Ep 198: Five Steps to Take When You're in the Middle of (or Thinking About Making ) a Career Change

It's about having the clarity , self-confidence and unstoppable belief to go after and get everything you want . If you'll come with me , I'll show you how Well . Hello friends . I hope you had an amazing week . We're going to continue on with our refreshed episode series and this one is a goodie .

This one is for all the folks out there who are in the middle of a period of change . Whether it's change that's your idea , meaning there's something new calling to you a new career path , or leaving corporate and becoming an entrepreneur .

Or whether it's a change that you're sort of being pushed into meaning maybe you've been laid off or displaced because your partner is moving across the country for their job and so your job is changing because you can't do remote whatever .

There are so many different scenarios , but this episode walks you through five things that you need to do and keep in mind very practical steps for when you find yourself in the middle of a time of change . So enjoy this episode on five steps to take when you've been pushed off your path .

So today I want to talk about something that actually comes up for many of my clients . As you know , my sweet spots for the people that I help tend to be at mid-career . Now I'll help people across the spectrum , but the sweet spot for me is mid-career .

I know a lot about it , having been in mid-career myself for a bit , and I understand all of the things that can come up for people when they're at mid-career or midlife .

So I want to talk today about this because a lot of my clients are going through what I'm about to talk about , and I'm also doing it in honor of all of the folks in the tech sector right now , because they're probably in the middle of what I'm about to talk about and it's not fun . I've been through my own versions of this .

I'm sure many of us have , and you know it can come up if you know you're wanting to make a career change .

It can come up if someone decides for you that you are going to make a career change because you no longer have the job that you used to go to every day , and it can also come up , you know when you are , you know , sort of looking ahead towards retirement , things like that and the topic is what do you do when you feel like you're being pushed off your

path , and what I mean by that ? That is a very purposeful statement , because it is usually what it feels like . Sometimes it feels that way because a door closes , right . So we've got a job and we go to that job every day , whether we love it or not .

And then , you know , we're sometimes caught up in a massive layoff or a major reorganization or something that in some way changes our path , and it wasn't our choice , right ? So that's one way that happens .

Another way , though , that it happens is that you might be humming along on your path and you're caught up in the routines of your life and you're doing your best every day , but gradually , as you move through the years , you can feel your original excitement for your career path waning .

Maybe you used to love it , and now you wake up one day , 10 , 15 , 20 years in , and think what in the world ? Why did I choose this path ? Because I hate it , right ?

And so in that instance it happens to many of us not all of us , but happens to many of us , no matter what , like people in the professions , like the medical field , attorneys , and of course it can happen in any functional area that you may find yourself and even entrepreneurs , like they start their business and they get 10 , 15 years in and think , why did

I start this business ? I hate it , you know .

So it can happen and in that instance I think a lot of times people still feel they're being pushed off the path , not necessarily by someone else , but by their own emerging evolution and honestly , that can be just as scary when you are on this path and you've been climbing this ladder and you've been doing this thing , even if you don't love it anymore , if

you suddenly find yourself in a place where you just can't do it anymore , you just can't make yourself summon the discipline you can't put 100% into it anymore , you just don't care .

It's almost like your mind has taken over and it's leading you through this new door that you're not 100% sure you want to walk through , but you feel compelled to walk through it because the idea of staying where you're at , on this known path , feels more painful and scary than trying out a new path , right ?

So those are two of the most significant ways that I come across this with the people that I coach .

Either they're sort of pushed off the path by someone else , like their employer , or they're pushed off the path by their own evolution , which I think can sometimes be a little scarier , because you're not a hundred percent sure why you're doing it and it feels like you just don't have a good sense of control over your life anymore .

The discipline you wonder , like what am I doing ? Am I having a midlife crisis ? Am I having a nervous breakdown ? Like why can't I just be happy with the path that I'm on ? I don't want to make a change , but I feel like I have to make a change . If that sounds like you , I'm talking to you today .

So if you've been pushed out of a job , if you feel like you just can't handle your job anymore , you want to do something new . You're not 100% sure of where life is leading you . This episode is for you and I'm doing it today again because there's so many layoffs .

It's still a very hot job market , but there's so many layoffs happening in the tech sector right now and I wanted to do something that , if some of those people happen across the podcast , I want them to feel not alone .

If some of those people happen across the podcast , I want them to feel not alone and I want them to feel like there's ways for them to take back control of their life and their direction .

And then the other reason is because I'm also counseling a couple of folks , coaching a couple of folks right now who feel like they're in the second bucket , like they have the job one's an entrepreneur , they have the business but they just don't feel like they're in the second bucket , like they have the job one's an entrepreneur , they have the business but they

just don't feel like they're on the right path , the path they think was fine for a season .

And the season is over and it's filling them with a sense of panic because they don't know exactly where they're headed and they don't have confidence that they're going to be able to navigate this , given all their responsibilities in their life and people counting on them and all of that stuff . So I can relate to this .

I've gone through my own navigations in my life , probably more than your average bird . I did not have a traditional experience coming out of high school . I think I've said this before on the podcast , but it's worth saying now because we're talking about transitions here , and I have been through many of them of my own .

And for me , one of the big ones happened very early in my career , and that is I went to a year of college and I just I was always a really good student and I didn't really have to study that hard and things like that , but I just was bored , I just couldn't do it . And so and I'm also a very creative person so I wanted to do hair .

I was very interested in hair color and things like that , and so I went to hair school and then I went and studied in London at Fidel Sassoon and I came back to the States and I built my own business doing hair and I loved it . By the way , I was in the suburbs of St Louis .

I had great clients , amazing clients , and actually in many ways , those people many of them were in the professions a lot of doctors and attorneys and accountants and professional people and I was raised in a more sort of blue collar working class environment , and so I just didn't .

You and I was raised in a more sort of blue collar working class environment , and so I just didn't . You know , I was a good student , but I didn't really know , I don't think , what the possibilities for myself were until , ironically , I quit school and I pursued this other dream of mine .

And my clientele actually were the ones who led me down the path I'm currently on in a very odd , very odd nonlinear way , like I , they inspired me to go back to school , not because of anything they said , but just because of who they were and my exposure to them they were .

Many of them were very successful entrepreneurs in St Louis One of my clients they own the St Louis Blues . These were people who were incredibly successful people , very nice people , very accomplished people , and they opened my eyes to what was possible in life in a way that I love my family and my parents and all that . But they gave me many wonderful things .

But you know , I didn't really know what was possible for myself until I saw what was possible for other people , if that makes sense . So I was someone who decided after about five years of doing hair that I wanted to go back to school .

So I put myself through a private university in St Louis where I lived and I ran my business while I did that full time . So I was a very busy girl for several years and I got my undergraduate degree in marketing and I left my business and that was very hard .

Those people were like my family at that point , you know , went to their children's weddings and I was very involved and I'm still in touch with many of them today Like they were amazing people .

I was very lucky and and I quit my job and I started my marketing career in sports marketing and and then here I am , sort of 28 years later and I've worked for several Fortune 500s , a couple Fortune 10s , and I moved if you've got the right clientele , you know to start over again at the age of whatever . I was 28 or whatever it was .

You know , it was kind of scary , but I was still at a fairly young age . I just had this then extra push , extra kind of passion burning inside because I felt like I got a late start , you know , because all of my peers were three or four , five years ahead of me in terms of their college education , their career start .

So I kind of went into it with just a major fire in my belly and I never regretted it , like I never , ever considered not staying on that path

and doing it . But I guess what I want to tell you is leaping into the unknown and giving up something that you know for something that you don't know and that you've got no guarantee it's going to turn out the way that you want . I think gets . It's always a challenge , but I think the stakes are higher .

The older that you get , like especially in mid career , because that's the age where many folks have children at home , they're thinking about college for their children . They've got , usually , a mortgage , they've got a couple of cars , they've got , you know , food to put on the table and all of that .

And so to think about throwing all your life cards up in the air and trying something new feels really , really hard .

But I will tell you that when you are either pushed off the path by someone else or you're feeling pushed off the path by your own interests and desires , even though part of you maybe wants to stay and part of you wants to try this new thing , if a door in your life is closing , it is incumbent upon you to open another door .

And if you don't like , if you're in the second bucket and you're like , let's pretend you're not laid off , like you still have your job , but you just don't want to do it anymore and you're telling yourself what you have to right Because you have all this life obligations and stuff like that If you don't open the new door , you pay a price .

And that is exactly what I'm coaching my people on right now is , like , what's the price to be paid by saying no to that part of you that's evolving right Of staying in this safe place and , by the way , no job is safe . We know this intellectually , but try to convince ourself no , no , I'm going to do the safe thing .

I'm going to stay right where I am because it's safe , you know , and it's not safe , like no matter how good the employer , like there are lots of things that can change and they are not in control of everything that happens , and it's , you know .

That's just reality these days , in these , these modern times , and so what I want to talk about today is when you're pushed off the path for one of those reasons and you know that it's time for a change whether it's a change that you want or a change that you're feeling like you have to figure out because you're now in a place where you're not employed

anymore .

I want you to think about it as as-step sequence of thoughts like five phases that you're going to go through and things that you can do in each phase to move you into the next phase , so that you keep moving forward and you don't stay stuck , because it's super easy whether you get laid off or whether you're trying to resist the desire to pursue something new .

You want to kind of stay in a safe place so you don't shake things up in your life too much . You know there's five things that you need to go do . Number one you need to be honest with yourself that it's time for a change Again .

Maybe the change happened to you and you can't really deny it , or maybe it's just your interests are leading you in a new direction . Either way , it's very important to pay attention to that and to own that that .

Whether you wanted it or not , here you are with either a change of life situation , forced out of a job or something like that , or you just don't want to do what you're doing anymore . You just can't do it . It's like a soul sucking thing that you're making yourself stay in this place instead of pursuing something new .

So , number one be honest with yourself about where you're at and whether something new is calling to you and if it is , and whether something new is calling to you and if it is , then commit to doing these next four steps , because it's really an exploration for you

to go through . Number two is in order to move forward , you have to let go of your past ideals , and here's what that means . We choose paths in our life right . Many times , you know , we do it rather early . Sometimes we change our mind , like I did , you know , in an earlier stage of our professional path . Many of us do that , but sometimes we don't .

Sometimes we pick a path and we stay on it and we get kind of married to the path we're on .

And so the problem with that getting overly invested in the path we're on is that we build up this set of ideals about what the path was about and what we thought we were going to accomplish there , and sometimes it forms our sense of identity , like we think that's who we are , and if we lose that or intentionally walk away from that , we can feel kind of

lost without that image of ourself . We'll talk more about self image in a minute . But when you're in a place where change is calling to you , for whatever reason , you have to let go of any of the past idealization that you had about the path that you've been on .

You've got to let it go and the reason you have to do that is because if you hang on to that , it's like a trapeze artist . That's kind of the way I look at it , having navigated some of these things , just personally myself . I think of like your life and your career .

This sounds kind of funny , but like a trapeze artist , like in the circus , you know those folks who are swinging from the bar gracefully and they let go of one bar and they flip through the air and they grab the other bar , you know , and they're swinging and to me that's like what it means to be in flow in your career , meaning you're gracefully sort of

going with the flow of your life and your passions and you're letting it lead you . That's to me the graceful circus trapeze artist way to do your career .

The way to get stuck is , let's say that there's two swinging trapezes right and you know how they hook their knees over the trapeze and they're like swinging back and forth and then they'll fling themselves off of it and grab the other trapeze and they're flipped to the air .

Like to me that's that graceful letting go of one and the grabbing of the other is what it means to be in flow . That's a really good metaphor for what happens in our life , right metaphor for what happens in our life , right .

And if you're on one of those trapezes and you're grasping onto it with both hands , let's just say it's the trapeze that represents your current path . If you don't let go of that trapeze , you're going to just be swinging back and forth .

The other trapeze , which represents your new interests , is going to be empty meaning unexplored and eventually the trapeze you're on is going to stop swinging so hard . It's going to come to a stop and you're just going to be stuck hanging there .

To me , that's a really great metaphor for what happens to people who don't stay in the flow of where life or their interests want to take them .

The thing to do here and when I talk about letting go of past ideals , you have to find the courage to , while the trapeze is swinging back and forth , to launch yourself towards the new trapeze , the one that doesn't have you on it .

You know that's your new path and you have to let go of the trapeze of the idealization of the path that you're on in order to allow yourself to explore the possibility of the new path that you're dreaming of , even if you're not a hundred percent sure yet of what it is , and we'll talk about that in a minute .

So , first step recognize that change is upon you , whether it's what you wanted or not . It's here and you've got to explore it . Step two give yourself the grace and have the courage to let go of the past so that you can do step three , which is allow yourself to consider or explore new possibilities .

Now , sometimes people already know at midlife what they want to go do . Next , about half people that I've talked to kind of have this vague idea Well , I want to go back to school and I want to .

I've always wanted to be a teacher , or I've always wanted to be , um , get my master's in counseling , or I always wanted to do , you know , start a business , right . The other half of us kind of don't know , and we'll say that I don't know what I want , right , and it's very easy . That's the second place you can get stuck .

If the first place is you don't let go of your past ideals , you're on the trapeze and you're hanging onto the past for dear life instead of letting go and allowing yourself to swing over to the new . The second way that we get stuck is by saying I don't know and allowing panic and fear and uncertainty to hold you back and uncertainty to hold you back .

And the easiest way to get yourself out of that place is by just taking one step . So let's say that you've got some vague idea hey , I want to learn , I want to be a coach , I want to start my own business , or I want to start my own online store , or I want to go back and pursue a master's degree .

The easiest way to get yourself into a place where you start to become excited about the new possibility and get less fixated on the past is by taking steps in a direction , and exploring Doesn't mean you have to commit to anything at this phase , but start looking at those master's degree programs , start looking into coaching certifications , start looking into e-commerce

sites that you could start , whatever your area of interest is , and start exploring . Take notes , block time off on your calendar , put time into it right . Really give yourself the grace and the space to think about what you want to do next and , if you're not sure , hire a coach . They can walk you through it .

I help a lot of my clients with this , so it's something that can be not scary . It can actually be very reaffirming . It can help really recalibrate your expectations for the rest of your life . It's like a way to reignite at mid-career or whenever you're going through this . Some people go through it later , like as they happen upon retirement .

Some people are going through it like I did early in my career , like before they hit 30 , they're making some big change , like it can happen anytime , but mid-career is a big time for it .

So step three allow yourself to consider the possibilities , and that means not just noodle it in your mind , because your mind will play tricks on you and tell you it's too late , there's a thousand reasons why it's not going to work and it can get you stuck . The way to get unstuck is by allowing yourself to just explore .

Tell yourself I'm just going to look into this and start making a list of all the things that you could look into to see if it's something you actually want to go do . So that's number three .

And then step number four is a tricky one for many people , and that means after you've explored , it is time to decide what are you going to do next , if you've lost your job and need to find one your new path or if you just don't want to be on the path you're on anymore . Something new is calling to you .

You've taken the time to consider and explore the possibilities . Now what ? Deciding is a place where a lot of people get stuck because it feels like there's a lot at stake . It feels like what if I choose the wrong path , then what ? And I'm already at mid-career ?

And there's all these things that pile up like , oh , it's too scary , I'm not going to succeed . Or oh , I don't have the money to invest in the new business . Or oh , I can't afford to not work for two years while I go to get this advanced degree . And oh , I can't afford to reset my income back to zero and start all over again .

If you stay stuck in those patterns of thought , you will not be able to move forward . So the importance of the exploration is just to show you the paths available to you and allow you to consider the different alternatives that you've been able to discover .

But then you really do need to make a decision , and this is where it doesn't necessarily have to be , at the beginning , an all in decision If you have lost your job and you know your path is one of being an entrepreneur . But you figure it might be three or five years before your income's at a level that you can fully support yourself .

Great , then you know what you need to do is find yourself a transition job . It doesn't have to be as big of a job as maybe you just got out of , just has to cover the bills right so that you have the time to invest in standing up the business . That's one way to do it .

It could be taking out student loans and launching into a full-time you know , master's or graduate program or second bachelor's , whatever it is , and you know , either staying in the job you have or getting a job that can support your baseline bills .

While you're doing that right , there's so many ways to move from point A to point B without causing catastrophic results in your life . So don't talk yourself out of it by telling yourself it's too hard or it's too lady of too many obligations . I can promise you there is always a way to figure out how to get from point A to point B .

Some of them take longer than others . Typically , the more conservative the path , maybe , the longer it could take to get to the destination . But does it really matter how long it takes ? Doesn't it matter that you're heading there , like sometimes ?

I think we can do the math and say , oh God , you know , by the time I get that degree at this pace , I'm going to be five or six years older , and then it's just too late to do X , y , z . None of that is true . That's just coming from a place of fear .

That's just your primitive brain trying to keep you from doing something that it considers dangerous . You know it wants you to be safe . It wants to keep you in the cave . But staying true to who you are and what is inside of you and what you're here to contribute in this world is not really about playing it safe . I think it's actually about the opposite .

I think it's actually about having the courage to honor what's inside of you and not deny it Super , super important . So you have to decide .

Step four , after you've done the exploratory pick something to start doing and go all in . Doesn't have to mean you have to quit your job . Doesn't have to mean that you know you give your , get yourself into a terrible financial situation . It just means be smart about it and figure out how to start moving down that path in a very real , tangible way .

So that's number four and number five very important Once you've picked the path , very important . Once you've picked the path . Now this is something most of us never do . Now you have to adjust your self image , how you see yourself from who you used to be , into the new thing that you're becoming , the new person that you're becoming .

That identity shift is huge and so many of us never do this and I think it's why imposter syndrome and things like that are so prevalent .

I had that for most of my career and the reason why is because and it got worse the more successful I got is because if you don't do on purpose the identity work to see yourself in a new way and that identity work always needs to be being done because as you move up the ladder , you move up the rungs of success .

If your self image doesn't keep pace , if your self-image doesn't keep pace , like if your advancement in money , in title , keeps moving up and your identity is still stuck five years in the past and you don't evolve it on purpose , you don't start seeing yourself in that new way you're going to struggle .

You're going to struggle because there is a cognitive dissonance between who you really are and how the world sees you and how you see yourself . That is where the source of much of the career discontent happens . That is the source of imposter syndrome and all of that . It's about early wiring how we were trained to see ourselves and then who we're becoming .

We don't evolve our self-image to keep pace with that . So then there's this huge Delta and we're just like you feel like a phony , you feel like a fraud . You don't feel like that's really who you are , even though the outside world knows that's who you are because of the contributions .

So it is super important when you're at a time of transition and you're choosing something new . It is very , very important to make sure that , once you decide on a path , that you do all of the self-image work to evolve how you see yourself from where you were into where you're going .

Critically important , because that is where peace of mind comes from , that is where confidence comes from , that is where self-belief comes from , that is where grit and perseverance come from . That's how you keep the voice of your inner critic quiet and soothed . It is incredibly important .

It is a lot of what my practice focuses on I talk about mindset things , not just from the perspective of being positive yes , it's great to be positive but I get all the way to the root , and that is making sure that my clients stay aligned with not only who they are in terms of how they see themselves , but who they're striving to be and trying to shift

and evolve that self image to keep pace with where they're going Right . It's like Wayne Gretzky and the hockey puck example . Like he said , the secret to success was he did not you know , didn't go to where the puck was . He went to where the puck was going right , so he was always where he needed to be .

It's kind of the same thing with your self-image Like you've got to make sure that your self-image is a fluid thing , that it doesn't get fixed and that it stays evolving as you evolve and your interests evolve .

That is the key to not only the most successful life that you can have but , I think , the most peaceful one too , like where you don't have all this agitation and self-doubt stirring around inside right ? So just to go back through those five things , if you find yourself either pushed off the path or that your own inner being is nudging you off the path .

There's five things . Number one recognize it's time for a change . Number two let go of the past and the idealization of the path that you've been on . Let go of it so that you can . Step three allow yourself to consider a new possibility and start exploring it in very tangible ways .

The master's program , the entrepreneur , the whatever path you want to be on , start looking into it . There's no better way to start feeling excited about the possibilities than to actually beginning out there and trying on the new suit . Basically like , look into it , make it real . Step four decide . At some point you're going to have to pick a path .

You don't have to be absolutely certain and the you don't have to be absolutely certain , and the path doesn't have to be forever . If you change your mind , great , make a new decision . It's no big deal .

But you've got to pick a path and start down it and let it lead you where it's going to , either onto yet another path , or maybe that does end up being the right path for you . So either way , that's step four .

And number five , and , most importantly , once you decide and you're heading down that new path , do the inner work on your self image so that it moves from seeing yourself where you are now , or where you used to be , to actually being aligned with where you're going . That is the key to success and inner peace and all of the stuff that we want .

So those are the five things . That's what I wanted to talk to you about today . I hope , if you're someone who feels like you're in the middle of a time of change , I hope you'll reach out . I'd love to talk to you . You can reach me on email if you want Carla at the purposeful careercom , or you're welcome to go to my Instagram .

There's a link in my bio where you can set up a free 30 minute coaching call . I'm happy to talk to you about where you're at and whether or not any of my offerings would be right for you .

But I specialize in helping people navigate these sorts of things and it's something that , honestly , it's easier if you do it with someone else because you can feel very alone , because a lot of times , especially if you're at midlife , you'll be surrounded by people who might see either your loss of job or might see these new interests emerging and it can somehow

trigger things for them Like they might fear that their own security is being undermined or they might . It triggers their own insecurities and worries and things like that , and it can really help to have a coach to keep you centered and on the path so that you keep moving forward and don't get stuck right , and that is my wish for you .

So if there's anything that I can ever do , please don't hesitate to reach out . I do have a new offering coming , called the mid-career edit . That might be right for you , and you can sign up for the waiting list on that if you go to my website . So any way that I can help , I'm here for you and I hope that you found this episode useful .

Remember those five steps , because they will go a long way towards making sure that you don't get stuck in fear or for any other reason and that you instead keep moving forward and staying aligned with where your life is going . That is the key to a purposeful career and a very happy life , and that's what you deserve .

Thank you so much for joining today and until next time , make it a great week , my friends and monthly membership called Next Level . Inside , we take the material you hear on this podcast , study it and then apply it . Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash next level . Don't forget the thepurposefulcareercom backslash next level .

Join me and together we'll make your career in life everything you dream of . We'll see you there .