Why Do People Think They Have To Do Life Alone? | EP 019

In this episode, Phil emphasizes the power of community. He says that being the dumbest (least experienced) person in a room full of more accomplished individuals is a good thing, as it pushes you to learn and grow. Phil shares personal experiences, including his military background, to highlight the value of facing challenges with a supportive group rather than alone. He criticizes the idea of solitary success and encourages us to form or join communities of like-minded individuals who are committed to growth and improvement. Phil insists that surrounding yourself with people who are more successful or knowledgeable in various aspects of life can significantly accelerate your personal and professional development.

Welcome to The Phil Bohol Show, hosted by USMC veteran, mindset coach, sales expert, self-made entrepreneur, husband, and father, Phil Bohol. On this podcast, we don't just offer strategies — we offer a war cry, a call to arms, a challenge to rise, to break free from the shackles of mediocrity. You’ll learn the raw truth on how to break your limitations, scale your business to 7-figures, and level up every area of your life. Together, we won't just face challenges. We will crush them. Relentlessly.


Timestamps:

(01:14) - Going Solo Isn't the Only Way

(03:14) - The Accelerating Power of Community

(06:56) - How Shared Wisdom Makes Problems 'Too Easy'

(08:43) - Surround Yourself with Giants

(11:03) - The Reality Check of Expanding Your Network

(13:30) - How To Fast-Track Your Growth

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Transcription:

[00:00:00] You want to be the dumbest person in the room, you want to be the person that's like the smallest, the lowest earner in the f*cking room. 

You can be in a room with like 7 figure earners, and you think you're hot sh*t, and everybody's an 8 figure earner, 9 figures, Jesus. 

And you're just like, “Oh sh*t, I don't know sh*t, I thought I knew sh*t. In comparison to like the six figure earners, I thought I knew sh*t.”

If you're a six figure earner, and you go in a room with a full of five figure earners, you're gonna be like, “Damn, I thought I was the sh*t. I make the most here.”

And then to them, they're making more money than the part timers. 

[00:00:30] Part timers are making more money than people that don't got jobs.

Everybody is the top of their game until they're not, until you enter the next room, until you get to the next level.

[00:01:00] What's going on you guys, it's Phil Bohol, and welcome to the Phil Bohol Show, where we have real talk about family, fitness, finance, and everything that would hold you back from leveling up in every area of your life. 

And more importantly, how I personally got through them. 

Everybody else in this world wants to bullsh*t you.

I'm here to give you the truth.

I don't know why so many people think that they have to go through this life alone. 

And I get it. 

You got pride, you got ego, you have things telling you that you got this. 

But like, why does that have to be normal? 

[00:01:30] Why does that have to be the way that you live? 

I remember when I was really coming out, when I was on my own.

10 years old, family split apart, started going on our separate ways, parents did stupid sh*t. 

And I was always looking for that, that pack. I was always looking for that tribe. 

So many different companies that I've tried to start at the beginning of my journey, many years ago, had to do with a pack had to do with the tribe had to do with wolves and the pack mentality and all of these things.

[00:02:00] And every time I had friends, I had associates, people, I'd always try to bring everybody together. 

And for some reason, people really do believe that you have to go through this life on your own, but why? 

Why do you feel like you have to go through this life alone? 

I don't give a sh*t where you're at, what level you're at.

Life is so much more fun when you have cool people to do cool sh*t with. 

Especially when they're on the same wavelength as you. 

[00:02:30] Now I'm not talking about doing life with people that say, “Hey, let's go f*cking smoke weed. Let's go drink. Let's go party all the time. Waste our time. Let's not do anything productive with our time.”

I'm not talking about those people.

I'm not talking about doing life with those people.

I'm talking about doing life with people who want to grow, want to evolve, that want to see what they're made of in this world, to see what type of change can they create in their own lives, in the world, for other people.

[00:03:00] When you surround yourself with people who just have this mentality of truly wanting to self actualize, truly wanting to see what they can accomplish in this one life they have to live, why would you want to just do that on your own? 

It's such a lonely path. 

And I think so many people have success all types of screwed up where they think that they have to like climb this mountain on their own.

And I've done it both ways. 

I've gone the route where it's just like me and myself and I'm just gonna keep trudging along. 

And I've done it where I've been part of a pack. 

And 10 times I'd rather do it with a pack. 

You still can achieve success 100%. 

[00:03:30] But there's kind of no point. 

You actually accelerate growth when you grow with other people.

It's one of the reasons why I built my tribe. 

I built my community because I knew that life alone is so much harder because what happens is when you're on your own, when you're out in the world by yourself and you have no community, you have no people, you don't have a tribe of people on the same path as you.

It's a lonely path. 

It's a dark path. 

And you're more likely to go into these like negative mental states. 

[00:04:00] When I was in the military, one of the biggest things I always felt grateful for was having my brothers. 

Always having people who understood what it meant to really embrace the suck together. 

To know that, as I suffer, I know that, like, all of these other men are suffering too.

And that suffering is what brought us together. 

And so what happens in this life, civilian life, people don't feel that way. 

[00:04:30] People are like, have so much ego and pride that they think that they have to go after things alone, but it's like, no, when you're a unit, when, when you have people, when you guys are like attacking a problem together, it's so much more fun.

And I don't know why people don't want to have fun in life. 

I think that people really do choose to live a miserable life. 

[00:05:00] Because if you were to drop all the bullsh*t that doesn't serve you, the ego, the pride, the vices, everything, the anger, the wrath, the spite, the sloth, the lust, all of it, you drop all of it, and you're just like a student to this game of life again, and you just absorb everything that life has to offer, you're still going to have to suffer.

You're still going to have to go through the hard times. 

You're still going to go through the darkness. 

You don't have to go about it alone. 

Think about, like, Lord of the Rings, okay? 

I don't even remember what the f*ck their names were. 

But there's a f*cking little guy that had a ring, and he had to go f*cking do something with it.

[00:05:30] Imagine if that whole movie was just him, by himself. 

How boring would that whole f*cking saga, or whatever that's called, how boring would it be?

What made it interesting was all the sh*t that happened with all the other people that he surrounded himself with, all the different scenarios. 

But what happened by the end of it is, I think, they crushed it.

I don't know how many more movies they made, but they crushed it. 

They crushed their goal together. 

They solved the problems together. 

[00:06:00] They accomplished the same mission from the different backgrounds they came from all together, and that's what made it easy to win. 

When I say easy, I don't mean that the path to winning was easy.

It was easy because they couldn't give up on themselves because they had other people they held themselves accountable to. 

They had other people inspiring them to move forward. 

And there's gonna be some stupid f*cks that say, “Hey, no, that means you're weak, that means you can't do it on your own.” 

Blah, blah, blah.

I've done it on my own, and I've done it with a pack. 

You can be strong enough to do it on your own. 

[00:06:30] And you can choose to enjoy the process with a pack, it doesn't, it doesn't take away.

It's like anytime you guys hear that, I want you to understand those are the smallest people that say sh*t like that because they don't get it.

That's why they're losing. 

There's no winner. 

That's ever going to say, yeah, just do it on your own. 

I think about the most successful people. 

They're always surrounded by other people, their tribe, their community. 

There are people who are winning with them. 

Why do you think like everybody has their people?

[00:07:00] There's so many times, guys, where you're gonna go and try to change your life, and you're gonna fail. 

You're gonna go, you try to change your life, you're gonna fail. 

You're gonna go, you're gonna try to change your body, you go to the gym, you fail. 

You're gonna go try to start a business, and you're gonna fail.

You're gonna go try to level up in your career, you're gonna fail. 

What happens, though, when you have people that, like, pick you up when you're down? 

[00:07:30] What happens, though, when you are, like, trying to come up with all the excuses why you should give up, and you have that one hard motherf*cker that's like, “Hey, stop being a bitch. Just f*cking do what you gotta do. Just keep pushing.” 

What happens when you have that one person that kicks you in the f*cking teeth when you need it? 

Not out of like hate. 

But out of like, wake the f*ck up, you're worth more than this bullsh*t that you're doing right now, stop doing this sh*t. 

What happens when you have that person that gives you the space that you need just to break down, cause that's what you need right now.

Doesn't it give you more permission to just be whoever you need to be in that moment? 

So that way you can dust yourself off and pick yourself back up and start moving again? 

[00:08:00] That's what it means to have that level of support. 

And I think people are just, it's too much. 

People would rather like operate from a place of ego and pride, and like lose, for life, than to run with a pack of wolves.

It's so dumb to me. 

It really is so dumb to me because you have a track record of just failing yourself all the time. 

[00:08:30] So why, why, why do you believe that you're going to be able to get yourself through the hard times faster than being surrounded with people from all different levels? 

People that have like way outperformed you, where if you bring your problem to the table, it's like it's nothing.

That's too easy. 

It's literally too easy to solve that problem. 

Imagine if you're surrounded by people like that who are just like, no, it's f*cking too easy. 

But what happens is I think people get lost in the sauce and they think that it would, it would make them look dumb to be in that position, to not be the smartest person in the room.

 

Guys, please, please be the dumbest person in the room. 

[00:09:00] The one thing that has always served me was making sure that I put myself in social environments and situations where like I wasn't the top guy. 

I've been the top guy in rooms and Jesus Christ. 

How f*cking boring. 

Like, when you go into those rooms, everybody just wants to talk to you, and everybody just wants from you.

And it's great, you know, you can give, and you can help them, and blah blah blah blah blah, and it's cool. 

But when you're on this journey and season of growth, you want to be the dumbest person in the room. 

[00:09:30] You want to be the person that's like the smallest, the lowest earner in the f*cking room.

You can be in a room with like seven figure earners, and you think you're hot sh*t, and everybody's an eight figure earner, nine figures. 

Jesus. 

And you're just like, “Oh, sh*t. I don't know sh*t. I thought I knew sh*t in comparison to like the six figure earners. I thought I knew sh*t.” 

If you're a six figure earner and you go in a room with a full of five figure earners, you're gonna be like, “Damn, I thought I was the sh*t.”

I make the most here. 

And then to them, they're making more money than the part timers part timers are making more money than people that don't got jobs. 

[00:10:00] Everybody is the top of their game until they're not until you enter the next room, until you get to the next level. 

But just imagine what would happen to your ability to rise to the next level.

[00:10:30] If you did it with a group of people, where everybody grows at different levels, at different speeds, in different areas of life, in different areas of business, and like you just mastermind all the time, and you, you probably know people you can do this with right now, go f*cking do it, go do it, ask them, invite them, even if it's just two of you, three of you, get people that you know are like, pushing to win in life, and like, create a community, a tribe, even if it's just two or three of you.

Weekly, mastermind with each other. 

See, like, what went well, what didn't go well. 

What's all of this sh*t that they're working on? 

What are you working on? 

[00:11:00] Put value into the pot. 

Teach each other. 

Why is it, why do I have to even teach this to you guys? 

It's crazy to me that, like, this doesn't naturally register.

You guys wanna know how I built my network? 

Of, of millionaires? 

Sh*t like this. 

Literally just wanting to give value to everybody all the time. 

Literally, like, not wanting to do anything but to grow. 

Wanting to contribute. 

[00:11:30] Wanting to have a reason to do what the f*ck I'm doing. 

And because of that, people always saw me as that helpful guy.

The guy that always wanted to solve problems. 

The guy that's always in I'm always down to do whatever the f*ck we need to do. 

And you think that there's something special about what I do? 

There's nothing special. 

I just do the things that are valuable. 

All the time. 

That's how I spend my time. 

[00:12:00] You guys get too f*cking complacent being okay with the people you've been surrounding yourself with that don't serve you, that aren't in it for growth, that aren't trying to change their life.

They're just like, good, we'll just play lottery tickets all day. 

We'll just drink all the time, we'll just smoke all the time. 

We won't even level up or push ourselves all the time. 

Or maybe you are the top of the pack right now. 

Like, you're gonna let it get to your head so much that like you're the top of your game and you're just like, “Yeah, I'm f*cking crushing like six figures. I'm like crushing it.” 

And then you come up to somebody that's like, I make that in a month, like the f*ck are you talking about, you're crushing it? 

[00:12:30] It takes you a year to make six figures? 

The f*ck is that? 

Imagine what's going to happen to your paradigm. 

You'd be like, “Oh sh*t, I didn't know people can make that amount of money and I'm f*cking month.”

But then when you get into a room of people that I can actually make seven figures in a year and more. 

Then you're not that hot sh*t. 

[00:13:00] But imagine if it took you a decade to realize that there's bigger rooms out there and that you're not hot sh*t and you're not the biggest, baddest motherf*cker, because you're just used to your social circle right now.

And then when you get to the top of your social circle, what happens? 

You start leading the social circle. 

And again, you're back on your own. 

Nobody's challenging you. 

Nobody's holding you accountable. 

You're not seeing what's possible. 

You don't see anybody else winning because you're surrounding yourself.

If you're a 10, you're surrounding yourselves with 3s and 4s. 

Because those people are never going to level up. 

You know that. 

I know that. 

Don't go after this life and wanting to succeed in this life on your own.

If you want to really crush it in life and like, collapse the amount of time that it takes for you to get to the level that you're really going to be proud of yourself, you gotta run with a pack of wolves. 

You gotta run with a tribe, you have to run with a community, a good community of people that you know hustle, that you know outperform themselves, that you know will never settle for the life that they have because they know that they have the potential to reach greater heights.

[00:14:00] Stop listening to the sheep of the world and getting lost because that's time you're never going to get back. 

And if you can only see what I see. 

Cause when I talk to my clients, I'm like, “Damn. Do you not see what I see in you? You could be, you can have, you can do so much more than you even realize. You can be, you can have, you can do so much more than you even think you're capable of.”

[00:14:30] And even by just listening to this, I hope you really do take me seriously. 

I hope you end this and you're just like, “Damn, like, do, am I, can I, I mean, may, I don't know, maybe.” 

[00:15:00] Even just that's life changing because the moment it enters your mind that it's possible whether you take action on it now or wait a month, wait a year, wait 10, it's going to constantly be on your mind to see what you're capable of to see if that thought can actually be a reality and that is life changing when you decide, “I'm not going to wait 10 years. I'm not going to wait one year. I don't even want to wait a month. I want to see, like, if Phil said that this is possible for little old me, and all I have to do is get into bigger rooms and start doing things that are scary to me, I guess I'm going to see what happens.” 

And you just see what happens.

You just see where that f*cking road takes you. 

[00:15:30] My god, in 365 days, you're going to be so surprised about how you got to where you got to. 

That your entire life changed because you changed up here, you decided to believe in you, you decided to go all in on you, you decided to run with a pack of wolves, that will call you to the next level, that will keep running.

When you think you're tired and you see them, you're just like, “Jesus. They don't even look tired.” 

And it inspires you. 

Wait for that time. 

[00:16:00] And it's again, your choice. 

You can either wait a day, you can wait a week, you can wait a month, you can wait a year. 

It's up to you at the end of the day how long and how much time you want to waste until you actually see what you're capable of.

You can do it on your own, or you can plug into a tribe. 

Find your tribe, plug in, believe in you, you got this.

That's the show. 

[00:16:30] Don't just listen to everything I just f*cking said and do nothing with it. 

Take everything you learned, go out and execute. 

Send it.