Ep 151: The Five Ways Imposter Syndrome Shows Up & What to Do About It

It's about having the clarity , self-confidence and unstoppable belief to go after and get everything you want . If you'll come with me , I'll show you how Well . Hello friends . I hope you had an amazing week . This week we are going to continue our discussion on imposter syndrome .

If you haven't had a chance , you might want to go back and listen to last week's episode , because in that episode we talked about what is it , how does it tend to show up and what are the various ways that it impacts our life . I know a lot about this .

As I indicated on last week's episode , I spent most of my I would say the first 20 years of my career , so I'm about 25 years in or so right now . The first 20 years I did not have a handle on it .

I didn't like it Definitely was a force in my life and if it's something that you're living with , I really hope you go back and listen to episode one and I also hope that you take a listen to this episode because in this episode , we're going to take it a little bit deeper and we're going to go a little bit more into the work of Dr Valerie Young .

I mentioned her in last week's episode .

I actually saw her speak at a big writers convention that I was at in 2015 in San Diego , and you know , artists are notoriously contending with imposter syndrome , because I think anyone who creates things , it can really do a number on your self-esteem and your opinion of your content , because it's coming from you , right , it's coming from your brain , and so you

can tell yourself all these things , and so she was really the perfect speaker for a bunch of authors . It was my first exposure to her , and when she walked off the stage , I went immediately back to my room and I ordered her book on Amazon on my Kindle , and I think I spent the rest of the weekend reading it .

She's amazing and she's considered really to be the world's foremost expert on imposter syndrome . She does organizational speeches I think she's done a TED Talk , maybe and she's part of something I think her entity is called the Imposter Syndrome Institute . So she's amazing and I want to talk a little bit today about her work on imposter syndrome .

There was a lot of it to distill through , but one of the things that jumped out to me when I read the book was there are five distinct types , and so I wanted to talk about that today because I think some of the things sometimes and we'll talk more about it when we go through I think sometimes when we're feeling anxiety or when we're noticing patterns of

behavior in ourselves , it's really easy to stop at what I'm calling the surface layer , just my opinion . We might say , oh , I'm a perfectionist or oh , you know I'm . You know I'm sort of a superwoman or something like that .

You know , we have and we'll talk about the different parts in a minute but we have these ideas of ourself and we sort of think it stops there .

But the interesting thing for me when I read that book is I'm like , oh , some of these surface behaviors that are very real things perfectionism , procrastination , all that stuff they're actually part of something much deeper and there's sort of a way in to this how imposter syndrome distinctly shows up in different people .

There's five types and I think it's really interesting to go into that and as I walk through them , I'm going to take you through sort of ? What's her definition of them ?

What are some of the ways that it tends to show up in behavior and what are some short term or easier fixes to it to try to modify the behavior in the short term , like in the moment when you're catching yourself ? Like I said , I truly believe that imposter syndrome , as she says in the book , starts young .

It's programmed in when we're young through either gender stereotypes or environmental conditioning , parental techniques , patterns of behavior , racial stereotypes , ethnic stereotypes , religious stereotypes .

There's so many ways that we can find ourself in this place where we've got these ingrained patterns of thought and ways of thinking about ourselves in the world and it becomes the cycle that we just live with .

And I think the long term fix to that is evolving our self image , because imposter syndrome starts from our young and even despite the feelings of anxiety and uncertainty and self-doubt and all the things that they can perpetuate , many of us and I'm a good example of that push through it right and we just kind of grit our way through life , you know , and we

keep climbing the ladder . The problem with that is that if you don't do the deep inner work to evolve your self image and to quiet that old pattern of thinking about yourself and who you are and all that stuff , that feeling of I'm just a fake , I'm a phony . They're going to find out all of that stuff . It just gets more and more loud in your brain .

I can speak from experience and that's why when I saw her on stage I almost couldn't believe it . It was like my goodness , like she crawled in my mind . She could see all the words that I'm thinking . It was insane . So I want to talk about the five types first and then we're going to end with imposter syndrome cycle .

There's six parts to it and I'm going to walk you through it because you might , as I walk you through these five types and as I walk you through this , you know six part imposter syndrome cycle . I think you might be able to recognize how it's showing up for you and having that awareness is really the perfect part .

But , as I said , as when I go through the five types , I'm going to talk about some quick fixes . It's not the long-term fix , because I think that's identity shift work and I think that takes a lot of inner work . That's part of what I teach in my practice . It's daily self-coaching .

I have a methodology that is based on the cognitive behavioral therapy approach from psychology . It's it works . It gets all the way in , identifies those hidden patterns of thought and helps you work on reframing those . So that's the long-term fix .

But today I'm going to give you ways to recognize when it's showing up for you and what type you are , and some things that you can do today to interrupt that cycle real time .

So let's go ahead and dive in . So the five types I'll lay out the five right now and list them and then we're going to dive into each one . So the five types are number one , the natural genius . Number two , the superhero . Number three , the soloist . Number four , the perfectionist . And number five , the expert .

So let's take each one and go into it a little bit more and talk about some very real ways that this shows up . So let's dive into number one , the natural genius . Now , the natural genius is a person who is blessed with many extraordinary talents . You know , probably know somebody like this , right ? They're naturally gifted at many things .

Might be sports , it might be musical instruments , it might be writing , it might be singing . They've got things about themselves that are just . They're just gifted . Things tend to come to them in those areas , in many areas , easily . Now , that sounds great . It sounds like a good problem to have .

The problem with that , though , is that if you're one of those people and everything you know , school is easy , and you try to master an instrument , and that's easy , and you , you know , you throw yourself into a sport and that's you know something , you master , and you're just kind of good at things .

The problem with that is that , over the course of your childhood because that's when it all starts in childhood you tend to make things mean that everything has to be easy . You have to nail it on the first try , and if you don't , if something's hard , if you faced a little opposition , you know it's hard , and you tend to get frustrated easily .

You can feel ashamed of yourself and tell yourself things like this is too hard , and that means this isn't meant . For me , the problem with that pattern of thought is that it's faulty . The truth of the matter is that nine people out of 10 who try something new , it takes a little while before they're comfortable with it and before they master it .

I mean , think about anything you've done in your life learning how to walk , learning how to ride a bike , even learning how to write your name or like those things . The teacher just put it up on the chalkboard and you instantly could do it , and he knew how to read and write . Oh , it's like it's a process .

For some people , though , when they're naturally gifted at many things and those things tended to come easily they have told themselves it has to be easy or I'm going to get super frustrated .

It's almost like they didn't learn the skill of patience with themselves , self-compassion and just what it means to roll up your sleeves and get in there and become a master at something . It's usually not accomplished right out of the gate . Usually , for most of us it takes a while .

For the natural genius , it's super frustrating when they're not able to do something quickly and , most importantly , perfectly , and B minus or C minus isn't good enough . They have to nail it on the first try and it has to be an A plus effort or the bottom falls out of their world .

They feel totally defeated Some of the symptoms of a person who might feel like they've got imposter syndrome and this is their way into it . A natural genius tends to be the person that got straight A's and maybe was the captain of the tree-leaning squad and always had the perfect date . Maybe was the prom queen .

They've got all of that and it just seemed like life was perfect for them . It isn't that way for most of us , but some people . That's the way it looks , and when you face adversity in your younger years , it teaches you resilience and things like that . When you don't have a lot of headwinds from the outside , it looks great .

It's like wow , I wish I wasn't that person . But the truth of the matter is they don't gain important life skills and they have a way of looking at the world and themselves in the world that's pretty unforgiving and pretty unrealistic . So straight A's with very little effort . Maybe in the family they were known as the smart one .

One of the things they tend to do is they don't ever ask for help because , by the way , when they were younger they didn't need any help . They could figure everything out on their own and they did everything , and they were probably one of those kids that , when they were younger , super easy to parent , weren't a lot of trouble , very self-directed .

You have a hard time trying new things , maybe as you get older , because you might fear that you won't be perfect at it . So a lot of us have a fear of failure and we can hold ourselves back because we're worried that we're going to try it and we're not going to be good at it , we're not going to know how to do it or whatever .

These people are definitely afraid of that because , remember , it's not just a fear of failure they're worried about . They're worried about not being absolutely perfect on the first try . It's a very extreme form , it's a very high standard that they have for themselves and that they have to live up to , or they just feel like they're totally a failure .

So the quick fixes there are . You have to understand if that's you . So if what I said rang true , you might try reframing your expectations of yourself and try to view yourself as you don't have to get everything perfect , like we all know that .

But people that have this way into imposter syndrome really might intellectually know oh , I know , I don't have to be perfect on everything , but they still hold themselves to that standard . So be honest with yourself .

If you see yourself in this behavior , be honest and say , hey , how can I think about the work that I do and the things that I want to try and make it okay that I don't have to be the master of all . It's okay to kind of muck around a little bit , you know .

Allow yourself to try new things without having to be perfect , and view your life or any new things that you want to try as a test and learn opportunity . So that is the natural genius . Okay . Type two is the superhero . Now , the superhero is kind of just what it sounds like .

You push yourself to work harder and harder to measure up , because the truth is , what's driving you forward is really this growing angst and fear , hot burning fear that you're a phony , and so you become a superhero . In order to try to outrun the feeling that you're a phony , you overwork . It helps you soothe your inner anxiety .

Other people look at you and say why can't you just chill out , like take the weekend off , like stop hitting the computer , you know when the kids go to bed or whatever your pattern is . And the truth of the matter is , though , you can't , because you're working isn't necessarily as much about the tests that have to get done or your love for the work .

It might be a little bit of that , but it's mostly about you have this raging inner anxiety or insecurity , and it's very hard for you to not work . You're working , you're superhero .

Overdoing it and over delivering keeps you kind of calmer , right , you don't have that angst because you , by over delivering and working all the time , you're taking the possibility of failure or not being perfect kind of off the table

right . A problem with it is that it's really hard on your own mental health and it's also very , very hard on your relationships with friends , with your family and sometimes even your coworkers , right ? Especially if you're a boss . Oh , my goodness , you know , no one wants a boss who's a superhero .

Because they are the ones I had one one time who were emailing you at 11 30 at night and if you don't respond , they think that you've really dropped the ball . And it literally had to say to one boss I will not be responding to your emails between the hours of midnight and 5am .

Like , I'm sorry , I have to sleep , you know , and it was just , she just did not get it . It was interesting . But the truth is that the superhero is addicted to the validation or the self soothing that comes from working . It calms them down , not addicted to the actual work themselves , right ?

So outside , looking like family , can look at it and say , gosh , they really must love their job , you know . But the truth is they're petrified that they're going to be found out to be a fake or an imposter or a phony . So some of the symptoms of the superhero never able like the phone is an extension of their hand .

They are compulsively checking email all the time . Right , they are responding all the time . If they wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water , they might check their email , and if there's something in their inbox , they might even respond at 1am . Right , I've done it . So I know what that's like . Every vacation is a working vacation .

So I'm going to admit it . I had some of this in me as well . I didn't expect my people to do it , but I held myself to that standard because I was had this raging anxiety . Right , every vacation is a working vacation . I talked last week and the week before . Yeah , I've been on vacation and walking through animal kingdom one time . That's just one example .

There's many examples , lots of canceled vacations . It's all about work , work , work , work , work . Right , some superheroes look to others for validation . Some superheroes they're always getting a degree or another certificate . They're always credentialing . I'm a lifelong learner . I take courses all the time . I have my own certifications .

I'm even thinking about going back . I want to go to U Penn and I have a certification from there on positive psychology , but I think I want the actual master's degree . So I'm thinking about that . But you're always credentialing up .

So you have to ask yourself there am I credentialing because I want to further my education for me , or am I credentialing because I know it's going to look good to other people ? Not that you don't care about that , because it's nice to go to a good school and do good things .

But you know that if you're credentialing up , not because it's going to further the knowledge , but because of how it's going to look to others , you know that that's probably one of the ways that you are trying to prop yourself up and feel less like a phony , right ?

So there's , you got to get underneath that because I can promise you you can get that degree and it could be from the top university .

You're still going to feel like a phony until you fix what's going on in your mind , until you evolve yourself image from where it started and where it got ingrained when you were young to where you are now and bring that self image forward so it aligns with where you are and where you want to go .

This was me for years You're the first in and you're the last to leave . I didn't do it in the most recent years , but back in the early stages of my career , when I had my first kind of big breaks .

Yeah , I mean , getting in at 4am into the office was not unusual , right , and you know , leaving at 530 or whatever , and then driving home and then hitting the laptop again , right , that is the superhero .

So the quick fix , like I said , the long term fix is self image , but the quick fix , you've got to have some boundaries and you're going to have to hold yourself to it . Like , that is something that you can work on with a coach . I work with many people on this .

So , if you're interested , you can go to my Instagram and click on the link in my bio and there's a link to set up a free 30 minute call with me . Like , if you think this is something you're suffering from , I invite you to do that . It's free , there's no obligation . You don't have to sign up for anything . I don't do a hard sell , like my clients .

Some of my clients have been with me for two years . Like , I don't . I'm not a hard sell person , I just want to help people . So and that is my focus . So , if you want to talk , do that , but boundaries are number one for you and you got to live with them . Second , don't look to other people to validate you . You don't need it .

You don't need a credential , you don't need a certification and you don't need anyone to tell you what your value or worth is . Look inside and find that in yourself , because it is there . If you're a superhero and you're that capable and you're moving ahead , you don't need anyone's validation .

You need to appreciate your own estimate of yourself and let that be enough . Right , stop making feedback Mean that you've fallen short .

Superhero thinks they're perfect , they're above it all , there's nothing wrong with what they're doing , like , and if someone says anything to the contrary , even if it's constructive criticism , they make it mean that they are bad , right , and the whole , the bottom falls out of their world .

And I think maybe most importantly , schedule some time to pursue a passion or hobby not associated with work . For me , even before this business , I started writing . I mentioned this last week when I said I'm an imposter syndrome . Yes , I've written two romantic comedies . I'm getting ready to start writing again .

I haven't really done it in five years and I wrote them under a pen name . I mean , that is the number one hallmark of imposter syndrome . Like I went to the trouble and spent a year on each book and they did pretty well , but it's under a pen name , like that is ridiculous .

But my point is that hobby really gave me a new passion and it disrupted the pattern For me . It started to quiet it down a little bit . So find something that you care about and do it . Most importantly , though , sets and boundaries . Number three the soloist . So for the soloist , it's just like it sounds .

They are self-reliant and it's about more than just being a self-starter or being independent . They are independent at all costs . They believe that they have to do something on their own and if they don't , they're a phony .

They do not like sharing the stage , not necessarily because they want all the credit , but because they want to prove to themselves that they can do it , and if they are doing it with someone else , it somehow reduces it in their own eyes .

So they get their satisfaction from being able to figure it all out and do it 100% on their own , and that is a crucial way that to themselves , they prove their value and their self-worth , not only to others , but to themselves . So bottom line for a soloist , asking for help equals failure . So they don't . They do everything on their own .

So some of the key symptoms are just like they sound you believe you must accomplish things on their own , but you might not be sure why . You may be aware that that's a thing that you have , that it's hard for you to collaborate , or hard for you to work well with others , or hard for you to be a part of a team , but maybe you're not sure why .

So it's possible that you've got this soloist thing wired in . You never ask for help is a symptom , even if you're really struggling , even if you really do need help .

Maybe you're tackling something you don't know and instead of reaching out to a colleague or somebody like that , no , you've got to figure it out on your own , and doing it on your own is a badge of honor and proof to yourself of your competence and value , right ?

So again , the long-term fix is self-identity work , but shorter term be aware that no-transcript , this sounds like you right be aware if you're in this soulless pattern , if you're somebody who feels like I have to do all of this myself and I can't ever ask anyone for help . If this is you , I need you to work on just some thoughts around .

It's okay To ask for help . It doesn't mean that I'm not capable or not good at my job . Next time you're struggling , make a point to reach out to someone that you respect , that you think could give you a good perspective .

When you start training yourself to do that and making it not a bad thing , you become more and more comfortable and you'll get that neural pathway .

That new one that you're trying to set into place will get stronger and stronger and stronger and hopefully the soulless thoughts that are in there that I have to do this on my own or whatever will sort of get weaker and weaker and weaker .

So you need to pick some new thoughts like it's okay , there's no shame in asking for help and just promising yourself that the next time you're struggling a little bit or not sure which way to take it or even just want some input or different perspective , it's okay , you'll reach out to someone that you trust and that you value to get their perspective and

you'll make that be okay . It doesn't mean you cheated , it doesn't mean you can't do it . It just means , hey , I want it to be the best it can be and I'm going to ask for some other perspective .

You might also try to find a mentor , because sometimes in this kind of a case , where it's about reaching out and building a network and collaborating , sometimes a mentor can help with that particular kind . Number 4 is the perfectionist . I think a lot of us know what that is . I have also done a podcast on the different types of perfectionism .

It shows up in some different ways , so you might want to go back and check my past podcast . I can't remember what number it is , but it's an interesting one . I did some research on perfectionism . I took a bunch of notes and then that's what I used to do that podcast with .

It's an interesting thing because when I did that , I've never considered myself a perfectionist . I don't see myself as perfect . When I did that research , I realized I do have a specific type because I do have really high standards and that episode really helped me . If this sounds like you , I want you to go back and listen to that episode too .

Just scroll through until you find the three types of perfectionism . I'll talk about it a little bit here as it relates to imposter syndrome . We know that perfectionists have incredibly high standards . Nothing wrong with that . We should all have high standards and hold ourselves to them . But the perfectionism thing is about unrealistically high standards .

There are standards that no one could hit and they hold themselves , and the problem is everyone else to those standards . Now no one else is going to want to sign up for your excessively high standards . If that's free , that's you . It's bad enough that you're putting them on yourself .

But you know , when you work with others , either on a team or if you manage people , it is not great because everyone is always going to fall short of your falsely high standards and that's not pleasant . So it can ruin relationships and really tear down working relationships with peers or director ports , things like that .

So the cycle of perfectionism is really hard because it's like you've set these standards that can't be hit . You don't hit them and then you're consumed with worry and self-doubt and beat yourself up relentlessly for falling short , you know , and you're just in this loop where you're just feeling hopeless and you wonder if you'll ever measure up .

And of course you won't because no one can measure up to those standards because they're falsely . They're about perfection and no one is perfect , right . So for the perfectionist it's this I have to be perfect or else I'm not worthy , right

? Achievement or success for these people is rarely satisfying because you believe you could have or should have done better . And I will say that's the part that I relate to . I never really thought of myself as a perfectionist , I think you know , for a long time I thought of myself as too hot , messish to kind of be a perfectionist .

But I do have incredibly high standards for the work that I do and no matter what I've achieved , I usually find myself saying some version of oh yeah , but it would have been so much better if I would have done X , y , z right . So I've got a little of it in me and I think a lot of us do if we've got imposter syndrome . So what are the symptoms ?

Well , some perfectionist managers have a hard time delegating and when they do , they're usually crushingly disappointed because no one is going to deliver things to the level of standard that they've set , unless they've got imposter syndrome themselves . Right .

You have been accused , maybe , of micromanaging because you think well , if I want it done right , I got to do it myself , you know , because that person's not going to be able to do it . And when you fail to meet your insanely high bar , you feel like a failure and when in reality it's just the insanely high bars , unrealistic right .

So you need to find a more realistic bar and then you really think that you and your work must be 100% perfect 100% of the time , which of course is not possible . So most people who I would say are on the far end of the perfectionist scale know they're a perfectionist .

I'm probably somewhere in the bottom 50% , but you know , because I didn't really attach to it . But I see now some aspects of myself that fit it . But the fixed short term is just you've got to be aware of triggering events and we'll talk about that a little bit during what we talked about the imposter cycle . Next , you need to embrace imperfect action .

What I'm about to say you will not accept right now , but I challenge you . If this is you , you need to start thinking of thought like B minus work is perfectly fine . That will seem like sacrilege , but it's true and you just got to take the burden off of yourself Because it's not a great life when you've got .

You're trying to be this like falsely perfect person . You're never going to hit it , so you're just going to be miserable all the time . Learn to view things more as a test and learn versus a win or lose . Stop being mean to yourself when you fall short .

So all the nasty things that you say about I should have done this and I shouldn't have done that , and I never do this and I never do that . It's got to . You've got to kind of retool those patterns of thought and if this is you , I really encourage you to get a coach .

The coach can teach you new ways of thinking , new ways of being , to give yourself some peace , to put down , stick that you've been beating yourself with your entire life and be kind to yourself . That's what you deserve , right ? Remind yourself that there are many ways to do something . This is really good for perfectionist managers .

It doesn't have to be your way right , or even what you consider to be the best way . Let your people do the work to bring their own skills and talents to it . It doesn't have to be accomplished in your way . They just have to get done to a relatively high standard . So that's the perfectionist , and the last one is the expert .

Now the expert measures , their competence and their worth based on what and how much they know , and they believe that they will never know enough . So you over credential and you over credential , and you take course after course and you get degree after degree so that you can prove to who I don't know , but to the world and to yourself , your value .

And you also fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable . I truly believe I have a little bit of this one too , and I think it's where my fear of public speaking came in . There was literally no way I was going to sign up to speak on a stage in front of hundreds or thousands of my peers unless someone literally held a gun to my head , you know .

Or , in the case of , I talked about an example . I think it was episode 10 in the confidence switch . I talked about a time in my professional life where there was no way out . My boss was making me do it and what it took to get me on that stage and the fact that I did well , but it was just like it was like deaf .

I thought I would rather be dead right now than up here on the stage . It was horrible and it was that sentence . It was like I fear being exposed as inexperienced or unknowledgeable , like I felt like I couldn't possibly have interesting or insightful information to share , even though I know I did .

But I just thought who wants to hear me prattle on for 20 minutes ? Right , it just was , it just felt wrong . So for the expert , you know they don't think they'll ever know enough , ever .

Like there's no level of knowledge that would make them think that they have something interesting or important to say , and so they avoid situations where for you , you believe you will never know enough . So you avoid situations where you're going to be presented as someone knowledgeable , right , the expert is just a trigger for you .

So some of the symptoms here you will not apply for a job unless you can check every single box . I think many women in general fall into this category . It's something that is interesting . It's like in a job description most women will say , oh , there are two things on it , so I can't , really I'm not qualified , you know .

And most men looking at the same thing would say I've got most of it , I'll just go ahead and toss my hat in the ring . The truth of the matter is that you don't have to know everything .

No one knows everything right If you know most of the things and you've got the baseline level of knowledge apply for the job , right , it's like that is gonna be a great growth opportunity for you . So you seek endless knowledge because you just wanna make sure that you know everything . And the truth is you can't know everything you know .

You don't like being referred to as an expert , but the truth is you kinda crave it too , right ? Remember , the people who have imposter syndrome of all types tend to be the high achievers .

So there's something driving you forward , but at the same time , there's something holding you back and you'll never know enough in your own mind to be considered a knowledgeable or an expert , right ? So , of course , the fix , as I said throughout this whole thing , is self-identity work .

But , shorter term , realize that it's great to be a lifelong learner I consider myself that but don't use it as an excuse to hide right and learn to change your view on why you're seeking new knowledge . New knowledge is great , new knowledge to enhance your offerings or to move you in a new direction , or whatever it is .

If it's for you , do it , but if it's for how it's gonna look to others , I'd question it . Right ? There's nothing wrong with going to a good school , like I wanna go back and do my positive psychology thing , but I'm doing that for me . I don't like care what anyone thinks , right ?

So that's to me the filter on that one , and you might try to help bolster how you see yourself . You might try like just doing a little volunteering of your expertise to those in need . It might give you more of a voice to help yourself , view yourself more as an expert , right ? So I think this is a big one for coaches .

You're putting your own content , your own point of view , out in the world in the early stages because it's something new to yourself . It feels very intimidating and for me , this podcast was a key way that I gained my own voice .

So at some point you just have to put yourself on that platform and put your point of view out into the world and be okay with the fact that you just don't know everything . And that's okay , right ? So those are the five types of imposter syndrome .

I wanna talk briefly before we end this episode about the cycle , because there is a cycle to imposter syndrome and it starts with a trigger , right . So that's usually something new . Something new , a new job , a new promotion , a big new project or task , something where your visibility is raised , where you're sort of getting a bit more exposure .

That tends to be one of the big triggers , right ? So it starts with that . And then you have a thought about that , right , and the thought's probably coming from one of those five types , right ?

So I'm a mix of types , so sometimes you might feel it's more of an expert trigger , sometimes it might be more of a perfectionist trigger , like you can be all five types . It could be super or a thing . I think I've got most of them .

So , depending on what the trigger is , you're gonna have a thought related to that big project or big new title or big new job , whatever it is that's going to get you started in this cycle . That thought could be something like I'm gonna fail , I can't do this , I don't know enough to be considered an expert .

I don't have the credentials I need to be able to accomplish this role .

Whatever it is you're thinking that is gonna cause you to feel some version of the imposter emotions anxiety , you know , self-doubt , all of that stuff that comes up , fear , uncertainty , all of those angstful emotions are gonna make that thought's gonna make you feel , and then you're gonna head into the actions , coming out of that emotion over preparation , procrastination

, overworking , all the superhero stuff like avoidance . Whatever it is that you're feeling is coming from what you're thinking which was triggered by the new thing that you're doing . So this is the start of the cycle , right ?

And then as you get into it , you're doing all these angstful things , these overworking things , these late nights and all the stuff that we do when we've got imposter syndrome right , you get it done , so you complete the assignment and you've got this brief feeling of relief because it's done and a sense of accomplishment .

But it's angstful , right , cause it came out of those anxiety , fear , uncertainty-based emotions . And so also , a big thing about imposter syndrome is overthinking . So when we're done , we don't just finish , we ruminate and overthink on did I do a good enough job ? What's everyone gonna think ?

Or if we succeeded in a big way , we'll say , oh , I was just lucky , or it wasn't good enough , somebody else would have done a better job . So now we're overthinking and we once again , because we're thinking those things , we just get right back into the angstful emotion because , remember , our thoughts always cause our feelings .

Our feelings don't just appear , you know , it's not just because you finished the assignment or you got the new assignment . It's the things you're feeling . All these angstful emotions are caused by what you're thinking .

So when you have the angstful emotions and you finish the task with those angstful emotions , you're gonna probably overthink and criticize yourself and cut yourself down and tear yourself apart and beat yourself up by saying it wasn't good enough , I should have done better . And then that's gonna cause even more self-doubt , anxiety and feeling like a fraud .

Right , that's the cycle . So now you're just sitting there waiting for the next big project or task and because you probably not only finished , you were super human about it , you probably did a good job and now you're just gonna get another project and you're just gonna spin like that again and again and again .

So you have a trigger , you have a thought about that trigger and the thought's not a good thought , right , a cutting yourself down thought that causes you to feel the angstful emotions . The angstful emotions because the things we do or don't do always come from how we're feeling .

So when we're feeling all stirred up , then we head in and complete the assignment , but we do it with all these impostery type of actions . We're working 25 hours and we're being mean to ourself and we're procrastinating and we're being perfectionist and all of that stuff .

And then when we're done , we overthink and say we should have done better , should have been easier , I should have been more perfect , and then that causes even more feelings of self-doubt , anxiety , feeling like a fraud . That is the cycle . So I could wax poetic on this . I know this has been a longer podcast , but this is important stuff .

I understand the impact this can have on your life and it's not fun . And the only way to change it long-term is with self-identity work , like self-image work . You have to shift all of those things that got hardwired in when you were young because they're just not true .

They're just thoughts that got programmed in and that you've let run on repeat for your whole life . You can change those . It does take some work and some diligence and I teach an approach that will help you do that .

But you might wanna listen to this episode more times because there are I did share for each type some quick fixes that you could think of and start working on in the near term . So thank you so much for joining this week and until next time , make it a great week , my friends , do you have a life coach ? If not , I'd be so honored to be your coach .

I've created a virtual coaching program and monthly membership called Next Level . Inside we take the material you hear on this podcast , study it and then apply it . Join me at thepurposefulcareercom backslash Next Level . Don't forget the thepurposefulcareercom backslash Next Level . Join me and together we'll make your career and life everything you dream of .

We'll see you there .