Now the show that everyone across the country is talking about, as they always are, it is married at First Sight. And if you were across last night's show, something went down on the couch when they were sitting across from the relationship experts. So Athena and Adrian, they are the couple that are at ground zero of a bit of controversy at the moment regarding a promo shoot that Adrian was unfortunately a bit but hurt about that he got
left out of. And also it comes down to this commitment ceremony, you know when one person writes leave and the other person writes stay. So Afena, she wanted to leave the experiment and Adrian decided to stay. But we have Afena on the phone. Afena, welcome to the show.
Helloi, thank you for having me.
Afina. I have a question that annoys me so much about this show. Last night, you wrote at the ceremony that you wanted to leave and Adrian wrote stay. And it's like, I know, a lot of the public has been angered by the fact that you are saying, Hey, I don't want to be here anymore, and we are seeing you be forced to stay. What does that feel like? And do you actually, like, are you contractually obliged to have to stay or could you if you really really needed to get up and walk out.
So even for myself that in that moment, it was really confusing because I don't watch LERGIV. I'm not watching Math prior to this, so I don't really know all the rules. But I was so sad that I was going home, Like I'd already contacted my family and saying like tonight, you know, I'm we're coming home tomorrow. I'd already kind of laid the foundation to go back to work.
I'd contacted work saying I'll be back, you know, xbosa, to go back to work, Like I thought there was no way that we could be staying at this point in time, like we're both done, very evidently we are both done. But when he wrote day, my first reaction was you've let me down again. Yeah, like you were really letting me down in this moment, because I couldn't fathom why you would put stay at this point in time, And another part of me was do I have to stay?
And I did kind of mention, you know, to production, like I'm going home, you know, And there was that, you know, that awkward kind of conversation where it's like, oh, that's not.
The rules of this experiment, like you physically aren't allowed to, like you could get in trouble from a contract do you sign? Because that just seems so crazy to me that you were forced to stay somewhere you don't want to be.
You know, I think Heinz that's a really beautiful thing. When you're in that moment and you kind of living in all you know, your sadness, and you're going, I really want to go home. But when they're saying that you can't, you kind of have that little bit of element like, oh I can't. Like I know it sounds so crazy outside perspective, but I was so like, oh cool, I'm going home and they're like, no, that's not part of the rules. You almost feel like oh okay, like
there's rules I have to kind of stay. But Heinz, that's a beautiful thing. And you're watching back and you're like, did I have to a fema? Like yeah?
Do you know what?
Though?
I think like you become institutionalized and the producers it is their job to get you to do the things that they need you to do. Creating a TV show and I honestly do think that, like so much of it, you almost become like worried about disappointing people by not following the rules because you feel guilty that you've stepped outside of of what you've been told that you're supposed to do. And I say this from you know, doing
The Bachelor of many many moons ago. You kind of find yourself in this weird situation where you're almost being obedient because you feel as though it's what you have to do.
Oh, I feel that, And there is that guilt factor as well. You do feel guilty. You're like, Okay, someone else's here on this experience and you know they're saying stay and they're trying and they want to give it a go. And then you do have that element of production and external voices also kind of it's not really a relationship between two people. It's a relationship between like, you know, twenty people produce.
Yeah, that's so interesting. Hey, Athina, talk to me a bit about Adrian. So we saw that he kicked up a bit of a stink or actually a very big stink over the fact that he wasn't included in this maths pro video that was created. He left his ring on the table and he walked out as though he'd thrown his toys out of the prem Very dramatic, But there's been he's dose interviews since and he said that that's not how it went down, and that he was actually told by producers that he had to leave the show.
What is your version of the events of what happened?
Adrian struggles with accountability, But I understand, like I can look at it from an empathetic point of view. You were hurt, your ego was bruised, You did feel left out, he felt excluded. I just think that there were so many other ways he could have handled that situation and he chose wrong.
So do you think that he chose to leave and he's making an excuse saying that they told him to go, or do you think the producers genuinely said pack your bags and go trying to.
Like Adrian made that decision to leave. Ye, right, he needs to have some accountability, Jose. But for him, I think it was feelings. He was feeling hurt. Yeah, he was feeling like he was a victim at this moment. He was upset, and he really acted on those of the more then if he had leant in with vulnerability, we would have had such a different outcome if he had said, I'm hurt, I'm feeling, you know, disincluded. I'm unsure why, like we could have tackled it together. Again,
I've said it multiple times. I think I've shown at this point I can be very empathetic to most situations, and I'm here to be your partner and your teammate, but you need to help me help you, and at this point you weren't giving me much.
Well, this is what he said. He said, I'm pissed off that I'm not in the promo. It's disrespectful and I'm not going to be treated like that. I'm not coming back until they get me in the promo. Even just reading that, do you, when you think about like your experience in there and what it was like to be alongside him partnered, do you think he was in there because he wanted a relationship or do you think he was in there because he wanted the fame that comes with being on Maths.
It's really hard because I dreamed one hundred percent believe that some people were on there for what comes afterwards. But I do think that those same people also were open to love. You know, everyone used such different language. I know I went in there and I just couldn't wait to meet this person. I think for him, you know, the bonus would have been if the person at the end of the hour was a match.
Yeah right, you know I have to just like try.
I love the positivity on them. Could be probably isn't, but we'll see.
You got a producer right behind. I do have to say one thing. I'm trying to put myself in that position. Like if I was on The Bachelor and every other cast member was in a promo and I wasn't, and they were like, go sit outside, your brain would start to be like, well, hang on, what's going on here? Is something going to happen to me on this show and that's why they're not included me, Like you might start to be I can understand why his ego is.
I don't think you're handled it the right way, but I do want to know you've got some of you guys going very rogue, like Jackie on her socials is just like spilling the absolute tea, and we know that you're not allowed to do that. We know contractually you're not. You're supposed to hand over your social media? Is there any backlash or repercussions? Like, are you guys getting in trouble for this stuff?
Honestly, I've been asked myself the same question. I'm kind of like, it almost feels like certain people just get away with murder. What are the repercussions? Maybe I'm gonna go rogue, Yeah, tell us something. There was moments in that experiment, Yeah, that absolutely have been cut from what's being shown, And there was moments where we you know, there is that little bit of coersion, and there was moments where we just didn't show up authentically as ourselves.
I do think that a lot of the applicants going rogue right now, you're probably better off not going rogue because I think they're not actually helping themselves. Like from what I'm seeing from these rogue pos and these rogue podcasts or channels or everything they're doing. I'm like the character that you want to show people who you are, Like there better version, You're not doing that right now.
Do you think that people have been shown pretty much on par with how they behaved, because everyone always comes out and says like, oh, it's the edit, I'm actually this person, not that person. From your experience, do you think that it's been pretty honest to the way people were in that experiment?
From what I've seen so far, it's absolutely been what I've seen when I was in this experiment. That's the characters that can shine. But also one thing I will be honest about is I'm not behind closed doors. I don't know what conversations are having off camera. I don't know everyone's situation to maybe how they acted was not authentic to who they were. I know myself personally, there was some moments in that experiment where I'm like, that's not me, but how I'm feeling and when you're around
all this negativity sometimes that manifests outwards. So I don't know what they were going through. But what I've seen so far are the characters that I've seen in real life. But I do think there were more high moments in most relationships, but you're not going to show those. You're going to show just the crash of the roller coaster, not the highest that come with it.
And Afina, you also have like such a different element to it as well, because I mean, when you have kids and you're going into an experiment like this, like you have a six year so the stakes are so much higher. It's not just a reality TV show. You have to consider how it affects your family at home and also the type of person that you're potentially bringing
into your family at home. What was going through your head when you're in the situation where you're wanting to leave to get back to your son and you're being told that you're going to stay.
I was really sad. I just I really got into my victim mentality, which I shouldn't have. You know, we're all going through our own struggles and trials. But I did think to myself, like, this person's not going to be, you know, a role model to my child right now. And I feel like we tolerate more in ourselves than we ever would on our children. I know it sounds really bad, but you know, the behaviors and the actions
and everything else. Had I been in that experiment with my son right next to me, would I have stayed week once? I don't know, like, probably not. But I'm so disconnected from my son and I'm disconnected from my reality. And you know, even though it's on the back of my head every day, like if this person's gonna be good enough for my child. You do kind of lose that sense of reality and you're kind of stuck. Oh, it's he and I in this relationship, but it was hard.
So Fanny's still together.
You just have to watch him.
Fine now, all right, Well we're gonna stay tuned. We're all. You've got a hook line and singer, so I can't wait to see what happens. But I hope whatever it is, love and happiness does find you and your son.
Look, maybe I rub off an Adrian. You know.
Well, we
Thanks so much of Ana, all right, thank you, bye,