FULLSHOW! Once a cheater always a cheater? 💔

Come on Thursday, everyone.

Do you know what this is going to sound? So woo woo. It's probably the most woo woo.

Thing I'm ever going to say. I can't wait to hear this.

I put my crystals out last night. No, I'm not okay. I'm not someone who's very spiritual.

You know.

I don't really believe in meditation and ghosts and signs.

You know what.

I believe in breathwork and breathing.

I do not believe in doctors and I sparks and all that.

I just I just not okay.

Talking about this is going to sound super crazy now that we've established that I don't believe in things that are actually real.

Watch hours, all right?

Does anyone else ever see reappearing numbers?

Like repelling numbers over and over right? Every day?

And I'm talking like ten twenty times a day. I'm seeing the numbers one one one or like one zero one one.

Have you your heads?

You know, I don't believe in nice spars and shit, but numbers that reappear, that's fact.

That is crazy. Guys.

Apparently they called angel numbers, and apparently it means that something big is going to happen in your life.

The last time I saw them was just before I met my husband.

Where have you seen the numbers everywhere?

I'm talking, like on the on screens, on number plates. I look at the clock and it's one one one, Like places.

Where numbers are clocks, number plates, just calculators everywhere.

Okay, when I type one one one one into the calculator, it appears, guys, you're not taking me seriously.

You're not well.

I think some big change is coming. When I type in MAT's phone number to do you know what?

At least Tony our produce, is taking me seriously. You guys can all get terrified.

No, Angel, Okay, we just thought the start was funny.

We rolled with it.

Angel, numbers are a thing, are they?

Thanks for bringing I just trying to support you. Next on the show. This is still a start, guys, ask guncut is next. Imagine if you go through a shocking breakup and your partner goes, I want to come and see the dog, our shared dog dog gets in the middle of the breakup. That's something that's actually happened.

Get a new dog. You can't get a new child.

The dogs. We've got to listener to give some help to and advice. You're on the pickup. Welcome back Thursday afternoon with Britt, Laura and Mitch. Thanks for being here. Right now rushing to Chemists Warehouse to get half price off the so Novas vitamin range. It excludes bulk sizes Chemists Warehouse, great savings. Every day now it is Thursday. You know what we do on Thursday's gals or my favorite?

Oh yeah?

So ask gun Cut is something that we do on our podcast Life on Cut, and that is where you call in and you give us your problems, your dilemmas, your deepest, darkest issues, and we do our best to answer them.

We really do try, don't. We got to Oscar to do best. I have a punt, Oscar. Are you on with this?

Hi?

What's your question? What do you need help with?

Hi?

Guys? I just have a question. So I was together with my man for like five years and like we've recently just broken up. And the whole issue is we got a dog together. He did pay for the dog at the time, but in that space we were together, I was the one walking it. I was the one feeding it. I would I mean I body chained him like I would say something, the one taking care of the dog. So in the breakup, I took the dog

Wait, how does he get into your house? How does he just pick the dog up?

My housemate knows two he is and goes, oh, yeah, cool the dogs about that?

Listen, I've got an interesting take on this. I think it's okay if you're okay with it, Oscar, Like if you two were at a point where you think you've healed, you've gotten over each other, then if it's essentially co parenting. But do you feel your on your healing journey? Are you over him? Are you still wanting to see him that much?

I mean not particularly, it's still quite fresh. It's been like, well, it's been like three or four months since we've broken up, and you know, I'm more than happy for him to call me and go, hey, I want to see I want to see Coco? Can can? Like? Can you drop in here?

Like?

I'm more than happy for that a bit of communication. But do I really need to be okay with him turning up to my house and staying hi to my housemates and saying, hey, can I can I take Coco for a walk? Or can I take him to my place? I think without me being there?

No, you actually you don't have to be especially like if you think how long a dog lives for right, it could live up for fifteen years.

It's a kid.

It's a long time for you to have this shared communication and shared custod.

If you can co parent comfortably and it's not causing anyone anguish, then go for it. But co parenting a dog just sounds way too hard. The only thing I question is if he's only coming when you're not home. So, for example, if he's like texting a housemate, if he picks a dog up, drops the dog back before you get home and you're none the wiser to it, are you okay with that level of contact or is it more so when he has to message you and then it upsets your day.

Yeah, I'd be getting the free dog walker if you can.

Yeah, well that's what I thought. But a couple of my friends were telling me that it shouldn't be like, it shouldn't be an issue. He should be free to come and get his dog. But I just don't know. I think it's okay, Like I really think, you know, and it's got nothing to do with payment, like I mean, I it's the thing, like I'm the one that taught it how to do a good old fashioned toilet troops. Like, I just feel like that there needs to be some kind of communication. He's just not listening to me.

You should just train it to like shit on his leather goods, you know, just like train it to be a really spiteful dog. I don't know what's happened to Coco's habits, but he's gotten really bad recently.

He's really acting out in the divorce and in the breakup. Keep doing that.

I hope we can hope you can. We can help you there, and co Coke can sleep.

I couldn't think of anything worse than co parenting a dog. Parenting kids is so hard for some people.

Co Parenting a dog no just get a.

New dog, parented dogs and I had to give it up.

Really yeah, you can't do it.

You cannot do it.

Only for a period of time. There's always someone still hanging on because of the pet.

Also, it's more than pets. Breakups are heard. I'm still fighting over a Smeg blender with my ex.

Let him have the blender?

Which wants to blender?

Are you co parenting the blender?

Now?

We're sure? One week gets a Compulse. I get it for smoothie mode. Oh, if you want to get in touch and if you've got an ask gun kind of your own dms at the pick up on Instagram and we'll get you on It is the pickup around the country. Brit Laura and Mitchell thanks to Chemist Warehouse heading today great savings every day. Guys. The time has come. It is officially ten years since I graduated at high school.

Oh you are such a baby. That makes me feel like you what makes me feel old?

You know?

I received a text message recently twenty year school reunion this year.

Oh my god, see that's exactly what I'm in the middle of. I because I was school captain in primary school and high school. Thank you. It was a world record, and I'm organized somehow, somehow, I've been roped into organizing my ten year high school reunion.

Oh what are you gonna do? Because like, you've got to make it good, You've got to impress that. It's my worst nightmare.

I'm so stressed out. Also at the moment, I'm trying to wrangle everyone. So we have a Facebook group from when we were in school, but I'm trying to wrangle people. And then I've even like brought in a lackey like the girl that I was friends with in high school, Kristin Arthur. I said, Kristen, you're gonna help me organize this thing.

Oh you've you've got a PA for the ten year reunion.

I've booked myself a PA, and she was willing to oblige.

Do you think they've only asked you mech seriously, not just because you were a captain, but because of your connections?

Do you reckon? They think it is going to come through the good?

Do throw a wild event?

Maybe better than a party just at the RSL club?

Oh yeah, I'll just call guy sebastiity a couple. Anyway, Kristen calls me this week and she goes, hey, Mitch, where do we stand on inviting people that left school early? And I go, that's all right, And she goes, what about people that have served time? And I go, people that serve time, who've served time, and I won't name them.

When you have people from your year who ended up in prison, they just got released, you have I mean, they can still come to the party.

Stephanie, she went Ken Stephanie smith Cup, I said, she's out still, It's exactly right. I want to see where she's at the inside and how was prison exactly Although you know.

When you go to like a reunion, the whole point of it is kind of you catch up with everyone, but you also level up a bit. You're like, what are you doing with yourself? And you can't kind to figure out where people are ten years on. This poor person's like, well, I've been in prison. At least you know you're not doing the worst.

Well, it's also intense that I have to front the cost of the deposit because I'm obviously booking the venue and it's five and a half grand deposit that I'm going to have to pay.

It's better to have it at the RSEL Club.

Well, is it irsel are charging that money?

Nah, I'd have it down at local park, hang some balloons, no deposit, like a three year old birthday part. You know.

I went to my ten year reunion and I really love like I love school. I had a great group of girlfriends and I wasn't in contact with a lot of people, but I still had my close little knitter friends.

So we went to this reunion and there was a.

Girl there who had bullied me so bad in school, like so bad, except after we finished school, I hooked up with her brother. And now I know that she didn't know about this and it would have absolutely killed her. So I played the long game. Guys, ten years after finishing school, I told her, so good to see you. Guess what happened after school? I hooked up with your brother and I could see the rage in her and

People just don't move on, do theyllys? You know what?

Her brother was pretty hot, though, to be fair, I should hope. So anyway, I didn't just do it to get back it up.

I did also because I fancy, So can we confirm your tip for me to organize my tenue reunions to sleep with one of my classmates, but.

To sleep with someone down a bone your bullies brother. It literally would work in the same way does bone your bullies brother? Go in and then tell them and then.

See them squirm? All right, can't give them details as well?

Happy ten years.

I mean I feel sorry for you.

I would never want to organize this. I don't think it's cool that you have to put the deposit on, because then what happens you put your five grand down?

Everyone's going to pull out.

I promise you. People are not going to turn up and you're going to be fronted with a cost. Yeah you will, but you did bone your bullies.

Brothers one in the end. All right, back after this on the pick up. It is the pickup with Britt, Laura and Mitch now rushing to Chemist swear House right now. When I say it, you have to do it because there's half price off the so Nervous Vitamin range, excludes bulk sizes, chemistware House great savings every day.

Now we're going to be talking about dirty dogs, dirty cheating dogs, you know, the whole saying like once a cheater always a cheater. Well, okay, there's been a bit of research to figure out whether there's any validity in that whatsoever.

Which essentially just means if someone cheats on you once that you can't trust them ever again, to not do it.

Do research in everything these days, don't they like you're a studying on everything.

I understand why there's been researched on this, and that's because I think most people have experienced. If you've been in the dating game for any period of time, you've probably been cheated on. And if you haven't been cheated on, you've been the cheater. The reason why I say this is because of four hundred and eighty four couples who were in this study, forty four percent of them had participated in reports engaging in infidelity. Basically, that's a very

That's a massive sample size too.

It doesn't surprise me at all. That's that's, you know, just under fifty percent people are cheating, And that doesn't shock me.

Yes, But when you think about that, just under fifty percent of people are cheating, that means that in a lot of relationships, more than half somebody in that relationship has cheated.

Yeah, I mean, I just feel like everyone.

I know has cheated on someone or been cheated on, including like I've been cheated on that many times.

I'm not shook by that stat Yeah, are you mean?

I think I'm just such a Disney boy. Look, I'm such a romantic like that always. I mean, I've been cheated on, but it still shocks me, Like it still is so shocking to me that in my head and growing up, I'm like, cheating is something that it's the big sin. I think we're also taught that to think that cheating is like the ultimal ultimate cardinal sin that anyone can do in a relationship. But my stance on it is it actually isn't that black and white. I think it's really nuanced.

I agree with you. I don't think it's black and white at all.

And I say this because I know in my early twenties, like when I was much younger in my relationships, I cheated in some of my relationships and I was cheated on more.

Also, he did the HC though no I weaponized it.

I got cheated on and so then I cheated on them and it was just an absolute messy, messy affair.

I think at the.

Time I justified it to myself that you know, we'll heed it first, so therefore like he kind of deserved it. It also makes you realize when you get out of that relationship, I never ever ever want to live that again. I never want the anxiety around it. I never want the betrayal. I know how much we hurt each other, and I have learnt so much from that, and it makes me now be a really great partner to Matt because I know I will never ever ever do it to him.

Do you feel any guilt that you did that? Still?

I did at the time. I think you know this is going back.

Hi, everyone, this has gone back a decade, so it was not like a recent thing. But I definitely felt guilty at the time. But like I said, I justified it to myself that because he did it to me first, he deserved it, which is so unhealthy and toxic for so many reasons. Already, I just know that you can never be in a relationship like that because you really

Ever, Oh that makes sense to me.

Yeah, but I think, I mean, there is truth to the saying. Then once a cheater, always a cheater.

But do you think, like to switch animals, a leopard can change a spot.

Yeah, I do.

And the reason why I say that, I think that is because I think it's, as you said, Mitch, it's a gray area. It's situational. You might cheat in one relationship and then you know, do the self work, be a better person, and then move into a relationship where you're getting all the things that you.

Need and want.

But I don't think if nothing has changed and you've already cheated once or twice in a relationship and then you haven't gone to therapy or you haven't changed anything about your life, I think it's a pretty hard thing to turn around and be like, yeah, I'm never gonna do it again.

This time will be different. I think people can change.

It's also so subjective what cheating is to someone emotional cheating, physical cheating, this is.

True one of affairs. But I think that people can change. I really do believe that, But it's how many.

Chances you give them when you move on, Like if I think of the second time, if you like, if someone's like, you know, I've changed, I did this in the past, I've changed. And then if they do it once, yeah, like you don't let them pull the wool over your eyes multi times.

I agree. I also just think it's such an emotionally charged arena because all we're talking about now is the cheater. But we're not talking about the person that was cheated on, which can cause a lot, like a lifetime of trauma for a person, right, but the actual cheat. Oh, Like, there is so much that goes into the decision to cheat, you know, age the relationship trauma of their own Like it's it's hard.

Yeah.

And I think as well though, we do like to demonize people who who do cheat in relationships. We instantly demonize them as though they're bad people or it's black and white whel away, like, well, if they've cheated, then there.

Was absolutely no love at all.

The reason why I thought this study was really interesting, though, is because it did talk about a different or a specific personality type, like if you're dating someone who has narcissistic personality traits, they are the people who are way more inclined to continually and habitually cheat and you can't change that behavior in them.

It's because they constantly want validation, they want love, they want people to want them, and they want to feel that. When you're in a relationship long term, we all know that that sort of dies down, so they go and look for the next bex thing to give them that superficial.

Want and need. Yeah crazy all right back after this on the pickup