FULL SHOW: Road Rage & The Reach Theory

Are you ready?

Good pick up with britt Hockley and Laura Burn.

Radio Work, Our Windows, My world, reason the dust only good, Babs all down.

I don't much, but yeah I'm not. I'll beget and what I want. It don't matter where rad This is the pickup.

It's that time again. It's the pickout with Brette Hockley and Laura Ben.

I have a question for you. Oh yeah, what is it?

If you could go to the future or go back in time, which one would you do?

Go get to the future, go to the future? Depends? Can I pick? How far back in time? Yeah? Okay, go back in time? How far? Not that far?

I'm getting real sentimental. I'd just spend some more time with my granddad.

Oh yeah, I would. That would be my That would be my pick. Go back in time?

Yeah, I think, yeah, you're no, because I'm like I just didn't expect such like wholesome senten.

It's making me like sad.

Yeah, if I could spend another day with my papa, would love that. That would be my favorite thing in the world.

All right, will you pass? What was a good answer? Thank you, Thank you so much. Hey, I have a question for you.

Why do you have seventeen different types of drinks on the side table.

Feeling a bit dehydrated today, I actually let me talk you through it.

I've got a protein shake, and then I have a leader of cordial flavored water. It's diet right, zero sugar because I just drink more water when it's flavored. Then I've got a sweet cappuccino, and then i have a Coke zero.

But they're all at various stages of being drunk. Like none of them have been drunk. The cokes had two SIPs out of the toe. I don't know what's going on here. I love liquids.

I love liquids, and I'm not order Apparently I often replace No, that's water, but it's got a flavor.

It's a cordial. It's water with a little bit of cordial in it.

We went from the sentimentals of the really trivial and it is time for Ask Uncut.

Now.

We do this every Thursday on our podcast Life Uncut, and it's where you guys, you call up, you send in your biggest, deep at darkest problems and Britta night. Even though we are very unqualified, we're extremely enthusiastic advice givers.

And we will give you up advice. I froth it. I love it.

I have a part the advice, giving all the problems, and also just like hearing other people's problems.

All right, well here's a good one. I've got a question for you.

Well it's from Jack and it has to do with road rage. Why don't we ask Jack what the question is. I'm just about to thank you Jack. Welcome to the show.

Hey guys, So I wanted to talk about my girlfriend, who, yeah, gets really bad road rage. Like I can kind of understand if someone like cuts you off in traffic or is driving aggressively or that kind of thing, but she'll just like lose her mind, Like if someone's driving a bit slowly or stupidly or whatever, she'll get really really angry, like really short fused, and like it's even gotten to the point where I can't drive with her in the passenger seat because she just gets so angry so quickly.

Because normal?

But it's unusual to get passenger road rage as well, Like quite often the road rage comes from the person in control.

Maybe she has control issues. Is this deeper than we think?

That's what it feels like. It feels like, why are you losing your mind? But like, is this an avenue for you to get angry at me? Is this about something else? And I don't really know how to even talk to her about it.

Has there been a specific incident that's like really kind of tipped it over the edge or so She's just always been angry in a car.

I think she's always been pretty angry. There was one time where she got out of a car when someone was driving pretty aggressively like that I could understand it.

No, No, you can't say that. You can understand it. She got out of the car. What did she do when she got out? Very dangerous?

I mean, she's not really like a yeller or she's not somebody that I would worry about getting into a physical fight or anything like that. But gets out of the car, starts walking towards the car that cut us off, and thankfully they drove off, So I don't know where that would have gone.

Well, question Jack, when you said she's always angry in the car, is she always angry full stop?

Like?

Is she angry in the house? Is she angry in the day to day?

Not really, which is why it feels like a bit of a red flag to me, Like it feels like, is this your placed event? Is this your place to like get angry at me about other things that you're afraid to talk about or something.

How long have you guys been together for three? Is is it escalating?

I mean in the car it is, but it isn't elsehere.

I mean I think it.

Depends what it is, right, Like, I don't think it's a red flag in terms of you need to break up, but maybe you just need to say to her, hey, look, you need to chill a bit, because when you're like this in the car, it gives me anxiety.

And when I'm driving and.

Trying to concentrate and you are losing it, like it's not good for anyone. But I think you just need to say put it back into you, like when you're in control. It's like, hey, this sends me over the edge of it and I'm trying to drive the car, like, let's just try and calm down.

I can't keep getting about it.

Take different means of travel. Just don't be in a car together. Take a car you can get the.

Bar so that's unrealistic. You're always going to drive in a car together. But if she's screaming about everything, what do you think is going to happen? When he says, get the bus, how's that going to go? You could get the bus.

I look, obviously a conversation needs to be had, but people can sometimes be very defensive when you try and let them know that they've got a certain behavior. If they don't see it in themselves, sometimes it's tricky for them to realize, actually it's not appropriate.

Laura, that was you didn't give any advice. I just didn't get the bars. No one's getting the bars. Jack is not getting the bus because his wife's angry.

Okay, wait, if you have one more question, Jack, are you're actually considering breaking up because of how angry she gets.

In the car?

I'm worried that, yes, it will cause a fracture in the relationship that won't be able to be repaired.

I think therapy is probably a good thing for maybe your partner to undergo, could.

Help get to the road.

Suggests in a safe place, pillows soft.

That's definitely that's definitely an inside the house chat that one.

Anyway, Good luck.

Jack, Thank you guys, you're.

So well good. We didn't know that we helped. He's like, thank you so much we gave. That's terrible. I don't know what you do with that.

If you just have someone who's so angry inside a car, we have to make them.

Believe that what they're doing is other people in danger.

Okay, Like I said, it just has to be like, hey, I need to concentrate. You can't be like throwing things out the window at people and yelling when I'm driving.

Well look, I mean feel like everybody experiences road rage to different levels, but that's extreme.

Yeah, we've seen you do it.

Laws Like, yeah, Laws, you know, I've got a pretty thick skin.

I know it's serious when you call me laws. Sometimes I do call you laws when it's a more serious chat. This is gonna be serious.

All right.

I'm glad we've strapped in for it strapping.

I'm a little bit exasperated, and I just want to have a little event for a minute. I've got a thick skin. Not a lot bothers me or gets under my skin. But I have just been getting the last couple of months, particularly so many messages and dms and comments on my Instagram about my relationship with my fiance Ben so if you don't know, my fiance lives in another country.

He lives in Italy.

He has been living overseas since the day we met, Like we have never lived together. The most time he's been together is probably six weeks, and we try to see each other every two months. I've been together for two and a half years, so it's it's been quite a long time and we're getting married soon. He also plays football, which I think has a stereotype attached to it. So when I say football, i'man soccer. But the number of messages I'm getting, especially since we're getting married in

And I'm just over it. Yes, I agree, my relationship.

Is very different. It is not a normal mainstream relationship. But why is that an issue for so many people?

But these messages come from people who you don't know and who, oh, yes, your relationship. These are from strangers on the internet.

It's not use he's cheating on yet I don't have a burner account everyone, It's not very you know.

The thing is is, I think people comment negatively when they see something that they can't understand because it wouldn't work for them, or because they've had a horrible experience themselves. Maybe they've been cheated on, maybe they have trust issues, maybe every relationship they've been in has ended in a way that all they can fathom is that surely that this is not something that could work out, do you know what I mean?

Like, they can't rationalize it.

And I think it's also part and pass so when you're when you have a public Instagram, we talk about the intriacies of our life a lot, and then you open it up to people's public opinions around it. I'm not saying that those opinions are warranted, and I'm not saying that they're allowed, like it's so unnecessary and deeply hurtful, but I think that that's why people think that they

I don't know.

I don't know why people think that that's something that they should be okay with saying.

Especially when it's like I come from a relationship of like pretty horrific, like a past a pretty horrific cheating. I was once with someone for quite a few years who had a double life. He was marrying someone else simultaneously. Obviously I didn't know that at the time. But when you come from a bit of a background of cheating and I don't have trust issues moving forward and.

Which not crazy, Like it is crazy that you have that track record of relationships and you've been able to go into a long distance relationship with like, yeah, I feel secure, But also I think it comes down to the relationship, Like I know the two of you well, and I see how you communicate, and I see how much effort the two of you put into making sure that when you have free time, it's spent together.

Yeah, you should see our phone bill. I should see your trifle bill. It's even worse that's way worse. But you know, I mean I experienced a version of this.

I remember when Matt and I met and we hadn't been together for that long when I got pregnant with my.

First, our first baby it's his true.

Malie, and we weren't engaged and we'd only just been living together for a little while, and there were loads of people online who couldn't fathom that our relationship would work out, and we're always like, you know, I'd get messages which was like give it a year, and I can't shut up, Brad literally Margaret, like I reckon. I would have received one of those sorts of messages a day, and now where eight years down the track, got another kid,

I think that's what it's a reflection of. Also, I'm getting married.

Let me be happy, let me be excited, Like I don't want to wake up every single day and have someone saying, hey, just so you know he's cheating on you. For sure, you're a moron if you think he's not doing the dirty. I'm like, if you knew my fiance he's at home watching cooking shows. I have his location. His favorite pastime is cooking shows. I can see everything he watches. We share a Netflix account, but that's legal.

It's very funny.

Instagram a trend that was going around, or Tim took trend that was going around, which was like, how I know my husband won't cheat on me? And it's just only the men like playing World of Warcraft.

It's what it is, being at home.

Doing knitting activities and stuff like.

That's Ben. But here's his cooking shows a hundred percent. Anyway, they just wanted to have a ranch, and I'm like, just let me live.

Have something for you. You live in a bit of clutter too. My girlfriend me, I went into your bathroom recently, and holy hell, this room needs to be cleaned out and cleared out.

Oh, you have.

Never seen so many products.

And I will say that it's a ludicrous It's a ludicrous mount of products.

And that's my spare bathroom.

Okay, so we're talking about clutter. Are you someone who lives amongst too many things? I think in this day and age, it's so easy to just acquire more things.

I'm not saying it's a good thing.

But you know, you walk into Kman and there's so many nice things and they're all so reasonably priced, and you walk out.

Of there with a trolley full of stuff you probably didn't need.

But I am someone who really struggles to throw things out, whether it's because I haven't used it yet, or it's sentimental, or I have multiple of the same thing, but I think I might use them at some time. And I'm really conscious about this because, like in my family, it's something that has kind of always been the case for past generations. My mum is someone who holds onto a

Yeah, but it's also hard, and I'm going to say this for a lot of people that might also live in a really small place. I have a really small apartment, so it doesn't take a lot for my house to feel cluttered or to feel overwhelmed because I don't.

Have a lot of space. I don't have a lot of storage. Yeah, I don't have a lot of rooms.

But it's also something that can happen as a bit of a slow creep, and especially like in the case of my family. My family home was never cluttered when I was a kid, like that wasn't a thing, but it's become more so over the years, and more so as things have become more sentimental.

Now.

What I wanted to talk about is something called the reach theory. So there was an article that was posted on Mom and mea a woman named Katie. She basically struggled with the same thing, trying to figure out what and how she should throw away and feeling paralyzed by the decision around it. We've all heard the Marie condo, you know, if it doesn't spark joy, throw it away. I think that that's also impractical, because not everything that you hold onto sparks joy sparks joy l has a purpose.

Katie has a different theory. This is the concept.

So when you're deciding whether or not you want to keep an item, if there's something that you're not sure about but you do think, okay, maybe I want to keep this. I'm not ready to get rid.

Of it, like I paid good money for it.

Yep.

All you've got to do is put it somewhere that's out of mind and out of sight. So put it in a box under the bed, in the wardrobe or something. Put it somewhere where it is completely out of reach and you're not thinking about it. After six months, if you haven't reached for it, that is your indication to

I don't know about that because that's come on, no, because that's only like a full season in Australia, six months like sometimes it's the changing weather hasn't even changed it.

If we're talking about clothes and shoes and stuff. I don't know. This is what I do, right.

I might not wear it for six months, but it's a great piece, so I'm like, one day, I am gonna wear that again. And sometimes two years goes past and I'll pull something out and be like, I knew I was gonna wear this again.

Yeah, but you wear it one time, but you've held onto it for two years in order to do it that one time.

I have clothes that are ten, fifteen years old. I hold on to clothes like there is no tomorrow.

This is true, but your wardrobe is no No one's is comparable if you out of control.

I actually have two full wardrobes out of control. But I'm not an over buyer or anything. It's just that I don't throw it out. So I don't actually buy a lot of clothes, but I hold on to them. I've got clothes from my mid twenties.

See.

I think the six month theory works because if you haven't used it in six months, it means you've already gotten through the season that you're currently in. So you're already halfway through summer, you're already halfway through spring. So if you've put it away, then it means you haven't needed it, so that you're now in a whole different

All they're sentimental.

I genuinely think that we get attached to stuff and it's not for the right reasons.

Absolutely we do. Yeah, right, I am a little bit motivated. I actually might go home and go through one of my cupboards.

If you did your bathroom, I reckon you could just ride all the expired stuff first.

I don't think it's expired.

I think I have a lot of haircare products, and I have a lot of makeup and skincare products. Yes, okay, fine, I'll go through my bathroom.

All right, guys, Well that is it from us today.