Everyone, it's Carli Taylor here for this week's Mojo Monday. So last week was part one of our series of becoming mentally Fit, and we talked about the importance of size. This week we're diving into part two and today it's all about my favorite subject, which is mindset. And it's not the common just think positive kind of way, which
of course can help in the short term. But today we're going to get really real and practical and talk about mindset in an One of the most important parts of mindset is something called psychological flexibility, and this comes from a therapeutic approach I use in my coaching called ACT, which is Acceptance and Commitment therapy. And the idea is pretty simple. To explain a lot skill you have to practice, but to put it kind of in a simple way so you can understand it. Life throws us stuff all
the time. We will always go through some sort of situation and then we have thoughts and emotions that come up. And this happens on a continual base. And some of these situations are just the blaff every day stuff. Say, for example, someone's left dirty dishes at the side of the sink, which is one of my pet hates, and there's thoughts that come up around that, like who the
hell left those there? And maybe a bit of frustration right like the sun is shining today, so you think about all the things that you can do outside, and maybe that brings you a sense of joy. And then some of the situations in life are really hard, and of course there's a spectrum of heart and there are
endless examples. I guess an example for me is the one that I use BEQ, which is my son getting a rare disease, and that was a really hard situation, so of course all these thoughts came up, like what if this happens? What if that happens? And the fear and the anxiety and the intense emotions that swirled around in my body at that time. So most of you will have your own examples of all three of these kind of levels of situations and thoughts and feelings that
come up. So psychological flexibility is the skill of noticing what's going on inside you when things happen, so your thoughts and without being bossed around by them. So it's an ability to stay connected to what really matters most and then take action even when your mind is telling you to avoid or give up or run away. And here's the thing. Everyone feels every day where nervous, anxious, angry, uncertain, or flat sometimes so. But emotions like anxiety, for example,
they're not signs that something is wrong with you. And I've said this many times. They're just part of being human. They might even be trying to tell you something important, because you don't want to start fighting with emotions if there's a really important message there. So maybe you're anxious because you really care and it's telling you to do something because that's something matters. And if we allow it, our default response, which will be saying equotions because they're
uncomfortable and painful, means there's no mental flexibility there. But what if we said yes to them, allowed them to be there, to ebb and flow while we take action and get on with living authentically according to our values, according to what's important. So I'll give you an example
of this. When I was younger, and I'm talking, you know, as a teenager and in my twenties and thirties, I really struggled with that self talk, with the belief that I wasn't good enough, and that voice in my head would pop up before and big things, so presentations, hard conversations, anything like parties, anything that felt like there was a
risk there. And there are many examples that I did allow those thoughts to stop me, and that psychological rigidity, letting your thoughts and emotions when there actually are other options.
But over time I learned to do something different. I learned to notice those thoughts, feel the emotions and move forward anyway, and that psychological flexibility and I would not be doing this presentations or doing CrossFit or you know, I traveled a lot on my own when I was younger if I had given in to those thoughts and emotions. We need to get flexible in our minds, just like
our bodies, and that takes training. And I can tell you if you do mind, it will make a huge difference in your life and you will have plenty to be proud of. So how do we build psychological flexibility? The first thing to do is to notice your thoughts and notice your emotions, so you become the noticer. What is your Mind's a hard? So just think about that. Now you know something hard has happened in your life recently, what is your mind? Say? You know, mind still defaults
to know. It's just still defaults to you're not good enough, and it probably always will, so you've got to name it. And it's like you say, ah, there's that old there's that story that I'm not good enough. So you're noticing what is going on internally, and then you check in with your values what actually really matters here. And I'll
give you an example of this. My daughter went backpacking last year, right after her year twelve, literally a week or so after those poor girls got poisoned in last and that town was the destination that my daughter was going to first. So of course my mind went crazy
and it was don't let her go. And I had to notice that values as a mother, which we're clashing at this point because obviously I have a value of keeping my daughter safe and I went into protective mode, but I also needed to let her go on that adventure to become independent and to trust that she would avoid anything that put her at risk what was going on over there. So you can see that value of
letting go, of allowing her to develop this independence. I had to follow that rather than what the chatter was in my mind. And then the third thing is to take one small so even if it's uncomfortable, and I guess that was me letting her go. So even if you don't feel ready, you know, maybe it's you want to go for a job interview, or maybe you want to do a presentation or write a book or whatever
it is. It's especially if you don't feel ready, take that tore in a small wheelie bag and drag it behind you while you get on with living your life. So there's a mantra that I often come back to when I'm feeling stuck in my head and it's hard to take action. And that mantra is lead with the body. With this from Greg Creech, who's my teacher in Japanese psychology over at the Toto Institute, and I like to actually take it one step further, so it's lead with
the body and the mind will follow. Because so often it's action that shifts our mindset, not the other way round. Move even just a little things that once felt out of reach now start to feel possible, you know, Doubts begin to fade away, and confidence starts to build, not because we thought our way there, but because we acted our way there. Flexible mindset isn't about avoiding the stress
or pushing away any uncomfortable emotions. It's about learning how to respond to them in a way that moves you closer to the life that you want to live. So this week, pay attention to how you respond getting stuck in old thought loops, waiting until you feel ready. Are your feelings ruling your life because that is a choice. So you can lead with the body and then the mind will follow. So be willing to feel and still take a step forward. So that's the work, and that's
what builds mental fitness. So thank you so much for joining me this week. I actually thought next week we could do another one on mindset and I'm thinking of having a special guest on the King of Mindset. If I can pin him down, we can have a chat with him about his PhD, which is all about mindset and I think you'll find it really interesting. So until then, have a great week and I will catch you next week. See ya.