¶ Grandma's Influence
Hey friends , welcome to the Problem with Perfect . What is the Problem with Perfect ? It's the myth that if we just do more , be more and have more , our lives will be perfect . I'm Robin May , a journalist , wife , mother and , most days , a faith-filled Christian .
And I'm Denise Bickel , a clinical therapist , educator , mom Mimi and spirit-filled follower . As recovering perfectionists , we promise to be transparent and real and to share the wisdom of trusted advisors and guests .
So pull up a chair and have a seat . There's always a place for you at our table , our table . Welcome back to another episode of the problem with perfect . Well , denise , here we are , here we are . This is a first for me , and I'll tell our listeners why I and I'm laughing .
And you're laughing because I just think back to whenever you started being my co-host and you were like so unsure of yourself and so unsure whether or not this was something that you really wanted to do or be a part of , and then fast forward . Here we are , more than a year later , and you were like hey , I've got this episode .
All I need you to do is show up and talk to me . That's right .
Yeah , it couldn't be any easier for you , for me , exactly , exactly , yeah , well , good , well , I'm glad . I'm glad that you're here with me this evening , robin . We do have a special episode , but before we dive into that , you have mentioned lately that Matt and Rachel bought a house and that you're helping them get moved in . That's so exciting .
They have a wedding coming up , so that's very exciting , very exciting , very exciting . And then you talked about you have a new job , and that's very exciting . And so I think that's all the exciting news you have , unless there's something else you'd like to share with our listeners .
Wink , wink , nod , nod , yes , yeah , so the thing that I have like been biting my tongue to talk about for several months , we're going to talk about that today , I think , right , yes , yes yes , and so thank you , denise , for whatever you have up your sleeve .
I think it does show that I have full confidence in you and that you have full confidence in yourself to be my co-host , because you've completely ramrodded this what I'm sure will be a delightful episode .
But secondly , this big thing that's going on in my life that I haven't been able to share , or I've been really cautious about sharing , is because it's really in so many ways not my news to share . It's Maddie and Kyle's news to share . But here we are , fast forward . We are at 31 , almost 31 weeks of pregnancy .
So , yes , so in just a few short months weeks , you know , whenever the baby decides to come I will be a grandma . So Tom and I are over the moon excited and just cannot wait for what's ahead . So just such a fun season . It's literally been wedding shower , baby shower , wedding shower , baby shower , kind of back and forth , but it's been .
It has been like I said last week . It's been crazy busy , but it's all really good stress , and so it's just trying to be unhurried in the busyness .
That's right , yeah , and you know , I can remember when I was going to become a grandmother and people would say to me you're just not going to believe what this is like , and I'd be like I had two kids . I know what it's like , but no , until you have grandchildren , then that's a new knowing it really is .
And so , to help you on your grandmother journey , madison and I collaborated so shout out to Madison and she gave me some names of some other grandmas that you may know . Well , you do know , you absolutely know Friends of yours , relatives of yours , who wanted to give you some grandparenting advice .
And so , yeah , and so originally , you know it was going to be a broadcast and I was going to have every in that . No , huh , even jordan said I don't think so , denise . So yeah , so plan b . So plan B . I sent texts to these folks and asked them to please share their wisdom for you , and so they did , and I have put them all in written form .
I printed them all out and , before life got crazy a couple weeks ago , my plan was to have this all tied up with a bow , but that's coming . But for tonight , what I thought we could do is I would read you some of these comments and you can see if you can figure out who wrote them .
Okay , so can we start by ? I do want listeners to know that you , just now , if people heard the ding , it was because you sent me the name of the people who you have communicated with , correct ? Okay , yes , so it's kind of like a matching game for me . So , it's kind of like a matching game for me . It is yeah , who said it best ? Who said it best ?
I love it . Okay , so I get to listen to the piece of advice and decide who said it .
That's right .
I want to tell you a little bit about the people who We'll do that .
We'll do that , okay , but before we start , I thought it would be wonderful to know what was wonderful about your relationship with your grandmother .
Well , my grandmother is still here . Yes , it's crazy . So my biological grandmother died when my mom was a young girl , and so my grandfather remarried a woman , delightful woman , who has been the glue of our family , but she's eight years older than my mom , oh , okay . So while I lost my mom 15 years ago , my grandma is still alive and well and kicking .
She's 86 . And my relationship from the get-go was very special . When I was born , my mom brought me home from the hospital to their house , and so I always have said and my grandpa's not here to argue with it that I was his favorite . But my grandma never has had a favorite she , that's just the way she is .
She has again just been the glue that's held us all together and our relationship was always very special . We went on special trips together , and by special I mean I think I laugh now because we would go to Hutchison , kansas , to see my cousins , and Hutchison is a special place , but not special like you think I shouldn't say that .
Somebody listening is probably from Hutchison , kansas . So , and to be fair , that was a long , long time ago , but we always did fun things together . She taught me how to crochet and cross stitch and do all sorts of things , and then even , you know I lived with her a lot in the summers , uh , so I could work and stuff .
So the relationship with my grandma was precious and , uh , still is I , still now that I am where I'm at in my life . My grandfather died when my grandma was 42 . Oh yeah , 42 years old , and here she is 86 . It's all those years that she's just spent dedicated to her family . So she's set that . She set the bar high .
Yes , what of her qualities would you like to pass on to your grandchild ?
I think that I would want my grandchild to know , like I knew , that if I needed her she was always going to be there . She would even do the hard jobs and the bad jobs , like I jokingly was talking about this weekend .
I don't know why I keep repeating this story , because it's pretty disgusting , but she worked at the hospital whenever I had Maddie and I remember being very concerned about having a bowel movement during birth . So she she helped me with my enema , because that that was you know .
Not just anyone will help you in the bathroom when you have an enema let's just say that , yeah , but that's what grandmas are for well , she was always there . Whatever I needed , she was there for , and I've seen her be that way with other people as well .
So just just especially then after my mom died , knowing that you have somebody that that , if you need them , they'll be there , so I certainly want my grandchild to always know that I'm a phone call away .
Good yeah . And what about your mom's relationship with your children ? What did you see that was special about that ?
Gosh , that's hard Cause I've missed her a lot this week . They were just the apple of her eye , like they just made her life sparkle . We'll use Jordan , our editor's word , right , she just adored them and just went out of her way to make them feel special , like simple little things .
Like you know , at our house when we have grapes , you know you rinse the grapes and you put them in the bowl and people pick the grapes off of the stem . No , not for my mom , you know like she picked the grapes off and put them in a separate little bowl and everybody get their own little bowl . When I say everybody , those two got their little bowl .
So just nothing delighted her more than having having her grandkids in the house and getting to do for them and be for them , even though I remember it exhausted her . I guess I have that to look forward to as well .
You do , but it's , it's a good exhaustion and you know the the wonderful and I've heard this from so many people . You know you love every moment that you're with them , but then you get to send them home . So that's a , that's a nice benefit when you're the grandmother , not the mother .
So and I think about that because I have heard that a lot and I I also don't know what it looks like to quit mothering , madison , you know , I , I , that's like one of the things I think about , like there , I , you know , still , I think we always long for things , to be able to help with your kids and to make things better and to fix things .
If I could just go ahead and say it right , and there's just like letting go and knowing that it's not my job to fix things no , but , but I think I may have some advice that will okay .
All right , so I will start with this quote stop everything and spend as much time with them as possible . Become a child again yourself . Don't be the old lady they just go to visit . Share the fun things you did as a kid , and do those things with them . Give lots and lots of hugs and kisses .
Wow , that's profound .
Yes , quite honestly , they all are , so get used to it .
Are they really ?
Wow , any idea who might have sent that on your list that you have ?
there . Okay , let me , let me ponder it for a second . Okay , okay , okay , I'm looking at the list . Um , I think I have , I have a . I think I have a decent idea . Is it Judy Schoonover ? It is not it is not .
No , it is not . I knew that's who you would think it was , so you tricked me right up front .
I did . Yeah , I did it deliberately .
I'll be honest .
How about CJ Pecoric no ?
let's go with Debbie .
No way yeah .
So tell us how you know , debbie .
Debbie Cavanaugh is my sister , my oldest sister , and talk about like the epitome of the best grandma , Like actually all my sisters are amazing examples of being like the sort of grandma that I want to be . So , but Debbie , she has two daughters and Debbie's oldest daughter had five boys in seven years Whoa , yes .
And then her younger daughter , Abby , in the last couple of years has gotten married and she's gotten her , her only granddaughter in the last couple of years . But talk about bam , bam , bam , bam , bam , bam I think that was five bams . Yes , yes . And I've just seen Debbie like do that that bam ? I think that was five bams .
And yes , yes , and I've just seen Debbie like do that that exact thing , like stop everything . And immediately whenever you said stop everything , I thought , oh , that's Debbie . But then I don't know where I got lost along the way .
But then also I love the part about don't just be that old lady whose house they go to visit , Don't just be that old lady whose house they go to visit .
I did too . I thought that was very sweet . I agree . Good , all right . So we'll go this one with .
¶ Advice for New Grandparents
Always be sure they know how much you love them . Show them lots of ways every day . Only spoil them as much as you can get away with Wink wink . Reading to them early on is important . Always listen to parents' wishes and obey the rules . Help the parents out when you can Be sure they know you are there when they need you .
Create special times lunch , babysitting , playing with them , et cetera . Always show an interest in what they say , school things , sports , et cetera .
Okay , denise , I'm afraid I'm going to get them all wrong .
Oh no , there's some of them that are dead giveaways that evidently didn't print out , which is not helpful for me .
Yes , Okay . So here's my best guess on that one . I'm looking over the list and when I look at these folks that have kids green kids who are school aged right , there's only two on this list , Other than Debbie , which we've already eliminated . Debbie , that's right . So it is either my friend Judy scoot over or it is my mother in law , Viola Mae .
Yes , it is your , viola Mae . Oh my gosh , is that not the ?
best ? Yes , is that not the ?
best ? Yes , that is the best . So how long has she been your mother-in-law ?
uh , 29 and a half years , oh my goodness yeah , oh , and I know she is so excited about becoming a great grandma . Yeah , it's funny , the way Maddie told her that she was having a baby was at Christmas , oh . And she gave her a dish towel and the dish towel said great grandma , great grandma .
And she looked at the dish towel and she said well , I am a great grandma , aren't I ? As she said it out loud , she's like oh my gosh , I'm going to be a great grandma .
Yeah , you know . So that's very sweet .
Those were her words of wisdom for you , I love that I will take that to heart and certainly appreciate her wisdom .
Yes , yes , and appreciate that Tom helped me get those for you . Yes , yes , all right , okay , try this one . You'll get this one . So excited for you and the whole family . Enjoy the ride of of grandparent life . My best advice is this Be present no phone , no TV , just be with that grandchild .
Read lots , sing , play games , rock and cuddle and just enjoy all the things . Help mom and dad out when they ask and praise how they are raising their child . Do things with your grandchild that you remember your mom . Do it with maddie and matt . Double the memories . Share your wisdom with the baby . Just love and praise this bundle of joy . Love you mean it .
Just love and praise this bundle of joy . Love you Mean it , that's definitely . Judy Schoonover . It is Judy Schoonover .
So tell us about Judy Schoonover . So Judy was a friend of Matthew's kindergarten teacher . So kindergarten teachers , you know , run together , so to speak , stick together . And so Judy , Michelle Cuervo , Matthew's kindergarten teacher . Judy was her mentor teacher , and so shortly after I became friends with Michelle , I got invited to the pool , Judy's pool .
That's right , Judy's pool .
Judy's pool , which is where literally my kids have grown up at the pool , like . We used to buy pool memberships and I quit because they just wanted to go to Judy's pool . It was a waste of money .
And so then when my mom died , judy was just like that person that stepped up and has loved my kids effortlessly , tirelessly , and just loved on me and loved on Tom and and . Uh . So yeah , and we had a baby shower this weekend and it was delightful . Uh , judy read a book in her best kindergarten teacher voice about . It was a .
It was a book about like from the baby's perspective , about it's . I'm so bored in here in the womb . Just delightful but yeah very special , like surprise relationship , that that I would have never , would have never guessed . But here I am , like she's , I'm , I'm blessed .
Yeah , if I may be wrong , but didn't she officiate maddie's wedding she ?
did officiate maddie's wedding .
Yes , I thought so , so she may be the reason all of this is happening .
Yeah , she'll take credit for that .
I'm I'm sure she'll take credit for that she will .
You know , what I heard echoed there between that one and my mother-in-law was like there were some common threads there you know about . No , you know , know your role right , know your place . Encourage the parents , help the parents , but yeah , you're not the parent .
Stay in your lane . No , yeah , that's pretty universal . So all right , dear Robin , I have no doubt you will be a fantabulous G-Ma . It is both an honor and a privilege to help shape little minds . My advice be sure to write down precious things your G-Babes say and do . Believe it or not , you may think you will always remember , but in time you may forget .
I am so happy for you . What a blessed little baby .
¶ Grandparenting Wisdom and Advice
I think this might be Michelle Motley .
No it's me . Oh , I thought the GMA would give it away .
Well , that's what I thought , I guess . Honestly , I didn't realize that your advice was in there too , because , yeah , g-babe is your like . I think you coined the term G-Babe , I think so . Yeah , it's a rapper .
It's from a rap song , is it really ? No , but you know they always like G-Money and G-this and G-that , so I decided . G-babies .
Yes , well , I remember sitting in your Missouri cancer office and one of them was about to be born , or yeah , yeah yeah , yes , yeah , he will be 17 in June , and then the other one will be 15 at the end of May .
So , right , somewhere around one of those two it was , it was , uh , colin yeah , colin , yes , yes , but I .
But I remember even then going oh g babe , that's a cute little thing . So anyway , I thought that michelle motley must have uh copied you with the g babe no , she did not .
that was me , those were , those were my words , and I will say I started a journal when reese was born , because they were you , because it was the first grandchild , and oh my gosh , everything he did and everything he said and I made it to like age two and that's it .
And now I will still think of things and think , gosh , I wish I would have written that down , because now I don't remember what the know , whatever , whatever it was . But , um , he used to say hang a bugger . He wanted to hang .
I think that's in there , yeah , yeah , so well , um , people can't see this , but I'm holding up my grandmother's journal that you gave me and it's memories and keepsakes for my grandchild .
And again , you sent this to me early on and I've been working on it and it's like look see , I've really been working , got you have been working , filled out , and and I think this is important because , man , what a gift if my mom would have left this for Maddie , or or even if my grandma would take the time to do it from for all of her grandkids .
You know , and just about about who we are , what it was like when we were growing up , because the reality is in two generations we will be forgotten .
Well , thanks for that , Debbie Downer .
I know , but it's just true right , and part of it is because we don't write things down .
No , we don't Right . And I thought maybe you would know it was me , because I was saying write it down , you know , journal ? Because ?
And even still , when Reese was born , I was working in the intensive care unit at the hospital in Columbia and there was a young man there who was succumbed to his injuries from an accident and so he passed away on the day that Reese was born , and so I was walking his parents out to the parking lot and she asked me something about children and I said well
, said well . Actually , you know , I'm heading to St Louis in a little bit . I didn't want her to know that I was going to be sprinting through the parking lot to get to St Louis . And she and I said , because you know , I'm getting a grandson . And she said , well , I hope she names him Corey . And we didn't .
My daughter and son-in-law didn't name him Corey , but I kept the obituary of Corey because he was a fine young man , and so I can only hope that Reese will follow in those footsteps . And she did in fact see me running through the parking lot . She just smiled and waved . So that worked out , allaved . So that worked out . So all right . So that was me .
I'm going to get better as we go , because there's yeah , exactly . If this was a test , you know I'd be freaking out , because I would definitely feel it yeah .
Well , this , yeah , no , okay . I am a grandparent of nine grandchildren and counting . I loved being a parent , and being a Nana is the cherry on top .
It is so fun to see your children grow up to be the people you knew they would always be and in turn raise their children with such love and kindness and want to include the grandparents as much as they can in their lives . I don't pretend to know how much I do know as a grandparent .
It is important to remember that you are the grandparent , not the parent . Sometimes it is hard that line can get blurred . But it is important to me that the grandkids know they can come to me for anything and tell me anything and that I will not pass judgment . Just love them . Let the parents handle the big things .
It is not our responsibility to decide it is time to take away a pacifier , potty , train , etc . We are there to support and encourage whatever the parents want . Done , not when it is done . I have found all my kids have a similar parenting style , but some differences . I follow their routines and rules , no matter what .
This makes for happier parents and grandkids . As a grandparent , it is fun to spoil them a little parentheses or a lot , then send them on their way . That is what grandparents do . Robin is going to be an awesome grandparent and we will enjoy grandparenting with her and tom in the near future .
Oh well , good gosh . Thank you , melanie Wolf , for making that one easy . Yay , I got one , I love it . Yes , and um , thank you too that she said I have nine grandchildren . I was like , okay , there's only one person on this list that has nine grandchildren . But how fortunate for me that my first experience .
I get to do it with someone who is so experienced at it .
Yeah , for sure , yeah , and share those memories . Oh , my goodness .
Yes , okay . I'm definitely also printing all of these things out , because the common themes I think are just keep resonating like yeah , you know , yeah , for sure total wisdom about . It's not our job to say when and how to do things .
No , it is not okay . Well , this person , um sent three pages of suggestions , so I'll just read the first few . Uh , keep your mouth shut and your heart wide open . The heart wide open part comes naturally , the mouth shut part not so much . That's cj pakoric , it is , it . Is you got it ?
yes , yes , that was uh . Yeah , I would like to think that I would have gotten that if that was the first one . Yeah , yeah , so cj okay , keep going , keep going okay .
so she says , don't get involved in how they decide to feed children , just follow the house rules . We have five different sets of house rules . We try to never get them confused . Another thing tell mom and dad you're doing a great job . You are a wonderful mom and dad .
My husband is a pediatrician and I had the privilege of meeting many of his patients Did I mix this up ? Okay , no Okay . And their parents . One thing that was often mentioned to me about my John coming from parents in his practice was that he would always say you're doing a good job , mom . And to a busy , tired mom , those words mean so much .
Yeah , and always , always , always . Stay positive about your grandchildren , about other grandparents in their life . It's important that children are exposed to all sorts of personalities . Remember when you visit their home you are there to give , do the laundry , clean up the kitchen , yard work .
You will also be able to come alongside and do life with your children and grandchildren . Baby snuggles will happen , naturally . Snuggles with mom while mom takes takes a nap will be priceless too . Mom needs time to snuggle and not be constantly keeping the house together . I'll never forget the gift my mom gave me when she came to visit .
I had laundry for days in the laundry chute . When my mom left , every single item , it was all done , folded and put away . My dad would say what do you do when you run out of these tiny little panties ? Go buy more ? My answer was yep , that's exactly what I do .
Some days so priceless memories was able to ask each mom what job do you hate the most around the house ? And that was always the very first thing I did .
Oh , that's a great piece of advice too .
¶ Grandparenting Wisdom and Joy
Okay , so that one made me cry . That made me cry because it really made me miss my mom , and it also makes me miss CJ . Cj and John are just precious friends of ours that moved to North Carolina when John retired and CJ retired . She was a pharmacist and very smart woman . She actually did drug discovery and then she's also smart because she married John .
But , uh , but miss them so much and I just treasure all of this advice and I'm just humbled by the fact that people took time to to pour into me in this season . So , gosh , you keep going the more emotional I get .
Okay , All , right , I'll try this one . Um , I have not been a grandmother all that long and not sure that I have much in the way of wisdom yet . However , I would say that my husband and I have really tried to refrain from unsolicited parenting advice to my daughter and son-in-law . There's a theme there too .
I just I have to pause right there and I wonder if people like that , since that theme keeps coming up , if , like people would just say that in general , or people all these women know me really well , so they're like I need to tell Robin to no , no , that is not it .
I think everyone who has been a grandparent pretty quickly recognizes that , unless you're asked for some advice , zip it Okay . So , yeah , I think that's universal . I really do . It's not just you , okay .
Carla , I want to hear what else you have to say there you go , you got it .
It can be hard to bite your tongue when you see them handle things , as a parent , that differ from your parenting style . I think the most important thing a grandparent can do is give love , support and encouragement to their adult children , acknowledging that parenting is really hard , helping your child see that you understand the challenges they face .
I asked my daughter about how she thinks I'm doing which that was brave of her and what has been most helpful to her in the last 20 months . She is expecting a second boy in June . She said one of the things that stands out in her mind about bringing her little boy home from the hospital was a sense of anxiety and fear about getting him sick .
I think COVID caused this anxiety to be greater . Annie established boundaries with us and her in-laws , asking that we did not kiss her newborn on the face . That was really hard , but she brought that up , saying she appreciated that we respected her wishes and didn't push back .
I think it is so important to remind ourselves that our job is to enjoy being grandparents and that our grandkids already have parents . We just need to get out of the way sometimes and let them do their thing .
Wow , wow , wow , wow . Carla is a dear friend of mine . We met at Mothers of Preschoolers . Oh , a minute ago , a hot minute ago , and uh uh , yeah , just have been so blessed to have her in my life now for 24 years and counting I know it's 20 , I guess 25 and a half years Cause Matthew's 26 .
Yeah , yeah , I especially loved how she went and asked Annie , because I just like that whole experience , uh , kind of coming full circle and saying you know what was helpful , what wasn't , and then offering that advice to me . So so I love that . Thank you , carla , and thank you for 25 years of friendship .
Yes , Well , and your sons are our dear friends , correct ?
Yes , they are , and they've lived together for several years and , yeah , just like a really special friendship and so , yeah , and so the the other thing about that that's crazy is that her daughter lived in Houston when she first got married , after going to school in Oklahoma , and then her husband got transferred to a job in Kansas city and Kansas city is , you
know , a big place . Right moved , uh , a half a mile away from maddie so I love that too , and that annie and maddie will get to raise their kids right there together . Just it's just crazy , so precious yes , it is well .
Process of elimination . You probably know who this one comes from . Uh , prepare yourself ahead of the baby's arrival . Some good information and helpful reminders might make that new baby introduction more meaningful . I read multiple books from the library and purchased what to expect the first year by heidi murkoff , for myself and for my daughter-in-law .
I had more time to read it than she did . I found it to be helpful and reassuring advice , as each month launched new experiences for all of us . Brain Rules for Baby by John Medina was also an interesting read regarding brain development from zero to five . Be supportive of new parents , especially the first year .
There is a lot going on New sleeping habits , their lives are perpetually changed forever . The couple's relationships is altered by a new little body . Time becomes a dynamic commodity , daycare is a new experience , finances are changed . The list is endless and it's a lot to get used to .
I find the most effective thing I can do is to be a good listener and keep all of my helpful observations to myself . I love that for her , unless ask for my thoughts . In other words , stay in my grandmotherly lane . Be prepared to experience profound joy . I mean this most sincerely .
I marvel at my grandchildren , and sometimes just holding them or hugging them brings tears to my eyes and an emotional fullness that is indescribable . And then they poop in their pants or have a meltdown over the word no and it's all over . Truly , the joy is real .
Congratulations to you and your family , robin , wishing all of you the very best on the arrival of your new little bundle of joy .
Hugs michelle , michelle , oh , mich , thank you . Oh , such wisdom , and she's one of the most accomplished , smartest women . Woman , I what ? Yeah , I'm trying to spit it out . Yeah , that I know , and so I love the advice about you know , being prepared and what does that look like ?
You know , and it's okay to be well read , and I wrote down brain rules for a baby . But be a good listener . Keep most of my thoughts to myself .
Stay in my lane , that's right , and what I'm going to remember from that is be prepared to experience profound joy .
That's right . Yeah , and how do you know Michelle ? I know Michelle because you introduced her to me . Yes , I did . She is like our lives in some ways , you know , uh , revolve , revolve or have revolved around who we exercise with . Right , yes , absolutely , uh .
So she was your training partner when you lived here , your running partner , and I got to meet her and she is amazing . And talk about a selfless grandmother , like I've watched her , like how she has taken on the role of grandparenting and does has the grandkids a lot like .
Yes , yeah , I think she keeps her . Daughter-in-law is a veterinarian and she works really long hours , I think . It's three days a week , 12 hours a day , so that's a major commitment . And it's not like michelle is doing nothing on the days that she doesn't have the kiddos .
She's on the board at boone electric and she's on the board at mizzou's extension program and she's yeah , it's here , there and everywhere . So she's , she's on the board at Mizzou's extension program and she's yeah , it's here , there and everywhere . So she's , she's retired right yeah , yeah .
But I also love that example too , of , like her life is very full and and it sounds like they come first , but she still fits things in that , other things that fit , fill her cup and feed her soul , that so that she can be the grandma that she wants to be . So such wisdom there from everybody .
Like , yeah , I'm going to listen to this episode over and over and over , because every single one that you read I was like I want you to repeat that like six times . I want to hear it over and over and over . I want you to repeat that like six times .
I want to hear it over and over and over . Well , in some of them , cj , I you know shortened Because they were not so really wonderful suggestions .
Well , I will read every last suggestion yes , you will that she sent and treasure , treasure it all .
Yes , so get your box of Kleenex out . I have mine right here because there's one more letter to read to you . We'll both be snotting it up by the time we get done with this one . I'm so excited to watch my mom become a grandma a grandma I'm .
They will develop their own special traditions , like I did with my grandma , and I can't wait for both of them to share those wow thank you , madison man , so so special , so special .
You know it's like , yeah , for every um young mom that you know out there , that's like gosh , is it worth it ? Like , listen to that letter and it's absolutely worth it , you know yes , yes .
Well , that concludes who said it best ? I think everyone said it best I . I , just as , as the emails came in , I was like , oh , that's really good . Oh , no , that's really good . No , that's that's really good . No , that's no , that's some good advice .
So I was , I was so grateful that people took the time to share that so that we could , we could talk about it on the podcast and gosh , I don't know what . Do you have like 10 weeks left , or something ?
Something like that . Well , I think at the most it's nine weeks , okay , okay , at the most , yeah , but I just have to before we go . I , you know , I hope that all of our listeners I mean , I feel so , so honored that people took , and you especially , that this was all your idea . So what a beautiful gift to give to me this .
We're recording this just at Mother's Day . It'll come out a little bit after Mother's Day , but , man , like I don't need anything for Mother's Day , like I just feel so blessed by all of this . So thank you for that .
I do hope also that everyone listening took a little bit of piece of advice that either they'll share with someone who needs it right now or they'll keep it tucked in their back pocket whenever their season of grandparenting arrives . So , and just the beautiful example of how , man I had family , sisters , daughter , co-grandma , just so many people that just love me .
Well , and isn't it just the best to be loved ?
Yes , it is , and I will say this you know , mother's Day can be really hard for people who don't have their mother to honor on that day .
And I have some sweet , sweet friends whose mom passed away and throughout the year , when they post things or they tell me something that's going on , I say to them you are doing such a good job , because I know that's what their mom would say to them if she were here .
And so if you know somebody that's mom isn't here anymore , maybe step in a little bit and and encourage those new mamas too .
I love that and you've done that well for me many times , and every time you do it I'm like , oh , you're right , you're right , she would be proud , of course .
Was there ever any doubt ? Well , congratulations , and we can't wait to find out the next bit of news .
Yes , to be continued when this little baby shows up . So , denise , thank you . Thanks to all of our listeners . I hope that you were remotely blessed , because this was just the best episode ever . Thanks for listening to the podcast . We're honored . You're sharing your day with us , do you love ?
a good book , so do we ? So join us for the Problem with Perfect Book Club . If you'd like more information about what we're reading this month and how to join us for the virtual discussion , please email us at theproblemwithperfect at gmailcom .
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And remember , there's always enough grace for you today , so be sure to give it to yourself .