Ep 222: Intentionally Direct Your Day (So The Situations that Arise, Don’t)

I'm Carla Hudson , brand strategist , entrepreneur and life coach . Whether you're on the corporate or entrepreneur track , or maybe both , decades of experience has taught me that creating success happens from the inside out . It's about having the clarity , self-confidence and unstoppable belief to go after and get everything you want .

If you'll come with me , I'll show you how Well . Hello , my friend . I hope you had an amazing week .

Today we're going to talk about something that is not only important because it is , but , I think , incredibly relevant to all of us living in the world today , given all of the political upheaval and trade wars and crazy going on between countries within country .

This podcast and what I'm going to talk about , which is going to make you feel , I think , more able to deal with it , it's very important to talk about right now . I know for me , I've long been a news junkie . I love it and I feel like that's been taken away from me . Use junkie I love it and I feel like that's been taken away from me .

It's something that I've had to edit out of my life and only take it in very short doses , because I'm just not aligned with what's going on and I can't change what's going on , but I can change how much attention I give to it and I can change what I do about it , from my own thoughts , my own decisions , things like that .

So this podcast today is not about politics , but it's going to help you deal with anything that's going on in your life . Maybe it's the loss of a job , maybe it's getting passed over for promotion , maybe it's the health of a loved one , maybe it's some sort of financial setback , maybe it's like with me . For you it's this geopolitical strife that's going on .

Whatever it is , this podcast will help because we are not in control of everything that happens in our life . All we can do is our best to make the best decisions , to choose who we vote for , to choose the job we think is best for us , to take the best care of ourselves .

But at the end of the day , there's a whole lot of things that are going to happen that don't align with that , and so we have to exercise the self-discipline and mental self-command to proactively direct our life and our day-to-day in the way that we think is going to allow us to show up our best , not only for ourself , but for our employer , for our family

and our communities right . So I think this episode is going to help .

If there's anything you're struggling with , this episode will give you perspective on , maybe a different way to start your day that's more intentional , that allows you to feel like in a world where sometimes things can feel a little out of control , to feel like you have a bit more control over your life maybe not everything , but your life , and that's the key .

We all need to feel that and I want you to feel

that and that's why I wanted to share this with you today . So enjoy this episode on intentionally directing your day .

Today I want to talk about how to bring your brain back to neutral , no matter what challenges are going on in your work or life , how to practice self-command when it comes to what you choose to think about you , about your possibilities , about your work , about the challenges going on all of it .

Because when it comes to making the most of life , I think most of us would agree that life is what we make of it . We know that we're all going to have challenges and most of us intuitively get that our attitude determines our altitude , or that we need to make lemonade from the lemons , or whatever cliche you want to use . But guess what ?

Very few of us know how to direct our thought life , how to think on purpose , not just occasionally , but every day , as often as possible throughout the day . And why is that ? It's because we're not taught this .

And when you stop to think about it , I think it's really interesting that very little of what we learn teaches us how to manage what actually equates to a very super powerful computer processor that is inside our head , our brain , right ? We have zero idea of how to consistently make our brain work for us instead of just being on autopilot .

And because of that , even the most disciplined personal development devotee will experience a hit or miss kind of life , right ? And your average person doesn't even know that their brain is theirs to direct and that the way they feel every day doesn't just happen , it's not random , it doesn't just happen because of what's going on around us .

It happens because of a thought that we're thinking . Most of the time , that thought is in our subconscious , so we're not even aware of it . Really it's just there , right ? And because it's just there , we think it's true , but really it's just a thought .

And that thought , if it doesn't serve us , might cause us to feel crappy or scared or sad or pissed off or angry , whatever . It's not the situation that's going on .

And here is where I want to pause for a minute and say that and I used to think the same way too , so I'm not judging , but this is the point where people who are new to this concept sometimes jump in and say but there's all these bad things that happen sickness , death , financial troubles , job loss and they say those things are just bad , and I can't tell

myself that they're good . And so I want to set the record straight yes , bad things happen , and the answer to the bad things is not to try to tell yourself that they're actually really a good thing , because , you know , the key is to realize that the human experience is always going to be part good and part bad , part what we want and part what we hate .

Right , and sometimes we have the ability to change bad to good , not to pretend that something tragic is something wonderful , but instead to have a different perspective on it , something that allows us to tap into some of the good that might be a part of that situation . I'll talk more about that in a minute .

So what I want you to know mostly is that today , I'm not going to talk about magical thinking . I'm not going to tell you to try to turn everything that happens to you into sunshine and daisies .

It's not realistic and it won't work anyway , but what I do want to talk about today is how to take charge of your thought life , how to decide , on purpose , what you want to think about the things that are going on in your life , how you want to think about you and your possibilities , how you want to think about the people in your life , how you want to

think about your job , how you want to think about your boss , how you want to think about anything , because that is the thing that you get to choose anything , because that is the thing that you get to choose . Right , it doesn't matter what's going on . You get to decide how you want to think about it .

I'm going to go more into this in a little bit , but most of us think , though , that the things that happen to us are just the way they are , and that , because of the way they are , we just feel the way we feel , and it's because of what's going on , like it's all a random thing that's caused by the situation that's going on in our life .

But what I want to talk about today is how to grab the mental steering wheel in your career , in life , how to navigate all the challenges that come up for you , and how to steer

your thoughts , emotions and actions in the direction that you want to go , that takes you toward the things that you want , instead of further away from what you want . And I'm calling this clearing out the mental mess . So let's dive in Now . You might be wondering why am I calling it the mental mess ?

And I call it that because , as humans , we all have a constantly running inner dialogue . Sometimes we're more aware of it than others , but it's that voice in our head , more aware of it than others , but it's that voice in our head , and I've shared before on this podcast .

But the truth is that neuroscientists say that we have about , on average , 60,000 thoughts a day . So , of course , with that many thoughts running in a constant stream , kind of like that ticker at the bottom of the 24 hour news channel , we are not always going to be aware of them . Sometimes we are , but I would say most of the time we're not .

And , honestly , as I've grown my coaching practice and as I've learned how to do my own daily self-coaching and I've worked with my own private life coach . Yes , life coaches have life coaches . I realize more and more every day that most people have almost zero awareness of what's actually going on in their head .

Even people who are really into self-development , even psychologists , even neuroscientists , even life coaches , will tell you that if they don't have a daily practice in self-coaching , some discipline that they follow , that gives them a constant awareness of what's going on in their head , they will very quickly lose touch with all the ways that their brain is actually

working against . Again , because we're not taught how the brain works , how thoughts and experiences are stored away and become repetitive patterns of thought . It's very easy to think that the thoughts that we have that just come up are just accurate interpretations of what is going on . But they're not .

They're really just a thought , probably coming from old things that got stored away . That's it , and you get to choose what you want to think about anything that's going on , even the saddest thing , even the scariest thing , even the most catastrophic thing . You don't have to accept what your brain serves up as the first option .

You can , if you think that that's what you want to think . But you can choose something different that you want to think instead . Like , for example , let's say that you think everything's humming along just fine at work and then , out of the blue , you get called into the boss's .

Say that you think everything's humming along just fine at work and then , out of the blue , you get called into the boss's office and you lose your job . Yes , that might be a very unexpected event , probably unwelcome , most likely scary , certain to cause all kinds of self-doubt about your future .

But having helped a lot of people through it my clients you get to decide what the job loss means . Does it mean a great opportunity to choose a new career path or does it mean you're doomed and that you're never going to find something better or as good ? Or let's take it to your personal life .

Let's say that you get some news that a loved one is very ill . I've gone through something similar and it's very sad . It is overwhelming sometimes On some days , given everything else that goes on in just regular life , it seems impossible to deal with and even to comprehend .

But because I've learned this practice , here's what I decided to do I decided to be grateful . Grateful for all the time that we did have and for the days that we were able to spend together , for everything that we experienced together and for how grateful I am that this person was in my life .

And while going through that , I chose to make some adjustments , on purpose , even though they weren't easy . I chose to adjust my own life and my own schedule so that I could be there to help care for my loved one in their final days . It doesn't mean it isn't sad . It is , and it felt really almost like too much sometimes .

Almost like too much sometimes , but because I decided what I wanted it to mean and basically , I decided what I wanted to do about it . It means that in the time that we had left together , I got to show up in the way that I want to . In the time that we had left , I wasn't focused on the unfairness or the sadness of it all .

Instead , I got to focus on what I could do to honor everything that we had . That's what I'm talking about . There's 7 billion people on the planet .

We're all going through a combination of the good and the bad , and the sad and the wonderful , and it's about life and the truth is that it rarely goes exactly as planned right , and when you throw career ambitions and corporate politics and money and bosses and health and all the people around you into that same pot of messy life stew , all the people around you

into that same pot of messy

life stew . It can at times feel too much , because the complexities happen when you least expect it . Right , everything will be humming along . You get the big job opportunity and then boom , your spouse loses their job . Or you get engaged and then boom , like me , a family member gets sick .

Or you get promoted and then boom , like me , a family member gets sick . Or you get promoted and then boom , your child needs more from you at home . Or maybe they get sick . And then what happens ?

If you're not careful , your brain kicks in and it's going to tell you that you can't deal with it , that it's too much , or that the bottom's fallen out your life . Or it tells you that your life is totally out of control . It tells you that nothing ever works out for you .

It tells you that you make bad decisions , or that you're a failure , that you're a loser , that you're not going to be okay . Sometimes it'll tell you all those things at once . That's why I call it the mental mess I know , when I found out about my family member's illness , I thought wait , what I mean ?

I even , I think , said to my brother no , why didn't this happen a month ago , before I changed jobs ? Why is this happening right now ? It's not fair . I can't be there when I need to be . I don't have the same flexibility I had . I can't be there . It's too far away . How am I going to do this ? I said all that stuff .

That's what I call the mental mess Overwhelm , fear , uncertainty , sadness , anger , confusion all mixed together in a toxic little stew For you . Maybe it's mostly about an overactive inner critic that tells you you never get things right and it's just constantly there running in the background .

Or maybe it's about an inner perfectionist that tells you you're not good enough . Or it could be about overwhelm , because there's too much you need to learn and you feel like you can't do it . Or it could be about confusion , because there's too much going on in your life . There are many forms to what I call the mental mess .

Many times it's even messier because it's a combination of all the above . There's a ton of mess in there .

Our brain is always running and it's stored away thoughts , our entire life , and those thoughts are things that sometimes we think over and , over and over again , and this develops neural pathways that become habitual patterns of thought and when something happens that triggers us in a certain way , our brain will kick into high gear .

It'll serve up that old pattern of thought and that's why we feel crappy , that's why we feel hopeless , that's why we get stuck . But what I want you to know is that , no matter what happens in your career life , no matter how scary or catastrophic life may seem right now , you can learn how to take control of what's going on in that brain of yours .

You can clean up that mental mess . You can learn how to practice the self command when it comes to that inner voice that you need If you want your life to go in the direction that you're hoping it will go . And , honestly , it's easier than you might think . This is about daily self-awareness . That's it .

It's just a discipline and that comes from having a daily practice around your thought life . It's important always , but , honestly , especially important when life seems to come at you from all sides At some point in our life , probably at many points in our life . It happens to all of us .

So you might be wondering well , how would I gain awareness , how would I practice self-command with a brain that's running on overdrive ? 60,000 thoughts a day feels overwhelming in and of itself . You know , and here's the simple answer , I want you to set up a daily practice each morning , where you spend 15 to 30 minutes .

It's up to you doing what I call a thought download . That's what I call it in my practice . Now , if you've happened to be a fan of Julia Cameron , who wrote the Artist's Way , I think she calls it morning pages it's the same thing , it's the same principle . You just sit quietly for 20 to 30 minutes with a notebook and pen and you start writing .

I don't know about you , but people used to say , oh , you need to journal , and I always thought what am I going to write about ? This is an answer to that . You don't have to write about anything . What you have to do is just sit there and start . Dump everything . Extract everything from your brain onto the page . Everything .

Extract everything from your brain onto the page . You can either let your brain decide what you write or , if you're going through something very specific , you can make it about that . It doesn't really matter . The key is get everything from your head down on paper , keep writing . And what I like to tell my clients is do one sentence per line .

And the reason I like to do that don't do it in paragraph form , because I feel like when you put one sentence per line and you look at it later which I'll show you how to do in a minute you start to understand that everything that you're writing on these pages , that everything you put down , are just separate on these pages , that everything you put down are

just separate random thoughts . It's not this big complicated story , it's just sentences that are in your head that you're going to write down on paper . Now what you'll notice is that many of the sentences will go together . That's because what we think sometimes amplifies , or a simpler way to think about it is like thoughts travel together .

I like to call them thought clusters or thought cousins or thought families . Like they will travel together and sometimes they'll amplify and build meaning . They get worse and worse and worse , right ? So that's a catastrophic kind of thinking , right ? That's a thought pattern that sometimes we have , but sometimes they'll be separate .

So sometimes your thoughts in the morning will run a range from good to catastrophic . The key is just to get them down . Julia Cameron recommends , with her morning pages , doing two to three pages a day . I kind of like to say just write until there's nothing more to say Usually takes

. Sometimes it'll take 10 minutes , but sometimes it'll take a good 30 . Get it all out no editing , no trying to make it sound better than it is , no self-judgment . Get all the ick from your brain to the page .

And when you can't write anymore , then I want you to sit there quietly , just for a minute and ask yourself what else you might need to say that a couple of times and just keep writing . Think of it as like water in a dishcloth that you're trying to wring out . You're trying to wring every thought out of that wet dishcloth .

There's something powerful about taking the words from your brain and putting them on the page , where they see daylight , where you can look at them . And do you know why ? Because the next thing I want you to do when you're done with writing it all down , I want you to scan through it .

I don't want you to judge it and think well , that's terrible , why did I write that ? I want you to just see it , don't judge it . Read it all , maybe a few times , and then , as you do that , I want you to notice a few things . What are some common themes and do you see how those thoughts would create specific emotions ?

Could be any emotion , positive or negative but do you see how that sentence you wrote down could cause you to feel something very specific in the notice . If you're actually feeling that way , it's the best way to see that what I'm saying is true . The way you feel doesn't just happen because of things that are going on .

It happens because of what you're thinking about , the things that are going on and this is critical to know because this is what creates your life . And then you get to decide if the things that you wrote down are actually things that you want to think Like . That blew my mind the first time . I thought wait a minute , what do you mean ?

Like those thoughts are in my brain , so they must be true , and it's like no , you get to decide Is that what you want to think Like ?

When I found out about my family member's illness , I thought a whole bunch of things , but after I got some awareness of it , I thought , well , wait a minute , that none of that is helpful , right , it's going to keep me overwhelmed .

It's going to keep me focused on how I feel instead of what I want , which is being there for that person right and honoring the time that we left together . You have to decide if the things that you captured in your morning thought download are going to serve you .

Are they going to cause you to feel things that will inspire you to be the person you want to be for that day , or do the things that you want to do that are going to lead you to the result that you want in your life ?

And if the answer to that is no , you get to choose something you want to think instead , like I did Again , it doesn't mean that you're going to choose a positive , rosy thought if you've got a friend or a loved one who's sick , but it might mean shifting into a different perspective and choosing gratitude for the time that you've had and the time that you

still have left , and then deciding how you want to show up on purpose in the time that you have left . Those are very different thoughts than the thoughts that I had when I found out right . What I want you to know is that the things that happen to you might be random . They might be caused by someone else . They might be things you don't want .

They probably will be at least a percentage of the time in your life . But I want you to know that you are still in charge . You get to steer your daily life in the direction that you choose to go . You don't have to just accept your brain's default path .

That's just old thoughts that are in there and some of them might serve you , but many of them probably won't , and you get to choose something new . Those thoughts that you get to choose . That's your point of power in your life . It's how you of power in your life .

It's how you take back control in a career or a life or a world that sometimes seems out of control . It isn't . You are in the driver's seat . You just have to decide to put your hands on the wheel and steer . You get to direct your thoughts how you want them to go . Your attitude does determine your altitude and it starts with what you decide to think .

How you decide to start your day Doesn't have to be about picking up the cell phone , doesn't have to be about turning on the news . It doesn't have to be about anything except sitting down quietly and getting

everything from your head onto the paper and then deciding if that is going to serve you for that day . And if it doesn't decide to choose , what do you want to think instead ? It is 100% your choice . This is a daily 20 minute power practice that I promise you will change your entire life . I know it has mine . Try it and see . Until next time .

Make it a great week . My friends , do you have a life coach ? If not , I'd be so honored to be your coach . I've created a virtual coaching program and monthly membership called Next Level . Inside we take the material you hear on this podcast , study it and then apply it . Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash next level .

Don't forget the purposefulcareercom backslash next level . Join me and together we'll make your career in life everything you dream of . We'll see you there .