Generational Curses | EP 002

In this episode, Phil takes us through his journey of overcoming the challenges of generational curses. He opens up about his own experiences growing up in a troubled family environment and his commitment to creating a better life for his kids. Phil discusses his struggles with self-worth and his path to learning how to value himself. He emphasizes the importance of healing from the past and making positive changes for the future. This is an inspiring episode where Phil reflects on facing difficult family issues head-on and his determination to break the cycle for the next generation.

Welcome to The Phil Bohol Show, hosted by USMC veteran, mindset coach, sales expert, self-made entrepreneur, husband, and father, Phil Bohol. On this podcast, we don't just offer strategies — we offer a war cry, a call to arms, a challenge to rise, to break free from the shackles of mediocrity. You’ll learn the raw truth on how to break your limitations, scale your business to 7-figures, and level up every area of your life. Together, we won't just face challenges. We will crush them. Relentlessly.



Timestamps:

(00:55) - What are generational curses?

(09:34) - What it takes to break the curse.

(14:35) - Making your life count.

(16:28) - Taking control of your life.

(19:20) - Your higher calling.

(22:20) - Preparing for war.

(25:27) - Remember this on your journey.



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Transcription:

[00:00:00] Most people don't even realize there is a generational curse. 

Most people don't even realize that what they experienced in their life was not normal. 

Most people will never realize that they have the power to change it. 

Most people never realize that unfortunately, their children will experience the same thing they did because they weren't aware enough to know that there was something wrong in the first place.

[00:00:30] But if you are one of the few, what they call the black sheep, the one in the family that could change things… just be prepared for a battle.

Today we're going to be talking about generational curses. 

[00:01:00] If you're not familiar with what that means, think about all of the toxic events in your life. 

Think about your family. 

Think about all the turmoil you've ever experienced. 

Think about all of the times in your life where you questioned, “Is this how it's supposed to be?

Is this how it's supposed to be with my parents? 

Is this how it's supposed to feel? 

To be part of this family? 

Is this what family is? 

Is this what bonding is supposed to feel like? 

[00:01:30] Is there even a bond present?” 

I don't know about you guys, but at least in my family, (I don't know if this is a Filipino cultural thing, I don't know if this is just my family) 

I don't know if this is just families in general, but what I'm finding as I continue this Journey of personal development is there's so many things in my life that I've blacked out. 

[00:02:00] There's so many times in my life

Since I was 10 years old, when my mother decided to break the news to me and my siblings that our family was breaking apart…

Dad was cheating on mom, mom figured it out, found out… 

And this is right after I wrote this huge long beautiful letter of my dad being my hero.

And I remember it so vividly. 

There's a neon green couch that we got from IKEA. 

I was wrapped up in a little blanket. 

[00:02:30] And when I heard this news, I just kept thinking about that letter I put my heart and soul into that day. 

And I just remember putting that blanket over my head, covering my face, and then just falling to the side and just completely breaking down.

It's like everything shattered for me. 

And this dream life that I lived after coming from the Philippines to the United States. 

It was a dream. 

It was like something you only ever see in the movies. 

Like we didn't have a mansion. 

[00:03:00] We had a, probably $150,000.00, house in Arizona, but that was a beautiful life. 

And after that, at 10 years old, I went into a very dark place.

Now there are remnants of the past I don't really recall because a lot of that was blacked out, my subconscious trying to protect me emotionally. 

[00:03:30] And as I continue to do the inner work, investing $700,000.00 into myself, to find who I am at my core, what I found is one of the biggest curses in my family is the word “family”.

It's the definition of family and what I perceive to be true.

[00:04:00] See, for me, normal was making sure that your parents were always happy with you. 

My normal was always making sure I did the sports, I took the action, I did the things that actually made my dad look at me, want to spend time with me.

Because if I wasn't doing those things, if I wasn't playing basketball, if I didn't get into motocross, if I wasn't playing the drums, unless I was doing those activities, my father actually never spent time with me.

Now that I think back, there wasn't really a time where we just went to the park for the sake of going to the park. 

[00:04:30] I don't remember a time where he's ever just taken me out for ice cream just for the sake of having ice cream. 

I don't remember going to do any type of extracurricular activity just for the sake of bonding and spending time.

And I always put it that he was dealing a lot with money, divorce and all, and that was a messy time.

[00:05:00] So over the years, I've normalized finding a reason why my father was the way that he was. 

The crazy part is, 20 years later, we finally started establishing some type of connection and bond. 

But, because of how successful I'm becoming in my businesses, money became this thing again.

And because money got in the way, just like 20 years ago, my father dropped me again. 

[00:05:30] From his life. 

And the weird part about it is I'm still figuring and processing through the emotions of it.

Is it normal to feel like you're to blame? 

I was talking to my therapist and he mentioned to me that, It's not actually my responsibility to heal my father because I'm not his father.

And the craziest part about generational curses is like, you don't even know that it's a curse. 

[00:06:00] You've normalized it so much in your life that it just is what life is. 

And so when you're like me, and you become that person in your bloodline that takes the hard path, that changes their operating system, changes how they view the world, changes the healing patterns, to break the patterns.

[00:06:30] It's a lot. 

It's a lot to ask yourself, “why doesn't my dad want a relationship with me?”

Why doesn't he want that bond? 

I mean, I have two daughters right now, and I give everything, every day, just to feel their embrace, talk to them, bond with them, make sure they know I love them. 

[00:07:00] Just being present, being there.

And for my whole life, whether I want to admit it or not, I long for that from my parents. 

I long for that from my father.

But unfortunately, what they say about people hurting people is very true. 

You know, this is maybe love that he's never received, so the only thing he knows is how to be that. 

And the part that hurts the most is accepting that maybe life will be a life without him. 

[00:07:30] That if it's not my burden to bear to heal him, then I have to also accept that for me to enter the next evolution in my life, it has to be without the people that no longer serve a purpose, who only take and take and take.

And you might be experiencing this in your life. 

You might have experienced this in your life. 

[00:08:00] You might be confused about it. 

You might still feel some type of guilt or resentment or shame that it went out to be this way.

But the reality is, if you really think about it, don't you deserve to live a happy life? 

Don't you deserve to have people in your life that want to fight to be in your life? 

[00:08:30] Don't you deserve that? 

Aren't you worthy of that? 

See, I think coming from a Filipino family, I think coming from a third world country, I deal with a lot of self worth issues.

You might see me have the Rolex on, you might see me with my Lambo, you might see me level up in my life, have the house, have the awards, have all the materialistic things. 

But the truth is, the reason why I have all of this stuff, It's because I'm constantly practicing how to value myself, that I'm worthy of having whatever I want.

[00:09:00] Because it feels like one of the biggest curses in my family is just not being selfish.

It's just actually appreciating and being grateful for people in your life, that they are in your life.

[00:09:30] See, one of the things that I've learned being a coach, being a mentor and a guide, a senior to others, I give to the world what I never received. 

I give to the world everything I wish I had, everything I wish I got. 

Because I know how much it hurts not to have it. 

But who you have to become to break generational curses requires you to think far bigger than yourself, far bigger than your own family right now.

[00:10:00] It requires you to think about the future generations.

And how, if your bloodline was on a downhill spiral, and at the point in which you live, the fifty to a hundred years that you live, is that turning point that every generation will be able to see. 

It's a lot.

[00:10:30] It's a lot because you have to hold yourself to such a high standard that nobody would understand. 

It's a lot because you won't even understand what's required of you until you get there.

And there's a part of you that just wants to break down and just stop. 

There's gonna be a huge part of you that's just like, man…

I think I did my part. 

[00:11:00] I think that was good enough for what I've been able to do so far.

And then that purpose calls to you again. 

And you hear the voice of God. 

The universe calls to you. 

You gotta keep pushing. 

You're meant for something. 

You're supposed to be great. 

[00:11:30] And to achieve that greatness, it requires you to heal all the parts that are broken.

To gain the wisdom that can heal so many other people.

And most people will never understand this. 

Most people are so caught up in the emotions of everything. 

[00:12:00] They don't realize they have a much bigger purpose.

And if you've ever experienced this in your family, you've experienced a lot of hurt and a lot of pain, but you allow yourself to see what the lessons are that God is trying to teach you, you'll realize there's something more you're supposed to do. 

It's bigger than us. 

Our bloodlines will remember what we've done. 

[00:12:30] Every day we have to live a life of purpose. 

It's what I choose to define this journey. 

It's hard to look at your life and say, “Man, I had to go through that. 

I had to experience that. 

I have to experience more. 

[00:13:00] Have I not given enough yet?

When is it going to be enough?”

What I want you to understand is everything that you give is enough. 

It's a lot. 

And you can stop at any time.

[00:13:30] You've carried the bloodline far enough. 

But the question is, are you looking for the time where you've given enough, or are you willing to be the person that just goes as far as they can go?

For me, the longer I burden the responsibility, the less my children will have to.

[00:14:00] The shorter their journey will have to be in this entire process. 

And in the one life that I have to live, in the one life, if I can take us as close to the finish line as I can, I can finally do something good with my life. 

[00:14:30] Something meaningful.

When we think about the thing that God has given us, these fingerprints that are unique to us, nobody in the past has ever had these fingerprints. 

Nobody in the future ever will. 

[00:15:00] And if it's true that nobody in the past has ever had these fingerprints, and nobody in the future ever will, that means the imprint that we leave in this world is the only imprint we can leave.

So we have to make it count. 

And it's a lot. 

And there's gonna be some times where you think you're crazy. 

There's gonna be some times where you question, “Why am I doing the things that I'm doing? 

[00:15:30] Why am I taking these steps? 

Why am I taking the hard path when I can live just the easier life, I don't have to burden this and I can just live, I can be free. 

You could.

For me, I feel empty in those times. 

To know that I have the potential to do so much good for my people, for the world, and everybody that I touch in this entire process.

[00:16:00] What a waste it would be to never experience that version of me. 

What a waste it would be for you to never know who you could be.

[00:16:30] And in our upbringing, sometimes that ember that we can cultivate into a flame, it goes away. 

The curse makes us believe that that's it. 

This is how life is supposed to be. 

And we have to be the crazy ones that genuinely believe that it doesn't have to be this way. 

That we can write our history. 

We can write our story.

[00:17:00]  We can rewrite our story. 

We have control. 

And in the days where we want to give up, and questions and fears and doubts, they just take over us. 

We can't even trust ourselves in those moments. 

This is where you fall back on your faith. 

This is where you surrender to something much bigger than you. 

[00:17:30] To realize that everything that you were supposed to accomplish in this life has already been written. 

How you experience it, and how you get there, that's the part that you can control. 

If you're willing to sacrifice and pay the price to burden that, because most people would be afraid. 

So when we think about free will, you have the choice.

[00:18:00] Do we play victim? 

Do we just experience life this way, never being able to self actualize, never being able to experience what life could be? 

Do we play that victim? 

Or do we choose the hard path? 

Do we choose the path that requires us to become more than we've ever been? 

[00:18:30] To forgive more than our hearts have the space for right now, and believe that we can create more space.

To calm the chaos in the mind, in the body, in the spirit, in the heart.

To experience pain and heartache and choose to believe that that pain can mean something. 

We can define it to mean something. 

We can turn it into good.

[00:19:00] I think that a life where we understand that it doesn't have to be this way, where we understand that we can change everything in life, I believe that's the purpose. 

I believe that we can prove to ourselves that there's something lying dormant in us, much more powerful than we realize.

[00:19:30] And if we spend our entire life seeking to unlock that part of us, our purpose, our higher calling, we can get to the end of this journey of life and we can be proud that there was a turning point in our life that the rest of our bloodline will be able to, without a doubt, know,  

[00:20:00] “You changed everything for us.” 

And when your children, and your children's children, talk about you, and tell stories of you, and their children, and their children, and their children, it's when everything changes for everybody.

And then you teach them the habits, you teach them the ways of communication, you teach them how to connect with themselves, with each other, to carry on the legacy.

[00:20:30] If it's true that “Strong men create easy times. Easy times create weak men, and weak men create hard times”, it's important to know that the curses of generations can come back up. 

[00:21:00] It's like if you gave all of your wealth to your children, but you never taught them financial literacy, or how to view money, how to understand money, they will lose it all.

And if not them, their children. 

As you continue on in your life, I want you to think about the type of family, the type of legacy, the type of people that you're helping create today. 

[00:21:30] By the habits, by the discipline, by the mentality, by the heart that you're setting as an example. 

If it was generations from now and you could come back to experience the world after you left it, what would make you just so proud? 

[00:22:00] That you spent that one life you had to live to help cultivate that.

Breaking generational curses requires a specific type of person. 

It's not for most. 

[00:22:30] Most people don't even realize there is a generational curse. 

Most people don't even realize that what they experienced in their life was not normal. 

Most people will never realize that they have the power to change it.

Most people never realize that unfortunately their children will experience the same thing they did because they weren't aware enough to know that there was something wrong in the first place. 

[00:23:00] But if you are one of the few, what they call the black sheep, the one in the family that could change things, just be prepared for a battle.

Be prepared for a war.

And be prepared to really find yourself. 

Be prepared to give everything you are and everything you got. 

[00:23:30] And that sometimes, these battles, these wars, these fights, they're not going to be fair. 

You will be kicked when you're down, you'll finally start finding peace, and those you love will take from you.

And it will require you to continue to be the best version of you during those times. 

[00:24:00] To continue to be an example. 

To live truly in congruency with the vision that you have of the future you want to create.

And the hardest part, I think for most people will be, as you break generational curses, you have to realize the rest of that family that you have, everything to them also seems normal. 

[00:24:30] So for you to start actualizing change will trigger things in some of those family members, some of those friends, and you will no longer have that love or support.

And then there will be some that feel the conviction you have. 

They'll also hear the calling. 

Realize who is who, protect your energy, protect your space, and take your time. 

 [00:25:00] This is a lifelong mission. 

This is not something that's going to be fixed overnight.

And you're going to have to go through all of the highs and equally as many lows if not more.

And you're just going to continue to be challenged. 

And what I want for you, as you become this world changer, the person who changes the trajectory of their bloodline to heal yourself in the process.

[00:25:30] To surrender when it's time to have faith. 

To believe in self and believe in your path. 

That everything that you're doing is for a purpose. 

[00:26:00] Even if nobody else believes you. 

And even if sometimes you doubt yourself, document your journey.

Show your heart to the world. 

And just be prepared.

But that also means you can be prepared to be proud. 

Daily. 

That you are that person in your family.

[00:26:30] And it will evoke change in everybody else that you ever meet in your life and you got to keep on keeping on. 

Find the others that are just like you in this world. 

Connect. 

So that way you know you're not on this path by yourself. 

Remember that you attract what you are. 

[00:27:00] The more you practice this, the more you will find more people that want to be that for their families too.

Stay focused, dig deep, and always remember what you're doing this for, and who you're doing this for. 

And every day, live and show proof. 

Be the example for everybody in the world, and your family. 

[00:27:30] Because that's where it starts, and everybody, including yourself, will sense that change. 

Be proud. 

You got it.