Laura, come on, hello everyone though, Hello, everybody here we go.
Hi, guys.
Do you know why I am so excited today?
Because she just saw us obviously, Laura, Hey, you guys always make me happy.
No kids are here, No, no.
No, I love my children. That's a horrible thing to say. Miss them every day. No, it's because you know on Stan, have you guys seen a series Doctor Death?
Oh yeah, brilliant, phenomenal.
Okay, so they're bringing out season two of Doctor Death and I am so obsessed, Like, I am so invested in this series. Like, if you haven't seen the first series of Doctor Death, you've got to go and watch it. It's based on a true story. It's actually based on a podcast which came out first, and it's around this doctor who he's a surgeon and it was based between twenty eleven and twenty thirteen and he operated on over forty patients and maimed or killed every single patient that
he operated on. It is wild and he's now serving his life in prison for it. But it follows that story. So I'm so invested in season two.
Many more in it two. And she's such a brilliant actress.
Oh yeah, I know, you're obsessed with her.
I love her, I can't fold. I think she's actually a better actress and a singer.
Controversial, I agree with you.
Well that's December twenty two on Stand season two, Doctor Death.
I am so about this.
I wonder if we can get the doctor on the show.
Do you reckon he ad, call in from prison?
I wonder of death or call death to call the show?
All right, stick stick around?
Well after that, no, guys, but.
Do stick around please because we do have a really incredible ask on cart. We've had someone call up with a bit of a conundrum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, next.
Also a thousand bucks cash up for grams on the show before four o'clock.
Let's go. Let's do this right.
Now, ask mcata.
Okay, So, asking cut is something that we do on the show every Thursday. It's where you call in with your deepest, your darkest, your most problematic problems and we do our best to answer them.
We have a caller today. Her name is Sally, and Sally's little bit.
Hi, Sally, A little bit concerned about an engagement or hit us?
Sal?
Yeah, what happened?
So?
I have been with my partner for eight years now, right, and of course, I've been hinting at wanting to get engaged. I want to progress our relationship. He has, he's recently proposed. Now upon proposing, he's actually kind of thrown worlds at me, like, okay, you've got what you want now, I hope you're happy. Now I'm really starting to question whether or not I should be with him or stay with him.
Now.
I guess it just I just don't know.
Okay, when he proposed, prior to that, had there been lots of conversations of you, like pressuring him into it, or like did he want to do it?
He sounds like you'd be honest, You're right, You're right. The conversations led by me. I'm the one who's morning to you know, it's been eight years. I think after three or four years, I was really looking to get engaged. And I think by eight years I might have mentioned it one too many times, but that still didn't make me question our relationship.
And now I have, Well, Sally.
I was going to be like man's perspective, but that's not really a thing. I just think, and I'm fairly a man, so I wouldn't.
Be a real perspective.
I think that comes from a place of truth from him, like he must be having real feelings.
There must resentment. No, I feel like there's resentments.
Yeah, that sounds like resentment, doesn't it. But I mean, what do you do now? So you've got the rings?
You know you are engaged.
For Sally, that's the real problem.
Sell, he talks to you a radio SHOWT stop Sally.
What I mean is what do you do now in terms of if you are oh, guys, someone take it seriously.
Sally needs help, but we're just laughing. Sorry.
What I mean is is can you, like, are you at a point where you feel like you could give him an ultimatum in terms of like, well, I don't want to marry you if it's not something that you want, and if you are going to ask me, it needs to be in a way that makes me feel like it's actually something you want, not that I've forced you into it. And see what he has to say about it, because he might turn around and say, well, you did force me into it.
And that'll be your answer.
If somebody proposed to me and said here's the ring on the knee, I hope you're happy, I would.
Say I'm not, buddy, I most certainly I'm not.
We're going to rewind that, pretend that didn't happen, and we're going to take the ring.
Can you go take no? Take two?
Do better?
I'd say do better, be better, but.
Then that would always sit with me, Sally, like you're you're thinking, now I'm going to I'm going to get married, and now I know that this is how he thinks about it, does it kind of give you the.
Each so true? So for me right now, it's made me not even want to question the actual marriage part and just try to be content with the proposal because it feels as though I don't even want to go to that level of conversation with him.
You have to know, you have to because the thing is is I mean, I know there's part of you that's like probably grateful that you're finally engaged the thing that you wanted. But if he's doing it and a being pressured, or he's doing it because and he feels resentful for it, like, what's that foundation for a marriage anyway?
That's true?
True, Sally, Do you feel deep down answer this honestly that he's the one for you?
I think I did, And I just feel like now I'm questioning it now it's making me rethink that. I mean, I truly believe I did, but now I'm just I don't know where I think.
I Okay, this is my advice.
I think you have to sit down and have a conversation with him about it and say, you know, obviously, as you know, I've made it no secret, I want to marry you, but I don't want it to be because you think that it's the only reason I'm going to stay in the relationship because you think it's the only thing I want. And if you are going to propose, I want it to feel like it's something that you
want as well. And I think you have to kind of put that ball back in his court a little bit to make that next step and to show you that you are valued and loved and all of those things that reassurance that you crave when people are wanting to get engaged. It's not just always about the ring or about the wedding. It's about the relationship reassurance. So it's about the commitment knowing that they are meeting you where you need to be met in that relationship.
Absolutely, Yeah, you're so right, and I think I need to go away and do that.
Yeah, Charly keep the ring either way, good luck, but also please let us know how this all turns out for you as well.
I will thanks, Thanks, Sally, No worries.
If you want to get on for an ask gun cut the pickup, dot com dot A DMS.
There yeah, I'll rain these two in.
Hey.
Next up we have a superstar supermodel, Australian Ellie Gonzalvez and the one hundred and seventeen reasons why you shouldn't have kids?
Wow, yeah, no polarizing, yeah big, that's next. Ellie joins us on the pickup after this.
I don't know if you guys have seen this.
There's a list going viral at the moment, and an Australian woman going viral at the moment. Fourth said list. Now, her name is Ellie Gonzalvez, and she has decided to very kindly put a list together of all the reasons she does not want to have children.
She shared this list.
Now there is one hundred and seventeen hundred and eighteen reasons, some of very serious I shouldn't laugh, and some are very funny. But it's gone viral because some of them are like the baby could pooh inside you like, this is some of the reasons that, to.
Be fair, the baby could pooh inside and that is a valid reason.
Number thirty six children are noisy, Like, there's a lot going on in this in this list, So we've got her to join us on the show.
Yeah, I wanted to ask you some questions, Ellie.
Welcome to the picure.
Ellie.
Hey, guys, thanks for having me.
Ellie.
How did you get around to actually putting this list together? And why did you release it? Because I understand you know, I've always been on the cusp of do I don't I want kids? But I've never thought I'm going to write every single reason down and release it to the public.
Well, I mean for years people asked me, They're like, you know, do you want kids? When are you having kids?
Like literally since I was ten years old. So I just ended up writing a full list of all the stupid, ridiculous and also serious things down to just hand to people now to be like, this is why I'm not having kids, and it just seems to go over people's heads, and I'm just like, I'm so sick of the question, and I think there's such a double standard in terms of the response that I get back from people saying that I don't want kids instead of saying I do
want kids, people who are very agreeable, but you know when I say that I don't want them, people are just like they're like the homophobic parents that the gay person comes out to that try to change you, like totally, it's very real. They try and convert you. And I have no interest in sitting at a barbecue for four hours talking to someone about having children.
It's really funny because no one would ever say to someone who says they want kids, well you probably shouldn't.
You probably should think.
About that, and not having that, no one ever gets the criticism the opposite way. How has the response been to this list? I mean, you went very public with it. It's obviously gone viral. How like, what has been the feedback?
Well, I mean like it was never intended to be posted. That's what I've said previously. Like a friend of mine took my list because he loves it and he doesn't want children, and he's like, oh, I got really clucky, reverted to the list, and now I don't want kids again. I not posting that on my stories like that screenshot, and he thought it was hilarious, and then everyone's like, can you send us, like we want to see the list.
So I was like, Okay, well, like let's post it.
It's real.
It's like that's why there's just so many things in there that's wild. But I just wanted to be completely honest and transparent about like all of these actual facts. Some people say they're not facts, they're actual facts.
Google them, look them up.
But is you'll never have funny again for the rest of your existence. I don't know if that's the fact.
Do you know what's subjective? That one's subjective?
Right?
Why Laura, can you connect to any of these? Because you're a mum, You've had two kids? I mean like, can you relate to any of money? Yeah?
I read through the list and I was like, pretty much ninety nine percent of these I relate to. Still happy, I have my kids, love my kids to like so much, and I feel like you always have to kind of have that caveat, but I'm like, you have to hell, yeah, myself in front of people lost on my hair.
Kids can be rude. I make food and they never eat it.
I was like, I actually really relate face swell and body swelling. I was like cloged milk ducks, literally everything that's on this list.
I'm like, I've lift this. How am I still here?
Ellie, I'm not gonna lie.
I just froze my eggs.
And I saw this list and I was like, oh, maybe I should be defrustenosed, but check them in the bin.
Yeah, maybe, Well, look at least at least you're well informed.
But I mean, the response to.
Everything was actually really wild. I was never expecting it to go as internationally viral as what it did. I thought, you know, a couple of hundred comments on my Instagram won't get picked up, but like literally went everywhere. I think the reason why people are so upset is because it's just so honest and real, and nobody is used to hearing real honesty these days, unfortunately, because everyone is
so afraid of being canceled. And I think when it comes to this, like having a voice and being as confident about what I say and how it all comes across, because it's my like, my reason. It's not reasons to not have kids for other people. It's just generally my reason.
Do you know what, You've got one point two million followers and so this obviously spreads so wildly because you have that engagement. But I also think, and I say this as a mum who's someone who I love being a mom. It was never something that I thought I wanted for myself, but now that I am a mum, I'm like, this is incredible.
But I think that it makes a lot.
Of people feel maybe a bit insecure about their choices. It makes people go like like, oh, well, you're saying my life is crap. You know, you're saying my life is not is not fun, or that I, you know, haven't made the right choices because you wouldn't. And it's like, we just need to stop taking things so personally, if you don't want to have kids, it doesn't in any way affect the fact that I've had them and I love it. Like we can all live very different lives
and be respectful of each other. For me, being a mum's the best thing ever. But there's no part of me that wants me to go, you're making the bad decision. You're not making the right one for you because everyone's lives are different.
Yeah, exactly.
And I think people also forget it's always the people who have kids that say not to have kids.
So true, honest with you.
We love it all right, Ellie.
Great to have you on and keep adding to that list. Post in another year and you've got another hundred points on it.
Oh mate, it's already doubled.
Yeah, imagine all right, I'm the pick up back after this. You guys know Britain, Laura, I live with my parents. Oh we know, balls full laughter.
I'm twenty eight, I'm gorgeous.
I'm six foot three and it's a travesy that I've got a full head of hair and I live with my p You know.
What, You're saving a lot of money.
I know why you did it because what is it Coz he live, he lives cos he lives are high.
That means cost of living.
Cost of living got me down. I went for a breakup. I thought I'm going to go back home. I've been home for four months.
You were supposed to go home just for like a little snippet.
Yeah, yeah, you did say, Mitch that you're going to go home until you started to feel mentally well enough. And to be fair, I think you'd be mentally well for a long time and you probably could move out, but you don't want to.
Yeah.
About three days in. I'm like, I'm pretty good. Yeah, but I've already unpacked my shoes, so I've stayed for four months. I'm really comfortable. I reckon I've got another two three months in me there. But Mum and Dad have started dropping like they think they're subtle, but they're not so subtle, hints that they want me out, Like you know how mums. Yeah, mums ask around Christmas, like to compile a Christmas list?
Right, what do you want for Christmas? Yeah, Mum goes, what do you want for Christmas? Mitch?
You know, I'm going to get one of those Therma mixes. You'd love it, one of those therm mix for your kitchen bench, for your tabletop. You just don't have to worry about cooking, do you not get you I'll get your Therma mixed.
And you're like, for what tabletop? I'm like, what tabletop? What house? What your kitchen? Because I live at home, Mum.
And you just think you're going to put it in your bedroom. You'll never have to come downstairs.
Maybe she doesn't anyway, then she'll go, I'm going to get you a table runner. I saw a beautiful linen table runner for your dining table. I don't have a.
She's prepping not for Armageddon, but for your big movie.
No, see, I don't think she's trying to get rid of you.
I think that she's just getting you the things like she's doing the thing that mums do. She's getting you ready. She wants you to be prepared for when you move out on your own.
A box.
There's like it's like a box, like a dowry box.
Yeah. Yeah, it's usually full oft.
In and it's usually what you get when you've gotten married.
She's definitely trying to get ready of it.
Well, then my little sister Rachel, who poor thing. I've invaded her space so our bedrooms we share a wall together. So I to be honest with you, but Rachel sends me domain listings. She'll go check out this property on domain. It's property for rent eight hundred per week. She sent me like three in the last week.
Okay, take that back to me. She's definitely trying to get rid of you. Your mum maybe not so much.
Oh what about Dad?
Black Friday deal went to bing Lee, it came home and I'm not joking.
I sent you a photo Britain Laura. Dad bought me a microwave. Everyone else sitting at you a fresh I brought your house worth the furniture. They're on your way, mate, Water.
They've given you the listing, they've given you everything you need for it, and the only thing you won't do is actually go to any.
Like I was on Domestic Blitz and Shelley Kraft was about to turn up and go, here's all your new belongings for your new hand.
No, this is a good tactic.
I feel like if you hold off long enough, Midge, if you just stay, be steadfast day and it has, they're going to buy you an apartment.
Oh my god, it's actually genius. I'm going to get a car in a month.
The longer you stay, the more things you're gonna get. Pull amount on it.
No, I'm taking it all. Put the microwave on gum tree pocket of three hundred and fifty.
You did.
It's an LG. No, I wouldn't. I love my family, but if they're listening, I'm not going anywhere.
When do you think you're going to move out?
They don't want to talk about it. Okay, give us a bit of a it'll be a good solid three four like six months, Max.
Thirty four six years, tive W thirty five give me all right, well you not only you are getting things given you at homage. Coming up after the break here at the pickup, we are going to give one lucky listener one thousand dollars. Yeah, we're going to play What's in your Bag? All thanks to Binge.
That's next on the pickup. We've been cashed up this week.
We've been giving a thousand dollars cash away every single day thanks to Binge because they've got this brand new series.
It's a drama series.
It's called Strife stars Asher Ketdy in it, which is a very loved Australian actress and it's about MoMA.
Me is Mere Friedman.
Okay, so Mia Freeman if you don't know who she is. She started the first women's website within Australia and then she started Mom and Mia off the back of that and it's just all around her like absolute crazy rise to fame in that industry.
So to celebrate busy women, we have been getting someone on every day to go through their bag to win one thousand dollars And today we have Natasha Hei.
Natasha Welcome, Hello, Hello, Open up that bag and what's inside?
Tell us, Oh, well, I've got at the moment, I've got like every match box car known to man in there.
How old is your little boy?
Then?
Not her husband's two and a half, it's my husband. It's my two and a half year old boy.
What else you got in there, Tash?
We've got some strawberries in here that are left over from lunch that I've currently been put in my bag. I've got missing keys, I've got Koopie Mayo.
How do you, with your busy lives get like when you're at the check out? How do you find what you need to find?
Oh, you don't have everything on your phae and you just you pay past everything, and then more things just go into your bag and then once every six months you open it and you go, God, really clean that out and out comes like four hundred pens, a calculator, some crumbs.
A child, your third chilge, You forgot about some mondays. There's everything in there?
Wow, yeah, exactly how it is.
How does a thousand dollars sound?
Oh that would be amazingly amazing this time of Christmas?
Oh yours?
What will you get? So so funny?
Oh?
My god, that's amazing.
What will you stend it on?
Probably spend it on on the family. I'm going away for a trip.
All right, we're going to go. If you' misstanding the show, you can podcast it. We were talking to Ellie Gonzalvez earlier on Yeah.
She is the model that put a list of one hundred and seventeen reasons why she doesn't want kids.
Do you know, as the mum here, I do relate to something them. Oh god, I mean love my kids. But yeah, look you can go and listen to all of that. Want to catch up on the podcast.
Yep, And we will see you tomorrow to end the week. We'll see tomorrow every week again.
Shout out