It is time for one of the segments that Laura and I do every single week on our podcast Life Uncut. It is called Ask Uncut, and it's where you guys writing or you call up with your biggest, darkest, deepest problems and we give our best uneducated.
Don't about to say unsolicited, Well, it's kind of solicited. It's just not yeah, it's not qualified.
It's solicited.
It's just yeah, it's just not qualified. But we have today a bit of a predicament with Christie. She's been with a partner since she was eighteen years old, wants to know is she missing out?
Hey Christy, Hey yeah, look I love him so much, but I do think about all the years of kind of missed out on what my friends always talk about how old are?
If you're not my umy're asking like, how long you guys been together for?
I'm twenty nine, so it's been eleven years.
Wow, that's great these days you've been last that long?
I mean, what is it that your friends are saying you're missing out on? If you're saying you're in love with your partner and you're having a great time, like what the dating scene is not what people cut it out to be.
I don't know, there's a sort of manticize idea around just spreading your wild oats or whatever they're saying, is, you know, just getting out there and kind of having some fun and playing around. I mean, I love my partner and I'm glad I don't have to do that. But I'm like, you know, the grass is always green?
Do you know? I actually do understand what you're saying. You can be so in love and so happy, but when you haven't had any other experiences to compare it to, that's what plans the seed of doubt, because you're like, how do I know there's not better? How do I know that's not worse? How do I know there's not someone better suited? I understand why those feelings come. I do want you to know that the dating world is grim.
It's really grim.
It's probably not as good as people are making it out.
Do you know.
The thing is, no one wants to learn that lesson though, Like you're never going to break up from a great relationship with a person that you're saying that you love for the potential of going out there and just seeing if you get hurt and then realizing actually that was pretty good. Like that, it sounds like a terrible idea. If you're happy and he's great, it just means you got so lucky that you met someone so young that you didn't have to go through the trenches and kids are holy betose.
I agree, But I do think that there is something to not necessarily not wanting to be with your partner, but wanting different experiences. And maybe that's different sexual experiences. Maybe it's it's like I understand that that there's a thought for you saying, hey, maybe I'll just know one person intimately for my entire life. But that doesn't mean there can't be at least be a conversation with your partner on maybe they're feeling the same way. Maybe you
could open up the relationship. There are so many different ways to have a relationship now, but of course in that situation, it has to be a very consensual conversation, like it can't be one of you being like.
I'm opening it up, I'm going out.
Yeah, I don't know. I think we romanticize this idea of like the grass is greener. I mean, I have a really good friend of mine who she got married not lastly the other year before, and she's been with her partner since she was nineteen years old, only like first boyfriend, first sexual experience, all of that stuff. And I remember when we were in our early twenties and having this exact conversation with her, and we because we were also in her early twenties, and gave terrible advice.
We were like, yeah, it's weird to only be with one person your whole life. Now she's married with him, and thank god she didn't listen to us, because she's like, I just met my soulmate early and he's amazing, and I got so lucky.
Great for Sharon, and.
Then she should be for she witnessed me. Yeah, go through the trenches for ten years.
But is that what you think it is, Christy? You think like that you actually want to be stuff.
I could probably learn about myself if I was, But I don't know what that is, you know, And it's the unknown. And it's also spending too much time watching Sex in the City and Samantha.
No, no one wants to actually be Samantha.
That's also very produced.
She's a terrible hot mess.
It's not a reality show, it's fiction.
Christy. I think if you're happy and your partner is great to you and you honestly can say that you're in love with him, and I would not be giving or entertaining too much this idea that maybe there's something better out there.
Yes, it might not be.
No, I think best of both worlds. You can stay and also go to swingers club or the experience the best of both world you do what, Yeah, there's no normal. There's no normal, so there's ways that you can tick all your boxes.
Imagine if your partner after ten years was like I'd allowed to go to a swingers club.
I'd go, for sure, but I'd be the person just watches Yeah, like the creep from the corner, just like go and watch through like a little piggy.
Okay, if you want some terrible advice like that, please give us a call and you might end up on the show next week