FULL SHOW: Wedding STRESS & Bribing Your Kids

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Are you ready pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Bird Radio?

What our windows done? My word risen?

The dust?

Only good tabs all down? I don't much, but yeah, I know our big get and what I want. It don't matter where. This is the pick up, Hi guys, it's the pickup with Bred Hockey and Laura Birth. Question. Yeah, go hear me.

How often should we mix up our intro songs?

Oh?

As in the do we change the intro song? Yeah? What do you reckon? I don't know, like next year maybe maybe?

I mean I think it's a whole thing though, to get them to change that music. The reason why we're talking about this is because producer Grace just pointed out that inner intro song music.

If we should point this, someone coughs cough.

It's very subtle. You have to listen really carefully.

But we've convinced ourselves that there's a little micro like coffin.

We're gonna isolate the cough and that's gonna come back tomorrow on tomorrow's show, where we isolate and play the cough for you from our bosses for highlighting the cough potentially potentially, but who cares?

Look, do you know what has happened and is exciting news? The met Gala. It's been everywhere all over the news today.

But I am always fascinated about how the guests invite list to this thing works, Like how do how does Anna Wintor just decide who she's gonna have come and then she They pay.

A ludicrous amount to attend, do they? Yes, like a ludicrous amount for a table, It's like eighty thousand. No, it's hundreds of thousands of dollars produce a.

Grace is googling now?

I thought it was an I thought it was an invite only situations.

Situation.

No, you still have to be invited, but a lot of people don't go because it's like hundreds of thousands of dollars.

How much is it?

Grace? So it has seventy five thousand dollars as the ticket price. But I think a lot of designers invite people to wear their fashions, but it all has to be approved by Anna Wintoor.

Yes, So I watched a really funny little segment that was on. It was just a real that was going vi from at the Graham Norton show. And you know Helena Bonham Carter, she was everything she was from Harry Potter. So she was sitting on the couch with Rihanna and like a whole heap of other just like absolute aless celebrities, and Graham Norton was saying like, oh, you guys have all been to the met to the met gala before.

And Helena was the only one who hadn't have listened to this all been at the real METCARTA No, yes you have it. You haven't. No, you have not, because dress like that.

Old.

So that was Rihanna just absolutely slaying.

It was so funny.

Is some Brihanna's brown called savage that that was savage?

Yeah, it really was. But also they all just laughed and she was like, yeah fair. She was sitting there in this big, like voluminous pattern.

Dress because she's quite alternate, like she al so she wears is quiet and she doesn't care.

She gives no fs, she doesn't care.

I don't know if I'm the minority Laura, and I don't you tell me your experience, but I'm getting married very very very soon. I have not enjoyed wedding planning one bit, like not maybe four percent, if I had to pull a number out of my butt, four percent, Like I have disliked the entire process.

I don't like admin or planning of anything. So I mean, I was very lucky when it came to my wedding with Matt. Because Matt in a past life before he did what he does now, he.

Used to be an event organizer, so.

He has so many I know, I know, and he was like the unicorn person to marry because I hate organization, I hate admin, and he is so good at it, so he just took over and pretty much, you know, I hear horror stories about so many women who are left doing all the planning for the wedding and the guy just rocks up in his tucks on the day. That was not the case to me. I was like a wedding princess. I just rocked up in my wedding dress and someone pointing me in the direction.

Oh you're turning me on, stop it?

Like that is that is all I could have dreamt of.

I don't know how I feel about that. The banks just roll with it. But I even have a.

Wedding plan like, I have these amazing planners from Easy Weddings that are helping me so much because it is an international wedding.

But that doesn't sound very easy for you.

But no, but it's because even with a planner, they don't make the whole wedding for you, like you to make make a decision. Yeah, my fiante Ben, he got the date mixed up, Like when I quized him on the date, he didn't even know what date he was supposed to turn up, which was very worrying.

So it's really soon. He doesn't have a suit.

He does not have a suit.

He did not have his groomsman suits until a week ago, and they've just arrived and they don't fit Britt.

Can I also point out that, so for anyone who doesn't know this, like the celebrant that BRIT's gonna use is one of my best friends. She was a celebrant at my wedding and I saw her on the weekend and she was like, I'm really glad that Britt actually finally messaged me about getting the paperwork underway, because I don't know if she realizes that you can't just show up on the day and get married. You have to have a it's called an intent to marry already pre done yep, and Britt had.

Not done that yet.

So Britt intends to marry, but just hadn't actually done the paperwork.

Yeah, the intent's there, but legally it's not. No, it's a whole thing.

And I didn't know that.

I just thought you could get married.

I thought love ruled all.

So I think it's to try and shop, like to try and stop those like Vegas shotgun weddings.

It's to try and.

Stop people from eloping on a drunk night out and then you know, an nulling it the next day.

So Ben suit haven't hasn't arrived yet, right, and he's six foot five, so it's.

Highly likely it is not going to fit him. But we have no time to change it.

So just be a little bit cropped like alot work a lot.

The ankle bit is three quarters, or maybe we can just we might just have to cut the pants off and just make them sure cute cute, okay whatever.

The groomsman suits arrived, did they fit?

No, they didn't so cute, So we sent those back as well.

I'm hoping that they come back in time.

And the big thing is and there's there's no one to blame here, and I have faith Laura is making my wedding rings, which I have seen pictures of them. They are stunning, Thank you, But do I have them yet?

No?

When you say there's no one to blame here, So for context in when I'm not moonlighting as a radio person, I'm also a jewlry designer.

Yeah, swipe up temp socent off.

No, but really, so Brit came to me and said, you know what she wanted to get her engagement rings made.

I would never get them from anybody else.

That was almost a year ago. Wait they're free, right, that was almost a year ago.

And then it took you so long to actually get organized on what you wanted that it was only a couple of weeks ago that Britt was like, Okay, I've.

Finally decided this is what I want.

Which is fine, Like, we know we can hustle, we can get things done.

But when you have months of.

Preparation and then someone rocks up and they're like, hey, I actually need three rings now for Ben and two rings, yeah, she really overstretched it. So anyway, I want to reassure you, though, Britt, your rings look amazing, and they are almost finished and you will have them for your wedding day, so you don't need to worry about that.

I will come through with those goods, don't you worry.

The almost part gives me a little bit of anxiety.

What did I say? Almost? Yes, they'll almost be ready for your wedding.

Yep, and they'll almost be perfect.

No, I think not. No, I said they're almost here. They're almost finished.

And you know what, it's at the point now where the littlest things are making me so upset.

But it's I wouldn't normally be upset.

I couldn't really care about it, but because of the accumulation, it is like a wedding stress snowball build up, you know where they all piler. So the other day my cake person wrote and said that they didn't have the pastry that I needed anymore, and I cried, that is how ridiculous I've been crying over a cake.

Now you need to listen to some mel Robbins and you just need to let go.

What is that? What's her thing? Let them? Let them, just let them.

Well, I am so now I'm not having my pastry cake, which I'm very upset about But at this point, I genuinely believe that if somebody said I could design a wedding for you, you won't know one thing and I could turn up. I would turn up like I do not care about the decisions anymore. I'm like Ben, as long as you figure out the date, and I'm going to test him again to make sure he's got it. As long as you figure out the date. Oh my god,

You need to sort your life out, Brittany. And I don't think live on air is the place to do it. I reckon that this is something that you might need to do in your own personal time.

Sorry, because I it's so many flights, I always could confus what I've booked.

I haven't booked it.

Okay, watch this space.

I may or may not.

Be getting married soon.

The other day, I was on Instagram and I was looking through the news. Not for anything hard hitting, let me tell you, but I was like flicking through a couple of news sides, and then I saw a familiar face pop up.

So there's an.

Article that's going viral at the moment about a woman who went and had a massage. Unfortunately, it wasn't a massage parlor that she walked into, but as I was watching it, it literally came up first and I was like, hold on, that's Sophie. Sophie is someone I work with through my business tony mate. She's got a small business her self called Talent Tied Beautiful. But have a listen to this, guys.

Guess what. I accidentally had a massage out of broth.

So currently Sophie is she's blowing up new sides all across the country because an unfortunate mishap.

In a massage parlor. So welcome to the show.

Hi, how are you going good?

So? How does one end up in an adult massage pilor? Shall I say?

Oh? Well, I had hurt my neck going for a swim. That's what happens when you're over thirty and had been to the gym and was desperate to get my neck fixed. I literally just went into my small coastal town. There was a massage place open. I walked in. I didn't really think too much of it until like three weeks later. There was a lady asleep in the window, but I just thought she was.

Sleep in the window, and that wasn't the tell, No.

Not at all. I just thought tired, like we've all.

Been working hard.

Yeah great, So what happens? Did you walk in you like asked for a massage? Did everyone look confused?

Was it like you know, everyone seemed really surprised to see me there, And then I went in to explain how small my neck was. They kind of rushed me through the process really quickly. I had to do pay ID rather than like tush or card, which I also didn't think was like that out of the ordinary. Everyone has tech issues. In hindsight, there was so many red flags like waving right in my face, like I'm a busy mom, I have three businesses. I was desperate for

So how Isa, what are the I don't want to know what the red flags were that you saw?

Okay bed on the floor for the ladies sleep in the window, and she was like done up to the nine. She looked so beautiful. Then once I'd paid via PAYID, the massage therapist called a man and got him to confirm that my payment had come through. The biggest red flag at the time for me was like they didn't change the bedding. Once I'd left. She was like out out, go go, and I was like, she didn't leave the room.

Okay, they did a good job at least.

Yeah, he did an amazing job. And then in hindsight now I'm like, oh, you were like touching my bums a fair bit, But.

Do you think that they were waiting.

Yeah, maybe they were waiting for you to turn around to actually ask for more of a full service.

I thought, Oh, I mean, I'm the biggest believer in other people are professionals in their profession. I thought, this is a new technique, so you're really good at look.

I feel for you. I've sort of accidentally done it as well.

I was in this massage parlor once, just a random one that I went into, and there was a man massage in me, which I only ever usually get females, and I remember thinking like he started to massage me in a really funny way, like he would massage.

At my back, but he would lean his chest onto my back, and really his chest wasn't actually on it, but I.

Could feel the closes, I could feel the closest and he kept going up and up and up, and I was like, I was so uncomfortable.

But it was so many years ago where.

Now I would have run out of the room, right, I would have said stop. But then I was like, oh, it was overseas. I was like, just see it out, yeah, And then towards the end he started we spree my ear.

So every time it's horrified.

Yes, every time he went out my back from like the top of my butt all the.

Way up, he was like sex. And I was like, and I was so awkward. I was like planking, you know when your body goes so stiff.

This is like evilly horribly predatory. I can't even laugh about this.

That's definitely a line drawn all the red flags.

I wonder if this is not as like, you know, infrequent, yeah, infrequent, as what maybe we might.

Think it is.

My video would suggest.

Yeah.

I remember when I was in my twenties, I went in to get a massage. I didn't think anything of it, which just shows how naive I was.

I was so young.

I was with my boyfriend at the time, and I walked into a massage parlor. Thinking back, it was just two mattresses on the floor, So let me tell you, I don't think.

That that was a qualified massage parlor. But nothing bad happened.

Yeah, well look, and I just feel like egg on me. You know. Everyone else on the internet was like, there's so many tells, you know, if they've got a flashing light out the front, and I was like, I didn't even notice it's a massage place.

So all I have to say is I really hope that your neck is feeling better.

And I want to go back.

You go back on viral all over the internet.

So we recently were talking about the fact that my two daughters, Marley and Lola, five.

And four, are both still sleeping in my bed, which is not ideal. It's insane.

Yea queen bed as well, so like, no one's sleeping in our household too big. Five's too big. So Marley only gets in sometimes because she realizes that her little sister, because they share a room and they share bunk beds, she realizes her little sister has come and gotten in our bed. So she's like, well, stuff this, I'm not gonna stay in here by myself. So then she finds her way into our bed as well. She's got foe mo she does.

But the problem is Lola.

Lola is ground zero because up until recently, Lola, since since she was like I'm talking eighteen months and she could, since she could get out of her own cot, she has not a night in her own bed. It doesn't matter where I am, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. She will sniff me out and she will find me in the middle of the night, she will climb into bed, and it just means that no one gets good sleep

Have to listen to this.

Put Lolly in her bedroom, in her bed where you intend for her to sleep the way you're currently doing it. But then at the same time you go to bed in the same room. So you actually move a single mattress into her room, but ever so slowly you move that mattress closer and closer to the door, eventually on the other side of the door in the hallway, and then again you inch it every night or two further away, until eventually it's in the corridor and then magically just returned to your own bedroom.

You have to edge away.

Okay, My fear is that this is an absolute stitch up and we will both be sleeping in a trundle bed in the hallway.

I did source doctor Gollie for you.

I did bring him for you, and I did think that I was you know, not all heroes were cave so I thought you'd be celebrating me, thanking me.

But it's not quite what happened.

No, because when I heard this, and look, I.

Am not an expert. Let it be known. I am the woman.

Who's had a child's sleep in their bed for the last three years five years.

But the thing is.

Is, I just know that if I did this method, Lola and I are both sleeping on a pull out bed in the hallway, like, she'll sniff me out, doesn't matter where I go. If I inched ten centimeters further away, she'll just roll there.

She'll find her way.

Yes, she'll leave at eighteen when she graduates.

So I was actually in the park and this woman came up to me who listened to the show. She heard it and she was like, did you try the camp out method? And I was like, I can't do it. So what I want to share with you guys is, look, I haven't done the camp out method, and if it's worked for you, amazing. But I have come across another thing that is working fantastic in our household.

So we have started the rewards chart.

Now it's not a new theory, it's just bribery, but it works really well. So we've created a chart. Monday through to Friday, every night she sleeps in her own she gets a stamp. It is amazing how excited.

Kids get about a stamp, Like this is the best thing that's happened to her all day.

Well, it can't be the stamp. It's the idea of what the stamp brings, right, it's the prospect of the future. What is at the end of the stamp?

Well, it's not even no, no, it's the stamp is pretty enticing. She gets to pick which stamp she wants. Brought a whole pack on Amazon, all these different animals every day. She like tomorrow it's gonna be the turtle mum. So like she's pretty stroked about the stamp system. And then when we get to Friday. So once she's done six sleeps from Sunday to three.

To four, not even five, you've gone the hole.

Stretch in it, guys.

And next week it's going to be seven, we get to go for Yochi. The thing is, though, so if.

I don't see you for twenty four hours of the day, you will get So we taken for Yochi on a Friday afternoon.

And about yogurt, Yeah, like frozen yoga. It's like going to the ice cream shop. The thing is, though, is that we always go to Yochi on a Friday afternoon.

We've been going to Yochi on.

A Friday afternoon for almost a year. That's just a little thing that we do. So I'm bribing her with something that she already gets to do. She just hasn't cottoned on that. Now it's a bribe.

What are you going to do when she realizes that, like that's already a given.

Hopefully by then she's gotten pretty good at sleeping in her own bed and it becomes like habit for her.

Everyone tells you that bribery is not a good idea for.

Kids, but it's just so effective that I think if it works for you, leaning.

But maybe this bribe is different.

And I think it is because it's not like if you stop screaming, I'll give you this. It's more of something that they're working towards themselves, and it's a prolonged new habit that they're forming, so like six nights a week, she has to do this one thing to get it. So I think it's different than like, please, if you stop screaming, I'll give you an ice cream. Absolutely, I know I joke and I call it a bribe, but really I think that the word reward system is the

All in our own bit of a stretch.

We've gone from ice cream she is running for prime minister. Well, I'm glad you just got your life back laws just in time for the third baby to arrive.

Well, this is why we're doing it.

We're trying to get to a place where both our kids sleep in their same bed. So that way we don't have two other children in the bed and a newborn baby, because I just I don't think I'll survive that.

Where's your newborn going to go back in the hallway where lollies to sleep.

You've got a pretty crowded house.

Yeah, that's a whole other story because at the moment we don't have a nursery because I turned that into like a little work room.

Yeah. Anyway, guys like that is it from us today?