One thing as a young person you would do right to harm yourself is to have a relationship that is only based on sex. What makes you think that your boyfriend will marry you? What makes you think? Sometimes, yeah, our parents look so much into what happened behind that they don't see what's ahead. They are a lot of the time speaking out of fear of what would come out of, you know, someone with such a background. And it's understandable because it is what makes them a good parent.
Now you as the child, knowing very well what you want, you can find a way to get your parents, especially, as you said, your mother, to turn her heart around. How do you do this? If they posted it on social media, if they posted it on social media, if they posted it on social media, then they made it our business. And since they made it our business, we're gonna make it our business. Let's get into the stories.
Dear Ikia, I'm a 24 year old schooling at Kamenkoma University of Science and Technology. I'm in my third year now. I've been dating this girl for two years now. After our long vacation, I went home and I felt sick and invited her one Sunday afternoon to come and visit me. She came. Well, all my family are there. One week later she came to visit me again while my family are there again.
After she left in the evening my mom approached me in my room and asked me who the girl is to me and I told her she's just a friend to me and she asked me again. I said she's a friend to me and my mom started that if I have something to do with her we should break up because she don't want me to be with her even as a friend. I asked her why she said because of the girl's family background.
She started narrating the girl's family history to me and her last words says she don't want to see me around here again. OK I really love that girl. She's a cool and calm person to be with. She has the quality I want for my girl. She even sent me money without asking her when I was on campus and always gifted me with a lot of things. She really loves me. I don't want to break up with her because of my mother and I don't want to disappoint my mother either.
Please help me out because I don't know what to do now. OK I'm going to take it from this perspective and forgive me if you don't get it. With all honesty I believe in obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. Honor your mother and father. I believe that a child needs to respect what comes out of their parents mouth. But I also believe in the fact that sometimes, sometimes, yeah, our parents look so much into what happened behind that they
don't see what's ahead. They are a lot of the time speaking out of fear of what would come out of, you know, someone with such a background. And it's understandable because it is what makes them a good parent. Now, you as the child, knowing very well what you want, you can find a way to get your parents, especially as you said, your mother, to turn her heart around. How do you do this? By talking to her about her and letting her understand what you're telling me now about how
good she is and everything. I don't know what exactly her background is, but understand that you need to convince your mother. You don't need to disrespect her nor do you need to leave the girl immediately, but speak to your mother. Like sit her down. If you ask her and she's saying that she wouldn't tell you, pray for God to touch her heart to at least explain things to you. But you don't outright through. You know her way away like that. And don't outright also throw the girl away.
You need to pray about it. You need to ask God what He wants really 'cause you really don't know where your mother's mind is in term. In fact, I, I think I know, and that is fear of whatever she thinks is happening that's happening here. But I also believe that there's a God that can turn things around for people. And I'm hoping that this girl knows the drama in her family and is a Christian enough to pray about it so she doesn't miss something good for her because of that.
And I think you need to engage the girl, speak to her, hear her out, and hopefully she's a Christian and you tell her to work on it and work on herself. Do you get it? That's love it. That's love it. Dear Ikia, I don't even know where to start from, but keep me anonymous. So I met a very beautiful girl in school nursing training which I fell deeply in love with and still I am. But The thing is, last semester I read some messages on her phone which got me perplexed.
I confronted her and we settled it and our love life continues. I don't know what came over me. Again I hacked her phone. I know my way around such things when it comes to hacking and as I'm typing I'm filled with tears. Charlie this girl has about 5 boyfriends that she tells them that she loves them. Students nurses do practicals whenever they vacate so like 5 days to the clinicals.
This girl went to one of the boys which she claims to be his brother and he had sex after she texted me that she loves me and she can't do without me. Just today a guy proposed to her and she accepted so now we are serving way back in. I remember giving my contact to some of the girls who needed help with the academics and this girl got angry that I am the only person who can help them so I blocked them because this babe
doesn't like that. Right now I need advice, should I confront her that I know what she's doing or I should keep pretending that I haven't seen anything? Fear women and live long, my brothers. That part is funny. I mean, I don't want to call it confronting. I want to call it getting clarity or getting clarifications because you really have evidence of what she's doing. You really know what she's doing. So it's not like I'm confronting to see the truth because you
already know the truth. So it's like I'm telling you, this is what you're doing and it makes you a terrible, terrible, terrible person. Do you understand? That's that's where I think you need to take it from. Not that. Is it true that you're cheating on me? No. Is it true that we are serving a number? No. That's not what you're doing. Doing that is trying to give her the chance to lie to you again. So now that you know, Sir, leave that terrible woman alone.
And I need to clarify something. Human beings can be bad, whether man or woman, OK? So if there's anything you need to see here in this world and you need to be careful about, it's a human being problem, not a man or a woman. That girl is a terrible human being. Yes. Why not? Every woman is like that. Yeah. Yeah. Just like there's this terrible woman, right? There are terrible men out there doing terrible things to good women.
So it wouldn't be fair that you will shout fear women when men are also messing up with women too. I mean, that's just something that I think that we need to sit down and think about. And we are sending this directly to the girl that did that to you. She's a terrible woman, terrible girl. And she should consider like that. You think sleeping with seven men at a go, you think you're doing me or you're doing the guys? No, you're doing yourself. You're doing yourself OK.
It's not me. STD's things. You see, it is terrible for a man to be sleeping with multiple women. It is terrible. It is not a flex, but it is more terrible when a woman does it. Ah, nasty. Seven men got a go. Nobody's a St. But this is crazy, my dear. Tell her and leave her asks. This one dear, let me share my story with you a bit. Akia hide or cover my name or my
Pete emoji. So I've been single for a very long time like 4 years and I've never engaged in any sexual relationship with anyone even do I sometimes get the privilege of doing that with some ladies. I've declined a lot of those friends with benefits thing 'cause I believe if I've got no mutual interest or relationship with you, then I can't have sex with you no matter how bad I wanna have sex. I've trained myself to control my body very well so I'm very
good not having sex. Fast forward, my best friend who is a very pretty beautiful lady was also going through the same thing but hers was a bit different course and she had a boyfriend but not in the country and we talk and vibe more so she she suggested we should be meeting up more often. She's smart, beautiful and pretty I won't lie about that. I told her one time that I wanted to tell her some secret 'cause it's been eating me up for a very long time.
I told her I feel I've developed some kind of feelings which is love for her so I don't know what to do. She said I know too much about her so I can't be in a relationship with her but she was just but she would just be a friends with benefits and moreover she needs sex so bad. I didn't want to lose my best friend. So I give in and we've been having sex since then. She enjoys it 'cause I give in all when we're having sex 'cause I always feel like she's my girlfriend so I have to satisfy
her to that level. Recently I met a lady through a friend and it's like we've started dating and this particular lady said no sex until marriage. It's not the sex I'm worried about too but what if she gives it to another person and she's just being that with me And cause of that I've stopped my best friend from coming to my place. What do I do now 'cause the daily I love said no sex till marriage and my best friend said sex but no relationship. How old are you?
You didn't put your age there. But for me, I believe in having meaningful relationships. One thing as a young person you would do right to harm yourself is to have a relationship that is only based on sex. You harm yourself not just for the person that you end up marrying or being with on a long term, but also yourself. I would suggest that you let go of your friends with benefit with your best friend, have a conversation with her and end it.
And if you believe right that God has ways of opening doors for you when you're not sexually active. If you believe, stick with your girl and just hope and pray that she's being real with you. Or maybe watch her to also see if she's being real with you. She has a reason for saying no sex till marriage. Have you asked her? Maybe have a conversation with her and see OK if she's a good girl and she knows why she's doing it she won't sleep with
anyone. Just trust that at least they are still good girls in the sister. OK well the friends who benefit is not advisable at all. I I liked you from the beginning when he said you were not engaging in all those things. But I also understand that you had feelings for your best friend and you were hoping it all bloom or blossom into something. But she's for someone else. She's dating someone else. If she was willing to leave her boyfriend for you, then that's fair. You could say that.
OK, Then you would even get what she wants from the your your bestie. So then why they need to stay in a sexless relationship? But I don't know. For some reason, I'm feeling like I should tell you that. Be in a sexless relationship and it can help you in a long way. OK. That's why we that's why we dear. It can keep me anonymous.
I'm in level 300 going to 400 in one of the best universities in Ghana. I have dated my guy for a year and during my first semester of third year I met a taxi driver who wanted me badly but during that period I had misunderstanding with my boyfriend so he became very close. Fast forward I told him no sex
for some time and he agreed. I won't lie, he was very good but from his conversations all he wants to do is either travel and return to marry me in three or four years or even more and moreover, he introduced me to everyone as his serious girlfriend which he knows I have a boyfriend IKEA. My dream is to become a career woman if God is willing.
So I later told him I'm not interested in this relationship anymore but since we are friends before, we can maintain that so that I can settle with my boyfriend IKEA. After this agreement he never called to check up or anything so I also gave him some same energy and Lita deleted his number because that will help me not to try to call him.
Not long ago he called me to check up on me after some months but I didn't recognize his number so he asked me whether I have deleted the number and obviously I have. So please should I keep his number or delete it as I did so that I will ignore his existence because the truth is I need nothing from him because by God's grace I'm a last born enjoying my mother and elder siblings money. So I need a little push up advice. What do you seek in a relationship?
Your issues with him is just about the travelling. You think when he travels things will spoil? Is that it? I mean, maybe this is not the kind of opinion you're looking for, but what do you mean by you want to be a career woman? What has that got to do with him marrying you two or three years later? It's either you like him or not 'cause you really didn't say anything about your boyfriend. How is that relationship? Is he treating you well? What is going on?
Why? You had a misunderstanding with your boyfriend and you moved on immediately and the next person you moved on with seems serious. The fact that you had that misunderstanding with him and the first thing that came into your mind is let me move on makes me think you really didn't love your boyfriend much, but then you didn't really also love the taxi driver because of the travelling.
I need to understand you because I feel like you yourself, you've not, You need to sit down and breathe and know what exactly you're looking for so that when you get it and it feels shaky, you don't just jump to another ship. You need to rethink your decisions. Look at some things. Well alright. What makes you think that your boyfriend will marry you? What makes you think that's lovely? That's lovely dear. OK. I feel betrayed and disappointed.
I've been friends with this girl for almost 2 years. We do stuff but not sex. I've seen her nakedness through romance but insisting having sex with her because it might turn the love I have for her down. We talk every night and day. Fast forward, she likes drawing which she's not really good at but more room for improvement. So I introduce her to my area friend to teach her at work. Now I have been a victim all day
and time drawing. If not drawing, talking to someone else at 9:00 to 11:00 PM. So it continues like 2 weeks which I complain but still goes on. Yesterday I called her to come home. I checked on her call logs. I was amazed that it's my friend that has been talking to all. It's my friend that she's been talking to all the time, but she didn't give me attention again. She has been to his room for several times. Gosh, listen, from what you have seen, this girl is not your girlfriend.
You guys are just messing around. You guys are just messing around. So you both don't really owe each other any commitment 'cause you said right here. We've been friends for two years. We do stuff, OK? We've been friends for almost 2 years. We do stuff, but not sex. I've seen a nakedness through romance, but yeah, insisting not to have sex with it. So what are you guys doing? Are you guys dating? Are you guys not dating? What's going on? What do you guys do? You get it?
It sounds. Some type of way. Do you guys actually have a relationship? I don't think so. You maybe you like it, that's why. So tell her how you feel before she moves on. Let's love it. Let's love it. Dieka. There's this girl I'm into relationship with. She's very generous with everything she does. She was even a virgin when I met her. Things were moving on smoothly. Or do I lost my job or so she did something. I wasn't able to control my temper. I raised my hands on her.
She left to her mother's place. She was actually pregnant when she left. I was still taking care of her. Now I have a job. Now I am telling her to come over but she says it's over between us because after all she lost the pregnancy. I'm really confused. I don't know what to do Should I also accept the break up and move on? I'm still try to convince her to come back. You messed up by touching her, by raising your hands on her so you don't have the monopoly to now be playing. Should I be?
Should I wait for her? You need to continue begging if you want to. If you don't want to move on, OK. You need to beg if she's what you want, if she's who you want, work on yourself. Work on holding or learning how to control your anger or control yourself and beg like never before. If she's what she like you don't have that. Should I go? Like if she doesn't want should I go because now she's scared that if she comes back and something happens you beat it again and should lose the baby
again. Why? Why, why, why, why, why, why? Anyway, messy on you. Thank you for watching the episode. I'll see you in the next episode. Don't forget to subscribe, like and share. My name is Anika Devando and I'm the host of this amazing show. I'll see you in the next one. Adios. Bye. See you at breakfast meeting on the 18th of October 2025 at the Heights National Conference Center. I'll be there. So you 2 be there. It's been done by Holy Hill, Assemblies of God I.