FULLSHOW! Worst first date stories you have ever heard! ❤️

Laura, come on, hello, Happy Monday as I'm calling it Happy pad padam Celebration Day, everybody.

Oh, that's a I think we need to shorten that. Let's just call it Happy for Doom Day.

Yeah to you, Brittany's because the other Grammy nominations are out.

Yeah, in our very own Kylie Minogue, actually a few he's got nominated. But Kylie Minogue, thank god got nominated for arm because I just took over the world.

That song is such a banger. But also, I mean, if you've looked at that nomination list, there are so many women like they have overtaken the whole Grammy.

There's only one man. It's all women. It's literally all women.

Miley Cyrus, Billie Eilish, Olivia Rodrigo.

She even got Voluntail, Swift Weir and.

The man is a gay man in choice of art and another Ossie as well.

You've got a bit of a soft spot for Troy, don't you miss?

Totally women and gay men like that's this show.

We are embodying us from top to bottom, isn't it?

Literally?

When we said that, all right, now, welcome to the top to bottom.

You would talk about a bottom anyway, Okay, do you know what I wanted to tell you? Guys, kids really test us, And if you're a parent, you know what I mean. But I reckon, my daughter Mally May had the world's most ridiculous tantrum on the weekend. I think she wins the award for that. I'm going to tell you all.

About it next.

All right, let's go, the pick up is on for your Monday welcome.

Now, if you're a parent, you would know that little kids are.

Put on this earth to test us, to test our patience, to test our boundaries, to.

Test your pelvic floor muscles. Did they do that as well?

Yeah, but just to test you in every way, and they really love to push the limits. Now, I want to know if your kids, give us a call and let me make me feel better about this. I want to know the most ridiculous tantrums that your kids have ever had, because I think my child, Marley May, she's four years old, I reckon she probably had the most.

Hellis tantrum that's ever happened.

On the worst tantrum number one, the winner of all tantrums.

Wow, where were you? What happened?

Okay?

So we were walking, we were out on the street in public. We were walking to.

The public tantrum, and they are good because you have to try and decide are you going to discipline or are you just going to kind of drag them away from the scene of the crime, right, Like you've got to try and figure out how you're gonna how you're going.

To mediate these sorts of tantrums.

So we're walking along, we're right out the front of a very very busy cafe, and we've been talking about family structures, like we've been talking about my mum and my dad and how that's nana and granddad and kind of like where she fits in our family tree.

And all of a sudden, she says, Mummy, so I'm a twin.

And she's put two and.

Two together because she has a sister, Lola. However, her sister is two years younger than her. And I was like, no, sweetie, Like, a twin is someone who's born on the same day. You know, you both shared mummy's tummy at the same time, I'm trying to explain what a twin is to a four year old, which, mind you, it sounds easy. That's a really hard call, Like that's a really complex thing to try try and explain to a four year old, and she turned around. She was like, no, Mummy, I'm

A twin, I'm a twin.

Mummy, you're the.

Worst mummy ever, And so I what do you do? At that point, I was like, okay, give a biology lesson.

I was a girlfriend. If you want to be a twin, you can be a twin.

Get up.

There's people the cafe table who was sitting next to us laughing, but me sombarrassed. I was conceding. I was like, if you want to be a twin, you can be a twin. That wasn't enough, she canntinued to screen.

Do you think con seating is the right thing to do here? Obviously you want the tantrum to end Laura, But do you think it's more like, I don't know, maybe biologically she should understand that she's not a twin.

You know, there's a hills that you have to choose whether you're going to die on them, and dying on the am I a twin hill was not the hill that I was. I was, I was so dumb And this went on for I'm not kidding five minutes and I ended up dragging her by her feet back into the pram.

It was a whole scene.

Christy, if you had you or your child, you had tantrum like this.

Yesterday one was the funniest in a while.

So my seven year old.

Try the slight melt down yesterday because the sky was too broad.

Right, But seven sevent is not where I put tantrums. I thought, tantrums.

I've seen a tantrum.

Yeah, if I don't get avocado or my rap as a tantrum.

Tomorrow, Hi what was your kid's tantrum about?

So we were doing our usual breakfast routine and we were asters in the tellowtoast, and because I couldn't carve it into a butterfly, our meltdown was more over. Yeah, then you didn't want to try to carve it into a butterfly, or your artistic skills aren't up to scratch. Look, I'm no artists, So there was no way I could get this butterfly.

That's a hard shape, Like do a stuff that's a moth.

She's like, what is this? Do you know what? I used to have tantrums when my mummy.

You went through this phase where she always used to put those you know those I forget what they call their leggings, but they have the stirrups on them.

They go under your feet. Oh yeah, you Supray used to have them. I hated them.

Mum used to always make me wear them, and I remember tantrum every time. I was like, they're uncomfortable on my feet. They rubbed, they blister, they don't. I just didn't want to wear them, and I constantly had that tantrum as a kid.

It's because you were a fashion icon brite, even when you were like, three, yes, don't maybe wear this outther house?

Mum, I think you're fine. Fine is pronounced fashion. All right, Well, coming up, Mitch.

You're in the dating world at the moment, and I know you say how tough it is, but I reckon, I have come across this single worst first date in the history of the world.

You haven't spoken to one of my suitors, have you, Yeah.

This came from one of the guys you've been dating.

Fantastic intervention.

Oh wait on the pickup.

Now, if you were out there in the dating game, you know, going out there on your single dates, just trying to meet someone, it is tough.

That's my life at the moment with.

That for six years. What are you talking about?

I did it for ten years, though I know and tell me I had some pretty terrible dates back in the day. But I came across what I think could possibly have been the worst date in the history of first dates. Now, we all can agree that it's quite important not to waste food, but the question is how far would you go? So this woman has gone out on a date with a guy who she metch with.

No, I don't worry. I don't need a menu.

And she goes, oh, you're just going to get a drink, Like we're not We're not doing food. Then he goes, no, no, you water, But I hate seeing food wasted.

I'm just gonna have what's left on these plates.

Here, no on the on the tables around him.

And he points to the table next to him and right there is a bit of cold toast, some shriveled up sausages, and he was like, I'm quite happy to eat this. And the woman was like, okay, talk me through, talk me through what's going on here, Like, you know, the cost of living is harsh.

What has happened could be a joke. Maybe he's being silly.

Maybe maybe he's joking.

No, he hated seeing the wastage of food so much that he then took the plate of food and started eating what was left next to him by people who had been sitting there.

Actually part of it I get. I'm like, cool, you don't always food, Like I love that about you. But you don't eat Somebody else's in a world of COVID germ, you don't eat someone's food on week six.

If you were that crazy you hold that in first state is not going to cut it.

I don't think I would ever twenty years deep into a marriage. My partner's not eating someone else. You don't even fart around your partner. You're not going to eat food or a plate next door.

Or are you comparing eating some strangers leftover food a restaurant to doing a whiz pop?

Sorry, really, take you are so weird?

I will just say that I actually think i'd get I think there'd be an instant second date.

Like he cares about the world and starvation. I would go, marry me. That's beautiful. That is beautiful.

Yes, I've dated for only I mean in relationship for a year, but I was dating incessantly, NonStop. I was lining those bad boys up for a solid decade on every dating app, everywhere I could find them.

They were lined up. Rather, I was trying.

Went on so many dates in Australia that she ended up having to date someone overseas, and she exhausted the allocation.

Actually had to download the Pakistani version of Tinder just so she could get a new pool of men.

And I also remember there's this one guy, Like I have a list, I could tell you guys of bad first dates.

But I remember this one guy rattle. Oh okay, you tell me trying.

You want to hear about the guy that wanted to share, taking share to the new level, so he took food.

Directly off my plate.

The guy that had a really great banter online, but turns out he couldn't speak English in person, thanks Google Translate. Also the guy that made me get twenty dollars out of the atm mache to pay for our lunch. There was the guy that told me he left his wallet on the bus after our entire meal with drinks.

What else you want to I've got a hundred one hundred.

Different The guy that took me to a museum and then said he had to leave and left me at the museum.

So wait, you slept over night at the museum?

She said, Yeah, I was that movie A Night at the Museum. It was based on me.

They Come Alive. Yeah, is that how you met Rebet Wilson.

I want to know what was out of all the bad first dates you've had, what was the worst.

The most awkward.

One was the guy that the banter was great and the convo was great, very he was very articulate, right, like, very intelligent, very well constructed sentences. But that was because he didn't actually speak English, and he was Google translating everything, so Google Translate for the text would translate everything and put it into the text.

So I just thought this guy was really intelligent, which.

He could have been, but I'll never know because I couldn't speak to him when we got to the date.

He didn't speak English. Wait, what what nationality was? He was Brazilian?

Wow?

Okay, so, and he was fully doing Google Translate for every conversation. And at no point, Britt, did he decide to tell you that prior, just so you were told me.

Yeah, he told me where he was from.

But I assumed because he was speaking in texting in English he spoke English, but he didn't.

He was just translated.

He circled back to the museum. Did you get there with him?

And then did he just like he was in London? Yeah, that was in London.

We got there and then he said, I can't remember what excuse you did, but obviously he didn't like the way I looked or what something, or maybe he maybe there was an emergency, but he he just left me at the museum, and I'd already paid to get in, so I stayed in there.

It wasn't a free me.

Did he say that he needed to go to the bathroom? Was there any explanation for that?

I have to go No. I think it was one of those like my friend called kind of things.

Got it, You've really made it out and you found your beautiful boyfriend.

He left me at the museum. I date the museum.

Is that why you got with him so quickly? Like job, that's such a bad run. I'll take what I can get.

A room, boyfriends six months and beautiful.

That's why I said yes.

All right. Hey.

Next on the show, were almost had a run in that ended brit in hospital over the weekend. This is true, and I can say this but a fan and this happens sometimes with you know, being best friends with you.

Know, YouTube must stop. It's very hard.

A fan almost ended Britt in hospital when we were out together on the weekend. And let me just say, a bucket load of vomit was involved. Yeah, I don't want to well, I'm reliving it. Block your nose, guys, it's next on the pickup. So we were all hanging out on the weekend.

Where't we go?

We were because we actually are real friends outside of work.

Were paid for three outings together a year and that was.

The contracted with Beautiful Producers birthday.

It was our Beautiful producer Tony. It was a birthday.

So we all went out to a pub and we all had some drinks. So Laura was there, Britt, you were there, I was there. We were all hanging out and it was like a beautiful modern seating area.

The bar was right next to the bench.

Seating, very fancy.

Yeah, it was beautiful. So Laura, you left right before this happened.

I was only there for a short period of time, had some kids to get home to, and I smoke bombed earlier in the afternoon.

Thank god you did.

You're lucky. You were the winner.

Oh my god.

We're sitting there and as we're in Britt and I are there, we're drinking out of coconut sugar, and we hear this commotion happening at the bar, like we we kind of hear like clanking and screaming and moaning and groaning.

You're like ah, and then something spoils over.

And then we see a woman like a Poulter glass like a dementor, and Harry Potter like just rush to the bathrooms.

We go, what is going on over there?

What happened?

The gossip gets back to us at the.

Taks, makes its way back through the bar.

Oh yeah, you know when something happened at a bar, everyone's talking about it. A young girl had too many drinks, went to the bar to make another run. As she put her hands down on the mahogany wood, she vomited all over, projected all over the bar and the bar tender.

I feel I can't even it was vomit. It makes me feel sick.

Yeah, the physically, the smell of vomit, the look of vomit like makes you feel sick.

But it was like she it was like like an exo.

It came out of nowhere because she was just like happy, bubbly, nothing went up to order for the drink and then just put her hands on the bar and then it went poltergeisty like out the mountain.

So the worst part was everyone was kind of like, who's that girl? Who's that girl? Because no one saw her.

How did this girl not get kicked out.

That's what she flew to the bathroom. I told you, like a demento.

Yeah, she ran off.

We thought she was gone. Fast forward to about twenty minutes time. No one knows what the phantom vomited demon girl looks like. We're sitting there, Britt and I go up to get a drink. And the only way I can describe it as like in those zombie movies when the zombie like sees fresh blood. This woman notices Britt. You know you and you guys are recognizable. She sees Britt out of the corner of her eyes, just like a zombie. She her hands are up like a t rex.

She goes really.

Day and she makes an absolute bee line for us. Now we couldn't still be sure that this was the vomit girl, but she came up through.

Or a chunk of vomit, and nine year that.

She gave us all are hard because she was really sweet, a really big fan, and I could smell the moment and she was you know when you have had a few drinks and you want to be really close to someone, like rubbing up on them and stuff.

She was so close to me.

And all like it smells, and I'm a sympathetic vomitor. So I'm I'm trying to talk to this girl politely and I'm like.

Oh, please, please, you're being polite. I was like the secret Service next to President Biden. I had to jump in front of brit in slow and a nugget of aaronsheenie landed on my cheek in front of it.

To save Britt. She's stunk.

Guys, I feel physically sick by this. So what did you do?

Because obviously you want to be nice? Someone who hears and like follows the show, follows the podcast.

And what do you dorit?

Do you want to get a selfie?

Baby?

Don't think you do when you look at this photo. The next day.

We got a nice little photo and then I said, do you want a glass of water?

All right, well, listen before we go, we have a thousand dollars cash up for grabs thanks to Target.

What a good time for thousand bucks too?

Right before Chrissy, my god, it would be absolutely perfect. So this is I've got the Target present in front of me. All you need to do is tell me what is inside my gift box.

It's gonna be a hard one to guess. What do you think it is? Well, when I want to guess, because if we guess and get.

It right, all right, all right, Well, a thousand dollars could be yours if you can guess what that sound is.

Correct, targets all over my hands, the pickup dot com dot You have a guess, and a thousand bucks could be yours.

We'll see tomorrow.

Bye guys,