Ep 219: Mastering Mindset: How to Mentally Prepare for (and Conquer) a Difficult Day

It's about having the clarity , self-confidence and unstoppable belief to go after and get everything you want . If you'll come with me , I'll show you how Well . Hello friends . I hope you had an amazing week .

Today we're going to talk about mindset and we're going to talk about how you can borrow some of the wisdom and the approaches from professional athletes to train your brain to be very , very intentional about the day or the week ahead . Too many people , especially in the corporate arena , spend their time dreading Monday morning .

So one of the big reasons I wanted to start this podcast and it's one of the reasons I wanted to publish it on Sunday is because the Sunday blues are a very real thing for too many people , and it's really just because we're looking at the Monday on our calendar or the week ahead and we're allowing ourselves , instead of to look at it with intention and

purpose on how do we approach it in a as empowering a way as possible , instead , we just like let our brain take over and we go into this very passive , default , unempowered mindset where we feel like we're just sort of plodding through our work week or our difficult day instead of really taking control and harnessing our full power to make it everything that it

could possibly be . So I think this will be an interesting one to make it everything that it could possibly be . So I think this will be an interesting one . I'm sharing some examples from the professional athlete arena that you can start to think about .

How that might apply to how you would approach a difficult day , and I also give you a three-step approach to being very intentional about your day and deciding in advance how you want to show up , who you want to be in those difficult situations and how you can harness all of your power going into that . It's going to be a really great episode .

I think it can make a huge difference on the quality of your life and , honestly , on the trajectory of your career . If you can show up in difficult moments and in difficult meetings and on difficult days , still being resilient , strong , focused , persuasive , unflappable , you can do anything , and that is really not magic . It's not something you're born with .

It's something you decide and it's about approaching every day with intention and purpose . So enjoy this episode on being intentional every day .

Today I want to talk about something that kind of off the last couple of weeks episodes where in episode 217 , we're talking about inner leadership and what does it mean to work on making yourself happy within the context of your career or your life .

And then in last week's episode we were talking about how to stay fired up and passionate in the middle of your career , when sometimes for some people , it can kind of be a time when we're feeling , I don't know , not so great , not so charged , and none of us want that .

And the impetus for this episode is I saw a stat this week that said that 59% of Americans experience the Sunday blues , meaning they look at Monday or the week ahead and they are filled with dread and anxiety about the things that their week or day holds for them , the challenges associated with that and all of that .

And I wanted to talk about that because that is a very real thing and I'm not going to say that there haven't been periods in my own career where I haven't felt the same way . I mean , listen , we all have those days .

I mean , listen , we all have those days whether it's just work or work combined with the challenges going on in your personal life , where we can just feel like it's a little much , you know , and that we just look at the calendar and we think , oh , I wish that I could just stay in bed with the you know covers over my head , or I wish I could just catch

a quick flu or something , so I don't have to face what's going on for me this day or this week or whatever .

But that is not a great way or an intentional way to live your life , and I wanted to talk about that because I think a lot of times what happens with most of us is that , you know , sometimes on Sundays we'll peak what's going on on Monday , or we'll look at the week ahead and we'll just think , oh , my God , I dread it Right , and that's where the Sunday

blues come from , because you're just thinking it's going to be a miserable week . There's so many hard things to do .

I have all this tough stuff going on at work , and then I've got these three things that I have to do in my personal life and it's just all too much and we let our mind decide for us how we're going to think about the week or the day , and that default thought that you carry into that day is the thought and the emotion that you're going to take to the

meeting with you . So let's just take it out of the career realm for a minute . Let's just look at professional athletes . So I want to talk first about Michael Phelps , who is a rock star swimmer . He's won 23 Olympic gold medals , and it's talking about how he approaches competition .

And I would think , if you're an Olympic athlete and you've been training at elite levels for 12 or 15 years , however long and it finally comes the day of the Olympic trials where you're trying to make the team or maybe your swim meet within the Olympic competition yes , I mean , I think some people could say , oh , that's probably very exciting for them .

I would imagine , though , it's a little bit of dread too , cause it's like okay , are all of these years and all of these thousands of hours I've spent going to add up to anything ? I don't know if I can think of anything more pressure filled or more potentially anxiety driving than that .

There's a lot riding on that , you know , and I did a little bit of research , and it was saying that Michael Phelps really credits visualization as a key part of his training . So it's not just about his eating and it's not just about , you know , just the relentless training of his body and the just physical hours in the pool perfecting his sport .

It is about his mind and how he thinks of it , and it says that he visualizes every detail of his race in advance , not necessarily focusing the other swimmers , but pulling all of his energy in and focusing on himself . What's his hand position , what's his arm position , what's his breathing cadence , how's he going to do the turn ? What's his foot position ?

I don't , I'm not a swimmer , but you know what I mean . And as , even reading , he even visualizes all the potential little things that could go wrong during the race , like maybe his you know strap on his goggles breaking . How would he handle that , right ?

So he didn't leave anything to chance , and his mental preparation was every bit as important as his physical preparation . And what happened ? He's won 23 Olympic gold medals , one of the most decorated swimmers of generations , maybe ever . I don't know the stats on that , but there's lots of other ones .

Missy Franklin , who's an American swimmer , won four gold medals in the 2012 London Olympics , used visualization to reduce anxiety and mentally rehearse her races , and she stated that by visualizing her races she felt more prepared and less stress when the actual event occurred . It almost like she'd been through it before , so she knew exactly how to handle it .

Kayla Harrison , the two-time Olympic gold medalist in judo , visualizes her success every night before competitions . She imagines herself winning and standing on the podium , which helps her stay focused and motivated and resilient enough to overcome setbacks during the actual match .

Troy Dumais I don't know if I said his name right , but a four-time Olympian diver , he uses visualization to mentally practice his dives and believes that by seeing himself successfully execute a dive , it increases the likelihood of that actually happening in reality .

And finally , marielle Zagunas again don't know if I said the name right two-time Olympic gold medalist , and fencing uses visualization to prepare for different scenarios during her matches , which helps her stay calm and react quickly to her opponent's moves because she's thought them all through in advance . And it's how that .

Research has shown that visualization can improve performance by up to 45% with athletes , because it helps them mentally rehearse their actions , it builds confidence and it reduces performance anxiety . That's a big deal .

And let's just take it over to my favorite sport , which is professional football , the US version and I was watching a Netflix documentary it's been a while now because I think it's been out for a couple seasons but it was called Quarterback , produced by the Manning brothers , who are also favorites of mine , and they looked at four or five different quarterbacks in

the NFL and one of them was Kurt Cousins , who used to be with the Vikings in , I think , minnesota and I think now is in Atlanta with the Falcons .

But anyway , in one of the last episodes of that documentary it was showing him he had some sort of a neuro device and the whole thing was about mental preparation for what it's like to be a quarterback that is trying to find his receivers down the field and not pay any attention to the five to six really large individuals on the opposing defensive line who are

trying to get around the offensive line protecting Kirk Cousins and tackle him . I don't know what the weight differential is , but I would imagine the average quarterback is probably between 185 and , let's just call it , 200 pounds , and it's like those linemen are over 300 pounds each and they're fast too .

So they're freaks of nature and they're trying to get him and you would think , oh gosh , he's been playing football forever , right , and including , like several years in the in the NFL . But he said it never changes . It's like human nature to think they're going to kill me . They're running at me and I've got to connect with a receiver down the field .

So he said I have to train my brain to not go into panic , fight or flight mode . I've got to stay calm and not pay any attention to the very large humans running at me trying to tackle me , sometimes less than a foot away when the ball leaves his hand .

He has to connect with that receiver down the field , first find them and then send the ball in that direction . So that is very , very good illustration of what your mind is actually capable of . And you think about these professional athletes , or these very accomplished athletes , and it isn't enough , in their view , to train their body .

They have to train their mind for that level of competition and how to overcome all of the automatic responses that a normal human brain would have in those situations . Right ?

So let's carry this back now into your career and let's think about the Sunday blues , right ? So it's like when this episode comes out , I always do it on a Sunday for that very reason , right .

When I started this podcast more than four years ago , I thought , you know , I knew that Sunday was the lowest hour , a listener day , for podcasts Like I think the highest one is like Thursday and , to be very honest with you , most of you do listen on Wednesday or Thursday , but I wanted to do it on Sunday anyway for the people who might be struggling , cause

there were some years in my career I'm not going to lie when you know it could get a little real on a Sunday , depending on what the week held for me . And so let's take it back to that and let's just pretend so it's Sunday when you're hearing this . Let's pretend you're listening when the day comes out .

Let's just pretend that Monday is a really challenging day for you , that you have , let's just say , you dread public speaking and you've got an hour talk you have to give to a really large group of people , maybe 500 people .

And let's pretend like in the afternoon you have a difficult conversation with your boss coming and let's pretend like you've got to meet with one of your clients who is notoriously difficult , like , maybe 50% of the time , it's okay . Clients who is notoriously difficult , like , maybe 50% of the time , it's okay , 50% of the time things don't go your way right .

So let's just say you're a normal person . You're looking at your calendar for the next day and you think , oh , I wish I could catch a quick flu or something so that I don't have to have this day happen because it's going to be so bad .

That's not a great way to look at it , but it's the normal way to look at it , right , to look at the meetings in the calendar and let your brain decide whether that's a good lineup of things or whether it's a very challenging lineup of things . And then whatever those thoughts are that your brain decides to serve up . We're not usually even aware of it .

We just think we look at the day and we have all these things that we're thinking and we think those things are just true . Like , oh , that is going to be a miserable day . But what if I told you that the worst lineup of meetings doesn't have to equal a bad day ? How would you steer it in a different direction ?

Just kind of leveraging the insights that we just talked through about the professional athletes . They don't leave things to chance . They don't just athletes . They don't leave things to chance . They don't just train their body and show up on their big day and hope everything goes well . No , they have already been through that race hundreds of times in their mind .

Michael Phelps even thinking about okay , I'm in the middle of it , what happens if my foothold slips ? Or what happens if the strap on my ? I'm in the middle of it . What happens if my foothold slips ? Or what happens if the strap on my goggles breaks in the middle of the race ? How am I going to get through that without even being phased ?

That's what I mean . That is like elite level brain training , literally , and it's no accident that that resulted in 23 gold medals . He didn't leave that to chance . He trained his brain and he credits that more than anything with where he ended up in his Olympic performance . You can do the same thing Like think about it . Okay , so let's just play it out .

You're looking at your day . It's got all those hard things in it , and so you spend the rest of Sunday like dreading it . You know , just thinking , oh , I wish I could just skip to Tuesday . Tuesday is a better day If you let your brain be in charge and that's the direction that it goes .

What do you think is going to happen on Monday morning You're going to hit the snooze button three times , right , you're going to plot around , kind of bleary eyed , um to the coffee pod , get ready . You're going to fling yourself in the shower , kind of throw yourself together , not with purpose , probably , but with dread , wishing you could be anywhere .

But your day that day , given what meetings it holds and all the challenges you expect to face , that's not a great way to start your day . And if you let your mind be in charge , what kinds of emotions do you think that's going to make you feel ? I mean , it's dread , right . Going to make you feel . I mean it's dread , right .

Anxiety maybe , maybe a little fear sprinkled in there . It's not confident . Think about , like , what choices are you going to make when you put yourself together ? How do you think you're going to walk into the room or walk onto that stage and speak to those 500 people or whatever it's like ? It's not going to be you at your best .

It's going to be you filled with dread . That's not great energy , because that , that energy , if you believe that we're like an energetic field , people pick up on that , you know . So how do you look at the day and acknowledge yes , this is legitimately going to be one of the harder days that I've had .

You know , there's no point in lying to yourself and I'm not suggesting that you do that , but I am suggesting that there's a very different way that you would begin a day if you wanted to do it in a purposeful way , and that would be you don't just dive in to getting ready , you don't hit the snooze button three times , you actually set the alarm for the

time you want to get up and I would suggest allowing yourself 20 minutes before you have to get into your morning routine . Right Before you start getting ready , center yourself , think about the things that you've got to do that day and the best version of you going into those things . So think about those situations . That's number one , and then number two .

I want you to think for each of those situations , what do you expect to encounter ? Kind of like the Michael Phelps thing , right . What could possibly go wrong with that super difficult client ?

What could possibly go wrong when you're up on the stage , right , and it's like , how do you run yourself mentally through that so that you're picking a thought that you want to anchor to , because that is going to make all the difference in the world on what emotion you carry with you , whether it's confidence or anxiety , right , whether it's determination or , you

know , impatience . It's really important to decide in advance what thought you want to hang on to , going into what you know will probably be a very difficult situation , super , super important .

So , again , need 20 minutes and think about the situations you're going to be encountering , get clear on what you think those challenges are going to be , and then choose a very intentional thought for each one of the situations that you want to hang on to .

And then the third thing is I want you to visualize . I want you to visualize it going well . I want you to visualize potential pushback from the difficult client . I want you to visualize potential pushback from the difficult client . I want you to visualize standing up on stage and forgetting part of what you wanted to say , or stumbling over your words .

What thought do you want to have with that and how do you want to prepare yourself for ? Okay , what do I do with that ?

Oh , maybe you need to take a couple of note cards up on stage with you so you can reprompt yourself if you lose track of what you were going to say , or something like that , or if you have the meeting with a difficult client , what are some challenges that they brought up in the past ?

What kinds of pushback might you expect and what could be some potential ways that you could navigate through that , so that you know , instead of showing up with frustration or irritation when the difficulties arise , you're confident , you're calm , you're centered , you're curious and you're just navigating your way through it because you're prepared .

You expected that this could happen and you've just navigating your way through it because you're prepared . You expected that this could happen and you've already worked your way through it . I'll give you an example from my own career , and this happened a while back .

It's been I don't know at least 15 years and I was running the brand for one of the big three wireless companies . And when you're doing that , what that means is you're basically in charge of all of kind of the brand marketing .

So the brand strategy , the advertising , all the strategic parts of that positioning , messaging , things like that and then all of the channel activations below that in digital and all the other channels . And so I was probably there at this point at about six months , and we'd been working the whole time on a repositioning . They really needed it .

It's one of the reasons they brought me in and a repositioning and we were going to roll out a new advertising campaign and stuff .

It was kind of a big deal and we've been working with a consulting , a brand consulting firm and doing all that work on segmentation and positioning and all the different things that were eventually going to be translating into a , an advertising campaign .

And there was going to be a big meeting and it was going to be in downtown Chicago and we , the place where I worked it was like in the near suburbs , I would say , of Chicago downtown , and all the senior executives were going to be there and all of a sudden I figured my boss would do it .

He was the CMO and I was fine with that , like we were preparing for that but he came up to me it was probably a week in advance and he said I just want you to know . I think you should really be the one who's up on stage introducing it , rolling it out and all that .

You did all the work and you know you should get all the credits good way to introduce you to everybody . And I said , oh , no , at that point in my career I was great at avoiding those sorts of opportunities . You know , like I invented ways to get out of speaking in front of large groups and he was having none of it .

He was like no , actually I'm not asking , you're doing it . And I was like , oh dear God . You know , I thought this is like my worst nightmare and so , leading up to it , I knew what I wanted to say .

I did know all the stuff because we'd done all the work , so it wasn't the subject matter content , it was just like at that time in my career I wasn't comfortable enough in my skin I guess is the way to put it to be up on stage and having all those eyeballs looking at me .

I just it's like a nightmare , it's like something that I would dream about and wake up in a cold sweat . You know , only this was going to be real , and so I ran through it many times and as the day approached , I was just beside myself , I mean , like with dread .

All I could think about was getting up there , stumbling through it , not doing a very good job and having my new team . I had a large team . It was like 26 people just look at me and think that I didn't do a good job and that that to me , was more crushing than anything .

And that day I had a long drive downtown because I lived out I don't know 15 miles from the thing . So it's probably all in , it's probably an hour drive in Chicago is always very difficult traffic situation . So I had to drive all the way downtown and my stomach was just in a knot all the way and finally I had this epiphany .

When I was driving I thought wait a minute . You've done all this work . You know this stone cold . And the truth of the matter is you want to do a good job for your people . They're all going to be sitting there . You don't want them to . You want them to be proud of you and the work that we've done . You don't want them to be embarrassed by you .

So you need to get up there on that stage and you need to deliver for them , not for you . So you look good , you know . And you need to deliver for them , not for you . So you look good , you know .

And there was something about that twist , that intentionality of saying I'm going to get up there on stage and I'm going to do the best job I can so that my team feels good about the work , and so they're proud of everything that we've done and of me as their leader . I don't want them to be embarrassed or whatever .

And there's something about holding on to that , like when I went up on stage . I remember like all those eyeballs it's just like literally my worst nightmare all those eyeballs staring at me .

You know , some people were paying attention , some people were paying attention and I could see , like in the back of the room , above the people sitting , I could see the brand consultants were standing in the back and they were all talking amongst themselves and I could see my boss and a couple of my leaders and some peers and they're all sort of talking or

whatever . While I started my thing , but about five minutes into it , as I was kind of picking up steam and getting into it I think it was like a 20 minute thing I could see them all stop talking . I could see the consultants turn and they were watching me and I sort of registered .

But I just kind of I kind of kept going and I remember thinking at the time okay , this is , this is going , okay , you know , and I just sort of kept going and I was glad that I'd prepared as well as I had .

And anyway , when I was done , my boss came up to me because there was a break right after that and my boss came up to me and he said , wow , you're really good at this public speaking thing . You never really mentioned that and I said that is one of my worst things . Like what are you talking about ? And he goes actually it's not .

And I was like what Like about ? And he goes actually it's not . And I was like what ? Like it was such a weird because I mean , legitimately , I could tell you stories of just terrible experiences I had earlier in my career and people who worked with me would probably say , yes , that is , she was terrible , but that day I wasn't .

And for him , he now thinks of me as this great public speaker which I would never say that , but it was , at that point , my best performance . And one of the consultants came up to me and said , wow , you really are good at that . And I was like huh .

But what was interesting to me was it was way before I got exposed to any of this coaching stuff or the cognitive approach . But what I did , without even knowing what I did , was I decided in advance what I wanted to carry with me onto that stage and it was very different from what I would usually do as an introvert .

What I would usually do is say everyone's going to be staring at me , I'm going to lose my train of thought , they're going to think I'm an idiot , like all the things . That's what I would typically do . I didn't do that . I held onto one thought I know what I'm doing and I'm doing this for my team and I'm going to kill it .

I'm going to do the very best job I can and I did the very best job I could . So back to you . What do you want to carry with you into your most difficult situations ? Do you want your default brain to be in charge to say I wish I could catch a quick flu .

Maybe I should pretend to be sick , I don't want to go through this , you know , and kind of plod through your day ? Or do you want to take that 20 minutes in the morning to say , okay , here's what's in front of me , here's going to be the easy things , here's going to be some of the challenges .

Let's get into those challenges and think about what could possibly go wrong or whatever . Let's think about what's the thought I want to carry with me when I walk into that room with that difficult client who shoots holes into all of my hard work all the time , how am I going to bring positive , persuasive , resilient energy into that room ?

That is a choice , that is a thought that you can think in advance . Don't leave it to chance . And instead of dread you're carrying with you confidence , persuasion , curiosity , master , influencing skills . That doesn't happen by accident . That happens because you chose it right and you know how can you visualize every minute of those interactions in advance .

Doesn't take very long to do it , but just kind of run through it and think what could possibly go wrong and how do you want to show up in those moments if it does go wrong .

That's the difference between coming off as a polished professional , ready for anything , a master leader , an influencer or someone who's just kind of going through the motions and kind of miserable and think about like kind of going through the motions and kind of miserable , and think about like even more than just getting through those difficult situations in the best

possible way you can . It makes a huge difference to your emotional state and your state of mind and you take that home with you , to your family , to your friends , to the other people in your life , to the rest of your life .

Are you going to spend all evening eating cupcakes or drinking wine after a difficult day , or are you going to feel energized and ready to head to the gym and eating a healthful meal and having a great evening with the people that you love ?

Your outcome of your day is a choice you can make at the beginning and it doesn't have anything to do with the level of difficulty of the things that are scheduled into your day . It has to do with one thing what you decide in advance , you want to think about those things and then going and doing that . That is what I wanted to talk to you about today .

I know it can sound a little . I don't know if you really believe that , when you look at your day , that the things that you think , if you want to believe that those are just true . That's a choice , but I'd like to challenge you to say no . I get to decide what's true .

What's true and what I'm going to decide in advance is something very empowering , and that's the energy I'm going to use to put myself together , to choose the outfit , to choose the accessories to carry with me when I walk into the room and to be with me during those situations , so that I'm at my best 100% of the time and when you walk out you're feeling

great , even if it didn't all go your way . You know you gave it your very , very best and that's really all that matters . And that energetic state will stay with you long after Monday is over . So that is what I wanted to talk to you about today .

I hope that you remember this and start to institute a practice that's very purposeful in your mornings , because it doesn't have to be something that's filled with dread , where you're rushing around trying to get everything done before you run out the door .

If you have to wake up 20 minutes earlier to make your day more purposeful and more intentional , that is time very well spent . So with that I will leave you until next time .

Make it a great week . My friends , do you have a life coach ? If not , I'd be so honored to be your coach . I've created a virtual coaching program and monthly membership called Next Level . Inside , we take the material you hear on this podcast , study it and then apply it . Join me at the purposefulcareercom backslash next level .

Don't forget the the purposefulcareercom backslash next level . Join me and together we'll make your career in life everything you dream of . We'll see you there .