FULL SHOW: Is it every okay to publicly out a cheater?

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Good Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn. Brady your worth, our windows down. That's my worries in the dust. Only good fabs are all down.

I don't much, but yeah, I'll big get and what I want.

It don't matter where.

This is the picker, Hi guys, it's Britt hopefully and Laura Burn and the pick up and it's hump Day.

It is humped age.

You know what, though, I feel like this is kind of exciting news in my life.

Probably no one else cares about it. I don't care. I care, and probably four other people at least at least people in my immediate family care about this. What's going on.

We've been we've been really tossing up baby names, like what we should call this new baby, and we've not been able to decide on it.

We talked about it the other week, how I.

Threw out some names with my friends and family and we've got a lot of knocked back.

Put it that way, So have you come to terms with one?

With you and Matt, we already kind of had settled on the first name. We're both pretty unanimously really like one of the names that had been in the mix.

So that's the name that we've settled on. Ok where a hundred where a Hundi baby?

Like what if it's born and then all of a sudden it doesn't look like the name you've locked in.

Nah. I know some people talk about that, but I find that odd because all babies kind of look a bit weird, like no babies, no babies shoot out and you're like, that looks like a David, But then when they're a grown up man, they might.

Look like a David. Oh yeah, I don't know.

I guess I've never had a baby.

I don't know.

Okay, so we've picked a name, and we've always picked names before birth.

I know people do it different, any clues, like mainstream different, Like where would you place it in the.

I think a little bit old fashion kind of like so Marley is a bit old fashioned, Lola is a little bit old fashioned. It's kuldbig Daphne, but it's not. No, we didn't know what to do for a middle name. We haven't been out to decide because we've already used all of the sentimental family names and our other kids, so now we're at the bottom of the barrel when

Just keep it in mind to all of those listening there. Five and four, five and four.

They came up with a middle name that and I both thought it was very sweet. We liked it.

It flows really nicely with the first name. But then we discovered it's actually a Disney character. Okay, so all right, interesting Disney process.

Disney, there's yeah, there's your clue, don't old.

I was trying to think of one, and I just the first thing came to away was black white, and I was like, that's not it.

So right, yeah, but no, I don't know what. It's been a while since I've watched Disney, I must admit.

Anyway, Look, we've picked a middle name, we picked a first name, and then you know, she's just gonna be a Johnson, run of the mill once again, be the only burn in the family.

Okay, I can't wait to hear all about that.

We had quite a big conversation our podcast this week Life on Cut podcast.

And also privately.

Yeah, and it's well, I mean, as two people who are not only co hosting together, like we asked such good friends and a conversation we've had to navigate recently was me telling you that I was pregnant with number three and to kind of like let you guys in on our friendship over the last six years. Like Britta and I, we've been so entwined in each other's lives for the last six years.

I see britt more than I see in my husband.

And evidence of that is the fact that, like for baby number one and baby number two, and also for the two miscarriages that I've had in between, Britt, as one of my best friends, was the first person I told that I was pregnant. She was also the first person I told when I was going through miscarriages, even before I told my husband.

And something about it's a bit of a flex. I know, I love it, like I'm like, yeah, I'm the number one.

Let me tell you, I don't think Matt loves it as much as you don't.

One, No, I also get that.

I get that, but you know there's been a big gap between my last baby and this pregnancy, and a lot of things have happened and changed in your life, brit You've been through your own fertility struggles. You frozen eggs, you've frozen embryos, You've had your own negative pregnancy tests at a time when I'm sure you were hopeful that

And and I obviously had our conversations in private before we had them on the podcast Life on Card.

Well, that's the thing, like we often do everything with Mike's on because it's nice to get everyone's like real reaction to.

Something, but not this kind of stuff. Yeah, and I didn't know what that reaction would be.

Of course, my first overwhelming feeling was happiness and excitement.

Sadness didn't even end to my brain like there were tears as well.

It came later, for sure, and you feel it. But this is why I say you can feel two things at once, because I would hate And this was something that we did talk about.

Laura.

You said that you had almost a level of anxiety about telling me because you know that is going to come with a whole bunch of feelings that are nobody's fault, not mine and not yours, but they're still going to be present. When I heard how much you would, I don't want to say struggling to.

Have the conversation. That hurt me even more.

And I'm not saying I'm not blaming that on you, but me thinking, oh my god, my friends don't even feel like they can tell me their most exciting I hate that, and I never want my friends to feel like anything I'm going through means that they can't have that conversation with me.

It doesn't mean I'm not gonna have.

All the big feelings totally, but it almost in a way can isolate that person even more, Like I don't feel like I can come to you anymore is something in a friendship that is also really hard to hear. And I know that you're not saying you don't feel like you can come to me, And it's so important that you do consider your friends feelings like you did. I definitely think you did it the right way.

I guess for me as well.

And it's a unique situation because obviously we work together and we are very very close friends. People do talk about third baby a bit differently to first and second. Yeah, first and second, I think is often met with excitement and third is met with a bit of like, what are you doing?

And so I.

Definitely felt as though I had to be more conscious around how I navigated third pregnancy conversations, even from like a work perspective, because I was like a working I think I take my job seriously when I'm just out here pumping up babies at the same time. But I agree completely with everything you said, Britt. I also think that there's another feeling that comes into play with these commons, and it's from my side or from the person who

Yeah, and it's a tricky conversation to have with your friends, especially if there is someone that has been going through it for years. And we also had this a really brilliant conversation on Life un Cut podcast with Tania Hennessy, So if you guys want to listen to that, she speaks so openly about it and so beautifully about it.

But navigating is really tricky.

But what I will say is something being a hard conversation doesn't mean you shouldn't have it. It just means you treat it with a little bit more care. But absolutely, yeah, remember it's okay to have all these feelings all at once.

If you ask someone who is struggling with this at the moment, or you're going through it in your own friendship group, you might want to go and give the episode a listen. You can just search Life on cart wherever you listen to your podcasts, because there's a bigger conversation about that right there, Laura, I.

Have a question for you. We talk a.

Lot about cheating here and on our podcast Life Uncut in terms of all different kinds of relationships and infidelity, and I want to know, do you think there's ever a time it's okay to publicly humiliate somebody off the back of infidelity, which I know seems like an obvious answer.

Cheating is like.

The one thing that, like nothing riles people up in when it comes to relationships as much as the conversation around cheating does. Do I think it's okay to publicly humiliate them? No, I think it makes you a bit petty.

Of course, but there's something for me that doesn't sit right with the idea of public humiliation.

Ever.

I don't know why whatever even is done, there's something that when I see it go down, I just really feel for them, even if they've done the wrong thing.

This is exactly what has happened in this story online.

There's a husband that found out that his wife was cheating on him, and it was his fortieth birth day party. So we had this huge party with like family and friends, and he got up to do his speech, you know, like thank you for coming blah blah blah blah. Yeah, Basically, he had known his partner was cheating on him, so he saved it for this moment. He calls her up on stage and he makes it look like he's doing this beautiful thank you and he has a gift to her and how important she is.

And all this stuff.

He gets her to take a wedding ring off because he alludes to the fact that, you know, she deserves an upgrade. He plans the kiss of death on her. He basically kisses her like quite firmly and strongly. But the kiss of death is this idea. It's like in the it's like a mafia thing. Whence a mafia person finds out that someone has betrayed them, they give them what they call the kiss of death, which means like, I know you've betrayed me and something's about to happen.

After even though it's get her.

A little song, right, yeah, I know everything, I know everybody, and.

I wasn't.

He sounds terrific.

He goes on to say like he's seen some sexy things, he's seen some body parts.

He starts to go like crazy at her.

The video goes so much longer than that, but he's basically just staying in front of everyone humiliating her even though she's done the wrong thing obviously, but the fact that this was so premeditated to save it for a public moment get her up Lula.

Into a false sense of security that he's gonna like say she's amazing and then go oh, he sounds nah.

I think like listening to that, he sounds so aggressive and sounds truly horrible. And I guess, like I understand that if you've been cheated on, your hurt and you probably won't to have a big reaction everything, But I don't know. I think listening to that, like you almost come across as the villain yourself.

You come across so petty.

I mean, I've definitely heard of like people standing at the altar and waiting until it was time to do their vows. And that was the opportunity that they took to you know, tell everyone, the family, the friends, everyone who's there, to tell them that actually their partner had been cheating on them. But we actually received a message which is you know, to the pickup, which is kind

The senior executive was a woman, mind you.

The husband of the exec used her phone to send an email to leak their affair and the email was sent to the entire hospital staff.

Every single hospital staff.

Thousands of people received the email from her saying this is what I've done and this is like the person I'm doing with.

It was like was written by her, It was written by the husband.

It was written well, actually there's a bit more detail to this. It was written by the husband and it was saying, like just letting you all know what they've been doing.

They're supposed to be on working hours. How humiliating. Look, But then is that okay.

No, I don't think any of it's okay. But at the same time, I also understand it. I do understand why someone could be so hurt and feel so betrayed that they act in a way that's so not congruent with how they would normally behave because they just want everyone to know what an awful person their partner's been. Do I actually think it's okay? Would I ever do it?

No?

I think it's totally petty, But I also understand why some people feel that's the only option to enact some sort of revenge.

I remember when my ex many moons ago. Now I was living his double life and he was marrying someone else simultaneously, like complete double life. But I remember when I found out, all I wanted to do was out him to everyone I knew, like I wanted to humiliate him, but I didn't have it in me. So all I could bring myself to do was steal all his toilet paper from his house, and next time we did a poop, he didn't.

Have anything to wipe his butt. Actually, I don't even think that touched the side. Literally it didn't, and that's I don't think he can. No, he didn't, he would have just had a shower.

Now, Britt, I feel like I have spoken about Lola so much recently for anyone who doesn't know as new to the show, Lola is my four year old.

She is also just a wild cat. She's the personality higher of the family.

She is.

I've gotten in trouble from saying that she is the personality higher of the family.

She is.

She comes out with the funniest things. She's just a little character. She's hard to maintain and control, and I love that about her.

I love her little feisty spirit. If she was an animal, what joking should be like a mere cat, That's what I thought too in my head, but.

One that screams. I don't know if mea cats make much noise. I feel like they just are quite meek. No, they make sounds.

One of them has to stand up on the little hill and it keeps an eye out for predators, and then it makes.

A sound to all the other mea cats to hide.

Maybe Lola's like a cross between a mere cat and a chimpanzee.

I'm pretty sure that's what she done.

So Lola, recently, we've worked really hard on getting her sleeping in her own bed. This year was also like the year that we took the dummy away. Like, we've had some big progress over the last couple of months with Lola going from like giving up the things that she was so attached to as like a little kid, to really her vices.

We've got her off the dummyady. She's not smoking anymore.

She's not she's not doing the babe nothing like. She's come good. She's come clean.

That great.

So we've done leaps and bounds, so I thought we had. We've had a little small regression, small which was except kind of embarrassing.

I'm trying to think which it is the dummy regress for a bit. But I think you're back on.

Track, back on track, We're back on trackeeping. So you guys might remember quite a while back I talked about how Lola went through a phase she was about two and a half to three. It went on for far longer than I ever wish on anybody where she would wear underwear on her head.

Oh that was my favorite Lola era.

So she was convinced that underwear was a hat, underwear was made for outside wears if she wasn't wearing it a hat like on her head. She would wear it over her pants, so she'd put underwear on Superman, then she would put her leggings on, and then she would put underwear over her leggings.

I that was still a vibe. That's actually very fashionable right now. But the undies on her head was my fave.

We flew to Darwin, We got in the car, we drove from the car to the airport, from the airport.

Through the security, we got on a flight.

We flew all the way there and she had a pair of undies on her head the entire way.

What happens if you take them off like screw like meltdown.

She just put them back on. She's just like like, there's no taking them off her. She's absolutely not going.

To have that.

Or she used to pack extra ones, so like you go on a trip or a car trip, she'd have a handbag. You'd open the handbag and it'd just be seven pairs of undy.

Smart girl.

So anyway, look, it's just started again. And I don't know what happens. I don't know how she rediscovered it, But have a listen to this.

You've got two pairs on your bomb. She's got a pair on her head, a yellow pair on her head.

She's got one pair that she's wrapped around her knees so she can't even walk properly. And she has three pairs on a butt Like she isn't weird?

I don't. I don't get it because she hang on up looking at a photo.

Oh my actual god, she looks insane. You're ware, that's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

No, So then she went upstairs and then she got another two pairs of undies and made this really cute crossover top out of two additional pairs of undies.

I was like, that is a fashionista.

What she's going to start making things out of recycled undies? That's not I don't know if that's a brand anyone wants to buy in on.

In a weird Oh, now she's smashing down a lego house in her There's a lot going on here. So what do you do? You're just gonna lean in. She goes to school next year. I think I don't know half that. I'm like, like, I love that she's just this wild.

Little unique human, but the other half of me is like, I can't let them go to school with undies.

On it. No school's hard.

Enough, but she has I don't know if this matters in this situation, but she does have them all on back to front and inside out, like they're all the tags are on the front and that you're a sign.

Well do we judge her on that? I don't know if that's the least of you worried.

Wait, look at Okay, When I said that she made a top out of it, that's what it escalated to.

Sorry, that's cool. That actually looks really cool.

I think I've got a top similar this, Okay, And I cannot tell you the World War III because I wouldn't let her leave the house and go to the cafe dress like this. This is what I'm dealing with now, and I feel like she just does these things. She'll be middle child, and she was put on this earth to test me.

Maybe it'll change when she's middle card.

Maybe it's maybe it's a little child thing, and now she's not gonna be a little child anymore.

I don't know.