FULL SHOW: What did they get up to when you were away? 💉

Laura and bitch come on in.

Hi everyone, Hi girls, another week is here and here we are.

I have a huge announcement mission, Laura, have had a baby.

This is the surrogate baby that you hadn't told anyone about.

Okay, I haven't had a baby, but my sister, who is my best friend and the same person as me, she's basically an extension of me. She had her first baby, and I feel like it's like me having a baby.

I agree, Auntie.

Brittany's been an auntie for quite a long time though, like all of her other brothers have children. But I think there is something different when your sister has a baby.

I remember when my sister had a baby and I felt.

Like, oh, this is my child, this is actually my biological child.

You know this for me had a baby this year as well, and I had the exact same feeling.

It was a very unexpected baby in terms of not the fact it was unexpected. We had nine munchs that was coming, like we all knew it was coming, but it's it slid out into the world five weeks early.

He slid on out like I don't.

I'm not allowed to go into details because in fact, she reminded me, it is not my child and these are not the details for me to give. But it was like a wild delivery, very unexpected.

Did Cherry have to give you a talking to?

No, but that brit wouldn't share it all on a national radio show.

Yeah, absolutely not.

But I I we know that we have a respectful relationship. Cherry and I.

She knows what I do for a job is content. But I also know that she hasn't shared it on her own. She said she's had a baby, but no details, so that's not up to me to give. But I'm too excited to not tell the world that I am a new aunt, a baby girl.

I can say that, well, like, it's not BRIT's responsibility to announce her sister's.

Baby, but he she is.

But she's so excited about it.

I get it.

I understand.

Well.

I waited for her to post a photo. I was like, when you're leaking a photo. She's like, I think I'm gonna do that celebrity thing where you just put a foot out, and I'm like, yeah, I do it.

Break crumb, bread crumb.

She puts one of those baby blankets up, but you know, the wooden the wooden name. That spells out the name of the Wooden Block.

It's suspense. That's what she's doing.

She's trying to drive a bit of suspense around the announcement.

It's not that it's because they're still in the hospital.

So she was excited enough to announce. She wanted to announce it, but she's also there in the hospital, still going through it.

Well, we're happy for you.

From beautiful news to news that I think will shatter every heart and soul in the country.

Adele has announced she's leaving music.

Not okay with this? What I will never be the same. I've not heard that.

Well unusual midch style. It's not exactly true. It's half true. She is leaving, but I'll tell you how long and why. After this, let's start to pick up your Monday Welcome to the show.

It's Monday. We have to do this. It's a tradition.

She can't.

I'm going to give Britain Laura a topic news topic from today and from the weekend that the world is discussing. It's then up to you if we pick it up, carry on the discussion, or we put it down we stop talking about it.

Hits got it?

Okay, pick up, put down Adele announcing she's leaving music.

I have ten shows left after this, but after that I will not see you for an incredibly long.

Time, and I will hold you dear in my heart for that whole next of my break.

It has been amazing.

I just need a rest and I have spent I have spent the answer for seven years building a new life for myself and I want to live it and.

I want to want to live my life.

I've been building that, right.

What pick it up?

Pick it up?

No, pick it up.

She's like, done this residency for so long whilst going through a divorce and a relationship breakdown.

The residency in Vegas would be so exhausted. It is so grueling, wouldn't it. And then what's the point of earning all.

This money and creating this life that you want and then you can't actually enjoy it or live it?

Oh?

I say pick it up and put it down simultaneously, And it comes from like my pure want to hear more Adele music, Like I don't want her to go and have a hiatus.

And also how long is a very long time.

She'll release music? I think she probably just means she's not gonna do the residency anymore.

She's also said that she wants another kid. And she's also not even married to Rich Paul. She's just not even really engaged.

But maybe they'll never get married. That doesn't I mean, they don't need time to necessarily do that.

She has said in the past that that they want to.

No, you know, she's worked so hard, she's so amazing, And if anyone deserves to break it down.

All right, pick up, put down the sweet sweet smell of Crayola crayons.

Pick it up. I need context.

No, I know the context of this, and I'm all for it. I think crayons have a distinct smell. It smells like childhood, smells like my kids.

But no, I know what you're talking about here.

It's about Yeah, Crayola have trademarked their iconic smell of their crayons so they can use it in stores, the CEO has said, and potentially down the line in a perfume.

So I've got a box of Crayol and crayons.

No one is wearing a perfume of crayon. That is so stupid.

It is so distinct. Describe it.

The notes to me it smells disgusting. No, it smells. There's no part of me that wants to let me just put someone you know is a summer scent.

Put it on your pulse points. Now, Brittany Hockey's wearing ruge red.

I've got the orange on my neck. No, it smells like off plastic. No, it's just plato, that's what it is.

It smells like plato. It doesn't even smell. Plato is like saltyer. This smells. This smells like moldy, moldy crackers.

So apparently in the crayle of stores in the US, now that it's trademark, they're going to pump it into the stores.

So you walk in and have that.

But it's not it's not a nice scent.

Like it's not a scent that you you smell and you go, God, I want more of that. It's distinct, but that doesn't mean it's nice.

Imagine going out on a date with a guy or girl and then like getting to the final point, you're abou to kiss them at their doorstep, and you go, what.

Is that you're wearing?

Creole? That's like finding out someone's into World of Warcraft.

It's the same thing orange kreolol.

I wear purple cREL.

Oh my god, what a match.

That's made Heaven. I'm wearing Texter. All right, pick up down, Grady joining the Mile High Club? Pick it up?

Have you ever done it?

I haven't, but I would don't want to leave this earth without giving it a whirl.

Yeah, I pick it up as well.

I've never done it, but I admire those who managed to have done it, and I would like to.

This is trending training because a pilot sorry came out and said that he saw Lily Allen and Liam Gallagher for an Oasis joined the Mile High Club back in two thousand and nine. He said they were under a duvet. They didn't even go to the lavatory. They did it in the business class jet.

This is what I was going to say.

You can't join it in economy, you physically cannot fit.

It's hard to get my pants down in economy. But if you're in business or first they have like full on.

En suite bathrooms with like lounges in there, and you've got you're in a bed, like what if it's quite an empty flight?

Like if you get just I don't know, you're opportunistic you're on a very empty flight.

Surely you could do it an economy. I always succeeds to yourself.

I've tried.

You're not doing it an economy.

You have tried, Mitch in economy.

I tried an economy and get this is when I was one hundred and sixty kilos Mitch joking. Also, I think the air pressure affected my I think I dysfunctioned on that floor.

There was no blood flow to the parts. It was really quite scary, all right.

Next on the show Matt Coming Up, I went away for a couple of nights.

Actually, no, that's a lie.

I went away for one night, one night away from my husband, and he got up to something which, look, I.

Really don't think you should have done whilst I was away.

You upset about it? Or are you for it?

I just kind of feel as though he went behind my back.

To be honest, Drama and the John say about it.

Next all right after Way after Way after.

Pay, on the way on the pick.

Up, my husband, Matt has done something last week which I don't know how I feel about it.

Can I just say, Laura, how many times you've said that on the pickup in the history of the show.

I mean to be fair, I love the man, but he does a lot of questionable things, that's for sure. It's good content. So I was away last week Britain and I. We were in Melbourne for the night and Matt had the kids. He had a very busy couple of days. And in the morning on Monday, at this point in time, I have been away for no more than about thirteen hours and I get a text message from him and.

It is a picture. Let me show you this. It is a picture of what do you think this is?

I mean, I know what this is, so I don't want to play this game, all right, Mitch, what do you think this is?

It looks like a victim of a hit and round, like a turtle that's roadkill on the side of the road.

I think it kind of looks like a cross between a kangaroo that slightly deformed and it's wearing a turtle backpack.

Like it's lost its tail. I will personally defend Matt here. I do think it looks like a turtle. Okay, well you're the only one. So I get this picture sent to me and I looked down. I'm like, what is this?

And I kind of put it aside, and then about fifteen minutes later, I was like, hold it on a second, what was that in the background. And I look at the picture again and in the background is the base of a medical chair, like kind of looks like.

A dentist chair.

And I was like, I know what this is. I know where he is. That is a tattoo chair. And Matt has gone on the one night that I am away, he has gone to the tattoo parlor and he has gotten this horrific tattoo. I thought he got it on his ass for a second, because when he sent me a photo, he was in the chair still getting it done, and he was kind of like laying down on his stomach smiling back at the camera, and the tattoo artist was down near his butt. But it turns out, look

So what you're saying, you think he did it because you're away from home.

He waited for you to leave.

So the story is he lost a bet, right, so he bet his brother in law that he was going to win a run or a marathon or something. Anyway, he lost it and the bet was whoever was the loser had to get this tattoo. But I think he got it done while I was away because he knew I was going to try and talk some sense into him and tell him that this was a really stupid idea.

Do you dislike it? And if he approached you and asked you about it, what would you have said?

I don't hate it, It's fine. He has lots of tattoo, so it's kind of hidden amongst some of the other ones he has. But I would have advised him that maybe this wasn't the best looking turtle that he could have gone for. And even when I said to him, I was like, oh, I don't know if this is a great idea, he was like a bit late, babe, what would you I don't.

Know, actual turtle, realistic tattoo? Yeah, with a pencil you wanted to jump in there with real life eyes.

I don't know.

But here's my question.

Do you think if your partner gets a tattoo that they should discuss what that tattoo is with you first.

Oh, well, both our partners. Your boyfriend Ben fiance, Ben is full of tats. My boyfriend Stephen has a few and plans to get many more.

This is interesting.

I think we should have a say in the tattoos, or at least our opinion should be taken in and listen to.

I agree, at the end of the day, it's their body. They can do what they want. Of course we don't need but it's true we don't need to preach out to anyone. But I do think it needs to be taken into consideration your partner that needs to look at you day in and day out for the rest of your existence, that they also like it.

And are on board with it.

Ben wants a new tattoo at the moment, I say at the Moment's gone on for about eight months because he keeps sending me pictures.

And I keep semi politely veto in the.

Tattoos a very detailed He's got Who's the Actor on his car?

He has no he has a giant portrait of Russell Crowe on his thighs. So you picture this when we're getting sexy time, I'm looking at Russell Crowe's.

Face just Russell babies. I wit Russell on?

Would he Russell Crowe is his favorite person in the world. So it's not okay, hang one's gonna kill me.

It's not just hang on, It's.

Not just a portrait of Russell Crowe. Let me explain this because everyone thinks Ben is weird.

It is.

Gladiator is Ben's favorite movie. So he got a whole Gladiator scene. And Ben is six foot six, so his legs are really big. His whole scene of Gladiator with Russell Crowe, the detail right on his thigh, so that I look at Russell in my momenta, in my most intimate moment.

I'm not against Matt getting tattoos. I just wish he'd consider me. And when I say that, I just I just want to give my artistic you know, my artistic input into the whole situation.

You just upset that you're not on the body anywhere that nowhere.

He now has my daughter's birthday to both both have two.

He has both kids.

Birthday's tattoo on his body and I'm not there, but he's got like a mutant turtle.

All right, Well, listen, I have a feeling the phones are doing quite well. Why don't we got a break when we come back. Have you done this? Has your partner done something behind your back? We'll take your caurse next on the pickup.

All right, we've just been talking about the things that your partners might do while you are away. And I say this because I want to wait in Melbourne for one night only. And I came home to my lovely husband, Maddy Jay, who had gotten the world's stupidest tattoo on the back of his leg.

And he's worse. Why, well, there's way worse tattoos than us. He could have cheated on me. Yeah, he could cheat.

You're at one hundred real quick. He could have gone missing and I could not know where he is.

Well, if he's going to do things behind my back, I think cheating is worse than getting a tattoo.

It's a horrific tato, that's the problem.

It's not bad.

It's a turtle on his back.

Man.

So Laura just called it horrific. Then when we do it, she's like, no, you're not allowed to call horrific, but it is.

Do you know why?

Because he listens to this show and as as things come out of my mouth, that are quite mean. I then worry that he's going to listen to it and feel sad. I love you still, even if your tattoo's awful.

Is called does this having you cards?

Well?

Actually, to my parents, my mom did something to my dad behind his back. He bought baby cows while she was on a girl weeken away with her sisters, which is a little bit Well, they're on two and a half acres, so not really. My dad just he he's immigrants from Lebanon, so he just still thinks he's living that village lifestyle. He's had chickens like everything. My mom's

He fired and joy, how many cows do you think?

He had three? And she was like, I'm not dealing with cows. Well he's away, No, he's got enough to deal with.

I get it.

If my husband bought cows and then pissed off for two months and I had to take care of the cows, I'd sell them to really, yeah.

Well we're all for it.

You can't do that.

So if Matt.

If Mat got an animal while you're away, it'll piss you off.

No, no, because I get animals without Matt saying yester all the time.

He didn't want a cat, and I bought a cat.

So yeah, listen, that's what we wanted to bring up. Were getting que a few messages to the pick up Instagram.

Yeah, Laura, just listening to you on the pickup now, hypocrite much? While you while Matt was away in America, you purchased a cat.

I've got a cat, and.

I quote, I don't care what he thinks, is what you said.

He didn't say I don't care. That's what a quote means.

A lot of talking. Man, No you did.

It's a cat.

It's a beautiful because she's beautiful, and I take care of her and he doesn't do anything.

No, Actually, that's it. That's not accurate because you also go away a lot. And guess who looks after the cat.

My mother in law, No Matt, she does, Matt's mother and my child.

You are you come on this show, you blow your friend elf. Damn Matt tato his own body. But when he's away, you fill the house.

With you can laser off at tattoo. You can't laser off a cat once again. At least I didn't cheat on him.

True.

People are very into this, Tarlie, is the same thing happened to you. We're getting lots of calls on the pickup.

Yeah, my now husband. At the time, he was my boyfriend. I was going away on a three week holiday overseas. I thought I'd be the caring girlfriend. He's not a great cook, and I cooked him three weeks worth of meals and stopped him in the freezer.

And it wasn't.

Until our wedding two years later, in his speech that he told me that they all went to the dog.

Are you a terrible cook?

No?

I don't think so, prefer takeaway while I was away, I think.

Well, I hope he's learned his lesson and you've learned your lesson. Now you were never to cook for that man again.

Lucky dog sick from that totally. Oh, here comes to the animal police again. So I always thinking of animals. Can I get a cat? Poor dog? Those cows we're talking about ten minutes ago, can buy them? I don't get that call back she sold the cows? Can I buy them?

Let's going away next week, Load up the cows. Way for that to go away. I am going to buy some cows.

All right, let's get out of here.