Let's do this Aska, all right? So Asking Cut is something that we do every week on My Phone Cut our podcast, and it's where you guys call up with your biggest, deep as darkest problems and we do our absolute best to answer them. And on today's show, we have Billy and Billy has a real friendship conundrum. How do you break up with a friend? Hi?
Billy? Hi? Bill? What's going on? Hi? There's a lot, but I can narrow it down a little bit. So I have a friend that I met about seven months ago, but over the past few months, we've been spending kind of a lot more time, like one on one outside of the little friend group we have, and over I guess the past like two three weeks, it's just dawned on me that every time after we hang out, I'm absolutely drink and exhausted and just like, this doesn't feel good anymore the more I'm getting to know.
Her, Billy, are you really American? Or is this a cover so she doesn't he know who you are?
Oh?
Oh yeah, no, Oh I'm pure Texan.
Okay, great, just wanted to confirms I've.
Roped out in here more context and that would be funny. Hold on let me put on my other accent. Well, you sound like a fun friend.
So clearly she's the problem, because you wait, what is the problem? Is the problem that you don't know hard to distance yourself from her? You want to break up with her properly, Like what is the what's the issue?
The real issue is? Like, if I want to end the friendship, what do you guys think is the best way to do that? Because I have friends telling me we'll do the slow fade, you know, I'm like, oh, that doesn't work. I'm going to do slow fade. I go do I just directly say.
Nah, you do not sit it down and break up. It's a slow fade.
I think you break up with a romantic relationship like you have a one on one chat with her. You an't slow fade or romantic relationship, but a friendship you can slow fade. I think you can say I'm busy this week, Oh there's a lot going on, get a bit like less frequent with the cakes, replying it's not that.
Top it is than sitting them down and saying, hey, look, this is ending.
That is wayward.
Yeah, because that does feel like a breakup, and I'm afraid of kind of hurting her ego just based off of like problematic behavior.
The problem also is is if you're in the same group of friends and you're always going to be around each other in a group, you can't have that really weird conflict of you saying I don't want to be friends anymore because you're always going to be around each other. But you can slow fade the one on one time at the end of the day. As adults, which I'm assuming you are as adults, we are very time paul, So you do need to be selective with like who
you are giving your time to. Time is such like a precious commodity, and it's pretty easy to say, hey, I am flat out at the moment, like I don't have a lot of spare time, and then you just they're going to read the room. I hope.
Okay, yeah, I think so. I think if I just kind of slowly do it and try to be a little meticulous, I think if it gets a point where the boundaries keep getting cross, maybe that's when I should sit down with her, But just a slow fade when it works.
What's your fear of slow fade? Like, why do you think she's not going to get it.
I think I just fear that it will take a lot of my energy. What you need to do is at least tell them, Billy, you need to at least just say, hey, I think you're a bit much.
Not break up with them, but I think you need to say, like, this is intense, this.
Is too much.
No, Midge, No, don't listen to me.
I have never had that conversation with a friend, and I have slow faded a couple. You're not too much.
Where is the queen of slow fade?
I mean, I'm just sorry.
He brought up a great point. It was a great point about the social group that we have because we will be around each other a lot. And yeah, you know, I feel like a solid like friend breakup could be pretty muschy.
It would get for everyone. The whole group is like, Oh, we want to have a birthday party, but we can't invite Frank and Sally because they're fighting.
You know what I mean, great to break and we'll give you. I'm all about it. Well, I hope that.
Helps you work with that and slow fade, I reckon.
I worries you can get into if you want to ask us a question as well.
You know, It's a big thing though. Right, there's so many tools out there for how to break up with romantic relationships, but no one tells you how to, like, how to, you know, put some distance between you and a friend. It's very hard.
It's hey, coming up. We want to know what your biggest secret is about your profession, something that the general public wouldn't know or that'd be really shocked about. Because there is a thread that has me hook line and sink a. Someone is spilling the tea online like.
In radio, how we steal some of the prizes that are left over?
We don't you do? It's amazing.
I don't think that that's an industry. Think, bitch, it's just.
A personal crime.
I'm going going to federal prison. That's after this