FULL SHOW: Can you ask your partner to change their look?

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Good pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura Burn. Baby or what our windows down? That's my worries in the dust? Only good fabs dog all down.

I've done much but yeah, I know I'll big get.

And what I want.

It don't matter where that gone. This is the pickup.

Happy Monday, everybody, Well, Monday afternoon.

It's the pick up with Britt Hockey and Laura Burn.

Monday afternoon is still a Monday, Laura, No, but I don't think you can say happy Monday in the afternoon because everyone's already done it in the morning.

But but surely by midday people like, shut up, it's Monday. We've got the rest of the week to go.

It's happier now because they've just checked out of work, like people on the way home. They're going to pick their kids up.

That's happy. Thanks Britt, you're the one that brought them down.

Happy Monday everyone, Hey, you know what's happy? This is so cute. So my sister Sherry has been living in Scotland for the better part of two years, but over two years, and she recently, in the last two weeks, moved home and she's got her little daughter, Maya, who is about eight months old, and her and Ben spend a lot of time together overseas because my fiancee, Ben also lives overseas.

So long story.

Short, Ben and Maya FaceTime like a lot.

That's how they say contact, which is funny because it's very sweet. There's not a lot of contact between eight months old. I wonder who's doing the calling. Maya calls him in the morning. No, she's really clocked inner. Isn't she really smart for her age.

Just yesterday he taught her how to stick her tongue out, like just just by face time, like he'll make face that.

He kept sticking the tongue out, and then she started to copy him.

She has stuck her tongue out.

Now she's like a lizard.

For the last probably thirty five hours, every ten seconds, the tongue.

Now it's just going around. It's just like flicking out, flicking out.

Because whenever they learn a new trick, then they just do it on repeat. I remember when when Marley learned shockface, so we'd say shop face and she and she'd do it anywhere didn't matter what we were doing.

You say shock face, and it was it would never get old.

It's like she just found the tongue, so now it's all she She just won't keep in her mouth anymore. It's very, very all right question, Laura. I'm getting married pretty soon. My fiance Ben and I have very different ideas on how we like each other's hair basically, so like, he doesn't like my hair short, he doesn't like me with a fringe. I hate his hair with short back and sides.

You guys have a lot to say on each other's personal grooming preferences.

Well, this is my husband cares about as if I've showered or not. Yeah, because I do. I do, just not enough for him.

So I Ben's hair right, my fiancees hair, he really likes to have. It's like a European style. He's really big on the short back in sides. He loves to keep it really really short, and I think he looks really handsome with a little bit longer hair. I don't like when you can see the scalp of the white scalp through the hair, and that's how short he has it, right, And I have been begging him since I have met him,

The groomy that he very aggressive. That's an aggressive amount of hair cutting. Also seems expensive.

Well, he says that he has really fast growing hair, and I was like, I don't think further that is true. So I've been begging him since I've met him to just grow it a little bit longer because it's my preference. But now we're coming to crunch time, like the wedding is coming up, and we've started to get into a

A couple of meals? I do?

However, I all I so remember about eight months ago when you had ready orange hair and Ben's first reaction was, please don't have that color hair for the wedding. He loved it, but he didn't want it for the wedding. So why was my response, Laura, Well, I think it takes two to tango. If he's going to give some sort of like preference on how you look at the wedding,

But then my response to that was, of course, love however you want to look, go into the hair dresser this afternoon, no doubt you know I love the hairdresser.

I I don't want to be in the middle of your argument.

If you want my real opinion.

It's not like I'm demanding it, But I don't think it's unreasonable to like talk to your partner and say, like, you don't have to do what someone has said, right, But if somebody has a preference on something, when it's the difference between a tiny little bit more hair, like that's it. I'm like, I prefer to look at you with a bit more hair, like, can you do me?

Because it when you have least time repulsed by you? Look, I don't.

It's weird to me that you guys have argued about this. But I do understand that there are definitely things that you might like in your partner more than other things. So for example, I love it where my husband has a hairy chest. Love a hairy chest. I think that that is that is peak Maddy Jay. When he has a full hairy chest, does he wax it? He clips it because he finds a hairy chest not very comfortable.

He thinks it's to be itchy, so he often clips it.

But then every so often we meet a compromise where he just lets it grow wild just for me, and then that will be like.

Three weeks, and then he'll clip it again in a couple of months. He does it.

He does it knowing, But like I think, you can have a preference and you're allowed to voice that, but you also should not care.

That much if your partner doesn't do it. I don't know.

I just I've got to look at these photos the rest of my life, like these are our wedding photos. They're probably gonna be blown up on my wall. I just want to froth it, like I want to look at him and be like yeah, like you know, no, I don't know. Well, I was hoping you lost me it froth sorry, guys. To be honest, I was hoping you'd be more on my side and that I could then send him.

This radio break. That's what I was hoping would happen. I don't know.

I think I'm gonna keep waning in. I did try to bribe him. I did say I will cut a fringe if he cuts his hair for the wedding because he doesn't.

Like my fruit. Just go back to being orange.

Oh yeah, actually that's a good threat. If I went back to being orange, I reckon he grow it out?

Good, got it? That's what I'm gonna do. All right, all of you guys.

Now, today we are joined by five times Loki winner and one of Australia's most beloved actresses, Ashaketty. Now, if you haven't heard of Ashaketty, I'm sure you have. But Asha has a reputation of playing some incredibly complex and ladd strong female characters. You would probably know her best from her role in Offspring, but also one of my favorites, which was Nine Perfect Strangers, and she's now back as Evelyn Jones in season two of Strive.

It's a brilliant chat.

Take a listen. Now, you've been acting since you were a teenager, and I am going to say I was.

I am a super fan.

You're obviously a mum to two, You're very successful, You're still working a lot. Do you think you can have it all? Do you think you can do both concurrently or what do you think it takes to live that life.

I just don't put that expectation on myself or any of the women or men in my life at all. I think it's completely elusive. I've said before I think that the notion is bullshit. I just don't get I don't understand the I'm sorry she'll reject your question in that way, but I suppose I feel strongly that you mean.

Bullshit of the saying having it all is bullshit or what'shit.

The notion that we can have it all and someone might be this extraordinary super human person to be able to balance all the bulls in the air all of the time, I think is crazy and it's a terrible expectation. That we place on ourselves and other people.

Yeah, and we look in, we look in from the outside and we go, well, that person's successful, they have a seemingly beautiful, happy family life. They must be doing it all all the same time. And I think it's an observation rather than a reality. But actually, something you said when you were describing strife, you said, like the mum guilt and you're like something that we just all we all experience and you kind of talking.

About it from a character perspective.

But then also that statement, even though it was just like a little bit like off the calf, it is the reality is, especially when you're when you're you know, a career driven person and you're also a mom at the same time, like those feelings, that duplicity.

Happens and no one can escape it.

No, Well, the kids are ever present, aren't they. I mean they are in my mind always. I was just doing an interview earlier this morning, and my little one val asked me if I had just wink just once in the ensuing the interview. True, And I this was last night before I got on the plane to come here, and I said, I'll try and remember daring the live television in the morning is very very fast, and I'm talking about strife and I may not be able to squeeze it in, but I'll try.

And of course you get a wink. I know I forgot. Why don't you do it right now? We can send him the video. There you go, hi, baby.

But I you know, they are ever present and this is just that pool all the time, and I love it, like I want it. I want to feel like that about the kids. But when you've got to focus, you know, on something that's really intense, like a particular day at work as an actor might be very intense and ask a lot psychologically, and but you're still trying to work out the soccer run that makes sure someone at home in there don't don't forget to pick them up and

Yeah, but that's the thing that is beautifully relatable.

You know, we're like even sitting here doing this all today, we were like, okay, we're back to back, but I have to leave it this time because I have to go and get the kids.

So I was like, I might be walking out of the middle of an interview. Yeah that's today.

Yeah, yeah, we're.

Early in the day. But I said the same thing, and I was like, cool, you go and I'll just do it.

Like I don't have kids, I've got nothing to run home too. So I was like, that's the balance, right, But it also takes I think, and I say this, looking at you, Laura with Matt and your kids, makes a partner that's also willing to make some sacrifices to allow you to go back to work again.

It makes life a lot easier when you have a partner that shows up with parody and actually like does the parenting as well alongside you, and you're not left to do everything. I think for the people who have to experience that, that's a whole different ballgame. But yeah, I mean I think that there isn't a woman out there who is juggling motherhood alongside a career that wouldn't relate to those feelings.

Dyes, of course. Yeah.

Yeah, you want to care, you want to put as much I mean, I want to invest as much time in all my relationships, whether they're personal or professional, including the children. It's not easy to do that and I don't know if it's possible.

Now, Laura, we.

All know that my wedding is impending.

In the next.

Marriage, I know it's so shocking. Wait, what am I going to talk about once I'm married?

I don't know. Honestly, we're going to be content dry after that.

Well, I was thinking, I am very lucky that I have someone very close to me that is like the mother source of long term relationship.

But she's literally the mother sauce.

She's my mole relationships, my source of nutrients in the womb, my mom, Nicky Hockley Mom.

I have her on the.

Line because I wanted to get some advice from her mom.

Welcome to the pickup, Oh thank you. The reason why we say the mother source of all marital advice is because you've been married for forty eight years, nearly fifty years.

It'd be too hard to start again now.

Anyways, that's your advice, stick it out.

Do you know what I think people are lying if they say everything's gone smoothly so that long, because it doesn't.

Well, knowing that your little girl Britney is going to walk down the aisle soon, what would be if you could give some wedding advice or some marriage advice more than wedding advice.

What would it look like?

Well, look, I think sex, sex and sex is probably number one. I think every couple is different and every couple has their own unique way of making marriage works. But I guess the universal tip would be, you know, compromise a lot. I don't think there's any set rule for a successful marriage. I really don't. We're lucky, we get along really well. We always said we'd be best friends even if we didn't get married. Did you think that we're very lucky?

Was there every time that you guys thought maybe the marriage was over for some reason?

And I'm saying this based off like I wouldn't know.

I've never seen you guys argue, but I imagine over fifty years there's got.

To be points of there was a time. I think we both had our doubts. But you do have to work hard. You know that's an old expression as well, you have to work to make a marriage work, But you do, you have to work hard.

I always find it like so like inspiring when couples can say, you know, it's spiraled right down to the bottom and then we spiraled back up, and look at us now, you know, fifty years on and still able to you know, stay able to love each other, not just be you know, co parenting or co living together, cohabitating, but really like having a fulfilling relationship. I think that's something that's very very inspirational.

Also as an observer, I guess.

We spiral down and we spiraled up, and it was so worth it. It was so worth working to spiral up and get to the top again.

I do know that one thing that Dad said to me once was that some of the best times of your relationship came after the worst times, like after it was at the very bottom.

He said, if we didn't stick.

That out, we wouldn't have had the better parts that came later, which is I think.

You're right, and that is very true. I'd agree with that.

On a more superficial level, just as the observer, I'd probably say, like one of the keys your relationships was having your own living rooms because you watch your own TV shows, like they have two different TVs.

Mum watches a British crime.

Yeah, but we only do that now after children have gone. When they were little, when you were all little, we all the six of us that squashed up on one lounge and we're all made to watch something someone else wanted to watch. I mean, that's just a little thing, but it's true.

Do you know what I mean?

You can only hope have a long marriage like you and Dad had.

Do you know what? Knowing Ben and knowing you, I think you have got it. Actually, you two. I really believe that.

I do.

That makes you want to cry because you're never emotional and you never say anything nice to me.

Oh's ridiculous.

It makes me emotional because genuinely you are.

I genuinely believe that. I just think, as I said, knowing Ben and I know you, and I've seen you together, and I really believe you two are going to make it. I think you've got a lovely relationship.

He's my squid, all right than you feel squid.

I think that's all right. That's what was help for.

Thanks, Thanks for the advice, Nibby.

No worries, Laura or nice to talk to you, see nice to talk to you too, say you pretty, Bud, I love you, they go, brit All you got to do is yeah, some choice.

Advice is to start there, but also say sorry. I mean she's so cute.

They really are I do feel genuinely so lucky the family that I had, But my parents have set such a good example of what a relationship should be and how you should treat each other. Like to be thirty seven years old and who have not really seen the margin, knowing that they do, but they just do it their own way.

I think that's pretty cool.

So anyway, here's to a long, successful marriage for me.