Ep 175: Breaking Free from Negative Thought Loops - podcast episode cover

Ep 175: Breaking Free from Negative Thought Loops

Apr 14, 202441 minEp. 175
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Episode description

When life throws a curveball, it's not the event itself that knocks us down, but the relentless negative thought loops that follow. I'm Carla Hudson, and I've battled through the grief of losing both my parents in quick succession. By sharing my personal journey and those of my coaching clients, this episode guides you through the murky waters of negativity bias and demonstrates how to reclaim the steering wheel of your mind.

We all face moments when fear and anxiety take the driver's seat, leading us down a path of panic and overwhelm. It's a cycle that's as common as it is crippling. 

But what if I told you that the key to breaking free lies within your own perceptions?

Throughout the episode, we dissect the way our perceptions shape our reality and explore strategies to shift our mindset from negative to neutral—or even positive. I open up about navigating my personal losses and how I chose gratitude over despair, providing a beacon of hope for anyone caught in the throes of sorrow.

Finally, we confront the dread of the coming day—a symptom of a mind caught in the clutches of negativity. This episode offers a lifeline, a reminder that it's never too late to hit the reset button on your thought patterns. For those who feel ensnared in the quicksand of their own thoughts, I extend an invitation: reach out for a one-on-one coaching session or join my virtual coaching program, Next Level. Together, we'll break the chains of negative thinking and lay the foundations for a life brimming with fulfillment and purpose.

Do you have a question you'd like to have addressed on the podcast? Want to give us some feedback or suggestions? Click here to send us a text.

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Learn more about Next Level, our monthly membership at https://www.thepurposefulcareer.com/nextlevel.







Transcript

Breaking Negative Thought Loop Cycle

Speaker 1

This is the Purposeful Career Podcast with Carla Hudson , episode number 175 . I'm Carla Hudson , brand strategist , entrepreneur and life coach , whether you're on the corporate or entrepreneur track , or maybe both , decades of experience has taught me that creating success happens from the inside out .

It's about having the clarity , self-confidence and unstoppable belief to go after and get everything you want . If you'll come with me , I'll show you how Well . Hello friends , I hope you had an amazing week . Today we're going to talk about how to stop a negative thought loop cycle . I don't know if you can relate to this , but I certainly can .

And it's coming up for me today because I'm coaching a couple of different clients who are stuck in this negative thought cycle that's got them in this place , where they spend all of their time overthinking and ruminating on the circumstances that are happening in their life that they don't like , that are not of their choosing , that make them feel scared , panicked ,

anxiety , afraid , that kind of stuff . And I wanted to talk about it today because , as I was coaching them over the last couple of weeks , I was thinking about , as I often do , like , how often has this come up for myself ? And the truth of the matter is , of course , it's come up for me a lot in my life .

I think it happens to all of us , because it is how the human brain works . We have a brain that is really constructed in its default mode to try to keep us alive , right , and it dates back to caveman ancestors who faced real mortal perils just walking out of the cave in the morning , right .

And so the brain works very quickly and it had to be wired to detect danger and to have that be an instinctive thing , so that our caveman ancestor would know to remove themselves from that situation , go back into the cave and thereby keep themselves safe and warm and not in danger of being eaten by the lion or whatever is happening in the outside world .

That part of our brain , the primitive part of our brain , is still around and we live in a very different world now .

We live in a world where we don't face usually the danger of a lion 100 yards from us , but we do face every day this onslaught of things happening to us , either things that people say , things that people do , or , if it's in your corporate life , the things that your company does , decisions they make , or , if you have your own business , the things that your

client might decide to do Some of those things . A percentage of those things are going to be things that our brain will classify as a threat , and when we feel under threat our brains already work really quickly .

But when that threat mechanism is triggered it sends us into hyperdrive , right , and there's all of these hormones that are released and this fight or flight and we go into protection mode and it can really distort and , I think , prevent our ability to think about the situation that we're in in a clear way and to reason our way through it in a healthy , expedited

kind of way . I think we can really easily , if we don't understand what's happening , we can really get stuck in the overthinking and the rumination and all of that . Here's an example I know another person who in their childhood went through a lot of unfortunate situations .

Some of them were more moderate , some of them were more severe , like trauma kinds of things , and the person at times spends a lot of time looking back at that because it's unresolved , right , unresolved trauma , and thinking about those things puts them into a negative thought loop around their life , their self-worth , all the whys of why that stuff happened and what

they believe the possibilities for their future are . That is their primitive brain trying to reconcile trauma from their past . Now , that's not what I coach on , but it's an example of what we can do to ourselves . Another example I have a former colleague who contacted me this week for help with networking .

Very good at their job , their company went through , is going through , I would say , some difficult things and they've laid off thousands of people high performers doesn't matter .

Lots and lots of people have just lost their job and I'm in the process of helping them network and I was thinking about that and the impact that a layoff a fundamental impact that a layoff has not only on the person and how they feel about themselves , but on the quality of life for their family .

And that would be enough to send most of us not only into some serious questioning about why did this happen to me ? I don't understand . I've always been rated highly , I've always over-delivered or whatever , and it can get you stuck right . So instead of moving forward , you're ruminating about why did this happen ? What does this mean ?

How long is it going to take me to find a job that's similar or better , or will I maybe have to take a step back right ? So there's that that can happen to us in today's modern world . The other thing , you know , the breakup of a long-term relationship can do that . Starting a new job and finding out that it's not everything they promised can do that .

So there's so many things that can happen to us in today's modern world that aren't under our control . All we can do is control the things that we can control . Right , we cannot control all the things that happen around us , all the things that other people do , and so our brain is left to deal with this onslaught of happenings around us .

And since our brain is so active and always on , it's easy to get stuck in either the things that are happening right now or the things that happened in our past that might be unresolved , and to ruminate there and to sit there and ponder it and try to make sense of it and all of that .

And it's really because our brains are programmed with a negativity bias . So when something happens that isn't what we want , it's important to know that your brain has been triggered now and this negativity bias that's present in our brain is going to remain on high alert .

It's trying to sense danger and detect threats and , since something that just happened that has threatened it , it's going to focus on that thing , trying to keep you safe . And if we don't manage our way through that , here's the problem with a negativity bias .

It can lead to distorted patterns of thinking , thought loops that you're continuously stuck in , and you can get into this phase of fixated on the thing that happened in the past or the present and it can lead to a lot of brooding , a lot of overthinking , rumination , obsessing about it .

And the problem with that is that you know your thoughts create how you feel and that negative thought loop keeps you stuck in this place where you're feeling anxious and afraid and panicked , and afraid and panicked , and upset and depressed . And if you don't manage your way through that in a proactive way , you can get stuck there for a long time .

And the problem with that is that the things that we do in our life all of the I call them numbing behaviors overeating over drinking , over Netflixing , any kind of consumption behavior that you're overdoing you're doing because you don't want to feel what you feel , you don't want to feel sad , you don't want to feel upset , you don't want to feel anxious .

So we soothe ourself through this consumption of things . So that's one way that it can get you stuck and really have your actions can have a very negative impact on your life . So there's all kinds of things we do as humans to buffer , to numb ourselves right . So that's one way we can get stuck .

I think another way is that we just get into this thought cycle where one bad , negative thought leads to another , leads to another , leads to another and it becomes this catastrophizing You're imagining and staying stuck in this never-ending cycle of catastrophic thinking about all the possible terrible outcomes this thing might have .

And if you don't recognize that , it very quickly becomes the thing that's directing your life go forward , and that's not what you want . You know patterns of thinking that make you feel anxious , that make you feel depressed , sad .

You don't want to create your future from that place because you can't really see clearly when you're looking through the filter of negativity . You've got to get to a place , no matter what's happening for you right now , where you're able to acknowledge it . You know lying to yourself about negative circumstances isn't going to help , but you need to see it .

But you also need to say okay , I see it and here's what I'm going to try to do to deal with that . But then I think it's really important that you set that aside and detach from it . It's happening . There's nothing you can do . You didn't make it happen , you didn't control . It's not what you wanted .

So I think the best thing to do is to come up with . It's not what you wanted . So I think the best thing to do is to come up with what am I going to do to deal with this and then just do that . But then you need to lift yourself out of the situation and you need to decide to detach from it .

You're not going to spend your time thinking about it . You're not going to spend your time ruminating about it .

What you're going to do is you're going to start figuring out how to do an emotional reset and start moving forward again so you can create a quicker path out of the negative situation and you can , kind of , in the way that you can control , direct your life moving forward , because you do not want to move forward in your life from a place of being in this

negative , destructive thought loop . You want to set that thought loop aside , stop it , and then you want to do a reset and start figuring out . Okay , I accept where I am , but now where do I want to go from here and so I want to walk you through . Like , how do you do that ?

You know , because when something's going on that is threatening if you've just lost your job and let's just say that you and your family have a ton of debt or obligations and maybe you're the only breadwinner that's a mortal like we hear .

We see these headlines in the news about 5,000 people laid off here and 3,000 people here , and I think we become numb to it . But the truth of the matter is like when someone loses their job , that is a very serious thing and I think a lot of companies don't put much thought into managing their workforce in that way .

I've worked for some people who really do take that seriously and are careful not to overhire during good times and things like that . But some companies aren't as careful , or maybe not as good at predicting the ebbs and flows of the economy and when people are laid off the fundamental part , it's like Maslow's hierarchy of needs .

You go from the top of the pyramid , like trying to self-actualize , all the way down to the bottom . You're worried about how to keep the electricity turned on and all of that .

You're lucky if you have reserves , but even that you're not looking at midlife to tap into your savings , right , you want to be able to add to your savings and so , no matter where you're at financially , it's a very stressful thing where the bottom has been pulled out on a key part that makes your life work , and so when you're in that , it's really easy to

get stuck . At a time in your life when you least can afford to be stuck . You need to be moving forward , right . And you know there are other things that happen , like . One of the people I'm coaching is more at the beginning stages I would say early stage career and just has found themselves . They have a really good job , but hate it , you know hate .

It isn't aligned with what they want in terms of the content of the role . They don't like the vibe of the culture and they just kind of , at an early stage , feel a little disillusioned about their career path and what opportunity it might hold right . And so for that person that's a very , very severe crisis .

Early in their career , at a time when they should be experimenting and learning and in a high positive growth cycle , they find themselves in the opposite place , worried about their future , feeling the sense of hopelessness that it's never going to be what they really wanted it to be and not real sure where to go from here .

And I would say that is the biggest problem with the negative thought loop is that if you don't find a way to proactively manage that can't maybe solve the bigger things going on .

But you can solve one thing and that is how you show up in the middle of that , because you want to be able to create your future from the place that is more positive , a place that you're thinking clearly and in the most expansive way about the options for your life . And you're not going to be able to do that If your brain is in fight or flight mode .

If your brain is stuck in catastrophic thinking , you're not going to see things clearly and you're not going to be able to do that if your brain is in fight or flight mode .

If your brain is stuck in catastrophic thinking , you're not going to see things clearly and you're not going to feel good enough about yourself and empowered enough about who you are and what you're capable of that you can even create the future that you want .

And if you find yourself without a job , you don't want to be taking another job from a place of negativity bias ? Right't want to be taking another job from a place of negativity bias right , you want to be taking that job from the most positive , productive place .

You want to be deciding on the right next step for you , not just a next step driven by panic and fear because it's likely to lead you into the next thing that could be just as bad as the thing you've just gotten out of . So I want to talk today about what do you do ?

Because it is very difficult when your brain has taken over and is stuck in this negativity bias , this negative thought loop cycle .

It can lead you to a very dark place where you , emotionally , are at the bottom and you're doing all these behaviors either avoiding behaviors or over consumption behaviors or some of that stuff and it's just leading you to this place where you feel bad about the outcome of that those behaviors and it just self-perpetuates , right ?

You just keep going and keep going and it's just this negative downward spiral , right ? So when you're in that situation , I want you to think of it as something that you are 100% in control of . You just don't think that you are , and I'm going to lead you through four things that I want you to do .

Breaking the Negative Thought Loop

If you find yourself in that place where , whether it's something that has gone on with a relationship in your life , or something's gone on with your job or your business , or your health , or in some fashion , there's something happening that you know has triggered your threat mechanism and you're stuck in the cycle of fear , panic , overwhelm , anxiety , even if it's

something that happened long ago in your past , you can use these four things to help you through it and to help you kind of do an emotional reset , and I think it's super important because that you want to be able to create your future from a more positive , optimistic place . That's when you're going to be your clearest .

That's when you're going to have your most expansive thinking about truly what's possible for you . So the first thing is , I think , one of the hardest , and that is you have to be aware that you're in a negative thought loop cycle .

So I know that sounds like something that should be obvious , but it isn't always obvious , and the reason for that is that we think that the way we feel is about the things that are happening to us , and I know I've said these words before on the podcast , but I really want you to listen here , especially if you're going through something that's difficult .

Here , especially if you're going through something that's difficult , we think how we feel is about the things that have gone on or are going on , that we did not want to happen , that we think are scary , bad , sad , whatever . That is not what's making you feel bad .

What's making you feel bad , what's making you feel negative , what's making you feel negative , what's making you feel anxiety , what's making you feel depressed , what's making you feel scared , is how you're thinking about the thing that's going on , or what you're thinking about the thing that's going on .

Now , when I say that , I'm not saying take something terrible and pretend that it's good , I'm not saying that .

What I am saying is you have to be aware that it's your thoughts and the negative loop of those thoughts that's keeping you stuck , and if you don't change and neutralize , may not get to positive , but if you don't neutralize that negativity , you're going to stay stuck in that place for a very long time and potentially and that's not anywhere any of us want to

be and you don't want to be creating the next six months or the next six years from a place of negativity . You just don't . And so I'm not saying that the events of your life or the events of your past are positive and that you should pretend they're positive .

I'm saying you have to be aware that this pattern of thinking is not serving you and that it's time to make another choice . Let's just start there . So it starts with awareness and a belief . You have to believe that your thoughts are what cause your feelings , not the circumstances of your life .

So we can be in a very sad place , like I've talked about before on this podcast in the past . In a series of eight months I lost both of my parents . Very , very difficult for me and my family , not anything .

Anyone wants to go through Hard to lose one of them , let alone both of them , when , just you know , a couple months before that we thought they were fine . You know aging , but fine . So you know , for me I can't sit here and pretend that's not a negative event in my life . It is . It's one of the most negative events

Dealing With Loss and Moving Forward

in my life . But if I stay in the place as I'm working through my grief of ruminating on that and the unfairness of that and the wishing I didn't live halfway across the country that I could have been with them more Like all of the things that you think when things like this happen , it's not going to get me anywhere .

You know what I have to do as I work through the grief and deal with the very real outcome of the negative thing that happened , which is I lost both of my parents . I choose to do that from a place of being grateful that I had the parents I had , that I had the time I did have , which was a very long time . They lived into their upper 80s .

My father was 90 when he passed away . I mean , it's a nice long life and a good life that they lived . And so I'm processing through how I think about this very profound loss for me from a place of optimism , if that makes sense .

So you can do the same thing if you just lost your job , even if your financial situation is perilous , there's a way to look at it that neutralizes it . Yeah , you can't pretend it's not going on . It is going on , and maybe you do need to make a series of quick moves to start bringing in some money or something like that .

But you need to find a way to shift your thinking from the unfairness of it all , the fear of it all , into a place where you're at least operating from a neutrality and not this catastrophic place , because I think the decisions that you make from a catastrophic place are never going to be the place where you want to build your future from right .

So you've got to have an awareness that , yep , there may be a ton of bad stuff going on , or a lot of bad stuff may have happened in your past . You have to accept that , that it happened . You need to be aware that your thoughts are 100% within your control and that you have the ability to bring it to neutral , no matter what's going on .

So it doesn't matter what's happening . You can bring your thoughts from catastrophe up to neutral . You may not be able to get all the way to positive , like with the loss of my parents . I can't bring it to positive . I mean I just I can't .

But I can bring it to neutral by focusing on how long we had them , how grateful I was for who they were , for the time we had all of that , and , from that place , process through it . I don't want to be processing through grief from a sad , depressed place . I just I don't .

I have to do it from a different place because there's just a lot going on in my life , with my business and just my life in general . I don't want to be stuck for a year or two in this really negative mindset .

So that's number one is be aware that you're not in control of things going on , but you're 100% in control of what you decide to think about it and you can bring your thought to neutral , right . So that's number one . Number two you have to accept it .

So this isn't about reframing it always in terms of you know , yeah , you can get it to neutral , but you can't really pretend that it didn't happen . I don't think that's helpful . There was something that happened in your past that was very upsetting . If there's something that's happening right now that's very upsetting , you kind of have to accept that .

Life just works that way . It's part positive , part negative , and that's the human experience . And if you're in a negative cycle right now , if there's something going on that is not great , I think it's important to accept it . And here's why Because , after the awareness of it all , part of bringing yourself to neutral is that you're seeing it clearly .

Like pretending it's not happening is not helpful , it's not going to solve anything and potentially could just make the problem worse . If you've got something going on , you've got to see it , be aware of how you're thinking about it , like we said number one , so you can start to figure out how to reframe it .

But part of how you reframe it is that you just say this is what's happening , put it in fact-based terms , like for me , my parents passed away within eight months of each other . Okay , that's the fact , it's provable , no one's gonna , no one's gonna try to deny that .

And then now I have to figure out what's the best way to deal with this and to me that's part of acceptance . Yeah , I got a long journey to kind of deal and process through the grief . I mean I still think I just called my mother on Sunday nights . I still think a lot of times , oh , I've got to call mom . And then I think , oh , I can't .

You know , which , I think , is one of the things that happens when we lose people . But you have to get to a place of acceptance . So if you've lost your job or if you've lost a partner or whatever's happening , you have to kind of say , yeah , this is what's going on .

And in the case of , like , a job loss , you kind of , I think have to have a little bit of a plan . You have to in terms of acceptance . You have to say , okay , this happened . Now where am I at in terms of taking care of my base level needs ?

And if you need to do something in the interim , like take on kind of a gig role or a side hustle or something like that , while you're looking for your right next step , which might either be getting another job or starting a full-time business , then do that . Might either be getting another job or starting a full-time business , then do that .

That's part of acceptance is saying I'm going to have a logical plan , not from a place of catastrophe or anxiety or worry . I'm going to just pragmatically say how much do I need to bring in to take care of my base level needs ? And I'm going to do that while I work on this long-term thing which is where am I going from here , right ?

So that's what I mean by acceptance . So , number one , be aware that you may not be in control of the situation . You can always be in control of your thoughts . Number two when you're in that negative place , accept it . Accept that it's happening . You may not like it , totally fine , but you have to say this is happening , I can't control it .

There's a surrender that comes . That , I think , is really important emotionally , because that means you can just kind of let it go . And that's going to be the next thing that we talk about , which is number three .

Once you've , you know , accepted it and come up with like a baseline plan for how you're going to handle it in the interim , then you get to number three , which is you have to detach from it . So think about it this way . That's not saying that's not denying it's happening , that's not pretending that it's less of an impact on you than it is .

It's saying that , hey , in number two , when I accepted it and I came up with this kind of baseline level of how I'm going to handle my way through it , that's now in motion .

I'm just doing that Now , in the detach phase , you've decided to take that problem and set it aside , because now you've already decided how you're going to handle it and you're just going to go through those motions every day . You don't have to ruminate on it , you don't have to think about it anymore .

You just have to take the actions you said you were going to take and detach . That means you're not ruminating on it . You're not thinking about it anymore . You are not even thinking about the actions you're taking in the interim . That's on automatic pilot . Now , what you're doing is you're kind of doing an emotional reset and you're saying you know what ?

This is a new day , my new day and my new moment starts right now , you know , and that's about detaching from the catastrophe . Not pretending it didn't happen , not doing the things you need to do to take care of your life . That was number two . That's acceptance . Now it's like time to start cleansing and deciding how you want to build your life from here .

So that's . Number three is detach . Stop thinking about it . You've already figured out how you want to handle it in the interim . You've already ruminated on it endlessly , about the unfairness or whatever . You can't do anything to change it . Right , that was acceptance .

Now , cleanse your palate , stop thinking about it , and you can just decide to stop thinking about it . Right , that's a choice and it might take a little training . You might find your mind kind of coming back to it , because our mind does that . We have these thought loops , we have these neural pathways built , these ways of thinking .

When we get triggered and if something happens , that brings it up again for you . You might find yourself back in that same negative thought loop . All you do is stay aware of what you're thinking about it and just decide nope , I said I wasn't going to focus on that anymore . I have my plan , I'm sticking to it . I don't have to think about this anymore .

Give yourself a break . Stop thinking about it . It doesn't matter anymore . You're working your way through it . You're about to be on the other side of that problem . You don't have to think about it anymore and like if it's in your past . You don't have to keep dragging that with you . I'm not minimizing it . I don't coach on trauma .

If it was traumatic , I do encourage you to see a trauma therapist so you can work your way through it . But what I want you to know is that we all have things in our past that if we think about , we feel sad , we feel a sense of loss , we feel a sense of there's a wound there .

I think it's very empowering , even though you might not believe it right now , to think about the fact that you don't have to stay . You don't have to think about that anymore . You can just decide to neutralize it . You're past it and you can look for the lessons in it .

If you think there is a lesson in it , and you can just really detach from it and start from that place of detachment from that problem or that situation , start thinking cleanly about your future . And that leads us to the final one , which is number four .

After you've kind of detached and that's a process , because your mind will keep coming back to it and just keep detaching Say nope , I've already acknowledged this , I've already accepted this , I have already gotten an interim plan in place to deal with that . And then you can just say I've detached from it .

And now I think in number four , really do what I think is the fun part , which is to say okay , now that I'm not mired down in all that negativity , now that I'm not limiting myself through my own ways of thinking , now that I'm not limiting myself through my own ways of thinking , now that I'm thinking cleanly and broadly about my possibilities for my future ,

now I'm going to decide where I want to go from here . So that is a place that you wanted . The reason why you kind of want to have the awareness and do the acceptance and the interim plan and detach from that negative thing is when you start to think about your future . You want to have emotionally reset .

You don't want to be making decisions about your future with your primitive brain . You want to be using the prefrontal cortex , which is the front part of your brain . That's the part that modern man has , that our caveman ancestors didn't have . That's the executive function where we get to decide , make decisions and choose .

You know kind of where we go from here . And where we go from here doesn't have to be built from this catastrophe or this catastrophic thing that happened .

Where you go from here can be built from a place of neutrality , and I think that's really important because you don't want to make a series of reactionary decisions in your life about where you go next based on the crappy thing that just happened . You actually want to be making decisions about where you go next from a place of neutrality .

Right , that your baseline's fine . And now what do you want to do ? You don't want to be making decisions from a place of feeling bad about yourself . You're making decisions from a place of anything's possible for me . What do I want to choose here ? Where am I going Right ? So those are the four ways to stop a negative thought loop .

Breaking Negative Thought Patterns

And if you're not 100% sure that you're in a negative thought loop . I just want to ask you a couple of questions , like if you know that sort of some stuff's gone on that you didn't love , whether it was a breakup or you got laid off or whatever something's happened I want you to ask yourself a couple of questions .

So when you get up just think about the past two weeks when you get up in the morning , how do you feel ? How do you feel about your day , the day ahead ? Do you feel neutral ? Do you feel optimistic , or do you feel dread ?

Right , if you feel dread or anything on the more negative side of the thought spectrum , you know dread , worry , panic , fear , depression , any of those things you're probably in some kind of a negative thought loop .

It might've been caused by something that's just gone on recently , or you might've been in that place for a very long time , it doesn't matter how long .

I want you to know that if you follow these four steps , you can actually reset your life and you want to be creating your day ahead and your year ahead and your decade ahead from a place of anything is possible , not from a place of how do I get out of this crappy situation , you know , because that's never going to lead you to your best place .

That's going to lead you to potentially another crappy situation , right ? That's the problem with the negativity bias and the negative thought loop is that as you think those thoughts over and over and over again and that neural pathway gets stronger and stronger and stronger .

Those emotional patterns you have around depression and anxiety , and all of the crap just gets more and more cemented , and so the actions we take are going to be less and less actions that serve us , fewer actions that serve us , and the results we get in our life are going to be not the results we want .

You have to get to this place of neutrality , no matter how long you felt bad , no matter what's going on , and you have the ability to do that . And it doesn't have anything to do with pretending that something didn't happen , with pretending that something negative was more positive than it is . It has nothing to do with that .

It is simply about accepting this is what's gone on and not making that mean anything about you or your self-worth detaching from it , accepting it , coming up with a plan for how to deal with it if you need to do that . Detaching from it , accepting it , coming up with a plan for how to deal with it .

If you need to do that , detach from it and then from that place of neutrality emotional and mental neutrality deciding what you want for your future to be , absent the catastrophe or the crap that's gone on .

So I wanted to talk about this today because I see people at every stage of life in this place and I think you know , while I've been coaching a person that's very early stage career who honestly has the world is her oyster with the quality of her education and her first employment , like she could go literally anywhere from here , she still feels that she's stuck

. She feels trapped was the word she used and that's never going to be a place where we want to create our future from . But the time we get to midlife and we're four decades in or five or whatever it is you know that has the , we're now toting a pretty heavy bag .

Some of us right , there's been a lot of things that have gone on in our life that haven't been great and if we don't purposefully choose how we want to think about it and bring it to neutral , we're potentially coloring our decisions about where we're going next from a place that isn't so great , and that is why I wanted to talk about this today .

So if you feel like you know the answer to your question of how you feel every day is not great , I want you to know that you don't have to stay in that place , and these four things will help you . But if you do feel a little stuck , I want to invite you to go to my Instagram and click on the link in my bio .

There's an option to set up a 30 minute call and I'd love to talk to you about what it is you're going through and give you a little coaching on some ways to think about it that might be different than what you're doing now and , if you think that's something you might be interested in , we could talk about how to set up a one-on-one coaching package that

works for you to get you out of this negative thought loop cycle . For you to get you out of this negative thought loop cycle . I think this is one of the most important qualities and muscles that we can build .

Is this awareness of when we're in these negative thought patterns and to have the self-discipline and the self-command muscles built that we can pivot out no matter what's coming our way Super important when it comes to building the life that we want , because , no matter how you plan your life at least half of it probably it's going to be a series of things you

don't want and you don't want that to in any way weigh you down or limit where you go in the future . So that's what I wanted to talk to you about today . I hope you found the episode helpful and again , if you want to chat , go to my Instagram . Click on my link in my bio and set up a free 30 minute call . I'd love to chat with you Meantime .

Here's wishing you a great week ahead . Do you have a life coach ? If not , I'd be so honored to be your coach . I've created a virtual coaching program and monthly membership called Next Level . Inside , we take the material you hear on this podcast , study it and then apply it . Join me at the purposefulcareercom backslash next level .

Don't forget the purposefulcareercom backslash next level . Join me and together we'll make your career in life everything you dream of . We'll see you there .

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