The 'I Asked You Out But You Said No' Shuffle
Those boys may be handsome / But they'll hit you / They may be handsome / But they'll hit you...

Those boys may be handsome / But they'll hit you / They may be handsome / But they'll hit you...
You don't hold my hand anymore / I wish you'd just stop it / And put it in your pocket...
You said your friend was feisty so you had to get the night bus home with her / Even though it had just cost us a bloody fiver to get in the bloody club...
Are you the result of a bad education / Did your Dad not teach you it's wrong to be rude? / Why are the girls who have the least manners / Always the ones that you want to see nude?
So I pick at the grass as if I'm not awkward / As if I haven't already named our daughters / As if I've not considered taking your clothes off...
I wish I hadn't laddered my tights / On your first day at our school...
I don't like flower arranging / I only go to the classes to get closer to the ladies...
Oh Camilla / You soften me like a cedilla / And make me thump my chest like a gorilla / You still surprise me like Cilla / Oh Camilla...
Oh, I'd like to kiss you with my teeth in / And take you to Southend at the weekend...
...And when we had time to ourselves it was more exciting than 2012...
I didn't mean what I said about Britney / I think you're sexier / wittier / stabler / politer.
I can't wait to see you pissed / Off at all the men that you work with / So we can slag them off / And remind you that I'm worth it...
I met you outside the multiplex / And your hair was curly and you stank of sex...
The trees in Regent's Park still have you beneath them, and under me, and if it rained there for a century you couldn't wipe away what it meant to me...
I don't want to spend tonight / Hearing people talk about work, no / I just want to spend tonight / With you in a cupboard going berserk, oh...
Oh, God send this song to number one / Let it soundtrack an advert or a rom-com...
I'm too sad to wash / I start drinking at 12 / I eat 3 meals a day in Maccy D's...
Buy her a bicycle too, 'Dave' / So you can go on outings together, 'Dave' / Leave the kids with your Dad, 'Dave' / And give her a day in the spa, 'Dave'...
I'm not doing jokes / I'm not doing flattery / You make me so excited / That you could hang a hat on me...
We drank so much we couldn't leave the house / And I farted so much you nearly kicked me out...
I don't want to stand around in parks chucking frisbees at your friends / I don't want to sit around in circles, I want to spend the summer in bed...
Oh, your nose / Oh, your nose / And that thing you do...
I've got songs / Coming out of my ears / In the hope you'll go out with me / For a thousand years...
And you're far too busy to / Text me back / Oh, text me back...
Just because I've got a bald head it doesn't make me ugly / Just because I've got a bald head it doesn't mean I'm funny...