Welcome to the Real Moms Playbook, where balance becomes a lifestyle. Brought to you by our premier sponsor, The Breakfast Club Coffee Co. In Season 3, we are building good foundations with your Monday morning wake up. So fill your cup, grab a notebook, and let's get going. Welcome to episode 11 of the Real Moms Playbook.
I'm your host, Lisa Autry. Today, we're going to be sharing tips on building harmony in your home, so be ready to start creating peace and calm with your kids today.
But first I want to thank our premier sponsor, the Breakfast Club Coffee Co. I had the honor of chatting with the founders, Ashleigh and Stacey, all about their business and their mission to combine the love of coffee with a passion for sharing the gospel. You'll get to hear all about their conversation in our season three finale on November 25th.
Make sure you're subscribed, you won't want to miss this inspiring story and their heart behind the share Jesus movement.
Okay, let's dive into how we can bring more peace into our homes so our days feel calm and our families feel connected, even with our busy schedules and endless to do's.
If chaos, exhaustion, bickering, and nagging define your household, then this episode is for you.
I've got three tips to help get you started today. Today's topic is all around harmony. Harmony is the byproduct of having methods and systems of doing things, creating expectations for all members of the household, giving yourself space in the day to pause and having open communication filled with teaching appreciation and conversation.
We are going to dive into each of these topics so you can start moving forward and create that harmony you desire.
Tip one, create expectations and hold your children accountable. I love this quote by Ann Landers.
It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them successful human beings. We set the stage for the tone of our home by creating the expectations for our kids. Last episode, I had you explore your list of daily tasks and to brainstorm what you felt you could assign to your kids.
Accountability is the following through of those expectations we place on our kids. So it's the following up with them to make sure they did what we expected of them. And then it's the correcting and redirecting if they didn't follow through.
Everyone that lives in the home should own a piece of the home dynamic. Ownership creates a valuable work ethic, and it can also be fun. The other day I challenged my girls and my son to reset the home as quickly as possible before bed. This is known as our 10 minute tidy. I told them I was setting a timer and to see if they could do it before the timer went off. So this is something we do every single night, but I wanted to add a little fun challenge to it. They were rushing and resetting as quickly as possible and yelling, how much time is left, mom, how much time is left? They got it done in eight minutes and 27 seconds and they had even gotten dressed for bed and they were so proud of themselves. And it was just that little challenge to make it fun. I plan on doing this once, maybe twice a month to keep it kind of new and fresh. If your current state of mothering feels like nagging or bickering, I want to ask you, How can you make something fun?
It's really hard when we're bogged down in the chaos of motherhood to think light and free and fun. But here's two key questions that I want you to answer. I want you to ask yourself, what do I expect from my kids? And then what is my system for ensuring they follow through? And how can I make it more fun for everyone?
The fortune is in your follow up with them. Expectations are huge, but it can only be successful with tip number two, having time for open communication. Children cannot read our minds, so it's crucial that when we expect something from them, we need to give them the space to communicate it and teach it as well.
Accountability comes with a system of checking, adjusting, and guiding. Our system should be, we communicate what we need from our children, then we show our children, we let them do it, and then follow up to help make any adjustments or offer praise.
Most of us feel rushed in our day, so I want to know how can you create space in your day in order to communicate.
You don't need a ton of time for teaching moments, like showing your kids where you'd like them to keep their backpacks, or resetting the living room before lunch, or clearing the table at dinner.
Spend about five minutes or less teaching and guiding on small tasks. During that time, give the ownership over to them and see if they understand. Take that list you created from last week of tasks and ask yourself, which can you teach this week to your kids?
I recommend reviewing the system with them, like picking out their clothes the night before together a few times, and then asking them to do it themselves. It shows that you are a partnership with your children and willing to guide them together to learn.
Recently, my firstborn came to me and said her room was feeling a little bit cluttered and could she get a little help on tidying it.
So we carved out some special time and reviewed the areas that were stressing her out and how she could maintain it. That focused one on one guidance is so impactful and builds connection in the process. The most successful and connected families have that open communication. We guide our children to becoming the adults we hope they will be by teaching them, having them emulate our behaviors and nurture those behaviors.
And that brings me to tip number three, offer praise and be open. A growth mindset is huge when it comes to nurturing our children up. If they didn't do what you asked, be open and honest with them and show them again, not with yelling and nagging, but by being their coach and steady guide.
If they complain and have a hard time, communicate with them when it comes to your expectations and how you will persistently keep at it together. Recently, I had to get on to my middle daughter for slacking on her room. I'd tell them it was time for the 10 minute tidy before bed, and when I'd go look, nothing had been done.
I communicated to her what I expected to be done and asked her what her struggles were getting it done. We went over it and reviewed it each time and how I wanted it completed. And now when I tell her it's the 10 minute tidy, she goes in and resets it great. She even told me recently, mom, my room is looking so great. Huh?
Sometimes our children need a little bit more of handholding and honestly, sometimes I feel like it's It's just them wanting to have some extra bonding with us and that's okay.
And as their mothers, let's acknowledge and affirm them in that and be open and treat it as a partnership. Be open minded about this new transition into harmony, your expectations with your kids, and how you will move forward. It will take practice in order to get there, but with persistence and a purpose, you will get where you want to go.
So who is ready for harmony in their homes?
If you are ready to dive into and take action on your home routine and finances with your kids, I highly recommend grabbing my accountability with kids workbook and audio course. We dive into everything from building system for accountability, decluttering your children's spaces with them effectively, including them in the family routine and how to discuss finances with them and create family finance goals.
Accountability with kids is one of my favorite programs to create because it's such a hands on action oriented system to see lasting success with your kids within your home. So click the link in the show notes to grab it and start implementing right away. That's it for today. I hope you have an amazing week filled with harmony with your children.
See you next week. I'm Lisa Autry and this is The Real Moms Playbook. Thank you for joining me for The Real Moms Playbook, which has been made possible by our amazing sponsor. The Breakfast club, coffee co. Make sure you check the show notes for links and access to the resources from today's episode. If you love this podcast, make sure you subscribe, rate, and share.
See you next time. I'm Lisa Autry.