You’re listening to The Purposeful Career podcast with Carla Hudson, episode #2.
Hi, I’m Carla Hudson, corporate brand strategist turned entrepreneur and life coach.
Whether you’re on the corporate or entrepreneur track (or both), creating the success you want happens from the inside out. It’s about having the self-confidence, decisiveness, and unstoppable belief to go after everything you want. Let’s go.
Hey there! I am SO glad you joined me today.
We’re going to talk about Goal Setting with Conviction. Or as I like to call it, Mission Impossible.
Because believe it or not, it’s that time of year again.
The time for setting goals. For thinking of all the things we’d like to achieve this year.
I know I know…given the year we’ve just come out of; the idea of setting goals might seem a little pointless.
I mean, 2020 is probably still having a little laugh at those of us who had the audacity to set goals last year.
Or buy annual planners.
Now THAT was a waste of money. Am I right?
2020 made it pretty clear to all of us that it was the one holding the reigns last year.
And we’re certainly not yet out of the woods when it comes to this virus.
But the truth is, if you’re someone who dreams of doing big things, you NEED goals.
You NEED a compelling vision that drive you forward.
That pushes you to do more than you thought you could do.
Even when circumstances crop up that might make those goals more difficult to achieve.
When you have that vision - that passion - it drives you forward.
And even if circumstances like a virus or a reorg or a layoff happen that would seem to prevent us from fully reaching our desired outcome,
because we have that thing driving us forward, we’ll end up further along than we’d be if we just waited for our external circumstances to be perfect.
Because pandemic, reorg or no, there’s never going to be a perfect time to do something big.
So, let’s dive in.
You’re probably wondering why I’m calling this Your Mission Impossible.
I do it because I like this phrase better than goals.
The words are more powerful. Right?
In fact, according to *yourdictionary.com*, a goal is defined as ‘something you aspire to or wish to do.’
Think about that for a sec.
“Aspire?”
Wish to do?”
Sounds kind of optional.
Those words lack passion.
Conviction.
They don’t inspire a ‘do it or die’ kind of emotion.
And if you don’t FEEL that do it or die commitment to your goals, well let’s face it, you’re probably going to give up on them.
Right?
I mean, only 55% of us stick with our new year’s resolutions for more than a few weeks.
Think about that for a second.
Most of us quit on ourselves just a few weeks into the new year.
I know at many times in my life, I have.
But sometimes – notable time – I haven’t. And so over time I started to think, why have I quit on myself on some things but not on others.
When I didn’t quit, it was because I had a deep commitment to making that thing happen.
And in last week’s episode we talked about The Model, so we know that what we feel – our emotions – come from our thoughts.
So in the past, when I didn’t quit even when something got hard, it was because I chose to think a thought like “THIS. IS. HAPPENING.”
When you have a thought like that, it inspires all kinds of emotions.
All good.
Things like confidence. And fierce commitment.
So, that’s why I prefer to think in terms of Mission vs. goal.
It’s a purposeful word.
According to yourdictionary.com, Mission means “a goal or ambition to which a person or group is especially dedicated.”
It’s those words “especially and dedicated” that make the choice of Mission so perfect.
Especially says the goal isn’t just a random idea.
It’s important to you.
And dedicated says it’s not just a passing fancy. You’re committed to making it happen.
So, why the Impossible part?
Because most of us have been taught to view goals as something that needs to be realistic or achievable.
The whole SMART goals thing. You know…specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time bound?
I agree with most of those things - and I mean, who doesn’t love a good acronym, so SMART is catchy – it’s the achievable part that’s the problem.
Why?
Because it limits us to playing it safe.
To choose only those things that can be easily achieved.
And I get it.
It can be helpful psychologically when we can easily step into belief on doing something new.
Especially if you’re a check-the-box sort of person.
Some folks – including me – get immense satisfaction from ticking off completed tasks.
So, it’s fine if you need some of those things. Go ahead and set some more moderate goals.
But I truly believe you need at least ONE Mission Impossible for the year.
Something that lights you up.
That inspires you every single time you think of it.
The important thing to know is that when you choose a Mission Impossible for the year, there’s an incredibly good chance that you won’t achieve it.
But guess what?
Even if you don’t get all the way to the goal line, by choosing a mission so far outside your comfort zone – by not being realistic but instead, being aspirational – you will set yourself up for quantum growth.
You didn’t go for incremental growth.
You made a grand leap forward.
This is how we make big, bold strides in our career or business. By pushing ourselves.
Or maybe better said, by dreaming of doing inspirational things.
But those big bold strides will bring up all kinds of discomfort.
So, let’s talk for a moment about discomfort.
If you’re like most people, your Mission Impossible will bring up all sorts of fear and self-doubt.
Fear of judgment.
Fear of failure.
Fear of losing friends or family if you DO achieve that thing.
Lack of self-belief.
Lack of self-confidence.
The “who am I to do xyx” thought that’s the hallmark of Impostor Syndrome.
And if you’re not careful, the fear and self-doubt will cause you to quit before you even really try.
Why?
To avoid failure.
But really, quitting to avoid failure IS failing. You’ve just chosen to fail in advance.
Many times, we think this type of failure is better than REALLY FAILING because nothing has been lost.
We tell ourselves we haven’t REALLY FAILED because we CHOSE to quit. We CHOSE not to try.
And then we’ll give ourselves all kinds of reasons to justify why we did that.
Sound familiar?
Think about a time when you set a goal – maybe to lose weight or to get a new job or to start that new business or side hustle – and you went after it for a month or two, you quit.
WHY did you quit?
And how did you FEEL after you quit?
Sometimes quitting feels good. You feel relieved, right?
Why?
Because the pressure is off.
Now you don’t have to push yourself to learn new things.
You don’t have to experience discomfort.
Or put yourself out there in a new – maybe even SCARY – way.
You don’t have to experience the pain of giving it your all and THEN falling short.
No. You CHOSE to stop trying.
And the instant you did, you felt relieved.
But somewhere…deep down inside…you feel disappointed.
Because once again you’re playing small, so you don’t risk outshining others.
Once again you didn’t follow through.
Once again, you quit on yourself.
That’s how passion dies, my friend.
This is a new year. A clean slate.
I encourage you to approach 2021 in a bold new way.
Sure, you can set some goals that feel more realistic if you want to feel that little jolt of dopamine when it comes to achieving something.
But pick one Mission Impossible.
Make sure it’s something you really want.
Something that is a big bold dream.
Something that’s not realistic.
Then, spend a little time self-coaching on this.
Here’s how you do that.
Carve out 15 – 20 minutes.
Write your Mission Impossible on a sheet of paper.
And then start writing down all the thoughts that come up for you when you look at that Mission.
Hopefully, you’ll have a bunch of thoughts that come up that are positive or encouraging. Things like “I’ve got this.”
“I was meant for this.”
But most of us will find that when we choose a Mission Impossible, it’ll bring up thoughts that are more self-limiting. They might be things like…
“Well, THAT will never happen.”
“I’m going to fail.”
“People will laugh at me.”
“I can’t do that.”
“I’ll never achieve that.”
“People will think I’ve lost my mind.”
“I’m worried I’ll lose friends.”
“I don’t want to look stupid.”
It doesn’t matter what comes up for you. The goal here is to get it all down on paper.
There’s power in seeing the thoughts that are in your mind.
Just keep writing until you get all those thoughts – both positive and negative – down on paper.
When you’re done, scan the list.
What surprises you?
Were there more positive, empowering thoughts than you expected?
Or were they all negative and self-limiting?
Pick one thought that jumps out at you as the most negative, self-limiting, or troubling.
It might not even be a thought you were aware that you had until you saw it written on paper.
Now, ask yourself how you feel – what emotion comes up – when you have that thought?
For example. “I’m going to fail” might make you feel “self-doubt” or “fear”.
Do you want to feel that way about yourself and your possibilities?
Of course not.
And guess what? You don’t have to feel that way.
Listen, I get it.
Choosing a Mission Impossible is scary.
I’ve felt frightened by some of my ambitions for much of my life.
When I was younger, I found it much easier to brush the fear and self-doubt aside and push myself forward.
In the last episode, I talked about some of the transitions I’ve gone through in my career.
One of the biggest was going back to school as an older student to finish my degree. And once I got it, then I transitioned out of my job as a hair stylist – which paid my way through school – to move into corporate marketing.
That transition was harder than I expected.
I’d worked so hard and so long for my degree, I expected to be elated.
But in reality, the transition brought up all kinds of negative emotions.
I felt sad because my thought about my clients was, “I’ll never see them again.”
Or fear because my thought was “Maybe I’m not good enough to do well.”
And there was a lot more where that came from.
But 28-year-old Carla pushed through those negative emotions because my stronger, overriding thought was “This is happening.” Which made me feel “deeply committed.”
There was a “do it or die” element to it.
And the power and passion behind those words drove me to keep going until I created the success I wanted.
I just did a bunch of this work on myself because for me, starting this business has been more of a challenge than I expected.
After all, I spent my career growing brands and businesses. I know digital advertising. So what was the problem?
For me the focus was more on what I had to give up – a career I love – in order to do that new thing.
So my thoughts were “I’m not sure I’m ready to do this” or “Why should I give up something I love for something new that I’m not sure I’ll like as well” or “What if I’m not successful?”
And of course, those thoughts made me feel “self-doubt,” “uncertainty,” even “fear.”
It wasn’t until I realized that I could allow myself to do both, for now at least – to stay in that corporate job I love while ALSO having my business as a side hustle, that I gave myself permission to do it.
So, I overcame my initial fear by saying “I can do both.” And that took some of the fear away.
But some self-doubt was still there.
There was the fear of being judged.
The fear of putting myself out there.
The classic Impostor thought of “Who am I do to xyz?”
All of that.
And I kind of got stuck there for awhile.
It wasn’t until I looked back to that first big transition and remembered the thought my younger Carla chose, which was “This is happening” that I shook myself loose.
When I started thinking THAT about this business, I was able to once again, channel the emotion of feeling “deeply committed” to moving forward until I created exactly the business I wanted.
And here we are.
Friends, getting over your fear of failure so you give yourself permission to really go for the things you want…it’s all in your control.
Once you choose your Mission Impossible and get in touch with those self-limiting beliefs you have stored in that brain of yours, you can choose new thoughts.
Thoughts that empower you.
Thoughts that drive you forward.
Thoughts that allow you to get comfortable being uncomfortable.
And that’s the frame of mind and emotion that will drive you forward in 2021.
If this sounds interesting, I invite you to download the worksheet we’ve developed for you.
It’ll walk you through the exercise of choosing YOUR Mission Impossible.
And it’ll help you get in touch with all the limiting thoughts that bold new mission might bring up.
Just remember.
That brain of yours is a powerful thing. It’s got thousands and thousands of past experiences stored away.
And it’s generating like 50,000 thoughts a day.
When your brain serves up a thought that makes you fearful, it’s important to remember that your brain is just trying to keep you safe.
To avoid having you put yourself out in the world in a way that might cause you to fail.
For our ancestors, this was very helpful because it kept them in the cave, where it was safe and warm by the fire, instead of venturing out on their own where they might get eaten by the lion.
But now the lions aren’t real.
Now, the lion – the thing to fear – is just a thought in your head.
You can choose to override this.
You can choose a new thought, something like “This is happening” or “I’ve got this” or “I’m doing it.”
Whatever works for you.
That new thought will shift you from fearful and uncertain to confident and committed.
When you hold on to that thought, you won’t quit on yourself like you might have done before.
You’ll keep going.
Even when it’s hard.
Even when you’re not sure what to do next.
Even when you try something and you don’t succeed on the first time.
Even if people you know or care about say judgmental things.
Best of all, even if you DO fail to achieve YOUR Mission Impossible this year, think of how just going after it will cause you to grow.
Think of how much further down the line it’ll bring you vs. if you just choose something safe that you KNOW you can easily achieve.
If you’ve got big plans, big dreams, choose a Mission Impossible.
Then do the worksheet for this podcast episode.
And then, get going.
Because you deserve everything you dream of and then some.
Remember, the career or business you want doesn’t happen by accident. It happens on purpose.
Make it a great week, my friends.
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