I want to rape your butthole. sexy ladies. My name is Darian. I'm back for another round of horror goodness. I got the whole Compton posse in the house tonight. Buddy is here. What's going on, buddy? What's going on? What's happening? Nothing. Dusty is also here. What's going on, Big Dust? What's happening? What's going on with you guys? Dusty, we missed you last week. Yeah, we did. Had to go to Lost Wages.
I've determined that Las Vegas is not a fun place to go unless you're in your 20s. I could see that. I hate it. Unless you're like some kind of bazillionaire. Oh, yeah. And you just got money to wad up and throw at strippers. That would be fun. Yeah. Very high-end strippers down there, from what I'm told. From what I've come to hear from reliable sources. A friend told me. Yeah, I heard it from a guy that I know.
Did those things. Buddy, when's the last time you've been to Vegas? Oh, shoot, ten years ago? Yeah? Maybe longer? Yeah, that's about where I'm at. Yeah. My wife was pregnant with my son at the time. I ran a Spartan race down there. separated a fucking bicep, flipping a tire. Damn. Yeah. Stupid. What month was that? I want to say April. Okay, so it wasn't like Gates of Hell yet. No, no. I mean, it was still plenty fucking hot. I can tell you that. Speaking of Gates of Hell. I think it was April.
That's when I was there. Gates of Hell? Yeah. In Vegas. It was around August. Oh, yeah. Oh, my gosh. Brianna was a National American Miss, so she was like a cute little cheerleader type thing and model, whatever. I had to wear like a full-blown tuxedo because it was daddy-daughter on stage deal. And you just walk right out of the hotel and it's like instant sweat. It's like getting in the face with a hair dryer. So much fun. Why would you not want to go there?
It was horrible. Yeah, dude. I don't get it. I don't get it. I mean, I understand it. It's a dry heat. As if that makes it any easier. Yeah. The dry heat makes me have wet heat on my armpits. It's like a swamp. It's so disgusting. Well, it's good to have you back, amigo. And buddy, always good. It's good that all three of us are here at the same time. This never happens. Very rarely. Yeah. It's awesome. I love it. Like herding cats around here. Well, I guess we got a regular...
Horror show to get into here gentlemen We got horror news and listener mail All kinds of fun stuff I say we kick it off with a little horror news Amigos Horror news. Gentlemen, what do you got for us? Go ahead, buddy. All right, so Netflix.
is bringing Stephen King's Cujo back to life with a new movie. You should have gone first. I knew one of you first was going to say that one. Yeah, Stephen King's Killer K9 is coming back to life with... uh at netflix and it's gonna be pretty cool project will be uh will go out to writers immediately deadline notes in today's report uh there's no other information information but it was announced 10 years ago yeah yeah and uh
You know how that went. But Stephen King recently returned to the world of Cujo for a short story sequel titled Rattlesnakes. The long-awaited follow-up debuted in last year's King anthology. You like it darker. I actually read that. It was actually pretty good. Yeah? Oh, okay. How... Well, I mean, I guess it couldn't be like a direct sequel to Kujo. It's not. It's just the same characters. It's basically...
The mom, I don't remember what her name is, the wife that was having an affair. A affair with the tennis coach. So it goes on to say that her and her husband reconciled after... Well, because in the book, the kid dies. Yeah, yeah. So they basically reconcile. after the death of the son and they get back together and then she has since passed from a cancer battle so he talks about that and then he moves to the Florida Keys and basically
All this kind of supernatural shit kind of goes down on this Duma Key. It's another common place where Stephen King has written some of his works. It was about Duma Key. Okay, cool. Yeah, so it was actually a... Pretty cool short story. Nice. So it's basically a follow-up just with the character. So it has nothing to do with the dog? No, nothing to do with the dog. But he does reference that and that kind of stuff, too. Okay. Cool. Yeah, it's good. Nice. I dug it.
My wife likes to play with other men's balls. I don't know what that has to do with horror news, but thank you for sharing, buddy. Sorry to hear that. Tokyo Ghoul heads to Dead by Daylight April 2nd. You fucking fuck ass fucker. You guys should go first. Never again, buddy. Nope. You're banned from horror news. I am not going to be a gentleman anymore. That's right. Behavior Interactive.
their toes into anime world again for Dead by Daylight, announcing that the hit anime series Tokyo Ghoul will be bringing the Ken Kenneke character to the game as the newest killer on April 2nd. as with previous killers and survivors. You guys know anything about Tokyo Ghoul?
I do not. Me neither. No. Sounds interesting. No, but I can't wait to see what you think of it. Sure. Because I know you're going to get it. Of course I am. But in case you missed it, Hellraiser fans will only be able to grab Pinhead from in-game store until April 4th. So if you haven't got it, I don't know. Oh, I already got it. Okay. You know I got it. All right. I got it all, baby.
And they do that a lot. They'll peel characters back and then they'll bring them back like a year or two later. Oh, just to see if they can get some more money. Yeah, they did that with the Demogorgon and Nancy Wheeler and Steve Harrington. And they stopped on the Hawkins Lab map. And then around about the time Season 3 came out, they put it all back out there at a discounted price. So I'm sure they got some fucking tricks up their sleeves. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Now.
Final Destination Bloodlines, rated R. That's coming out. In fact, it's rated R for strong, violent, grisly accidents and language. We wouldn't have it any other way, right? Right. And expect the film's full official trailer coming out. coming very soon. The newest chapter in the new Lions Cinema's bloody successful franchise takes audiences back to the very beginning of the death-twisted sense of justice in theaters May 16th this year.
and this will be the first franchise first movie this will be the franchise first movie in 14 years that was the last time yeah that's crazy they waited that long um but also tony todd you know who is in final destination just final destination 2 and final destination 5 He's gonna be back in this one as well. He's dead.
I don't know how they're going to bring it back. Okay. Must have filmed it a while ago. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Maybe it's just clips of them, or maybe they'll just replay the old ones. Yeah, they can do a lot of good things with AI nowadays. Maybe they brand and lead them. Yeah, AI-ed them. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Good to happen. Saturday Night Live, Kenan Thompson. You like this guy? I do. He's hilarious. He's about to produce a horror comedy called Halloween Store. It's going to be pretty interesting.
The campy horror comedy follows a group of people who find themselves trapped inside a costume store on Halloween night with a mysterious killer on the loose. Okay. That's what this is about. Sounds good. Yeah. Isn't that the...
Spirit Halloween movie? Probably. Yeah, but that was like for kids. And I don't think anybody got killed. I never actually saw that one. Me neither. All right. Yeah, that's all I got. How about you, Dusty? Oh, God. Well, I have nothing because you bogarted all my shit. Thank you very much. All right, that was your Halloween news. I got one. The Last of Us, Season 2, is going to introduce new smarter infected type, according to the showrunner.
Greg Manzen. He says, he warned viewers to buckle up as season two is set to introduce stalkers and more advanced members of the infected. All I'll say is that for the people who want to see more of the infected, buckle up. Then Manzan chimed in and said, You get to see different evolution of this infection. It's kept certain parts of their brain alive so they are smarter. They coordinate and hide and do things that we've never seen any other infected do until now. The last of a season.
Season 2 is scheduled to drop April 13th. Start April 13th. Okay. And that's all I got. I've got to get caught up on that one. It's good. I heard it's really good. It's very true to the source material. It's a video game? Yeah. Very cool. That's good. And so do these. The stalkers are in the video game, too. So they've got a bunch of different types of infected in the video games. How many Last of Us video games are there?
There's two, I believe, but they've been talking about a third for a long time. Okay. Right on. I don't know. I've only played the first one. Okay. Trailers are out for Bambi the Reckoning. Oh my goodness. They're finally out. This is happening. I hope you guys are caught up on your pooniverse. Right. I know I am. Yeah, I am. I've done my poo homework. Yeah. So.
I watched the trailer. It doesn't show anything, really. It's just hooves and red eyes. Oh, they got a new trailer out. Yeah. Yeah, it shows the whole deer, little kitten caboodle. Oh, I didn't see the new one. It's a Red Band trailer, too. A Red Band trailer? Yeah. Okay. Nice. You saw it? I saw it, yeah. What did it look like? Fucking giant deer. Giant deer? Giant. Okay. Bigger than a car. Okay. So I don't know. I think parts of the trailer he...
I'd have to watch it again, but it seemed like some parts he was smaller and then he would grow. I don't know if it's still a full-grown buck with antlers and stuff, but he would... He, I think, got bigger as the trailer went, so I'm assuming he's some kind of a mutated deer and he keeps growing and, like I said, chucking cars around with antlers and stuff. Oh, dear. I didn't see that one. Oh, dear. Get the fuck out of here.
All right. He's got big zombie teeth or sharp teeth, too. Okay. He's not an herbivore. Looks like he's eating some meat. Maybe that's what's making him grow so big. Okay, well, there you have it. Nice. I'll check it out. Yeah, I have to now. I watched the first two Pooh movies. Yeah. So I'm all in on the Pooh-iverse, apparently. I tried. I keep falling asleep. You'll get there. I'll say the second one is much better than the first one. Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, it's whatever.
You guys have seen Cloverfield, right? Oh, yeah. But back on Varys, Cloverfield's sequel is moving forward. Now, this is going to be a direct sequel. To the first Cloverfield, the found footage one. This one is also going to be found footage. Which one was the one with, what's his name? John Goodman. Yeah, John Goodman. That was Cloverfield Lane. That was the second one. So this is going to be in between those two?
Yeah, this one is supposed to pick up right after the first one. Didn't the 10 Cloverfield Lane happen concurrently with the original? Yes. Oh, okay. I guess the one in outer space was supposed to be happening at the same time. Yes. So all three of them were. Same time frame. So that's exciting. I'm into it. I like that. Here's something I don't know if I should be excited about or not. Doug Bradley. Pinhead. You know him. You love him. Michael Berryman. Does that name ring any bells?
Nope. His face would, if I showed you his face. He is Jupiter from The Hills Have Eyes. Oh, yeah. Oh, okay. The guy with the, like, 38 birth defects. Yeah, yeah. And big cone head and gnarly looking dude. Yep. Those two guys are... watching a podcast called, and I quote, the temple of the killer tiger monkeys. Right. All right. Okay. I believe it's going to be a religious podcast. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know what this is. What is happening here? I don't know.
Interesting. I'm going to check it out anyway. I'm going to see if I can find it tomorrow. I'll hear what they have to say. Yeah. I tried listening to the David Keith, Keith David podcasts. They're fine. It's fine. A lot of political stuff. I think they're trying to get, like, they don't have any, they just said, hey, let's do a podcast. Okay, we're recording. And then they both just kind of sat there and looked at each other for a minute. I'm Keith David. He's David Keith.
Isn't that neat? That's your podcast. That's where we're at. I'll still be David Keith. They'll just say the names the other way. Hey, look at that. How did you get to be David Keith again? Right. All right. That's all we got on the horror news, you fuckers. How about some listener mail? Yes. Sounds good. Listener mail. Yes, sir. We got emails and voicemails and all that fun stuff.
Let's start things off with an email. This one actually came in just at the tail end of last week's show. It's all the way from Sydney, Australia, and this may have been the swing vote. That would have tipped the scales in the Terra Dome. I don't know. I haven't read it yet. Subject line, The Last Showdown. It's from Tim. Hey, Tim. He's voting for Dracula, I guarantee it. You think so? Guaranteed. Let's see. Hey, guys. Okay.
It's got to be rescinded. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Recount the boat. Whoa, whoa, whoa. There's a deadline. Okay. Hey, guys. How are you beautiful people this week? Sorry for my lack of emails over the past few weeks, but life has been kicking our asses over here. But I needed to... come back for the grand finale of the Terror Dome so Dracula vs. Maniac Cop so all year I've been voting with my brain over my heart and with that said Dracula wins but
This round, I'm not voting with my brain. I'm voting with my heart. Maniac Cop, your time is now. Put me down for Mr. Cordell. You disappoint me, Tim. That's it for me, guys. Much love, Tim. Well, there you have it. That was the winner. I guess no recount necessary. Not this time, buddy. Sorry. I do have a question for Tim. Okay. We have just gone into daylight savings time here in America. Correct. There's only two states in the union that do not...
Practice daylight savings time. Arizona and what's the other one? Hawaii. Hawaii. That's right. And there's a bill in the legislature here to not have us do daylight savings time. Right. I'm all for it. This fucking week. This bullshit, daylight savings time, it sucks, right? You've got to get up an hour earlier. It's nice. It's more sunlight at night. But if you just wait and be fucking patient, the natural seasons will take care of that for you.
You know what I'm saying? So it used to be for farmers and that kind of shit. Now it's just annoying as all get out. So my question is for Tim. Do you guys over there in Australia practice this fucking horse shit of daylight savings time? Just a curiosity. I don't think they do. I could be wrong. I think we're the only country that does it. Probably. But I could be wrong about that. Tim, let us know.
We need answers about Australian savings time. I think it's just daylight all the time over there anyway. I don't think they have nighttime. They are in the southern hemisphere. That's what I'm saying. And it's fucking warm all the time. I love it. I've been to Australia once, gentlemen. Yeah, you were down under? Oh, yeah. I was actually down under. All right, we got some voicemails here, you fuckers.
Let's start things off with our main man in Alabama. Alan's in the house. Hey, Alan. How's it going? Congratulations to Maniac Cop. Good to hear Buddy back. And Mr. Berrien, you're next. I am. All I got, I'll talk to y'all later. Nailed it. Thanks, Alan. Nailed it, Alan. Thanks, Alan. Thanks for calling in, man. Yeah, man. Down to Southern California, here comes Tom Hardy.
What's going on, Tom Hardy? Hey, yo. How's my favorite degenerate this week? We're still here. Hope everyone is doing well. Hey, I had to get in real quick. I want to get in on that educating department. You got me. Come on now. I'm back. Let's go. You've got to be your next. Yes, sir. Great flip, man. Got nothing else except for the what are you looking at department. I got to catch a couple of things. Got to catch this flick.
I think it was, I can't remember, it was Prime or whatever, called Butterfly Kisses. It's like a... Sounds like a lesbian thing. I can't remember the shot on video. What is it called? Not that. Found footage? Found footage. There you go. Found footage, man.
I actually liked it, man. I thought it was pretty fucking good. I realized I haven't got a fucking soft spot for found footage, man. Okay. I'm flipping around. I've found something that's found footage or a slasher. I'm probably going to turn it on. Sure.
think uh i think part of the found footage thing is you know normally it's coming in uh right at 90 minutes or just under and that's always a plus for me uh yeah so i'd recommend it don't want to say anything about it because it's uh fairly new but uh I'm curious. I'm curious if any other inmates have seen it. Give me your thoughts on it. You already? I fucking went down the rabbit hole of substance. Why would you do that? Don't do that. You don't need anything. I remember liking the first one.
First one had a lot of boogies. I don't know. This run through, it was fine. It is what it is. Brad, he was running around. I did notice something. I wanted to get your fucking thoughts on this. If you remember the first subspecies flick, Radu, the bad guy there. Yep. He's got those super long fucking fingers. And it's pretty clear the whole point was because he had those, he could cut those off, and those became the little species critters that are running around.
And they play a big part in the first one. They're kind of in the second one, but just very small, very, very little parts. And then the third and the fourth, they're not really there except for just, like, at the very end, you know, just they're like, oh, hey, remember these critters? And I was thinking about it, and I was like, you know, I wonder if they feel like they kind of painted themselves in a corner.
by giving this guy these fucking extremely long fingers for, like, this trick they used one time in the first flip. I could see that, yeah. Ever since then, though, well, we still got to give them these fucking giant ass fingers, even though they get in the fucking way, they look like shit, and it doesn't make much, I don't know, man.
just something i was fucking thinking about as i was watching that shit gp gp uh you guys have seen the subspecies oh yeah yeah yeah so i was watching they did the subspecies movies on the uh In Search of Darkness, 1994, and they were talking about the little fuckers, you know, and how the original director was just so fucking against it.
Didn't want to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And then they just, somebody had to shoehorn it in and they just fucking did it. Right. And I don't know if you knew this or you probably don't do because being the horror, you know, ultra nerd that you are, but they. The director, they basically bought a castle in Romania to film that. Charles Band, yeah. Yeah, and then they started...
I guess it was super cheap to film over in Romania, so they made a bunch of other movies in the same castle. Castle Freak was filmed there. They were all full moon movies. But yeah, they did like eight or nine of them there. And they said it was just a fucking party house. Oh, yeah.
There's people partying upstairs and orgies going on over here and they're shooting a movie in the basement. Absolutely. That dude is living his best life. Right? Fucking castle in Romania. Those movies are fucking silly. yes i'm sorry and i get what you're saying with the big stupid fingers but really like as far as radu the vampire prince goes did nobody see
Except for me, the resemblance of the bloodstone to a butt plug. It looks just like a fucking butt plug, man. Yes, it does. And he's walking around taking hits off that thing, and I'm just thinking... You're putting a butt plug in your mouth, sir. It smells so good. This will give you eternal life. And pink eye. So gross. Alright, he called back. G motherfucking P, baby. G motherfucking P.
Hell yeah. Hey man, I was getting so close. Oh, you're good. They cut me off last time. They ain't cutting me off a second fucking week in a row. All I was going to say is fucking congratulations to the Maniac. Yes, sir. First-time Terror Dome champion, man. It's fucking great news. That's all I got. Hope all is well. Love you, Mike family.
Love you too, Tom Hardy. Have a good one. You did it, man. You got it in. Hell yeah. And you nailed the, who's your daddy? I keep wanting to call it the education, but everybody keeps calling it that. I know. It hasn't caught on yet. No, it hasn't. It's going to take another 10 years to catch on. Then you'll change the name of it again. I keep calling it educationals. All right, whatever, dude. You guys ready to get into a movie? Let's do it. Let's do it.
Land of the Voodoo. Comes the most infamous cult of all. Bela Lugosi as Murder Legendre. I see death. Master of the undead damned. The sinister power behind the white zombie. Zombies? Yes, they are my servants. This soul killer takes men from their graves. to be his slaves, his instruments of terror, and now this fiend plots to possess a woman. Only a pinpoint, Mr. Beaumont. In a glass of wine. Or perhaps a flower. Keep it, Monsieur.
Keep it. You may change your mind. Not dead? Are you mad? I saw her die. The doctor signed the certificate. I saw them bury her. Captive in the borderland between life and death. Her brain drained of the life spark. The white... Zombie obeys the unholy commands of her demon master. As mindless creatures carry out his cursed will, terror explodes in horror and heartquake. Zombie! so evil never powers so potent never magic so black Bela Dracula Lugosi as the master of the White Zombie.
That's right, gentlemen. It's White Zombie from 1932. This one got 6.2 stars on IMDb. Directed by Victor Halperin. Written by Garrett Weston. Starring Bela Lugosi, Madge Bellamy, and Joseph Cawthorn. Woo! This one is only an hour long. Yeah. I like that, man. I like a nice short little zinger in there. You know what I'm saying? Easy to squeeze right in it. And knock it right out of the park. A lot of weird stuff happening here, though, dudes. We start off.
with a young couple on their way to getting married. Now, I don't know if I understand this correctly or not, fellas. So apparently they were on their way somewhere and they met this rich landowner who lives in Haiti. Yeah, they said they met him on the boat. On a boat. Yeah, and he offers to have them come to his plantation in Haiti to get married.
there, and then he will then pay to get them to the United States. Am I getting this correct? He said he was going to hire the dude to be one of his representatives. I don't know what he has business-wise, but he said he was going to be his representative in New York City or something like that.
But it was all a ruse to get them to the plantation. Get them to the plantation. So they can steal the woman away. Exactly right. But still, I mean, you're taking a huge leap of faith. Oh, yeah. You want me to go to your plantation in Haiti. With my young fiancé here to get married. I mean, I love it. You're a sweetheart. Or I'm about to be human trafficked. Yeah. So either way, I think I'm going to...
Well, I'm not going to be human trafficked. I'm going to be dead in a ditch somewhere. My wife will be human trafficked. I like to think that I might be human trafficked. Somebody might want to pay for some of the D-man. Get a little bit on the D-side. That scrawny guy, he ain't making us any money there, Vladimir. We're going to have to do something. I've got to be worth $10. Hey! Hey! I can do some sexy dances. I'm ready, willing, and able over here.
Party boy. Get over here, fellas. Guy keeps telling me my car sucks. Stupid. Anyway, they agree to this nonsense and end up back at his plantation. We meet this dude. His name is Beaumont. He's very well to do. He wears a lot of tuxedos. And he lives in a big, spacious plantation there in Haiti. Okay, so I guess what we're saying is...
They get there to Haiti. They get in the carriage to Beaumont's place. The guy is driving the carriage as they're going through the hills trying to get to Beaumont's. We come across some quote-unquote zombies. Now these... Okay, so you've got to understand. First off... This is the first time a zombie was ever seen on film. So that's kind of cool. But up until George Romero's Night of the Living Dead, zombie was never synonymous with any kind of cannibalistic...
Flesh eating, brain eating, none of that. Zombies were basically automatons that were either forced labor or like hired soldiers that couldn't be killed, something like that. So the zombies that we're talking about here are just kind of like...
standing around out in the hills. They're like, what are those guys doing? Those are zombies. We've got to get the fuck out of here. Yeah, the coach driver was very insistent. Yeah, but he wasn't afraid of being eaten by the zombies. He didn't want to get turned into a zombie. Right, yeah.
Because remember they came across the funeral procession. Which was awesome, by the way. And they were burying the person in the middle of the road. In the middle of the road, yeah. So they didn't get disturbed or turned into a zombie, right? Yeah, I've got to get that soundtrack for that funeral. That hits hard. Yeah, buddy. Blast that at the gym. People think I'm crazy. Or a racist. I don't know.
Anyway, so that's kind of cool. You get to Beaumont's place. Beaumont's like, oh, you guys made it. Awesome. So I guess you want to get married right now, huh? And they're like, yeah, you said we'd get married once we got here. And he's like, oh. Okay, well, how about you just go rest for a second, and then we'll get the fucking show on the road here. I got to get the priest and all that. There was a doctor. There was, I guess, a doctor. Later on, he calls himself a preacher. I don't know.
know what this guy's deal is um there was a doctor in the coach with him also headed to beaumont's place uh his name was dr werner and he is some kind of a know-it-all I guess. Yeah, I think he was a scholarly doctor, not like a Dr. M.D. type. I think he was... Like a theologian? Yeah, studying shit. I don't know how to... Okay, I'll buy that. He's gonna... Like a professor and not a doctor.
Sawbones. So like if you have a heart attack on a plane and they say, is there a doctor in the house? He's not going to raise his hand. There's nothing he can do for you. Nope, not me. He's more of a Jill Biden kind of a doctor. Okay, good to know. in turn has her own zombie oh wait hey hey there good job uh so that's cool um
They're like, okay, well, yeah, we are kind of tired from the weird carriage ride. Let's just all take a little snooze here, and then as soon as we get up, we'll get married. It's going to be awesome. In the meantime, Beaumont sneaks off in the middle of the night. How about the lurky? Butler. I didn't... So, was he... He wasn't a zombie, too, was he? No, he was just his butler, but he was very fucking snoopy. He was... I don't know, man. I mean, he didn't do anything nefarious.
I guess you just get bored out there. You don't see a lot of people. A young lady comes to the plantation. I'm going to see a booby if I play my cards right. So you've got to be creepy with it. Because I think it's just him and Beaumont the rest of the time. Already seen his boobies. I don't particularly care to see him again. So off Beaumont goes out into the Haitian wilderness in the middle of the night. He goes off and meets with Bela Lugosi, who is playing.
a guy by the name of Murder Legendre. Oddly enough, we'll never hear his name in the entire movie. And even in the credits, he's just Bela Lugosi. But if you look at IMDb, his character name was supposed to be... Murder Legendre. Interesting. I'm not interested in hanging out with a guy named Murder. No, it's probably not. It's probably bad business. Red flag number one. I don't think it's his real name.
I hope not. Anyway, maybe it's his rap name or something. What's your name, Murder? Cute. All right, nice meeting you. I'll be heading on down the road there. So Murder Legendre, he is the local witch doctor, and we find out that he controls... all the zombies.
that were hanging around out in the hills. And he also has some kind of a sugar mill or something like that. Yeah, I was trying to figure out what that was. It's a very Conan the Barbarian-esque situation. Yeah, Temple of the Doom kind of thing. Yeah, the crumb. thing where you just walk in a big circle and push the thing for 25 years. They come and dump... It looked like maybe sugar cane. I think you might be right. I was trying to grind the sugar cane up or something. He's got like...
40 guys in there. They're all zombies, so he doesn't have to pay them or feed them or do anything. I imagine the place smells pretty bad, but they're doing something. Here comes Beaumont, and he's like, hey, bro, dude, I need your help big time. I got this chick at the plantation. She's going to get married. I need her to not get married. And Bella's like, well, what the hell do you want me to do about it? She's like, I need her to disappear for one month. Bella's like, what?
You think after a month she's just going to completely forget her fiancé? And he's like, yeah, pretty much. That doesn't make any sense. And he's like, well, you're a witch doctor, man. You can figure this shit out somehow. And they go back and forth, and then eventually Bella's like,
Okay, but you have to do something for me. And he whispers something in Beaumont's ear. And Beaumont's like, oh, no, not that. He's like, you want this to happen or not? And he's like, yeah, okay, I'll do it. All right, I'll do it. So Bella gives him some, I guess it was like a powder. It looked like a little vial. Yeah.
And he's like, just a little pin drop, maybe in a flower, and you give her that to smell. Or a glass of wine. Glass of wine, something. And we'll take it from there. And he's like, oh, shit. Okay, all right. Off he goes. Next morning rolls around.
It's time for the big ceremony. The doctor's there to pronounce them man and wife. Beaumont is walking Madeline down the stairs. Neil, the husband, is there. He's all excited to get married. As Beaumont's walking her down the stairs, he's like, hey, babe. How about you blow this dude off and me and you hook up? And she's like, what? And he's like, yeah, come on, look at this place. I got all this fun stuff here. I got the place in Haiti and...
You know, we don't even have to stay here. We could be on a boat. Go wherever you want. Just don't marry this dude and roll with me right now. She's like, bro, no, I'm not doing that. You're out of your mind. I love this house and thank you for all this shit, but no. He's like, ah. God damn it. All right. Well, here, let me get you a last minute present real quick. Dips into a side room, pulls out a rose, hits it with the little vial of whatever and puts it in her bouquet.
He's like, here, smell this rose real quick. And she's like, oh, yeah, very cool. Need it for the bouquet. Sticks it in there. Five minutes later, she just keels over dead. No, no, no. Remember, so she... Bella was out in the courtyard. Oh, well, yeah. And then he took a candle out, started carving a voodoo doll that looked like her, and she didn't die until he stuck it in the other can to start melting it.
So basically, he did a voodoo doll of her out of wax. Okay. And that's when she dropped dead, is when he put it in the other candle to burn it, right? All right. So that's like his... his shtick or whatever he does right they have to take the drop of the poison or whatever it is and then Then he has to take and create the voodoo doll and kill it. Burn it or whatever. Once that shit is in your system, you still have to die. Yes. And then...
And then you come back, I guess. As his slave. He's got to do a lot of this shit. Yeah, that hand clasping thing. What the hell is that? That's where the Kung Fu movies stole that idea from. Okay. All right. I don't know. I'm over here. Easy, easy. So she's dead. Neil is completely lost. He's like, oh, fuck, what happened?
We're going to cut to, I guess, her funeral. They bury her in a very cool crypt that's cut into the side of a hill. I thought that was kind of cool. It's got storm doors on it, which is pretty sweet. Then we cut to a couple...
maybe a week later, Neil is just getting hammered in some shady nightclub. But every time he gets hammered, he sees like visions of Madeline and she's like, Neil, I'm not dead. Come check me out. Neil. And so because he's hammered and... lonely and heartbroken he just goes flying out into the wilds of haiti headed back to the cemetery in the meantime beaumont and bella and like a fucking posse of
Bella's automaton zombies, are about to pull Madeline. I think they were about to wake her up right there in the crypt. They get in there. They open up the coffin. There's Madeline. She looks great. They hear Neil's crazy ass running up the hill. Madeline! What are you doing?
They're like, oh shit, well we can't do this here. So they pack her up and they get her back to Beaumont's place where they then wake her up. Beaumont is all excited. He's like, oh Madeline, I love you so much. Oh, you look great.
Sorry about killing you and stuff. She is basically a vegetable. Yeah. But she can still play the piano. Yeah. And I'm pretty sure she's like... basically a fucked all for that's what i was thinking yeah i mean oh yeah we don't have to go there but it's pretty much insinuated that i don't know is that considered rape because she's not really she doesn't have a heartbeat
I mean, she didn't say no, so it's not... I think it would be considered necrophilia. Well, probably, but she's up and walking around and playing the piano, so there's... I don't know. That's a whole legal gray area right there. I'll get... It's the legal black and white area. All right. All right. You son of a bitch. See what I did there? Yeah. I'm turning your microphone off. See what I did there?
All right, well, in the meantime, Neil stumbles down the stairs to the crypt, finds that Madeline's tomb is empty, and a lot of screaming in this movie. Oh, yeah. From, like, offstage or something. Ah!
Oh, shit. Okay. Well, now he's all fired up. We're going to cut a little bit, a couple days into the future here. What's his name? Beaumont is basically just kind of following... zombie madeline around and telling her how much he loves her and oh she's so beautiful and she just continues staring at the ceiling and walking around now um bella shows up periodically
And he's got control of her, right? Yeah. He can make her do whatever he wants, like play the piano. So he'll make her go sit at the table, get up, look out the window, stuff like that. So she's not, like, comatose or anything. But at the same time, she doesn't talk. She doesn't eat. She just kind of has this blank stare and kind of just, you know, it's kind of like my wife does, really.
Especially on Sunday mornings when I'm trying to get a little frisky. Just hurry up. Babe, get back here. No. You've got to try one of these numbers. I'll give it a shot. I'll play. Put a clasp on it. Come on, man. The rear naked choke. That'll get it. That's right. This isn't working.
All right, well, that's interesting. That sucks for him because he now kind of feels like he's gotten the shit into this deal. She is Madeline, but she's not the Madeline that he fell in love with. In the meantime, Neil is like, oh, dude.
Something strange is afoot. Every time I get hammered, I see ghost Madeline, and she's telling me to come find her. So he goes and talks to Dr. Warner, who I guess is also some kind of a... expert on the local folklore so he's like dude uh went to madeline's grave it's fucking empty bro i don't know what the fuck but i think she's still alive and bruner's like huh you think so huh that's nutty
Well, you know what's weird? We do have this zombie problem around here. People get killed, and then somebody goes and digs them up, and before you know it, you spot them. Running around out in the hills picking sugar cane and working in a shitty job at a mill for $4.50 an hour. Union wages, maybe, from what I understand. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, you might be on to something there, Dudamus. Let's...
Let's look into that. So they do a lot of like horseback riding and talking to the locals and trying to figure out what's going on. At one point, they actually do confront Murder Legendre, but he's got his whole crew of zombies with him. And he's like, these are my zombies to control. See this big scary guy? He used to be the...
Secretary of Finance or something like that. He was saying basically there were all these guys that he hated. Yeah, that tried to fuck with him. That wronged him. Yeah. And this guy over here, he was going to be my executioner. Do you think there's a name? for Bela Lugosi's facial hairstyle in this movie. The split mustache? The split mustache with the bottom chops. What is that called? I have no idea. It's not attractive.
I'll tell you that. It looks like you've got something on your face and you've just got to wipe it off. It's like the reverse Hitler mustache. Yeah. You don't have a thing in the middle. You've just got them on the sides. On the sides. And on the bottom. And then two on the bottom. I don't know. Not a good look, if I say so myself.
So anyway, that's fun. He's like, whoa, dude, we're not messing with you because clearly you're too powerful and we don't want to end up zombies. So they go back and they start talking to another witch doctor guy. And basically he's like, well... the the zombie spell can be broken but it only it like takes like true love can break the spell or some shit like that so okay
In the meantime, Neil is getting sick, I think, or something, or exhausted. I think he's just hammered all the time. Or just hammered. Yeah, he's acting like a real fuckwad. Off they go. From there, they're just kind of going through the hills trying to find Murder Legendre. Meantime, I guess... Beaumont's place is actually not a plantation. It's like this huge cliffside castle thing, which is actually pretty kick-ass.
If I was Madeline and I was offered to marry the guy that lived in the huge seaside castle in Haiti as opposed to Neil, the unemployed alcoholic, The Haiti castle. Yeah, I think I'm going to take the Haiti castle. Bye-bye there, Neil. Anyway, Murder Legendre, Bela Lugosi, goes to see... uh what's his name beaumont and he's like well beaumont my plan has come to fruition i have plans of my own for madeline and beaumont's like you know what dude
I think we should just kill her again because this is not life and I can't be in love with her. She just doesn't do anything at all for me anymore. Let's go ahead and put her back in the ground. And Murder's like, yeah, sure. Let's drink to it. And he was not at all. subtle with putting the thing in Beaumont's drink. Fucking Helen Keller would know not to drink that, right? Gives him the drink and then...
Beaumont's like, okay, great. Yeah, thanks for the drink there. Let's go ahead and put her back on the ground now. And he's like, only a pinprick or a little dash in your wine. But apparently whatever he gave... Beaumont works a lot slower. Beaumont never actually died until the very end. He started carving the wax figure out of him. Remember the voodoo doll? He started to, but he never finished it.
I guess if you take the vile potion, but you don't die, you just kind of slowly slip into zombiness. Yeah, he was kind of deteriorating. So he gets kind of... Losing at speech. Yeah. Can't talk anymore. Kind of slumping around. He's like weakly pawing at murder periodically. Murder's like, oh, I have plans for Madeline of my own. In the meantime,
Neil and the doctor have like made a base camp at the bottom of the cliff. And Neil is like completely out of it. I guess he's just fucking balls out hammered. The doctor's like, oh, you worthless shit. This is your fiance. Why are you getting drunk all the fucking time? I tell you what, you just stay here. I'll go see what I can do up there. So the doctor goes walking off towards the castle. In the meantime, Phantom Madeline...
comes and pays a visit to Neil in his drunken stupor. Neil, help me. I'm up here at the castle, right back here. So off Neil goes, staggering his fucking drunk ass up the hill. gets up there uh gets into the castle um finds actual zombie madeline and he's like madeline you're alive oh and he's like
Come sit down with me. I thought you were dead. Everybody thought you were dead. Of course, she's just still blankly staring at the ceiling. Here comes Murder Legendre with his posse of undead automatons. Big... The action sequences of the 1930s left a lot to be desired. They did not put a lot of effort into fist fights or gunplay.
Watching it now, it's kind of comical. The shooting, the marksmanship in these movies. They always shoot from the hip. Bang! Bang! Bang! Who the fuck are you going to hit? Well, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. It's a little bit before our time. We'll just leave it at that. Anyway, Neil somehow has a gun and just starts unloading on the zombies. They don't give a shit because they're already dead.
Neil goes down. Somehow, Madeline is on the point of, under Murder Legendre's control, Madeline is on the point of actually killing Neil. She's got a knife and she's like, ugh. But then at the last second, she has this weird crisis of, oh, I'm not going to kill him. I love him. And then a weird hand comes out from behind the pillar and takes the knife away from her. We'll find out more about that in a second. Very weird.
But, okay, cool. So she's not going to kill Neil. And then, like, back and forth with murder. He's like, really? Putting the fucking... clasp on like you're under my control and she's like oh I don't know I want to make out with this guy eventually like, murder gets knocked out, but as his zombies were coming towards Neil, and Neil goes down, and the zombies just, I guess they were on...
Autopilot or something. And because murder got knocked out, he couldn't stop them. So they all just walked right off a cliff. Yeah, because they were chasing Neil towards that opening in the wall. Yeah. And he was trying to fight them off. That's when he was shooting them. Yeah. And then...
I thought the doctor smacked Murder on the head. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So then they were, like you said, on autopilot. They just started diving off the cliff. Right off the cliff. Lemmings off the cliff. Unfortunately. About that time, Murder wakes up and he's like, oh. Fucking assholes. You ruined everything. And I could have gotten away with it if it wasn't for you mesky peddling kids. Right. Old man Witherspoon.
He goes hauling ass upstairs, and that's about the time that Beaumont staggers his half-paralyzed behind down the stairs. He sneaks up on murder, and they both... Power bombs them off the side of the stairs. And they both go down into the cliff. And then they both die. And then Madeline kind of goes, what? Hey, what happened? And then that's pretty much the end of your movie. What did you think of White Zombie, fellas?
Good movie. Yeah, I liked it. It's pretty good. It's very dated, obviously. There is a 2014 remake that I have not seen. But from what I hear, it's not very good. So I think I'll stay away from that. This one's fine. It's only an hour. It's only an hour. There are some actual white actors portraying African Americans. You know, it's funny you said that. So I watched it on Prime. It was on Prime, and actually they had the...
Color version? Yeah, remastered. Color version, which I don't recommend. There's a color version? Yeah, that's what I watched. Remastered, yeah. Remastered. And, you know, when they... start the movie on Prime they have the rating and what the rating's for and it was I think it was PG and it said
Blackface. Seriously. Wow. So that was the reason. For the PG. For the PG. Okay. Blackface. All right. Oh my. Yeah. Okay. And you really can see the blackface if you have it in color. I don't. That crazy. You know which doctor? Yeah. He's a white guy. That doesn't surprise me. Oh, well, you know, 1932.
What do you expect? Not a bad show. Only an hour long. I watched the original Black and White on Tubi. It is fine. It's very grainy. Audio was really dicked on it, too. I had to stop and walk up to the TV and put my ear to it a couple of times. Other than that, it was fine. Check it out, inmates. If you haven't seen it, it's worth a watch, I'd say. Let's take us a break, gentlemen, and we'll come back with some other shit. Sounds good. I don't remember why I came.
I am so far away. No more me into my life. No more reason to stay. He's intense. Hey, inmates. If you like what you hear, head over to the Padded Room Facebook group and support us through the patron link with a small monthly donation. Check out the T-Villain link at paddedroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts. Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show. And we are back, gentlemen. Yes. Oh, shit. And now, for your viewing pleasure on the main stage, Cinnamon.
I've missed my calling as a stripper, as a titty bar announcer. Yeah, buddy. Whoa. I got chills. I started looking for cinnamon. I got some singles. Where's the disco ball? And voodoo just brings back good memories of strippers in the 90s because everybody was dancing to voodoo. Oh, yeah. I love it. Right on. Well, we are out of Terradome season, fellas. I think it's time to kick it a little old school and bring back the meat hook.
Three on a meat hook. All right. We're going three on a meat hook this week, as chosen by Dusty, Voodoo Movies. All right. Why don't you kick us off there, Dusty, since this was your pick? Oh, boy. I was digging deep for this one. I had suggested, and I was like, whoa, shit, now I've got to figure out what I'm going to do. I did my number three. I chose Venom from 2005. Okay. The slasher. It was a pretty decent slasher. That's the one with Method Man. Yeah. No, he wasn't Method Man.
There wasn't anybody really known in that one. It was the one about the truck driver. Is that right? Yeah. Then he gets bit by the snakes that have the... Method Ben was in that? Yeah, he was like the sheriff. Oh, maybe. It was a really wacky role. Yeah, you might be right. I'm going to check into it. It's been a minute since I saw it, but I remember it was kind of a cool concept. I don't want to sound too racist, but it might have been a different rapper.
Yeah. Was it rated PG? Yeah. So that's what I chose for number three. Agnes Bruckner. That's actually a pretty good show all the way around. I like the scorpion kill he does on that guy. He throws a chain through the window and pulls him out. Yeah, that was Method Man. Deputy Turner. Good to know. Yeah, that's not a bad show. A little underrated, not very well known amongst non-deep dive horror doofuses like us. I think they were trying to...
re-kickstart the slasher era, you know, with that, hatchet, that kind of stuff. Yeah, yeah. I don't know. I thought it was decent. Sure. So I made my top three. That's not a bad show. How about you, buddy? What do you got on three? My number three is 1988's The Serpent and the Rainbow. Okay. Yeah. That's my number one. Oh, okay. That's my number two. Okay. All right. That's a great.
show yeah have you guys ever seen that uh show on shutter cursed films yep yes i was gonna say the episode on that one dude bananas everybody got fucked up down there big time like weird diseases and sicknesses they filmed it in haiti yeah yeah Yeah, yeah. And Wes Craven had some weird stomach disease that came out of nowhere. It's called malaria, Darian. Is that what it was? I don't know what it was, but everybody got fucked up big time with weird...
Shit happening. A great show. Based on a true story, too, apparently. Really made me afraid of the wrestler Papa Shango over him. Because he looked just like the executioner guy. And that part where Bill Pullman gets his... pee-pee nailed to the chair. Yeah, that was... That's no bueno. Gnarly. No bueno. I remember watching that when I was kidding, like, what are they doing?
Mine's not long enough to get nailed to a chair. Apparently Pullman's got quite the hog on him. He's very gifted. Especially when you get scared, it kind of shrivels up, right? He'd have to go looking for mine. Where? is it right on man my number three child's play okay yeah it's uh not really a voodoo movie but yeah it is it's got a dusting of voodoo sure um
The idea that this fucking knucklehead from Chicago is well versed enough in voodoo to put his soul into a doll in hindsight is a little silly. Yeah. It was meant to be a stopgap, but then never finished. You've got to write that off. The rest of the movie is pretty good.
Until Chucky turns into a stand-up comedian and then goes completely off the rails with Bride of Chucky and Seed of Chucky. Yeah, it's just the first one's always used to be the best. I always thought they should have done like a voodoo movie, you know? Okay.
Charles Lee Ray, killer doll, great. Let's do more with the voodoo aspect. Prequel. Well, yeah, maybe. That wouldn't be bad. With him, like, how did he learn all this stuff? How did he learn voodoo? Where did all this voodoo come from? You know? Shit like that. Right on. That's my number three. What's number two? My number two was The Serpent and the Rainbow. Oh, yeah. Okay. Right on. Same reasons. Same reasons, yeah. I expect. Buddy?
1943 is I Walked With a Zombie. I have not seen that. You've got to check it out. It's another sugar plantation thing. Okay. They remade that one. Like 2014, I was just kind of going through a list, and I had never seen either one of them. So I don't know how good the remake is either. Did you see the original? I haven't. Okay. I have not seen the remake. Okay.
But yeah, check it out. It's pretty good. So that's not like a flesh eater zombie. It's more of a... Same kind of thing we were looking at. Slave labor kind of a deal. Right on. Okay. Very cool. My number two... A little movie called Devil's Advocate. Oh, yeah. Ken Reeves. You're probably wondering... Is that voodoo or that's more of... You don't remember Delroy Lindo?
Oh, yeah. In that movie where he's nailing the cow tongue down. Yeah, I do. But that was one of his clients, right? Yeah, the whole lawsuit about kosher beef and animal cruelty and all that. So basically that's, we could say, like Predator 2.
is a voodoo movie now, right? Sure. I didn't think of that. Because the Jamaican Kings, right? I don't know that they were doing voodoo. Oh, sure. Remember the guy, before he gets his head cut off, he rolls the bones on the... Yeah, but I thought... That was their thing. I thought that was just because they were really high. Oh, yeah.
They talk about their voodoo guy. Do they? It's been a while since I've seen that one. Yeah, it's a fucking good movie. I forgot all about that, Dusty. God damn it. All right. That's my number two. How about number one, big dog? My number two is Angel Heart. Oh, yeah. That's another good one. Mickey Rourke. Yeah. Robert De Niro as the devil. Yeah. Yeah.
fucking Lisa Bonet got naked in that one. And then got her heart ripped out. Sex scenes and then got fired from the Cosby show because of it. So, yeah, but she was banging. She was banging. That's a good show, man. doesn't make a lot of sense well he's he's the guy right yeah he is all the time what's his name johnny angel or something like that well that's his name his pseudonym yeah before before yeah whatever hairy hairy angel my bad
He only could change his first name. He couldn't remember that. That's right. Right on. That's your number two? Yep. I was number one. Oh, the number one. Actually, my number one is Angel Heart. Angel Heart. Okay. My number one was Serpent and the Rainbow, but I would also like to give an honorable mention, The Skeleton Key. It's not... It's fine, but it's more for the atmosphere than the actual voodoo, I think. Because at the end, when you find out what's going on, it's not actually that scary.
It's just these two that are body hopping and doing that. But the voodoo and the plantation and the fucking New Orleans seedy underbelly, like the, you know, just the grimy. Have you guys ever been to New Orleans? Nope. Me neither. We should go. We should. Do like a fucking voodoo tour or something. Hell yeah. Do one of those. That's how. That's how Hatchet started, right? They were doing the Louisiana Swamp Tour. Yeah. Everybody gets...
fucking suspiciously Asian tour guide doing his best Cajun accent. I'd do a voodoo swamp tour. Hell yeah. I want to, do you think we can hunt? I've always just wanted to ride on one of those airboats. Oh, those things look badass. That just looks fun as shit. Yeah, it looks like
they go like 500 miles an hour. Fucking bugs flying through your teeth. Great. I want to kill a gator. Can we do that legally? Sure. Okay. Yeah, you can. Okay, well, we'll talk about this off the air. We just had a buddy of mine that went down there. and did that. Let's go! I can't remember. It's probably Florida. We should totally do it. Yeah. If nothing else, just to go to the swamps. Mancation. Here we go, bros. We're talking about Tennessee.
Tell Jason to meet us in New Orleans. He's not going. I'm going to tell you right. It's too hot. People down there are filthy. You live in Tennessee. Bring the film crew. That's right. That is your meat hook for the week, inmates. Top three voodoo movies. Now...
It doesn't have to be a movie about voodoo. It can just be a movie with some light dustings or voodoo connotations or just something that made you feel like voodoo. But if you call up and say, Chopping Mall, I'm going to tell you to fuck right off because that has nothing to do with voodoo.
Let us know by next week. We'd love to hear what your three voodoo movies are. Mental Health Hotline, of course, is area code 775-387-0275. Or just head on over to thepaddedroompodcast.com and hit the mail link there. In the meantime, we've got to tell you what movies we got to watch this week in a little segment called What Are You Looking At? What are you looking at? Have you guys seen The Coffee Table from 2022? Have not. I was flirting with it.
Good or... What's the giggling all about? It's... I don't know if I want to tell you what it's about now. It's worth a watch. It is definitely a thing. I'll just give you a quick snapshot. It's not like the sofa or whatever. The sofa? Yeah, like the one that eats people. Oh, God, no. No, no, no. Picture Weekend at Bernie's with a decapitated baby. Oh, boy. Yeah.
They went there, huh? That's where they went. Oh, my. Those Spanish fellers. Argentinian, I believe, or something like that. Yeah. And basically, guys got a newborn baby. Trips over a brand new coffee table with a glass top on it. Accidentally. Oh, boy. And then spends the rest of the afternoon trying to hide it from his wife.
and his brother and his new girlfriend that show up, and the weird 13-year-old next door that's madly in love with him. There is nothing comedic about this. Wow. It's meant to be totally disturbing. The end is a real kick to the sack. I mean, as if the lead-up isn't a kick to the sack. Well, the beginning sounds like it's a kick to the sack. The whole thing is really a kick to the sack. I'll tell you, it's worth a watch.
Yeah. Hour and a half. It is an hour and a half. Wow, it got a 6.7. It's a good show. I mean... you really feel for the, this guy's, this dude is just coming apart because he knows that this part of the baby is in this room. The rest of the baby is over here and he's trying to convince everybody that the baby's just asleep. So keep your fucking voice down. But he knows. It's almost like the telltale art in a weird way.
Okay. That's all I got to look at. I wasn't in the mood for anything else. You had to watch the Cosby show after that one. Oh, Jesus. Disney Channel. Maybe some Family Guy reruns or something. Buddy, what do you got? Anything? Yeah, I was able to check out a few movies.
Idle Hands. I went kind of old school. Okay. Idle Hands. It's always a funny one. Vamps. I thought I had seen this back in the day, but I actually didn't. And realized how annoying Alicia Silverstone's mouth. Like when she talks, she has all those weird...
Oh, really? Yeah. She's got a funny way of talking. And then, of course, the other chick is the one from Jessica Jones. Okay. Yeah, she's the one who plays Jessica Jones. And re-watched Heretic. My wife's first time watching it, so I don't watch that.
I love that one. Yeah, I do too. Right on. Good stuff. Have you seen that one yet, D? No. I'm getting around to it. Oh, yeah. Check it out. Eventually. I'm too busy watching babies get their heads. First time I saw it was in the theater, and I was like, oh, man, I really like this one, so I finally got the wife to watch it with. Right on. Good stuff. Yeah, we watched in the theater too.
What do you got, Dusty? I saw a couple. I've kind of been... busy lately with volleyball tournaments and what not but I got to see a couple I was kind of still diving into that Mythic Quest show I'm on season 4 now so it's a pretty funny one if you guys haven't watched it It's like I tell Darian, it's The Office, but based in a video game company. Oh, wow. So it's pretty funny. And then I got to watch, I watched off of Shudder, Starve Acre. So I got about three quarters of the way through that.
it's fucking the slowest thing I've ever seen in my life well it got my attention I got to the point where he tries to let the rabbit go and that's about as far as i got well that's when all the shit happens basically it leads all up to that right right so he's digging the holes you know and trying to find and then then you go into His father's journal and all that kind of stuff. And then find out what this rabbit is. And then...
Then the wife starts going fucking batshit crazy. She was already alone. Yeah, but she was obviously grieving from the beginning. So yeah, it's very fucking slow. Do I need to finish it? I would finish it. I said you watched three quarters of it. You might as well finish it because the payoff's at the end. Okay, I'm going to finish it. The end scene is... Pretty gnarly? Well, no, it's just like...
Okay. All right. I will finish it. It has my attention. So for me, who's never seen it, is this something I should start? You've got to trudge through about an hour worth of family drama. And it's all filmed in retro. It's grainy. They wanted to make it look like it was taking place in the 70s. You know, thinking. You can tell. So it's all the videos are very grainy and that kind of stuff. So it's got the kick in the nuts in the beginning. And then...
Family drama ensues and the dad starts going crazy and digging holes in his property seemingly for no reason. And then he finds something and then the payoff is really at the end. But like I said, you've got to trudge through.
an hour worth of bullshit to get to it. And it's, you gotta be paid, it's an active watch, I'd say. Oh yeah, you gotta pay attention. Oh, so it can't do like laundry or shit like that? No, especially with the British accents, you know, you're just like, what the fuck? Yeah.
I'm terrible with that. That makes slow movie watching harder. Yeah. Yes. When you have to rewind it because my old fucking ears, I can't understand their dialect. I watch everything with subtitles these days. Yeah. Just because I expect my kids to run through the room at any moment.
screaming their lungs out for no apparent reason. Not hearing the TV, so you've got to read it. I am trying to avoid that. I'm basically taking a stand on subtitles until I can't fucking hear it anymore. Let's go, Dusty. I do some movies like The Witch. I have to watch that with subtitles because it's just so off the wall. This is fucking English? No, it's not. No, it's not. I don't know what you call this, but no. Right on, man. Anything else? Yep, and I got to finally catch werewolves.
Oh, yeah. Frank Grillo. Yeah. Oh, boy. I heard nothing good. It's... No, there's nothing good about it. Oh, man. Well, I mean, like I said, the concept was... Original. Basically, a super moon turns everybody that the moonlight touches into a fucking werewolf. Okay. So, it's a year later after the first werewolf...
And they're only a werewolf for the one night. And they all turn back. So now everybody's getting prepped. Were there more any werewolves? No, they were just... You wake up, I know what we did last night. That would be a comedy. They look fucking ridiculous. It would be a porno. With today's practical effects technologies we have, these fucking things look ridiculous. They look like...
The wolf that's in the Three Little Pigs cartoon from Looney Tunes. The big flappy mouth and the eyes are all fucking too set. They're ridiculous. That'll kill a werewolf movie. I give them credit for the practical effects, but... They're fucking ridiculous. And the whole premise is the scientists thought they could develop a moon screen, much like a sunscreen, right?
So Frank Grillo is one of the scientists, and he's got a family. His brother died in the last supermoon, and he's trying to protect his family, so he's getting them all set up with the electrified fence and shotguns and shit. The dialogue is just fucking abysmal, for one. And then he goes to his job, and they've got four volunteers that are werewolves, and they...
have the retractable roof on the little lab there, and they hose them down with the moon screen to see how well it works. Well, obviously, you can tell that it only works for about an hour, and then they break out and kill everybody in the warehouse. or the laboratory, and then he's trying to make his way back to his family or his brother's family to protect him. The other thing... This fucking director must have gone to the Michael Bay, J.J. Abrams school of filmmaking because every...
scene has a fucking lens flare. And it is just annoying as all hell. You can feel he's trying to make it this big, epic, Michael Bay, Transformer-esque, you know, with the lens flare. But it just... Every scene, every light source is giving off a lens flare. I'm like, what the hell is this guy thinking? It was $6, so I waited until it came down to price. But if you want to watch it... I would just wait until it's free or just skip it altogether. It doesn't sound too good. No.
Tell you what, Frank Grillo, for as old as he is, he's been doing his sit-ups. This is cardio. He always looks good, dude. I'm telling you, like the wife, she was like, this is the stupidest fucking thing. She probably fell asleep, you know, 20 minutes in. Yeah. But in that first 20 minutes, he's out and the wife beat her and he's, you know, helping his family. Of course.
Of course. Man, that guy's in pretty good shape for an old fella. I was like, yeah, he is. It's all steroids. I heard he's gay. I heard he's gay. So 4.4. Yeah. Yeah. It's not doing very good. Steven C Miller. Yeah. He looks like a douche nozzle. Oh dude. Lens flares. It's just. It was distracting. That's too bad. I had high hopes for that one. I did too. When they first announced it and they were doing all those little Facebook, you know, Facebook will show you.
clip of maybe the poster or something. Sweet. They did that on the trailers too on some movies. Oh well. Anything else bud? Nope. That's it. Alright. Let's do some immersion therapy. Yeah. Immersion Therapy. A little carnival of souls coming at you. Yeah. Good stuff. Was that neighbor a tit lurker professional? Right? Had the tit lurker game locked down. Locked down. Good Lord, man. Apparently back in the day, you could just...
bully a young lady into going out with you. And she would just have to for fear of her own life. Just to get... Make him stop. I'll just go with him. Yeah, just fine. God. Pure pressure. Yeah, totally. There is a riff track to this movie that is fucking hilarious. Every time the zombie, whatever you want to call it. pops up and scares the shit out of her. They do like a middle manager voice. And he's like, Karen, where are your TPS reports? Ah!
That's funny. It's good stuff. This movie's been around forever. Yeah. If you want to know every fucking possible nuance... thing about this movie you can watch it on shutter with joe bob he breaks down the director the writer how this thing got made where it went how it fell into obscurity how it came back from obscurity how it slipped into public domain, what happened to the actress during the filming, what happened after the filming.
Pretty much any goddamn... I'm not going to bore you with all of that shit because we'll be here all goddamn night. But it's fascinating stuff. It's a decent show. I wouldn't call it a zombie movie. More of like a weird... Yeah, it was... Death movie? Yeah, you were dead the whole time. Yeah. I see dead people, but... Because I'm dead. Yeah, because I'm dead. I'm the dead person. Maybe, I don't know. They're trying to help me...
figure out that I'm dead by having a big party. By scaring me. By scaring me, yeah. Yeah, and having a big party at the abandoned carnival or whatever it was. Yeah, yeah. It's a good show. It was remade in 1989, but the remake has zero to do with anything. It starred Shawnee Smith and Larry Miller, the stand-up comedian, as a serial killer.
Dude. I've seen that, I think. It is bananas. It has nothing to do with anything at all. Anyway, good show. Public domain. You can find it just about anywhere. Anywhere. Yeah. I believe the 7-Eleven on the corner of Praetor. What do you got for us this week, buddy? Well, thanks to Tom Hardy. We're going to check out...
Butterfly Kisses. This is 2018. It's about a director that discovers a box of videotapes showing the creepy film project of two students that stars a local horror legend. And you'll find this gem. on Freebie, Tubbie, Pluto, et cetera, et cetera. All right. Very cool. Check that shit out. Inmates, we'll do the same and compare notes next week. But now it is time for a round of Who's Your Daddy? Yeah. I got it on the first try this time. Look at that.
Who is daddy? First, my clues from last week. I am a... I'm headed home for the... the Thanksgiving break and I'm going to bring my new fiance with me. She's, I'm a college professor. She used to be a student of mine. So that's a little questionable. My family is fucking loaded. All kinds of money made by the way. From the KPG Corporation, which should give you a clue right there. I really hope that my douchebag brother and my other lowlife brother show up because...
There's probably some dudes already in the house that are looking to kill everybody with some very cool, like a razor wire clothesline situation and an arrow to the head and some other devious. tricks I'm your next obviously good show great movie everybody's seen it oh yeah love it love it more of a comedy I think Sharni Vincent gets down with the meat tenderizer there at the end. Well, who might I be this week, you ask?
I am a down-on-my-luck young man with a very pushy girlfriend who has kind of bullied me into helping her ne'er-do-well friends rob a bank. naturally that shit didn't work out the way we thought so her dipshit fucking i think guy that side piece uh decided to kidnap one of the tellers and try to uh Parlay that into some kind of a ransom scheme. Genius. We're going to hold up at this abandoned school for a little while. I sure hope there's not a guy with a mask in one of those giant club-like...
Plow things walking around, picking off her idiot friends in gruesome and grotesque ways. Who might I be, you ask? Tune in next week, and I'll drop some knowledge on you, inmates. Yeah. In the meantime... Like, comment, subscribe wherever you found this show. That helps our visibility quite a bit. Join us next week for The Raven from 1935, continuing Bela Lugosi month here in the padded room. You guys got anything else on the week? No.
All righty. Four. Idiots that try to rob banks and then end up taking tellers as hostages because they don't know what else to do. Found footage movies that... include kaiju and should probably i don't know continue on the kaiju story we never got an end or an explanation in any of the cloverfield movies did we it's just Well, I thought the space one. The space one kind of tried to. Kind of tried to say it was like a...
extra-dimensional beings or something. Yeah, like a rift or something like that, but it was never really fleshed out. But I guess we're going to learn more, hopefully, in this new movie. We'll see. Giant monsters that come out of the fucking sea.
And I guess they're looking for their mothers and destroying... See, I don't want to meet that thing's mother. If that was the baby, we're in big trouble. They showed it in the space one, remember? It was huge. That was the mother? Yeah. I didn't know that that was ever... It was never...
like stated in the movie, but I thought I read somewhere that that's what the director was going for. That was the mother of the thing. Well, that changes things. I didn't know that was the mother. Yeah. Oh, yeah, we're fucked. Forget that. What else? Bela Lugosi and his weird facial hair. The one white zombie, quote unquote, in Haiti.
And the other white zombie that had black face, apparently, during the whole thing. Sorry about that. And the Padded Room Podcast. I'm afraid visiting hours are over. Bye, and have a great week. Hook my head.