That guy right over there. This is your padded room podcast. My name is Darian. I am back for another week of horror bullshit coming. Just for you. I do this just for you people. I mean, man, buddy is here. What's up, buddy, buddy? You know, it's Tuesday. It is Tuesday. You're correct about that. It's almost halfway to Halloween.
I think the start of April is actually halfway down. The start of April? I thought it was April, like, tomorrow. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I thought I just figured the whole month of April. No. I don't care. It doesn't really matter anymore. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. I'm excited to hear that Halloween is on a Friday night. It is. That was pretty cool.
It is. I'm excited for that. We've got to do something, man. I don't know. Where's the parties at now? We have no heralds here anymore to put on the big bash. Yeah. I'll probably take the kids trick-or-treating, get drunk while I do. This neighborhood is a block party. Oh, yeah, it's great. Yeah. Everybody's handing out shots and white claws and beers as you go. So you get hammered on Halloween. Fireball. Fireball. Yeah, dude.
It's good times, so you're welcome to come join me for trick-or-treating. Okay. I was thinking maybe this year the kids are old enough. I don't think they need me anymore. What I was thinking I might do, dig this. I'm going to set up a fire pit out in the driveway. Okay. I'm going to close the garage door.
and then what i was thinking is i have that outdoor projector and the big speaker oh yeah i would show night of the living dead against the garage and just hand out candy from the driveway okay is that Is that ruining it for you or what? I feel like you need to go up and ring the doorbell. Just see the weird guy in the driveway. It's kind of... Take something away. Got to find a way to scare the kids. That's where you come in.
Oh, okay. Yeah. You don't have to do anything. You're just a scary guy. So... You want some candy? What I need you to do is roll up in a white van. Get your horror candy. That's right. Bloody handprints all over it. That's right. You just stand out there with a bag. Oh, that's creamy. Phone movie with... Oh, I can't even remember his name. The phone movie? Oh, Black Phone. Black Phone. With Ethan Hawke. Yeah. Yeah, with the black balloons. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
That'd be creepy. That would. Get the mask. He had a cool mask. Yeah, he did. Like a sectional thing. Uh-huh. That thing was pretty cool. Get that. Nobody's going to fucking take your candy. Nobody's going to stop by the house. In fact, they'll probably call the cops on you before 630. Right. Want to see a magic trick? Look how scary. All right, man. Well, we got a horror show to get into here. We got no Dusty this week. He is in, I believe, Dallas, Texas.
He was sending us pictures from the grassy knoll where Kennedy was killed. Oh. Yeah. Weirdo. I don't know what he's doing there. Digging him up. probably maybe maybe reenacting some reenacting it yeah i don't know what he's into man i don't i don't really know dusty that well be honest with you rubbing on the rubbing around on the rolling on a grass like naked or something i don't know i don't know what he's doing dude
Well, that notwithstanding, we have a horror show to get into. Oh, yeah. How about some horror news, you fucker? Yeah. Horror news. All right, go ahead. All right, so Megan is coming to Steelbook 4K UHD ahead of the sequel release in June. So yeah, June 24th. steelbook 4k ultra hd blu-ray and digital just in time before megan 2.0's theatrical release on june 27th three days before
Saw the trailer for Megan 2.0. I am interested. It does not look like a horror movie to me. No, it doesn't. It looks more like a sci-fi action. What was that? Robot jocks. Not robot jocks. The one where the robot, where you box with the robots. What is that? Oh. Hugh Jackman. Yeah, Hugh Jackman. Rock'em Sock'em. No. No, but that's kind of what it reminds me of. Robo boxers.
I can't remember the name of that. Me neither. It was a good show, but that's basically what Megan 2.0 is. Yeah, just not in a ring. No, no. Oddly attractive adolescent girl robots. And why do we have to root for the bad guy all of a sudden? I know. It's like, oh, Megan's going to be a good girl. Now she's hunting down other robots. All right.
Forget it. But yeah, both PG-13 theatrical version and the unrated cut of the 22 film are included in this. Seen both. Couldn't tell you the difference. Yeah? Yeah. I'd like to see something that would just show what was changed with a quick director cut on it. Yeah, give me the quick little deleted scenes. Instead of watching the whole movie and be like, I think that was the same. Yeah, I don't know. It seemed like the exact same movie to me. Yeah.
Cool thing. Netflix is playing 30 plus Hitchcock movies in a 35 millimeter at New York's Paris theater, including Psycho. That's cool. Yeah. So if you're able to go out there and check that out, that'll be pretty awesome. and uh because netflix you know they don't stream that old stuff no um one is uh the series hitch which is original cinema influencer will run may 16th to june 29th at the paris theater which netflix purchased in 2019
So the films range from Hitchcock's early works such as Blackmail to enduring hits such as Psycho and the Birds. Okay, I'm down. I wouldn't be able to watch all 30. You'd probably have to quit your job. Oh, man. I don't know how you swing that. I don't know if it's one a day or if it's like multiple, like five a day. Double feature every night for a month. Double feature every night, yeah. Forget it. Right? Well, that's all I got. What do you got? Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.
Have you seen a movie called The House on Sorority Row? Sounds very familiar. Slasher from the early 80s. I mean, you can do the math on this one. It's about a... sorority house where the sisters are getting butchered oh shocking yeah shocking i know wow it was uh remade in 2008 by a guy named josh stolberg and he is now teasing a sequel to the remake The sequel to the remake. The remake was entitled Sorority Row.
How did it do compared to the original? I'll be honest with you. I like the remake better. Okay. The original had some very silly psychedelic disco stuff going on. And the entire plot twist with who the killer was. Why he was killing the girls didn't make a lot of sense. Yeah. In the remake, it kind of...
Does a nice update and, you know, makes things make a lot more sense, I guess. And it was some really hot checks in that one. All right. So look for that if you like Sorority Row. Now, this is something that's going to blow your mind here, buddy. Are you ready? We got a new Predator movie coming out. Predator Badlands. Ellie Fanning is it. And she, this has been confirmed.
Don't look at me like this. I'm telling you right now, this is rock-solid groundbreaking news right here. Ellie Fanning is in Predator Badlands, and she is playing, are you ready for this? A Weyland-Yutani sin. whoa yes whoa yes okay which means Buddy, this Predator Badlands could very well cross into Alien. What the what? Are you kidding me? Another one that ties into it. I like it. I'm into it. Can't be any worse than Alien vs. Predator Requiem. Right. Because that was Garfield.
Trailers are out for Fear Street Prom Queen. Oh, okay. Yes. It looks interesting. Yeah, I'll definitely watch it because I like the others. Yeah. I would like a physical release on the first three. I can go to my guy on Etsy. He can make a fun little... jacket combo for me you know what I'm saying where he puts it in a box and makes it look professional but I know it's
Right. You know, there's no bonus features. But if you want a physical copy, it can happen. I'm into it. I was always intrigued about the prom queen and what her deal was. So hopefully this doesn't suck. Cinderella body horror movie entitled The Ugly Step Sister. Okay. Is going to hit Shudder next month. What is this about? Now, this is not part of the Pooniverse. Okay. Take that right off the plate. Yeah. It's a body horror movie. Okay. So... I don't know. All right. Maybe...
She's got a virus, and it turns her into a pumpkin at midnight or something. I'm reaching. I'm reaching out. If she doesn't make it, something explodes. Yeah. I've had about enough of exploding, people, to be honest with you. Lastly, Meta Horizon is adding a horror-themed experience entitled Blumhouse Horrorverse. All right. May 22nd. Now, Meta Horizon, of course, is the virtual reality headset.
um, some of that shit gets pretty, pretty wild, man. Yeah. Yeah. Like, uh, there's a couple of little short films you can watch on that thing. It's, uh, Make sure you clear out all the furniture in the room because you just might take off running. You got you pretty involved there, buddy. So in other words, find a way to strap onto a treadmill. Just have people hold you down, I think is the best way to go.
I'm into it. There's no price tag or anything. I'm sure if it's Blumhouse, it's going to cost something. Yeah. That would be pretty cool. Yeah. I'm into it. Well, we'll have to try it out when it comes out. I got a Meta Horizon, so we can strap that thing on. Nice. That's all we're strapping on now, buddy. Oh, damn. That's it. Nope. That's it. Nope. No. No. No means no. All right, man. How about some listener mail then? Yeah, let's do it.
Listener mail. All right. No emails this week, but we do have a voicemail or two. Okay. Why don't we kick things off with our main man? Alan. Hey, what's going on, Alan? All the way from funky Alabama. Yeah. Let's see what he has. How's it going? What's up, dude? Number three, New Kids. Number two, The Fun House. And number one, Last Shift. Mr. Garion, are you... I think he's got the hiccups. Don't be afraid of the dark.
I am. That's something in the dark. Yeah, don't be afraid of the dark. It's been good. Talk to you later. Beautiful. Hope you feel better, Alan. I don't know what's going on with you. Hold your breath. Yeah, maybe it's my phone. I don't know. No, it's not doing it now. Okay. You got me, dude. I am Don't Be Afraid of the Dark. You ever seen that one? It's been a while. It's a kids movie. That's it. It's all there is to it. It's a kid's movie. It's about little guys
First they're scared of them, then once they make friends with them, then they're okay. Okay, not what I was thinking. Big creepy house. Okay. So there's that. Right on, Alan. Let's get down to Southern California. Here comes Mr. Tom Hardy. Hey, Tom Hardy. Hey-o! Hey-o! Padded room out.
My favorite degenerates this week. Hey, we're here. I do hope everyone is doing well. Let me get in real quick. I actually have some horror news. Oh, let's go. All right. Two bits. Okay. What you got? You guys probably already picked them up, but in case you missed them. Hey, Warren Zivon is getting into the...
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. It's about time. Rock and Roll Hall of Fame is kind of pointless at this point. It's true. It's mostly hip-hop. Me too. I like that. You've got some good dark tunes. He might have, like, a happy poppy twinge to him. Pretty good shit. Anyway, happy for him. Me too. On the sad news, though, I'm not sure if you guys have seen that. Laura Park, the main chick in Friday the 13th Part 7. Yes, sir.
on last week. Unfortunate. I don't really know much about her. I remember her from that. Something that did make me like her is that she actually did a I don't want to call it a fan film, but an unofficial Friday the 13th sequel to that. It's on YouTube. I can't remember the name of it offhand.
That's always cool when they do that. Whatever. All right, moving on to the regular shit. On the educating department, I got you. It's got to be Pam's Labyrinth. You nailed it. Let's keep this up. Let's go. That terror dome. The meat hook. Yes, sir. The meat hook. The Florida fucking thing. Yeah. Hmm. That's it, Darren. You got some weird fucking categories you're coming up with.
Florida in some manner. Got to be connected to Florida. I mean, you know, I'm willing to accept some liberties. All right, top three in some manner connected to Florida Flicks. Yeah. For number three, I've got to agree with you. Jeepers Creepers. Okay. Good flick, man. I like the Creepers. I love the Creepers. Me too. I remember seeing it and thinking, man, this is like... the most innovative or cool.
new monster yeah that we've seen in a while like everything else is a vampire a werewolf or a serial killer but this is like its own It's own thing. It's got its own mythology. Yeah. And then, you know, that piece of shit fucking Salva. But, you know, you're right. You got to separate the art from the artist. But, you know, so put me down for number three there.
Number two, it's got to be fucking Tobey Hooper's Funhouse. Come on, man. I didn't realize that was a Florida movie. And number one, it's got to be fucking Scream. If you don't know... The writer Kevin Williamson was... inspired by, I believe it was the Gainesville Ripper. Yeah. Somebody that was breaking into houses. Sure. That's a bit of a reach there, Tom Hardy. Florida-inspired horror movie.
Okay, well, if you're going to go that route, I guess you could say anything with an alligator in it, right? I don't know, man. Hey, I'm not one to disparage, though, Tom Hardy. You want to go with Scream, you go right ahead. I don't care. He got GP'd, but he did call back, as he always does. Oh, hell yeah. Hell yeah.
As I was saying, yeah, so that was inspired by the Gainesville Ripper, which took place in Florida, so that's your fucking Florida connection. I wonder what you're coming up with this week, man. Anyway, on the one you're looking at department, I did want to just real quick... realized after I got off the phone after I was listening to your episode that I didn't finish my thoughts on Adrian Brody and that was Don't Watch.
It's not that fucking good. I agree. And continuing on that, I saw Dario Argento's 2000-something flick called Sleepless. I heard nothing good about that. It is a Giallo this time around. I saw it in Italian with English. I don't know if there's another way to watch it, but it was free on 2D. Oh, okay. Not one of his better ones. That's what I heard.
There you go. We got that. Okay. I did catch Mario Baba's Bay of Blood. That's a good one. Always a fun little walk there. I like that one. You know, fucking what are you getting? And then I caught Suspiria again. I fucking couldn't find it anywhere. I went down to the fucking... used record store what have you i found a coffee nice wow i got her on blu-ray around here special features but i don't know the special features i didn't
think were all that interesting. They weren't all that great. Okay. Anyway, I did catch that. Fun times. Good shit. And then there was one I did catch that was not an Italian horror flick, and that's this movie called Here for Blood. And I've got to say... Not bad. I think the man with the biggest balls in Australia, Tim, and he who cha-cha's behind the road. Alan would appreciate this one because it's kind of wrestling-based. Huh. WWF style wrestler. Okay.
stuck babysitting a kid and fucking insanity ensues. All right. Kind of has a bit of a Evil Dead feel to it, though. Wow. I thought it was fun. I thought it was good. You're in the mood for something a little bit different. A little comedy in there, but still fucking a horror flick. Give it a shot here for blood. Anyway, that's all I got. Hope all is well. Love you like family. Bye. Love you too, Tom Hardy. Yeah. Thanks for calling in, big guy. All right. Here for blood.
It's been a while since we've had a decent wrestling-based horror movie. Yeah. In fact, I don't think we've ever had a decent wrestling movie. I don't think there are any wrestling-based horror movies. I just figured out what our meat hook for the week is, though. Wrestling-based horror movies. I'm kidding. Buddy just shot me a look like he was going to stab me in the neck. Are you serious wrestling-based horror movies?
it sounds interesting though i'm willing to check it out there was one horror movie uh it came out early 2000s i think it had like ray mysterio in it And it was about like luchador killers or a ghost luchador or something like that. I don't remember what it was called. I remember it being kind of silly, but... Oh, yeah. Look at that guy. Here for blood.
Yeah, he looks like a wrestler too, doesn't he? Yeah. He's going to put you in a headlock. All right, my man. You got anything for Alan or Tom Hardy? Thanks, you guys, for calling in. Absolutely. Let's get down to business here, shall we? Yeah. Just a perfect day Dear Heavenly Father We thank you What is that? I don't see anyone. watching us for days. This wasn't a random attack.
From 2011, this one got 6.6 stars on IMDb, written by Simon Barrett, directed by Adam Wingard, starring Sharni Vinson, A.J. Bowen, and Barbara Crampton. And if you'll look just behind you in that basket on the floor, you'll see the wolf mask, which is signed by Adam Wingard and Simon Barrett. A couple of studs those guys are. Right on, dude. This is a bad motherfucker here, buddy. I would say this is probably top
Two, home invasion movies. Number two probably being, it might be number one, number two probably The Stranger. Off the top of my head, if I had to put me on the spot and make a three on the meat hook of home invasion movies, I'd probably go You're Next, The Strangers, and then maybe... Uh, the purge, the first purge, or maybe that, uh, what is that? He knows you're alone.
That one with Carol Kane where he calls, Have you checked the children? Oh, yeah. The sad part about that movie, not to go off on a rant, but the sad part about that movie is that that sequence is like the first 15 minutes of the movie. After that, it turns into a big, fat, stupid cop drama. Nothing about that there, buddy. Don't want to go off on a rant here. This is a good movie, dude. You've probably seen it. It's from 2011.
Adam Wingard has developed at this point in his career this Rob Zombie-esque family of actors that you see popping up repeatedly throughout his work. We're going to start right off the bat with a... Less than attractive sex scene between a overweight Larry Fessenden and our very own Caitlin Schell from Sun Don't Shine. Right. Who I think is hot in this movie.
She's better. She's hot in this movie, buddy. No, not hot. Come on now. She's got her shirt open. I still have bad taste in my mouth from the last movie. That's fair. That is fair. She was pretty skankified in Sun Don't Shine. She apparently is some kind of a college student or something in this movie, and she looks good, and she's getting pounded by Larry Fessenden, and I'm 99% sure I saw a nipple. It's possible. She had like a loose shirt going on. And...
Larry's on top of her moaning and groaning and she does not look impressed. No. Or happy with her life situation. She looks like she's just waiting for it to be over. Just get off me. Yeah. Hurry up and finish. Much like my wife. every Sunday night just get off of me you fat bastard are you done yet He gets off her. She gets up and makes herself a cocktail. He hops in the shower and she starts looking around. They're in some kind of a secluded...
It's not a cabin in the woods, but it is in the woods, and it seems like a nice house. A lot of property around it. Yeah. She starts the... The repeat on the disc changer CD thing, you know, this was back when we had CD players. Dude, I got a co-worker. She's 28. Has no idea what a CD is. Oh, my God. You fucking bitch.
I know what a cassette tape is. I know what an 8-track is. I know what an 8-track is. I never had one, but I know what one is. You're not that much older than me, you shit. Yeah, but I had one. I had it in the garage. Good for you. She hits the repeat on one song that I'll be playing at the break here, and this lets it go, and then she walks outside and something happens. Inside, Larry's getting out of the shower and toweling off.
We get to see a lot more of Larry than I wanted to because he's half naked and he's walking around. He looks out the window and he sees the word you're next written in blood across the sliding glass door. Like, what the hell? And then he takes a couple steps closer and he realizes his lady friend is dead right outside there. And then we cut to the opening credits. Yeah. Very cool.
We are about five minutes into this movie. We already have two dead bodies. Very cool. Now we're going to cut to a... post-retirement couple they're not elderly but they are Post-retirement. And they're driving to their new home. Well, I guess it's like a vacation home out in this similar area of where these two murders took place.
And they're getting ready for a big family gathering because it's their wedding anniversary. I think they said 35 years. And they're going to have all their kids back to this big house for a big celebration. They're now adult kids and their spouses, and that's great, and it's going to be a big party and a great time. We're going to meet these two. We're just going to call them Mom and Dad because I don't get their actual names. Now, this movie marked the...
I guess you could call it the comeback of Barbara Crampton. Yeah. Because she took like a 25-year hiatus where she was doing like a couple of guest spots on soap operas and some commercials and no major movies. And then she landed this. And then she blew right back up. And now she's, you know, we see her in every third.
horror movie which is great even when she's just doing little cameos here yeah it's great having her on uh she's here she's playing mom uh dad is there very cool they get to the house mom's a little um Sentimental. We'll call her sentimental. She gets to the house. The front door is wide open.
It's a big, huge house, too. Looks like the house from Clue on the inside. That's pretty creepy. They get in there. Everything's covered in sheets. They don't live in this house full time. It's like a vacation home or something. So she starts peeling the sheets back off of everything. At one point, dad does ask her if she's taking her medication as if to say that there possibly may be some kind of...
psychological ailments of some sort. And she's like, well, yeah, I think I did. I don't remember. And then she thinks she hears something upstairs. So now everybody's running around trying to figure out if there's somebody in there. Cut to just down the road, our first kid is showing up. This is going to be Crispin, played by A.J. Bowen. Yeah. And his girlfriend, what was her name?
I don't remember. God damn it. She's played by Sharni Vinson. I believe her name was Kelly, maybe, or something. Hold on. Don't judge me. I'm looking. Her name was actually goddamn Erin. It was Erin. Her name is Erin. It's Crispin and Erin. They're the first to arrive. They get there. Everybody's so happy to see them. Off the bat, we get... Crispin is supposed to be about 10 years older than Aaron.
And there's a little bit of a teacher student. We'll get into that here in a second there. But it may be a little inappropriate going on. But she's probably, I would say, mid-20s, right? And he's probably mid-30s. So it's not. anything against the law no you know no statutory business here uh whatever dude uh they get in there mom and dad are happy to see him they bed down for the night everything's cool
Wake up the next morning. The next of the siblings has arrived. It's fucking Swanberg, buddy. Yeah. This motherfucker, I still want to punch his stupid face in his big giant forehead. Yes. I don't know why. Well, in this movie, he plays a right prick. Yeah, he does. Nah, he's kind of funny. A suck-up. He's kind of funny, though. Yeah. I think if I had to pick a favorite sibling here, it would probably be Drake.
uh just because for a short period of time he's just such a cocksucker yeah you know for a short period of time it's like yeah yeah and then it's like you just are you serious he just can't keep himself from making these stupid little passive-aggressive remarks. Oh my gosh. You just gotta hate this fucking guy. But at the same time...
You know, when the shit is going down and he's still, oh, God, you fucking, I run faster than everybody, but I got an arrow. Oh, shut the fuck up, man. Anyway, he shows up with his wife, Kelly. You can tell he's a prick because as soon as Crispin comes down from the bedroom...
He starts trying to rough him up and put him in a headlock and slap him around and stuff. He's clearly the big brother of this relationship. Like an older brother should. Yeah, and Crispin's like, hey, fuck off. Quit touching me. Leave me alone. Aaron and the other wife, Kelly, are kind of getting a little chuckle out of this. But you could tell Crispin is like, hey. Fuck off or I'm going to punch you right in your stupid face. Yeah.
I love it. I love this. See, this is one of the joys of being an only child. I don't have to deal with this. When my wife's brother and sister come over, it starts From the moment they walk in the front door. Oh, I see you haven't cleaned this little thing up yet. Oh, I see you're still a bitch. Oh yeah. It's entertaining. You can almost sit back and just watch. Oh, I love it.
I'll just kind of poke and prod every now and then get them back to you. Hey, didn't you say this? Hey, did you hear that somebody got ripped off with the tax evasion? Oh, yeah. i love it man all right anyway um it's it's kind of shitty but it's The way you'd expect adult siblings that never really got along to interact. We are going to mention that this is kind of a joint party because not only is it mom and dad's.
Wedding anniversary, but it's also dad's big retirement party. He is retiring from the KPG Corporation, buddy. KPG. KPG. It pops up in every single Adam Wingard movie. There's some little nod or mention or... In that shitty Blair Witch movie, when they used the drone, they had the KPG logo at the bottom. In The Guest, the people that were trying to hunt down Dan Stevens were from the KPG Corporation.
He's trying to get it out there. I want to see like a full KPG movie at some point. I want to know what this shit is all about. Anyway, more little pokes and prods and digs. It gets very... passive aggressive um at one point it's mentioned uh that crispin is kind of financially unstable at the moment i guess he's some kind of college professor and he's trying to get some grants but
It's not working out because none of his papers got published or something to that effect. So he might be here to hit up dad in a weird way or maybe try to squeeze a little money out of the situation. It'll come into play later. Drake is... trying he's got a hot wife and he tries to get on her at one point he gets her bra off while she's popping zits in the mirror yeah
Now, I'm a horny guy, buddy, and I'll bang my wife pretty much any time she says, unless I just got done banging her. Then I need at least a good 10 minutes to cool down. But I feel like if – While you're popping zits in the mirror. It's not go time. I can wait till you're done. Yeah. You know, you take care of that and, you know, straighten yourself out. Then we'll get it on. If you're brushing your teeth.
It's business time. Yeah, I can do that. I'll get down during a teeth brushing. But she's like full-on squeezing, you know, getting the whiteheads out. Ugh! That grossed me out. But he gets her bra off, and we get to see her boobies there for a hot second. She's got a nice rack on her. Excellent. Now it's getting later in the night. The other two siblings show up. We have a younger brother, Felix, and his girlfriend, C.
Who looks like a C. Or Z. Was it C or Z? I thought it was C. Z-E-E. Z? I thought it was C-E. I don't think it matters. It's either C or Z. And then we're going to meet the younger sister, Amy, who played by Amy Simitz, who we'll know as the main girl from... She looks much better in this one, not nearly as depressing. And her boyfriend, Tariq, who's played by Ty West. We sit down for the big dinner. Everything's going cool.
Of course, Drake and Crispin are already taking little shots at each other. Eventually, the full-on argument ensues. Drake asks Crispin about how he met Aaron. And he's like, oh, well, she was my teacher's assistant for a little while, but not anymore because it's inappropriate. And Drake's like, yeah, super inappropriate and unprofessional. And Crispin's like, what?
What did you say to me? And here comes all the yapping and snapping and mom's going, okay, everybody calm down. No, you tell him to calm down. No, he's being a bitch. No, you're being a bitch. No, everybody just calm down. We're not going to do... In the midst of all this fucking bullshit, Tariq just stands up and walks over to the window because I guess he thought he saw something. And boom! Arrow to the head. Yeah. Crossbow bolt.
It's supposed to be a fun little wink and nod, I believe, because Ty West makes horror movies, and I believe he was critically panned by a website called Arrow to the Head. So I think this was like an F you to them. Hmm. I guess. I don't know. There's some kind of subtext to this.
oh shit, we have a problem. Yeah. Tariq's got a crossbow bolt in his head and now... And nobody notices it for like 30 seconds. Yeah, he staggers while everybody's too busy yelling at each other. Yeah. Because they hate each other, buddy. That's the best part. He staggers around for a few minutes and hits the ground, and then here comes a volley of crossbow bolts through the window. Geesh, geesh, geesh, geesh.
One is headed towards mom, but Drake jumps in front of her and catches it in the back and goes down. Everybody else ducks for cover. Now, this is where we're going to start to realize that Erin is some kind of a fucking outback commando. Right? She is a hard Australian young lady. We'll get more into her backstory as we go, but she's got this shit locked out. She's like, okay.
They're shooting from this window. As long as they can't see us, we'll be okay. So she hands everybody a chair and they all kind of use it to... Cover their face as they run past the window and use it like as floating cover, which is great. And that's how everybody gets past the window. So they make it out of the dining room into the entryway, which is good. Oh, everybody's freaking out.
They all try to call for help. Nobody's cell phone works. And Felix is like, well, they're obviously using cell phone blockers. You can get them off the internet for 30 bucks. And Drake is like, you're such a fucking lowlife. Why am I a lowlife? I'm trying to help. See, that's why you got to love Drake, man. That's right. He is slowly bleeding out on the carpet. but he still has the energy to tell his fucking brother and sister what pieces of shit they are. Right. I love it.
Everything's good. We're all safe for now, except for Tariq, who's dead, and Drake, who's got a bolt in his back, in the entryway. uh again we're all freaking out we can't use our cell phones um we come to the conclusion that uh One of us should probably try to get inside a car and drive to go get help. Makes perfect sense. So who can run the fastest here? Drake immediately says, I can run the fastest, but I got a bolt in my back.
Everybody says, no, you can't, you slow, fat bastard. So Amy eventually steps up. She's like, I'm the fastest I ran track in high school. So we come to the ingenious idea that what we're going to do is She's going to come full speed at the front door. Dad and Felix are going to open the door at the last possible second.
And she's going to fly right out the door. They won't expect her. They won't see her because they won't know that the door is open. And she'll make it to the car, get in, drive off to go get help. Excellent plan. Yeah. Stroke of genius. So here she goes. She's up. She's firing on all cylinders. She's stretching out. Here I go. Here I go. Here I go. One, two, three, go! She takes off like a bull.
Three, she goes through the door. Oh, shit. Razor wire across the front door entryway. Neck level. Catches her right in the neck. Bam! Clotheslines her. Slits her throat wide open. They drag her back inside, and she's dead in about 30 seconds. That's nasty. That is absolutely nasty. At least you went out quick. Yeah, I mean, you got that going for you because not a lot of people die easy in this movie. No. In fact, I think Tariq probably had the best.
The easiest death right to the forehead. You're done. All right. Anyway, now everybody's freaking out again. Oh, shit. What are we going to do? Mom's having a full on panic attack. So we decide we're good. Dad's going to take her upstairs. She's going to lay down for a second.
uh well calm calm her down okay great take her upstairs get her in bed she's having a full-on panic attack what the hell uh dad comes back downstairs to try to get a plan together while that happens out from the bedroom closet pops one of our home invaders and this is where we actually get to see no under the bed oh under the bed you're right uh we actually get to see these guys they are in full on
black-on-black tactical gear with these silly animal masks covering their faces. A lamb? A lamb, a wolf, and I think a lion, was it? A lion or a rabbit? It might have been a rabbit. Hold on, I'll check. You had tiger. Tiger, fox, and lamb. I thought that was a wolf. All right, well, there you have it. I guess it's supposed to be a fox then. Whatever.
comes out with a machete, buries it right in mom's head. She's out of the equation. Oh, shit. That's too bad. I was hoping to see Barbara Crampton naked again. right yeah uh that sucks uh now back downstairs everybody's still freaking out dad comes down uh he quickly draws the conclusion that they must have been watching us for weeks They know the whole layout of the house. What the hell's going on? We don't know.
everything's kind of in shambles here for a minute uh we decide this is basically where we have like a complete freak out moment because kelly drake's wife and aj or not a i keep uh crispin decide they're both gonna well kelly has the full freak out and just hauls ass out of the door she's like i can't take out anymore and just opens the door
ducks under the razor wire, and just goes screaming off into the night. She could have done the car thing. She could have, but she just decided not to stop running. She's got a great 5K on her. I'll tell you right now, she's probably clocking 20. She probably would have got further if she wasn't screaming. That and some better footwear. Proper hydration helps also.
You know, you want to do like some anti-chafing stuff. That helps also. I'm just putting it out there. But she's on a roll. She just takes off screaming into the night. They're like, oh shit, we should go after her. And like. Yeah, I guess I'll go after her. I mean, we know where the razor wire is. If anybody's out there, they're probably chasing her down right now. So why don't I go ahead and go get in the car and take the fuck off and try to get some help?
So off Crispin goes. While that's happening, he's just not going to be part of the equation for like another hour. Right. Yeah. While that's happening, we're going to cut upstairs. Dad goes upstairs and finds Mom's dead body. This creates a big freak out for him. He pokes his head into one of the closets. And he sees in there...
Like a bunch of bottles of water and a bunch of other bottles that presumably have piss in them. Piss, yeah. Like they're living in there for a bit. So, yeah. It feels now like our home invaders were probably there before our family got there, which is extra creepy. Mom's dead, freak right out. Dad's running around screaming, I'm going to get you motherfuckers, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Dad comes like he's coming out of the bedroom.
And then Felix and C are walking in and he's like, they got your mom. And then out pops our... rabbit mask or maybe the it's hard to differentiate these guys one of them pops out slits dad's throat and uh just felix is just kind of like standing there like what the fuck
so now we kind of know that felix and c at least are in on this uh because i think what did felix say for real man you had to do that right in front of me yeah okay jerkwad In the meantime, downstairs, one of them, one of the other home invaders comes crashing through the... And this is where we get to see our Australian Outback Commando survivalist go to work on this motherfucker. I think she grabs like a steak knife.
He comes crashing through, knocks her down. She does like a kick flip spinny thing around him, like kicks his feet out from underneath him and just grabs a knife off the table and just stabs the living piss out of him until he stops moving. Like in the head, in the back, in the neck. He's done. He's done. In the meantime, Felix and C have come back downstairs just to catch the tail end of this. And they're like...
You, my friend, are a psycho. Right? Thanks for the help. Yeah, but she's like, hey, thanks a lot for the help. And they're like, it looked like you had it under control there, babe. Yeah. Scary stuff. But this is when – uh erin kind of goes full commando she's like okay we gotta we gotta get away from the windows we gotta make some we gotta find weapons we gotta make weapons uh she like puts a pot of water on the stove and starts the boiler
So she can presumably throw it at somebody if she has to. While she's in there doing that, another guy like sticks his head in the kitchen window and she stabs him. I think it was in the hand or the eye. I couldn't tell. I'm going to, I think it was the hand. Cause I think he like put his hand up. Like, yeah. Yeah. I think that round was the hand and it went right through his hand. Yeah.
He's freaking out. She's like, but the water isn't boiling yet, so it's not ready to throw at anybody. Well, no, it was boiling earlier. She shut it off. Oh, did she? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, I always wondered why she didn't throw the water at her. Everybody's like, okay, what the fuck? Now, while all of this is going on, we have Drake pretty much unconscious because they gave him some pain pills and he's lost a lot of blood. They're on the entryway carpet.
Slowly bleeding out. Now we're going to cut to Kelly, who has reached the end of her 5K. She has made it all the way to the neighbor's house. where the CD is still on repeat and playing the same song over and over and over again. She can see dead Larry Fessenden, but she can't tell he's dead, sitting in the chair. So she's like, open the door, open the door, you fucker, let me in.
eventually one of our other home invaders pops up and punches her through the door like hits her in the face and she goes crashing through the door and then she looks up and sees that larry fessenden is dead uh she's freaking out this guy comes in Kicks her around a little bit. And then he's got like a single bit axe that has the sledge on the other hand, on the other side. And he just tees off on her head. Oh, yeah. Boom.
Like a fucking benign iron. Kabow! She's done. She's out of the equation. It's too bad she had a nice body. uh okay that's pretty creepy uh now we're going to cut back to the house um drake has come too and he's staggering around what the hell is going on um
Aaron has made her way down into the basement. He sees the basement is open, so he goes down there. Also, Aaron thinks that one of the killers is there, so she hides behind some... something she hides and then down comes felix he's like oh my god you're alive he's like yeah what the hell and they're like yeah man they just killed dad upstairs and he's like oh my god dad's dead then out of nowhere felix starts just grabbing like random
knives and screwdrivers and sticking them in drake and drake's like ah you fucker what are you doing felix is like We just died? This is hard on me, too. You're a prick, Felix. You're a fucking prick. yeah that scene was pretty funny yeah uh poor drake man man uh now we cut back to felix upstairs when he's now like Full on in league with the home invaders. Like he gets one of them to take the mask off.
they kind of look like meth heads really like the one guy with the beard he had like sunken in eyes and stuff yeah but they're supposed to be ex-military that's what i yeah because at one point he says something about i get it you were brothers and you serve but i didn't know he was your actual brother but I'll double what I was going to pay you. Yeah. Because he's about to choke Felix out because of the one dead home invader.
This is my personal favorite part. They go upstairs because they're nervous about not being able to track down Aaron. Aaron is still a loose... part of the equation and we don't know where she is and we've seen her fuck some people up oh yeah uh they go upstairs they're looking for her throughout the house Felix just kind of sits down on the bed next to where his dead mom is. And C tries to have sex with him, or Z. And she's like, you want to fuck me next to your dead mom? And he's like...
Ew. No. Yeah. She starts taking her clothes off. You never want to do anything interesting. Come on, fuck me next to your dead mom. No. So weird. No. Listen, I'm sure there are at least five unoccupied bedrooms in this house. Right. Pick one other than this one. Other than this one. Closets. Bathroom. I'm sure there's some kind of billiard room or study. Kitchenette. I don't know. Basement. A lot of different places here, but not here. Come on, fuck me next to your dead mom.
What kind of letter to penthouse is that going to be? Right. You nasty. All right. Anyway, I thought it was funny. uh okay that's pretty gnarly um now in the meantime we have uh downstairs we have uh aaron and she is making all these cool weapons she's taking like uh planks and hammering nails into them and setting them under the windows setting like these cool little traps she's got like a meat tenderizer and some other stuff that she's put together
At this point, though, she heard Felix, or at least maybe saw, but also heard, Felix stab the shit out of Drake. So she knows that... Felix is part of this equation. So now we've got a big cat and mouse thing happening. Aaron's trying to basically just survive. The home invaders plus C plus Felix are trying to track her down and kill her. So they get into a little fight upstairs.
they manage one of the there's like a tussle between her and one of the the animal masks uh she gets stabbed or no she jumps out of a window And then like in the second story window, somehow in the fall, a piece of glass goes through her thigh. So she's now kind of hobbled a little bit, but she goes back inside. They come chasing her out. She does like a double back move. Everybody thinks she went down the road. She does like a double back move and goes back into the house and hides.
One of the few remaining home invaders at this point follows her, goes in. Through the dining room window where she set up the planks with the nails. steps right on one of the nails and starts screaming. She runs out there and just immediately plays him a nice little tune with that meat tenderizer right on his fucking head. Yeah. Kills that dude pretty quick. That was nasty. At this point, everybody hears the commotion, so they all go back into the house. We get a big fight between...
While everybody was out, she set up that door. Oh, that's right. The cool Home Alone door axe with a brick on it thing. She's expecting them to come running in, which they do. But she took the sledgehammer axe Tied a brick to the back of it and set up a cool pulley thing. So if anybody came through the front door, it would swing down Home Alone style and go right through somebody's face. Yeah. That's nasty. That's a nasty way to go right there. Mm-hmm.
That's pretty good. But instead of coming through the front door, they all come through the dining room windows, which are all shot out. She gets to where she's in the kitchen and somehow Felix and Z capture her in there. Big fight. This scene was funny. This was gnarly.
she's kicking the shit out of both of them. That's where she grabs the pan because she turned off the heat. Yeah, she throws it and he's like, it's not even warm! But then she just starts kicking the shit out of him. Well, he slips on it. Yeah, but then she starts beating the shit out of Z with the pan. He slips and hits his head. She takes a blender, smashes the actual cup part of the blender, and then stabs the blender into the top of his head and hits the blade.
That's a bad way to go. And then goes and plugs it in. Yep, that's a bad way to go right there. And then stabs Z on the top of the head with just like a paring knife or something. Kills her. um that's pretty much the end of it she's walking she's covered in blood uh as she's walking out Felix's cell phone starts ringing. So she just picks it up and opens it. It's old school flip phone. And Crispin's on the other line. He's like, hey, is it done?
Is everything done? I'm sorry I couldn't stay and help. I'm a pussy. You know me. I can't do violence, man. I had to get out of there. And she hasn't said anything. He thinks he's talking to Felix. And this is where we get the big reveal that this whole thing was a big scam to kill everybody. Except for Felix Z, Aaron, maybe Aaron. Maybe Aaron was supposed to die. And Crispin. And they were going to inherit all the family's money.
everybody's dead except for Aaron and Crispin and, uh, They have like a tense little standoff in the dining room and Crispin is explaining all this to her and she's like shaking and covered in blood and she's just killed. What? About 12 people. Right. Yeah. So she's just like, what? And he's like, okay, I know you're upset. Look.
This is going to pay for everything. I'm the only survivor now, so it's all mine. Your student loans, gone. Your shitty bartending job, gone. We can be on a plane this time tomorrow to Paris. possibly getting engaged or something. And she's just staring at him, shaking. Or I go to jail, you get nothing. Exactly. And he's still walking towards her, being very subtle and passive. These are your options. As soon as he gets within striking range, he just takes that paring knife.
and shoves it in his neck. Yeah. And he's like, what? Why'd you do that? And she's like, why the fuck not? And stabbed him right in the eyeball. Now she's the only survivor. Unfortunately, what she didn't realize is while that was happening, there was a police officer outside.
And she's going to stab him again, I think. But then the police officer shoots her in the arm. And now she's crawling and the police officer is coming around to the front door. And just as he walks in, she's like, no. and the fucking axe swings down, and boom, you're next. You're next. That's the end of the movie, buddy. Yes. What did you think of this one? I love this movie. It's a good show, right? Yeah. One of my favorites. I see it as more of a comedy myself. Yeah, it's a horror comedy.
I don't think it was meant to be that much of a comedy, but I found it very funny. Yeah, just Drake being such a fucking dickbag. Z, also, with her little... being the fucking weirdo. Yeah. I mean, that's probably what you would expect from a very rich family, right? Entitled kids. Fighting over money. Fighting over everything because they hate the shit out of each other. Yeah.
One pilled up mom trying to keep everybody on a leash. Poor dad. Yeah, poor dad, yeah. Just trying to pretend he has a normal family for one fucking night. Oh, and it all goes to shit. Great show. You can stream this on Tubi if you're interested in Mates. I'm sure you've already seen it, but I think it definitely bears watching again. Oh, yeah. Check that shit out, man. Why don't we take us a little break, buddy? We'll come back with some other stuff. Sounds good.
Hey, inmates. If you like what you hear, head over to the Padded Room Facebook group and support us through the patron link with a small monthly donation. Check out the T-Villain link at paddedroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts. Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show. And we are back, buddy. Yeah. Oh, buddy, buddy. I bet you thought we were going to do a Home Invasion 3 on a meat hook, but you're wrong.
Three on a meat hook. We're not doing a meat hook. No, I'm just kidding. Let's do three on a meat hook there, jerkwad. Yeah. This week's Meat Hook Top 3 Shittiest Families in Horror Movies. Now, that can mean a lot of things. It could be a family that is shitty to other people or a family that's shitty to each other or just a shitty family or a family that smells real bad.
You can take this a lot of different directions, buddy. Okay. Now, I took it to interpret families that are shitty to each other kind of a thing. That's where I went with it. How about number three there, fella? Rosemary's Baby. Yeah, I mean, that's more of a couple, but... Well, it's a shitty family. The aunt, what she was doing. Yeah, there is the aunt also.
I cannot get into that movie, man, no matter how hard I try. It's just too fucking boring. I'm sorry. I don't get it. I'm not smart enough, I think is what the problem is. I don't understand all the nuance or whatever. My number three, the Grams. The what? The Grams. Never heard of that one. From a little film called Hereditary. Oh, oh, oh. I was thinking that was the name of the movie. No. The name of the family is The Grams.
A lot of problems here, bro. Yeah. A lot of things going on. We can start with a mentally unhinged mom who probably needs to be medicated and is working through some severe... um issues regarding to the loss of her mom who for all intents and purposes appears to be either abuse appeared to be either be abusive
or part of a demonic cult, or both, for that matter. And then we're going to put another scoop on top of that with the loss of the young sister, which is going to completely shatter the family. And then we have a spontaneously combusting dad who, for all intents and purposes, seems to be the only guy trying to hold it together. Right. That's a shitty family, buddy. Mm-hmm. That family sucks.
And you're waking the kids up by throwing gasoline on them every night. That's a bad way to wake the kids up. Yeah. I like to go in there and just give them a little nudge. You know, hey, time to get up. Let's go to school. That's right. Throw gasoline on him. What's the matter with you? Get up or I'm going to light your ass on fire. I'm going to fucking burn you and see how fast you get in the shower after you're on fire.
how about number two big fella uh the movie get out okay yeah yeah that's a shitty family um But I will say they all seem to be driven towards the one purpose. Yeah. And it's a shitty purpose. You can't be transplanting brains in people. No. Unethical. It's generally frowned upon in good society. Right. But they worked together. They had good teamwork. Yeah, they did. Yeah, a whole bait-and-switch thing. My number two, the Whites. Carrie White.
Yeah. And her. I thought about that one. Bat shit crazy mom. Single mom. Teenage daughter, that by itself sucks. Then you add the religious zealotry onto it. You know, you have the coming of age story with Carrie. Boys are starting to get interested. You're a religioso nutbag who is basically imprisoning her in the house.
completely failing to let her have a normal teenage existence in any way, shape, or form. And bad news for you, she's got telekinesis. And she can fire it off like a nuclear bomb. So look out for that, Sweet Pea. All things considered, I think Mom probably... died the least bad in that movie. She got pin cushioned, which sucks. But that's better than immolation, I'd say. I don't know. They both suck. If I had to pick between the two.
All right, buddy. How about number one? A movie we just watched. You're next. That's a shitty family. Yeah. They're backstabbing each other. They're hiring meth head mercenaries to come in and kill off everybody. That sucks. And they're just a bunch of rich pricks. I would put them in my honorable mention. And if we're in the rich prick category...
I would also include the family from Violent Night. Oh, yeah. They're stealing bazillions of dollars in international schemes and defense contracts and things like that. Yeah. And Beverly G. Angelo is still kind of hot and weird. milfy, porny kind of a way. It's got a filthy mouth on her too, which makes her even hotter. I'm a pervert. I'm a pervert, man. Yeah, that's a shitty family.
My number one is going to be The Wilsons from a movie called The Loved Ones. Oh. Now that I think is a prime example of how you can love your kids too much. I love my daughter very much. Do just about anything for her, but I will not go kidnap a boy from school and drill a hole in his head. Multiple boys, if you look at what was underneath the house, apparently. That's a little wacky, dude. That's going a little too far. You can have a good family.
You can't love your family too much, I think, if you're doing shit like that. That's too much, bro. You've got to dial it back. Drilling holes in people's heads. God. That is the meat hook for the weekend, mates. Top three shittiest horror families. Yeah. Feel free to take some creative liberties with that. We would love to know what your thoughts are. Mental health hotline is area code 775-387-0275. Or you get us on the regular old email. Just go to mail at paddedroompodcast.com.
We are going to reserve the right to make fun of you. So be prepared for that. Be ready. Especially if you have a bunch of dumb answers. It can't be any worse than Buddy's. Buddy doesn't know what the hell he's talking about most of the time. It's true. He's wrong. He's always wrong. In the meantime, we're going to tell you what movies we got to watch in a little segment called What Are You Looking At? What are you looking at?
So I watched that new Lee Whannell Wolfman movie. Yeah, I did too. You did too? I watched it right after the other movie. Yeah, okay. Well, what did you think? Um, nothing like I was expecting it to be. Me neither. I didn't realize we were going love story. Um... Yeah, I guess we did in a weird way. To me, it felt much more like an infection. Yeah, I could see that because he didn't go full on like wolf. I mean, even the guy that was full on wolf wasn't full on. No, he was just still human.
Yeah, he had, like, big teeth, and he's kind of hairy and ugly, but he looked much more like the Lon Chaney wolf man than, like, a howling. It's like a farmer wolf. Yeah. It's not a bad show, but I even struggle to call it a werewolf movie. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because it's just like this. It's like a hybrid, almost like a zombie kind of in a weird way. Or like he basically turns into one of the guys from a wrong turn. It felt like, um,
I guess I liked it. Yeah, I liked it. It's nothing what I was expecting. No, me neither. And in the spirit of the quote-unquote wolf man... I suppose if you want to look at it as a wolf man story, it's probably a lot closer to the source material. But if you're looking for a tried and true werewolf movie, this is not it. No. This is...
Family drama, kind of infection drama. I really liked what they did when you saw it from his perspective. Yeah, that was pretty cool. And they did that thing with the colors. That was pretty dope. I'll give it a thumbs up. I'll probably buy it. It's...
It's interesting. It's a new take. It is a new take, yeah. Yeah, it is interesting. Yeah, I watched that and I watched, oh, it's streaming on Peacock right now if anybody wants to check it out. I watched that and then Buddy and I and his family went to the movies and saw Until Dawn 2025. Pretty good. There is one dumb thing. And the more I think about it, the dumber it gets. Which part? The thing with the water.
oh that's kind of dumb dude i mean the first time you see it you're like oh fuck what the hell but by the third or fourth time you're like
Okay, but how does that even make sense? You know what I mean? I mean, really, it's... you can't do that but it's cool uh it's definitely gory uh the concept is there um has very little to do with the video game at all but um if you're looking for like a movie adaptation of the video game this is not it it's almost like what they tried doing was like a prequel to the game in a
In a weird way, except for Peter Stormare's character, the Doctor, he's in the video game. Oh, he is? Okay. So, unless they have a way to make that make sense, because at the very end of the movie... I don't want to spoil this, but you get to see the start of the video game in a weird kind of Easter egg-ish kind of thing. But the Doctor, played by Peter Stormare, is also in the video game as the Doctor, and he does something very similar in the video game.
It's a good concept. I like it. If they make another one, I'll check it out. But the water thing is kind of dumb. It feels very lazy to me. You know what I mean? Like, okay, we got to kill them off again. How are we going to do it? Oh, we'll just have them. Okay. How are we going to do that?
Water. Yeah. Well, it was nasty look of water when he turned it on. Well, yeah, but he let it run for a while and it looked fine. Yeah. I don't know. The more I think about it, the dumber that is. It feels very lazy in a writing. Come on, man. It looks cool, though. I give it a thumbs up. I give it a thumbs up, too. It was entertaining. It was. It was very silly. There is some cool stuff there. Oh, yeah. I really like The Witch. The zombies were pretty dope.
uh when we get into the haunted house mode that was pretty dope too i like how every time they went outside there was a different scenery oh yeah yeah i'd like to spend more time out there because you remember at one point they poke their head out and there's like a carnival on yeah that was pretty sweet but we never got to explore that no All right, anyway, that's all I'm looking at. You got anything else, buddy? Yeah. I was able to check out more of Black Mirror. Okay. Saw with a new season.
So number four play thing that Dusty was talking about. He was kind of raving about that one. Okay. And that's the video game one. So at the very end of that. I took a snapshot of the screen and sent it to you guys. You can actually download the video game that they were playing on it. And it's pretty dope. It actually has that whole DOS like pulling out just like it was back in the 90s. And in this game, they do the same exact thing.
You actually feel like you're playing the exact same one that was on the show. Oh, that's cool. And it's really cool. Nice. The other one was episode five, Uology, off of Black. you know, Black Mirror. Um, that was a really good one. Uh, pretty sad. The, the ending, it was like, oh shit. Um, but definitely worth a watch. Okay. Um, I got one more to go on it, but I haven't watched it yet just because, uh, Dusty was saying it was like,
the other star trek one from one of the original ones yeah i want to watch that one first and then go back to this one because i don't remember a whole lot about it i just didn't care for it so i'm like okay well since they're doing another one i'll go ahead and check it out right on uh And that was it. Okay. That's all I got to check out. Very cool. I guess it's time for some immersion therapy then. Yeah. Immersion Therapy I completely forgot how hot Christy Alley was in the late...
80s, early 90s. That was like her prime. Yeah, dude. Oh, wow. That part where they're like debugging her and she has to keep taking things off. Yeah. Yes, sir. We're talking about Runaway from 1980. something starring Tom Selleck it's a good show man it's more like I don't know if I call it a horror movie but it's kind of like a dystopian everybody's got a robot and now the robots are
fucking lawnmower bot goes crazy and kills the family. So you need a specialized police unit to go in there and defuse the robot. That's kind of cool. Yeah, it is. Gene Simmons. I felt like they gave him directions to just be himself and thus he acted all creepy all the time. Yeah. Drop the gun. Drop the gun. Okay. You're going to stick your tongue out at me, you big crazy bastard. Get out of here. Holding a guitar. Yeah. Drop the gun. Stupid. It's a good show, man. I've seen it 150 times.
uh what do you got for us this week buddy all right well courtesy of tom hardy let's check out 2023's here for blood this is about a girlfriend that's swamped with college exams pro wrestler agrees to cover her well-playing babysitting job what starts off as An easy night quickly spirals into bloody chaos when a murderous cult comes to abduct the child, and you'll find this gem on Prime and Tubi.
Ooh, yeah, let me tell you something, murderous cult. That's right. What you gonna do? What you gonna do? Gotta get through me. Stupid. Check that shit out, inmates. We'll do the same in Compare Notes next week. All right. Now it is time for a round of Who is Daddy? Who is daddy? First my clues from last week. I am a, um... A 12-year-old kid, I don't know, 8 to 12-year-old kid whose father just passed away.
Mom just inherited a big creepy house, so we have to move in there because we're kind of financially unstable at the moment. And goddamn, if there isn't a bunch of... Creepy little dudes running around the place. um they're pretty creepy looking and at first I thought the place was haunted because they're moving shit around and stuff but then I got to know these guys and they're actually not that bad
I am, of course, don't be afraid of the dark, buddy. Yeah. Kicking off Guillermo del Toro month next week. Yes, sir. Who might I be this week, you ask, though? Well, I am a wizard, buddy. Oh. I am. And I am actually kind of a retired wizard, but I still have my wizardly library. with all my grimoires and all that stuff, so I could still do magic. Okay. Unfortunately, my little friend just flew into my castle here, and goddamn, if somebody didn't turn him into a bird.
Who the fuck is out turning people into birds? I'm the wizard of the area here. I guess there's a new wizard in town, and now I gotta go battle his ass to turn my friend... Back into a human being.
I can't tell you the name of the bird because it's kind of in the title of the movie. But yeah, now I got to go battle this fucker and he's going to put some magic on me. I'm going to use my magic on him. Oh, also he has... a very talented actor who i guess is his manservant and he's using him and now that son of a bitch is talking to my daughter okay i don't know if i approve of that start with he seems like a decent kid but
That's my daughter, man. I can't. Okay, I'm going to have to go lay the law down on this wizard and his manservant and get my friend turned back from a bird. Son of a bitch. Who might I be? You ask. Tune in next week and I'll drop some knowledge on you, inmates. In the meantime, I think that's about going to do it for us. Thank you very much for joining us, inmates, as usual. Like, comment, subscribe wherever you found this show. That helps our visibility quite a bit.
do have a campaign running over at patreon just head on over to paddedroompodcast.com you'll find all the links you need there t-villain links uh fucking email links that's your one-stop shop of how to find out If you're, if that's what you're into, or you could just ask me, I'll send you a picture. Don't get your hopes up though. Okay. I don't know if you're what, what your, your impression of me is.
But I'm going to disappoint. Is it dirty underwear? It could be. Streets. I haven't been working out as much. I should probably take a look at my diet. But all right, enough about that. Join us next week for Devil's Backbone, kicking off Guillermo del Toro month here in the padded room. In the meantime, for Dusty and Absentia, Buddy, who is here, Battling Wizards,
Fucking wrestlers who get roped into babysitting gigs apparently. Rogue robots and the damage they can do. Gene Simmons when he wants to be a prick. of course, and the drugs that they may or may not be on, and the people who may or may not have hired them to come in here. Christy Alley in her prime. A young, supple, very busty Christy Alley. And the Padded Room Podcast. I'm afraid visiting hours are over. Bye and have a great week.