FULL SHOW: Cloud & Is Honesty The New Lying?

Are you ready? The pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn.

Radio work Our windows down, my world risen the dust only good zabzugle down.

I've done much, but yeah I'm not. I'll big get and what I want. It doesn't matter where.

This is the pick up.

It's the pickup with Britt Hackley and Laura Burn.

Hi, guys, Hi, guys. What is this question you have for me?

No?

I've just been thinking about this all week because there's so much I don't know about, like what it's like to have kids, because I surprisingly.

Don't have kids. You I know, but you went to South Africa last.

Week and you flew alone with the kids on like a thirty hour flight.

Well it was twenty two, but I like the exaggeration. It felt like thirty with the.

Time that you traveled to the airport three hours earlier. Yeah, stuff, it's thirty hours. It's a big time and you were alone, single parenting. I couldn't get my head around. Are you allowed to sleep as a parent on a plane if.

You've got two kids with you that are asleep, because I imagine you would have been so exhausted. But if you go to sleep and wake up and they're just not there. Like what happens.

It's very hard to sleep when they're not asleep. Like, so the problem is is one of them will fall asleep, but the other ones not asleep, so you're kind of like tagged teeming their sleep. But there was this one point when Lola, my youngest who's four, was asleep and Marley was watching a movie and I was just kind of like half bug eyed and kind of falling asleep in my chair and Molly turns around.

She strokes my face, and she goes, I mean, it's okay, you can just have a sleep. She goes, you should just I won't even talk to you. You just have a sleep now. But do they know not get up and walk around and stuff. Oh yeah, they're not gonna get up and walk around.

Maybe some other people's kids might, but my kids don't really want to be far away from where I am.

They want to be with me. So I napped.

Yeah, I napped with the permission of my daughter, who stroked my face to my five year old tugged me, and I was so wrecked.

Well, guys, we do have a big show today.

We got to ask on cut coming up with one of our listeners who doesn't know what to do with some big feelings that she has for a boss. You know what I say to that, don't coop where you eat, don't do it bang him?

No, actually I wouldn't. I'm thinking about our bosses and I'll stop anyway.

Okay, Look they also listen to this and now they're offenders. Sorry, bosses. I'm a happy married woman.

It is time being that it is a Thursday for something we do every Thursday. We also do it on our Life Uncut podcast, and that is ask Guncut.

Will you guys call up.

With your biggest, your deepest, darkest dilemma and we do our absolute best to answer them, even though we are technically very unqualified to do something.

Stop telling people that I don't call anymore. But we give good advice. Though we are qualified.

We give good advice because we've lived through some pretty wild, terrible relationships. I would say, but anyway, here it is okay, Alex. She's giving us a call because she's got some very strong feelings for her boss. Alex.

Are you there, Hi? Yeah?

And I'm hoping you guys can give me some good advice.

What is going on?

I've been working at this company for a couple of years now, and I've got a crush on my boss.

It's the type of company and or don't tell me where you work, but like what kind of industry you your location? And also is there a big age discrepancy with your boss or is it discrepancy age disparity?

Well, look, is it chilly to say, like I assume he's in his like late thirties.

Oh he's young, young boss. How old are you are? How old are you?

I'm in my mid twenties.

How big is the company?

Do you work really closely with him or do you just like have to brush past him and smell his clone in the hallway?

So to explain it, it's like we work on an office floor, so like there's heaps of people around, but with my position, me and him talk a lot.

Has he given you any indication? Is there any flirting? Do you get the vibe that there is something there or is it just a kind of feeling a bit one sided?

I feel like I'm blushing talking about this.

I don't.

Yeah, of course we're like always flirty. And there was this one time when we went out for work drinks, like conversation was flowing and stuff, and we like almost kiss but like didn't.

Sounds like a movie.

So I definitely feel like the vibes are reciprocated, but like I totally get the whole, like it's inappropriate because I'm in his employee, you know what I mean?

Now, I used to feel that, but I don't anymore. I used to in some instances. I still do britch.

I used to say, don't poop where you eat, and it's you know, there's a power play here and all this stuff and all of that is true. But what I do want to say is if this could be your penguin and you think that this could be the love of your life, you can't not try just because it's your boss.

You might be jobless. You cannot try because it's your boss. Yeah, but then you can sue him. They can't fight you. Oh my god, is the word vibe? No, it's not.

If you think it's reciprocated and there are proper feelings there, there are definitely ways around it, and it depends on what your industry is and what the company's set up is, and if you have to go and let them know you're dating.

People date at work all the time.

It just has to make you just have to make sure that no one's been taken advantage of, it's all on board, it's all consensual, and then I think go for it.

Also you might get a pay rise, Alex.

I think be careful because it depends on multiple things.

One is is like how much you actually.

Really like your job and where you work, because the relationship dynamic could change if you've read things wrong. And also you definitely don't want to be in a situation where he feels uncomfortable because I think, you know, think about it. On the flip side, if you were made to feel uncomfortable because someone in your workplace was making advances at you like, that would be a whole different situation.

She's gauged it.

You're just still giving it the same one hand, just saying don't do it. The next one you're like, ask him for a drick. You're the one giving conflicted advice. I just think only go there if you think it's going to be something remotely or relatively serious. If you're just looking for a hookup or something, and it's absolutely not worth making this chaos.

In your work environment. Like, on a serious note, don't touch it. Do you even know if he's single.

Yeah, he's definitely single, and like he is flirty, Like he likes to ask me what I'm up to on the weekends and stuff. It just never like eventuates in the conversation, you know what I mean. So maybe he's also feeling the same thing, like he doesn't want to be inappropriate and take the wrong step.

Yeah, he's keen. Is it keen? Just because someone asks you what you're doing on the weekend? Is that flirting? These days? They kissed? Unless that was fake and you imagined it? How did you almost kiss but then didn't kiss? Like what happened?

It was like a goodbye sort of situation. We were both lingering and I could see he was looking at my lips like total signs that he was going to kiss me. And then and then so we're waiting for a taxi and somebody just came out and kind of like interrupted it type of thing.

Yeah, it is a movie that's devastating. Maybe next Christmas.

Party, I don't know if I can wait that long.

No, I hang out in a weekend. But I think it must probably have to come from you because it probably can't come from him.

He'll get fired. But if it comes from your end, it might.

Be all right, okay?

Or is he into like fitness stuff? Could you go for a run or go and do it like a big walking for a run of them pash, sweaty pash at the end.

I don't know. Guy's been a long time since I've dated me.

I think that's not a bad idea. A hot girl walk is always an option.

Yeah, you could be like, I've found this really great cafe. I'm into my walking now. I've never got to walk. You're never going to kiss on a walk. I have tried every date in history.

I've done it, breakfast, brunch, lunch swims, hot girl walks, saunas, dinner dates, full degastations. I've done it all. You ain't passionate at the end of a hot girl walk. What's a guaranteed pash dinner in the dark. You can't even do daylight savings. Got to be like the sun start, yeah, because you're not going to like mack on out in the daylight, right, alex Well you heard it here first, let us.

Know how it goes. I genuinely want to know if this eventuates.

Okay, I will, I will take good guys.

Thanks, so they call Alex.

Now, we had something really exciting that happened today on Life onun Cut podcast. And you and I have been doing the pod for the last.

Six years, and like nearly eight hundred episodes or some booth years of our life have been dedicated.

Okay, well, you've been dedicated to having like really amazing conversations, some of them very silly, some of them very You know, we've learnt so much over the years in what we've done. The reason why what I'm about to tell you is so exciting is because we've branched out from just doing Life on Cut. We've created Life un Cut Productions. And as of that, we have our very first ten part mini series that has.

Launched and is called Cloud Now.

The person behind that mini series is our incredible executive producer of Life on Cut, Keisha Pettitt, who, for anyone who's a listener of the pod will already be familiar with Keisha's voice. Keisha, welcome to the pick up, and I'd love to talk a little bit with you about Cloud and why this project was so important to you

But what Cloud is we created essentially, I mean, I'm sure there's a lot of conversation at the moment. There's a lot of social media at the moment about the fact that everyone's being diagnosed with ADHD, and particularly there seems to be this set of women who, like myself, find out much later in life, and we call that

Of that revelation of oh, that's what it is.

And I found that a lot of the conversation that exists already are podcasts or maybe like YouTube series or social media content about this is what ADHD is, or this is how you could recognize it in a loved one and how you can kind of adapt to it. And where I kind of realized that there was this gap was after I got my diagnosis and I kind of learnt about what caused ADHD and some of the

Yeah? And the interesting thing is, I mean we've talked about it a bit before, but there are so many celebrities at the moment who have come out speaking about ADHD. Celeste Barber, Julia Morris just talked about it on I'm a celebrity, like which two years ago or five years ago that was never being discussed. Mea Friedman who has mum and mea when the examples that we have in media are all these incredibly successful women. I think it shows just one dynamic of what that looks like.

And you've got some really incredible guests you're talking to along the series, who are some of those people.

We spoke with people like Mark Manson, who is the author of The Subtle Art of Not.

Giving a Pew New York Times bestselling author.

Yeah, we spoke with that, Johann Hari who wrote Stole and Focus. We spoke with neuroscientist TJ.

Power.

We have a psychiatrist named doctor Keren Kennedy during the podcast, and a bunch of relationship experts and other late age diagnosed women in Australia.

Kish, Why do you think it's the case that so many women are diagnosed so late?

A couple of reasons, but the main one is the fact that our understandings of ADHD have evolved a lot, particularly if you fall into the inattentive side. So that was kind of off with the fairies rather than the boisterous like I'm going to be crazy kid. Yeah yeah, And so that has increased a lot, and with that

You would have never known that's what it was.

How much older could I have been, and you know, my life could have been a lot easier. I guess that's why I'm so stoked that this gets to go out in the world now, because I hope it helps people realize that you don't necessarily have to be living with that fog, and whether that's through medication or through lifestyle changes, there is like a lot of light on the other side of it.

Well.

It is such an incredible podcast series, and like I said, it's only a ten parts a mini series. It is called Cloud and episode one and two were out today. So wherever you listen to your podcast, go and have a listen to it. If you yourself have ADHD. If you've seen the stuff on social media and thought, hey, maybe that's me, or you've got a love one or someone in your life who has ADHD, I think it'll be such a valuable tool to listen to.

Okay, there's something I want to discuss that is really setting me off from Maps, Like, I'm quite angry about it.

Shocked. I feel like you're always angry about Maths.

I really am, and I realized why I never really enjoyed watching it.

Updates her status on Facebook angry about Maths.

Facebook, MSN Messenger.

Well, if you haven't watched Maths, they do this one thing every season. It's like the photo ranking challenge. And if you did listen to us last week, we did speak to the relationship professional John Aiken. He came on the show and we spoke about this exact thing, the ranking of your partners. So basically, every groom in the show has to rank their bride where they think they are in like level of attractiveness.

It's pretty cool.

Yeah, and every bride ranks their groom. It's a staple of the show. It's a fan favorite.

But the bride's are usually nicer like this seems to be a trend that the grooms are doing. And I don't want to say the brides are never nasty, but it seems to be very skewed to the men being I.

Think it's because this is probably a very blanket stereotypical statement. So I'm sorry to all the men in the car, but I think that women have a more of a tendency to want to people please, and we have a bit of a higher eq. So even if we don't think that our partners are the hottest, we'll just do it because we know that that's gonna save a lot of arguments and a lot of hurt feelings.

Well, in a nutshell, what I want to talk about is this idea of honesty being weaponized. So what they're saying is they're using honesty. I'm just speaking my truth. I'm just telling you how I feel like I should be allowed to do that. They're using that as an

But I think there needs to be a level to that, because.

Now these men are like, yeah, I put my bride's seventh, I'm not attracted to you.

I would much prefer that bride. Hey, I'm just speaking my truth.

I think it is a pretty juvenile think to think that honesty is the most important thing. And absolutely you want your partner to be honest, but you don't want your partner to be honest to you at the expense.

Of just being cruel and mean.

And I say this because when I was in my very first long term relationship, like we met when I was like eighteen years old, he struggled with quite a few.

Of his own demons.

So I don't want to just completely villainize the guy, because he is a good guy, but he would be so mean. He would tell me that I was annoying. He would tell me that I was too loud, that he didn't want to He would come home some days from work and we lived together.

We were together for six years.

He wouldn't speak to me, and he would tell me it was because he couldn't be bothered to speak to me. And I accepted all of that because he would then turn around and be like, I'm just being honest, you can't be angry at me because I'm speaking my truth. And this idea of speaking your truth regardless of the impact it has on the person that you're speaking it to, I think it's just a really cruel way to treat someone that you love. But at the time, I was like,

But it's also a manipulation tact. One hundred percent. You couldn't have been that annoying. He stayed for six years, but what he did, guess mean to me he did get.

A more subdued partner than cooked for him and wanted to do everything for him.

So it just really frustrates me. I don't know if you can hear angry in my voice. I hope he's not listening. I don't think he cares. Who cares? He was a dick. Honesty is not always the best policy. I know.

I know that that is the saying that it was probably Gandhi or something. But I know that's saying, like, honestly, the best policy always be open. It's not true, like sometimes a white lie is what you need. And if you're not socially aware enough to think that the ranking the last is not going to be an issue, then you probably don't deserve to be in a relationship at all.

There's a Taylor Swift lyric that is this and so this is not a new concept. She said, so casually cruel in the name of being honest.

Ah, she's brilliant. So it was gandy, Taylor's Gandy. It basically first rue.

So casually cruel in the sake of being honest, in the name of being honest.

Whatever I got it wrong, I don't care.

I remember listening to that song when I was like in my early thirties, and I thought about that relationship straight away, like that's how much that's the impact it had on me. Thanks Taylor Swift, had a great time of your concert.

You know she's not listening to the figure. I think that we should be the professionals on math. Sorry, John Aacan. I think you and I would be really good.

John Akan's actually a psychiatrist, and we have done a whole heap of podcasts.

I have a science degree, Laura, you're a radiographer. Brit I have a medical radiation science degree. I don't I can talk about radiation science. Let's go home.