FULLSHOW! Did she make the right call with her disabled husband? - podcast episode cover

FULLSHOW! Did she make the right call with her disabled husband?

Sep 26, 202319 min
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Transcript

Speaker 1

Laura, come on, Oh, we're on We're here. Hello, Hello, Hello, loall Hello, don't we have some news for you all?

Speaker 2

What do you got there? Britt?

Speaker 1

It's not me, but it's us. Life on Card podcast, the podcast that Laura and I host, which is.

Speaker 2

Separate to the radio show in case you've been curious.

Speaker 1

Is going on a national Australian tour with seven locations and we're kicking off ten days.

Speaker 3

Is it?

Speaker 2

Oh my god, it's too close.

Speaker 1

It's the month of October. It is.

Speaker 4

But also I mean, we love our little trio here at the pickup, so we're taking.

Speaker 2

Mitch Jury with us. We're going all across the country.

Speaker 4

If you've ever thought when you've been listening to this show, god, I really would love to see them live up on stage doing what they do in front of everyone. That's what we're going to be doing. And it starts on Sunday, the eighth of October. Our very first show is in Adelaide, So if you're an Adelaide listening, go get your tickets. Laugh uncutpodcast dot com dot au. And then we're heading everywhere.

Speaker 1

Yeah, and every city has different guests, so we're going to be all having some banter ourselves. But then we've got different guests. We've got Rebel Wilson coming as a very special guest to the Sydney Show. So if you've ever wanted to sit down with Rebel and have an in person, intimate conversation, this is it, because Rebel doesn't do these chats like this is a very rare event. But then we've got so many other people all around the country. We've got Home and Away actress Emily Weir coming.

Speaker 4

Her story is so interesting actually, it's so much like people don't know this about her, but Emily is completely sober. She stopped drinking when she was in her twenties and she has a really interesting story around why.

Speaker 1

Bunch of other cool people. But we've got Mitch Cherry em scene and opening. We've got Sam Fisher, the amazing performer who's going to be singing and opening every single shows. It's actually going to be wild. I'm excited.

Speaker 3

I think the best part is going to be hearing about it on the pick up every day because we're going to be like in bunks, to be in hotel rooms together. We're going on campus, we are.

Speaker 4

Literally going on on team tour and doing it all across the country. Now that's all coming up. You can get your tickets. I say it again, laugh on upodcast dot com. Today, you, Britt, you have quite an important update for us.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I'm going to be sharing another update on my fertility journey because I did think I had sort of come to a head with it about a month ago. If you're listening, you'll know that I was doing some egg freezing. But I do have another update and it is not over yet.

Speaker 3

All right, we'll get to that next here at the pick up. Welcome to Tuesday Afternoon thanks to chemist Warehouse. Heading today you'll get great savings every day Tuesday on the Pickup with Britt, Laura and Mitch. Or thanks to Chemist Warehouse, they want to give you a free doctor's consult. Download the Instant Consolet app today, save this coupon co write this down c W free to claim your free consult. All right now, Britt, you've got an update for us here on your fertility journey.

Speaker 2

Yeah, I do.

Speaker 1

I froze my eggs for the first time about three years ago, and then I froze them again just about a month or so ago. So now I'm going through that process with my partner Ben, who lives overseas. So I was sort of giving you guys live updates on that as it was happening, because I think it's really important. If you missed my last update, this is it.

Speaker 5

I only got four eggs, which is really low, and then one of those eggs immediately was no good. So I ended up with only three eggs and having had fifteen last time, and knowing that fifteen only makes that one child, three is is very low.

Speaker 1

So I'm talking about egg freezing there if you didn't quite catch that. So this is the second time I had frozen my eggs, so I have like another update on that update. So I thought I was sort of updating you guys as I was going, as the process was happening, and maybe I did that too soon so that I was actually with Mitch at the time. I got a call saying, you know, your three has gone to two. One you know was no good, and so I got upset at that because I thought, wow, like

they're dropping like flies, but two still great. And then I received another call saying there were some complications and they weren't mature enough and there's a whole there's a whole multitude of reasons that eggs and embryos and things like that don't fully develop and form and not viable. My two that I got were not viable, so I ended up with nothing, no eggs. Yeah, which is fine. It is fine because other people go through far more

than that. But yeah, it's definitely disappointing and a bit of a hit to think that you can go through this whole process for weeks of these injections and in your head you're like, well, I have science on my side, like I have everything pushing in the direction to get what I need, and then to come up with nothing. Knowing that I you know, I had all the help I could get and I still didn't get one egg as a woman is like, really, I knew my fertility wasn't great, but I didn't always that bad.

Speaker 4

But do they give you any information as to why, because I know what the very first time you like what you said, this is your second time doing egg freezing. The first time you got fifteen eggs.

Speaker 1

Yes, that was about three years ago. I got fifteen eggs. I am doing it again in November. I'll go the third time. And I've spoken to my fertility doctor and basically, we're just going to pump me so hard full of hormones excessively, which means I'm going to be really, really crook. You could possibly go into what they call hypovarian syndrome, which is very painful, can sometimes be dangerous if they

go too far. But they're going to try and get the balance just right, just maybe topple me over to get as many as I can. So I'm hoping it's not I'm hoping this doesn't mean that there's never ever going to be any I think I say, X round could be different, and I say, like the next harvest, I think the next harvest.

Speaker 2

Is going to be good.

Speaker 1

But I feel like I went to the farmer's market got a dozen eggs, like dropped him on the way home. You know, you.

Speaker 3

Say, like you know, it's not okay, it's not good. It's also all right for it to be a shitty situation.

Speaker 2

Yeah, because it is.

Speaker 3

It's the reality of life. And like you've said, thousands of women go through this every day. I don't know if you can speak to it. I can't. As a man, I kind of fathom the emotions, but you must. You would think I'm a failure this is me. You take it so personally right, you just I mean.

Speaker 1

Yeah, you do for sure. But it's not just me. I feel a let down for my partner Ben. He lives overseas, so he's living in Scotland and it affects him as much as it affects me. You know, he wants kids. I live with the fact that he won't get them. He's so amazing and he's been so supportive.

Speaker 3

How do you react when because you were with him when you found out.

Speaker 1

Yeah, I was beside myself because you automatically think the worst as well, Like I have complete faith now after speaking to my doctor again that we will get some in the next round. But at the time, you know, when you're like I almost fel better by walloween in myself pity. I was like, I'm never gonna be able to do this for you. I'm sorry, Like it's I can't even do it with science, you know, I just got really low. And he's like, this is not this

doesn't matter. He's like it doesn't change anything, and next time is going to be better and we're going to do this together. And he's he was really really great and he's really big on positivity. He's like, don't let the eggs in there. Hear what you're saying.

Speaker 2

And I was like, there's none in there.

Speaker 1

They can't hear me. That's my update. I guess it's like one thing I do want to say to any women out there, I really would recommend going to get a fertility test, just even your blood test, because since I've been speaking about this, so many women have message saying I wish I got mine checked earlier because I went to get a checked and it's too late. I'm

going to early menopause, my fatility is bad. I've got into introces, so many things, and it's so easy to go and get that initial blood test just to start the process.

Speaker 2

We got yet we got ye little eggies.

Speaker 1

No scrambled eggs for Bricky.

Speaker 3

Okay, well now you can make absolutely no.

Speaker 1

And I'm too awkward being serious.

Speaker 2

I always have to throw it in thet.

Speaker 1

Tuesday.

Speaker 3

Here on the pickup, Britt, Laura and Mitch.

Speaker 1

Hello, heading to the chemist ware house today.

Speaker 3

You'll get great savings every day. Now you've heard of snakes on a plane, but get ready for arguably far scarier Laura Burham on a plane.

Speaker 1

It's way worse.

Speaker 4

No, it is not worse than a snake. I think I'd take a snake. But look, I went on a holiday without my kids recently. I went away for seven days on a child free trip. She came back, Laura, I know, no, I missed my kids so much, but this was big for me. I've never been on an international trip without my children. I've never been away from

my children for that long. It was my first time getting on an international flight without my kids, and it made me realize how much I don't like other people's kids.

Speaker 3

Oh, and you're the first person on this show to rab it on about how your kids get scolded on planes and how it's not nice.

Speaker 1

With your kids.

Speaker 4

No, no, no, no, no. I have never said that my kids get scolded on planes. My kids behave because do you know why it's so hard to parent your children on a plane, because you have to try and control them, And that's what didn't happen in this situation.

Speaker 2

So he me out. I'm sitting there with my sister.

Speaker 4

It's also she's also got two kids the same age as mine, so it's a big deal for us. We're on this little trip together and sitting directly behind me is a five I'd say he was about five five year old kid. I was next to the window, then next to him was his dad, and then next to his dad was another kid.

Speaker 5

Right.

Speaker 2

Dad was traveling with the kids all by himself.

Speaker 1

Hero yeah right, yeah, bra beautiful, so beautiful.

Speaker 4

Dad decided that he actually didn't care what the kids did, so long as they didn't bother him. Dad was having a sleep while his five year old son had pulled out some plato, had pulled down his trade table and was mashing that plato into the trade table like it was his job, like he was trying to roll a pizza dough out. So all I was getting for a good two minutes was bang, bang bang bang bang bang.

Was behind the tray table attached to my chair because those trays are so flimsy, so I was trying to rest.

Speaker 2

I couldn't because all I was getting was this bang on the back of the seat.

Speaker 4

So I turned around and I went into my full blown Karen mode. Now I've spoken about being a Karen on this show before. In fact, recently I talked about how much I enjoy being a Karen. No, I think if there is a Karen in this room, it's me.

Speaker 2

I love a letter.

Speaker 4

I love complaining. I can't tell you the amount of times where people in our street are having parties. And I'll say to my husband Matt, and I'll go, is it too early to call the police yet? It was like seven pm but the sun still up. No, So I didn't call the police in this incident. I wasn't like, oh, look, is there any flight? What are they called a plane?

Police marshal. What I did is I turned around and the dad was sleeping, So I put my arm through the little hole and I tapped him on the knee and I said, father, excuse me, could you please ask your son to stop banging my seat? And you could tell he was a bit startled, and he was like, oh, oh, can you stop stop banging the seat? And then he

goes back to sleep. Five minutes later, bang bang. But it was horrible and like, I am not leaving my kids at home to deal with somebody else's kids on this plane.

Speaker 2

So I turned back around and I was like, excuse.

Speaker 4

Me again, wake come yeah, could you maybe just maybe the trade table's a bad idea for the Plato, Like, could you please, could you please anyway? The dad took it and he was like once again. He was like I stop, and then okay, I'm at this point, come on, like, ask your kid to actually stop. I agree, and he was not. He was just the dad did not care because the kid was occupied, so he didn't have to deal with his own child being annoying. I'm a single, brave,

beautiful father on a plane by himself, doting dad. He's a doting dad anyway. So the dad once again checked out, and then it continued, and it continued for a good twenty five minutes, and I was like, I actually can't wear an hour and a half into this six hour flight and I need this to stop. And I turned around to the child and I was like, excuse me, you need to stop banging my seat right now.

Speaker 3

I spoke to the child directly.

Speaker 1

You disciplined discipline. I put on your child.

Speaker 4

I put on my ten out of ten mum voice, and the little kid went like this okay, and he just put the trade table away. Not one single bang from there on in. I wond I won the war against the five year old.

Speaker 3

And we've spoken to the dad. The child a non verbal and the holiday has been ruined.

Speaker 4

The kid was fine, I'm sorry, but like, there comes a point where it's okay to step in and pair it someone else's child.

Speaker 3

There is such a one an hour, one.

Speaker 1

Hour into a flight.

Speaker 2

If they can't stop it, then someone else cares.

Speaker 3

You were the most thirty seven year old I've ever.

Speaker 1

Known you as in this moment, so young, you're.

Speaker 3

So you can't talk, Britt, you cannot talk to another child.

Speaker 1

On a plane as a thirty six year old. You're very thirty seven right now. I think I cannot relate to you right now, Laura, I'm in Miches's generation.

Speaker 2

Sorry about that. Guys, Look, I think it's fine.

Speaker 3

Well, the kids joining us on the phone now, Hidi, he's not speaking, he's traumatized, all right. Next time on the show, listen, how would you feel right if your partner you got a new partner? However, they were still full time career for their ex. I was still living and looking after their ex.

Speaker 2

Wh why are they taking care of them?

Speaker 3

Well, I'll tell you why. I'll tell you all about it. Next on the Pickup, it's the Pickup. Welcome back, Britt, Laura and Mitch. Here thanks to Chemists Warehouse, they want to give you a free Doctor Consult. Download the instant Consult app today save the coupon code CW free to claim your first consult free.

Speaker 1

I want to tell you guys about a TikTok that I saw that's gone viral, but it really stopped me in my tracks. It's about a woman and her relationship with her now husband and her ex husband, and I want to know if you guys think you'd do the same thing. How he listen to what she said.

Speaker 2

My name is Chris.

Speaker 1

My first husband had a severe traumatic brain injury fifteen years ago.

Speaker 2

We're no longer married, but I helped take care of him.

Speaker 1

I'm his legal guardian.

Speaker 2

I love him very very much. He's very much a part of family.

Speaker 1

Chris, who you just heard, and her partner Brandon, were childhood sweethearts, so it's all they knew was each other. They'd planned to spend their entire life together, and then at twenty four and twenty three years old, Chris got a call that he had been in a really bad car accident and he had a really severe traumatic brain injury. Doctors did say if he did live, his life would never be the same. So you know, she had committed to him and committed to this for better or for worse,

and it ended up being for worse. He did come out of the coma, but he has been left with such severe injuries that he was just never the same. So Chris stuck around for a while and tried to make it work, but once she realized he was never going to come back to normal, they split up. But what she did say is she promised him that she would always look after him, and she still does. So she ended up remarrying and they both are the cares

of Brandon. He's in a nursing home now, but they he comes to the house every week and has dinner, and they take them out for dinner, and they take them out for him out for outings. And there's one video in particular that's gone viral and it's her new husband added a restaurant with her ex husband in a wheelchair and he's feeding him dinner and it's a really beautiful moment. But I just thought, Wow, there's probably not many people that would do that.

Speaker 4

Well, Britt, I think that the thing that's so I mean, it is a beautiful story, but I think the thing that's so interesting is how much is divided people People saying whether they would do it or they you know, whether even if she made the right decision to walk away from her marriage, whether they would do that if that was their partner who was in the same position.

I think, I mean, I think it's beautiful that she has continued to be a part of both of you know, his life, and also managed to still go on and carry on with her life. But at the same time, I think, what an incredible new husband to have the confidence, the empathy, the kindness to say, Okay, I want to be in a relationship with you, but I will also support your husband who is like unable to do anything

for himself. I just think it's so it's such a devastating situation, but more than anything, what amazingly caring, kind, generous people they are.

Speaker 2

She is his.

Speaker 1

Guardian, and it makes me think, well, there must be no one else around because they were so young. It was fifteen years ago and they were in their early twenties, So I don't know if there's anyone else to look after him. But I think hats off to her and him. But that's such an incredible thing to say, like, I promise you I'll look after you forever and I'm going to do it.

Speaker 3

Well, yeah, the crazy thing is that, I mean, they weren't together for a very long time. They were twenty four and twenty three, sweetheart, so a lot of those relationships often don't work out, so you wouldn't We don't know if they were going to work out. But the fact that she claims that he was her soulmate, I mean, is beautiful. I'd like to think that I do it for a partner of mine, but then I don't think you can even fathom it until you're in that situation.

Speaker 4

But also there's people in the comment section as well, which is saying, like, you know, I think some people have very traditional views of marriage, like you're married, well, then you're going to stick it out for better orf for worse, and stay married. And I think some people had an issue with the fact that she's caring for him but she's moved on in a new romantic relationship judgment around whether she should have left her marriage and whether she should be caring for him whilst also being

married to someone else. And it made me think of my so my great auntie, my nana sister. She had Ourzeimers really young, and it's something that runs in our family, and it's quite prolific in our family. And she was in her sixties when she was diagnosed and died from Alzheimist.

Speaker 2

Late sixties.

Speaker 4

Yeah, and she had been married to love her life, and my uncle he was caring for her, but she was in a nursing home. She was never going to come back from having Alzheimist. She had no idea who he was. And he started dating again, and I remember some people being happy about it, and I remember some people really in our family being like, how could he do that? How could he move on so quickly? But it's I guess the thing is is that it's not quick.

They're never going to be the same version of a person. And so when you get married, are you marrying that person regardless of who they end up being or regardless of what ends up happening to them? Because I think, you know, it's one thing to age and for your body to get older, but for your mind to completely.

Speaker 2

Not be there? Ye, then who are you married to? Just married to a body of flesh.

Speaker 1

It's such a good point, Laura, because Chris in this story, she said I was grieving a living person. Yeah, like he was that's exactly what my uncle went through. Yeah, yeah, he was here, but he wasn't. And I think, like, who are we to stop that? Who are we to comment on that from you know, we don't know that situation.

Speaker 3

Human's a complex. You can love again. It doesn't negate the history of love that your annie and uncle had, and.

Speaker 4

It doesn't mean that you don't still care for the person that they are. But I just I look at that and I think people are so able to love one person, like you said, Mitch, but also to be able to care and still hold that part of their love for someone else at the same time.

Speaker 2

And it's not as one dimensional as we look at these things.

Speaker 3

Sometimes crazy stuff was Props to the new husband too, that's a big ass for him.

Speaker 1

I agree. I think they've done the best with what they can in that situation.

Speaker 3

Yeah, totally. All right, guys, let's get out of here. We're done for your Tuesday afternoon. If you missed it, Britt gave us an update of fertility Journey earlier.

Speaker 1

In the show. Yes, I did definitely give you an update. This is my third time, no, my second time egg freezing. Sorry, and I don't I don't have a great update.

Speaker 3

It's all on the podcast if you want to have a listen, search to pick up and we will see you tomorrow. Guys.

Speaker 2

That's it from us, Bye bye,

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