Welcome to The Real Mom's Playbook, the movement where we elevate your life. Brought to you by our premier sponsor, Earthley Wellness. In season two, we build onward from the intentional transformation to conquer the chaos, live in alignment, and build systems that work. So grab a notebook and let's get going.
All right, and welcome back to The Real Mom's Playbook. I'm your host, Lisa Autry.
Today we close out season two, Elevate with more tangible tips, and today is all about time management as a busy and overworked mother.
First off, as we close out season two, I would love to thank our premier sponsor, Earthley Wellness.
Without Earthley, we would not have made this podcast, the very first two seasons, possible, so thank you so much. They are a brand who offers safe and natural products for the whole family. Earthley's mission is to change the way the world sees healthcare and does their part to create clean, pure products for you and your whole home and family.
I love their citrus laundry detergent and their baby soap. I love everything about this company and what they stand for. So make sure you head on over to earthley.com. You can use diaries, D I A R I E S, to receive 10% off at checkout.
So time, something we can't seem to get enough of and it keeps flying on by, but we try our best in order to capture it, to embody it, and to enjoy it.
We all have the same 1,440 minutes in a day, how are you spending yours?
A few episodes ago, we talked about the burnout and how to mitigate its impact. And if you haven't listened to it yet, make sure you go and listen to the burnout.
Today I wanna talk about resetting and rebalancing your time so that you can be most effective.
And resetting and rebalancing are really key factors I use for my clients, when they're coming back from traveling, they're transitioning through some chaotic times and they're just really struggling. We do our nice reset and then we rebalance and refocus.
So what is the reset? If you've read the Real Mom's Playbook, I talk about the reset in there. I'm a big advocate for it because it's gonna help you re-understand who you are and what is the priorities.
So first off, let's take a deep breath.
So it's a fact that you are probably juggling too much and it's weighing you down.
If you have more than one child who is very active and they do a lot of different things, it is adding chaos to your life.
And really the goal of a reset is to pause and prioritize your most important objectives. When we successfully reset and understand our priorities, it allows us to rebuild our time and say yes to the right things.
We also have talked about boundaries in the last few episodes, and boundaries are a very beautiful thing, and they allow our yeses to breathe and the things that are most important to us. And our yeses, remember, are built off of our value systems.
Remember, those boundaries are crucial in a reset and creating breadth for what is most important and let's be real, Also your sanity.
So if you're saying yes to everything, you're going to feel a little bit insane.
So how do we reset? I want you to quickly grab your notebook and answer these three important questions.
So number one, what is currently the issue? So when you're looking at this, what is currently the issue that you are stressing out about?
Number two, what are possible solutions to the chaos that is currently presenting itself? So maybe the solution is just accepting it, but I want you to look at the situation at hand and saying, am I really stressed out about this? Or is it something else? And what are possible solutions to that chaos?
And maybe you've dug yourself really deep in a hole of burnout. We need to address that and we need to gain clarity around that.
And then number three, is there a need to reset and what is included in my reset moving forward? Everyone's reset is gonna be unique to them on the things that they're going to be doing, but we're gonna have some framework that I'm giving to you guys today so you understand how to really reset and move forward because it's easy to hear, reset and be like, okay, I get it.
I'm gonna reset. What do I do? And I want it to be very simple for you guys because you need to take it and apply it and see success pretty instantly, because if it's too hard, we won't do it. Let's be real.
These three questions are all based upon clarity, because we know clarity is queen.
When we pause and ask ourselves what is currently the issue here, we are able to properly identify our triggers and see possible solutions despite the madness.
Even if one of those solutions, like I said, is just dealing with it or just accepting it, it's helping us understand and gain clarity around that.
So after you gain clarity with these questions, don't skip this part. This is very important because clarity is the foundation for a beautiful life. Then it's time for you to write down all of your current commitments.
What have you said yes to, and what is placed upon your schedule? So I'd love for you to look at your whole schedule and say, what commitments do we have? And every week we have gymnastics. So I put that, that is a longstanding commitment until otherwise, but you know, homeschool, right now we're taking a break.
So homeschool is not on the schedule and for another couple of weeks, we do cycle during the summer too, to prepare for the next year.
Your time is sacred and should be protected, but oftentimes we let too many things intervene in it. Now that you have all of your commitments written down, is there any that can be scaled back or canceled completely?
Are there any that you can increase productivity with by moving around? So when we look at our schedule, would it make sense to move certain things to certain days because then you're stacking different habits and it makes the most sense. You can batch them together.
Or do you need to move things off your plate altogether and say, we need to pause this for now, and there is nothing wrong with saying I can't anymore. Especially if you're the head of, you know, the parent teacher club and all of that stuff. If it's too much, you need to be open and honest because it's not sustainable in your life and something else is gonna get dropped, something that is even probably more important. Probably your health.
If everything seems important, then ultimately nothing is, we know that. So we need to scale importance to assess what adjustments can occur. So when you look at all of your commitments, whether it's work, housekeeping, running a business, being actively involved in your children's sports, being a coach, you know, all of these different commitments that we can say yes to, then I want you to scale them and say, what is the most important, what can I not get rid of?
And what are some things that either stress me out or of little importance and I just said yes to, and things that you can ultimately remove altogether.
The goal would be to remove enough that offers openness in your schedule to breathe and actually enjoy life.
So my girls, we started watching Super Nanny, we were talking about Super Nanny the other day and my girls were like, what is Super Nanny? So I told 'em, oh, it's a show where this woman comes and she helps the parents guide the children and discipline better because we know discipline is love, right? And this one couple literally gave each of their four kids, three or four things that they had to do every single day after school and these kids were burned out. Can you imagine being six years old and so burned out?
And unfortunately a lot of parents do that because we have a perception in our society that you must do all of these things for a perfect childhood and to make them successful in the future and these kids are burning out before they even reach adulthood where they're actually going to then work all the time.
And it was really interesting for me to see, it's like, hey, these people don't know how to enjoy life and they're teaching their children not to know how to enjoy life either.
You can enjoy your life and you know that.
And you are teaching your children how to enjoy their lives as well. Are you teaching them to overextend themselves with commitments that really aren't important? Or are you teaching them to relax, pick up a book, actually enjoy a cup of coffee while you just run around in the backyard and really enjoy the time you've been given.
Again, we all have the same 1,440 minutes in the day. Are you enjoying it or do you lay in bed at night dreading the next day? We wanna get away from that mentality. That's part of elevating our lives, right?
Are you taking on too much in your life that is constantly causing you to move, move, move, and you are exhausted beyond reason?
If that answer is yes, the reset is important. You need to write down these commitments and you need to see where you can make adjustments.
Right after the break, we're gonna talk about cross balancing to help you understand how to focus better, be right back.
And we are back. So cross balancing. I love this term.
I founded a few years ago when I was studying for my book that I was writing, the Real Mom's Playbook. And it has really stuck with me. I used to say I was the balancing queen, and now I'm like, Nope, I am not a balancing queen because it just, it doesn't sound right.
It's all about cross balancing now.
So, Fun fact balance is a lie. We know that we are not multi-processing people, AKA, we cannot effectively multi-task. And that's what balance means. It means everything on a scale is perfectly balanced.
This idea of multitasking came with the invention of computers because they can effectively function with those 35 browser tabs open.
We, however, as women and mothers, even though we are usually better than our counterparts, the men in our life, at multitasking, we still cannot do it the way machines can, right?
And so we end up overextending ourselves. Bogging our minds down creates anxiety, depression, overwhelm, chaos. And when we realize we are not computers, we come to understand that we cannot balance everything within our lives, it's just not possible. What we can do is cross balance it though.
I want you to stop listening to people who tell you that you can have it all, all the time. That's not effective and it's not helping you work through the struggles that you may have because you're like, everyone keeps telling me I can handle it all, but I can't.
And now in our generation, we have less of a village supporting us than ever. And so when you look at it and say, oh, I can have it all, if you don't have the support system, you really can't. So we need to make sure we're effective with our time and our energy to be the most productive that we can and not taking on too much and then learning how to effectively cross balance and so that's what I'm gonna be teaching you today.
So we cannot be multiple people all at once. Our brains, our bodies, and life just doesn't work that way. I will tell you though, you can have most of the things in your life the majority of the time. That's where cross balancing comes into play for your routines.
So what is cross balancing? It's the ability to move swiftly from one objective to the next with minimal reorient periods. The reorient period is the amount of time it takes for you to wrap your mind around the objective at hand. So for something like laundry, our reorient is short, whereas problem solving, like paying bills or answering emails has a higher reorient period.
When we're building in buffer time around tasks, ask yourself if it requires a lot of brain power or if it's a menial task. That will help you understand if it's a large or a small reorient period.
Let's look at laundry. If you've been folding the KonMari method for a long time, you can pick something up, you can even talk on the phone while folding it because it doesn't require your frontal lobe and that's where we process difficult tasks.
So with cross balancing, we take small chunks of time and fully focus on them. We are not balancing, we're not juggling all these things at once. We have one plate in our hand and we're fully focused on that one plate.
Like right now, I'm taking a 45 minute window to record this podcast. I'm fully invested in it and making sure I'm not interrupted so that I don't have to shift focus and cause a reorient, me focusing and then moving focus to something else and then going back.
So why is cross balancing important?
It allows you to fully focus on one objective and get it completed faster. So this is versus dragging something out over a whole day. If you're having to constantly reorient yourself, you're reminding yourself what you are working on, and it's almost starting all over again. So I want you to write down three tips to fully focus better so you can get your tasks done faster.
Especially some of the things that we don't like doing or we've been procrastinating doing, getting them done faster is gonna help our productivity, it's gonna help our happiness and joy factor, and it's gonna allow us to do bigger and better things, right?
So number one. Place your phone on the quiet setting and charge it away from you. So unless you're actively doing something on your phone, and I say actively because I don't want you mindlessly scrolling. It needs to be put away. Put on the quiet setting if possible and just keep it away from you. Because if you're playing with your kids and you have your phone right there, you're going to pick up your phone and mindlessly scroll, like that's just the majority of us as a society.
So place your phone on the quiet setting. If you have an Apple, it's the focus setting and it's perfect because unless it's an emergency, you can't see the texts coming in, you can't see the notifications coming in until you take it off of focus.
Number two, keep your kids busy with an activity and use a shorter chunk of time based on the age that they are and the attention they need.
So make sure you're fully focusing. If you get a 20 minute period, you get a 20 minute period. If you have really young children, try to build in your extreme focus times while they're napping or while they're having quiet time.
In the afternoon, my younger children go and lay down for a nap and my older child lays down and reads a book or something.
So I've told them before, hey, it's either my call time or I'm working on content, I'm working on the podcast, they know not to bother me cuz we all have our quiet time. And it's actually a great way midday to mitigate chaos and fighting because they're having time to process their minds. And that's really important too, for little tiny minds that are growing.
And then number three, work when you have the most energy to be the most efficient. So everyone based on their chronotype has a different window of their highest energy level, and so make sure you understand your chronotype.
Season one, I talk about becoming the queen of your routine, and the very first thing is understanding your chronotype so you know when to put in your deep work tasks, the tasks that require the most brain power, and that allows you to be far more productive.
Fully focus on one objective at a time. Stop spreading yourself so thin.
So if you have young children, you're probably gonna get interrupted sometimes. That's just the way it goes. We wanna decrease the amount of times that happens in a day though by making sure we can fully focus on very important things. You know, if you're folding laundry and your kids come up and talk to you, that's not such a big deal because it doesn't require a huge reorient period.
But if you are trying to handle a call or if you're trying to pay bills, being bothered a lot is causing your reorient period to be extended and take a lot longer to do one simple task.
This is why we pick the Power of Six, because it is highly achievable and sustainable.
What six objectives will you conquer per day, and do they compliment your values?
The power of six is very powerful. That's why it's called the power of six, because then you're able to say, here's six things that's divisible by 12 hours a day. We know that there's 24 hours in a day, but I'm giving you 12 hours to play around with and then 12 hours to condense six tasks in.
It's a lot more effective than trying to do one task throughout the day. Put your time where your values are, trust me, you will not regret it.
Really quick, let's take our final break and discuss what is next. Be right back.
And we are back.
I really can't believe that we're coming to a close on yet another season.
I love this podcast so much, and if you haven't yet, make sure you listen to both seasons to understand your intentional journey and how to elevate it.
And I wanna ask you, what is your takeaway from this season? What have you applied to your life to see success?
If you like this podcast, please give it five stars. Share it with a friend. Our goal is to change a million women's lives because they're changing the future as well. And that's my whole mission and I wanna share that with you guys, and I want you to share it with others too, because a more confident mom raises confident children and we know our children are the future.
So next season is coming out in a few short months. This season is called Transform, and we are gonna have an extra bonus to share with you guys as it gets closer.
So once you've subscribed to the podcast, you're going to get a nice little introduction of what to do before Season three launches. And I'm really excited about transform and what it's going to mean for you as a mom, as a mom owned business, as a working mom that we can unite and be successful in all aspects of our lives.
So for now, make sure you subscribe to my email list at thedaughterdiary.com to find out what's next, how I can support you on your journey towards becoming a cross balancing boss babe, and tips to make your life run smoother.
You won't wanna miss what The Daughter Diaries is bringing to you next. I honestly cannot wait. We have been working tireless. I don't know how I was able to grow a baby, birth a baby, and do all the things I've done, but it's because I'm leading with my values and it is so easy when you love what you do.
So we're doing so many amazing things, and I want you to be involved in it.
So until then, keep your vibe high, keep your priority straight, and lead with those values.
See you next time. This is The Real Mom's Playbook. And I'm Lisa Autry. Thank you for joining me for The Real Mom's Playbook, which is made possible by our amazing sponsors.
Make sure you check the show notes for links and access to the amazing resources. You can find me at thedaughterdiary.com and on Instagram at The Daughter Diaries. See you next time. I'm Lisa Autry.