FULL SHOW: Childless By Choice & Pregnancy Tests

Are you ready?

Good pickup with Britt Hogley and Laura Burn.

Baby, are worth our windows done?

My worlds in the dust? Only good, bab dug all.

I don't much, but yeah, I'll big get and what I want.

It don't matter where.

This is the pick up, Hi, guys, it's the pick up with Brett Harckley and Laura Bird.

Happy Friday.

I always get that extra kick on a Friday. You know when you feel like.

You're close to the finish line, that's because you're leaving here to go on a boat.

It's true, we are producer. Grace is coming with me.

I was also luckily invited, but I had had much more important plans.

I got a date at the RSL Club, Grace and higher on the boat.

We're going around the harbor.

We've got a couple of friends. It's going to be really nice.

But Laura's like, I'm sorry, I'm busy.

I'm like, what is too busy for the boat? She's like the local Ari, I've got dinner with the family and the kids. Can't let them down. Babe, you don't do the raffle?

Aren't you? You love an RSL raffle? Yes?

I am. I can't give up the chance to win myself from meat raffle. It is actually my favorite thing. Winning a meat raffle is so deeply satisfying. I love it, and I buy an obscene amount of raffle tickets that they could have just gone and bought a meat tray.

You got to be in it to win it, don't. They say that's.

How they make their money because they bank on people like you. Wis the adrenaline? What if am I going to win? Pull my number on the LG OFC.

God.

I really hope Laura doesn't go on that boat party and she comes to the RSL tonight.

Who's gonna buy raffles? Your single handedly keeping the local aflow?

I absolutely love it. Well, I'm doing my beer anyway. We've got a very big show for you guys today. Also a bit of an important discussion Jamila jimil You guys might know who she is.

She's a very famous actress.

She's just recently come out with a bit of a bombshell around why she doesn't want to be a mum and it's a you know, it's a really I think, a very interesting take and it's something we don't hear very often from women who have way more choice these days about whether they want to be at the RSL club with their kids or not.

Yeah, I really loved it. Maybe you don't want kids, you want to be on a boat. Who know, are you Laura or Brittany?

Now something I wanted to talk about, and I know you have some feelings about it too.

Brit Jamila Jamil.

If you don't know who she is, she was once upon a time a DJ, a TV presenter, and she's also an actress who was in that TV show The Good Place.

Yeah, she actually blew up.

Now she's a big advocate for like a lot of different issues around but she's like.

She's an advocate for she's one of those nor she's one of those people that doesn't really have.

A role anymore. She does everything.

Yeah, she's she's also a very big voice in a sort of feminist movement. So she's recently come out and spoken about whether or not she does or doesn't want to have children. Now spoiler, she doesn't want to have kids, and she's made that decision of her own accord, not because she can't and not because she's unwilling. She just really has arrived at the destination where she's realized that being a mum isn't for her.

Yeah, I really.

Loved it because I feel like when this conversation does happen, which it's becoming more frequent, but it's still not the societal norm. But and it does happen, there's usually a bit of bum fluff either side, like people want to soften it, they feel like they need to really explain themselves why, and like compliment sandwich.

But she just really owned it.

Yeah. I want to read to you what she had to say, And there's a little bit to this. She wrote, I don't give a shit about marriage, and I don't want children.

I just really really don't.

I think one of the best decisions I've ever made is to not become a mother.

I don't think i'd be bad at it. I just don't want to do it.

I actually love it so much.

I'm beyond not compelled. I have absolutely no interest. I'm about as interested in that as I am rock climbing, and I think they both sound really hard and dangerous. But she goes on to say how I think it's better for society if I end my bloodline here and close all the doors behind me.

I love it. I love it.

The reason why I quite enjoyed how absolutely unapologetic she is. And I say, this is someone who is a mum, and I love being a mum and I love the role at having my kid's life and what they mean to me. But I think a lot of times we look at women who have made the decision to you know, childless by choice, that decision, and we kind of think, you're going to change your mind, Like that's the fear mongering.

That goes on for a lot of reddit. Yeah, you're going to regret it. That's the fear mongering that goes on for a lot of people.

Or on the flip side of that, like we paint this picture that if you don't want to have kids, that you must be an innately selfish person. And I I mean, we've had loads of conversations in our podcast Life Uncut about this, brit But there is such a powerful movement of women who have made the decision that they don't want to have kids, and they're not selfish, and they're not going to turn around and regret it. They just have agency to choose a life that they really want for themselves.

I actually want to challenge that, Well.

It's not surprising to me that motherhood isn't for everyone. It's really hard.

I want to challenge that.

I think that deciding not to have kids sometimes is completely selfish decision, But that doesn't mean it's bad.

You can.

Like, part of the reason that I've always been on the fence is, and I openly say, it's because I still feel selfish with my time. When you decide to have a you are giving up every second of your day. There is nothing wrong with that, but it is a big decision, and I often think, am I ready to give up my time to the level that I would need to to become a mother? Like that is a really big thing. But being selfish doesn't always have to have these negative connotations.

But I see it on the flip side of that.

I think if you have enough self awareness to know that you don't want to be a mum, that you wouldn't enjoy that role. I don't think it's selfish because what it means is is that you're not going to be in the position where you have to pretend and show up and you know, be sort of this support person for this tiny little human in a role that you actually resent and never wanted to do in the first place.

You know what I.

Really envy, and it's because I still now in this moment, I struggle with this so much. I am on this perpetually swinging pendulum between wanting kids and not wanting kids. I envy people that know either way, like Jamila does, like she's so adamant, and I wish I felt that same as people that know that all they've ever wanted to do is be a mum.

I envy that.

And my pendulum is constantly swinging, and I know I'm running out of time, and in my late thirties, I have eggs and embryos on ice. But I still need

What do you see? What do you want?

And I always try and visualize it. There's always a family in it. But I can't fathom having in the family.

When I'm fifty, I'll be ready, but I'm just not.

Yeah, And it's a really like it upsets me all the time.

If you've been following my story or like the podcast or whatever, I always talk about this because I think it's really important. We talk about people that want kids, so we talk about the people that don't want kids. We often don't talk about the people that are stuck on the swing like I am. I don't know which stop to get off at.

I'm on the.

Bust around around about and I don't know where to get off, and that's what keeps me up at night is making the decision. I feel like I do need to just bite the bullet, But I just I really envy Jamila and how cash she can just say like, no, it's not for me.

So well, I mean, this might be very serendipitous timing because you also are about to share a story about a pregnancy test and yodbye, so stick around.

For that.

If you're just joining us.

We were just talking about Jamila Jamil not wanting kids, and we're talking about my swinging pendulum of if I want kids or not, because I'm constantly going between the two depends on the day of the week I wake up and how I'm feeling.

It also depends on your ovulation.

I reckon, I reckon when you're ovulating, not you specifically, but women in general. Whenever I'm ovulating, I'm like, yeah, third baby, And then after it, I'm like, no.

Well that's a terrible idea.

Yeah, you fluctuate more than me every day, but every week you've already got two kids.

Put it on record here, I do want a third so when that happens, guys, don't be shocked.

Oh it feels weird talking about my sex life to you guys, But.

Why you do it all the time anyway.

Yeah, but know what I'm about to say, because I haven't really said this.

Actually, I don't really been really inteted on the podcast.

Whilst I'm confused about wanting children, my fertility, if you haven't followed along, my fertility is really bad.

So I have embryos and I have eggs on eyes.

And it looks like I'm going to have to do IVF if that works. So I say that because Ben and I have been trying and I've never really said that out loud, and it's hard to say I've been trying, when I also in the same sentence say I don't know if I want it to work, like it's a very because I do know I want it to work.

And the reason I know this is sounding.

Convoluted, so because I know that really like one day that I know that I want the child, and because I know it's going to be so hard, of course, I wanted to do it naturally and not go through IVF. I'm yeah, thirty eight this year, so we're sort of like, look, the chances of it happen naturally are so slim that we'll just try our luck.

And we have not been lucky obviously since yeap.

So we've been doing this for a very long time, like every time we're together basically. So that being said, we were just this is just a stranger situation.

So I Ben and.

I were just going to du buy for Christmas for the break the holiday season and coming up to years. I had obviously like ovulated before, and I was like, do you know what I want to have a drink on years.

I'll do a pregnancy test.

We'll check before I I'm being very sensible.

Yeah, yea, So I did a pregnancy test and it came back negative.

Did another one to be sure negative.

You feel a level of disappointment, but at the moment they're always negative, so it's fun.

It's just like another negative one.

So I'd put it in the bin in the bathroom, like the toilet bin, along with the urine cup.

When about my day we left the hotel, we went to the beach whatever, and we came.

Back and the pregnancy test had been taken out of the bin and the urine cup was taking out of the bin and it was just put like up on the console, the urine cup as well.

Yeah, like the whole test was. And I was like, Ben, that's the question.

Did you take the pregnancy test out of the bin?

And he was like what?

And I was like, yeah, that's weird. You're trying to keep it for like a momentum. He was like, why would I do that? And I said, well, I'm sure I put it in the bin.

You're like, cause I'm going home soon when I have a little keepsake of me, I get that urine.

But I was like, I gas lipped myself and I was like, yeah, maybe I didn't put it in the bin.

So I put it back in the bin. We went out again, and I came back and it was back out of the bin.

This happened like three times. They were coming into the room and taking the pregnancy test and the urine cup out of the bin and just putting it on display. And I was like, guys, are you doubling down that it's negative?

I was like, I don't understand.

Maybe they were like, this isn't the plastic spin that's the recycling bin over there, No.

This is not the human waste. Why would you do?

But I'm genuinely confused. I'm like, what is happening?

Why is that? Why the cleaner sorting the bit? I don't know.

I didn't even know that that was a thing. I didn't know that went through to me.

I think it is a thing, but it is they're supposed to do that.

Well, three times the pregnancy test was laid out. Explain that to me.

Is it a case that you're like, because you're not married yet, is it.

Like you shouldn't be ornoicating.

For just having babies out of wedlock and dubai? I don't know. Is it like is it a cult?

Maybe let's not bring any more attention to it. Am I going to prison.

Probably not because you're not in to buy anymore. But what if I want to go back. I'm sure you're put a flag on my cot. I'm sure they've done nothing.

It doesn't say on your passport like had sex out of wedlock.

I don't think that that's going to be on your passport.

Did you get to the bottom of it? Did you have any resolution to this, or like you just to a public bin.

I was like, I had to put it in my bag.

I had to put it in my handbag, and I was like, I guess I'll go take it somewhere into the street. I'm like, I don't know, I don't know. It's not happened to me before, and I couldn't understand it.

I watched a really funny TikTok the other day and it was like, you know, when you're an adult, it's when your friends stopped doing pregnancy test with you and they start doing it with their significant partners.

I was like, that's the benchmark.

That's pretty true.

Everyone just looked at me like they never did a pregnancy test with their friends.

How many have you done? A few? Luckily I just have two kids. Surprising even to me. Wow, there you go.

Wow, it's the pick up with Britt Harkley and Laura Byrn. And you know Valentine's Day, it's just around the corner everyone.

It really creeps up on you, doesn't it.

Valentine's Day? I reckon, My husband's going to be still away.

Potentially he'll still be in the African jungle by then, hopefully if he makes it through to the finals.

Yeah, hey, speaking to husband, I'm just gonna steguay for a second take over. I just forgot that it is my fiance's birthday today. Oh, like, I'm just having this realization right now. But in my defense, he doesn't know yet. He hasn't woken up. He lives on the other side of the world.

You've done nothing for him, You have done nothing.

Well, he doesn't know that until he listens.

Do you know what it just he moved country.

Two days ago. It's really slipped my mind.

Oh, you would be feelthy if he forgot your birthday.

He would never live it down. You were angry at him that he didn't buy you.

A present for your birthday when you both had already mutually agreed and spoken about the fact that you weren't buying presents.

Yeah, because when you say that as a woman, it doesn't mean anything.

Diabolically. Okay, we'll talk about this later. Okay, continue.

So Matt, he's currently in this celebrity jungle right and before he left, he had a really big sit down with the girls. We spoke about in the show when he came on as well. He had this little symbol that he was going to do, just nothing crazy. He's just going to hold his little love heart hands up and do like a love heart symbol to the camera so that the girls could see him do that symbol and so that they would know that he's thinking of them.

Super cute.

Yeah, in theory if he did it, so.

Would have been cute.

So we talked about it so much, and he had this like plan to do the symbol. And I mean there's a few times if you've watched Time a Celebrity, you would know there's a few times where it's actually live, like it flicks to live in the campsite and they kind of go around and you get the camera on each participant for a short period of time.

And you yell out to the camera. Usually I'm saying this because I did it last year.

But you're usually like love your mom.

And dad, or you like you throw the sign up, or you're like hey mad miss you like you're chaotic.

Totally, so that would be the opportunity Formatt to do it. Now, he has not done it as frequently as what I would have thought that he was going to. I think I've seen him do it once so far. That's it, and I've watched every episode.

Once does he say anything? Is he like, hey, lol it what?

But okay, I don't know I was doing that.

I know, I know, And to be fair, no one else on this season really is. So it seems like it was a really big thing on your season that everyone was doing their little hand symbols and stuff.

No one's really doing it on this season.

Only problem is is that Marley, who has been watching some of the episodes, has also picked up on it, and so yesterday she got a bit upset. She was like, Mommy, maybe Daddy's not missing me because he's not doing the.

Heart's matt one job, buddy.

I mean, he's out there eating pigs anuses. He's doing a really good job. If you can eat a.

Pigs anus, you can throw a love heart to your kids at home.

In Matt's defense, I know that he would be so unbelievably hungry, and when he is hungry.

He does not function, he doesn't love.

He's the hungriest man that just you can't have a conversation with him.

When he's hungry.

He's like processing skills, go down the toilet when he's hungry, Like that man needs fuel and he needs food.

I have a question speak I know now well, I know the kids have really funny concepts of time. So Matt's ink gone two weeks.

He's been gone now for no longer. He's been gone for almost three weeks. He's yeah, it's been two weeks because he left a little bit earlier than the show actually started filming. So it's now been two weeks and five days he's been gone.

Well, so it's time going fast or slow for the kids.

Do they feel like it was just a couple of days or do they feel like he's been gone forever?

No, it's look, I know, I make a lot of jokes about it. It's incredibly incredibly hard, and we had a really good system at the start with the kids, and like everything was really efficient. I even joked about it on the show that like, things just get done more efficiently when you're the only one doing it, and

Now, that's so cute. She's like, why can dad eat a butt? But he can't come home. Daddy would rather be eating an anus than be home with me right now. It's terrible, but yeah, look anyway, guys, just your remind I give you ten votes Daddy Jay. Keep him in there, keep him in the jungle.

I think the first elimination is happening this Sunday, So get on ten play and vote and yeah, fingers crossed for Maddy.

J will only miss him for a few more weeks.

A few more weeks. Well, Grace and I have a boat to catch and you've got an IRSL to get to. So that's meat raffle or when everybody Happy Friday. Guys, Happy Friday. I'm praying for you that you get your meat loaf. We're gonna see you guys back on Monday. Have an amazing weekend.

See you guys,