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Good pickup with Brittle and Laura Ben Rady.
Your work, our windows done, that's my world, Rison the dust only goodabs down. I've done much, but yeah, I know our big get and what I want.
It don't matter where. This is the picker.
Hi, guys, you're listening to the Pickup with Britt Hockey and Laura Ben.
Okay again a week too late, but huge breaking news. I just got married two weeks ago. I'm obsessed with my dog, Delilah.
The news broke this morning.
That in New York you can now get married by your dog, and your dog can.
Be your official witness.
I wish I was kidding people, I'm not.
I wish you knew too, because I think we've taken things too far. I think we've progressed too far in society. If your dog can witness your married.
Look how they sign it now, Laura, with their proms and the I mean how I signed your wedding.
CITYVT with the smiling face and kiss kiss.
I put two kisses to be fair.
If the contrast was between Britt Hockley signing your marriage certificate or your dog.
Think carefully about your next sentence, Laura, Well, there's has come with the stipulation you can have your dog as your witness as long as they're accompanied by a human witness.
So it's like, I think it's just a bit of fun.
I mean, you can do it, but is it necessary? I mean, I feel like we don't have your dog walk yourself down the aisle, like my dog walked me down the aisle. Who's part of the wedding procession. But I don't need Bustard to sign my marriage certificate.
I can't consent.
I'll do it.
No, No, you did do it. No, I mean I'd do it.
If my dog could witness my weddings certificate, I would do that.
All right, We've got a big show for you guys today. Now, something we were talking about recently, and I think it's because my whole algorithm at the moment is pregnancies, babies. It's like the social media knows I'm pregnant and it's feeding me every single article or Instagram post that has to do with pregnancy.
But the way it works, it does, doesn't it.
Well, Look, this is something that we've spoken about on life uncut before. But I really do think that the conversation around this is changing, and that is that there is a bit of a silence that surrounds the first twelve weeks of pregnancy now for most women, and I won't speak for everyone. I'm certainly not the oracle of pregnancy, but for a lot of women, we are told to keep your pregnancy or your good news quite private for
the first twelve weeks. Now, the reasoning around that is because during that first twelve weeks is when most miscarriages happen. It's when the rate of which you can lose your baby is quite high. And for anyone who doesn't know the stats, one in four pregnancies does end in miscarriage. Usually it's early miscarriage. And I myself have had two miscarriages.
I had one before my first daughter, Maley, and I had one before my second daughter, and I always found it quite a I guess, quite an interesting thing that you're told to keep it to yourself for the first twelve weeks, because the problem is is if you haven't told anyone that you're pregnant, you also don't get to share with anyone or explain to anyone why you might be feeling really.
Sad if something does go wrong.
And there's been quite a movement in a recent article that's come out around really starting to shift the perception around this secrecy of twelve weeks. And the question is is who does it benefit? Does it actually benefit new expectant mothers or is it something that just adds more shame around the whole feeling of like, well, my body wasn't able to carry a pregnancy to full term. If you are someone who unfortunately joins that awful club of having a miscarriage, look, it's.
A hard one.
I've not been pregnant and I've not had a miscarriage, so I can't speak to it like that. But I do think it's interesting because I understand where it comes from.
Like I understand why it's always been like, hey.
Don't tell anyone until you're quote unquote safe or in the clear. And I guess that is because for a lot of people, if you tell a mass amount of people, it does mean you have to deal with it on a mass level as well. I don't believe in keeping it a secret for the twelve weeks, but I understand why it's like, you know, maybe don't go crazy with who you tell, but you definitely need that support system.
You need someone to be there with you if you're going through it.
Yeah, but you don't have to tell everyone's it on Instagram. But I mean you can tell your people at work, you can tell your support systems. Actually, Samantha Payne, so she's the co founder and CEO of Pink Elephant, and she puts it so perfectly. She said this, the twelve week rule tells us to stay quiet just in case. But if the worst does happen, then you're suddenly grieving in silence. You haven't told anyone, so there's no support. And I do think that this is very relevant for women,
especially in a workplace environment. Like if you are suddenly grieving and going through, you know, struggling with a miscarriage, You've never spoken about the fact that you are or might be pregnant or any.
Of these sorts of things.
But the first conversation you're having to have in a workplace environment could potentially be, oh, I'm actually having a miscarriage. I just think it adds to the stigma around it.
I definitely think it adds to the shame. And I do think that as a society, we're moving beyond that a little bit, but I think that it should be a case where if people want to talk about early pregnancy, we shouldn't have this like, oh, you don't speak about it, you might have a you know, it might not end well, and it should be like, Okay, well that's great knowing that it is a possibility, but still holding so much
space for like the excitement and the joy. And I say this because I remember when my sister told me she was pregnant, and she told me really early. I think she was only like maybe four or five weeks. I just found out like literally, you know Pete on the stick double lines, couse, you're so excited. And she called me, and my first reaction was a bit like, oh, you're not meant to tell me. I was quite young,
and I don't think I had realized. I think I was so conditioned by this twelve week rule thing that I was like worried for her if she had to tell me that something went wrong, because.
It almost is a rule without it being a rule.
That's how we grow up.
You can grow up knowing that when you hit the twelve week mark, you're happy to talk about it. Even when I'm trying to think about right now, I'm like, why do we have that rule? What are the repercussions of it? And it is shame, that's the default, right. It shamed you from saying, Hey, my body wasn't able to hold on to that, or maybe there's something wrong with me, and that's absolutely not the case.
Yeah, And I think for me, I didn't realize how common it was because it's so rarely spoken about, especially publicly, and so when it did happen to me, I thought that there was something wrong with me.
That's only place.
That's the first place your brain goes to, especially when it's happened twice, You're like, Okay, there's something wrong with my body and how it works. And it wasn't until doing more research and having more conversations with family and friends that I was like, oh, my good people who I'd never even suspected, family members I never even suspected who had gone through miscarriage all kind of stepped forward to was like, oh me too, like me too, Like
this happened to me. And I think it's only when you are someone who's been through it do you realize the volume of women who also experienced the same thing, which is why I think if you're pregnant, were firstly congratulations, But if you are pregnant in that early twelve weeks and you want to tell the people who you love and who are in your surrounding networks, like, I don't think that that's something that you should feel as though you have to keep to yourself, because the more we
talk about it, the more we normalize it, and it just means that something does go wrong.
It makes talking about that okay as well.
Absolutely, Now, Laura, I want you to dig deep into your past. Have you ever been broken up with in like a really messed up, unhinged way, or did you break.
Up with someone who No, because I dated a lot of men who cheated on me and stuff, and I just state so.
Like they probably tried to broke up. They're like it's over.
You're like, that's not.
Crist I prove it. I'm still here.
Why am I in your bed there?
Why a me in?
You'll cover it. I don't think I've been broken up within my house.
I haven't been broken up with it in an unhinged way. I've just stayed in unhinged relationships for a really long time.
All right, Mine technicality a little bit different.
So Eric Dane, and before you ask you, that is because I know you won't know.
Laura, but that's mixed steamy Gray's anatomy.
Explain it to me, really hot, doctor.
And for like our younger listeners that have no idea what Gray's Anatomy or mc steamy is, he's the dad out of Euphoria, so everyone knows Euphoria.
Yeah, I do actually know who this guy is, so like, I appreciate that.
Okay, thank you.
So he there's this story going around at the at the moment, and I want to say allegedly, So Eric Dane has been dating, allegedly his girlfriend Priya Jane. So Dane and Jane, that's how we're gonna call him. They were properly together, right, She was a huge part of his family. They spent the weekend together and then Eric Dane had to go to one of his own premiers.
So she didn't go. He's gone to the premiere.
She's watching where she sees him photographed on the red carpet with a new woman, Janelle Shirtcliffe. So she's just like at home, sees her partner in photos and on the red carpet debuting a new relationship. Okay, I'm sorry, but if your partner is going to the premiere of their own show and you weren't invited, surely that's a red flag that they're not with you anymore.
I mean I have questions.
I do have questions. But maybe he said no.
Maybe he said, like, you.
Know, partners, like it's a Christmas party, like they couldn't pay for pote.
I think this screams of he's tried to break up with her and she didn't take the clue, because like maybe he didn't do it as direct enough. But if it's weird that she's watching on his premiere and she had no clue and he just roped up.
I mean they have matching tattoos, which means it's pretty serious.
But they imagine if she just got the tattoo to match his, he already had it, and she's like, He's.
Like, this is hot together we.
Are Look I think if this is true, I mean, this man is fifty two years old.
To me, that just screams spineless. Like if you can't break up.
With someone and the way that you do it is by just like appearing with your new girlfriend.
Hope they get the hint. That seems like a really.
Really spineless way to manage a break up totally.
She did say that he never actually broke up with her, but give us a call. It got me thinking, there must be some unhinged ways you've been broken up with. I remember I was seeing this guy, same kind of thing. I think, like where you were basically together without it officially being together. I don't know that was my situation. We were properly together, we weren't seeing other people. It's like we've met each other's found How long had you.
Been dating for on and off for three years? Okay, it's a long time.
Yeah, but it was never like one hundred percent exclusive, do you know what I mean. It's like the assumption was there we did everything together, but it wasn't anyway. It was at his thirtieth birthday and I had helped him with like planning of stuff. I was there taking photos of the night. His family there as a family friend event, and I'll never forget it. I was literally had the camera, his family's camera, and I was taking photos of everyone across the dance floor.
And you thought you were his girlfriend at the time.
Yeah, So at his birthday. Yep, and then across the dance floor.
I looked over and he looked at me directly in the eye, locked eyes, and then made out with a girl in front of me.
She did not she did swear on my life.
I'm speechless. I am literally speechless. How old was man?
Was his thirtieth if you listen.
Finally, sorry, I just blamed because I honestly I can't believe it.
Yeah, and then I was like never, it was a big thing. I said, never call me again, don't contact me, and I unfollowed him on Instagram.
It was a whole thing.
I moved over.
Yeah, I moved overseas, brought a one way ticket, and then it went on for years.
He followed me around. He was like, I made a mistake.
I love you. Oh that's New York guy.
Yeah.
Oh nah, you didn't tell me that part of that story.
That is absolutely shocked her. I was like, guess this means we're not together.
He was like macking on with someone else at his birthday.
I think, like definitely, people have like found out from their friends, Like I have a girlfriend who found out that her partner was broke had broken up with her because he'd already told his mate that he was breaking up with her or had broken up, but it just hadn't filtered to her yet. So his mate was like, Oh, I'm so sorry about you and shame and it wasn't his name's not Damien. He was like, I'm so sorry about you, and Damien like, you know, I hope you're okay,
and she was like, what are you talking about. That's how she found out through the friend anyway, shocking.
Laura and I have been talking about unhinged ways you've been dumped, or like the weird and wonderful way you found out you were no longer in that relationship, beating war.
Do you I have?
The common theme to this is, though, is that it's when someone got just a chicken no, when someone's like too scared to actually say it to your face that they don't want to be with you anymore, so they just kind of do it in a roundabout way and you find out through a friend or you find out on Facebook.
Now I think we're giving them too much credit. I don't even think they're scared.
I just think they're jerk offs. But it was off the back of the actor Eric Dane if you.
Don't know who he is.
He is mixed steamy, everyone knows mixedee me, or he's a dad from euphoria the younger generation or no euphoria. But basically, he was in a seemingly in a relationship with this woman for a couple of years. She'd met the kids, they'd got like matching tattoos, they'd spent the weekend together, and then Eric went to his own like red carpet premiere.
Now I don't know why his partner didn't go.
But she's sitting at home, she's watching it go down, and she sees photos of Eric on the red carpet debuting another woman, and that is how she allegedly says she found out that she was dumped.
It feels fishy.
I'd still think it feels fishy, but we do have I mean producer grace. Yeah, she has a very own tailor as to how she got hectically dumped.
Speaking of fishy, I was dating this guy when I was a teenager, like eighteen nineteen, so.
Adult, so serious. Yeah, it was ver serious.
We're dating for like four months. I'd met his parents bet mine.
Nineteen and four months deep and meeting the parents that is serious, thank you.
It is serious. Anyway, we decided to go on a date to the aquarium.
That's not so serious.
He just didn't turn up and I never heard from him again. Wait, you've never spoken to the guy like he messaged me drunk once like four years later for what, just being like, hey heard you got into.
Radio, say sorry about the aquarium. He never mentioned that.
But it's one thing to go someone, right, you haven't turned up for a date, but you can't just never see them again.
No, literally, I was replying being like, hey, are you alive?
Did I do something?
What's going on?
And he just never But if you.
Were dating for four months and you met his family, why didn't you go to his house? Or you just like kind of a scaredy cat. So you just you just message his dad.
You're just too good. You just get better and better.
Hey, we've got Courtney on the lines. So Courtney, well we'll circle back to your grace. There's a lot to unpacking your story, Courtney. What was the unhinged way you got dumped? I received a Facebook invite Who's going away party announcing that he was moving into state. Oh my goodness, and you obviously weren't moving with him?
Did you go to the party?
Yeah?
Why was my revenge?
Though?
I stole showed him, Courtney, he couldn't see in the dark.
This is the gift that keeps on giving. I mean like there's other ways you could enact revenge. I feel like that is the that is the most g rated version of it. But I'm you sure showed him, thanks Courtney. Hey, Emily, what was the unhinged you got dumped?
My sister sent it to me on Instagram, but he'd already blocked me, and so she sent me the screenshot of him getting engaged?
What?
Yep?
And you what how long are you together for?
We were together on and off for five years? Yeah, so quite on and off, so you know, just like two and a half years together. Then I had six months off and then came back together. And yes, I couldn't see the engagement and helpment. He blocked me. So my sister screenshot it and sent it to me.
Wait, so you okay, you were still dating? What did you do? Did you contact the other girl?
Because clearly he was living a separate life at the same time.
I have sent her a message, So I've got to give credit where credits due. He planned it all out very well, so like we were texting and stuff, and then yeah, the day of the announcement, he blotched my phone number, blocks me on everything, and yeah, I think just hoping to never run into it again. We never have. I sent her a message and she never responded. I've seen that she's saying it and I know they're married.
Now, Wow, that is Oh god. I feel sorry for her. That's a real shame that was.
To end on because she could have you don't know, she could have known, or she does know now Emily told her and she.
I still feel like that's one of those situations. If that guy's that good at lying, he's probably led his way out of that situation as well. You know you're gonna you're gonna believe you put over some random chicky messages you on Instagram.
That's not true. I was that exact person. I was marrying someone who's marrying someone else. Simultaneously, I reached out to her. We both dumped his ass.
Yeah, we don't have trying to get into it.
So like now that Baro buttle, Oh well, I'm praying for some good love to come your way. Emily.
Oh thank you. I mean, I mean, I love myself. It's really like that FORUL.
That's all that matters, all right, guys, Well, that is it from us today.