FULL SHOW: Finding The One & Gender Disappointment

Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen live on the Free iHeart app A good Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn Radio.

What our windows down?

That's my world? Risen the dust only good bugle down.

I've done March, but yeah, I'm not our.

Big get and what I want it don't matter where does this is the pickup?

Hello, it's the pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.

I am so excited I'm just gonna have I mean, this is so excited that you am spilt frape right down in the front of yourself.

Couldn't contain it.

I was actually going to bypass straight past that, but thank you. Yes.

I wore an all white outfit today and the second I walked in here, I had a mocker iced frape.

So market, a massive frozen frapee. Great, yeah, delicious.

Spilt it all down my top within thirty seconds.

The worst parties I didn't know.

I just kept talking to everyone like normal, and you're all laughing at me because I have coffee all down with.

No one laughed. Everyone just looked at you, like kind of sad.

Yeah, okay, we all looked at you like, Ah, that's so, that's miserable.

I just turned my shirt around backwards.

Well I think you were very resourceful, but that is not why you're excited.

But thank you. We kind of took a tangent.

Yeah, I just like, you know, this is our show, Laura.

We can highlight the things that we want to highlight, and I just want to have like a proud fiance moment my fiance Ben this weekend. He lives over in Italy. He's a football player over there. He plays for a team called Genoa. But he's playing the biggest match of his career this Sunday night.

So anyone that's listening that knows football.

He's in Serie A, that's the league, which is like the Italian Premier League, I guess, and he's playing Napali, which is the number one team. They're about to win the championship. It's a stadium of like sixty or seventy thousand people. It's like a really huge deal and I'm just super excited and super proud of him. I'm going to get up at like three am so I can watch.

Him from here.

And these are the moments that is like, I'm so thrilled and so proud on one hand.

On the other hand, I'm.

Like, oh, these are the sad moments where you're like, I'm not there for his biggest moments. I don't get to actually see it. I get to like cheer alongside, you know, in the TV.

With every TV.

But also like, I hope he doesn't hear this. It's not expected that.

They win, Like you know, when they're playing one of the best teams ever, it's like no one's expecting them to beat them. But on the off chance that he does, I won't be there.

But it's it's cool.

So I just I'm really thrilled for him, and I just wanted to like put it out there.

Yeah, it is time for something we do every Thursday, and that is ask Guncut. It has become as staple of our podcast life on Cut, and it's.

Where you guys call in with your deep, you're dark and.

You're burning questions and even though we are completely unqualified, we do our best answer them.

We have it Emily on the phone.

Hey Emily, Hi Emily, what's the problem?

Hi guys. Okay, So basically I was a guy I dated maybe like three or four years ago. We were quite serious, but like we never like were boyfriend and girlfriend, and due to like careers and stuff in the sense that like I work a normal job and he would work weird hours. It just never eventuated and my work took me other places. Anyways, I just have never been able to stop thinking about him.

Like you think he's kind of the one that got away.

Yeah, And the worst bit about it is I'm never one to like I'm such a girl's girl, right, Like I would never do anything. But he has a girlfriend now and they've been together for a year, and I thought it would just go away, but it's not.

Have you dated other people and then it just doesn't feel right? Are you in a relationship now? Doesn't feel right?

I have dated other people in the past, I have had a relationship in those three to four years, and yeah, I was still thinking about him.

Do you have any contact with him?

This is so bad. I swear, I swear such a girl's girl, like I would never move in on him, but we still chat. Yeah, here and there about like whatever's happening in the world, and like things I know he likes.

Okay, so does he I know he likes?

Does he ever give you the indication like does he ever overstep the mark or is he giving you the indication that like, had it been different, he would have wanted it to work out.

So basically, back in October, we had like a drunk phone call and he was in a relationship at this time, and he said, oh, like we just didn't work out because our life past didn't go that way. And he still thinks of me nicely, but he tells his partner everything, and he's completely open with her and trusting with her.

Emily, Yes, I do.

But I also just think that sometimes the fantasy is better than the real life. Like I think that you can build it up in your head and be like, he's the one that's got away if we had another chance, maybe he's my person.

But sometimes they do get away.

But he's not your person.

He's got a girlfriend, So if he wanted to be your person, he would free up. He's a calendar that he hasn't done that and he's definitely stayed committed in a relationship.

I don't know. I kind of think.

There isn't much that you can do, And I don't know if I would be putting myself in the firing line of telling him how I feel when he's in a relationship.

But it doesn't agree with me, for it's looking at me like.

She's nos, this doesn't happen. No, I'm not saying that doesn't happen often.

I genuinely don't know what to tell you, because I am like a quite a romantic and I like the idea of like I do believe that there can be right people for each other at wrong times, like I know people wherever it's happened.

I believe in that.

I do believe in going after what she want, but obviously within reason. I don't mean that about like being a homewreck and breaking up relationships, but it's if you genuinely believe someone is the one that makes me be Like if he was in a relationship, I'd be like turn up to his house, like tell him. If he says he's not interested, it's fine, move on. At least you know that and you can put it to bed.

This is what I would say, get a dog.

No, I would say, hey, really, honestly, I don't think we can maintain this friendship anymore. I still have feelings for you, so I don't think it's right, and I'm going to do the right thing by your relationship and me.

That way, you are being a good person and pulling back.

As long as you commit to pulling back, you've also let him know why, which is like, my feelings are still there.

Then he can go and do with it what he will.

He'll either feel nothing for you and say like I understand and get on with your life, or he'll be like, wow, I've always felt the same way and didn't think she did, and then.

Something will come Okay.

The problem I have with it is that no matter what you do, even if you do throw that out there and he goes and turns around and says like, oh now I have confused feelings the amount of like back and forth, because no one's going to receive that information and then instantly go, you know what, I have those feelings for you too.

I'm going to break up.

With my girlfriend, move out of the house, and then we can start a consensual relationship together.

I'm not gonna cheat. I'm going to be a stand up guy.

There's nowhere in between except for it to either be he agrees, and then there's cheating for him to like get the validation that he needs in order to leave the relationship. He's not going to from a one line of you saying he's still got feelings, break up with his current girlfriend and move out of the house they

Well, she does need him in his life. He's teguin, he's her penguin.

No, there's more than one person for everyone you meet someone else, Emily.

What are you going to do? Whose advice you're taking? Laws of life?

Part of me is steel, Like do I just suffer in silence. Just keep waiting.

Don't keep waiting, Just don't wait.

They don't wait.

Emily date other.

People I have?

I have none of them.

Oh, Emily, I do not envy you.

Good luck with this, and make sure you us a call back and tell us how it all goes.

I will, Thanks guys.

Thanks Emily.

Now I hate Laura that we even have to have these conversations. We are talking about something far more serious than we usually talk about on the pickup. But I think it is so important that people are across this, and I guess this is a bit of a PSA for anyone right now. The Australian Federal Police have just come out and issued a warning about the increase in drugs hitting our shore in Australia. They are colloquially known as fantasy, but otherwise known as a date rape drug.

To me three times.

I have been drugged three times and by all different kinds of people.

And this is what I think is important.

A lot of people think in terms of this drug or this happening to them, this incident's happening to them, that it's usually by a stranger at a bar that slips something into your drink and that's it. You don't know them, and that does happen absolutely, but often this happens by people that you know as well, which is so sad to think about. But I want people to be super aware that it is not just a stranger in the bar when you're out that you have to be aware of. It's not just like making sure your

Yeah, I mean, firstly horrifying that like a federal warning has to be released in the first place, but we were just talking about it. I mean, the Pickup team is a one hundred percent female team. Like you know, there's four of us that work in this team, and of the four of us, three of us have experienced an incident where someone has used or tried to use

Well, I want to take it a.

Step further and tell you what it feels like and what's signed to look out for, so you know, if it's happening to you, and.

I want to tell you what to do.

So it has happened to me with someone from a bar like the barman it has happened with someone I was on a date with from like an online dating. I don't remember the site, but it was just online dating. We've been speaking for him for a week, met up with him. He did it on the first date. And it's happened with someone.

That I knew.

Now, I'm very lucky by the third time it happened, I say lucky. I'm unlucky, but I'm lucky that I was able to recognize what was happening to me because it had happened so many times, and.

You could get out and get to safety.

Well.

A lot of people say, like, if you start to feel unwell, like make sure you get yourself to a hospital. In my experience, you do not have time. Like it happens so quickly, it is scary. It goes from zero to one hundred in sometimes potentially minutes. If you are out, you need to tell someone immediately that what is happening to you or what you think is happening to you,

We were overseas and I straightway.

That was the second time, so I was pretty sure something was happening, and I said to her, something's happening to me. I think I've been drugged. Win need to go now. And minutes later she was physically she's smaller than me. I was unconscious on the street. She was

For me, the first sign was like when I would move my.

Head to the side just to look, everything was taking too long to catch up, so my sight wasn't moving in line with my head, if that makes sense, and it started to get blurry.

If your vision was blurred.

Yep, And then that is literally You don't really have a lot of time to think of other signs and symptoms because it just starts to happen, you just start to feel really unwell and really really intoxicated. So the second you feel that, all I can say is just tell someone that you're weird what is happening, because it's only minutes away from you not being in control of your own body.

And it's disgusting.

That we are having these conversations and even the way I'm talking about it now, in my mind, I'm back in that situation trying to remember what it felt like, and it's horrific.

It's truly truly horrific, and I don't want anyone to ever experience it.

But I think it's important now that we know the level of drugs that are coming in and the level of people that are doing this for sexual assault, also for theft, like some people are just using it to rob people. I mean, that would be the best case scenario. But please, just like, talk to your daughters about it, talk to your sons about it, talk to your friends about it. Be hyper aware of what can happen, and make sure everyone knows what to do in that situation.

Yeah, and look, if this news has affected you in any way, help is always available. And why don't have to respect or you can contact Lifeline twenty four seven on one three double one one four. Look, if you guys were listening to the show last week, you may have heard that we did our gender reveal live here on the pickup for baby be number three.

Very exciting and.

It is a we're having another girl.

A girl.

We're having three girls and look, I am so so thrilled. And I even said it on the show, like it's really funny when you already have two kids that are the same gender, because people instantly assume that the reason why you're going for number three is because you want

And it's a tricky one because there's no there's no more.

And secondly, we didn't have number three because we wanted to have a boy. We had number three because of the experience of being parents and how much we love having kids.

But gender was not a big factor.

You know.

We spoke about it a bit the other week, like it was probably a slightly bigger factor for Matt.

I think he cared a bit more than what I did.

He had this idea of potentially having a boy and doing all the things that you do with a boy, you know, going to the football and whatnot. And actually we were talking to Woody about it earlier in the week as well, and he had that similar feeling. But I can honestly say for me that I didn't care about the gender. But after the show, we were so excited to go home and talk to the girls because our little girls didn't know whether we were having a

She was like, I want a girl.

It has to be a girl, and one another sister, Lola as well, like only wanted a sister. And then out of nowhere, Molly had a dream this one night and she woke up balling her eyes out from the dream and she said, Mommy, you're having a boy and I don't want it to be a boy. And she was so upset anyway, went back to sleep. Then she woke up the next morning and she was like, Mommy,

You're having a boy. It's a boy.

Anyway, we sat them down and we told them than, in fact, we're not having a boy, we're having a little girl. And Lola was so excited, and Marley first out crying.

Oh no.

She was really.

Really upset because she had had it in her head and she was so convinced that it was absolutely going to be a boy.

Did she say why she wanted to be a boy?

She did, Yeah, we got to the bottom of it.

She was so upset that I had to sit her down once she like stopped hyperventilating, and I was like, honey, what's going on, Like why, Like, it's not a big deal. It's you know, you've got a little sister. You love your little sister. You guys are best friends. Now you're gonna have another little sister. And she said, mommy, I realized it means I'm gonna have to share more things.

She cracked it. She fully understands that.

She was like, oh, if we have another girl in the house, that doesn't work.

Well for me, I mean it's fair.

I think that is something to take into consideration as a five year old, like you are high, she.

Doesn't want to share it. She already has to share with his sister. She shares a bedroom, she shares a bed, they share everything.

I mean I shared a room my entire life with my sister and we turned out so close, Like we were in a room until I was sixteen.

How did you guys go sharing a room for all that time though? Like were you amicable or did you guys go through a period where you wanted to kill each other?

It went through?

Well, yeah, we were always really really good friends. Really closes two and a half year is difference. We're still best is now as adults. But you know when it changed. It changed when I was starting to become like a young.

Adult, like you were cool.

She was the kid, well you just want your different. She was like the little nerd burger at primary school and I was like cool. I was like thirteen fourteen, getting my period, like coming into a different cool cool, like coming into.

A different time. And that's when I was like, yo, you're cramping my style.

So I don't know if you've ever had real style brute.

I feel like what Sorry, But I also shared a room with my sister until I was about thirteen.

But I have this.

Really vivid memory of when we must have been around ten years old, and we would fight. Like my sister and I are best of friends now, we could not closer. But as kids, we fought so hard about everything, and we were the hair pulling, hair brush throwing, screaming at each other kind of kids, like it was rat bags.

I can't remember why, We'll find me you are an animal. Yeah, yeah, we were terrible.

I'm not looking forward to that phase of parenting because I think you get back what you gave as a kid, and I think it's coful, you.

Would have been bad. Sober. Well, we're happy for you. I hope she's come around full circle. I hope she's on board now.

No no, no, no, no, she's getting better. She's getting better. She made me a really cute card yesterday of me. I was just the shape of a soccer ball and I had a baby my belly, so I.

Think she's just Bristoke.

And she said I can't wait to get the baby out, which sounded ominous.

I can't wait to get the baby out.

It don't sound a bit chucky ish, all right, guys, Well that's the end of the show for us.