Finding Happiness in Your Own Path: Freeing Yourself from Comparison

It is your host , your boy , your main man , whatever you want to refer to me as It's , dg Derek . I appreciate you taking time to hang out with me and help yourself along your journey . You see the title of this and if you have a pulse , if you have a heartbeat , if you have any life in you , i can guarantee that you are guilty of this comparison .

Comparison . I forgot who said it . We've heard this plenty of times that comparison is the thief of all joy . Well , the way you know , the way I am , the Sagittarius in me wants to go deeper . That ain't good enough . I know , it's the comparison of all joy , but why ? Sorry , it's the thief of all joy , but why is it the thief ? Why do we compare ?

When do we start this ? When you see , this is the way I work . So I was in a shower , because that's where I do my . I call it my think tank . That's where some of the some of the downloads come in . And I'm sitting here thinking about , like , what can I do an episode on ? What can I do an episode on ? And I realized we're all guilty of it .

We're all guilty of comparing ourselves to something or someone else . So I say , why ? why do we do this ? And comparison , if we don't already know , is just us using the higher faculty of our mind that we call memory .

And memory was the tool that we use to essentially create this thing called the past , so we could look back on it and learn from experiences , so we can continue to grow and evolve as a non-physical being in this physical incarnation .

But there the mind on the mental plane ends up segmenting and fragmenting itself into a part that we refer to as the ego or the ego self . And now that faculty of mind is now being hijacked by this thing called the ego .

So now , instead of using it to learn lessons and using it to invoke gratitude , i'm using memory to compare myself today to something that was yesterday or to what someone else may be doing . Or maybe I'm using memory to invoke shame , or maybe I'm using memory to invoke guilt or regret . This is the misuse of this higher faculty of mind called memory .

So I'm sitting here thinking , i'm like if comparison is the thief of all joy . We know that joy can only be obtained in this present moment .

We know that joys actually are inherent nature , meaning you didn't have to do anything , you didn't have to have anything , you didn't have to accomplish anything to experience this thing called joy , because that's what you naturally were when you came out of your mother's womb . It was peace , it was love , it was joy , it was contentment .

I never will forget When I had a psychedelic experience on psilocybin , i had a ceremony . The thing that I wrote from my notes was I felt like an eight month old baby . I had this wonderment . Everything was new . Why ? Because for that four hours there was no ego self .

So I was experiencing this thing called reality without pulling from what was or shaming myself for what it's not . I wasn't using this faculty of memory , or I wasn't using this faculty of imagination to create the future . I was just being . So . Here's my point Comparison here .

When I say this it's not bad , because nothing's bad , nothing is good , you can actually use comparison as a way to continue to evolve and gain awareness of yourself , but understand what comparison is . More importantly , understanding what the energy behind you comparing is . That's the important thing .

Am I comparing myself to someone else because , subconsciously , i feel as though I am unworthy . So now , because I feel subconsciously that I am unworthy , my RAS , my reticular activity system , is now seeking any way to affirm what the subconscious program says of unworthiness .

So here's what ends up happening when I'm learning with a lot of people that I work with , we get programmed to compare ourselves to somebody else . We get cut program to look at what somebody else has or what somebody else is doing .

So now , because we're programmed as this , this is essentially the energy of shame , the energy of not being enough , the energy of the lack of self validation , self approval . So now , guess what ends up happening . You spend the rest of your waking day looking to affirm that you are unworthy , that you are not enough , that you have not validated yourself .

So now , guess what ends up happening . We end up creating this narrative in our mind . So now I look at the car that he just got and I'll compare it to the car that I have . And now I'm saying , well , he's , well , he got that and I only have this . And now we're invoking this next energy , this toxic energy that we call jealousy .

You know what jealousy is ? What do you call it ? A monster or something like that ? a green Jealousy ? all it is is saying you have something that I want that I don't believe I'm worthy of having . That's what it means to be jealous . This is what and this is just a manifestation from comparison .

If we wanna get rid of comparing ourselves to someone else , we have to embrace our uniqueness Uniqueness . Do you understand what the word unique , the word unique has you and I in it . Oh good , god Almighty . I didn't wanna start preaching , but here we go . I didn't wanna start doing it , but here we go . The word unique has you and I in it .

Just like university , just like unicorn , just like unicycle you and I . That means one one . You are a one of one .

This is why comparison was nonsense , because there was nothing to compare yourself to . So I'm sitting here comparing myself . I'm comparing my own individual experience that I call life . I'm comparing myself to what somebody else is doing . Why would I ever do that When I'm literally in my own universe ? It was just me . There was no comparison .

So good , god Almighty . This is why , when I look at you , i tell you something . I tell you that you were perfect , because this is what perfection was . Perfection meant there was no comparison , and because you are unique , because there is just one of you , you were perfect . There was nothing to compare yourself to . Do we understand how this works ?

We got so programmed , though , that if you weren't comparing yourself , if you weren't keeping up with the Joneses , if your life didn't look this way at this age and you didn't have a spouse and you weren't married and you didn't have this much in your bank account and your kids didn't go to have this much in their savings account for college and you didn't go

and get this degree and you didn't do if you had not done that , then you wouldn't be on the right track . You see what we've just done ? We have literally programmed an entire society to believe that their life was supposed to be some cookie cutter template when we were all living in our own effing universe . So now , what do I say that ?

Because if you're comparing yourself to somebody , that just means , my friend , that you have forgotten . You have forgotten what you truly were , which was okay , because this is what this journey was . It was a journey of you remembering . But you forgot for this iteration that there could not have been anything or anyone to compare yourself to .

There could not have been another one of you , because you were just the one thing that was experiencing all of these different perspectives and you could not compare one perspective to the other . That was not your responsibility . That was universal consciousness' responsibility of experiencing the different perspectives and then seeing what they were like .

It was not meant to compare to then put one above the other . It was meant in comparison so it could learn more about itself through itself , in these new perspectives . You see how this works .

So for you , along your journey and I realize why you know I'm comparing myself at times , i'm well , he's doing that , and he's doing this , and he's doing this , and she's got that and she's I had to step back and look at the energy behind why , and then I realized what it was .

It was this little boy , this little boy deep inside of me , that had just taken on this new conditioning , this new program , this new subconscious thought loop . That comparison was actually how it found its worth .

So if I could be more than someone else , then that would make me enough , but unfortunately , like most children in this world , we get conditioned to compare ourselves , to put ourselves below someone else . The key was understanding that you were never better than someone and you were never worse or lower than someone . It could not be .

This , my friends , is what we call humility . It's recognizing recognizing that you were the one thing , but that did not make you better or worse than anyone else . So this is why you're supposed to look yourself in the mirror and tell yourself that you were the goat .

This is why you were supposed to look yourself in the mirror and say I often love you , you are amazing , you can do anything , you are powerful .

You were supposed to look yourself in the mirror and self validate and self approve of yourself , so you would not have to compare unconsciously through the ego for you to start to establish your validation or your approval or your worthiness . But we got conditioned that this is us being cocky , this is us being arrogant , this is us being conceited .

No , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no . Let's go ahead and let's go ahead and shoot that down .

You were always supposed to be your biggest and loudest cheerleader , but that did not mean or make you better than someone else , because they , too , were supposed to do the same thing , i will champion you at the same rate , in the same level that I champion myself . I can remember .

I can remember before I even really started this journey , i would get jealous . I get jealous when I see somebody else doing something . Now I look at somebody else and say , man , you go do it , go do it bro . I'm telling you go do it , you can do it , go do it . Why am I saying that ? Because he's just a reflection of me .

She's just a reflection of me . I'm actually talking to myself . I'm speaking to myself when I'm saying that because I've come to learn and , sorry , i've come to love myself without conditions , meaning I don't need a reason for me to be enough now . Now I can do the same with you .

So this is why I tell you your journey of healing , your journey of understanding you , your journey of going back and dealing with who you are truly and reconciling .

Going back and telling that child who grew up with a program , who grew up and got conditioned unconsciously that he or she had to be at this level , comparatively speaking to someone else , and then they would be enough . That is the version of you that you need to go back and deal with .

That is the one who's comparing My son , my son , my son , my son's in fourth grade and I can see him already comparing . My second grader's not there yet . I told you about the little kindergarten who lives down the street . She doesn't do it yet . I said , oh , oh , no , no , it's getting a hold of this , society's getting a hold of it .

So now it's my responsibility to not compare myself , to teach him not to compare himself . He was worried and upset about the testing that he had to do when he said I'm taking too long . And I said you're taking too long compared to who ? Where did you get this standard ? Where did you get this standard ? Where did this come from ?

And he didn't even realize that this was unconscious , right ? So why am I saying this ? Because you can always use this faculty of your mind called memory to go back and patch up some things that were done unconsciously . So now you can start to live a little bit more consciously . I'm telling you right now don't you compare your body to anybody else .

That was your body . That was your body . That was your body . It was your car , it was your vessel , it was your vehicle for this incarnation . It was your meat sack , it was your tool that you were going to use to create and manipulate this reality . So you should not compare it to anyone else . There is nothing to compare it to , you see .

So comparison is the thief of all joy , because joy could only be obtained in the present moment . It could not be obtained in the past , it could not be obtained in the future . That is what we call the pseudo joy , what we call happiness . It couldn't be obtained . The thief , the thief that takes you away from joy .

It could only be something in the future or the past . Well , we know who creates and lives in the future , in the past , it is the ego . So this is why I'm on this rant , i'm on this , i'm on this journey . I'm on this , this mission . I'm going to call it a mission . I'm going to call it like a like . I got it .

I got to get it done before I leave here , to help as many people as I can , to help them heal their inner child , to help them to become aware of their inner child , for them to accept and love who they were as a child , because the child didn't know any better . The child was just the subconscious . We understand how it works .

All it's doing is accepting everything that it's told . All it's all it's doing is being is accepting everything that is put in front of it .

So if you got programmed a condition to compare yourself to Bobby down the street , or compare your , your , your life to what mommy and daddy's life looked like , or to compare your wages or your earnings to what LeBron James is making , that's how you got conditioned when you were a child . You best believe this is what you're carrying out right now .

I'm here to tell you that you were a one of one . Literally , you were a one of one . You were a one of one in this incarnation . You were the one thing expressing itself through this one perspective . Own that , own it .

So if you find yourself comparing yourself , that's when you need to slap yourself upside the head and say no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no , no . This is me forgetting right now that I was the one of one . This is me forgetting . I am a one of one . Look at what we would do with a purse , a handbag , a pair of shoes , a car .

I don't know much about cars . I don't know much about handbags . I know a little bit about sneakers . Think about it . We make a big deal when Jordan's come out and they talk about we only made a thousand of them . People being the mall is really killing each other just to get this one . A pair of a thousand . You are a one of one .

Do you know what your value is ? Good God , almighty y'all ain't trying to hear me right now Do you know what your worth is ? Do you know what your worth is ? We can't even put a number on it . We can't even put a number . That's the vibration that we were all supposed to carry ourselves at .

We were supposed to carry ourselves from the frequency , from the vibration that . I know that I am no better than anyone or anything else , but I do know who I am . So I have to look at myself and affirm myself and tell myself everything that I needed to hear , because I knew who I was and we were all supposed to do this And when we could do this .

I promise you this life will look completely different . Imagine if you believed in yourself and it wasn't contingent on anything else . You just knew that you were just . You were everything that you said you were , because everyone else is just a reflection of us . That will be what you project on someone else .

So when you see somebody doing something and they're falling short , you're not going to look at them and say , aha , look at them . What are you going to say ? Come on , girl , you got it . You got it Why ? Because you were talking about yourself . So this is the journey . This is the mission .

This is the goal is to get us to stop looking outward and comparing ourselves to what we were not and start accepting what we were . Good God , almighty , you ain't trying to hear me . This was it . This was it . This was it . This was your response ability .

You were supposed to be responsible . You were supposed to be responsible for your life and how you viewed yourself . You were supposed to be accountable for your life Account Account . I think of account like a bank account , not a bank account per se , but an energy account . You were supposed to be responsible for your energy . It was your account . Do you see ?

We hit stuff . We hit stuff in these words . Every time that you compared yourself to somebody else , you was opening up your account . You was being unaccountable for your energy . You were giving away your life force . You were giving away the thing that was actually giving you life . You were just wasting money .

You were wasting the currency of this universe , your energy . You were wasting it . There was no reason why you were ever supposed to compare yourself to anyone . If you are comparing yourself , do not shame yourself . Do not put yourself down . Recognize . Recognize that there would have had to have been a cause .

It would probably most likely 99.99999% because of your childhood . I used to think that if my life looked a certain way , then I would have my dad's approval , then I would have my dad's validation , then I would be enough in my dad's eyes . I'd be enough in my mother's eyes . I've told you repeatedly kind of how I grew up .

My mom and dad are great parents great parents , right , comparatively speaking , they're great parents . They were putting cigarettes out on me . I was new . I was going to have a roof over my head . I was worried about my own well-being per se .

My parents had to raise me based on the frequency that they were raised in , because they didn't know any better , like most parents . So now guess what I'm being told and being pointed out , what I'm not doing . I don't get affirmed . If you do well , you did what you were supposed to . We don't need to tell you that you're doing well .

You are already doing it , but if you're not doing well , we need to let you know . This is me holding you accountable . I need to let you know when you're not meeting the bar . Well , here's what this does to me subconsciously growing up . Now I'm only hearing , i'm only hearing .

I'm only hearing what I'm not doing , what I'm not doing , what I'm not doing what I'm not doing . So now this is conditioning my subconscious and my RAS to only look for what I'm not doing . So guess what ? When I compare myself , i don't compare myself to myself being above somebody else , i'm going to compare myself to being below somebody else .

The effect that this will have on self-esteem . So , for the longest , this is why I was afraid to go places where there were a lot of people . I still really don't like it . I don't enjoy . I won't strike up a conversation with a stranger . I'm a state of myself .

The self-esteem isn't quite there , where it needs to be to be able to invoke a conversation with somebody . I can get out here and talk and speak and everything , but that took years and years of practice . I realized now , at this day , though , that this was from me as a child who was unaware , who was just being the tape recorder , was just recording .

That's all it was doing . Do you see how this works ? Here I am a 40 years old and it's really the eight , nine , ten , eleven year old boy who's living the life .

So I realized that through me comparison , comparing , that was just the universe's way of showing what was a pocket deep down inside of my childhood that I had to go reconcile , that I had to go deal with . I had not dealt with it yet . This is why the energy of it is still carrying itself and manifesting itself through my life . Do you see how this works ?

So this is why I tell you , from now to the day I leave this earth , it will always come back to your childhood . This is why I've made it my mission . Now I know I told you , i told you what . I told you I was here . I told you I got in bits and pieces over the last four years .

I never forget when I was walking at Cumberland Park , i'd go out there , sit on the woods and just cry , didn't know why , contemplating suicide , not knowing to do with my life . I never forget .

I can show you exactly where my feet were when I was walking across a bridge , in this voice , this prompt , this thought , this feeling Some people refer to it as your higher self , the Holy Spirit , whatever name you want to call it . It's said to me so clearly You're here to help people remember what they were before they forgot .

We all forgot when we became adults . We all forgot when we started taking on the programs and the conditioning of what this world tells us . We all forgot when we started comparing , we forgot what we were . We forgot that we were one of ones .

We forgot that we were the one thing that was manifesting itself , that was omnipresent , meaning it was everywhere all the time , which meant it had to be here in you as well . There was no separation between it . It was you . We forgot . So that's why I'm here to help you remember .

So if you're comparing yourself , this is just you getting on your journey to start remembering again . Do you see how this works ? So if this resonates with you , if this is touching you in a way that you don't just don't , i don't even know what to say . I ain't got no words right now . The emotions are over me .

I don't know what to do if this is touching you in a way that you just don't know . There's a reason , there's a reason . There's a reason you forgot . You forgot and that's okay , because we all forgot at some point . I'm 40 . I forgot it . 30 , for 36 , 37 years . I'm still .

I still don't remember all of it , which is why I'm trying to remember as much as I can , but I remember that I forgot way back when I was a child . I forgot when I was little . That's when I forgot .

I just realized the other day that , you know , from dealing with so many people and their child and understanding how it works , and we say mama's boy , we say , oh , he's a mama's boy or he's a daddy's little girl , did we understand why , good God Almighty , i'm a bus . You open on this one . I'm a bus .

You open this because you know this is the way my mind works . I'm sitting here racking my brain . I'm going to help . I'm going to help this world by teaching you how to heal your inner child right ,

making it easy . And I'm sitting here thinking like , why am I one way with my son but I'm another way with my daughter ? Why ? Why ? That's because , good God Almighty , if you're a man , jesus , jesus , if you're a man and you're raising your son understand that whatever age your son is , that is the age of you that you are raising him .

So if you had a traumatic childhood at the age of 10 and you have a 10 year old son , you're going to be raising your 10 year old from the unconscious place of you when you were 10 years old . But what if I'm a man and I have a daughter ?

If I'm raising my daughter , i am raising her from the frequency of me at that age and the best parts of my life at that age . So this is why we have a mama's boy and a daddy's girl . This is why I'm one way with my son and one way with my daughter , and my wife is one way with our daughter and she's another way with our son .

So this is why children were such a gift to us , because they were the only thing that we're going to show us the parts of our unhealed and our healed parts of our childhood . Do you see how this works ? So it's about us going into the window of the past . It's about us using all of these mirrors to show us the parts of us that we need to reconcile .

And then , my friend , then , when you've done enough , you will recognize when you are comparing and why you are comparing yourself to anyone . You were never supposed to compare yourself to anyone , never . It was just you . It's a process , it's a journey .

This is part of why non dualistic thinking or non dualistic perspective was going to be key on your journey was because this was going to eliminate the need for comparison . Instead of you saying something was good and something was bad , you could just accept it for what it was and say this is what it is .

But the moment that we started comparing that this is good or this is bad , that meant we were comparing it to something else . And when we were comparing it to something else , we were creating separation , and we know that separation is the complete opposite of this universe . Hence the name universe . We don't call it a dualiverse , it's called a universe .

It was not dualistic . It was dualistic , but our perspective was not supposed to be dualistic . So if you're comparing yourself to anyone else right on your mirror , i am a one of one . And affirm this to yourself every time that you walk through a door I am a one of one , i am a one of one . Go ahead and say this with me I am a one of one .

I am a one of one . Walk in that vibration , walk in that frequency . If you want to dye your hair purple , dye your hair purple If you want to date someone who's the same sex as you . Date someone who's the same sex as you remember . this was your life , this was your journey . This was your individual experience that you were having . It was no one else's .

No one else can tell you how to experience your life . The sooner you realize that , the sooner you will get back to remembering truly who you were , but , more importantly , what you were . As always , i wish you nothing but the best on the pathway to your results .