Well, speaking of Valentine's Day, and since everything on this show is centered around love, this conversation is going to be for anyone who is in a long term relationship. Maybe you've got kids, maybe you're in the trenches, and things just aren't as magical as what once upon a time they were. I feel like it happens to all long term couples. Like keeping me Yeah, well, long distance kind of changes things a little bit, but trying to keep like that long term spark is really really hard.
But it's interesting for me because the women that we're about to speak to, Tara Pavlovich. Once upon a time I was in competition with her for the Heart of a Man on a reality TV show, and now I just love watching everything that she puts out in the world on social media. Tara, Welcome to the show. Hello, Laura, arguably the fan favorite of whatever season we were of The Bachelor.
Look, guys, the competition's over. You're both married with kids. Let's leave that one in the six year past. But Tara, it's so cool. I was like reading your post on Instagram just saying that, hey, let's normalize couples counseling. You know, we're trying to get our connection back and do all these things, and it doesn't have to mean that life is over. What made you start going to therapy and what made you want to speak about it?
Yeah, so I think therapy is something that like everyone can benefit from singly or as a couple. Even if we went because we needed a lot of help Black things were really bad. But then once I went, I was like, wait a minute, I think I want to do this even now things are good because it really does help the connection because they're so trained in helping couples and they know so many ways to get you
both to understand each other a little bit more. So it's just good to go and have a little refresher and kind of understand each other all because in reality, like you're always going to have little issues and you're never going to completely understand each other, Like when you're married with kids, it's hard, like stuff changes all the time. You're forever evolving. So it's just about going and having a little refresher and finding that connection again.
Tara, you and Neck have been together for a while well now, and obviously you've got two beautiful children, But did you feel that your relationship just completely shifted after having kids.
Oh, it's so hard when you have kids. You just don't have that time to connect anymore. And that's what the therapist helped us with because we're broth up, but we don't have time and she's like, no, but you do, and here's how you can have it. You know. So it's hard with kids because they don't even let you speak, like I'm hiding outside right now, like to speak on the phone, because you know, when Laura you messaged her, I was like, no, I can't talk to you like
I've got children with me. It's the same here. Literally, if we even look at each other, they're like, no, you do not, Like how dare you we are here?
Like when you talked about wanting to go and see a counselor or do couples counseling with either of you, apprehensive because I think there is still a lot of stigma around it, Like a lot of people interpret that as, oh, well, we must be at doomsday when it comes to our relationship if you want to go and see a counselor.
I know it is like that, and that's why I'm so open about it because I want people to know that, like it's not doom and going. I honestly think that the strongest couples go and seek it because it's like, we will do anything for this to work. When we first saw the counselor, we were like, it was kind of like the last resort type thing. We really needed to go there. But after going we were like, wait, this is actually like pretty good and so useful.
It's so good because I am with one of my ex's. We were doing therapy individually and then I said, hey, I think we need to go together, and he refused because I think the next step is a couple was something different for him, you know, he could understand going individually, there was still this stigma for the couples therapy. He refused to go. Now that worked out and he got me, Yeah, that was my point, Laura, how are.
You and Nick now, like after all of this and everything that you guys have weathered with having kids and come back together, Like, how do you feel your relationship is now?
Oh? Definitely after that therapy session, we've been a lot closer. So it's helped us so much. It was only like a couple of months ago, and it's definitely made such a difference. So I'm going to go again and have another refresher and learn some more little things from her, because it's really just helped a lot, Like just having the reminder and the conversation with her was so helpful.
Obviously there's things that we both do every day that were just like okay, that, like that's annoying, goal away, like you're so annoying. But yeah, but you know, I think it's important to remember that that's completely normal. And like what we're seeing on Instagram with couples and everything isn't the whole picture. Like everyone has little bickers every day and you piss each other off and that's normal.
Absolutely a Tara, You're a breath of fresh air. I love watching your Instagram post for anyone who hasn't followed Tara Tara Pavlovic on Instagram, Like you're very relatable with all of your very funny updates around parenting and relationships, and I feel like you just say it as it is, which you always.
Laura appreciate, love you and you and my ex as well.
Yeah. Well, happy Valentine's Day, Tara.
Thanks you're happy Valentine's Day, guys. I hope it's it's amazing. Bye, it's so nice.
It's such a nice reminder, isn't it. Like your brain is also a muscle. We exercise our like our body and where we do our squats, we want great legs or whatever it is, but we forget that our brain is something that needs to be exercised too. And I think it's a really good reminder of like you can't just forget it until it shrivels away and be like, oh yeah, now it's time to try and work it back up.