Fast Ask One part is a bit of a fan favorite here at the Pickup and something that Laura and I do on our podcast Life Uncut. Every single week, you guys write in, or call up, or text into the line your predicaments of the week. We do our best to answer them. Today we have one that we haven't had before. Sam is having some issues with her boss at work, making it feel very uncomfortable.
Hi, Samy, talk to us. What's going on?
Okay? So, I'm an executive assistant in an office type environment to a male boss. And as time's gone on over the last nine months that I've been in this role, he's just getting a little bit more flirtatious, a little bit more perhaps out of line with his comments. And it's just I just don't know what I should do because I'm nervous of losing my own job.
I guess is it your direct boss?
Yes? Correct? Money?
Do you have HR in the company, Like, is it a big enough company that there's other people that you can too about this as well? Or is it a really small company wreck? Kind of nice? It's tricky.
It's a really big company. So we do have HR. I guess he just hasn't done anything that completely crosses the boundary that makes me question, if I go to hr am, I just putting myself in a horrible position of not getting like promoted or anything along those lines.
Well, what's doing?
Yes, Sam, Like, if you don't mind us asking what are the kinds of things that he's doing on a daily basis?
Okay, so just comments of like oh, I mean general comments of you look nice today, or I really like that skirt, or you know, just comments about what I'm wearing or how I'm dressed is the first one. But then he does go another step at times where he'll ask about my weekend and say things like, so where did you finish the night? Oh, I would have loved to have been there, And that's.
That's yeah, And I reckon. I mean, I don't know how you feel comfortable addressing this situation, but I think sometimes the best way and the best course of action is saying it in the moment. Like if he says makes that comment, oh, I would have liked to have been there, just be like, oh, that makes me feel pretty uncomfortable when you say that. And the thing is is that the more that he says these things and
gets away with it. The more that he starts to think you're okay with it when you're absolutely not testing the water. Yeah, and then he's pushing the envelope a little bit further. And I'm so sorry you're in this position, because you shouldn't go to work and have to be
made to feel uncomfortable by anyone. But I do think that if you don't say something, you're either going to get to a place where it's gone on for so long that you don't know how to manage it, or it's going to turn into such a big thing that you feel really uncomfortable in your own workplace.
Yeah. And also I would say, if I understand, and I know why, you don't want it to become a public issue and you don't want him to be aware of it, at least let hr know. So then if one day it does progress to a point where you're extremely uncomfortable, there's a paper trail and it's not you know, boy who gribe wolf, which unfortunately is what happens in these big workplaces, especially when you're working with executives.
Yeah, I mean, look, I mean, talking from my own experience, I had a really uncomfortable I mean more than uncomfortable. I had a real like so harassment situation happened with me when I was in my twenties and I was too young, and I also didn't know how to handle it. And I look back on that time in my life and if I had addressed it sooner, I know it could have been managed. But it just it was the type of thing that the longer I left it, the worse the situation got for myself.
Oh I'm sorry, Law's And what now is you're older, you look back and you think would you have done it differently?
Yeah, at the time, one hundred percent. At the time, I think I was like, oh, you know, he'd had a few drinks, and like, I don't want to get him into trouble, and I think I had a lot of not compassion for him, but I kind of didn't want to make a big deal out of something that
maybe would go away. And then a year later, I was still dealing with the same thing and I ended up quitting my job because of his actions, which is crazy when I think about it now, But I was twenty two and I didn't know what to do.
Yeah, And you definitely shouldn't have to leave your job because you're uncomfortable, Sam. The only other thing I would say here is you said at the start he hasn't crossed the line or done anything wrong to me. I think he has saying to you he wishes he was there when you wherever you ended your night. Is crossing a line, and it doesn't have to be physical. He's literally saying I wish I was physically with you where if you were. That's inappropriate.
Let talk to HR.
Okay, thank you, Thanks everyone.
No worries.
Sam.
If you've got a question you need some help, if you can head to the pickup dot com DOTU and you can enter your question on the wind page and we'll get in touch. Just sucks, it does hey. Next, imagine being stuck between a rock and another rock for seven hours until you are finally rescued. That is a true story that's happened this week to a nassy girl. And this rescue story, I can't wait for the day becomes an Oscar winning movie. I'll see the details after this on the Pickup