FULLSHOW! The girls make a feature on Mitches dating profile 😎 - podcast episode cover

FULLSHOW! The girls make a feature on Mitches dating profile 😎

Sep 15, 2023•15 min
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Transcript

Speaker 1

Laura and come on there. Oho Friday's here t g I F vibes. You know he's feeling the vibes. Laura Burney just walked in here. Clearly there. The economy shortages have really hit Laura hard because she's got a gravy boat filled with water that she's using as a glass.

Speaker 2

She's drinking out of a gravy boat.

Speaker 3

I'm sorry, do you know this has got nothing to do with me. This is the fact that there's no cups or anything or bottles of water in the studio. I think we're really should we reconsider this?

Speaker 4

We're really out in our employer here. There is.

Speaker 3

There's no water in this studio. I'm literally drinking out of the tiniest little it's like a little tea cup. And they do have a gravy boat. Laura walked in.

Speaker 1

She was sipping a gravy butter and got some grave box in there. Your sugar levels levels are lower.

Speaker 3

That she's going to put it in her handbag as well'll take it home.

Speaker 2

It's royal Dalton, she'll steal that.

Speaker 1

Well.

Speaker 3

Look, it's been a hard year for everybody, so I'll pop this on in my handbag right now. No, Look, I have something. I've got some information for you that I think is going to change your life. No, I know that you're really against farting in front of your partner, Ben. We've spoken about it on the show before. Brittany is really against the very natural, bodily function of a fart, and I have some hard evidence as to why you should never hold one in. Oh, I can't wait for this.

I'll change your mind.

Speaker 1

You're gonna let it out next Yeah, I'm gonna release release next show. All right, gassing it up after this, You're on the pickup thanks to Chemists Warehouse set in today. Great savings every day. It's the Pickup with britt Laura and Mitch. Here Friday afternoon. Rush into Chemists Warehouse for half price off vitamins and cosmetics, teas and seas. Apply Chemist Warehouse, Great savings every day.

Speaker 4

You guys won't remember last week. I think it was we were talking about non sea curious things you keep from your partner, like harmless secrets. Right, you know, a little white lie that's okay to tell.

Speaker 3

We've all got them. I don't care who you are.

Speaker 4

Like people that say they don't fight, you do fart you do keep secrets from your partner. My partner, Ben lives overseas, and it means it's quite easy to keep things from him, for.

Speaker 3

It lies to him more on a technicality, because you can innocent innocent things.

Speaker 4

Anyway, I was telling you guys about what I keep from Ben, and that is that I pretend that I cook more than I do.

Speaker 2

Oh yeah, because I'm a terrible cook.

Speaker 3

He's an athlete.

Speaker 4

He always wants me to be eating well and vegetables, and I can never be bothered.

Speaker 3

I'm always eting Coco pops. This is what I had to say. So I often will just like sit.

Speaker 4

Down with my bowl of Coca Pubs and I'll just find like a picture online of Hallo fresh of a meal and I'll send it to him. So I don't realize that Ben listens to the Pickup, So he all the way from Scotland. He tunes into the podcast version that we drop on the weekend. We put it in the Pickup and we put all the highlights. I didn't even think about it.

Speaker 3

Wait, he listens every week to the catch up show. Apparently it's dedication.

Speaker 2

Because that's actually quite lovely, that's beautiful.

Speaker 4

So he heard he heard what I do, and a couple of nights ago, he was like, where'd you have the dinners in it?

Speaker 3

And I told him and he's like, how did you say? How did you cook it? Fully trying to catch me out, So I sent him a picture and he's like, you're a liar.

Speaker 4

He's like, you've already sent me that picture. I sent him a double up picture, literally, send me a picture. I'm send him like you've already said a month ago. And I was like, and I got my back up about it. I was like, I would never lie to you. I can't gasps. I was like, I can't believe you'd call me a liar, ben, And he's, dare even if you are?

Speaker 2

Like my job?

Speaker 3

Yeah? And how yeah? I know I would be. I'll double down as well healthy.

Speaker 4

So I doubled down and we ended up having it out and he's like, I heard you.

Speaker 3

I can't believe this was a test. And I was like, oh, so you're testing me now.

Speaker 4

Anyway, I had to make a promise to him that I would no longer have Coca Pops for dinner or night because it isn't healthy, and I would eat vegetables.

Speaker 3

How's that going? Instant karma.

Speaker 4

Two nights later been last night, I was like, I just won't tell him, but I'm gonna have Coco Pops for dinner again. Anyway, the soy milk that I had was completely off and I spent the whole night on the toilet both ends.

Speaker 3

He did that to you, Ben was like, I know you're lying to me, and somehow through his smarty little Scottish senses, he made you go off.

Speaker 4

Well, I think this is the moral of the story, right You can't lie to your partner.

Speaker 3

Oh I think you can.

Speaker 1

Last week Laura britt was going, it's okay to light to your partner.

Speaker 2

Now she has one sip of sour soy milk and he's going, never.

Speaker 3

I'm cheating on the vegetables with the Coca Pops. I'm not cheating it, okay. I want to know how Ben feels knowing that you said on national radio within Australia that it's okay to light to your partner even if it is white light. Like what was his take on the whole thing? Apart being the food? That's the pickup.

Speaker 1

And Brittain band are no longer together all right now? Next on the show, I Am I'm a single boy. I'm in my dating era and I'm starting to go back on dates and I've just got back on the apps. Here's the thing. They've changed so much since I've been single. I was in a relationship for five years. It's a whole new world. But there is a way that I think I can incorporate the two of you, Britain Laura into my dating profile.

Speaker 3

Don't du.

Speaker 1

No, no no, it's not not in that regard. It's it's something you can do on the show and we'll do it next here at the pickup. It's the pick Up right around Australia with Britt, Laura and Mitch. Welcome everyone. Hi, by the way, we're here for Chemists Warehouse heading today.

Speaker 2

Grete Savings every day.

Speaker 1

I don't know if I've told you girls this, but I am recently single. I'm a single boy. Yeah we know, it's been twelve years. I'm recently single and I am back on the apps.

Speaker 3

Oh exciting. Well we're doing which are absou you using at the moment?

Speaker 1

Not only on Hinge, I've heard hinges of the app to go on. It's the nice one, it's the fun one, it's the chill I.

Speaker 3

Think it's a bit more serious. I think people actually looking for relationships on them exactly.

Speaker 1

So that's why I like it. And also this was at the at the support of my therapist. I don't want to go on, but she was like, go on the apps, get some attention, get some ass.

Speaker 3

About this therapist. That is such a wild yeah recommendation, you know, to get over it if you get under it.

Speaker 2

That's exactly what she said.

Speaker 3

I don't know if your therapy.

Speaker 1

I'm in the process and I was going through Hinge and I haven't been on these apps in five years, so a lot has changed. What I didn't know is that on Hinge there is an option to upload photos. Is there usually is a bio, your job description, my star sign, all the usual dating bits.

Speaker 3

Do you give all of the truth? Are you like I am Mitch Chury from the pickup?

Speaker 4

Like?

Speaker 3

Do you give all the parts of your persona so people can easily figure out who you are? Surely that's your flex No, no, no, no, it.

Speaker 2

Says Mitch Chury radio present presenter. That's all it says.

Speaker 3

Stop it.

Speaker 2

What's the truth?

Speaker 3

True?

Speaker 2

I've been doing it for almost ten years.

Speaker 4

And then is every photo have you just picked out every famous person you've got like you with reader or.

Speaker 2

From the first photo is you and the three of us are the logis that's my first.

Speaker 3

Oh mit, that's very cute.

Speaker 2

Here's the thing.

Speaker 1

The reason I asked I need you is because they now offer audio messages to be played on your profile, so when someone clicks on you, they match with you, they will potentially match with you. It comes up with the option to listen to a voice message and they give you prompts, prompts to answer questions with your own voice, so it can be a boundary of mine, is a daily essential, my favorite color? And I can go through an answer with my voice.

Speaker 3

Okay.

Speaker 1

However, one of the options is a friends honest review of me, and you give your phone to a friend and then they review you, so when people are looking at dating you, they can hear what your friends think of you.

Speaker 3

Oh, Britt, I feel like we could give Mitch the most honest of reviews.

Speaker 4

What's funny because usually if you're going to if you're going to put a friend's review on your page, obviously you know it's going to be good, right, Otherwise you're not going to put it on.

Speaker 3

Yeah, It's like when you get a reference from a job application to get a good one, you know.

Speaker 1

But the thing is, I also want people to love. I like to take the mickey out of myself. So I don't mind if you take the mickey out of myself, because then I'll match with someone that actually is capable of doing that to me.

Speaker 3

You, Mitch, want Laura and I to leave your review? Yeah, a glowing reference.

Speaker 1

I have an honest, real raw review from two of my closest friends and co workers.

Speaker 3

Well, I don't think we overthink it. Let's just go. Let's just let the wait wait, pressa press re card.

Speaker 2

Okay, so nice, be nice?

Speaker 3

Okay.

Speaker 2

So the prompt is geed my net worth? Do you want to put that in there?

Speaker 3

Yeah? Sure? What is it? Just that we know it's about twenty five six?

Speaker 2

Okay, go for it makes you say who you are because you guys are very famous.

Speaker 3

Okay, all right, Hello and welcome to Mitch's dating profile.

Speaker 4

This is Laura and I'm Brittany, and we are Mitch's closest friends from the pick Up National Radio show, here to give you a review. First up, Mitch has an absolutely great sense of humor, but often lasting himself too much, which I think takes away from the joke.

Speaker 3

He has a fantastic jaw line, but you better be into walking because this man does love a hot girl walk and he pretty much walks all the time, every day without stopping, even when he's sleeping.

Speaker 4

Mitch has a lot of potential, which I'm sure we will fully see once he actually.

Speaker 3

Moves out of home. But the fact that he does live at home means he's the perfect person to take home to meet your parents because he's very good with them since he spends so much time with his own.

Speaker 4

Mitch is a chameleon. He can either have a soft, cute baby face or grow some sexy stubble.

Speaker 3

The choice is yours. Oh and I also want to say Mitch is aging backwards. He has the jaw line of a god. If I was a man, I would date Mitch. If I was a man, I would probably date Mitch, but I mostly might date my husband once he moves out home.

Speaker 2

Okay, it's about me.

Speaker 3

Sorry, now, he's very good. Give him a go, love bruttin Laura.

Speaker 2

Okay, let me go. I don't know how is that it didn't get me going, but I hope someone out there.

Speaker 4

I reckon you upload that voice message, go away for a few weeks, do some dating and report back and let us know how.

Speaker 3

Okay, I can do that, and if it's not going well, I recommend to leading the voicemail message, keep it on.

Speaker 2

There's a baby face that was off.

Speaker 3

Chameleon. You can be baby, you couldn't be baby, or you can be sexy.

Speaker 2

St double.

Speaker 3

Shows baby face. No when he shaves his stumble look at that, though, I would now give us now give us sexy double sexy.

Speaker 2

S double far.

Speaker 1

Okay, I'll report back. I'll let you know how my my dating goes. Guys, thanks to you, hopefully all right back after this on the pick up. It is the pick up with Britt, Laura and Mitch here thanks to chemist Warehouse rush in for half priced vitamins and cosmetics to teas and sea supply.

Speaker 2

Chemist Warehouse great savings every day.

Speaker 3

Now this is especially for you because the other week we spoke about how you are so offended by the natural bodily function of farting.

Speaker 4

Oh god, no, I'm adverse to people farting on me or in my presence.

Speaker 3

Yes, yes, so you will not let your boyfriend Ben fight on me, no far, sorry.

Speaker 4

On you as you asking, because remember Laura I was talking about her husband Matty Jay sometimes fights on her for fun, and I was like, he better come.

Speaker 3

No, no, no, yeah, I know. Look, I mean matt is very handsome. I can fight anywhere near me. I don't mind. No he We are just a couple who don't mind if somebody needs to do a fart in the house. They can fart in the house. They can fart in the same room. We don't do it on purpose. It's not something that we get off on. We just aren't opposed to it. Yeah, we just have a giggle.

Speaker 4

You know.

Speaker 3

The kids all think it's funny too. Britt you have you are very much of the opinion that if you're in a relationship, you shouldn't far in front of your partner. It's something that is sacred. You should do it in a different room, go away, fart on your own.

Speaker 4

Absolutely, it's disgusting, it's disrespectful, and it's a turn off.

Speaker 3

When we turned off by my part right, like a Buddhist monk, I have some in a monastery. I did some medical reasons the backup, why maybe you should be a little bit more live with your farting brit there's nothing you're gonna tell me. There's gonna let someone fart on me. So yeah, I just need to understand is at first, if you don't have the option to go into another room, just say you're locked together, locked in leave, you're in a lift for example, you're oh, you're stuck somewhere.

You're in a cinema, you can't get out. You've been to the toilet already. What if you're fluffing all the time, where are you gonna go? You have to Your only choice is to fart next to them or hold onto it? What do you do?

Speaker 4

It's not this is a ridiculous game. There is no world unless you have been kidnapped, locked in a basement with someone and fed curry for dinner, that.

Speaker 3

This would ever happen.

Speaker 2

Where are you going with this, Laura?

Speaker 3

I just need an answer. Would you hold onto it or would you let it out? Not hold onto it? Okay? Well, look doctor Karen Raj who is a TikTok doctor. But you know what he knows what he's talking about. He's a doctor on TikTok. He has some feelings about why we should not hold onto farts and how it is terrible for your health. He has this to say.

Speaker 5

People fourteen times a day. The more the merry. If someone tells you they don't fight, they're lying and you should discern them immediately, or they've got a bowel obstruction, which is a mental emergency. If you hold in a fight too long, it can be reabsorbed into your blood circulation and breed that when you exhale.

Speaker 3

If you hold on to a fight for too long and then the urge goes away, it's because it has been reabsorbed into your bloodstream and out your mouth.

Speaker 4

Rreckton, doctor Curran from TikTok got his thing out of any machine hold on.

Speaker 1

So he's telling us that we need to disown you. Can you stand up and breathe into Laura's mouth because he says it's can you stand up breath?

Speaker 5

No?

Speaker 3

Thank you? No thank you.

Speaker 4

But guys like, I'm not saying I don't far and I'm not saying no, everyone farts. You don't fight on someone for fun, for jokes and ships and giggles, and you leave.

Speaker 3

The room and show a little bit of respect. That's what I'm saying. There's no time you can ever not leave a room to drop one off. Can I tell you this though, the average person farts enough every day that it would fill half a balloon. Isn't that so interesting? Imagine walking around with a whole birthday party full of balloons and five.

Speaker 4

Laura, it'd be really great if you tested that out for content things, and I'll bring it in and then you guys.

Speaker 3

Can pop it.

Speaker 1

Anyone got a twenty first coming up, We'll get two of those silver two one balloons and we'll see if Laura and I between the tours can fill them to the breath.

Speaker 3

You're all disgusting, Britt.

Speaker 2

We're gonna get your blood test and see if you've got fart in your blood. But I don't.

Speaker 3

I don't ever let Fluffy off the chain ever. Ever, Well, apparently only one percent, only one percent of the farts that you do in a day actually smell.

Speaker 2

Oh, so there you go, there you go. I don't know about you, Britt.

Speaker 3

Your's probably worse than that. I'm a unicorn.

Speaker 1

All right, that's us done, and you can podcast the show on iHeart. Just search the pick up pretty self explanatory, and you'll get all of us and you can catch up and well, what are you standing by Die tomorrow, Babbee

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