My heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen live on the Free iHeart app A good pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn. Bady your work, our windows down, My worldris in the dust.
Only good fabs are all down.
I've don't march, but yeah, I'm not our big get and what I want it don't matter where.
This is the pickup, Hi, guys, it's the pick up with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.
Interesting discussions in my household Laura.
Burn, Oh, okay, full name is Yeah, No, I just don't know how I feel about this. My husband Ben is here, he's still here from Switzerland, and I thought this was going to go down differently. I got an Aussie stable and I was so excited to give it to him. I went to the supermarket and I got a caramel Koala. You know the Cadbury Caramela Coalers. Yeah, that's what we grow up with. To me, probably one of the top notch chocolates. It's the perfo amount of milk, chocolate,
creamy caramel. It's in the shape of an Australian animal.
You can't beat it.
He was so unimpressed by it. That I don't know how we're going to continue the relationship.
I think it's fair because your husband's Swiss and that's where all the good chocolate comes from. So he's like, he's like, this is fatable because this belongs in a kid's lunchbox, which, to be fair, I.
Do like a caramel a kuala.
I'm not going to prepoo it, but it is a bit of a kid's chocolate. Once you have it again as an adult, you're like, oh, why is it a kid's chocolate because it's in the shape of a koala, But why does that make a kid It's definitely a kid's chocolate.
It's like the perfect thing that you put in a kid's lunchbox.
That and also a Fredo Frog. Yeah, no, Fredo Frog. I think a kid's Fredo Frog's are overrated. There's no caramel in the middle. You can't just have like a solid block. Nah, I'm all for them.
I I wouldn't say I'm in an argument now. I'm not in an argument with my husband.
He's just started doing something of a night time that he says he can't change. But it's only a new thing. He says he can't change it. It's keeping me up all night. I'm already dealing with pregnancy insomnia, and I don't know how.
To fix this.
Sleep talking, sleepwalking. I wish he was sleepwalking.
I wish you would sleep walk into the other room, go sleep in the other show.
Sleepwalk to another continent.
No. No, I love my husband Deally.
He's wonderful. But he does two things right. So, like, I get woken up a lot during the night. Firstly, like I said, pregnancy insomnia is really hard to deal with, so I'm just awake, lying there thinking about my own thoughts. Then also, we've got two kids who each of them might wake up once or twice during the night.
Yeah, that's fine. I can manage that.
What I can't manage is that now Matt has started and both of these things have started at the same time. Firstly, he sleeps with both elbows out like this, like he's trying to protect himself. So he sleeps with his hands by his face and his elbows directly out like little wing yep, So his elbows are looking me straight in the eye. So I get I get elbowed in the face several times a night. Interesting movesa really annoying right Okay,
but that's not the half of it. The new thing that he started to do, and I would love to know if anyone else's partner does this.
He just breathes, really really loud. No, it's full stop. He breathes. Well, that's what he says.
He's like, so now you're angry about me breathing whilst I'm asleep. But it's not just normal breathing. It's like he's playing a game of tennis. And I kid you not, this is it.
Ah, I know exactly the client you're talking about all through the note, but as a question, considering his unconscious what did you want him to do about that?
Okay, that's his defense.
That's that is kind of his defense mechanism, and that is also what he says.
But surely these things don't just start.
It's an age thing.
No, he just it's like the second his head hits the pillow, he starts with the paddle ball across howe, Yet it's age.
That's how I mean.
You answered your own question. Surely these things don't just start, but it has. It's just started. He's entered the next part of Life's seven Yeah, thirty seven, thirty seven gotta lax jaws. It's basically forty, which is basically.
Up with eighty. That's true.
No, forty is halfway.
Yeah, you know, I don't know.
I've heard a lot of mixed reviews about like mouth tape and things like that that help people sleep. Some people rave about it because if he can't then he has to breath out his nose. He's forced to, Like, he's not gonna wake up from it. He's not gonna die in his sleep because his mouth taped up. Maybe he could try some mouth tape and see if that helped. But outside of mouth tape, you're at a loss, mate.
He yeah, he got.
Really defense about it, and he was like, I'm sorry, I'll just go sleep in the other room, which I don't want him to do. I know that that's a solution, but I'm speaking that that was retorringable, Like I.
Like sleeping in the same bed as my partner.
I know for some people's relationship it works, but I think I would then I would feel bad and that's not gonna work well either. But I don't know how people, What do you do? Do I wear ear plugs? Do I tape his mouth? I don't know what to do about the chicken wings, and it's really causing some tension.
I'd be putting his arms down in his sleep, he's not gonna wake up. Just lower them down gently onto his lap.
Or I guess you could tie him.
Up, like just wrap him up in robes so he's Grace Protessa, Grace's face.
Just them was like right time in a little bow tied to the side of his body mouth, tape him up and then report back to us, let us know what he does.
I'm so excited for our guests on the show today, Laura Henshaw.
She's one half of the Absolute Empire that is Kick, which she hosts alongside and has started alongside Steph kless Smith. So we're talking like podcasting, fitness apps, they've got food, they've got so much in it. They're absolute juggernauts in the space. But we're not talking to Laura Henshaw about that today. We're talking to Laura Henshaw today because she has just announced she is in her second trimester of pregnancy. Now that might seem like everyone's like, Okay, cool, she's
having a baby. But I think what's interesting about this is last year Laura released a mini series like a podcast series titled Do I Want Kids, because she's always been on the cusp of trying to decide what is right for her, and she wanted to put out the pressures that people experience when they are trying to make this big, life changing decision. And I related heavily to that because I've always been in the same space.
Obviously, Laura has made the decision to have kids.
She's on the show today. Welcome Laura, and congratulations.
Hello, thank you so much, Laura.
Now that here are coming out of the trenches of the first trimester, how are you feeling.
Much much better now? The first trimester, I think as well, because you don't tell that many people, and also like it's obviously so early, the embryo is tiny. I felt so sick, and I also felt quite depressed, yes, which was it was a lot, a lot to take in, and I'd spoke to some friends about it and they kind of said, oh, I didn't feel that, and I was like, oh, my goodness, is something wrong with me? But anyway, now I'm out of the first trimester, I'm feeling alive again.
I mean, you never know as well, because obviously your hormones are going crazy. But do you do you wonder whether or had you guys made the decision, Were you like, yes, we're trying for kids, or were you still a point where you were kind of fluctuating between this yes and no feeling inside you.
So we had made the decision we wanted to have kids, but we were not trying.
It's very interesting. There's seen a lot.
Of conversation online about this, but you know, if I was having sex, therefore I was trying to have a child, Like people can, you know, say whatever they want to say and make judgment on that. But we weren't trying at the time. Like I was training for the London Marathon. I was literally like four weeks out from that. We had thought I had a laproscopy books in on the fifteenth of May, thinking that we had to like in Demitris is looking at that and kind of exploring a
few other things. So we definitely were not Yes, we were not trying at the time. So it was a very big surprise, but we had decided we did want to have kids.
What has the conversation been like off the back of doing a podcast series and been so openly vocal about the fact that you are unsure and then coming out saying you're pregnant, because I can imagine. I mean, I've seen a little bit of discourse around, which is a shame. But what do you want to say to those people? Because I feel like people are making it sound like once you've made a decision, you're not allowed to change your mind.
Yes, that's exactly exactly right, And I feel like both of you would relate to this so much. And it's not just with having kids on it having kids that there's so many other decisions. But it's been really interesting, and I don't I didn't expect a lot of people to listen to the whole podcast series, but a lot of people, I think, saw a few snippets and thought, oh,
you don't want to have kids. So a lot of the commentary has been, as you said, kind of saying, oh, like, didn't you not want to have kids five minutes ago? But I think while I didn't, we didn't change our mind, like we actually just genuinely didn't know when we made the decision that we did want to I think my biggest response to that is just that if we had changed our mind about a decision, that is life altering for us and affects no one outside of myself and
my husband. It is completely okay for us totally change our mind.
Yeah, but you know, I mean, the biggest thing I've learned throughout my mind the hood experience is that the people who are going to judge are going to judge anyway. The people who are going to have opinions on it are going to have opinions. And I think the reality is unless you kind of go into motherhood as this sacrificial land where your kids are every single thing that you've ever wanted and nothing else matters, there's always going
to be some criticism. Whether that's because you're a working mum or because you're still running businesses or you know, it's the juggle and the pressure on mums to do it perfectly is so much greater than the pressure on that.
But it's interesting that people have a go at you for taking your time to do your due diligence and work out what you really want, because if there's anything that you need to work out, if it's a yes or a no, it's having a life altering decision like having a child.
Oh one hundred percent, I think the other thing is And it was really interesting and exploring the mini series last year, a lot of women said this to me, and I think it was really awesome that they were honest. They said that they at the start really didn't like that I was doing this podcast series because they didn't
feel like they could make the choice for themselves. They felt, we know, there's so much like we live in a pernatal society, so much pressure on women like as our well I don't believe it's our purpose in society, but it is definitely a part of the kind of patriarchal belief system that we as women should bear children, and so a lot of women haven't felt like they could actually think about it and make that decision for themselves.
And so I think as well, sometimes when we see someone like actually thinking about it, that can be a way that we reaction. I totally understand that.
Well, I also think, I mean, for whatever reason, and it's obviously so deeply wrong, but there's a selfishness that's linked to it.
We assume that if you don't want to have kids.
Then there must be something about the life that you want to live that's inherently selfish. And it's just those two could not be further from the truth. But Laura, I saw something that you posted the other day, or it might have even been yesterday, and it was around when you I mean every influencer posts like the happy being on that you know, clear blue stick and the two double lines and crying, and it's all kind of like the same moment of happiness and joy. And I
resonated so much to what you posted. You shared the moment that you've discovered you were pregnant and your husband, Dalton was in the shower, and it was just a very real moment that wasn't wrapped up in the absolute joy. It was wrapped up in more I guess, shock, shock and surprise and processing. What was I like for you guys?
Oh yeah, And I mean, thank you for saying that. I mean, the funniest thing. I didn't even think about it, but everyone was like, why did your husband not get out of the shower?
I was feeling and he was naked.
He was also processing yakes.
But that's right, and I think that's the thing. I was like, we didn't have I can't actually remember if we even hugged that day, like I'm sure we did at some point, but it was in this beautiful emotional embrace. And it's really interesting that thinking about that moment of finding out if like that we were pregnant was actually a part of the reason that I thought that maybe I was undeserving of having children or I shouldn't because
I didn't think I was going to be emotional. And I'm really glad that I realized that that's no reason to decide to or not have kids. But the thing is, like for me, when I was shocked, I was in absolute shock. As I said, we weren't trying. Even if we were trying, I think it is always going to be a chockr and you're not necessarily going to respond in the way that you see online. And it's been it's been really interesting, like very much the same as your story. So many people wrote to me and said,
oh my goodness. I've always felt like something was wrong with me because I didn't cry when I found out. But I'm so happy and I loved my child, but I did I didn't feel emotional.
You know, Laura.
I mean there's one reaction, which is shocked. When I found out I was pregnant, I sat on the floor and cried, not out of happiness. It was not planned I'd not been with my partner for very long at the time. I was really worried about how he was going to respond to it, because we knew we wanted to have kids, but it was still early doors and like, yeah, I sat on that bathroom floor by myself and bawled my eyes out because my reaction to it wasn't elated joy of motherhood.
It was, oh, my god, what have I done well?
Laura's I loved your response, Laura, that was like so practical and pragmatic.
The first thing he said was like, can I still do the Lund Marathon.
Priorities? And you didn't do it?
And I remember you saying, what what what did you say? You said, something's happening with my mind?
I said I was tired, which is true.
You would have struggled in that first trimester, that's for sure.
But I think it's of course I.
That, like both you Lauras, are talking about the fact that it's it's not the way that everyone necessarily thinks it is, and maybe that your first impression isn't pure joy in happiness, but that doesn't take away from the fact that it's still something you.
Love and want totally.
And I think like, I mean, just in, I don't want to leave it with that. I start on the floor devastated and not round that one out. Becoming a mum has been the best thing that's ever happened to me, Like I could not love motherhood and being a mum to my beautiful girls more. And you know, I think that everyone has different reactions when they find out, and everyone processes pregnancy very differently, and that does has no indication on what type of mum you're.
Going to be, Amen Queen, it's so to true. I think it's amazing that you shared that because I've had so it also messages and people saying I cried of like sad tears because I was like, what's going to happen? Of fear, and I felt like I could never tell anyone that because I felt like it meant I didn't love my child, when obviously that is not the case at all.
What do you want to say to anyone listening that is maybe a bit undecided about whether they want to go down the journey of having kids, but they also feel the time crunch from the biological clock and the pressure asking for a friend as a thirty eight year.
Old old, oh, yeah, it's a killer. I think the first thing I would say is that the fact that you are thinking about it, and you mentioned this before, Britt, it is a life altering decision is so important that we put time into thinking about it. So the fact you were thinking about it is so so so amazing. Go on the journey. And also just take that pressure off yourself. I think when you feel the clock, it's like, oh my goodness, I have to make the decision. I
have to make the decision. But making the decision first for yourself that is the most important thing. And then you can look at Okay, what does this mean when we if you do decide you want to have kids, when we have to start trying, do we have to freeze our eggs?
It is We could not be more thrilled for you.
Congratulations, We were hooked. We can't wait to watch and follow and follow the pregnancy journey with you. No, we're just so exciteded for you. If you want to lie stream the birth or watch that.
As well, Thank you so much.
Guys. I have I have Marley May's birthday party this weekend.
With kids' birthday parties.
Big bit massive, especially for kids school because you know, you've got to invite all the school friends.
I actually haven't been invited to that.
Well, you're not a school friend. There's a bit more politics involved.
What am I?
I'm an auntie?
You are? But no, that auntie isn't coming.
It's like they get real specific when they get to school and they pick exactly who's coming.
So now she didn't invite me.
She play on as you were.
Marley's old enough to choose her friends now and you didn't make the cups.
So sorry, Britt, you can come over and why don't I take that?
So pers you can have a juice with me instead. But look, there is an Aussie mama who has absolutely divided followers online and also has received a lot of criticism for the very unconventional gift that she brings to kids' birthday parties.
Have listen to this, so you know, when you're at a kid's birthday party and everyone wants to help, but nobody knows how to help because they don't know any where any of the cleaning stuff is.
So I bring my bag of rags. I bring cleaning rags.
I like to bring dishwashing detergent because you can bet your boots that the parents of may have run out of dishwashing liquid. And the other thing I bring is a lot a lot of tea towels. So that's my presence for a kid's birthday party, A bag of rags. Does anyone else do like that?
No, but she doesn't get invited in many places, no one else does that.
Imagine that day. Here's a bag of rag.
Okay, I saw this. I have a sneaking suspicion she does.
Not want to be invited to kids birthday party?
Is that this is so funny?
She's put this in place so that she never gets invited to an six year old party again. She's like, I know what will deter these little kids from inviting me? A bag of rags, some dishwashing detergent, and some extra tea.
To look, let's.
Dig a little deeper here, let's give her the benefit of doubt. She does say that she doesn't like to bring gifts for kids that'll just end up in landfill.
So that is fair, Like a.
Lot of people can get better gifts, like some money in their trust fund.
Jane, don't give them something that will end up in landfills.
I don't know.
Maybe there's something in it. Maybe maybe the family has run out a detergent. If I run out a detergent and I was like, oh my god, where's the detergent? And then Jane was like, I brought some.
I'd be very grateful. Okay, I think you need.
To give something to the kid, lollibag, maybe like not a bag of rag.
Hear me.
I have complex feelings on this one, because firstly, it is so incredibly helpful, like we're having Molly's birthday at our house, and it is so helpful when some parents or you know, because usually now it's dropping go parties, right like, so the parents just come, they dump their kids, and then their kid free for two hours. I'm stuck with them all and then I got to clean up after them. So it's really nice when one or two parents like stick around, help with the.
Dishes, help clean up.
But I also think it would be very presumptuous to think that I don't have enough cleaning products in my own house to deal with the party that I chose to put on.
In my home.
To be fair, I've never been to your house where there's been a toilet roll, like it's always empty.
So I'm wiping dishes with toilet paper. Well, who knows.
You do let a lot of things run out and not replace them, so.
You're like, what are you wiping your butt with them? Tea towels? Obviously we have so many bath house No, but I don't know.
I mean, part of me is like I understand the sentiment, but I do think it's a little bit too grown up to be showing up to a kid's birthday party and being like, you know what, nothing for the kids, just a bit of morning Fresh and a bag of rags. Like it's actually people went crazy online.
Yeah, it's actually if we break this down, she's doing a good thing.
But you need where she goes wrong is not giving anything for the kids. She's actually doing wonders Like.
Imagine if someone turned up to your house and I'm like, yes, I've got all the cleaning stuff. I'm going to help you clean, you would be like, oh my god, thank god, especially if you have dirty kids. Over where she loses her audiences by giving a bag of rags to the six year old.
That's where like she's lost.
I'm glad we really unpacked that and got down to the nitty GrITT. If anyone wants to come on the weekend. I'll send you my address. You can come with a bag of rags and some morning fast.
I'm ready.
You're inviting other people now, but I don't have an invite. Okay, cool, guys.
Well, I have a great have a great party, Miley May and Laura. I hope you have a lot of dishes and nothing to ape up with.
Alright. Well, that is it from us, guys.