So we had the big live on Cut podcast live show. We're in the middle of our two right.
Around the country, but last weekend it was in Sydney at the State Theater, Beautiful Theater. Now, Laura and I, it's our show, MITCHI or the MC. You're very heavily involved, very funny. Just had to live doing a great But something came up at the show that sparked a pretty fierce debate amongst the audience and the results because we got the audience involved about what they thought and.
The results were not what I thought. So I wanted to have another little discussion and really like work it out. The question was.
Can a man or a husband go and get a visectomy without consulting his partner or wife. Now I don't think this matters so much if you have kids or you don't, because I think the discussion around is going to be pretty similar. But we're all for body autonomy, right, you can do whatever you want your body. But does that still stand when it's talking about pro creating which affects two people?
Can I clarify it is a permanent of a sect.
You can reverse it, but like it's not advised to go and get it done if you intend on reversing a temporary Okay, I think I disagree. I think it is important the context. So the part of this question was that the couple already had two kids, and the woman wanted a third child and he didn't, and he had made that aware, and he hadn't gone and got the vasectomy yet, but he had booked in for the
appointment without telling her. She discovered she yeah, so he so he was going to go ahead and get it done. I think the reason why I related to this so much is because Matt and I are currently I mean, he hasn't booked himself in for aseectomy, like I canceled the appointment, but we're in those discussions, Like we're in the discussions around do we have a third child?
Yeah, because you've got two, Laura, We've got two. I've had a four year old.
I've got a two year old. We always said that if we were going to have three, would have them very back to back. But our two year old is almost a three year old. Like she's she's well out of the nappy phase now, she's out of the baby phase. And Matt always really wanted three kids, like he was hell bent on it, and the time I wasn't so sure.
Now he's changed his mind. Matt doesn't want any more kids, and I think I am, like, my feelings have changed so much in the past six months, and I want a third.
Do you think your feelings have changed because he have changed?
Like you know when someone pulls something away from you, like, hang on a minute, maybe I want that.
No, my feelings have changed because so for for the very reason that Matt doesn't want to go back to having babies is the exact reason why my feelings have changed. Because I'm out of the trenches now with having babies that I've had. I've come up for air and I feel better about myself. I feel better about my body. So you want to feel like I'm okay with my
work again. I can see myself managing it again with a third Whereas when I was in the trenches, I couldn't possibly add another baby onto those trenches, like it was too hard. And now it's really hard for us because I know he doesn't want to have a third child, and so we're having those big conversations about the fact that we're not on the same page with it anymore.
So then how would you feel if knowing this now we found out he had booked in for a second without telling you.
I think I would feel very betrayed. Not because I mean, I understand that you know my husband's body. It's his body. He has his own autonomy, but I would hope that there's still a discussion around it. But in the same instance, I respect the fact that one of the big things he's said is is that he feels that if we were to have another child, it would impact our relationship, Like there comes a point where when you're so busy with work and you're so busy with your other children
that you can't prioritize your relationship as much. And our relationship for the past couple of years, especially when you have young children, has come second to having young children often. And I think he's at the point where he's like, well, can we not get back to a place where our relationship is number one priority? So why do you want to add more stress when we're just coming to a place of being great again.
It's a hard discussion, isn't it.
And I know it's I mean, I understand it's a privileged discussion because there's so many people who struggle to have any children, and we've had our own issues in terms of carriages, and we've had our hard times with fertility as well. But for some reason, I'm now dealing with the acceptance that maybe our family unit having three kids is not going to happen, and we will just have the two beautiful kids that we have.
Interesting, what's of lots of chats you have to have.
To unpack still, but you're not on the same page.
There's the phone because they're still practicing, they're still undecided.
I've got some existential family crisis is going on at the moment.