A good pickup with Britt Hogley and Laura ben Rady.
Your worth, our windows done, my world reason the dust only good, bab I don't much, but yeah, our.
Big get and what I want It don't matter where. This is the pick up.
Hi, guys, it's the pick up with Bread Halfley and Laura Ben.
Happy Thursday, one day away from the big V day.
Oh yeah? Do you know what else?
It's one day closer towards your husband returning.
I'm Joe.
I feel like all I have done for the last four weeks is talk about my husband, Matthew Johnson. If you're not aware, he's currently in the I'm Celebrity Jungle.
What is he?
Yeah?
Did you not know? Go vote on ten play everyone to vote.
He's been away for so long. But also, so I live with Matt's mum. Well, actually that's not that you. Matt's mum moved in with us about a year ago, and so I lived with my mother in law and we have had four weeks of just hanging out, the two of us with the kids. And recently we were chatting and I was like, do you feel like you miss.
Matt at all?
And she was like, oh, I don't really miss him. She's like, we're having a great time. We have everything under control. And I thought that was really cute. I thought it was cute that now like Matt's mum and I are really we're like bessies.
We brow down.
So you've like knuckled him out, nudged you out.
I don't need him. I'm just raising children alongside my mother in law. My husband's gone, he's never coming back.
You're tried wifing now with his mom.
No, I'm not tad wife. Actually, to be fair, Ellie does the trad wifing. She's she was an angel. I come home and dinner is cooked and the cow's been milked out.
I just sit on the couch and I'm like, when's it ready?
Now that's not true. Hey, we have a really big show for you coming up. We haven't asked guncut today. That I think is very relatable. What do you do when you're in the honeymoon phase, like where it's all sexy and steamy, you need to go away together on a holiday for a couple of weeks and you've only got one toilet mate.
I have a story about that. Oh, I can't wait. Something happened to me.
Funnily enough, we were in Africa, but it was horrifying, horrifying.
Well, it is time for my favorite segment. This is ask gun Cut. We do it every single week on our podcast Life on Cup podcast. Were you guys riding? Or you call up with your deepest, darkest burning questions and we do our best to answer them. Now, in the spirit of it being Valentine's Day tomorrow, we thought we would do a relationship based question, maybe not so romantic because it's about travel and poop. Amy, Beautiful, Amy, Welcome to the pickup.
Thank you guys.
What's your hia.
I've been with my partner for fifteen months. We don't live together, but we're going to New York next month. We're going to be together for almost two weeks, and I've never pooed while he's been with me, farted in front of him. So I've started to get really anxious because the time's coming around really quick, and I don't know what to do.
Do you know what they say, Amy, holidays are all about discovering new experiences together, and you guys are going to discover that's for sure.
If seen months is a long time to have been holding a poo in I'm actually.
I'm sure she's been to the toilet in that time.
Britt No, I'm actually more impressed with the control that she's got of her bowels. Like if you're saying, oh, I'm just not going to do it while I'm with him, I don't have that control, like when it comes for me, I just need to go. So that's pretty impressive.
Amy.
Have you looked at the accommodation that you guys are staying in while you're away, like you know how sometimes you can go and it's like a glassroom or a glass door, or have you looked at like the circumstances of the toilet bathroom area I have.
It's right outside the bedroom and it's a tiny, tiny apartment.
Horrify.
No, I know what to do here. I know what to do. I had to travel for many months with a partner and it was we weren't together that long. You just have to own the fact that everyone poops. But this is what you say, Hey, I've got to go to the bathroom. Can you put on some music? He puts his headphones in, puts his music on. You go do your business, because you're only human. He knows you've got a poop, or you ask him to leave, to leave the apartment. However, many minutes and days.
Amy, can I tell you a horrifying story which is just absolutely not going to make you feel any better, but it is relevant. When I had just started dating mad, we'd only been together for six months, we traveled over to South Africa together for a holiday and we were staying in a hotel. And do not ask me why they thought that this was a good design concept. But the bathroom, the toilet was a glass frosted box.
Like the whole thing was a glass box.
Common I had the worst food poisoning I have ever had in my entire life. And it hit me at midnight, and I was pantless and topless and it was coming out both ends, and the poor man had to sit in bed and he could just see the outline of me in a non contained glass box.
It was horrifying. And look at us now only upwards from there.
And remember you do love me.
I was no, do you know what happened?
I was like, get out, and the poor thing had to sit outside in the.
Dark, in the middle of the mind. It's so funny.
You just reminded me when I went to the Valdis with my fiance Ben. Oh god, instead of being in a instead of being in a glass box. The whole floor is glass. So if one's on the toilet and one just swims underneath the bungalow because it's an over one a bungalow, you just look straight up. I'm on the toilet benchously scooting pass with snorkel on.
Who's just signing these holiday houses? Amy, trust us, You're going to be fine. And you know what's even better than that, it's that you have just won one thousand dollars to spend with Jetstar Holidays.
Oh really, you're so.
Welcome to upgrade your hotel.
You hopefully can get one.
I have to get over the poofia this trip then, because yeah, you definitely have to go to be coming with me next time.
Do you know we did.
I'm sorry, we didn't actually even give you any advice. Just own it, everyone, poobs, it's just put some headphones in, ask him to go out, but own the fact. Just be like, hey, I gotta go the toilet. You me, fine, got two options, leave the room or put your headphones in.
You're gonna be fine, it's gonna make either make or break the relationship.
And I think it's going to be a good thing for you guys.
Oh I hope. So like, yeah, I just have to get over it. It's a normal thing, and just yeah, remind myself that, Yeah, it's more prins in. That's going to be, yeah, the easiest way.
And a little perfume to spray around after.
Oh yes, we'll get that some of that beauty.
Free saying Samy, Okay, I need to give you an update on the spider infestation in my house. To cut a very complicated long story short, I moved into Laura's old apartment now Laura while she was living there, had when I say infestation of Huntsman's that's using the term lightly. There was one day where like fifty of them crawled out from behind your TV, didn't they It.
Was horrifying, and at that point I was like, I will burn this apartment down. No, actually, in fact, I will move out, And for.
Some reason, you were like, I will come and live here. This looks great. I'll get a discount.
So I've been seeing them everywhere I can horrify. Yeah, I cannot get rid of them. They've been having sex next to my face in bed. No that we talked about that on radio a couple of weeks ago.
Thank you.
I know it's still burned to my retinas. I don't need to revisit it.
Well, actually we don't know if they were fornicating or eating each other. I can't be sure. So anyway, moving forward, they've been They're scary when you see them. Last night, I was like, went to my bedroom cupboard, was on FaceTime to Ben. Opened the door of my cupboard to get something out of my clothes really fast. Wasn't paying attention to put my hand in there is the biggest thing you've ever seen. Look at the size of this. It's the size of a dinner plate.
Oh my god, do you think that's a huntsman?
Or is that something that'll kill you?
I'm going to die. It's the biggest thing I've ever seen. It doesn't look like any huntsman I've seen. It looks like it could be a funnel web. I think it's a bird eating spider.
It's not a burning spider. That's what it is.
I've absolutely lost the plot. Ben's gone into panic mode now, Ben, my fiancee, He's Swiss and he's petrified.
How did he even know he's on the other side of the world.
I'm on FaceTime to him happy in live. So I started screaming and he thought I was being attacked. He's like, do I need to call the police? And I'm like, maybe maybe we need to burn his house down. Anyway, they are going to be people that don't like this. But I did kill the spider.
I can't kill the spider, Brittany or right.
If that it gets on my face, I'm dead. Look, oh okay, next time, I'll call you over to save it. How about that?
I will. I'm very big on getting like a plastic container.
In your case, it would have had to have been a top topwear container big.
Enough to fit a lamb roast.
I'm like, I'm very big on like getting a TopWare container and sliding the paper underneath and then letting it out into the guard.
Is that what you did with your fifty huntsmen infestation.
And then they all came back.
The thing I'm more worried about for you, though, is because, like so to set the context, Ben lives overseas.
He's from a place where the only thing that you have his cows like.
He's not used to being around any type of insects or spiders or anything, and understandably so he has a deep phobia of it. And so anytime he comes to Australia to visit you, Britt, it's his one thing. It's his one reason why he says he's not going to move here.
Oh he's petrified anyway. So I woke up this morning and bless his soul, my fiancee Ben, He's like, morning, babe, I didn't sleep last night and I've spent some time doing some research and I was like, what he's like, it could be a trapdoor, but I'm not convinced. The shape of the body is the same.
It's not a trap door. It's just a huntsman. So anyway, really big one that eats people. He's the one that has lost sleep.
I went to bed. I was fine.
He's like, I've contacted a wildlife specialist and I was like, surely this is a joke. So two years ago Ben in Australia met out a friend of the pickup. He's a wildlife specialist from a sanctuary. His name is also Ben. Fiance Ben met wildlife.
Ben and they became best Ben's and they're best friends.
Now they're Ben and Ben are best friends, and so my fiancee Ben contacted in the middle of the night contacted Wildlife Ben. He sent him the photo and I was like, what do you mean you've contacted wildlife Ben. I was so embarrassed, and he goes, Hi, Ben, I hope you've been well. Quick question what the hell is this? He sends him the photo. Wildlife Ben says, ha ha, oh my god, don't worry. I think it's just a massive huntsman. Not dangerous, but not something you want in
your closet. My fiance Ben said, I don't want to question your expertise. I believe you, believe you are very well trained, but that is bigger than anything I have ever seen. I don't think that's a huntsman. So now my Ben is questioning wildlife Ben's specialty.
I think he should just yeah give up at this point.
Well, Wildlife Ben has said that it is so big, like the biggest thing you've ever seen, that he's pretty sure it's been living in there with a family and now it has had babies. What do I do? My whole wardrobe has baby huntsmens through it.
It's time to burn it down and move now.
I'm serious.
Sorry, it's only options. I have burned my homeless everyone. That's gonna be the next Daily Mail headline.
Because do you know how spiders have babies? They don't have one baby. They hatch like a hundred eggs, and then all the babies grow on their back and then they climb out into the wardrobe.
They grow on their back.
Yeah, yeah, they run off their back. They live on their back. I think I think that's true.
This sounds horrifying. Also this, do you know what?
We need to make a new segment of all of the absolutely made up facts that Brittany comes up with.
So it's truth.
Grace produce to Grace. Spiders carry their babies on their backs.
They don't. They absolutely don't.
Brute no, they do. I'm googling it.
Now, that's like a dark you're thinking of darks. So, bro, look at this.
That's a wolf spider. That's not sorry, there is a hundred spiders on this spider's back.
Please stop showing everyone in the studio trying to solicit support for this.
That's making me feel on well all.
Right, well, look, it's currently homeless if you have a place for her to live, she would really appreciate.
You can send it into the pick up.
Now, there was a research study that came out recently and an article which I read on The Guardian. I found this so interesting. So it turns out that on average, everybody spends one hour a day gossiping. And apparently everyone does it because I believe that, yeah, I do too, but also that whole adage that like gossip thing is only for small minds, which I would love to believe that we're all above it, but I think we all do it in different ways.
I think the thing is I do not know one person that doesn't gossip. But I think the thing is people don't think that they gossip, and they cover it as like their fane. It's concerned. They're like, I'm just telling you this because I'm so concerned about this person. Like people put this cape over gossip because it's got such a negative connotation. But everyone does it. It's just how you deliver it, and different people do it in different ways. Like they can be like high end, top notch.
Positive end gossip, positive gossip, or there.
Can be you just being like an absolute mole.
Yeah, but also I mean, I find this interesting because it's something that is very very gendered, and I think women we have kind of bore the brunt of being the gender that does the gossiping. But I would debate that just as much as like maybe we talk about friends, or we talk about families, or we talk about dating, like we're probably more social gossipers in that way. Sometimes, like I would say that men do it equally as much.
Maybe it's not about the same things necessarily, but they do it within their groups, around the girls that they're dating, or around what's happening at work, or what's happening with their bosses or their employers, like we all do it
to some extent. The thing that was interesting about this article was that it is like how you do it as to whether it can be a positive thing or a negative thing, because it actually is something that can bind relationships, it's something that can create connectedness, but you have to do it in a way where you're not just like going out there and using it like a spattergarten to absolutely derail and put down the people that you're talking about.
It's so funny that you say that, like men gossip as well. I have in the last years since I've been on my health journey and I'm really on the sauna train. I cannot tell you the gossip that goes on in those saunas by men. So I'll sometimes sit in the corner, because it's like a unisex sauna, right, I'll go in with my headphones in and I'll sit in the corner. Men will come in like friends. I mean, they think that I've got my headphones in. I do, but sometimes I press pause on what I'm playing and
I just listen to their gossip. Their version is like talking about someone that didn't do the workout properly, or like do you see he definitely like he definitely skipped his reps, or like he said he was going to this competition. I was like, he's never gonna do well there. He shouldn't be like things like that. They're talking about girls they're dating, they're talking about like it's wild. But one hundred percent men gossip just as much, but I think they deliver it differently.
Maybe it's not even the way that deliver it's also just like the perception around it, like it's not seen. Maybe it's because we don't label it that way. One of the things that was raised, which I thought was really fascinating, is that gossip has a greater currency for women, so like in the past and like historically it has been a useful tool to help to protect us. Maybe we talk about the men that are not, you know, trustworthy or right to be dating, or talk about different
things that are happening that are relationship based. I think that that's kind of what we do as women, where we really sort of focus on relationship talk and how like we're connected to the people around us. I don't know, I find it fascinating because I'm like, we always give it a very bad rap, and we all know that one person who's like the office gossip the gossip friend who kind of just shares their business with everyone, like they don't have any filter when it comes to who
they share it with. They'll share it with anyone, and they will speak badly about people without really considering the consequences. And the flip side of this is that they're saying, if you're going to talk and you're gonna gossip, also be very mindful about doing the opposite of that, which is like sharing the good things about people too. So even though gossiping can be a negative aspect, making sure that when you're doing it, you're also gossiping about the good and the people as well well.
A professor at Durham University, Maria Kakaka She says that you yes, she did, Yes she did, Kakaika, she knows what's up. She said that you need to start practicing positive gossip, which I think is amazing, but I think it's way harder to do. Positive gossip is complementing people behind their backs or recounting their good deeds to someone else, which I think is really important. But as humans, we're more trained to negatively gear well, we're more trained to
want to vent and get something off our chest. It's like the same as you leave a review for a restaurant. You want to go and leave the negative review, but you don't leave and think I'm going to go and write like that pastor was the best pastor I've eaten.
I think that complaining really connects people as well, because you have like a common enemy to bondover.
It's the same thing in relationships. Right when you want to go invent to your friends, you'll talk about the argument.
But he or bet he's not he's great.
Yeah, and you don't often say such and such did this for me last night? Isn't he the best? Because you like people don't want to hear that.
Yeah, totally agree. Well, fascinated.
Anyway, you're all going to gossip anyway statistically, so why don't you try and do some good gossip as well.
So if you're going to talk about us right now on this, please make it great. Well, that's it from us, Should we go.
That's the end of the show.
Guys,