FULL SHOW: What did you get up to while your partner was away? 🐱

Laura, come on hello everyone, Hi girl, Hi, Hi, Happy Wednesday.

Down Wood for the rest of the Downwood, downhill.

For the round Wood, Lucky Maddie Jack.

Down would for the rest of the week.

Wow, Laura, I know it's really downhill from here everyone.

I have been guys on the decaf coffees. I've never been a decaff for before. And there's a reason that I've been sitting on this for an hour and it's still half taste.

Like tastes like does it taste as tho?

You know you a decaf on me?

I get hat pals, so I take a decaf in the afternoons.

I would love someone who does decaf coffee on the rig to tell me what the point is.

Is not good because I love the taste of nothing.

I love the taste of coffee, but I don't like the caffeine gives me in the same way that I wish Red Bull would come out with a Red Bull without the garana.

That is so interesting to me because the only reason why I drink coffee is for the buzz. I don't care about the taste. Just give me the buzz.

No, I don't care about the buzz.

I like the taste this still decaf tastes like you had a cup of coffee and then you accidentally tripped over when you're at the festival and it went on the ground and fell in some mud, and then you scooped it back into your cup and then you drunk it.

That's what I thought about. It's just muty coffee. Why are you on the decaf for you've got the heart paler.

I just felt like I'm not on the how heart palp train Mitch like on the Detox.

No, I just feel like I was.

I drink a lot of coffee because I like it, like three cups a day, and I just feel like it's too much now. So I'm trying to wind back to like one coffee and maybe a decaf or two, but I don't think I'm gonna be able to.

Stick to it.

All right, Well, if the show's boring, sorry, guys, Britain's asleep the show.

Oh my god, do you remember yesterday guys, if you were listening, I tried to prank my boyfriend Ben. My partner lives over in Scotland, and I tried to convince him that I needed to earn some extra cash on the side. In a very unique way, and I have an update of.

How that went.

Oh yeah, it's Laura. I don't know if you're across this, but it's I think it's going to happen.

Well, that he's actually going to buy someone's going to buy it, but someone will All right, okay.

There's a market for Britt's new product. We'll tell you about it coming up here at the pickup.

So the last couple of days we've been trying to prank my boyfriend Ben.

Long story short.

We were talking about this woman in Singapore that's making absolute bank online by selling her farts in a jar.

Hundreds like she's making like four No, I think it's a pop.

It was like six hundred.

Bucks or something, or seven hundred, a lot of more.

It's more than what most people are making feed a day of work.

Yeah.

Then we had the idea, Britt, let's see if you can sell your fat.

Well. I thought Ben, I thought it'd be funny. But I thought my partner Bannie lives over in Scotland. I thought he would be really against it, like be like there's no way. So I wanted to try and set him up and see what he would say.

Yeah.

So I took all my close friends off my Instagram list and just basically left Ben on there, so he's the only one that's going to see it. And then I made up a post and the post said, hey, guys, I'm just putting some feelers out before we go public.

So stupid, would you buy my fat in a jar?

And if so, would you buy it for three hundred and fifty dollars?

That sounds like a bargain to And then I said, and then I had a unicorn that was.

Doing a far so you put that on your close friend's story and just for it, and.

I was waiting for him to take the bait.

He took it straight away and the first thing he said was why would I buy it?

I get them for free.

It's very supportive, nice, very funny.

And I obviously got highly offended because said I don't actually fuck, and I'm offended by that. But then I was really shocked by this. I thought he would say, there's no way in hell you're going to be selling your farts online.

Can you imagine the Daily Mail articles Brittany Hockley sells farts in jar, not even for charity, just for.

The Premier League footballers partner sells farts online, so I thought he was going to like cut it, and he.

Was so supportive. He was really cute.

Listen to this.

Hr.

Is that what has come down to?

Really okay? That was first when he didn't know that was that wasn't supportive.

That was where he was like, is this are we are we taking there's a.

Tone in that, brit Surely you're not serious about this.

And then when I told him it was serious and it was probably gonna get a charity, this is what he said, like.

Do I feel like you need to do this?

Probably not. Do I think it's a good idea?

No?

Will I support you regardless, yes, but I don't think I'll be a customer.

So he said that is the wrong thing. He should be a customer. He should be putting top dollar forward. But that's why all of his girlfriends fast.

That's what he said. He goes a geat him for free. I'm not paying for them, but he's he.

Like, guys, the point is at the end of the day, he's supported venture.

Did he send to them on WhatsApp? Is that what time did he send you? The go to the timestamp of those voice messages.

Eight oh four pm.

He's pretty good, Ben, because at eighth nine Ben Ben sent me this voice message.

Seriously, I don't care what time it is in Australia right now, you need to wake up and sort this out. I this cannot happen, okay, Like you need to seriously get a move on and tell her, tell her she can't do it.

And it's the screenshot of the whole conversation about the futs.

He came to me to fix the mess literally.

So it's almost like he doesn't That was four minutes later, so he said, yes, babe, I support you, then four minutes later told you to deal with me.

It's even worse.

He's like it comes across a jew that he's like so nice and supportive and then really behind the scenes.

So sort this out.

He is tony soprano, Mitch, sort this out. I don't care what time is. Yeah, No, I've got Paul. I've got Paul.

Because he knows, you knows that I always go to Mitch with like my ideas that he would know.

He probably thinks you're behind it.

I'm such a yes man now, I'm such in a neighbor.

Would you want to be behind that? Though it wouldn't nothin.

All right, So successful prank, but he's not as sweet as you think.

Oh so he doesn't support my fart in a jar? I'm so I would love to know.

I truly, deeply, I know that this is only a prank, but there's a part of me that wants to know how much someone would sell, like pay for your farts?

Why don't we actually put a call out?

I'm not afraid I could make some meture bank this week.

Ben said yes to you. I mean, let's pretend like you never heard that. Boysfound message, let's steamroll ahead with this. Oh god, I'm going to kill him? What about me?

Guys?

Does anyone? It's a shame. They're good anyway, Laura, you've got something new this week? No, No, I've got something new and something exciting. Not a smelly would be though. Got a new family member joining the Johnson Burn household.

We'll get out.

Yeah, that's exciting, very family member.

You're making an announcement next, Yeah.

Special announcement. I'm not pregnant, though I know. I don't boil it those bread crumbs.

Okay, anyways, on the pickup.

So you guys know the last couple of weeks. My husband, Matt, he's been away in Vegas.

And yeah, party boy.

I know.

He's been over there for the football, having the time of his life.

He was working. I didn't just leave you.

Yeah, I know, but I've been following the Instagram. Doesn't look like he was doing a lot of work. He's been having a lot of fun.

His work is watching football to experience in vague.

It's not a bad job.

Anyway.

He left me with the children, my children that I'm also responsible for when he's not here.

You had equal party making them.

I got to do the best thing yesterday. So I've been wanting to get a kitten for so long, right, I can confirm that brit knows. I speak about it all the time. I've always grown up with cats. I mean, my Instagram handle is Lady and a Cat like. I used to always have cats, and Matt's kind of never really been that into it. But the girls, like Little Lola and Mary, my kids, they are obsessed with cats, and so we've been speaking about it more and more.

I just have some thoughts on this. But you've waited for your husband to be out of the country to get a cat. Yeah, because yeah, I know Laura.

Laura is one of my best friends.

I'm going to tell you how this really went down. Yeah, this is topic.

Laura has been trying to get a cat for a very long time.

Matt is like, I deserve a kitten.

Matt is like, I'm putting my foot down.

I don't want one, so a She's emotionally manipulated Matt via her children. She's like, hey, girls, a cat would be really they don't know what cats are a kitten.

Cute, Look how much you love it? This soddly and so you've gotten them the point of obsession.

No, no, no, wait, Molly, maybe okay, her I tried to manipulate. She doesn't care anywhere near as much as I thought she would. But Lola cares. Lola's my youngest. She's three years old.

Head Laura.

I don't think Laura's We don't trust Lola's her Johnson desires and notes.

We got in there and she found this one little kitten. It's the one that we're adopting, and she was carrying it around saying that she loved it. Have listened to this. He's frostberry Raspberry.

Is your.

Not your sister, you're.

Your kitten, You're kitten?

Who do you love? Oka?

That's really cute.

She was holding Anyway. I facetimed Matt yesterday straight. Oh yeah, I told him he wasn't thrilled by the idea, But now I'm like I was sending him photos and I was just expecting like a little bit more excitement from him, genuinely. But I know when he gets home, he's gonna love this cat and he meets it, he's going to fall in loft.

She did him dirty, and you went.

You went for the big guns while he was away because you knew that you could do whatever you wanted. You've got the house yourself. He can come back. He's not going to get rid of the cat. So you emotionally played. What a game of chess you played?

How bad is it do you think on like the scale of on the scale of things that you do in your relationship when you try and get one past the keeper when your partner's away, going and getting a cat against their wheel.

I think it's up there. I think it's out there as pretty bad, to be honest, although a lot of people do it though, Yeah, I reckon they would. If Matt ever wanted to divorce you, though, he would have such legs in court.

The audio that we have from this show alone, he said he.

Said to me, he was like, you always get your way. But he didn't say it in a nice way. He was like, do you know what He's like, I'm fine with the cat, but you always get your way.

I mean, let's make you feel better. Thirty one and six five.

If you're out there and you're making these kind of chess moves, your partner's away, like, call up and let.

Us know, are you doing this stuff? Because I feel like it's no.

There's absolutely there's got to be couples out there who were doing way worse than getting a cat while their partner's way.

Yeah, what did you get through the keeper while your partner was gone?

So we were just talking about the fact that yesterday me, no, don't you dare, Brittany Hockley, don't you dare that we adopted a kitten and we're such good people. We got it from a pound. We're saving the life of this poor little innocent kitten.

I keep saying we, but who made the decisions?

So when I say we, I mean me and my two daughters, who are pretty much toddlers. But my husband, Matt was Look, he wasn't as keen on the idea of getting a cat as what I was. He said no, he said no, but then he went to Vegas and I did it anyway. And now he's going to grow, Laura, that.

Is, so he's going to grow and take all your money.

Well, then it would just be me and my cat. Yeah, and the kids deal with it?

Are the kids the cad Well, there's a book in that there's a reality show.

I'd watched that.

So it goes thinking, what did you sneaky and past the keeper while your partner was away?

Because I think a lot of people do this. I think a lot of people that you know, if you don't get exactly what you want in a relationship, sometimes you just have to wait for your husbands to do.

In Vegas, well, britt, you are constantly away from your boyfriend Ben because he lives in over the other side of the world.

Do you ask permission for anything though he's got no idea?

What I do?

That kid?

I can live any life I want.

What am I going to ask him? You and Laura are the worst partners in the world.

I don't live with my partner, and I'm not married, and I don't have two kids.

I live alone in another.

Continents called or what did you hide from your partner?

I hide ubery. I go crazy. I just buy so many things, like a meal for free, so innocent.

What do you mean?

So you just think you eat too much?

Or no, my partner doesn't.

Like getting uber eats because then he spends two hours trying to fly coming to eat.

He just takes to make a decision that's annoying though, Yeah, you're just ordering up.

I've got two things, Sushi's and her Las Knapcacks, so I go crazy.

That is innocent and sweet, and I think that that's okay that.

How do you hide though?

Like?

Does it go on the bank account? Did they ever check?

No, it goes on my bank account. But then I'll hide the takeaway containers. So I'll put them directly in the outdoor bins.

That is what if he takes a rubbisher, I.

Could do the neighbors bins next time.

They was a toxic don't give no ideas, Jamie High. What do you hide from your partner?

I was in one way for the weekend.

I knocked out a wall in our bedroom.

Sorry, quickly take it back. Why did you knock a wall down?

I was thirty four weeks pregnant and we were turning our walking robe into our nursery and my husband had been like, I'll get to it. I'll get to it, and then he went fishing for the weekend.

So I got to it. I think that what did you What did you take to it? Like a sledgehammer?

Yeah, I started with a sledgehammer.

I did not finish the job.

It was quite a tacky job, but it was started.

At least I started it. I do like that you made enough of a mess that he then had to get it finished when he came home.

He has a choice, I think everywhere.

And now he's going to grow to love the nursery in the same way that Matt's going to grow to love the cat.

No, he loves the hole in the wall because he ain't never fixed it. Did he? My god, he did? Actually we got it thwarted.

Oh, I'm encouraging.

I'm encouraging this behavior.

If your partner goes away, I enclined for you to do the things you've always wanted to do.

I encouraging this.

Jamie's knocking down at the wall, I get that. I get that.

But buying an animal that you have to look after the next fifteen to twenty years, Laura, No.

I know Britt, I joke, I joke. I do know Matt better than he knows himself, and he will grow to love this kitten so much. It's so beautiful. Now she speaks for Matt. I'm going to bring the I'm going to bring the kitten into the studio next week.

Do not bring that ransom thing in this shoe, which is allergic. I'm allergic to cats.

I'll wait until you're not here, and then I'll bring it in.

Anyone, everything in your seat, and do we not bring that thing near me.

Let me tell you, Brassberry will be a coolie very soon.

All right, let's go. We'll see you all tomorrow. Gorebares guys,