Thursday afternoon. It is the pick up Britt, Laura and Mitch thanks to Chemist ware House heading today great savings every day.
Ask our.
So asking cut It is a favorite that we do here every Thursday.
It is where you call in with.
Your biggest, deeps, darkest problems and we do our best to answer them even though we're completely unqualified. And we have someone in today who's got a relationship problem.
Yeah, Alyssa joins us. Hailey start, what's your issue? What can we help with? Hi?
I've been dating a guy for a year and a half. Now we are.
Quote unquote exclusive, but not in a relationship.
Congratulations. Wait, it's elusive, but not in a relationship.
Mean it means that we're not seeing other people.
It means we sort of act like a couple, except for the fact that there's no commitment.
You're not seeing other people, but you could if you wanted to.
We're not seeing other people, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend, which is weird because, like I, I've met his parents, I've met all of his friends, I've met his workplace, He's come to my work party. You know, we've spoken about potential overseas trips. He went and took me the other week to this like really expensive, like two thousand dollars a night at Duick's enclosure.
Seeing now, he's doing everything that you would do if you are boyfriend and girlfriend, but he doesn't want to call you his girlfriend and he doesn't want you to call him your boyfriend.
Yeah, basically, I mean, I think the only thing that I don't have is because there's not that official commitment like like once a month. Sometimes he'll just randomly go cold for like a few days.
Yeah, so what do you call each other when you go out? Like, oh, can I get a drink for my co worker, my acquaintance.
College other by each other's name.
The reason why I think that this is so like, especially because it's been going on for a year and a half, which if you want to be in a relationship with him and you want a committed relationship, is just way too long. The reason for that is because he gets all the perks of having a girlfriend. You're doing everything that a girlfriend's doing for him. He gets to have someone to call whenever he needs it. He
gets someone a booty call whenever he needs it. He has the companionship, the friendship, and zero responsibility because if he turns around to tomorrow and says, look, I don't want to be with you anymore, He's going to say, but I told you I didn't want a girlfriend totally.
Why did you? How could you possibly be.
So mad and upset with me? Because I've been telling you this whole time I didn't want a girlfriend.
These situations are absolutely fine if both parties think it's fine and it's a respectful situation. Obviously you're at a point where you don't think it's fine. You want more, and he's not being respectful to me. That's a level of disrespect. So I think if you want a relationship, you need to just tell him what you want, and if he's not going to meet you there, you need to probably walk away.
Is he older than you or is he younger? Where's he at?
And he's five years older? I know. I actually have tried to ender the couple of times, but.
Honestly, like I'm just so in love with him, I couldn't stand my ground long enough and I ended up crawling back because I just I had such bad anxiety and like every day look at my phone.
Have you have you ever given him the ultimatum around if you want this to continue, then I need more.
I need more from you.
I feel like I have an a roundabout way, I potentially haven't been directed off.
And what does he say to you when you do bring this up, even in an a roundabout way, He.
Says that he sorry, I'm getting really much.
It's really.
He says that he's not ready to love someone else because he doesn't love himself, because he within himself has the mental health stuff, which is why I want to help him, and I want to help him feel love.
As much as you love him, you need to put that love towards yourself. You can't be giving that to him because no amount of love you give him will ever be enough or we'll.
Fix that problem.
My other big question is is if he's saying these things to you, that's a huge responsibility for you to take on. And he also needs to be going and doing things like going and seeing a healthcare professional, going and speaking to a psychiatrist. If he's got real mental health problems, You're not the person who should take on the full brunt of the responsibility to fix that for him.
His mother, you're not.
And the other thing to really remember here is so you can be head over heels in love with somebody. They can love you and you cannot be right for each.
Other like that happens.
Love doesn't mean soulmate and perfection and healthy relationship. It sounds like you're not going to get what you need from him, and as high as it is, you need to look after you and put your priorities first. Yeah.
Also, sometimes a bit of space in a relationship can do wonders. Just pull yourself away, call his bluff.
Yeah, I agree.
I think sometimes giving yourself a bit of space and saying look, you know, either step up to the table or I think we might need to take a break from this might actually be the thing that makes him go okay. Well, I don't want to lose this relationship because at the the moment he's getting everything he wants without any commitment.
I feel like I can can do that, but I mind need to give you guys my phone I have read.
Is the pip. It's fine. Sometimes you have to lock mitches away too, fine, and please let us know how it goes once you have the conversation. Would love to hear.
Thanks so much, girls, I really appreciate it.
No, Lisa, I'm a boy now if you want to, if you want to get on the air with us, you can ride in. There's a full dedicated web page. Go to the pickup dot com and you just Sir Jaska and cut write in any issue. We'll do a relationship fun. It can be sixy. Next on the show, Taylor Swift tickets an entire row. Your chance to win them as she's coming to Australia for her era as World too are your chance coming up