How Can I Rebuild Trust After a Gambling Addiction?

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So we're here to help. Transform your life. From the Ramsey Network and the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host. Open phones here eight eight two five The call is free and some say the advice is worth exactly what you pay for it. Chris is going to start us off in Chicago. Hey Chris, how are you? I'm doing well. Good. What's up?

Yeah. So about twelve years ago, um I used gambling as a coping mechanism and what was a social thing became an addiction. After about ten years I realized that tr or after two years I realized the trouble I was in. Um and I tried to fix it on my own. Uh they didn't go particularly well. My wife discovered my gambling about eight years ago, so two years after that. And uh I I did do the work. It was a traumatic and absolutely brutal situation for her to be in because all the as you know

My confession took the load off of me, but it just put it squarely on her shoulders. Now I did the work. I uh I was already in the process of wanting to do undo what I had done. I just wasn't at the place where I trusted the Lord to Help me save my family. Um And so I didn't confess it to her.

When it finally came out, I did the work. I spent a year and a half. I paid off all the debt. I put a significant sum in a savings account that she only had control over. Um therapy every week, G A. Um and it got to a point where even my therapist said, you know I think you're in a good place with the gambling. I don't think you need my therapy for that, but I'm willing to help you with my marriage. And so what has happened is I've regained the trust in the financial aspect of things.

And now, you know, I have kind of control of my money. We have two separate accounts. But what has happened is the damage that was done to the relationship has just put up such a significant wall that the things I now want to do with giving and um Just being a steward with the grace that God has given me in my finances. Everything on that aspect is completely separate. If I try to bring her into some of that of what I am doing or how I'm investing or saving or giving

Her response will be, Do what you want with your money. And so for the sake of peace in our household That that is not something I'm gonna demand of her. So it's been about seven years. You've been dry seven years. You've been sober seven years. Wow. Yes. Okay. Are y'all seeing a marriage counselor? She we tried it. Um, we've tried it a couple of times and she absolutely doesn't want to have anything to do with it.

So I understand that until the Lord softens her heart towards me, that that's not something I can I can't change her. So what I'm trying to figure out is without imposing on her and the resistance to any type of reconciliation in our marriage right now. How can I I'm not sure how to proceed with some of the things that you know, w the only debt we have is our house. Mm-hmm. Well it's hard to proceed with a life when you don't have a a marriage aim where you have a roommate.

Oh absolutely. And that's that it's hard to f it's hard to visualize a future uh a unified future when there's not a unified current. And so you know, and and So I mean your your the language that you're using around this is all correct. If if what you're really acting out follows the conversation that we've been having with you for the last four minutes, uh it's all very clear. Um Are there kids?

How old are they? Two young boys. Uh I'll say preteen to not nail me down quite as and you can answer as honestly as you can. Is she only staying with you because of them? No. The reason I think she's staying with me is then right now I am the bad guy. But if she chose to divorce me, there would be so some accountability from her family. And things like that that she would have to deal with. So my point is she's not staying with you out of love for you.

She's staying with you for some ulterior Um okay that's the point. Yeah, you y obviously you're correct. You can't make someone change what and obviously you're correct she has a reason to be pissed, but at some point it becomes more about her being pissed than it does the actual thing that happened. Um right. So like we went bankrupt. I was twenty eight years old. We had little babies and we lost everything because one hundred percent

of the real estate decisions were being made by me. I wasn't hiding anything, it wasn't an addiction, but my wife uh lost confidence in my judgment. With good reason. Hello. I was stupid. Okay, so um She lost ju you know, and so how do you regain that trust? Well, steadiness, consistency and working at okay, w you know, anytime I walk near anything that makes her feel like the phrase she uses it feels like you're scheming and scamming again.

And I wasn't scheming or scamming, but um it makes her feel like I'm my risk meter is gone again and she r has a large risk meter. So we have to really work together to make decisions in order for her in order for our decisions to stay in her comfort zone, especially in the early days. Today it's completely different. It's thirty years ago. Um but seven years there should be some progress

on coming back to the table unless you've given a reason for there not to be. And what you're saying is it it hasn't been. We've steadily and consistently moved away from all the problems. And so to invite her into all decisions and then and she refuses And and I want you to look at this with me so you have a comfort

So you you you know, you don't ever think I'm going back to where I was before. I understand the deception. I understand the actual loss of the money. Um and you know, but at some point we've got to grow back together on this. Otherwise we've got real issues here. And so I I don't know. That's something for a therapist to guide you in how much pressure you put on her to do that. But the bottom line is, uh, Chris, this is not good for her.

Right. She's got a bucket of acid in her guts and it's just boiling all the time. And that that's what lack of forgiveness does. Now She should not trust you except to the extent you are trustworthy. Worthy. Yeah. But if you're sharing everything

And she's got insight into all of it. And we make Cher and I make the decisions together ever since that event. Dave doesn't make any decisions to come home and say, look what I did. We make the decisions together. And if you're doing all of that and she's unwilling to join that, then that's the healing on her part that hasn't taken.

And I don't know how to force someone to do that or force a discussion about it. I would turn that over to your therapist, sir. I'm so sorry you guys have been through this. This gambling thing, folks, is out of control out there. DraftKings is not cute.

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Well, tax season is here. Time to get free checklists from us and guides that'll help you file. Yeah, we'll hope you get through the mess. Go to Ramseysolutions.com/slash taxes. Brandon is in Mississippi. Hi, Brandon. How are you? Uh I had a question um about helping our parents out. So um A W or ten ninety nine came in late uh due to uh the job that she was working and she has the money but not able to pay all of it right now. And if sh they were going to get a loan

it would be for the twenty five taxes instead of the twenty four taxes which um she was trying to take care of right now. And the question was, um I I know my parents They won't try to pay me back. Well they will try to pay me back but I won't, you know, request them to pay me back. But I was uh thinking about getting a loan to try to assist them for the twenty four taxes. How much is due for the twenty four taxes?

Uh twenty seven. Twenty seven what? Thousand. Twenty seven thousand night. Okay. Yes. And uh how much for twenty five? Yeah, I'm not sure. I'm not sure about the twenty five. But z but she was trying to make sure and take care of the twenty seven now'cause that is the most important thing which is for twenty four. What's what else about their financial history? Do how much are they earning every every month or every year do you know?

Um, yeah, so I would say mother probably brings around one thirty. Uhhuh. Uh father probably around at ninety. So there's no reason they shouldn't be paying their taxes. Why is she not she not not uh setting aside money for her ten ninety nine sh income? Yes, not enough. A dub late ten ninety nine came in.

Mm-hmm. And uh so they had to do that. No, that's not what happened. That would have to be some big ninety nine came in and she knew the money had already come in. So the money uh the fact that she had this income is not a surprise. That's bull crap. You follow me? You don't get a 1099 for$100,000 you didn't know was coming because you have the$100,000. So this is what's scaring me is that this is gonna go on and on and on and on and on.

The the have they we don't know if they've gone to the root of this and fixed it or not. Because ten ninety nines just don't fly in the window without the money having already come a year before. Is this a brand new business or has she been doing this for a while? Um ever since she retired. Okay. Which was when? Uh how about three, four? Okay. So she's never paid her taxes right, is what we're saying. Yeah, I think this is compiling

Yeah, she has. So twenty three it's five twenty three from there it's all fine. It was just the lead the twenty four. That's where it started to get. Well, but twenty five you don't know what it is. Tell No, I don't tell me about your uh financial situation. Um, I need it myself. Um,

That's all I needed to know. Okay, so and you said you were gonna borrow the money. So n the answer to your question is no, you don't borrow the money, but let's help'em anyway. Let's figure out how we can help them. And you can go back to them with some advice. But it's you borrowing money for these people that make two hundred and ten thousand dollars and are out of control is a really bad idea. So no, I would not do that. Not in a million years.

Now, should they borrow the money? You mentioned that she had the money but she can't get to it. What's that mean? So um other scenarios and situations came up. That that money that was set aside for those taxes had to be used for something else. Well that's pretty vague. What? Well I would say um Things that came up due to housing, uh things that they need to fix around the house. Um

That's pretty much all the information I kind of got. So can't pretty all the information. But she doesn't have the money like in some account she just doesn't want to touch. She p spent the money to fix her kitchen or whatever, right? Right. No, it's not that all no there's no mu they have no money. Is that what you're telling me? Yes. Do they have anything they could sell? Do they have vehicles with payments or no payments? Is there anything they could sell to to get this money?

Um I would say both vehicles have a payment. Um Nothing in my mind I just come off the top of the head and it could say they could fail. Here's what I would tell them. Okay. I would say you make two hundred and ten thousand dollars and you're completely out of control. We've got to get your taxes set up and you that those tax accounts are once you set those money aside out of your ten ninety nine income for your quarterly estimates, which you mentioned, it sounds like somebody knows what to do.

uh, then that money is sacred. You do not touch it. And I don't care what comes up. It's already spent. You don't have it anymore. You just have it in your name. You have to forget you own that money. And so nothing can come up. Your little brother needs a car, toughies. Nothing can come up. Some a some friend calls and wants a medical bill paid, nothing you don't own this money anymore. It's already tax money. You have to quit.

even leaving it available emotionally. This is me talking to your parents, okay? Mm-hmm. So that this never, ever, ever, ever comes back again. And then we need to work you out of debt. With a budget, put you on every dollar, and you guys are gonna start living on way less than you make because you got a couple of stupid car payments and you owe the KGB, I mean the IRS, twenty seven thousand freaking dollars.

And so we're gonna put you on a payment plan with the IRS and they are the first debt you're gonna pay off, and you're gonna pay them off in less than twelve months. You make two hundred and ten thousand dollars, you ought to be able to pay thirty thousand off very, very quickly. And just pay the IRS. That's what I would do. Would I go borrow money to pay the IRS? No, I would not.

Not in this situation. Because I want to make sure that the at the core of this, at the root that caused this problem, that it goes away. And you borrowing money it to go get them out of this when they make this kind of money and it and are this disorganized and chaotic is really suicidal for you, sir. Please do not do this. Yeah. How long have you been listening to our show?

Oh. Wow. I actually uh learned from them uh that told me about you guys. Okay, so that means uh you both have should have some sins beyond this, right? Um and I want you to get serious about this. If you've been listening to the show, you know the things that we're teaching around here. Um so I wanna make sure that today if we give you every dollar, will you go on there and will you start getting into the classes and every dollar and let it teach you what to do next?

Oh yeah, I I already have every dollar that's a little bit more than a little bit of a dollar. But no, you don't y you knew before you called in here. I wasn't gonna tell you we weren't gonna tell you to borrow money. This is like and we certain w certainly weren't gonna borrow money for this. This is like that scripture where the man looks in the mirror and he walks away and immediately forgets what he looks like.

If you listen to this stuff every day, it's up to you to put it into practice. It's not it doesn't happen by osmosis. It doesn't happen automatically. You have to then go away and do the things that we teach. Otherwise Your life is not gonna change. Yeah. Including when I went broke, Larry Briquette used to say that personal financial problems are not the problem, they're the symptom of something else going on. So in this case you don't have a tax problem.

You have an accounting problem'cause you didn't set set the money aside to pay your taxes, and then when you did, you went and did something stupid with it instead of paying your taxes. And so now you got yourself between you and the government, which is a really horrible place to be for anybody. None of us want to be there.

Certainly not. These are not people with a sense of humor. These are not people w that are powerless. They have lots of power uh to screw you over, and they will. So you need to get on a payment plan with them and get'em paid off and never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever Touch your tax money for anything ever again. Yeah. Period.

It's gone. It's already gone. You just moved it in on the count. You hadn't given it to him yet, but it's already gone. It's just like withholding. It's gone. Yeah. I used to go in there and every month I'd put move the taxes over. I did not play games with that. No, you g you gotta do it every time you write a check. Yeah.

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Martina's in Phoenix. Hi Martina, what's up? Uh hi. Um I uh two and a half years ago I bought a a car and um It's a good car, it's a two thousand eighteen Corolla. Um, but I have a sixteen point five percent interest on it and over half of my payments go only to interest. Um, I'm actually the co signer on the car on the car and my mother is the main signer on the car and I have had job instability, hobby instability over the years and I'm just not putting my life together.

Um, but currently I I haven't even been able to make my February car payment. So um I also rely on this car as a source of income. Um, so I d uh what are you what is your advice on the car? I would look for a different I would start looking for a different source of income that's not tied to this car. My guess is you're doing some of the one of the delivery apps. Uh yeah, I'm actually a lift driver. Um I had a dead end job. Uh I I quit that, but I got a new job that is

A really good job, but um it just it doesn't start for a couple more weeks. What is what is it how much are you gonna be making at the new good job? Um, about three to four thousand a year. It's You mean a month? Or month, I mean sorry. Uh month. I um I I am a uh swim instructor and I'm contracting with a pool that pays very well for their lessons. Okay. And then uh what's w what do you owe? What's the total amount owed on this car?

Uh I owe sixteen thousand two hundred and I originally paid eighteen thousand five hundred. Have you looked to see what it's worth? If you looked on Kelly Blue Book, have you looked to see what it's worth private sale? Uh yes, it's four seventy five hundred. Oh boy, what happened to it?

She's been driving Uber. Oh, yeah, that's true. Destroying the car. Oh my gosh. Okay, well then your only choice here you're I mean, you're gonna have to pay it off because it's such a low value. Um and you're gonna have to work quickly to do it. Is it your only debt? Oh, definitely not. I've got about fifty thousand dollars in in student debt and I ended up dropping out of school uh due to mental health issues and I have about

twenty five thousand dollars twenty to twenty five thousand in personal loans and credit cards. And then I have an un I don't even know how many thousands of dollars in medical debt uh it's I don't even like knowing So you're gonna be doing you'll be doing swim lessons at this place. How long is it gonna take you to build up your lesson pool to make four thousand a month? Or is there a base pay?

Uh uh because I make uh I'm gonna be making about thirty to forty dollars an hour. Uh are they are they gonna work you forty hours? Uh, d that's the plan. But uh yeah, it that's the problem is it it does depend on how many clients they get. They do get a lot of clients.

Yeah, I'd I'd be looking really deeply into that, uh, first off and My homework for you leaving this call is I would have something else lined up that gives me the ability to work because you don't know how many clients they're gonna send your way and you don't know qu how quickly your calendar is gonna fill up and you've gotta get started on this debt.

ASAP because here's the thing, if you default on another payment it's really gonna mess with your mom. I'm sure it already has, right? Yeah, I feel bad for my mom and I my mom does try to help when she can, but she's already She's a single mom raising my teen teenage brother with special needs, so she's already strapped a lot. What what we've got to start with, let's go back to basics. All right. Okay. Before you do anything else with money, you take care of food. SHELTER

Basic clothing, transportation, and utilities. Okay. Do you pay r do you pay rent? I do and I live in the smallest, cheapest apartment I could find here in Phoenix and I Perfect. So you pay the rent. So you pay the rent and you go to the grocery store. Stop. You pay the rent. You go to the grocery store, you get the car current. Before you do anything. All the other debts can wait till you pay rent, get the car current, get cloth get food on the table. Okay?

Before you do anything you gotta build a basic foundation in your life and that's food, shelter, clothing, transportation and utilities. Okay. Now once you're current on the car, then you can decide, let's reach out to the student loan people, let them know you need a hardship deferral.

And send them some of the paperwork on some of the mental illness issues you've had and just to let the bureaucrats have something to chew on for a little while while they wait around. You do nothing, you quit paying them for right now. And then you get this book of business at the uh uh uh the swim lessons full as fast as you can and Jade's right, in the meantime and even after, I want you to work all the time. Cause what you need to fix your whole life right now is sixteen thousand dollars.

Yeah. If you had sixteen thousand dollars and this car payment was gone, we could really get after some of those other debts, couldn't we? Yeah, it feels like that that um car loan is a big wall between me and basically the rest of my life and agree. So we need to go find an extra two thousand dollars a month for eight months. And smack this thing in the head.

Okay. But that's means like all you do is work, girl. You just work all the and it and it's not Uber. Freaking Uber's making the car worse. Mm-hmm. Okay, you're putting so many miles on it, you've destroyed the value of the car. So but if they if you could if you can work eighty hours a week with swim lessons, just put your fins on and go.

Right? Yeah. I mean, if you can't get if you can't get a bunch of hours down there, then let's find something else that you can do that that's the thing where you make the most possible money that's moral and legal. Okay? Uh and I want you to go cray cray for a while because the way you bust this is you throw dynamite in the middle of it and the dynamite is dollar bills. Okay. I like that. shelter, lights and water, and pay off the stinking car.

And that's all I am breathing to do right now. I breathe in and out every morning. I'm tired because I work all the time, but by God, I'm making progress for the first time in five years. Yes. You can do this. You can do it. What was the nature of your mental illness stuff? I haven't. uh level one high functioning autism and that has made it hard for me to hold a regular full time job. Yep. Um

And then I also ha ha because of that stems like some anxiety and depression. Yeah. Um, I have uh over the last few months gotten on the right meds, gotten into the stable housing and Finally I'm starting to get my finances stable. I'm trying to do baby suck one right now and lack. In thirty five years of doing this, I've worked with a whole bunch of people.

that both had high level functioning autism and I've worked with a whole bunch of people that had depression. And the thing I know is the depression is made worse when you feel trapped. And when you're not in action mode. When you get in action mode and get in warrior mode and get in attack mode, it helps because it releases the dopamine and other things and it helps to melt away the depression.

And the autism can the high functioning autism can actually work on in your favor in those situations because you have the ability to do extreme amounts of focus, don't you? Yeah, I'm really good at teaching people to swim and actually the gym I'm working at is uh called Ability Three Six C and it's actually an adaptive gym and most of their employees have some kind of disability. Okay.

And anything you can do to help people work out, if you could get a personal trainer thing going. I I was gonna say you need to go. To the that the thing that has been a blocker for you, but y because if as you start melting away these debts, first and foremost you get this car off your back, off your mother's back, your brain is gonna clear up.

The fog that you've been walking in, the stress related anxiety of feeling trapped in sixteen percent and feeling honestly shame about signing up for sixteen percent too. That was dumb. Well you're not dumb, but that was dumb. So the you know, y what you do is you get an attack mode, Warrior Girl. You put on your warrior stuff and you get after it. Complete focus. I don't want you to pay anybody else. Just let them all go bad.

I don't really give a crap about your credit. You already don't have credit. We know that because you had a sixteen point eight percent car payment. So you know your credit's trash already. So I'm not worried about that at all. I'm worried about you. I want you to be free. So you hang on and we'll get you signed up for every dollar and that'll help you walk through this stuff as well.

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Rochelle is with us in Reno, Nevada. Hey Nick Rochelle, how are you? I'm well, thank you. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Hey, so okay, my husband and I are in um baby step two and I feel like we've kind of tripped ourselves up because We don't know. He gets paid weekly and we're trying to decide if we should um do snowball like weekly or wait till the end of the month to pay off like a lump sum.

So when you go through and you do the paycheck planner on every dollar, do you know for sure at the end of the week that you can pay the money off and it won't come back to bite you in the butt later? Um, I we have done it. We have about four hundred dollars. So I uh we have about four hundred dollars like extra at the end of the week to have

In order to have all of our bills paid at the end of the month. Yeah. I mean, I don't have a problem with that. That's the way Sam and I used to do it, but we got paid weekly. And so it just made it easier and I made a schedule of making sure everything was covered, everything was good to go. And then yeah, that that freed up freed us up to be able to do it that way. So I I don't have a problem with that. I think that's great.

Okay. Because it just feels like we're not getting anywhere right now because And I think we're we're motivated by that like, Oh look, we paid this or we paid this. Yes. And it feels like we're not getting anywhere. And my I have one more question. We are getting anywhere. It's just a whole bunch of it at the end of the month, right? Yes. Yes. You're just going to go to the bottom.

Yeah. Yeah. And rent and whatever. Yeah. You're just trying to build in some momentum so that you feel like something's happening every week to keep you going. Am I right? Correct. If there's any of the stuff you're paying in that first segment, look at your paycheck are you using paycheck planner on every dollar?

We are. Okay. If you look at that paycheck planner and say I could roll this item from the first segment to the second segment and use some of that first segment money to get out of debt and that would keep me that momentum.

And so if there's a bill that you're paying in the first set that can wait till the second set without being late or getting late fees or dinging your credit or something like that, anything you could push off into that other segment, use that money in the first segment for debt, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah,'cause right now she's doing f you're doing four hundred extra a week, right? No, just in the first second.

Wait a minute. I'm sorry. Are you doing this weekly or bi weekly? We were trying to do it weekly. So you get paid weekly? I think he gets paid we get paid weekly, yes. Good. Okay. So yeah, each week figure figure out anything that doesn't have to be in that week, that could be in the next week, to allow you to pay more debt in that week.

that will give you that emotional being that each time we're paying some necessities and we're paying some debt. We're paying some necessities, we're paying some debt, we're paying that'll give you that m that sense of momentum. But the math is basically the same. If you said, okay, the first two weeks we're paying only necessities, no debt, and the last two weeks we're paying all debt, it's the same math basically. But it the problem is just the emotion of it, right?

Yes. Yeah. Yes, I can. And you are working at smallest to largest, right? We are. And what is your smallest debt currently? Small stunt currently is seven thirty five. Oh good. And what's your house what's your household income? S uh we bring home seventy six hundred a month. And how much are you putting on debt a month? The goal is to put um fourteen hundred a month. Okay. So that one's gone in one month, right? And another one.

Yes. Now you told me, I just want to check that because you told me you had four hundred dollars margin at the end of every month. I'm sorry, at the end of every week. So where's the other two hundred? I wanna say it's about four thirty. Okay. Oh yeah, so that should be even more going towards the debt. Yeah. So just double check that. I like the idea of doing it weekly. The other thing is you just started, didn't you?

We did just start, yeah. That's okay. Nothing wrong with that. But the way you're describing all of this is what gave me a hint to that fac fact. What will happen and Jade can testify to this too, is the longer you do this uh the more intense you're gonna get'cause you're gonna start to see this stuff melt away and you're gonna crunch some other stuff out of there. You're probably gonna end up with more margin than just fourteen or fifteen hundred.

Okay, yeah. Yeah, you're as you get further into this and you get used to the rhythm of it. and you start to see it work, you're gonna say, I'm cutting that and I'm cutting that and I'm cutting that. Yeah and you're gonna work extra and I'm cutting that. Yeah, and if you don't have side hustles you need to lock those in today because all of that

All of that is going to go towards this, and all of that is going to give you that momentum that you want to feel. Bobby's in Nashville. Hey, Bobby, what's up?

Hey guys. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. How can we help? Um absolutely. So I am s you know, started to make some decent money. Um my wife and I are about eighty thousand dollars in debt. And feels like we're not not quite month to month, but we're we're pretty drained. What what's decent.

Uh I make about a hundred and fifty thousand. My wife makes about twenty five thousand. Okay, so we have a hundred and seventy five thousand dollar income. How much debt have you got? That's right. Eighty thousand. Not counting the house? Not counting the house. Break the eighty foot down for me. How much of that's cars? I got twenty two thousand in the car. Okay. Only one car debt. Okay. What's the other uh what's the other fifty eight thousand?

So twenty thousand in personal loan and the rest in consumer debt, credit cards. Okay. She got forty in credit cards. About that forty thousand in credit card debt? Say that again, I'm sorry. Um, we moved actually to the Nashville area about five years ago, so there was some of that and moving costs and there was some medical bills, stuff like that. Okay. Yeah. And some overspending and stuff like that.

100% agrees. Yes. Correct. Okay. All right. Cool. So y it sounds like you recently got a raid. Yes, recently did get a raise, uh started a new job. That that gives you a wake up call, okay, we gotta clean this crap up now, right? Absolutely. Okay, good. That's a good place to be. That's a good place to be emotionally. All right. So what we teach is a process called the baby steps. You may have heard of it.

Where we list your debts where we we say first get a thousand dollars set aside. Second one is list your debts smallest to largest. Live on beans and rice, rice and beans, scorched lifestyle, no going out to eat, no vacations, no whining, work all the time and pay off the stinking debt as fast as you can. Oh by the way, y'all need to have a plastic surgery party tonight.

And cut up those credit cards. Light a candle, have a ceremony, and chop those things up. They are destroying your freaking life. They're half of your debt. Yeah. And the next time we get ready to buy something, we're gonna pay for it.

We also have, you know, I have three kids. They're all in their activities. So there's, you know, travel baseball and competitive dance and we're we're paying a healthy portion. Well, maybe there is or maybe there isn't. You make a hundred and seventy five thousand dollars a year. Can you afford to continue to do that? You ask you and your wife, ask yourselves and get this debt paid off. Because i you know, I'm telling you, I'm not putting the family in debt for travel baseball.

Yeah, something's gonna ha there you're going to feel the sacrifice of this somewhere. It's either I don't know if you can do it or not. You guys gotta look at it. But but you the two of you need to d don't s don't start this conversation with a reason you can't do this. 'Cause you can do it. It's just a matter of how m who's crying. Right. Yeah. We we definitely need to get better about our budget. I we we haven't really tightened that up as well. So you you don't even have one.

You don't have to get better about it. You're gonna have to do one and then you're gonna have to be sacrificial about it. And the more sac so here's the deal. You make one seventy five if you lived on ninety five freaking thousand dollars, not counting taxes, you'd be debt free in a year. Right. But that's gonna require a way different lifestyle than you guys have been living, because y'all been buying in it everything in sight like you're in Congress.

And n nobody in your house has heard the word no in a long time. Kids, you, your wife, anybody. So y'all are gonna start looking at each other and go, no. 'Cause it's stealing your future. You make too much money now for this to continue to be the way to do things. Too many people get a raise a and the way they celebrate it is a new car payment.

Well you gotta stop that. This has to be broken. This is the cycle that breaks. So you sit down with your wife tonight and go, okay, time for us to be grown ups and we're gonna have to reintroduce the ancient word to our household. The word is new. Period. It's a complete sentence. Yeah it is.

Everybody practice it with me. You press your tongue towards the roof of your mouth, make a kissing motion with your lips. It sounds like this. No. It's illegal to say that to any group or person in America today. No. But it's a healthy word. It sets you free.

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Welcome back to the Ramsey Show in the Fairwinds Credit Union Studio. Jade Washaw, Ramsey personality, number one best-selling author is my co-host today. Nicole is in Detroit. Hi, Nicole. How are you? Hi Dave, I'm good. How are ya? Better than I'm not at all. Better than we deserve. How can we help? Um, so I was calling. Um, so basically my husband has refused to put like give me financial visibility into his life. Um he has put his foot down like you know, literally like no

You cannot see anything that I have going on financially. I can tell you about it. Um, but you you can't know anything that's going on. Um, and the reason why it happened is we were in a position to buy a home and the the housing counselor and the lender that we were working with asked about our finances and I found myself saying, Well, I don't I don't know. Uh um let me hold let me hold on, let me ask my husband. Mm and then I after our call was done I told my husband, I said, you know

I shouldn't have to say hold on to anyone, let me ask my husband. Right. I shouldn't know what's going on, you know, i in that part of your life. It's like we're roommates. It's like you're you're over here and He, he said, I'm a grown man I do not have to show you anything financially in my life. I'm saying but you're a deacon. You're a deacon.

And you're my husband. I said, We're supposed to be one. That you saying that makes us not be one. And what is that? Me showing you my money have nothing to do with us being one. My husband is a deacon. Yeah, but this is this. So where are we now? So I moved out. Um, we we were in a rental. Um, when I when we came together eight years ago, it was it was his house. So I moved in with him. We've been there for eight years. We were trying to work on getting our own house.

And because all this, I mean it it's so bad days. It it's so bad day. But what else is going on?'Cause this was explosive. So what else is going on? I I I have a feeling that it wasn't this has not been the only issue is what I'm gathering. Yep. Nope. So he has a twenty one year old son, um, and his son is very disrespectful. Um, he basically it's basically like he runs the house.

And if I try to say anything to him about his son, what his son does, if I try to tell him stuff that goes on when he's not a around, he never believes me. Uhhuh. So it's just it's it's just bubbling over. Yeah. How can we help you today, hon? So I just wanna know shh so we've separated. He has filed divorce papers, but I haven't signed them yet.

I'm trying to talk to him, but he is not talk to a bolt. Gotcha. That's not a word. Have you suggested some sort of counsel? Have you suggested, hey, this is really bad. We need to get in counseling. What did he say? Yes. I said that and he said no because you're that person is not gonna tell me that I have to allow you to see my money. See, here's the thing, and I I'm just gonna go ahead and say this. This is based off of just what you've told me, so take it with a grain of salt. This

Based on what you're saying, there's something going on he doesn't want you to see. And maybe it does have to do with his uh stature or how people view him. He doesn't want you to have any parts of what he's doing with his money. Maybe that's a blessing. He's the one that's filed for divorce. Maybe this is you dodging a bullet. I don't know. I don't know. But this sounds like somebody who doesn't

It sounds like somebody who's got extremely high pride that they cannot be told nor learn anything about a better way to exist in a relationship. That's what you've told me. Yeah. The um uh all of his finances are now gonna get exposed. In the divorce. Right. Because the judge is not gonna uh go along with his plan. It's very ironic. One hundred percent of his vi finances have to be exposed or

he's going to have to lie to the court, which will get him put in jail. So, uh, you don't lie to the court, not even divorce court. So You know, he has to come he has to show all the stuff to the lawyers and th it has to all come before the judge and he's gonna find out that half of it's yours. That's gonna be very weird for him. Yeah. Well we only been married two years.

Yeah, that doesn't matter. Oh, I thought it was eight. So you've been in the house for six together. Okay. Uh what are you concerned about? Are you concerned that there's debt that your name might be on? That you don't know about? Actually, so before we separated, um I had to find out the hard way that he had a garnishment on my on my account. And so I had to ask him several times to get it taken care of. Um he got them to remove it and put it on his bank account, but he was not happy about it.

And y you know, so I was just like For you to be so angry with me and telling me no, you won't allow me to see you financially, but you got a garnishment on my on my account. How is that fair? There's probably some shame going on that you don't know about. There's probably a lot here going on that you don't know about.

And it's pr uh now granted, I don't know what parts you've contributed to whatever mess is here. I'm sure there's is two you know, two sides to everything. But um but my guess is there's some things going on that might be causing him some shame or You know, it may might be just the way he views

Uh, those gender roles that you guys never aligned on. That money is the man's thing and it's not who knows? But there it's never gonna come out'cause he won't go to counseling with you. Yeah, it's gonna come out in the divorce. You're gonna find out everything about his money in the divorce. Um, which is the irony of him filing for divorce because you wanted to find out what was going on with the money. So it's kinda

Ironic. And he just is he's just d he's just dumb enough he doesn't know that. So this is gonna be a real surprise to him. It's gonna be this awesome wake up call for him. Uh'cause the judge doesn't really care about the judge doesn't really care about his theories. He's just gonna tell him what to do and if you don't do it you're in contempt of court and it's really nasty. You don't wan you don't wanna screw around with the judge.

So um th this is this is where he's going. Y the question you asked I have a sad, horrible answer for. What can I say to him to do to make him want to do this? And the answer is nothing. There's not anything you can say to him. I wish there was one phrase, one way of doing it, but this is a very entrenched position that he has taken to the point he's willing to give up his marriage

over this. And so there's not a single phrase. If he was coming to the table and saying, Hey, I want to work on this, let's go to counseling, I could give you some things to say to do all that. But but in this situation You know, you're just gonna be uh, you know, j just throwing water against the wall. There's nothing happening here. So um I I'm sorry. I'm sorry that you chose poorly in a husband.

This guy this guy's bad news. Too bad. Yeah. Um you wouldn't no one listening that has a daughter would want their daughter to marry this guy. Not a person out there. Uh, regardless of how much Nicole contributed or whatever else was going on in the house, all that kind of thing, but this is a guy that. Isn't is not in a good place and he's not helpful and he's not a good husband and That's sad. You're you know, there's not a single phrase that's gonna make him not be a jerk.

I don't have that not be a jerk phrase. I don't have one of those. And I'm sorry. I wish it was. I wish it was something we could just do. But unless he just decides that he wants to be together, unified, work together in full visibility, and in order to save his marriage. and start g with a marriage counselor, then you're you're not gonna make it, Keto. I'm sorry. I wish you were.

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Maria is in Arkansas. Hi Maria, how are you? Hi, thank you guys for taking my call. I'm a little nervous, so I'll try to do my best. Um, but I guess um trying to get an advice for my husband and I. Um we're trying to start building our forever home. Um, and sometimes we're like, Yeah, let's go ahead and you know, get in bed, you know, take a long out and then there's times where we be like, Well what if we just

cash flow everything, call it a day. Um we are debt free. Um we don't have any car payments or anything like that. That's good. And we have been saving um for the past couple of years. Both of us got Uh right now it's a little bit over a hundred and eighty K. Hundred and eighty? A hundred and what? Eighty. A hundred and eighty thousand dollars. Wow. What do you think? And what is the house gonna cost?

Um the quote that we got it's around between three hundred eighty and three hundred ninety. Okay. Did you save one hundred and eighty in two years? Yes. Wow. Excellent. Yes. So, you know, like I said, we're trying to figure out if it's okay for us to stop investing right now just for a couple of years. Yeah. Or um, you know, to put all that money into cash flow in the house or if it's okay for us to take out a HELOC. Did you save one eighty while investing? Fifteen percent?

Yeah, but we'll no, we were not investing fifteen percent. We're only investing between five and eight percent. Okay, okay, good. I would stop investing completely. I'm with you. And I would cash flow this thing. And here's the thing you need to remember. It ta it'll take you a year to build it. Correct. So you can start in one year. 'Cause you need y two years worth of savings, you'll have the whole amount, right?

Yes, that's what we're hoping for, you know, if everything works out the way you know we kinda planned it. I I would I would start the house in one year. I'd get all my plans done. Have you got the lot already? Yes. And it's already paid for. Yes, we're going to be able to do that. I'm sorry? Okay, good. So all we gotta do is just cover the bricks and mortar. Do you have your plans done? Yes. You have your builder selected?

Yes. Awesomeness. Okay. Well, what we do on what I've done a couple of times, including the building we're sitting in, as a matter of fact. I did not have a hundred percent of the money in the bank when we broke ground, but I knew it would be here by the time I needed it. Meaning that if it takes you a year to build and um it takes you two years to save the money, then you'd be safe to start building in one year. Does that make sense to you?

Yes, yes, definitely. Yeah. And uh if you can do do this in two years and stop everything and and you'll have a paid for three hundred and eighty thousand dollar plus the lot, a four hundred, four hundred and fifty thousand dollar house. Sweet. How old are you guys? Um thirty two and he's thirty seven. Uh it's a hundred and around a hundred and fifty. How'd you save this money so fast? You guys live on nothing, don't you?

Well, we we I think we're pretty good fighters at the best way. I think you're above average. It's very impressive. And you're not going to be able to do that. If you move if you moved in two years from today, would you be okay with that? Uh I think I just want to go ahead and get started. I don't mind getting alone just because I guess I'm more of of the on the emo emotional side. Yes. Yeah. I guess you could say that. Okay.

Well I mean what we teach what we teach is best is paying cash, next best is a house you can pay off in fifteen years. In your case you can pay it off in one year. If you started today and it was finished in one year, you would need to borrow one year's worth of savings rate or about a hundred thousand dollars, and you pay that off in one year. Mm-hmm. Yes, I agree. My s my fear is is that you'll let your foot off the gas and not pay it off in one year.

That's my fear. So I I would love to talk you into waiting just one extra year, which will go pretty fast. I mean To me it feels like COVID was like last month and it was five almost six years ago. I agree. Yeah. And so my point is this thing goes fast. So if you start um You know, I I don't know. You guys keep talking about it, but anywhere in there is fine with me. If you want to start now, you're not doing anything stupid.

It's not it's good, better, best. Okay? And what what you guys are talking about, cash flow and a hundred percent is the best. I love that. There's no hiccups in that. uh you know, better than but but you know, and still in the good range is painted off in one year. Which is if you took a loan out today and you don't need to take out a loan today, you'd need to take out a loan somewhere in the building process because you won't quite have enough to finish it.

Correct. But I mean you could get started today, put a hundred and eighty into it. If you slow walk the project and it takes eighteen months, you'll be there. You can make it. You know, you'll make it out. Okay. So just, you know, but but just be looking at that and thinking about this. I like the plan of taking dead off the table and we have to push this through'cause it makes you do a whole bunch of stuff. Keeps you from having scale creep uh in the kitchen.

You know, it's either you select a different dishwasher, you select a different whatever. And I'll add one other thing to this. on the emotions. Okay? You can justify a lot of things emotionally when you say it's my forever house. And I've been doing this for a long time and I grew up with parents in the real estate business. There is no such thing as a forever house. You will not be there forever. Statistically, the chances of you dying in this house are very close to zero.

Very close. So this idea of a forever house, there's only one, it's heaven. That's it. you don't have a forever house here. You're going to move. Stuff's gonna happen. Things are gonna change that you can't see, good and bad, that are gonna give you an opportunity to move up, move out, move somewhere, and This is a great house and it's a great plan and all of that, but take the pressure off of a forever house.

Because it's like'cause then everything has to be perfect. And I've I've built a bunch of houses that I live in and they're never perfect. It's never a perfect process. It's a very messy uh combative, combustive process and if you put the pressure on it that it has to be perfect'cause we're gonna be here forever, um, it's just too much. You can't breathe in that. Yeah, plus you're gonna look at it in five years and and want things to look a little different anyway.

Oh, I don't even want to talk about it. Sounds like you have a little experience with that. Man, I I Yeah. Yeah. I mean I I but the and I I sol I was actually when I was twenty two I was in we're selling houses in a Subdivision where we built custom homes. Mm-hmm. And the people in there that were the hardest to deal with were the ones that had had uh they thought this was the gonna be their last home. Right. Or their only home ever. And and that puts the pressure on the process to be

Perfect. Can't be they're over there every day driving the subs crazy. You know? Let them do their work. It's a it's a dry it's a piece of drywall. Let them do their job, okay? God for God's sakes. You know, and it's just it And and it changes their pressure on how fast we get this done and how much money we take and how much money we spend and all that. So anyway, all that to say, Maria, I think you guys have done an extraordinary job.

Way to go. We're proud of you. And if you start this month and you take on a little debt and you pay it off fast, that's not the dumbest thing in the world. But one step smarter would be to cash flow it. So and anywhere in between there, like we start in six months. and we go eighteen months to build it, oh, now we made it. You know, that kind of thing. Yeah, I think that's what's gonna end up happening anyway. Yeah. Takes a minute, takes a hot minute to get all this stuff done.

Uh but yeah, it's a great, great way to go and when you're paying cash like this, you're gonna watch every dollar in the budget with the builder, make sure everything's dialed in and uh you push all those buttons, it makes a big deal. I don't get that call very often. No, I love a call like that. She has options and she has time, which is And she's got saved it all. They live on nothing. Yeah. Pretty impressive.

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Go download the every dollar budget app for free in the App Store or Google Play. John is with us. John's in Atlanta. Hi, John. How are you? I'm good. How are you, Dave? Better than I deserve. What's up?

Um, well I'm twenty two years old. I'm graduating college in May and I wanna buy a car, but I'm not sure if I can afford it. Okay. All right. Well how much money do you have and how much do you want to spend on the car? So the car is about thirteen thousand dollars and I have about eleven thousand dollars in cash. Um but I do have some savings, some investments, about forty thousand, um as well as

You know, nine thousand in a Roth IRA. What do you buy? Um, so I'm gonna be graduating in three months and when I graduate I'll make about sixty five thousand dollars a year. Mm-hmm. Doing what? Um going into the wholesale insurance industry. Okay. And you've already secured that job? Yes. Okay, cool, cool, cool. I mean...

You're gonna be making sixty five, you're under our rule, um, and you're paying cash for it. Um, I don't necessarily have an issue with that. What's gonna be your living situation? Um, I'm just gonna keep living with my parents and maybe help them pay off the mortgage. Now that's the part that I have i issue with. Um, tell me about why you would continue to live there. I'm assuming you don't have any other debt.

Am I wrong? Um is because it's o they only live about thirty minutes from where I'll be working. Um and I'd rather start saving up money before getting a place of my own. Uh you may have cut out when I asked you about the debt. Do you have any other debt? I have no debt. You have no debt. So my for you know forty thousand dollars in savings. Uh-huh. Sixty-five thousand dollar income and a brand new car. Why'd you gotta live at home? This is your time to strike out.

Really, right after I graduate? Oh, absolutely. Yes, it's the best time. The most exciting time. Yeah. Oh wow, I'll bet. Yeah, girls are not as exactly attracted to guys who live in their mother's basement. See you. Wow, so it's true, you know. It's okay to pull money out of my investments, even though about half of it, twenty thousand, is capital gains. So I'm not going to be able to do that. So back go back to two thousand dollars.

Right, but what is the car you're wanting to buy? So it is a nineteen ninety nine Mercedes SL 500. No, I would not buy that car. Oh come on. No. And here's why. The car is absolutely stone called fabulous. I love the car. The maintenance on that car for a guy in your situation is absurd. Maintaining that old Mercedes is gonna cost you a freaking arm and one of your legs.

It's gonna it's gonna destroy you, man. You're gonna wish you had never seen that car. Let me tell you, it it's serious eye candy, though. I'm with you. It is an absolutely beautiful automobile. And it's a classic. I love what you're looking at. But dude, it's gonna cost you five, six thousand bucks a year to keep this stinking thing rolling. Can you tell I've owned a Mercedes or two?

Or six or twenty. I mean I've had a bunch of'em and there's a lot of cost to keep the thing rolling. Get you something that doesn't cost anything to maintain that is gonna be just as much fun. And that would be a newer model similar price range of something that doesn't require constant stinking maintenance. Okay.

That's that's an old man joke, man, but it's the truth. So we've just told you to do the two things not to do the two things that you called on here wanting to do, which is buy buy the Mercedes and live at your parents' house. What what are the what are the odds you do either one of'em, John?

I will. I will. Don't worry. Okay. All right. So yeah, I I think if you had a uh a fun car that was very highly reliable and requires almost no maintenance, that is thirteen to f or ten to fifteen thousand dollars and you pay cash for it. and you make a ninety day plan to move out from mom and dad after you get started in your job and you're actually making the sixty five K, I think that's a great plan and that's what I would tell my own son to do.

Okay. Buy something that doesn't require maintenance. Man, I tell you that's a great car though. I I don't know anything about the car. I just googled it to see what it looked like. Yeah. Classic. It was classic. It's a good old looking Merc good looking old Mercedes and it's great, but they just It doesn't matter. Every time I take the thing to shop it's just a dead gun. It's unbelievable. And so they are not easy to maintain.

They're not cheap to maintain. It's a and and the the fact that y you buy a cheap car but then you're having a s high maintenance bill. Right. If you're gonna buy a cheap car then get something that doesn't have a high h have to you work on all the time. Yeah. Let's talk about real quick this uh living at home business. He was the stark opposite of Alvaro who did his debts free scream on Friday. Okay. So uh Alvaro graduated from college, similar age.

and lived at home, made his parents a deal and said, Can I live at home debt free for me to pay off I think it was seventy or ninety thousand dollars of student loans. Mm-hmm.'Cause he'd done the math and said, If I pay interest, if I do this it's gonna take too long And he said, And after a year, if I'm not working hard enough, you can charge me double rent. And so a year passed, they saw he was working very hard. He ended up paying off all the student loans.

Did his debt free screen. Perfect example of saying, I'm gonna graduate, I'm gonna live at home for a s short period of time in order to win. Clean up the mesh. Very clean. What my guy John wanted to do is pile up cash. Is pile up cash. And I I personally

Wouldn't do that unless you have debt to pay off. But just to sit at home and just stack up money at such a key point in life when it's time for you to go out and be your own person, I just wouldn't do it. I think it's more uh detriment than good at that point.

Yeah, the That's just my personal opinion. You're you're trying to look at this only through the lens of money and there's social development, there's career development, there's confidence, um, there's everything else involved. So Each one of our kids, we love them dearly and they were more than welcome to stay in our home.

Forever, except it wasn't good for them. Yeah. And so uh we helped them make arrangements within a month or two of graduation to be on their own. And when you pay your own light bill, you make your own bed, you buy your own milk. Now you're an adult. Your mommy's not cleaning your underwear. I mean it's time. You know, and honestly you're more attractive to employers because you walk different.

You're more attractive to the opposite sex because you walk different. You have the l shoulders thrown back, a little confidence, a little swagger, like I got this thing. from having the dignity of being on your own. And we've got a large percentage of you parents out there who are encouraging your children to not develop into adults.

Because you got a whole bunch of twenty six year olds living in mommy's basement. And they've all got an opinion about capitalism with their eleven hundred dollar Apple phone, which is more than just humorously stupid, as well. So the uh you know, it changes everything. It changes everything. When you start It's on me. There's no bread in the cabinet because I didn't buy bread. It's on me. And it changes everything. I think so. And and I I we're we're hurting this generation by

Not allowing them to do some hard things. Yeah. Yeah. And I mean, no shade on John. Like he's done a great job. He, you know, came out of college with no debt. He's got money saved. All of those good things. But That's also understanding you're in a great position to be on your own. It's okay. This is why you do this. This is good. Yeah, I left with a dollar twelve in my checking account. So

That's that's how hillbillies do it, I'm just saying. But yeah. When I moved out Get out. When I moved out of my parents' house, I moved into a friend's apartment that already had two roommates, so I had a futon in the living room. Oh. And that's all I had. But I wanted to get out. I was ready. Hello, Networth. When your net worth is That's all I had. It was not comfortable. 10 out of 10 wouldn't recommend.

Today's question of the day is brought to you by Why ReFi if defaulted Student loans are wrecking your budget, it's time to deal with them. Why ReFi helps you refinance defaulted private student loans with a low fixed rate payment based on your ability to pay? So you can stick to the budget, work a plan, get out of debt. Go to yrefi.com slash ramsey. That's the letter Y R E F Y dot com slash Ramsey might not be in all states. All right, today's question comes from Mason in New Hampshire.

He says, I bought a house about five years ago. My name is on the deed, and my dad co-signed so I could get a lower interest rate. Now my dad is pressuring me to refinance to get his name off the loan. I'm not behind on payments. Am I legally obligated to do this? I don't think I should have to refinance because he made the choice to sign for me. Uh I like this question. Are you legally obligated? No, you're not legally obligated. My guess is

your dad is trying to do something else financially. Maybe he's I don't know, who knows? Maybe he's trying to buy a house. But he's got a lot of this debt tied to his name. Or maybe he realized co-signing is really a stupid, stupid act. And he's trying to make that right. I don't know what you guys is uh conversations have been like. But if I were in your shoes, Mason, um my guess is one of two things is taking place. Number one

If you've looked at refinancing to get his name off and you've realized you cannot afford the loan on your own, that might be something that's keeping you from doing this. Um and if that's the case. I if you paid the bill for five years and you paid it on time, refinancing should not be a problem. It shouldn't be. The call the cost to refinance, maybe your dad wants to chip in some of that to get them get his name off the line.

And um so My guess is it's an interest rate thing. Uh no, my guess is he just didn't want to fool with it and he thought this was a forever deal. So here's the bottom line, Mason. What you all did was stupid. He should not have done this because at the moment he was trying to help his kid get a house. But there was no end to the deal, in your mind. In his mind, he wants to get off of it now.

And you're just like, Well, he could stay on there forever and screw up his life forever,'cause he can't buy nothing else as long as his name is on this. This isn't a liability in his name. So he's he's gonna have trouble getting a mortgage himself is the problem. Or refinancing his mortgage is a problem. Anything like that. He can't do anything, he's stuck. So it was a stupid idea and now you guys are tied at the hip and it's not bothering you at all.

So it yeah. Be y yes you should refinance this on a moral basis. Not on a legal basis. If at all possible I'd figure out a way to refinance it. And if I was your dad and I wanted off this loan, I'd pay the closing costs so to get to get rid of the thing. Yeah. And uh help you guys get it done and get the deal done. So Here's the thing, folks, if someone can't afford to buy the property or buy the item without a cosigner, it's going to be a pinch later.

The banks they love to loan money more than they love to breathe. And if they won't loan you money without a cosigner, it's because you're not eligible. Hello. They would love to give you money and rip you off in any w possible way they can. And then parents come along and go, Oh, I'll help you get screwed. You know, that's just dumb.

And and dads and moms, you're not hip you're not a blessing to your child when you do this. You're helping them step into a bear trap, going, step right here, son, this is how it's done. Well, that's dumb. Okay? Don't do this. And'cause you get in these situations is what happens. Worse than this situation is yeah where the guy's not paying the bill. We get that one all the time. Exactly. Oh my grand my grandmother my grandmother's co signed for my car and it's forty two percent interest.

And now my granny's about to get screwed because I'm gonna get repoed. A hundred percent of these deals go bad. Of course it goes bad. So please, please, please do not cosign. It's in the Bible, Proverbs seventeen, eighteen. One lacking in sense, cosigns for another. It's what the Bible says. So you're lacking in sense when you do this. I have co-signed back in my other earlier days, and I got to pay the bill almost every time. Oof. One fool co-signed for me, and then I went broke.

And he ended up paying the bill. Oh man. Had to go back and pay him back later. His wife's still not happy with me thirty years later, because we were fools. Signing up for a bunch of crap that we thought was gonna work out that everybody else knew wasn't gonna work out. Carson is in Cincinnati. Hey Carson, how are you?

Good. Hey Dave. Thanks for taking my call. Sure. What's up? Okay. So my wife and my stepson, they live separate from me. They're German citizens and they're waiting to get their visas approved so they can live here with me. But that is expected to take anywhere between one to two years from now. Are they in Germany? They are, yes, sir. Okay. So my question is

How should I be prioritizing my time alone? And what debts should I be focusing on to make sure that my family is set up for success when they get here? And how long have you been married? Uh September. Mm. Cool. And how'd you meet? I was stationed over there in the army. Thank you for your service. Okay. Thank you. So if you get married, I d I don't know how this stuff works. I'm ignorant about it. It takes two years. To get a foreign citizen wife on site?

Well, uh if we had gotten married while I was still in the army it would have been a lot quicker, but we decided to get married after I got out and the current administration has been very fluid with immigration. So that was the update I received was twelve to twenty four months. Shoot. Okay. I I'm gonna keep getting updates and I'm gonna keep uh learning if I'm you because that's an unacceptable answer as far as I'm concerned. But the um

'Cause the current administration has not got a war going with people coming here legally. It's the ones coming here illegally. And so they're not trying to put a block on immigration in general. That's not that's not the spirit of what's happening out there right now. Uh I was with some customs guys yesterday. So anyway.

I don't know anything about the law on that or the regulations today, but I'm gonna keep pushing if I'm mute. Answer to your question is, well get out of debt as fast as you can, as much as you can, and p stack as much cash as you can, right? Right. Okay. So I got the numbers and I'll share them with you. Okay. Tell us. Okay. So my net income, I receive fifty two hundred dollars a month for my job.

And I receive compensation from the VA for injuries. That is twenty three hundred dollars a month. On top of the fifty two. Yes, for a total of seventy five hundred dollars net per month. Good. Okay. the debts that I have. I have a mortgage for a house that I bought for one hundred and fifty three thousand. I have a hundred and forty remaining on the mortgage. Uh I have twenty six thousand in home renovations on a loan that I've got and thirteen thousand dollars in student loans.

And forty three hundred dollars in credit card debt. Okay. Cut up the credit cards, let's get on a tight budget, pay'em off as fast as you can, then pay off the student loan. You oughta be able to do that pretty quick if it's just you. Are you sending money to Germany? I am. A portion of my check is going over there to her to support her while we wait. How was she s how was she being supported before you got married?

So she still works a job right now. Uh she has just moved out of her apartment to her mother's house to get ready for when we do get the green light for the visa to move over here. Does she have any debt or anything uh that we need to take note of? She has a six thousand dollar loan on the car remaining. I've offered to pay that off for her, but she has elected not to. Is she

She has a sense of dut duty to pay it off. She feels it was her m loan, she wants to pay it off herself. Well here's the thing. I I know that you guys are living separately, but you are married, so there's really no reason to not uh attack this together and work on this together. So I I mean if the six thousand dollar car loan is the only thing, even if it wasn't

I would still stack this into a debt snowball. Yep. And I would still Combine you guys' margin together and all of your monies together and whatever the margin you both have together. goes at the smallest debt, which in this case still is the credit. That's true. She there should be more market. And so you shouldn't be having to send money and use it to clean up

Up debt. What I would do. But hey, it sounds like you gotta got it on the run though. List your debts, smallest to largest, attack'em in that order, dude.

Welcome back to the Ramsey show. Wins Credit Union Studios. I'm Dave Ramsey, your host, Jade Washaw. Ramsey Personality is my co-host, number one best-selling author. Hey Kerry, what's up? Hi, longtime listener, big fan. I'd like to thank you very much because I'm finally to baby step four. Yeah, way to go.

Um, I am fifty one years old. Well, gonna be fifty one years old this year. Um, I have not invested anything. I was widowed very young. Um, I just spent the last seventeen years trying to survive and raise my two kids. Um like I said, I just got to baby step four. I have about twenty thousand put away into savings. Good. Um, I have nothing left but my house, which I have about ninety thousand on, and I am about six years into a fifteen year mortgage on that. Phenomenal.

Roughly around sixty four thousand a year. It is a little bit variable because I'm in business for myself. Um, so I'm a housekeeper. So there are times that people cancel on me. So um but for the most part my income is right around fifty five hundred a month. Good for you. Well done. Um My question is is never investing, never having any type of retirement or anything, where do I start to invest, especially with

the market being volatile and having no financial education on how to invest money at this point. Okay. That's a really, really good question. I love your question. Also Do I invest more than fifteen percent at this point because I have a little bit of cash fluidity? Nope. You put it on the house. Okay. Let's get the house paid off above fifteen percent. Maybe steps four, five, and six work together. Um sit down with a Smart Vestor Pro. Click Smart Vestor Pro at ramseysolutions.com.

Their job is not to do it for you. Their job is to teach you and say, here's how a mutual fund works. Here's what it is. Here's how stable this type of fund is. Here's how volatile this other type of fund is. And here's what we can do with a Roth IRA for you and probably a you got employees? No, I am slow proprietor and work. Okay, then uh you can look at a uh a simple IRA as well, or a simplified pinching plan, either one. We can do Roth in all of them.

So you can easily get to fifteen percent of your income going in. You'll be just easy to do that. in your situation. Start with just a Roth and then if you have to do a little bit more in an S C P a simplified employee pension plan. It's easy to do and they're very easy to set up. They're very inexpensive to set up. Not a lot of fees.

and then just start putting a systematically fifteen percent of your income away. If you never get a raise and you do that for the next fifteen years, you're gonna retire with dignity. Thank you, because that has been a huge worry of mine. No. Not anymore. Not when you learn the math. Okay. So one of the things you do when you sit down with them and you say, Okay, what's fifteen percent?

Of sixty five thousand. All right. So quickly we're gonna figure out that that is ten thousand dollars. Okay. It's about eight hundred and fifty bucks a month. And you start doing that and you do that for fifteen years, you're gonna have A bazillion freaking dollars, hundreds of thousands of dollars. I can't do it in my head right now, but it's you're gonna have plenty, okay? And uh you can actually look at the calculator on the Ramsey website and it'll help you figure that out too. But um

You just steadily invest and we're not gonna wring our hands and worry about the market being volatile because the market is up, the market is down, but you don't lose all your money. It just makes a little more, it makes a little less. That's all it is. It's like some years houses go up but more in value th and some years they don't, right?

Right. But they're still a good investment. They're volatile, but there's a good investment. Not very volatile, but they're volatile. They do go up and down. There's not a guarantee. But you're counting on the track record of real estate. It's always going up. Some years more than others. Some years may be down a little, but most of the time it goes up. A good mutual fund or series of mutual funds in your

Roth IRA will do the same thing and you'll have plenty. You're gonna be okay. But you need to learn about all of that. And to where because what happens is your anxiety about the markets, your anxiety about investing and not knowing goes away the more you do know. Absolutely.'Cause right now I am completely bound by fear'cause I I don't know anything. And it's just it's taken me so far just to get to this point. And what that fear should do is drive you to learn. not drive you to not do it.

Right. And that's where I've been hesitant. Exactly. So that that's normal. There's two there's two kinds of fear's two kinds of fear. There's two kinds of fear. Fear that helps us avoid touching a hot stove, good fear. fear that keeps us that's false evidence appearing real. It's just something we don't know about it. We're teaching our child to ride a bicycle. They're afraid, but you and I know they're gonna be okay.

They may fall over, scratch their little knee, but they're gonna be okay and they're gonna have hours and hours and hours and years of enjoyment of riding a bicycle. So we put them to push them through the false evidence appearing real. They're not going to die. They're going to fall over. Oops.

Okay? And so you learn that this is that's what this is. You're learning to ride a bike. You're not gonna have a any scratched knees, by the way, but you are going to have the fear of the unknown, which is different than the fear of the hot stove. Okay. You can do this. If I were in your shoes I would start with Reading.

And Ramsey Solutions has wonderful articles that are very easy to read and comprehend and understand. And I would start there. And if a word pops up that you're like, what do they mean by that? I would look up the definition and I would just go down that rabbit trail and and learn more and more and more.

and do that regularly and after a while the words that used to sound scary and big and you don't know what that means that goes away. And you start to understand it more. And that way when you do go to meet with your smart vestor You're gonna understand what they're talking about and it's not gonna feel like they're up here and you're down here. But their job is to put the cookies on a shelf where you can reach'em.

That's their job is to make this easy. Make it easy to understand. And if it's not easy to understand, get you a different person. Don't use that person. Correct. Um, are there any books that you would also recommend? Um Baby Steps Millionaires. Okay. Matter of fact, we'll give it to you. Okay. Hang on, I'm we'll we'll sign you up for that. Yeah, just check Smart Vester Pro at ramseysolutions dot com and sit down. You're looking for financial people with the heart of a teacher.

Too many people around numbers think they need to sound like Charlie Brown's teacher. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. I have no idea what the freak they said, right? So no. You want somebody that talks in a in a language that you can understand and they teach you this is how this works. And here's a mutual fund that's been open a hundred years.

Here's a mutual fund that's been open ninety years. It's had four down years in the last twenty seven years. Yeah. And you can look at the chart and go, Oh, look at that. The stinging thing made money twenty four out of twenty seven years. Okay. I g that gives me a comfort level. That's an actual fun, by the way. Okay. So

You can look at these things and get a handle on that a and then you go, Oh, okay, well then maybe it's not as scary. Ooh, the markets and everybody lost all their money. No, they didn't. They lose some cause they buy high and sell low because they freak out and don't watch what's going on. So That's the difference. So you're gonna do really, really good. You're gonna end up wealthy and you deserve to be. You've worked hard, you've been a warrior single mom. Very good. A warrior princess.

cleaning houses to raise those kids and now you're gonna retire with dignity. I'm so proud of you. Hey guys, Dave Ramsey here. Every day on this show we help people work through real money problems and figure out what to do next. Now, you can get that same kind of help anytime with Ask Ramsey. Ask your money question and get answers built on Ramsey principles we use on the show. Whether you're making a decision or just want something explained, Ask Ramsey is here to help.

It's fast, simple, and free to use. Go to ramzysolutions.com and try Ask Ramsey today. That's ramsysolutions.com.

Greg is in Nashville. Hey Greg, how are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? So um I have some whole life policies that me and my wife got like when we were like twenty. I'm fifty I'll be fifty five this year. I'm sorry. And I I know, I know. I've heard I've been listening to you for the last year or so. But my question is on it, should we cash surrender?

those uh there's each about a hundred thousand cash surrender. I don't think we have to pay on anymore. I think they've we've had'em since we were so young. that uh I think they pay for themselves each year now. Yeah. And uh I don't know if it's worth I don't necessarily need uh I mean I could always use extra money but

Um I don't know if it's worth doing the cash surrender on those policies or just leaving them. They're small. I think they're one hundred and fifty thousand dollar policies or something like that when we got'em originally. Okay, so you have a hundred fifty thousand dollar policy with a hundred thousand dollar cash value. Is that right? And you and you have two uh and you have two uh stuff when you're young. No, I'm I'm gonna make sure I understand what you've got. Stop a second.

Do you have two$150,000 policies and each of them have a hundred thousand dollar cash value in them? Yes, if we were to surrender them now. That's what I'm asking. Okay, good. Okay. And so if you die, you know they keep the hundred thousand, right? So you have fifty thousand dollars worth of insurance in essence. Do you follow me? Yeah, that I kinda heard that the other day on one of your shows and I that I didn't understand.

I don't understand it either'cause it's the biggest screwdrop of the middle class in my life I've ever seen. But it happens all the time. So that's how a whole life policy works. Okay. So you're covered if you die, right? You don't need them. Yeah. No. And and my question is even about the term too is Like, do I need to keep that up if my value or like my personal value or me, my wife's uh value is over that amount? Should I like do I need that life insurance or is it just

Well keeping in that. What life insurance is for is to take care of her if something happens to you. If you have five million dollars in mutual funds, you don't need life insurance. She's taken care of. Okay. Yes. What how life insurance for is to take care of you if something happens to her. And if you have a big pile of m money.

and you're okay without her income, then she doesn't need you're self insured on all of it. Okay? Then back to the whole life, the whole life is paying an average of about two percent in growth on that hundred thousand. Had that hundred thousand been in mutual funds last year, it would have made twenty four percent. Uh on average it would have made more like twelve percent. So you're losing somewhere around ten to twenty thousand dollars a year.

in growth because that's so poorly invested. Oh, and by the way, when you die, they're gonna pay$150,000 out. Okay. Not a hundred thousand. Do I have to pay t if we do the cash surrender, do we have to pay tax on that? Your tax basis in a whole life policy is what you have paid into it. over all these years. I suspect you've paid a hundred thousand dollars into this over all these years. Uh if it's not it won't be by much. So you if you have taxes it'll be very, very, very small.

But you're if you just say, here's what my premiums were over this number of years and number of months or whatever it is, the you know, the twenty five or thirty years you've been getting ripped off, then easily you probably paid in a hundred K. You're gonna get your money back out. And yes, I would cash it in. And if what did you th what do you think your net worth is?

Mm I mean I think it's close to six m maybe. I mean if I were to sell everything. Yeah, if I were to sell everything. So do you think the the current asset base would generate enough income for your wife to be okay if you died today? I mean I think so. I hope so. I hope so too. Yeah. I think I think pretty easily that's I mean that was kinda one of my other questions is I got this I got some industrial property that I don't necessarily need anymore that I have.

that I still owe about I could cash that out for about Two million bucks maybe. Yeah. Uh after taxes. But I do make income on that. It's up to you. What do you want your money invested in? That's an investment. And then you look at it and say, Is this an investment that's given me enough yield on my money? I mean, long term investments you ought to be making ten plus percent on. Whatever it is, real estate, mutual funds, whatever.

There's not really anything else that you should that that's fairly low risk portfolio that'll do that. Mine make a lot more than that and I don't take a lot of risk. So but you gotta look at that piece of industrial property. Is it making you a good return? And then dump that. But um folks, the whole life cash value policy is the biggest ripoff in the financial planning world. Um Uh I mean it's like it's like the payday lender to the middle class.

You know, payday lender screws poor people, right? And these people screw you. And um it's a horrible rate of return. When you die they keep your money'cause you've been paying extra for this savings account that you don't get. They only pay the face value when you die. It's that simple. And so get some inexpensive term insurance while you need insurance. This guy doesn't even need that anymore, probably. Um

Put your money, your investment money in good investments that go up and they don't keep it when you die. And and then you're not building a building in the skyline for somebody else. Where you think those life insurance buildings came from? They didn't come from Santa Claus, I know that.

And you're just getting screwed over and over and over again. And it's just, you know, that's how this stuff happens. It's called a transfer of wealth from you to them. Because they're screwing you. And so you just learn about these things and you go, never again. Changes everything. James is in Columbus, Ohio. Hi James. How are you?

Doing well. How are you? Better than I deserve. What's up? Okay, um I have a my youngest sister, she and her ex boyfriend inherited a quarter million dollars about three to four years ago. Um He has since passed from cancer and he um at the time I was going through a messy divorce. And he gave me six thousand dollars to pay for my lawyer so I can take care of my divorce. I was going through a rough time um as a gift.

And since then, you know, he's passed on like I said, and she has blown through all that money Um in the meantime and and is back to square one again. Wow. And Yeah. And she has not come out and said directly to me, but I heard it through my um other sister. And she keeps asking, you know, saying, Hey, he needs to pay me back that six thousand dollars, you know, it's that's that was my money and So she's saying that he the boyfriend got the money from her?

And lent it to you? No. No, no. It was his his parents. It was his inheritance from his parents. Oh, okay. Yeah, and and I can afford to pay it back. Now I've been I'm in a good spot um in my life and I can afford to to to pay it back. I just don't feel like yeah, I have to I I've helped her out with bills and stuff now that she's nearly have a lot of money.

Like the you know, the occasional electric bill, things like that where she's you know's called me up and said, Hey, can you know I've I've done stuff like that whole are a hot mess, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah, right. Are you are you afraid that she's gonna do you're just afraid you're like, why do I give her another six thousand dollars to be irresponsible with, is what you're saying. that and you know she has three kids with them. They're they're a little older. They're um seventeen, eighteen

In that range, but uh Well I mean there's there's James there's two options. Okay. The third option is not keep whining about it. Okay. I would either call her and say, Your boyfriend gave me this money, it's a gift, I'm not gonna pay it back. Or I'd router a check. But third option I'm gonna keep whining about this and y'all keep this family drama going on and on and on and who said what and who told George this and good lord for six thousand dollars straighten it up man

All right, let's cut to the chase. It's easy to get discouraged about crazy house prices and interest rates. But when you have the right real estate agent to help you buy and sell the right way, you'll have confidence to make smart decisions. Ramsey trusted agents aren't just experts who guide you through buying or selling. They're people you can trust

To have your back from the first call to closing day. Find a Ramsey trusted agent near you at Ramseysolutions.com slash agent. That's Ramseysolutions.com slash agent.

On the debt-free stage in the lobby of Ramsey Solutions, Chevy and Caitlin are with us. Hey guys, how are ya? Great, how are you? Better than I deserve. Welcome. Where do y'all live? Court in Indiana. Okay, cool. And what's that near? Louisville, Kentucky. Okay. All right. That works. Works for me. Perfect. How much debt have y'all paid off?

We've paid off ninety five thousand in thirty four months. Good for you. Way to go. And your range of income during that three years? Started at one hundred and thirteen thousand and ended about one hundred and fifty six. Good for you. What do y'all do for a living?

I'm a assistant nurse manager in a NICU in Louisville, Kentucky. Fun, good for you. I'm an executive director of a maintenance facility at a trucking company. There you go. Good, good, good. What kind of debt was the ninety five thousand? Our mortgage. You paid off your house. Look at the weird people. I love it. Way to go, you guys. What's the house worth?

Uh just under five hundred thousand. Very cool. Very cool. And you all been investing in retirement, I assume? Yes. How much are your nested eggs? Uh we're up to One thirty uh between the three. Like one thirty per account for three accounts pretty much. Okay, so you're getting close to a million dollar net worth. Yeah, net worth we figured it up on the drive down uh just a hair over nine hundred thousand. Yeah, almost I blinking you're gonna be millionaires. How old are you two? Thirty four.

And thirty six. Boom boom boom. Baby steps millionaires almost in a paid for house and not even thirty five years old. Way to go. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Okay, so what started this whole journey doing this crazy Ramsey stuff that made you millionaires? Uh so Chevy did actually um Right around the time that we got engaged, he came home and said,

I think I wanna do this program and I kinda looked at him like he had six heads. I was like, I I don't know what you're talking about right now. Uh so we used it as a premarital counseling kind of thing. Um, started our individual snowballs back in twenty seventeen. And then when we got married we combined our debt. Um so we actually entered baby step seven for the first time in twenty twenty, right around the time that COVID was shutting everything down. Uh-huh. Um after that we

started a family and decided to upgrade our house so we was able to take a hundred percent of that house we had paid off and kinda move forward to the current house we have now. So we only had ninety five thousand dollars in the Mortgage when we bought our house in December of twenty two. Okay. So a huge down payment from the other one. Yes. And then had to knock that out quickly. Right. Yeah. That's exciting. Good for you. Way to go, y'all. Thank you. Thank you. How does it feel to be this

free at this age. Uh pretty great. It's awesome. You know, the grass definitely feels different underneath your feet when you step outside after the last house payment. Absolutely. Will you ever do it again? Go back in debt. No, it's not worth it. Next time we'll save up to move up.

Yeah, we're pretty happy with our house right now. I love it. I gotta believe that it it played a big part in what house you selected to. Kind of knowing the feeling of dead and not wanting to experience too much of that. Yeah, definitely did. And it really worked out. I mean, uh when we hit baby step seven Uh in

twenty twenty when we paid off our house, it was shortly after that we lost our child, our first uh born at eighteen months. Oh. Eighteen weeks. We lost a little girl, um, Ellison at eighteen weeks and because we were in baby step seven, I was able to really

step back from work and take some time off to get myself right before we moved forward in our lives and that's kinda when we decided like we're gonna do things a little different from here on out and we're so incredibly thankful we started F P when we did, or else I really don't know what

we would have ended up in that situation, I wouldn't have been able to take that time off of work and really heal ourselves before moving forward. You just never really know what life's gonna throw at you and I think FBU really sets you up to be able to handle anything like that. Wow. Wow. Such a heartbreak. And to have the um have built a life that allowed you the luxury to step back and have a moment to heal from the most devastating possible thing that can happen. Wow. Amazing. Wow.

Very cool. And you got kiddos too. We do. We have three. Um Two boys and a little girl. They're four, two, and eight months. Oh, handful. Okay. We were hoping to get through this, uh the ninety five thousand a little quicker, but you know, having three kids born in that timeline. It was slowed us down a little bit. Just a little. Just a little. But it it was awesome, you know, being able to cash flow, saving up for each child. Yeah. You know, on top of paying, you know, the mortgage down too.

So you guys have been through this in a in a sense a couple of times. Yeah. Um and so what do you tell people the secret to getting out of debt and be almost millionaires by the time you're thirty five? Uh definitely communication. We still have budget meetings at the first of every month. We kinda walk through what we want to do that month, if there's any big adjustments coming up.

Um, but there's definitely months that I've struggled staying on task a little more and months he's struggled staying on task a little more. So communication and definitely just lifting each other up when the other person's struggling. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What are you gonna do to celebrate? Uh We got a few little projects around the house we wanna do and then definitely travel some more. We definitely like getting the kids out and showing them all the different things the world has to offer.

Yeah, we just got back from New York City last weekend. We got caught in the blizzard. Oh gosh. That was a blast, yeah. Yeah, it was crazy. Man, get caught up there with babies, that'd be great. Oh, it's just like really. Mommy daddy trip that time. First trip out of the house without all three of'em and got stuck in a blizzard. Still takes the edge off of it. But oh my gosh. Wow. Wow. Wow. Well good for you guys. Congratulations. We're very, very proud of you.

Do you have people encouraging you along the way or thought you were crazy? Uh a little bit of both. Yeah. They our families are definitely encouraged us along the way, kind of side eyeing us the whole time like uh you guys are still a little crazy but we're gonna support you in what you're gonna do, so We definitely couldn't have done it without our family support. They were definitely after us because I was selling everything I could find in the house left and right on eBay and Facebook.

Well I was gonna say, did you tell'em you were doing it or did they start noticing uh you know, crazy behaviors? Yeah, it got to the point they were afraid to gift us something if we didn't actually want it or need it, because it would probably be up on eBay or Facebook. Wow.

I would have given you something for Christmas, but you'd have sold it. Yeah, pretty much. We we actually heard that several times. That's funny that's funny. Well, way to go, y'all. Did you bring the kettles with you? Uh yeah, they're here. All right, let's bring them up and introduce them for the debt free scream.

This is Nas. This is a reason to change your family tree right here. This is Finn and this is Townsend. All right. Well you guys have got mom and dads that are heroes. They've taken care of you. They set you up for a incredible life. That way. Yeah, you guys are in in great, great shape. Well so proud of you guys. Congratulations. Thank you. Chevy and Caitlin from Indiana, ninety five thousand paid off in thirty four months, making one thirteen to one

56 house and everything. We're looking at weird people. Count it down. Let's hear a debt-free scream. Right boys? Three, two, one. We dead. I like it. That's great. I love it. I love it. Yeah. And then I read the articles of the um Millennials and the Gen Zs that can't get ahead and can't afford a house, but these guys figured out

on a hundred and fifty six thousand dollar income to not only have a paid for home, have three children and have a net worth approaching a million dollars very quickly. Wow. Not even thirty five years old. So um I don't know. It just it confuses me that it can't be done and yet it's done every day here. Sounds like a combination of will and location. Will, location, and income. Yeah.

And and those are all tied together by the way. Choose your location and you can choose your will and you can choose to affect your income in a lot of ways. That's right. So yeah, but um We talk to people that make twice that and think they can't afford a house. That's absolutely true.

Th that housing prices are just out of reach for American couples today. You can't buy house affordability issues. We have affordability issues. I wish the president would wave a wand and make it all go away. I wish mommy and daddy would make me not make me be an adult.

But yeah, the math still is there and these people just did it. Well, earlier we talked to the folks that made a hundred and fifty thousand a year and they were saving up they were almost there to buy it in cash. Four hundred thousand dollar house. Yeah, they were in Arkansas. Yeah, I remember. Yeah.

Now they were li I don't know what they how they were doing that. They were living on That was even beyond that. Wow. They were living on that. Crazy. But uh it absolutely works. So Chevy and Caitlin have uh become heroes for Finn, Nash, and Townsend. They Those little babies, they're beautiful. Their lives have been changing, they don't even know it yet.

Pretty crazy. And they go through a tragedy to to put to boot in the middle of the thing. So just absolutely amazing. Yeah, it's never a straight line, but there's a line. There's a line. Way to go you guys.

When people hear my story of paying off debt, they say things like, dang, that must have been so hard. I can never do that. And I tell them, sure you can. It's a short term sacrifice for a long term gain. But do you know what's really hard? Working your whole life and never having anything to show for it. Never having the long term gain. Just feeling broke and stressed and maxed all the time.

And sadly, that's the hard that most people choose. Listen, you're capable of transforming your situation and living a life of freedom, but you need the right tools to do it, like our every dollar budget app. In minutes, it'll build you a step-by-step plan that's tailored to your money situation. And every day, it finds ways you can free up extra money in your budget so you can get rid of your debt and actually build wealth.

So make the choice today, short-term sacrifice, long-term gain. Choose the tool to help you get it done fast. Download the Every Dollar app and start for free today. Our scripture of the day, Nahum 1 7, The Lord is good, a refuge in times of trouble. He cares for those who trust in him. Simon Sinek said, It is a luxury to put our interests first. It is an honor to put the interests of others before our own.

Buying or selling your home is a big deal and with all the clickbait headlines and conflicting data out there, it's hard to know what to do late do next. Uh we're here to make the latest trends easy to understand. Median home prices dipped a little below four hundred thousand last month, which is typical for this time of year. Mortgage rates are sitting at about five point four four in January. down uh from six point two seven last January.

Giving buyers some breathing room. We're starting to see some movement in the market. To learn more about the housing market trends and get free tools to help you buy or sell with confidence. Go to Ramseysolutions dot com slash market or click the link in the show notes if you're listening on the podcast or YouTube. Joshua's in Los Angeles. Hey Joshua, how are you?

Hey Dave, I'm doing good, I'm doing good. It has been uh let me say about two or three years since I've been trying to get on the radio and I am truly glad that it is you and Jade. Um, obviously everybody else on the show is amazing but I I needed some tough love from Dave today. Um, so I've made some mistakes, um, financially. I've let's see.

At the beginning of two thousand twenty five I purchased a uh Toyota Corolla. I purchased it out, I went to a credit union, um, and the total amount was about thirty thousand. And then At the end of la of this previous year I got a truck. Um I know not smart. Um, so I'm in a hole that I am uh regretting digging and so I've been trying to uh dig myself out but I keep on running into roadblocks. No, you keep jumping from hole to hole is part of it, right? Yeah.

Okay. So w what do you owe on the truck? So I owe on the truck forty six. Oh boy. Um and then I Let's see. I have a personal loan for uh eight thousand and then I have um probably about a couple thousand with the credit cards and then I want to pursue higher education and that's gonna cost about forty thousand at um Grand Canyon University for pursuing um What is it called? My LPC license. Yeah. That's off the table. You get this mess cleaned up.

You got a forty thousand dollar problem, we don't need to create another one. Exact. Yeah, I know. And I call it uh so I make currently about fifty six a year. Okay. Um I've been very work I've been working very diligently to find more income. Um And so I have an opportunity to work for a previous employer and make about an extra like twelve to fifteen uh extra year. Good. Um and so I'm thinking like I'm thinking that that would solve This issue of the five years. What's the truck worth?

The truck is worth forty two. Well that's not Okay, so you need four th you need four thousand dollars and you can sell the truck, right? Right. Well let's get rid of that thing. Yeah. How quickly could you save up the difference? Four thousand bucks. I would I'd probably say like realistically, um, if I just make the minimum payment on my credit cards, it'd probably be like Maybe like three months? No. I want you going hard in the paint, working every hour you get.

To do this. Take the new job, get the income up, and you need to get rid of this truck in a month or so. Where do you live? What's your living situation? I currently live with my parents. Okay, you live so you don't even have rent to pay? No, I don't. Then this should go in so what?

If you if all this all you have is minimum payments, you have no rent, yeah. If you make your four thousand dollars from your current job and you go out and side hustle and kill it, that'd be my spending money on. Yeah. Car gas, insurance, and credit card minimums. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So Yeah, so yesterday, let's get rid of this truck. Right. The thing is you gotta decide you gotta decide if this truck is really as stupid as we have.

And once you decide that'cause I'm I'm really if I'm in your shoes, I'm really pissed about this truck. 'Cause it's standing between you and a good future. And so that means you gotta bu that means you gotta debust it and get rid of the stupid thing as fast as possible. It's a curse, it's not a blessing. Okay. And um Do you have any recommendations on how to? Like pri obviously like private cell. Yes. Um and then on top of that I've tried oh no. Never mind. That's a credit union.

But I tried purchasing it purchasing it outright. Um but that didn't um work. What do you mean? Um meaning I was g I went from I was gonna go from a lease to a purchase, but um Oh it's a lease So what's the payoff amount? Forty two. Or forty six. Forty six is worth forty two. So you're saying that you can't buy it out and then turn around and sell the car?

Yeah, you can. Okay. And so yeah, what you have to do is so y find someone, a dealer or a person that will write you a check for forty two. You have to add four to that check and buy out the lease. They hand you the title, you hand the buyer the title. And that's how the process goes down. You may need some help with that with a friend that's around car dealers.

But um, you know, with how to actually mechanically do the transaction in Los Angeles, California. But that's how the method works. You have to have all the money to pay off the lease to get the title. And then they hand you the title and your hand the title. In the meantime the car own the new buyer's driving it off a bill of sale. And that's how all transactions work. But it uh there's a few little nuances to how they'll go down in in different states.

and how the process works. And I'm not positive about California, but that's a concept that you're working off of, Joshua. The big deal is you've got to decide this thing has to go. Yes. Suzanne is in Albany, Georgia. Hey Suzanne, what's up?

Hi, I'm so glad I got through to y'all. I'm glad you did too. How are y'all doing today? Better than we deserve it. Well my husband I Um, well we have a question. My husband and I are both retired school teachers. Um, we bring in about n net about ninety five hundred dollars a month between our pension, social security and we both have part time jobs. Great.

Our house is paid for. Um it's worth about two four hundred and twenty five thousand. Great. Um we have about three hundred thousand in four oh one Ks and the fifteen thousand dollars in our raw. Now this is the question. Um, we have a car that we still owe ten thousand dollars on. And we also have a lot that we bought um about three years ago for us to build our retirement home on which we want to pay cash for because we want to sell The current house we're in.

All right, we build this house. And um we owe it's about fifty thousand dollars on that lot we have. And so we have that that's our only debt. It's t it's sixty thousand on the lot, we're paying seven point two five percent interest. And then the um car which is about three and a quarter percent interest. When are you gonna build a retire when are you gonna build a retirement home?

Um, we wanna start maybe um this fall. Okay, the the lot price the lot debt will roll up into the construction loan because the construction loan won't take a second mortgage position. They're gonna want a first mortgage position. So your construction loan is going to be plus the lot debt. Yes. So that that that that's going away and gonna roll up into your new mortgage. Okay. Our question was so in other words, I see what you're saying, but w which is what we were wondering.

Should we um take out the d the we you know, we can take out I wanna leave at least five in that Roth, but could we take out ten thousand in the Roth? We wouldn't pay any penalties, pay off the um car with that. And then my husband was thinking about taking

the sixty thousand dollars out of his four oh one you wouldn't have to pay forty five percent tax. You can pay it off so fast with just your income. You make nine thousand dollars a month, pay off the stinking car. That was the question. That was the question. That was my third Yeah, pay off the car and then roll the roll the other thing up into the morg up into the thing and then when your house sells it pays off the retirement house, right?

Yes. Okay. So you'll be debt free with never having touched never having touched your retirement. And that's exactly what I would do. Yeah, just be careful not to overspend on the retirement house. House. Yeah. Keep that down under the value of yours. That puts us hour the Ramsey show in the books. We'll be back with you before you know it. In the meantime, remember there's ultimately only one way to financial peace, and that's to walk daily with the Prince of Peace, Christ Jesus.