Well, whatever. Just never mind then, buddy. This is the Padded Room Podcast. I am your host. My name is Darian. I have been here for 14 years. God damn it. Buddy is also here. Hey, what's going on? He's been here for what? Seven or eight at least, right? Yeah, or more. Been a while. Been a while, buddy. 2013. Oh, good Lord. 12 years. No. Yeah. No. No! Not 2013. Yeah, when the movie came out.
Oh, shit, you're right. Yeah. Yeah. God damn it, man. Yep. Woo! So like 12 for you, right? 13, yeah, about 12 years. God damn it, man. Yeah. It's been a while. Hello. No Dusty this weekend, mates. He is, I believe, in Vegas. Is that where he said he was going? Yes. Son of a bitch.
Yeah. Look at him go. I hope he's hammered right now. Yeah, and staying cool. Yeah, that too. It's hot down there. It's cooled right off on us, though. Yeah, all of a sudden. Yeah. It was a pretty nice day up until about an hour ago. Now it's all overcast and bullshit. Mm-hmm.
Yeah, man. What happened? I took my wife to Yosemite over the weekend. Yeah, I saw the pictures. That was fun. It was a good little romantic get the fuck away from the kids for a minute. Get away. Anything like closed or blocked off or anything when you went that way? What do you mean? Like road-wise? Yeah. No, everything was wide open. Not even the park? The park was wide open, yeah, dude. Okay, cool. We got in there. We got to go hike around the falls. I was not dressed for that. No? No.
My chandeliers got rubbed ragged, if you understand what I'm saying. I didn't know it was going to be like an athletic event. Something you just drive by, hey, there's a waterfall. There's a pretty hill over there, nice mountain, and we drive back. No, you got to get out and...
Investigate. Five mile hike. Oh, yeah. I think we did like four and a half miles or something like that. Trying to find a fucking bridge that doesn't even exist. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that sucks. Signs all over the place. We're looking for El Capitan Bridge. We're, you know, on foot going through the trails. El Capitan Bridge, two miles this way. Okay, let's go.
Three miles and about an hour later, still no fucking bridge. That's how people get lost and stranded. I'm telling you. And everywhere we go, beware of bears. Don't feed the bears. Watch out for bears. Here's the food. It's bear season, yeah. There's a bridge. It's bear, but there's a bridge out that way. Sure. That's the name of the bear. Painting the signs. Yeah. I'm El Capitan, the bear. That's right.
Come over here. I'm going to show you something stupid. Well, it was fun, though. We had a good time. That's real good. And the weather was nice. It's a little different now. But what about you, man? What's up with you? I ended up getting a sore throat like Thursday evening. I started to feel a little bit. Yeah. And then Friday at work, I was like, okay.
Yeah, it's starting to bother me a little bit. Didn't sleep at all Friday night. And then so in the middle of the night, I'm like, you know what? I got to see what places are open on the weekends. There's nothing. No urgent care. There's nothing. And they have this little online medical thing. Teladoc? Yeah. So it's like.
I got to check this out. So I made myself an appointment. Yeah. Sure. Shit. Yeah. 30 bucks, you know, for the appointment. And then, uh, they, uh, do the prescriptions like right next to, well, right on the drive, right?
You know, close to my house. Yeah, yeah. And I was like, oh shit, that was pretty cool. Yeah, I've done that before. Yeah? Yeah, when I had, what was it, pneumonia a couple years ago. I was doing my best to not have to miss any work. Right. So I just don't. That was my thing. Yeah. I dialed the guy up. He gets on your FaceTime thing. Yeah, it's like a FaceTime. Zoom, FaceTime, whatever. Yeah, like an asshole. I'm there with my shirt off.
Guy's like, you don't look so good, buddy. I don't feel too good. Yeah. And then the doctor basically told me, No, no, I can't. You gotta get me something. I'm dying. I'm gonna die! Yeah. That was stupid. Right on, man. The cough is still lingering a little bit, but my throat's like way better before I couldn't swallow.
I couldn't even touch, like, the outside of my throat because it was, like, so swollen and, like, it hurt to touch it. But, yeah, it's on the healing path. All right. Well, I'm going to go ahead and cancel the padded room makeout session tonight. All right. All right. We're not. No, no. No, no. Don't give me the sad face. I got these cheeseburgers. You got cheeseburgers? All right, you fucker. We got a regular horror show to get into here. We got listener mail and horror news, all that stuff.
Ho ho ho ho ho ho. Horror news. Take it away, buddy. All right, I got one here for you. Sam Neill is going to join the Monsterverse in the next Godzilla Kong movie. Okay. I'm not caught up on these. I think I saw the first Godzilla Kong and then that was it. And I guess there's like another one out there.
A few, actually. Is there a few more since then? Yeah, I don't know. I'm not paying attention, really. Yeah, and I guess this next untitled MonsterVerse movie is going to be released in theaters March 26th. 2027 holy shit okay yeah all right we gotta wait we gotta ways to wait for this one. Alright, that's cool.
I'll get to it eventually. Maybe by then I'll be caught up. Right, yeah. Probably not, but, you know. Yeah, same. That's all I got. What do you got? All right, man. Warner Brothers has confirmed a new Gremlins movie and a Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. So we're going to get both of those, apparently. All right, so it's not going to be a remake. No details yet about either one of these. I like gremlins, so I'm down for it. The Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. A sequel to the movie that just came out? Yes.
Okay. Interesting. Yeah. I don't know. Apparently, it did pretty good at the box office. It did. I enjoyed it, too. We're going to crank those. I haven't seen that one, either. Oh, that's a good one. If you like the original, definitely. That's what I figured. Yeah. It's kind of hard to fuck that up. Right. But, you know, I'm sure it could happen. Speaking of things that could possibly get fucked up, Ryan Gosling. is reportedly producing a Killer Clowns from Outer Space reboot.
Okay, is this his first one? No, he's actually made some pretty good horror movies. Okay. Yeah. Cool. I don't know what his pedigree for killer clowns in outer space looks like. A fan mail, probably. Sure, I'm into it. Okay, fine, I'll do it. As he opens up another letter. I hate to think that he's going to be one of the killer clowns. That would be stupid as shit. That would be dumb.
I'm sure he's going to put himself a little cameo somewhere. I'm sure he'll be in there. Got to put his name on the poster somehow. Yeah. What else we got here? You brought up Godzilla. Yeah. Godzilla destroys the Marvel Universe. Comic book coming out from Marvel this June. Okay. So I guess it's all the superheroes are going to fight Godzilla. Well, I guess that's probably going to come later on down the theater line. I don't think.
that's too many that's just too much man godzilla the monster verse and the marvel universe no no you know who's who else is missing in that universe the rock cthulhu oh that he'd fuck that whole shit up right yeah you're in trouble What else we got here? Are you ready for, speaking of reboots, are you ready for this big Silent Night, Deadly Night reboot?
Sure. What is that supposed to mean? I don't know about the whole reboot, though. I don't care. Those movies are dog shit. Let's be honest. Yeah. They are. I mean, the stupid... They're more like... I don't know. Sign me up for the wrong Ryan Gosling movie. Okay. I'll skip this one. This one's, I mean. The first one wasn't that great. It had Linnea Quigley's boobs in it. You got that.
And then after that, the whole franchise just went cuckoo bananas. Yeah. Like the second one was just a bunch of clips from the first movie. Uh-huh. And one guy yelling garbage day. Yeah. Yeah. So, really, there's nowhere to go but up for Silent Night, Deadly Night, I would say. The remake is just a reboot, actually, has just casted Ruby Modine. who is in tonight's feature film, and Rowan Campbell. I don't know who Rowan Campbell is. Nope.
That would be cool. Mr. Bean? Yeah. He's a Santa Claus killer? Yeah. I'd tune in to that. I would too, actually. I definitely would. I'd watch the shit out of that one. Horror comedy. Yeah. It's like killing people with dirty socks and stuff. Stupid. I hope I win. Lastly, it looks like Darren Lynn Bousman is teasing a 4K release of Saw 2. Oh, cool. That'll be cool. That was probably my favorite of all the Saw movies. Although I haven't seen part 10.
Yeah, me either. I've heard good things. Okay. That's all I got on the horror news, dude. You ready for some listener mail? Mm-hmm. Listener Mail No emails this week, dude, but we do have some voicemails coming at us. Okay. Let's start things off with our main man in Alabama. Alan is here. Hey, what's going on, Alan? What's up? Maybe late to the party. Nah. Anyway, serial killer movies. Yeah, what do you think? That's a good one. And... Huh. I honestly like soul.
I mean, there's a lot of them. I'm not going to slash her, but... I'll tell you the Saw movies anyway, Mr. Darien. Your Pacific Rim? Yeah. That was a much easier day. He rented a Pacific Rim job. That's all I got. Talk to you all later. Bye. Beautiful. Pacific Rim Jump. Take this, you big old monster. Oh, come on. Oh, no. I need a biotic jaw for this one. Oh, God. You're disgusting. Speaking of disgusting, here comes Mr. Mad Max himself. Tom Hardy's in the house. Hey, Tom Hardy.
Hey-o. Welcome back. Hey-o. What's up, big baby? Been a while. Hope everybody is doing well. Hope you got to. Everybody there with you. Well, I want to get in real quick. Been out for a bit. Yeah. And keeping up with the padded room when I can. Okay. Anyway, let me get down that meat hook there. We got them serial killer movies. Yes, sir. You know what? Number three, put me down for America. Psycho. Oh, yeah. And number one and number two, uh, it's gonna have to be, uh, number seven and, uh,
I can't even think of a damn flick now. Ah, shit. You know, Hannibal Lecter, Silence of the Lambs. Oh, Silence of the Lambs. There you go. As far as what's one, what's two, I don't know. Interchange of them. Depends on which day you ask me. Okay. Yeah, it was some great flicks, man. Fucking, both of them are great.
Nice. Depends on which day you ask me, which one I think is better. That's fair. As far as the what are you looking at department, I got to catch a couple of things. Okay. Again, I got to catch the Flick Slayers. It was alright. It was like a vampire hunting kind of thing, but had Thomas Jane in it as the main vampire hunter guy. I didn't care for it. It was kind of cool. I feel like...
If it would have just committed to being a hard R, it could have been a better flip. That's the worst. I hate that shit. Solid Flick Apollo 18. Oh, yeah. That is a good one. I've seen it before. It's a good one for me. I recommend it. Right on. Fuck, man. I've got to ask. has anybody watched that, um, the dead won't, the dead don't die. I have. Yeah. Or whatever the fuck that Bill Murray zombie. Yeah. Yeah. I fucking watched that thing, man. I can't fucking figure it out, dude. Like...
First off, let me just say this. I don't like it. It's not a good flick in my eyes. I agree. It seemed like they were trying to... Like they were trying to create a cult movie, you know what I mean? Sure. I don't know, man. The fucking movie's stupid. I was like, well, it's going to have something. First off, I remember when it came out, thinking to myself, oh, cool, you know what? a big-budget studio zombie flick, you know? And it's going to be a comedy. It's got Bill Murray.
It's not fucking funny. Nope. It's not scary. Nope. Ultimate sin, I'd say. It's not even fucking interesting. I don't know. It was just a complete fucking piece of shit for me. It was a complete waste of time. I don't know. Maybe I didn't get it. Anybody in the fucking padded room that did, let me know what the fuck this is about. What did I...
GP, of course. How much do you remember about The Dead Don't Die? Quite a bit. I just watched it like, I don't know, two months ago. Yeah? Yeah. My impression of it was, number one, I don't like it. Number two... I kind of feel like I'm not... Like there's supposed to be some kind of fucking messaging here. Or... Like...
This is some meta take on something that I'm just not smart enough to understand. Yeah, I didn't get it. I didn't like it one bit. It was way too slow. Yeah, very slow. The whole daylight thing, I could have gone with or without it. It really didn't play a big part in a movie. No. So, I don't know. No, I agree. I felt like it was trying to be a lot funnier than it actually was. Yeah. So, I don't know. If I remember right, I got a couple of chugs.
Mainly from Selena Gomez. I thought, if I remember right, her and her loser road buddy. Kind of funny. Been a long time since I've seen it, though. I have no interest in revisiting it. I don't recommend it. Tom Hardy called back. GP'd, baby. Anyway, like I was saying, man, I don't get it. You let me know. Maybe I fucking missed it. I don't think so. As far as the educating department. You got them all, dude. I'm fucking back.
Yeah. No idea who the fuck you are. Fuck me on that. Oh, come on. That's an easy one, dude. I did. I was out of the country for a bit. We were in Italy. Look at you. And we did go to Rome. And I didn't know this was there, but I fucking had to go, man. I found out there is a little Dario Argento museum there. Not much of a museum. It's more like a bookshop. Down underneath, you know, they have props and shit like that.
some of his splits. Yeah. Nice. He actually owns that place. It didn't take long to go through, but it was fun, man. I'd highly recommend it. It's called Profundo Rosso. which I guess is how you say Deep Red in Italian. Like I said, all in all, thought it was fun. Thought it was a good time. Took some pics. Nice. Let me see if I can figure out how to get them up on that pad room website. All right. Anyway, that's all I got. Hope all is well. Love you like family. Bye.
Love you too, Tom Hardy. He got to go to Profundo Rosso. How dope is that, man? I would love to go there. Glad you had a good time in Italy, you son of a bitch. Glad to have you back on the listener mail. I'm just going to assume that you got all of the Hoosier daddies while you were gone, because You got a pretty solid track record here at Tom Hardy. Made him pretty easy, too.
Right on, man. You got anything for Alan or Tom Hardy? Hey, welcome back, Tom Hardy. Good to have you back on. Absolutely. Let's do a movie, shall we? Four hours, my total earnings are an expired Applebee's coupon. A sweater that smells like racism. It's exactly your size. Deliverable meal base. It's outside our zone. I'll do it. Are you ready to make an investment in your future? Yes! to take back what you are owed. Are you ready to fully commit yourself to Satan?
Yes! Who are you? I'm the pizza guy. A girl. Are he by any chance a virgin? That's a very personal question. She's a virgin. Do you have any idea what's happening here tonight? They are summoning Baphomet, the big demon from hell. And when that clock strikes 12, he's gonna rip you open. Where's my virgin? I don't know what's happening. My mom and her butt buddies are booty calling Baphomet. And they're not going to stop until you're strapped to a barbed wire altar. That's...
Any idea why the rich stay rich? You stay screwed. Better health care. Help me! They are stronger than us. Virgin, no sacrifice. Let me protect you. Who are you people? Death to the weak, wealth to the strong. Stop drinking. You really want to face this over? I'm sorry! It is Satanic Panic from 2019, buddy. Yeah. 5.6 stars on IMDb, directed by Chelsea Startup.
Huh? Yeah, I don't think that's a real name, but go fuck yourself, Chelsea. By a stripper, huh? Yeah, maybe. Chelsea Stardust. Written by Grady Hendrix, starring Rebecca Romijn, A.J. Bowen, and Hayley Griffin. This is A.J. Bowen Appreciation Month here in the padded room. Very limited part in this one, but I think he was... He did fine. Yeah, he was delightful. I liked him more at the beginning of this. Okay. He was funny. He was trying. He was really trying. I give him credit for that.
I feel like he should have worked at a Starbucks, though. Right. You know? But we pick up, our film picks up in a very affluent neighborhood. We get a quick little drive-through of the place. Manicured lawns, giant houses. stately, you know, topiary. Things like that. Everything you'd expect to see in a very rich neighborhood. And then we go inside one of these houses where we find a young lady and a young man mid-coitus buddy, as they say. She is on top.
And for some reason, she still has her shirt on. Yeah, that was kind of weird. I hate that. I know. It's like, really? This is a horror movie. What are you doing? Just whip them out, man. Nobody has sex with their shirts on. Except for me, because I'm self-conscious. Nipples the size of dinner plates, but that's... Nobody wants to look at me. You know what I mean? Well... Nothing you know of.
uh this we're kind of in pov land here but the chick on top gets freaked out and like jumps off the guy and then the guy goes backpedaling out of the room and then he gets chased down and presumably killed then we cut to our main character Her name is Sam, and this is her first night delivering pizzas. And she's going to predicate this by playing some acoustic guitar.
she's got like a like a self-made cell phone vid Australia Australia now the horror has begun I cannot hang with acoustic guitar And anytime I see somebody playing one, I just want to take it away from them and throw it. If our friend Chuck was here, he'd probably have one tear come out because he loves playing himself some acoustic guitar. He used to do it at work in the parking lot, and it pissed me off. Oh, my gosh. Yeah, he'd go, hey, I'm going to sing you a little song here.
It's weird and uncomfortable. I don't need you serenading me in the parking lot, Chuck. Hold on, let me get these candles out. Exactly. God, I can't get away from you fast enough when you do that. All right, anyway. He's actually pretty good on the guitar. I don't know if you've heard him play. Anyway, yeah, she's got a ridiculous song that she wrote about Australia. It's going to make sense later, but she's showing her co-workers at the pizza place.
One played by A.J. Bowen, a guy named Duncan, and the other guy who's, I forget his name, but he's just there. And they both kind of laugh at her because they're like, Australia! After that, A.J. Bowen then mercilessly begins hitting on Sam. And to be fair, Sam is pretty hot. She's played by Hayley Griffith. She's got a banging body on her. And we're going to get more into that as the movie goes on.
AJ Bowen's probably at least twice her age, you know, but you can tell he's like got the cool guy hat on and he's like trying to impress her with his. knowledge of things and you know This is your first night on the job. Let me tell you how this works. Trying to swag it up. Yeah. She's not buying it. She's getting creeped out, as she should. And then the manager of the pizza place comes around the corner and he's like, hey, I got three orders. Get on your bike.
Or cars or whatever. And everybody takes off. Sam goes out to deliver her first round of pizzas. Now, it's worth mentioning that Sam's on a moped. And it is pouring rain. Vespa. Vespa, yeah. Vespa. And... I'm not going to tip you if my pizza gets to me soaking wet.
Yeah. Or cold. Or cold. Yeah, I imagine that's a problem, too. But should we see her? It is in the heat bag, though. Well, yeah, she had to put a safety deposit down on the heat bag. But at least it's in that, not just, like, pizza box. strapped on her. Oh, I just fucking get out of here. I'm not paying for that. Right. Wet cardboard and disgusting cheese. But we get some comedic little moments here where she routinely gets stiffed by the people she delivers pizzas to. First guy.
She shows up with the pizza and he's like, hey, help me move this couch real quick. And she's like, no, I'm here to deliver the pizza. And he's like, what's your name? Sam. Oh, that's my name too. Yeah, whatever. Yeah, totally. You got to help me move this couch. It's the code of the Sams. You know, there's five billion Sams and Samanthas and Samuels out there. We always help each other out. So, reluctantly, she helps this guy move his couch, and then he stiffs her on the pizza.
Dick. Yeah. And then she delivers another pizza to an old lady who Tips her a sweater. Oh, yeah. Ugly Christmas sweater. Yeah, from like her... Dead husband. Dead husband, yeah. Yeah. My husband Richard isn't going to wear this in heaven. And then she goes to like a weird sex cam house where the chick opens the door and tries to get her to pee on a guy's face. Yeah. For 12 bucks. I'll pay you 12 bucks if you pee on this guy's face.
That's an odd amount to be set to set the standard. It's very specific. Yeah. Yeah. It's like $12. What are you short on? What's the other part of it? How about a $20? We start with a $20. $12. I mean, if I had to, she's like, do you have to go? And Sam's like, no, I just went. Sorry. And then she asked for her change back. Oh, yeah. She tipped her a quarter.
Or gave her the cash. It was like 1975. She gave a 20 and then it goes right back and then she opens the door and snags the corner. Where's my change? It's laundry day. All right, well, that's interesting. So Sam's getting stiff left and right. Oh, man. She goes back to the pizza place for her next round of deliveries. We got a big order going to a place called Mill Basin.
Yeah. Which is the affluent neighborhood that we started off with, with the beginning and the chick riding the guy. So the other delivery man's like, woo, you're going to Mill Basin. That's a rich neighborhood. They stiffed me once and I came around the corner and I was like, hey, motherfucker, give me, you better fucking tip me. And I peeped in the window and everybody was having sex with each other.
Yeah. And Sam's like, great. And apparently joined in or something like that. Yeah, he said he... Oh, yeah, he said he passed his Vespa helmet around at the end after he banged everybody and walked out with like $35 or something. Okay there, big dick McGee. Take it easy. Sam's like, oh, perfect. Just what I need. So she hops on her Vespa and straps her pizzas down and takes off to Mill Basin.
Gets there. It's the big impressive houses and the manicured lawns and the topiary. Gets to the address. Has to buzz herself into the gate to get to the front door. Gets there. Knocks on the door. Guy opens it up. Doesn't say a word. Collects the pizzas. Okay. Am I the only one that's never heard of this? One of the pizzas had sweet corn on it? Yeah. Is that a thing? Not that I know of. Not that I know of. I don't know if it's like an East Coast thing or what. Who the fuck puts corn on a pizza?
That's pretty weird. What are you doing? More to the point. And I think anchovies is weird. I've had anchovies on a pizza. Oh, me too. They're disgusting. Yeah. I'll never do that again. I got curious one night. But. What kind of pizza place offers to put corn on the pizza? Right? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, let me go next door to the grocery store. Yeah, no, I'm not putting corn on your pizza. I'm not. Have some self-respect, will you?
All right, anyway. You know you want to try it. No! No! You know what? It was on that movie. I've got to try this. You know what? You can put some fish on the pizza. Corn, that's where I draw the fucking line, mister. that's so that's interesting but the guy stiffs her and uh she's like oh come on man this is a rich neighborhood she's like well fine whatever Goes back out, goes through the gate, gets on her Vespa to leave. Now all of a sudden the Vespa doesn't start. Yeah. Shit.
So she's like, all right, well, the motherfucker stiffed me. I needed whatever tip he was going to give me for gas. I'm probably out of gas. Now I feel, now I'm pissed off. So now she's like, I'm going to go in there and I'm going to tell him he owes me at least a fiver for gas so I can get the fuck out of here and get my Vespa started. These rich motherfuckers. Son of a bitch.
She starts peeping around the outside windows. They're having, I guess, a dinner party or something. They're all gathered in the main entryway, like a ballroom type of situation. She gets in using a side door, creeps around, gets into the crowd area where I would say there's probably, I don't know, what do you think, 15, 20 people?
gets in there, and this is where we're going to meet Rebecca Romaine. She plays Susan, and she is the head of this situation. Now, it looked to me at first like they were doing some kind of a pyramid. or something you know what I mean because she's up there she's like you can be better
You are better. You deserve better. She's like, you know, giving one of these Tony Robbins speeches. Right. And then at the end, as Sam's making her way through the crowd, it's, excuse me, the little guy with the mustache, I need to find him. And then at the end of this stupid speech, Susie's like, and tonight we are going to worship Satan and bring forth the changer of ways or whatever. And everybody's like, hail Satan! And there's...
Okay, so now this is some kind of a satanic cult thing is what's happening. Hail Baphomet! Hail Baphomet! At this point, Sam is like tapping people on the show. Have you seen that little guy with the mustache? I think he owes me some money. She sees her pizzas off on a table there.
She starts walking towards the pizzas and then she starts talking to this blonde lady. And then the blonde lady's like, who the hell are you? What are you doing in here? You can't be in here. And Sam's like, I'm the pizza guy. I got it. And then this is when everybody realizes that they've been infiltrated by.
Sam. And they're like, hey, what the hell are you doing here? And she's like, look, I delivered the pizzas. The little guy stiffed me. And I don't fucking know. My Vespa won't start. I just need a couple of dollars for gas. I'll get the hell out of here. While that's going on, Susan and her, I guess, protege, her right hand, Satan worshiper, a lady named Gypsy. are having a little side argument about where the Virgin is.
So whatever they're doing tonight, apparently they have to sacrifice a virgin. And now they don't have one all of a sudden because we're going to, as we go, Susan is like... Well, yeah. Impregnate a virgin. Yeah, but it's got to be a virgin when you step into this octagon, so to speak. And... I can tell you that the young lady at the beginning was riding that dick there, buddy, and she is no longer a virgin.
As we can kind of do the math here, we'll realize that that chick was actually Susan's daughter, and she was going to be the sacrificial virgin, but she got a little horny coming in the home stretch there, and now that's off the table. Yeah. Shit. So they're like, well, we need another virgin. What are we going to do? And then Susan just happens to notice Sam, who's still trying to get some money for gas. And she's like, you, are you a virgin? And Sam's like.
That's a very personal question. I'm not comfortable discussing this. That's a fucking virgin right there. Only a virgin would answer like that. He asked it exactly right. Now, at this point, like Susan snaps her fingers and all of her minions grab Sam and hold her down. Susan comes up and like blows some powder in her face. And she goes unconscious. Okay, interesting. From there, she regains consciousness. She's like in a side parlor room.
And she's hanging out watching football with Jerry O'Connell. Right? How cool is that? Tell me you're a douchebag without telling me you're a douchebag. You're over the age of... of 22 and you're still vaping right you are a douchebag my friend uh he's like well hey welcome to the party sleepyhead uh they're gonna kill us tonight so that's what we're doing And she's like, what? Oh, my head. No. And Jerry's like, yeah, they're Satan worshippers.
They're going to kill me because my bitch whore of a wife is the cult leader out there. And all I do is make money and support her. So now I have to die. And they're probably going to kill you because I guess you're a virgin. And she's like. That's personal. I mean, Jerry thinking, you know, he's wanting to do the right thing here. He's going to protect this young lady. As any gentleman should. As he should. He's going to do the right thing.
thing and he's going to no matter how hard it takes de-virginize her and to do that he strips right down to his tighty whiteys he was fully clothed and then boom just like that he was in his underwear and he's charging at her, full steam ahead. That was hilarious. I'm doing this for your own good, okay? I got to protect you from the cult out there, so I got to bang you to see you're not a virgin. She's like, ah, gross. And then they go back and forth. They chase each other around.
Outside, we are now in the throes of a full mutiny pretty much because Gypsy and her... Her husband, I think it was her husband. I think so. Fucking, what is that guy? He's in every Rob Zombie movie. He's got a very distinct face. Daniel something, Jeff Phillip Daniel. Is that his name? Give me two seconds. This is going to drive me crazy. I'm wanting to call him Jeffrey Dean Morgan. He's one of those actors that has three first names. Yeah. You son of a bitch. What is it?
hold on there His name is Jeff Daniel Phillips. I was close. You were close. He's in there, and he's like, I think he's Gypsy's husband. He's like, God damn it, Susan, you fucked this up good. Now what are we going to do? In the meantime... Jerry and Sam are chasing each other. She's trying to not have to. see him without the tidy whities and he's wanting to protect her wanting to air quote protect her
At a certain point, Susan hears all the banging around going on in there, so she comes in with a gun? Or no? Actually, Jerry had the gun. He pulled it out. He pulled it out, yeah. Yeah, and he's like, hey, how do you like this? I got it for my bitch wife so she could protect herself. They struggle with the gun. Somehow the gun goes off and it clips Jerry like right in the neck and he basically starts bleeding out. That's when the cult rushes in.
Sam, in the meantime, uses that opportunity to escape and go running out into the neighborhood. This is kind of gross. Susan comes in and she's like, God damn it, Jerry. You couldn't just keep her here. Where did she go anyway? And he's just, blood's coming out. So she reaches into the bullet hole, like elbow deep, like all the way down. And she pulls out his quote unquote soul, which.
Was it his heart? Or it was some kind of organ. Yeah, it looked like his heart connected to his intestines or something. It was like a meaty thing going on. And it had like little lightning bolts going around it. Yeah. Okay. So here's his soul. I got it.
She tells her at one of her minions, you've got to preheat the oven to 450 and put some... bay leaves down and then uh use the bad the bad uh sauce pan because i don't want this thing fucking up my good good wear yeah so you gotta apparently she's gonna put a soul in the oven and
Bake it into a cake or something. We'll get more into that in a minute. Yeah. Don't use the Lake Reset. Use the Walmart. Exactly. Don't use the cheap stuff. All right. Well, that's interesting and kind of gross. In the meantime. Sam has now made her way out into the neighborhood and she's running around trying to get help. Huge neighborhood. A lot of real estate between houses. So she makes it to a house, presumably down the street somewhere.
Bangs on the door. Young lady lets her in. And we're going to find this young lady is babysitting two kids. Yeah. Sam gets in there. She's like, oh my god, you gotta help me. Sky just got... shot down the street and they blew smoke, uh, like... some kind of sand in my eyes and it made me go to sleep.
And the chick is like, oh, my God, just chill out, okay? I'm going to call the cops right now. Let me get you something to drink and some clothes. At this point, Sam, what, got her pizza T-shirt ripped off? Mm-hmm. You don't get to see her boo. But you do get to see her in like a black halter top thing. Yeah. Haley Griffith.
is very well endowed i need to do some investigation on her let me know where you find i will and then uh yeah uh anyway there's uh There's like a minute where they're like, she's like, okay, she's babysitting these two kids in this house. She's like, let me get you something to drink and I'll go call the cops real quick. Haley's like, yeah, great. The two kids are there. They're like, I don't know, 10 years old.
They're watching some violent movie and they're like, I can see your boobs. The chick comes back with a soda. Haley doesn't... Sam doesn't take a drink. She just kind of sets it down for a second and she's watching what the kids are watching on TV. It's like some chick pointing a gun at another chick's head or something and she's hearing like a sound coming from upstairs. So she's like, that's interesting. In the meantime, one of the kids steals the soda and slams it.
And, uh, the babysitter comes back and Haley's like, or God damn it. Sam is like, Hey, did you call the cops? And she's like, oh, that's what I forgot to do. Whoopsie. In the meantime, the kid that slammed the soda falls down dead. Yeah. Well, what the hell is that all about? At this point, the babysitter chick is like, uh, uh, he just, he's got a sugar allergy. You can't, you can't, uh, why would you give a kid a soda? And she's like, that's the soda you gave me.
So now there's like a little tussle, and this is where we realize that the babysitter is actually working with the satanic cult. A little bit of a tussle. The babysitter chases Sam up the stairs where the babysitter's sister comes out of a side room. wearing what is described as a kill doe kill doe it's a big strap on um It's basically a giant drill bit cock. I don't know what the plan was with that, but I don't want to be on the receiving end of it. No. Absolutely not. And the –
Fight kind of continues. I don't think it's going to tickle you. No. That's going to leave you agape, possibly in orifices that you didn't already have. Right. Yeah. So the tussle continues. Sam does like a weird thing with her sweater. She like wraps it around the Kildo and spins the blonde sister into the babysitter's sister and they impale each other through a wall.
But then since the Kildo is hitting the electrical wiring inside the house, it electrocutes the blonde sister and the babysitter is already impaled with the Kildo. Now we have no power in the house. That's wacky. Uh, Sam hears like a muffled screaming coming from the room that the blonde came out of. So she goes in there and that's where we find Susan's daughter, Judy, who was the one getting fucked at the beginning of the movie.
Tied up and naked and presumably was about to get kill doed, buddy. Yes. She's got a nice butt on her. That was, what's her name? Rudy Modine. who I guess is going to be in the... Fucking reboot. We were doing the Silent Night, Deadly Night reboot. We're going to get to know Rudy Modine quite a bit because she's got some bra and panty scenes coming up. She's naked right now, but you don't get to see much other than her butt.
Nice shapely behind if I do say so myself. A little side butt. Yeah, a little side butt. She gets up and she's going to spill the beans on what the fuck is actually going on. They needed to sacrifice a virgin to Baphomet to bring him or her into the world. And it was going to basically be like a demonic apocalypse thing. But this little rich cult was going to rise to power within it. basically rule the world after the coming of Baphomet. Hate or...
Judy was supposed to be the sacrificial virgin, but got a little randy in the homestretch there, unfortunately, but it did save her life, almost. I mean, would you rather get Kildoed, or would you rather give birth to Baphomet? Either way, your vagina is getting ripped. It's getting gaped either way. And just blown the fuck up. Yeah. So take your chances, I guess.
All right, that's gnarly. And on top of that, so Judy is Susan's daughter, so she knows all the black magic stuff. Yeah. She knows how to, like... you know, do spells and stuff like that. She knows all of what's going on, everything they need to do to counter spells, all that shit. So that's good. She is kind of a spoiled twat, but other than that, she's okay for now. So her and Sam kind of strike up like an uneasy...
partnership to where Sam's like, I'm going to get you out of here. And Susie's like, uh, Why? Don't even bother because the end of the world is tonight anyway at midnight. So you, you get out of here. You're the virgin. So as long as you get the fuck out of here, they're going to kill me regardless. So there's that. Okay, in the meantime, The Cult, now led by Jim... is doing some weird shit to try to track down...
They start by, they take the sole out of the oven and then they cut it open. It's now like the size of a Christmas ham, right? Yeah, a turkey. Yeah, it started off the size of your fist. Now it's like the size of a turkey. Yeah. Fucking mouth thing comes out and they put a little blood on it. It starts sucking the finger. Ew. What is the point of that exactly? I don't know. I guess it's going to come. To give it life. Well, I think it.
Because we don't see it again like for the rest of the movie. But I think we see something at the end. I think that kind of grew into that. I don't know. I'm just putting that out there. They try to do another magic ritual to find Sam. uh susan has now been like uh uh banished from the coven so she's off on her own but gypsy and her chuckleheads are doing a ridiculous uh I don't know. They put a blindfold on Gypsy, and they cut her open, and they're all chanting. And I guess...
That like gives them an idea of where they're trying to, somehow it starts affecting Judy. So Judy is like, oh, oh, and she starts like coughing up hair. They're doing a fucking thing. You got to seal my, she said, you got to seal my skin. So Sam has to, like, write a bunch of stuff on her skin. I don't know what the point of that is. She's like, keep a bunch of...
Counter spell of some sort. Strips down to a bra and panties for us. So there's that. I was just drawing tic-tac-toe boards and fun little smiley faces and writing her name, writing her name backwards.
writing her name on her butt, using her butthole as the O in her name. That's kind of fun. All the O's already there. Yeah. In the meantime, though, when Sam escaped the first house, Susan's house she dropped her phone so now we're gonna cut to Susan who's like I'm gonna get I'm gonna do this my goddamn self because those guys are ass She picks up Sam's phone and calls Duncan, A.J. Bowen. And she's like, Duncan.
Listen, I'm here in Mill Basin and I ordered some pizzas from Sam and she was going to come party, but she wouldn't stop talking about you. I got some great cocaine over here and I heard you got a big dick, so come over here and use it. And here comes fucking Duncan hook line. Oh yeah. He's like, I'm here to party. He comes running right over there. Uh,
Susan's like, yeah. He got there faster than Sam Ditto with the pizza. Oh, fuck yeah. I would too. I've got cocaine. I'm going to get down tonight. Let's go. He gets over there and Susan hits him up with the quote-unquote cocaine, which I believe is just the same powder that they use to stun Sam in the beginning. He snorts like four bumps of it and he's like,
Yeah, I'm ready to party now. Hey, my legs don't work anymore. Yeah. She's laying tarp down on the floor. Yeah, she's like laying the plastic down. Yeah. That's not a good sign. What's that for? You know. Uh, she pulls all of his, I guess his intestines out of his mouth through his mouth and lays them out on the plastic. And then I guess she's like, Reading them somehow. Yeah. She's like, God damn it. Sam's with Judy, my bitch daughter.
So that's fucked up. Now we're going to cut to Judy and Sam. They're back at... at the other house where the sisters were, we get, during the process of quote-unquote sealing Judy's skin, Sam tells a very sad story about how she was in a cancer treatment center. And she had her first boyfriend there. He was...
had cancer also, but she went into remission and she got released from the center and then she wanted to go back and see him, but she never wanted to go back to the cancer treatment center again. So she just kind of ignored him and never went back. And he died. And he died. Australia! He memorized Mad Max and he always talked about how Australia was the best place ever. So now she writes shitty folk songs about Australia, I guess. Very sad and, you know, whatever. Sorry, Sam.
But the good news is that they got Judy's skin sealed. We did get a cool little sequence where like... After they found her, they were putting pins in the voodoo doll and they were coming out of Judy's skin, like out of her face and stuff. That was pretty cool. That was pretty cool. But because they managed to get her skin sealed, they stopped that. So now Judy and Sam are like,
running around the house trying to figure out some shit. They find a gun hidden in an oatmeal box, I guess. Yeah, a little cylinder oatmeal box. Yeah, a little tube of oatmeal. I guess that's where you keep your... Your guns these days. I have a gun safe. And I'd be scared of my kids. It's safer. So, I don't know. We've got a toy. I've got a big boy toy. I'm taking this one to school. Daddy's going to jail for a long time.
Anyway, that's pretty weird. So now they've got a gun, and they're trying to figure out how they're going to do this. We don't really get too deep into their plan because it just involves some wood and nails. and some stuff like that, and we just have to assume that they figured it out. In the meantime, we're going to cut back to Gypsy, the usurper, and this part I didn't fully understand. She comes in, and the rest of the posse too, as Susan is reading...
Duncan's entrails and they stab Susan in the head with like an ice pick like right at the top of the head and Susan for all intents and purposes dies So we thought, because she just keels over, and they're like, ugh, well, shit, she's the only one that knew how to do the full summoning ritual, so...
fuck, we really fucked that up, didn't we? And now everybody's starting to yell at Gypsy because we realize that she didn't really think this through very well. She just is trying to do that. So then she's like, all right, you fucker. But then they find the phone, so they pick it up and they call... I think Judy, right? Yeah. So they're like, or she pulls out her own photo. Judy called Gypsy. That's right. Judy called Gypsy. Yeah. And Judy's like, okay, look.
I got the Virgin, and it feels very much like she's double-crossing Sam right now. It seemed that way. I got the virgin, and I want back into the cover. So you can come over here and get me and I'll hand her to you. And that you got to promise not to kill me, though, because I'm delivering her to you. And Gypsy's like, where are you, you fucker? And Judy's like, look at your caller ID, dipshit. And then she hangs up. And they're like, oh, my God, they're at my house.
So they all go hauling ass over to Gypsy's house thinking they're going to capture the Virgin. Now, I don't know what the hell kind of booby trap this was it's it's very i don't know it didn't really elaborate around the house yeah uh but uh they go up there and they think they got her cornered in like a armoire or something like some kind of closet situation and the guy opens the closet and like something comes out and slices his neck open I didn't really see
The mechanics of that. No, it happened way too fast. Yeah. I guess they figured it out using three boards and a handful of nails and a hammer. Yeah. All right. Whatever. We'll sign off on that. Sure. In the meantime, Judy and Sam go hauling ass out of that house, and they're tearing through the neighborhood.
This part is really weird because out of nowhere, Susan just wakes up still with the ice pick in her head. And she's like, oh, I'm alive. And let me just pull this out. And she's good to go now. And I have an idea of why. Okay. Uh, right after this, she starts eating those hearts. Yeah. I think she's basically dead in a way because she's like, you know, Satan's right hand chick, whatever. And since she's that way, it's like, okay, well.
You know, you're, you're never really going to die. Okay. So she got basically knocked out when that thing went in there. And it's like, whoop, she comes back, takes it out. And now she's got to. you know, eat those hearts or whatever it is just to get back to normal. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So that was the only thing I could think of. I'll buy that. That's better than anything I can come up with. Yeah. I was kind of like, wait, how does that work? And then once I saw her eating the hearts, I'm like,
Maybe it's that. I could be wrong, but that's the only thing that makes sense to me. Yeah, that makes sense, man. I'll sign off on that. Yeah, so just like Buddy said, she pops up. She runs to a pantry where she's got like two quart-sized Ziploc bags.
full of what appear to be hearts, like human hearts or animal hearts or... something she just starts mowing down on these things and out of nowhere she's good to go yeah in the meantime uh gypsy and her clan of fucked hard are running through the her own house getting these booby traps go off and you know slicing throats and stuff they're like oh shit okay we're going to um here's what we're going to do we're going to do a real quick
veil of shadows ritual or something like that and the two girls are running like out through the neighborhood through people's backyards and stuff so they do a veil of shadows they all hold hands and start chanting and then as the girls are running like Vines are tripping them, and they think they see little things in the shadows as they're running. They're getting all freaked out. Judy, who knows about this, she's like, those bitches are doing a veil of shadows on us.
Try not to look at anything. And they keep hauling ass. Okay, well, that's pretty cool. Unfortunately, through the Veil of Shadows, they get captured. And once they wake up, they're both now wearing these super slinky... Yeah. Hotty toddy outfits. And apparently the plan now is we're going to sacrifice both these two to Bafflement. So they got them both strapped down to the table. Sam's wearing like a white nun kind of a... Slinky negligee. And then Judy's wearing like a black and red.
Kind of a biker thing. And very sexy. Oh, yeah. Very... you know, ex-hamster kind of a thing going on. Very Fredericks of Hollywood. Very Victoria's Secret, if you will. Here comes all the chanting and all that shit. And this is when Susan walks out. And she, everybody's like, holy shit, she's still alive. She's like, you're fucking a right. I'm still alive because this bitch here pointing to gypsy can't do anything. Right.
So Gypsy's like, yeah, you can't kill me because I'm the Satan's chosen helper or whatever. So now Gypsy has no choice but to like. bow down to Susan. Oh, yeah. Big time. All right, you win. Yeah, okay. You came back from the dead, so you got me beat there, sweet Pete.
what's her name um sam and judy are like okay be strong this is the you know we can get through the you know judy's like they're gonna kill us they're gonna kill us both and you're gonna have to give burton they explain it and this is where i think
uh the husband's soul kind of comes back because at they start circling and chanting and all that shit there's like this big hairy thing with a bunch of eyes it's kind of like it's got horns and it's kind of like dancing around oh yeah i think that might have been what the The soul evolved into. They never really elaborate on that. That was put in the freezer? No, the one with the butthole that was sucking on the finger. Yeah, that got thrown into the freezer. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know. Just a thought. Where else would that fucking thing come from? Not that I'm reading too much into the story. Sam is like, you know what? Just let Judy go. Just let Judy go. I'll be your sacrifice. And they're like, we don't give a fuck about Judy. And they just slice her throat. and kill judy that was gnarly that was gnarly i wasn't expecting that uh then they do they get into the whole fucking ceremony like the robes start coming off there's a lot of tna here and uh
Maybe keep covered. Yeah, they were showing ones that I didn't want to see, and the ones I wanted to see, they never showed. Saggy boobs is what we're telling you here, inmates. And I thought I saw some hairy armpits. Yeah, I thought so too. From the ladies. I don't care for that, Buddy. I'm going to tell you right now, I don't care for that. It wasn't attractive on Madonna, and it's not attractive on anybody else. Me? I agree with Buddy on this.
It's nasty, but I think what we're trying to get into here is that some kind of an orgy is happening. A lot of naked bodies floating around and touching and grinding and gyrating and all that stuff. In the meantime, the chanting continues. Boom. Sam's now pregnant. Nine months, looks like. Big belly. And she's about to give birth, presumably to Baphomet, but that's when her restraints get loose and she pops up and she's like...
Get the fuck out. She gets a gun. And I think she was pointing it at her own head. Like, I'm going to kill myself. Right? she was holding something next was it a knife or something oh that's right it was that ceremonial dagger yeah right to her belly like i'll cut this yeah i'll stab it yeah um And then out of nowhere, okay, so something we glazed over, and I thought this part was kind of silly.
As Sam is driving at the very beginning of the movie, as Sam is driving through Mill Basin, there's a little girl standing on a front lawn waving at her. And all white. All white. Well, she starts off like, was she not jump roping? Or was she jump roping? I think she was. singing a little chant she had a very Elm Street girl look about her that's what it reminded me of minus the one two yeah but out of nowhere like this whole thing is coming to a head and then boom out of nowhere
Everybody's gone, and Sam is just sitting in one of the deck chairs, and she's like, the hell? And the little girl comes skipping by, and she's like, ha ha, I'm Samael, the ninth... leader of hell these fucking clowns thought they could worship baphomet he's like at the bottom of the the demon rung you got to start at the top you can't start at the bottom so like basically the little girl is More powerful. Yeah, more powerful than bafflement. And she's like, these guys are a bunch of losers.
And then Sam's like, oh, okay, so... Thank you for getting rid of all those guys. Can I just get on my moped and get the fuck out of here? And Samuel is like, no, I'm going to go ahead and kill you too, just because, you know, why not? And she's like, ah, the rule of Sam. You're Sam and I'm Sam and you love rules and there's a rule of Sam's. All Sam's have to help each other. Yeah. Stole that line from that douchebag. From the fuck face with the couch. That's right. And then Samuel is like,
Oh, I kind of like that rule. Okay, you can go. And then she just kind of gets on her moped and takes off. And that's pretty much the end of your movie. It's a pretty good show, I thought. What did you think? Yeah, it wasn't bad. Yeah. I was bummed they didn't show Sam and Judy. Yeah? What did you want, a girl-on-girl situation? Well, no, just show us something from them, you know? Well, we got to watch Judy get killed.
Yeah. That was cool. We did get to see Gypsy get killed too. Oh yeah, that's right. Susan is like, you feel like you're drowning in water or something like that and water just starts spewing out of her face. That was pretty cool. Yeah. like gurgles and collapses. So that's kind of... It's not a bad show. It's more comedy than anything, I would say. Yeah. I don't know if it was intentional comedy, but it...
I mean, the Kildo. You can't take that seriously, right? You never know. I'm going to go on Amazon and see if I can order a Kildo. Yeah, order a Kildo, yeah. There's probably going to be an age gate on that or something. I don't know. I had to rent this one on Amazon, buddy. Where'd you find it? Same thing. Amazon Prime? Very cool. Check it out, inmates. I say it's worth a watch. I got a couple chuckles out of it. Let's take us a little break and we'll do some other stuff. Yeah.
Hey, inmates. If you like what you hear, head over to the Padded Room Facebook group and support us through the patron link with a small monthly donation. Check out the T-Villain link at paddedroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts. Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show. And we are back, buddy. Yes. It's party time. Yeah. Yes, sir.
I like A.J. Bowen in Satanic Panic. Yeah. Because he plays a lot of, like, dead... Like, look at last week's movie, Horrible Way to Die. He was dead serious that way. That was a bummer of a fucking movie. And he comes back with satanic panic and he's like a... Like a snotty barista, pretty much. Yeah, it kind of reminded me of Clerks. A little bit. Yeah, at the beginning. Just with a weird fucking cult situation going on, I guess. I don't know.
Right on, man. Well, I'll tell you what, I think it's time for three on a meat hook. Yes. on a meat hook this week's meat hook top three horror dinner parties buddy what do you got at number three number three the menu okay yeah that's a tasty A tasty dinner party. Yeah. You're going to have a good meal. Yeah, you are. You're going to eat a lot. That's a good show, man. I like that. Ray Fiennes, I think, was in that, right? Rough.
Ralph Fiennes. Yeah. And what's her name? Natalie Portman? Was that her? I just watched that not too long ago. It was actually... I don't think it was Natalie Portman. It was actually the old Shirley MacLaine in it too. Anna Taylor Joy. Anna Taylor Joy. That's who it is. They look very similar, sort of. Not really, now that I think about it. But still, you understand what I'm saying. Yeah, that's a good show.
Very cool. My number three, a little film called Would You Rather. That's not a dinner party I want to go to. That's a really good one, too. Yeah. You don't want to get hit with the... Samoan pain sticks until you die. That's nasty, dude. And it's easy. I mean, if you're dealing with a dinner party in a horror movie... It's going to go south. Either there's going to be a home invasion or some kind of a fucking poison whatever or...
They're going to bring out the main course and it's going to be a guy's brain or something like that. So, I mean, as far as that goes, that's exactly what you'd expect. You know, you play a game of would you rather over dinner before you know it. Somebody's getting strangled. Yeah. Son of a bitch. How about number two? Speaking of home invasions, you're next. Okay.
If I remember right, that was like a Thanksgiving. Yeah. I mean, it's still a dinner party. But yeah, that's a good show. Another A.J. Bowen. Yeah. At his finest right there. My number two is a movie. I don't know if you've seen it. It's called Coherence. I think I have. I just don't remember. So it's a very conceptual movie. The basic idea is that we're having a dinner party. We're all here at my house.
a comet, or if I remember, a meteorite or something flies over, and power goes out in the whole neighborhood. And then all of a sudden we realize that there's another dinner party two doors down and there's an alternate version of us over there. Yes. And then we start sending people back and forth, but we don't know. If you're with me or if you're with them, you know what I'm saying? And the only way they can differentiate is by the color of their glow sticks. It's kind of silly.
But it's a good show, and the best part about it, I found this out later, is that there was no script involved at all. I'll be darned. So the director, like, basically would just hand the actors notes. Hey, you are trying to get her not to leave. And he'd hand her a note. Hey, you're trying to leave. And then he'd just let her.
That's kind of cool. It is actually kind of cool. It is. So that's a pretty sweet, pretty sweet idea. There was supposed to be a sequel at some point, but it just never materialized. I don't know what happened. I wonder if it would be called incoherence? Probably. I like that, that's a good idea All right. How about number one there, buddy? The Invitation. That's my number one, you son of a bitch. That's a goddamn good show right there. Yeah, it is. That's one that you can watch.
Like, the first time you watch it, you're going to think... Oh, this poor guy, he's, you know, he got invited to dinner by his ex. who he had a kid with, and the kid died, which started the divorce process. So that's traumatic.
God damn, is that going to be uncomfortable? And he brings his girlfriend. So God bless her. That's probably the most uncomfortable situation you could ever be in in your entire life. And then he gets all these weird ideas about how they're trying to poison him. And you're like, bro.
You calm your ass down. This is stressful enough, but just, you know, fucking chill out. And then you realize, no, they are trying to poison you and everybody else. Yeah. And what's his name? Jonathan Carol Lynch, I think. uh twisty the clown oh yeah he shows up and he's just the sweetest guy and then he just calmly and very gently tells you a a very you know subtle story about how he beat his wife to death
Yeah. And by the way, you all need to watch our informational video and join our cult or we're going to kill all of you. And not only that, but it's happening all over town. the same night yeah fucking a buddy yeah the ending of that is like whoa god damn son it's not just his house no it's all over that's a good show man I like that. That's one of my favorites. Yes. All right, inmates, we would love to know what your top three horror dinner parties are.
Let us know by next week if you can. Area code 775-387-0275 is the mental health hotline. Or hit us up on the email, mail at paddedroompodcast.com. Tell us what the top party spots are in Warland. Yeah. In the meantime, we're going to take a minute to tell you what movies we got to watch this week in a segment we like to call What Are You Looking At? What are you looking at? So as I mentioned earlier in the show, my wife and I went to Yosemite over the weekend.
And in doing so, we got an Airbnb at a very, very quiet little town called Oakhurst, California. And I don't know why we do this, but we have this tradition that whenever we stay at an Airbnb... We have to watch My 600-Pound Life. Uh-huh. So we watched like five episodes of My 600-Pound Life. Oh, my goodness. Ended up staying up to like two in the morning watching these guys. fucking ginormous people hobbling in and out of bed. Do you know what a lymphederma is?
Something to do with the neck? No, it's disgusting. It's basically when you reach a certain... body mass fat ratio your fat basically starts folding in on itself and creates like its own separate cell culture and it's it's like a It's like a fat, the best way to describe it is a fatty tumor, but you can't just remove, you can't just like, if you start losing weight, that thing will still be there.
Huh. It's so disgusting, dude. Wow. And these big fatties get them all over their legs and their arms and their asses. Oh, God, it's gross. I feel like that is a horror show in a way. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because all it takes is three or four bad decisions. It's disgusting, but it keeps me motivated to run and not... As much Taco Bell. I'm still going to have some. because i love me some taco bell and i feel like taco bell cleans you out after you're done eating
So it's like a fast acting thing. You know what I mean? I had that for lunch today. That a boy. Same thing happened. That a boy, buddy. In and out. That's what I'm talking about. So I watched that, and then just before you showed up here, I finished Bo is Afraid. Have you seen that one? No. Joaquin Phoenix. Okay. Ari Aster, 824. I think Joaquin Phoenix.
may have joined the smaller penis than Darian club. Oh my. Yeah, you get to see it. And he, I don't know, it might be a stunt penis, but it also might have been cold. He does like a whole scene where he runs down the street naked. And it's just flopping and dangling. It's definitely an interesting show, though. I feel like... It's like Dale, you know? The character that he plays is just like Dale. You know, he just goes, oh, okay. It's a very weird movie, too, man. Like, the movie starts...
With him accidentally leaving the door to his apartment open. And like all of the people from the street. go up into his apartment and lock him out. Oh. And they're just having like a party in his apartment, and he just has to sit out on the fire escape and watch. It's a very strange move. Really, there's some very funny things. but it's like three hours long too. Very strange movie. It's streaming on Macs if you're interested.
Okay. That's all I'm looking at this week. What do you got there, fella? I just recently watched The Electric State. It's got Millie Bobby Brown in there. Okay. It's like this robot one. It's like a kid's type sci-fi type movie. Pretty good, actually. wasn't sure if i was going to be into it or not but i was like you know what this actually isn't too bad okay um so i saw that one um to catch a killer that was another one i watched okay um
Pretty good movie. It's got one of the chicks from, like, Divergent. She's in it. I definitely recommend watching this. Great acting through the entire thing. The dad from The Witch is in it. I can't remember his name. Oh, the ugly guy. With a robber. Yeah. Yeah. Super deep voice. Great movie. And I watched the very first episode of the new season of Black Mirror. Okay. Very cool. You know, the whole controversial...
It's not really that controversial. I think the fucking that animal was still probably one of the dirtiest openers. It's like you won't forget that. You got my attention. This one, technology-wise, Maybe. Okay. So what this is, is basically she's going to die. The wife is going to die. She needs.
some type of implant or something um they can't remove whatever so they're gonna go ahead and put it on on like a cloud and that way you know you just pay for it um over a month like a monthly subscription keeping that part of the brain alive and ticking and uh the surgery is free but you know they get you with the monthly price yeah
And then so things start happening where you got to be in certain cellular service. And if you go outside that, boom, you know, she kind of goes to like coma, you know, comatose. And then you're like, oh, well, in order for us to travel, we've got to upgrade. And so that's an extra fee. And then how many different upgrades are there? And all of a sudden, she's spitting out ads. Oh, no. Pop-up.
yeah pop-ups and she has no idea she's doing it like all of a sudden she's talking to somebody or see somebody and an ad pops up with whatever's you know at play like one of the kids always gets teased in school she's a teacher So when the kids get teased in school about her, about her shoes.
later on she has this ad you know pop up or get new sneakers for blah blah blah you know just right to the kid and uh you know she didn't know she did it and then you know kind of goes on yeah and then of course the kids all offended because you know the teacher was always by her side now
you know, here she is promoting shoes that, you know, telling the kid that she needs to get shoes. Yeah. So, um, it's kind of sad. Um, but you know, in that aspect, yeah, it is kind of realistic in a way, you know, uh, But it's pretty good. So we'll see how the rest of the season goes. Okay. Right on. Anything else? Nope. That's it. All right. How about some immersion therapy? Mm-hmm. Immersion therapy.
oh buddy when evil lurks dude that's a motherfucker man wow what a great film oh yeah dude i was actually impressed i'm like i don't know if i'm gonna be into this But I was hooked the whole way through. Yeah. It's pretty gnarly, man. Yeah. Am I correct in assuming that at the end...
The, what was he, autistic? Or the kid that was basically in a vegetative state. He ate the grandma, right? Is that what I'm assuming? That's what I got out of it too. As he's eating ice cream, he coughs up the necklace. Uh-huh. There it is, bro. Oh, fuck. When the dog gets a hold of the little dog. Oh, my gosh. Jesus. I was like, Rubble! Yeah, exactly. He did look a little bit like Rubble. A little bit, yeah. Rubble with Daphne. There they go. He's Louise. He's gone, man. He is gone.
good luck chasing him down fucking dude but uh i think the worst though was the the youngest son when the wife tracks him down and she's just walking around the neighborhood Eating him like a popcorn bucket. Oh God. Yeah. That's a gnarly movie, dude.
Definitely recommend this one for a while. It's a great film. And if you like it, check out the guy's first offering, Terrified. That one's just as dope, I would say. Have you seen Terrified? Yeah. Yeah, that's a great one. I haven't seen the second one, but I've seen the first one. No, not Terrifier. Oh, wait a minute. Not Art the Clown. Terrified, the one with the dead kid.
The lady's getting ping-ponged in the bathroom. Nope, I don't think I've seen this. You're going to want to check that one out. It's made by the same guy. It's pretty fucking good, too. What do you got for us this week, fella? Alright, this week let's check out 1994's Brain Scan. This is about a teenager that's part of an interactive video game where he kills innocent victims.
Then later, the murders become real. Yeah, and you'll find this gem on Tubi. I'll go ahead and give you the disclaimer. You got 1990 internet stuff. which is very silly. You got teased hair stuff, attempted teen sex stuff, Nose ring stuff. And Edward Furlong stuff. there you have it yeah check that shit out inmates we'll do the same and compare notes next week but now it's time for a round of who's your daddy yes Who is Daddy?
First, my clues from last week, buddy. I am the pilot of a vehicle, and my job is to combat giant sea monsters that come out of the ocean. And I went into retirement after my brother died, but my old commanding officer said that he found the exact spot where the sea monsters are coming from. So if I wouldn't mind joining him on one final mission to close the rip. At the bottom of the ocean, then we can be done fighting giant sea monsters from now on.
It's, of course, Pacific Rim. Yeah. That's a... They should put a Kildo on one of those monsters. Some of them look like they had one, man. That's true, yeah. Like, on their heads and shit. Mm-hmm. Uh, is... Very similar. I didn't care for it. It's okay. Yeah. If you really, really want some over-the-top kaiju action, along with battle mechs. Pacific Rim. Pacific Rim is for you. The second one is not even worth your time. Who might I be this week, you ask? Well, I am a...
I guess you could call me a refugee during a civil war. I'm a child, and my mom has recently... become romantically entangled with a military officer. And it sucks because he's a bit of a prick and he's not very nice to me or my brother. But that sucks. But the good news is that he's taking care of us and we're like... in a relatively safe space, but we are seeing some nasty shit that's happening. I happen to unlock a...
secret dimension at the bottom of a well. So I'm going to be spending a lot more time in there with all the weird creatures and the fun shit that goes on down there. I better not eat anything while I'm down there, though. That's going to cause some serious problems.
especially if I get caught. Who might I be? You ask. Tune in next week and I'll drop some knowledge on you inmates. In the meantime, I think that's about going to do it for us. Buddy, you got anything else on the week? No. Join us next weekend, mates, for sun don't shine here in the A.J. Bowen month in the padded room.
In the meantime, for Dusty and Absentia, buddy who is here, Chuck and his acoustic guitar, son of a bitch. Kildo. Kildos. Giant Sea Monsters and the Padded Room Podcast, I'm afraid. Visiting hours are over. Bye and have a great week.