Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist, and listen live on the free iHeart app One thing that I was particularly bad at when I was in the throes of dating.
Thank god, I am now married and had.
To go on a reality TV show to find my husband, But that was the breakup part. I feel like I hung on to dear life to all of my relationships. I've said this before, until I drove those things so far into the ground that they were dead.
Yeah, they were so dead. They were lifeless and limp and sad.
But I also like, really struggled with the breaking up part of a relationship. Doesn't matter if I was dating someone for two days or two years, Like I found it almost impossible, and I think it's because I'm quite conflict avoidant.
Do you think it's easier to be on the receiving end of a breakup or the breaker.
Up erer depends on how blindsided you are. I think there's no person that's ever gone through a really bad breakup that's going to sit here and say getting broken up with is way easier. But I think for some people there are personality types that find doing the breaking up incredibly Like I say, in a relationship for an entire year, knowing that it was over, but I could not bring myself.
To break up with him.
But the reason I wanted to talk about this is because if you were in the early stages of dating and you're finding it particularly hard to do the breaking up with someone when someone doesn't seem right, I came across an article that has a full proof formula for how to break up with them. And as someone who did quite a bit of dating but also quite a bit of breaking hearts skillful, what you were going to.
Say, there's someone who are shopped around, someone who.
Has been prolific in the dating sphere for a very part.
Yeah no, But I also think you, and in all the conversations we've had over the last six years of our friendship, you have been really good at calling things off.
When it doesn't serve you. It gets easier to tried and tested. It one of those learn traits that you have to spend time doing.
Okay, hear me out.
I mean to run you through and you can tell me what pointer is, dismisses or you know what you would do differently. So this is your perfect breakup text. Write this down, guys, put this says you're a bible if you're in the dating throes.
Okay, firstly, start with a hello in their name.
No nothing, hi Frank. No no nice names like if you called them babe or anything like that. None, none, that's all babe suck.
Yeah, don't do that.
Okay.
Small gratitude like had a really nice night the other night, right, something that's like, you know, or thanks for picking that restaurant.
I really enjoyed it. Something really simple to the point.
Next one, get to the point kindly and as honestly as possible, which is very simply, something like had a really great time.
I'm not feeling it.
With you, you know, I hope that you find what is that you're looking for.
Maybe that's got too much.
I don't even know.
I could see you even getting oh, LAURIEA getting uncomfortable reading them.
Then it says end on a positive note, something like you know, I wish you all the best. I really enjoyed getting to know you, even though you're giving them a shit sandwich and telling them that you really didn't enjoy it that much. And then number five, the friend opt in. I think that this one is an important one. The friend opt in where you say, but we could
still be friends. You only say it if you really mean it, Like, if you're actually going to pursue a friendship, then you can throw that line in.
If you're sending this breakup text like after one or two dates, don't throw the friend thing in.
Just cut your losses.
Really, unless you need a new best friend.
Some people do collect friends, though, some people like go on single like you know, one or two dates and then they collect a friendship.
Tally.
Yeah, we have a friend that does that. That's what we give her.
Dive all the time.
Okay, but I want to give you three one liners and brit tell me what you think when you're actually going into like the breakup part of the text, I'm not feeling a deeper connection here.
Blunt to the point.
Another option, however, I don't see this progressing further between us, blunt also to the point third one. Unfortunately, I'm just not feeling a romantic connection between us.
Have you heard of kiss?
Like the analogy don't kiss them kiss? Keep it simple, stupid. You can use it in any aspect of life. Keep it simple, stupid A compliment sandwich short and sweet. Hey, Frank had a really nice time at dinner last night. It was lovely to meet you. I just don't see it going anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection or I don't think we have what I'm looking for.
I hope you have a great weekend. See you later.
No friend, no nothing, compliment, sandwich short and sweet, thank them for a nice time.
It's not you, it's me.
They're great, and.
Then get the hell out of there. It's okay, and I think people get I got way.
Better at it, like after the decade of doing it.
It's really hard at the start, but once you realize that there are a billion people in the world like you going on a date with Frank that you met online, the odds are there is no connection, like your odds is more stacked against you.
And it's not personal.
It's like two people didn't quite match.
I think it's okay, and I think we take too much pressure on ourselves for like breaking someone's heart.
He's gonna be fine, okay For me.
I was someone who was very guilty of doing the ghost not proud of it now, but I was a ghoster. I was just if it was one or two dates and I wasn't into it, I'd just go quiet. I don't think that that's the right way of handling it. And now that I'm older, more mature, and if I could go back and live my life again, I would.
Do it differently.
But tell me, do you think that after one date someone deserves a text message?
Yes?
And how many dates do you think you need to go on before it's not a text message anymore?
It's a phone call. It can always be a text. No, unless you're married.
No, I mean if you're exclusive and it's more than like a couple of dates, but a couple of dates in it can be a text one hundred percent.
Well, apparently according to this relationship expert, they said, no more than if five dates, if you've been on five dates, if that's a phone call, or you could just.
Go no, don't don't take Laura's advice.
All right, guys, Well that is it from us,