Señor, no, es too sexy. Padded Room Podcast is back for another week of horror nonsense, motherfuckers. My name is still Darian. I have not changed it yet or become part of a federal witness protection program. My main man, Dusty, has returned, putting together a two-week streak here in the padded room. Hello, hello.
What are you doing back here, dude? I guess I'm the plan B of co-hosts here. I'm the morning after pill of co-hosts, I guess. That's what you are. I call every other person I know, and if nobody answers or they also We'll be right back. feel a little something coming on. I don't know. You're going to have to bear with me this week with my nasally coughing and hacking. I'm not full on sick yet, but I can hear it in my voice. It's like brewing.
You got that nasally thing going on a little bit. Yeah, it's coming on. And I can tell you right now, I got it for my fucking kids. Oh, when you have children, it's like living with an outbreak monkey. Exactly right, dude. They just bring the shit. Patient zero.
Coming off the school bus every fucking day, dude. God damn it. They get it from school. They bring it home. They spread it around the house. I take it to work. Now I got six guys calling in. I got to work double shifts, you fucking assholes. It's great, man. Love being a dad. Oh, yeah. It's great. I'm sure I'll get it sooner or later because the daughter had her 14th birthday party. Oh, shit. Talk about a horror show. Yeah, I bet. There's 14...
screaming and cackling 14-year-old girls at my house Saturday night. That sounds awesome. Sleepover? No, thank Christ. But it was bad enough. Okay. You know, the Red Queen and I were... told to make food and help decorate. And then...
Fuck right off as soon as our friends get there and go to the other side of the house and don't bother us unless we need to take somebody to the hospital or something. That's great, isn't it? You're now clocking in. Yeah. You're now putting in work to this fucking shit. God damn it, man.
Right on, dude. Well, we got a real horror show to get to here. We got listener mail and horror news, all kinds of things lined up. Let's kick things off with a little of the old horror news there, Dusty. Sounds good. Horror news. You looking at your phone? Yeah, I got a couple. I don't know about that, but all right. Go ahead.
Hopefully I don't take you. No, I'm sure you did. It's fine. I tried to win for some obscure shit that I thought wouldn't be like glaringly obvious that you would pick. Okay, good man. Okay. I like that. I'm trying to be a good co-host. Okay. Second man down. Sure.
You take all the glory. I'm not going to do anything. If I could get you to do this job and I could just go back to playing Dead by Daylight. Yeah. That would be awesome. All right. What do you got there? So anyway, we talked about it last week that they dropped the trailer for 28 years later. They did. So, it is now officially the second most watched new horror movie trailer in history. Nice. Not of the year, in history. Entire history. Entire history. Behind only, can you guess what the one...
Oh, I'm going to say probably It. Very close, my friend. Yeah? It Chapter 2. Okay. All right. Very close. Very good guess. Yeah. Yep, so they garnered 60.2 million global views in the first 24 hours alone. Oh, yeah. And it's gone up to 146 million global views as of the date this article was written, which I don't know which that date was. Okay. So it's probably higher. Sure.
So, yeah, so they're expecting a massive opening weekend next summer, and they're kind of glad about them diving back into this thing and already... planning for the trilogy. Like I told you last week, they filmed both the first two back-to-back. So I think this is making them feel pretty good about their decision. Yeah, I think it's going to make some money. It's definitely going to make some money with that many views.
There is potential for disaster here, though. They fucked this up. The other two movies are going to be... They're going right into the tank, and that's where they're going to fucking stay, man. So hopefully they do it right. We'll see. Yeah, let's go. We will see next summer. We will. I'm excited. Okay. And then something we talked about last week. Jennifer Love Hewitt has officially signed on for the cast of the reboot or the summer.
reboot of what you did last summer. Okay, so that's got to be what they're doing, right? It's got to be the kids. It's got to be because it's her. I can't... remember who the returning castmates are. So she signed on for it. She's in. And she's going to play her same character. I would imagine. I think it was Jamie, right?
Sure. I don't know. I can tell you what she was wearing. It was probably in this article here that I don't care to read anymore. No, I can tell you what she was wearing for most of that movie. Yes, agreed. Right on. And then the last thing I had, hopefully it didn't take any years. Not yet. You're on a two-for-two streak. All right. I like it. Do you know Austin Butler? Yeah, we used to party together in the 90s. I think he was a child in the 90s. Okay, never mind. It was a weird time for me.
He was the one that played Elvis in the Elvis Presley movie. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He also was in, what else was he in? The Red Queen really likes him. Okay. He's easy on the eyes, according to the ladies. Okay. Anyway. This guy has taken on the role of Patrick Bateman in the new American Psycho. Ah, that is going to be a hard sell. He's a good actor.
But I don't know that anybody else can be Patrick Bateman other than Christian Bale. They're going to set it a little more recent history. They're talking about... Earlier this year, Lionsgate, which owns the film rights to American Psycho, aims to reimagine Patrick Bateman in the fast-paced modern era. So... I don't know about this one, Dusty. I feel like my feelings are going to be hurt. I don't get all the...
Reboots, whatever you want to call them. Reworkings, redoes. Whatever happened to everybody's original ideas? Well, yeah, we're running short of those these days. The original ideas you have is the... Substance in what? We'll get more into that in a minute. Holy fuck. Yeah, that was something. Did you ever see American Psycho 2? That was with the girl from the 70s show. Yeah, yeah. American... No. Was it American Mary? No, it was American Psycho. No, it was American Psycho 2. Not very good.
No, not very good at all. It had more like a weird kind of after-school special feel to it. Yeah, the original. I mean, once you saw the original. and how good he did about playing a psychopath. Oh, yeah. Looking at the highfalutin 80s society. Scummy business world. Yeah, but they don't do anything. No. I mean, in the movie, he didn't do anything. All he does is fixate on his business cards. Draws his little severed head blowjob things. Yeah. But he never does any work. No, none of them do.
Murders and executions. Must have been a great time to be a businessman in the 80s. I have to drive to an office where I have to load tools into a truck and shit. Exactly. These guys are just sitting around getting paid bank. Yeah, going to expensive lunches. Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. Have you seen a movie called Violent Night? Oh, yeah.
Violent Night 2 in the works. David Harbour returning. I was going to... I'm glad that I thought I was going that way. You thought about doing it. I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad you showed some restraint. I did. Like I said, I was searching for the...
the little intricacies. Sure. Horror news. Sure. Be a little more, uh, do a deeper dive. I'm excited for this. I really liked, uh, silent night or, uh, it was great. I'm going to watch it again. Thinking, thinking about that. Yeah. I just picked it up on blu-ray. Uh, Have you seen a movie called Irreversible? Irreversible? I have not. Okay. Hang out with me on this. It is a rape-revenge movie. It's directed by Gaspar Noé.
It's basically the entire movie is backwards. Okay. So you start with the rapist being murdered by the boyfriend and the fiance. And then you go back like... 45 minutes of them tracking him down. And then you go back to the actual, this is like the most brutal rape scene in history. It's like eight and a half minutes long. Monica Bellucci really gets the...
but Jesus beaten out of her in a tunnel. Okay. And then you go back to like them getting ready to go out that night. And the whole thing starts with them getting ready to go on a date. And she's debating over whether or not she should tell her fiance that she's pregnant. Oh. It's a good show. It's one of those movies that you only need to see once. But here's the thing, man. On January 1st, Shudder is going to release a straight cut of it.
which means it's going to play chronologically instead of backwards. Now I might have to watch it again just to see if it's better correctly or if backwards. I don't know. Well, the big reveal seems to be... that she was pregnant and she got brutally raped so i mean you find that out in the beginning now
Instead of being kind of the MacGuffin or the big reveal. Well, I mean, the cool part about the original is that you start off with this bloody murder. And it takes you a good... I don't know, hour to realize that everything's happening backwards.
So you're wondering why this poor chump got killed, and he gets killed in a pretty brutal fashion too. And then you follow these two guys as they're trying to track him down, and the whole time you're going, what's your fucking problem, dude? Why don't you just let this guy go about his night? I got you. And then you see the race.
and then you're like, oh yeah, fuck that guy. I got you. And then you get back. It's a thing. That's pretty, okay, I got you. It's nuts, dude. Are they going to release both versions on Shudder or is the other one on Shudder already? I think the other one might already be on there. The backwards version. I'll have to check it out. The straight cut is going to hit.
it uh january 1st here's something i don't know how to feel about uh i may need you to massage me a little bit with this steve walsh has announced a return of the living dead sequel to take place yeah you had me to take place in 1985, 18 months after the events of the very first Return of the Living Dead. It's going to be a Christmas movie. There's teasers up right now, but they don't really show anything other than what appears to be Tar Man.
Dragging a Christmas tree through a cemetery. Okay. That's... Now, there was another part to this story that I read. There is. I got more. Okay, go for it. Go for it. Well, let me. No, no, no. You keep going on with this. Okay, let me just kind of. See how I feel about this. Now, we've had Return of the Living Dead sequels. None of them have been that good, really. Return of the Living Dead Part 2 was basically a kid's movie.
Return of the Living Dead Part 3 was like a Bon Jovi music video with a somewhat sexy zombie putting broken glass through her nipples. Return of the Living Dead 4, 5, and 6 were like these weird Eastern European Resident Evil knockoffs. Don't even waste your time. They're like sci-fi originals. So... Really, there's no place to go in this franchise but up, I feel like. Yeah, but if you're going to compare it to the original, it's going to be a direct sequel of...
Return of the Living Dead. So it sounds like they're kind of trying to do a reboot deal like they did with Halloween. Where they put the peacock Halloween. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm okay with that because I'm perfectly happy to write off the entire rest of the franchise. It's very strange. You know what? You want to know something really creepy about those movies? There's one guy that has been in...
He was in the first four movies. A guy by the name of Brian Peck. He played Scuzz in the first movie. And he was recently indicted on pedophilia charges after that Nickelodeon... docu-series that came out on netflix what was that one called yeah i know what you're talking about what the fucking kids or something something like that 90s or kids yeah behind the curve i don't know it was a nickelodeon thing but that's kind of creepy
Obviously, I'm sure he's not going to be in this one. No. I should hope not. I would hope not. It's a bad president if he is. But I've got more. Where that came from, Dusty, because also Linnea Quigley has just announced that she is directing a Return of the Living Dead sequel of her own. Trash is revenge. I'm not. I don't know about this shit here. I read a synopsis of it.
Basically, it's going to be found footage. And what she's saying is that it's going to be like her and a couple of the original cast are going to get back together. to make this fake documentary and that's where her character is going to reveal that some of the movie was like real and she still has some of those canisters yeah oh
I don't know about that shit, man. I'm thinking to myself, what the fuck? Really? Okay. I mean, I'll check it out just because it's got my curiosity. But recently, Brink Stevens directed a sequel to Slimeball... Sorority Babes and the Slimeball Bolorama, which is one of my favorite movies, and it's garbage. So I'm not too hot on these Scream Queens directing movies right now. Talk to me in a couple years. Maybe I'll come around.
Speaking of a couple years there, Dusty, does the name Zach Bagans ring any bells? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, he is launching a horror film production studio called Scarehouse Films. Okay. He's trying to... Is that the Kirkland brand Blumhouse? Probably, yeah. Yeah, you can buy it in bulk if you want. I guess he's running out of ghosts and haunted shit. Running out of haunted places? Yeah, so he's going to start making horror movies.
Good luck to you, sir. God bless him for trying. I don't know what he's going to do with that. Probably couldn't be worse than the piece of shit we watched this week. Oh, yes. What? What? I'm hurt, Dusty. But more to come on that. But there's more. All right, dude. That's all we got on the horror news. Let's do some listener mail here, shall we? Yes, sir. We got emails and voicemails, all kinds of fun things happening tonight here.
I say we start things off with an email all the way from Sydney, Australia, Dusty. Subject line, it's from Tim, the dummy of horror, you know him. Subject line, I'm not gay, but... I think he's willing to learn, Dusty. Dusty just turned a new shade of red. Tim, I think we hit a nerve here. What's up, you hootie-tootie disco cuties?
Apologies for the lack of email from last week. I had it written out but forgot to press send, you fucking dumbass. So this week, no fights, but Dracula vs. My Guy Predator is going to be tough. Let's discuss the substance. I'm guessing you loved it, Dariena, and if you didn't, then I have questions as to why. Don't you like boobs? Yes, I do. Thank you for asking. And that ending. Fucking awesome. We'll get into that there, Tim.
Darian, are you a film called Notorious? No, but you're very close. It's actually nefarious, Tim. I think that you're thinking of the right movie. You just got the name wrong, or maybe you auto-corrected or something. lastly before i leave you it was cool to hear dusty on the show he did great and Look, I'll be real, I'm not gay, but if Dusty whispers sweet words into my ears, then I will pitch a tent. Man, his voice could make even the strongest man quiver.
Well, thank you, sir. Hope to hear him back on the show. You got it, Tim. That's it for me, animals. Much love. Thanks. Thank you, Tim. Well, look at that. You've got the first official member of the Dusty Fan Club. Him and his boner, apparently. I love it. Keeps me coming back. Yes, sir. We've got some voicemails here, amigo. Let's kick it off with our main man in Alabama. Alan's here. What's up? What's up, Alan? Yes, sir.
Mr. Darian, are you nefarious? Nefariamus? You got it. Nefariamus? I didn't get to watch that. It's a Latin version. I ended up watching the new Joker movie. I loved the first one. Yeah. This one had, like, shots and pieces of it that were really good. Okay. And then it started to suck. Yeah. Okay, we'll turn it off. And then something gets good.
Well made or whatever. Yeah. It's not very good. Man. That's all I got. I'll talk to y'all later. Bye. I've not seen it yet. Have you seen the new Joker movie, Dusty? No. The Red Queen was watching it the other day. The other morning I came down. I sat down. Trying to watch it, and then a song broke out, and I said, I got better shit to do. Musical.
Yeah. Musical. Not in my favorite genre. That's a hard sell. Yeah. Especially after the first movie, you know? First movie was great. First movie was amazing, but now we're breaking out into choreography. I get it. It kind of fits with the theme of the Joker and the... insanity of it, I guess, but that's a tough one for me. Yeah, I have no desire to watch it. I don't think it did well in theaters and it was on max very quickly. That's not a good sign, but...
Here comes Tom Hardy. Hey-o. Hey-o. Padded room house. My favorite degenerate this week. I'm all right. I do hope everyone is doing well and getting in that holiday spirit. I wanted to get in real quick there. It's good to have Dusty in the studio. Yeah, buddy. You know, I'm sure it's good for you too, Darren, to have someone to talk to. Yes, sir. I know that Jason's moved on, but... I don't know that I have.
What, two maybe? Two of your mom's basement fucking episodes? We did. I was into that shit, man. I thought it was fun. I thought it was entertaining. I don't know if y'all will do it again, but... We'll get Jeff in here one of these days. Let me get into it real quick. On the educating department, this one's going to fucking piss me off. Oh, come on now. Oh, fuck yeah. Of course it's that. Come on. You don't have it. Shit.
Nothing on the Terror Dome, so I guess we're just right back to what are you looking at? Yeah, what do you got? I only caught one flick, and I've been waiting. It was out on Hulu. Okay. And when I saw it, I was like, oh, I'm waiting for the right time. I'm just not going to watch it. I'm going to wait until the right time. It's the alien Romulus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got to catch that, man. I got to say, I was fucking digging it, man. Yeah. I really...
Was digging that flick, man. Something that I thought was kind of interesting, I don't know if this is intentional or if this is me just making some bullshit up. It seemed like it had... every part of every other alien movie in it and like what i mean by that was like at the beginning it was very much like alien and then towards the end it started to get to aliens
You know, when they got, like, the pulse rifle down and shit like that. And then I was really digging it, and then it fucking went to Alien Resurrection with that fucking hybrid. Yeah. hybrid Queen Xenomorph. Yeah. I gotta say, it didn't ruin the flip for me. I still loved it. I still thought it was a great flip, but I was fucking loving it. I was truly digging it.
And that just kind of brought it down a little bit for me. All in all, though, if anybody hasn't seen it, man, fuck, I probably just fucking ruined a portion of it. You did. My apology. You fucking asshole. Fuck, I hope somebody says it.
fucking trigger one or whatever anyway that's all I've got this week hope all is well love you like family bye now love you too Tom Hardy you've seen it oh yeah you liked it I did and I I agree with Tom Hardy that I don't want to get into like you said spoilers and stuff but i really enjoyed the technology um consistency that they had with it all the buttons were analog and all the shit looks like it looked like when it was in alien yeah yeah
And then I agree with him to get into aliens and then a dabble of Prometheus here and there. And then the ending, it kind of... I was not mad. I wasn't mad, but it was just like, ooh, another one of these things. I wasn't furious at Alien Resurrection. Not my favorite, obviously. I remember I really went through a Winona Ryder phase, and seeing her with that little elf haircut thing she had, I was kind of... She was a jackpot. She was, totally. I would pay top dollar for some kind of a replica.
situation. She's a self-loathing jackpot. She doesn't even know she's a jackpot. Maybe she does know. I don't know. I don't care. But I wasn't that mad at it. The end of Alien Resurrection with that weird skull xenomorph situation. That was kind of silly. It does make a quick guest appearance in Alien Romulus. It's something very similar to it, not that one. Um...
I dug the hell out of Alien Romulus. What I liked the most about it was that you knew from, like, as soon as they got on the ship, you're in Fidi Alvarez land, and that's where you're going to be. So a lot of vibrant colors, a lot of ultraviolence. A lot of dread. I mean, it harkened back to Alien. Sure. The first time you saw it when you were a kid. Yeah, yeah. The dark hallways and the sense of where's this thing going to fucking come from.
the, the dread of going through that room with all the face huggers fucking sitting there. Oh yeah. Just in the waiting to, you know, no, when there was, had to walk. Oh yeah. Yeah. And they're all just sitting on the shelves kind of like looking at them, you know? Yeah. Oh fuck. No, not interested. Yeah. Good show, though, man. I'm glad you liked it, Tom Hardy. I got a movie that you're probably not going to like so much. Shall we, Dusty? I guess. Let's get it on with.
Wouldn't it be much nicer to stay at home? Yes, it would. I'm tired and I don't want to get us into an accident, okay? No, I know. It is The Farm, Dusty. It's from 2018, got 3.7 stars on IMDb. For the limited amount of actual acting that took place, I feel like that's pretty high. I think when your main characters... screen name is the same as their real life name, you kind of know what you're getting into acting wise. They can't even remember a name to be called on screen.
I mean, unless you're doing like a Blair Witch kind of a thing and taking it to that level, which we're not. No. We're not even in the same neighborhood. It's written and directed by Hans Stearnward, stars Nora Yessian, Alec Gaylord. Sorry. Juvenile. I am not a mature man. I apologize. And Ken Volk. I mean, this isn't anything we haven't already seen a thousand times there, inmates, but this one is not done as well. I feel like there's some political posturing involved here, some kind of a...
Um... I don't know, metaphorical deep dive into the meat processing industry or some shit like that. I'm reaching, Dusty. I'm reaching out. You read way more into it than I did. I want to find a reason to like this movie, but I can't. I was struggling to find a reason to. They keep it going. There's that, too, because there is a lot of walking around. Yes. And not a lot of talking, just a lot of... taking things from one place and walking them clear across. Remedial chores. Yeah. In the...
In the farmyard. Yeah. People were raking shit. Raking. Sweeping up the place. Sweeping up dirt. Yeah. On the dirt road. Picking up things. It's like a day at the office, really. What did you do today? I sweat for eight and a half hours. Oh, fuck, man. What do you do tomorrow? Sweep for eight and a half hours. Unloaded some trucks. Yeah, that's about it.
God, man. All right, all right. Well, we're going to start off with a couple's road trip. We have Alec and Nora. Yes, those are the character names. It's assigned to these actors, actresses. They're on a road trip. They are a young, vibrant couple. They seem to be very happy. Nora is fairly attractive. I'll tell her that. Alex seems like a bit of a... He doesn't look too handy.
No, no. He doesn't look like somebody that could fix, change a tire. No, he definitely is not somebody that you want to walk into a dark alley with, is what I'm saying. Inspect him to help you out. No. But if he's already in the dark alley and he's looking to jack you up, you're going to be just fine. You're going to be fine. You'll be all right. They're on a road trip. I think they're on their way home from the road trip.
Well, first we're hungry. Well, first we have to pee. Nora has to pee. So Alec is like, okay, there's a rest stop up here. And she's like, ugh. I don't want to just pull over on the side of the road. I want a toilet. So he's like, they go to what appears to be like a ghost town kind of a situation. Yeah. A lot of abandoned buildings. This was my first question. I have several questions, but go ahead. If they're on a road trip and...
And she's saying something to the effect that, or he's saying, we need some gas. And she's like, what are you going to pull over? He's like, oh, they got them every once in a while because they stopped to try to get gas. Yeah, yeah. And it was closed. They're on a dirt fucking road. Yeah.
It's not a highway. No. Why are they on a dirt road? It's a valid question, sir. There are many questions that I have for these people. Where are you going? Where are you coming home from that you have to take a dirt road? If they're on the dirt road, on a road trip, there should have been some kind of exposition explaining...
God, I wish we wouldn't have ticked that shortcut back there. You know, something. You know, because why are you off the highway in the first place? This is very easily fixable with some dialogue. Yeah. Oh, God. You know, look at this historic tree right here. It's great. This is what we came to see. Hey, honey, want to see the biggest ball?
of yarn hey yeah no we're gonna be home in no time uh anyway they pull off into this weird ghost town type of situation and uh The gas station is closed, but Nora really has to pee, so she just goes behind the gas station, where she finds like a tent city kind of a situation.
A lot of trash everywhere. It looked like there was a campfire going there for a hot minute. She squats down to pee, and she finds some guy's wallet in the campfire, and it's all burnt up and jacked off. So she's like, oh, and she went... we see but she doesn't is a bunch of carcasses like strown off in the distance very exciting uh she gets back in the car and on the road they go now they're hungry so they got to stop and eat somewhere and they stop at a greasy side of the road
Diner. God damn, do I love me a greasy diner, Dusty. Oh, I love the greasy diner. I love being able to taste the meat that was cooked 10 days ago. I love it. On your burger. Absolutely. Because they never clean the grill. No, they don't clean that shit. They don't have time for that. Yeah.
You walk in. There's a waitress with an attitude. She's probably worked there her entire life. She doesn't give a shit what you want. Nope. You've got to go to her when you're ready to order. What's your special, ma'am? You're in a diner. Yeah. Eat a fucking burger. Yeah. That's what you're having. Thanks, Flo. Okay, we already know what neighborhood we're in in the horror realm because it's Cannibal Month.
There's going to be a lot of, even if we didn't know, we could tell because suddenly we're getting these close-up shots of the burgers on the grill and the bacon being laid on them. All right. I'm with you. I see what you're doing here. That's called foreshadowing. That's what that is. And they get their burgers and then they're back on the road and everything's good. There's like a weird guy at the diner sitting up at the bar and he keeps looking back at her.
It's kind of making her uncomfortable, and she doesn't really want to be there, rightfully so. Back on the road they go, and now they're tired. It appears to be 1 o'clock in the afternoon, Dusty. What are we doing? I was asking the same question. It's 3 p.m., dude. The sun is out. It's bright. Soldier on until at least 10 p.m., 11 o'clock. I think at one point they said, we have another three hours until we're home, and I am so tired. Three hours!
It'll be 7 o'clock. You're at home in time for dinner, man. What are you doing? You're at home in time for Jeopardy. Exactly. Again, could have been... Fixed with one line of dialogue. Oh, we shouldn't have left at 10 o'clock last night. I thought we would make better time. Driving all night. I'm so tired. Okay, that makes sense. No, we're not going to do that. What we are going to do is pull over. We finally find a gas station that's open.
We meet the gas station attendant who recommends a quote-unquote place with some cabins down the road. Not a hotel. Not a motel. Just a place with some cabins. Yes. Okay. Well, first off, the gas station guy was way too happy to help. Second off, they get to the place with the cabins.
I'm getting like a religious cult compound feel type of thing. I am as well. I mean, like, okay, first off, they go in and they meet the front desk guy who's not at the front desk. He's like up in a weird... squad bay kind of a situation he said it was uh they used to rent it out to boy scout troops and church groups yeah yeah so it's more of a hostel
than anything. Just bunk beds stacked everywhere. Yeah. Okay. A little strange, but alright. Dude, I don't care how fucking tired I am. I'm not staying there. Especially after meeting this guy. The guy that's running the front desk has like a sideways face. Yeah. I don't know what his deal is. The left half of his lip did never go down below his teeth. No. But the other side just kind of drooped. Maybe it's Bell's palsy or something. Something. It's not good. It's not a good look. And she was...
She's already busting his balls for being too trusting. Did we glaze over when he tried to stop and help that old lady? They had her hood up. Oh, no. I've completely glazed over that. So she got pissy with him at that because this lady was a total cunt to him. Right, yeah. He gets out and tries to help him or help her because she's sitting there in the middle of the road. And she's like, you people. I don't see a wedding ring. And he's like, she's all, excuse me? Yeah.
And she's all, I think you should mind your own business. You people just want it all and take it all and you don't give a shit about anything else. And we're trying to help you, you old bitch. Yeah, exactly. And so then she told him to get in the car and a whole I told you so rant goes. I told you people are inherently assholes. So she's the pessimist of the couple. And he's the optimist. And the optimism of this rube is going to lead to some bad things.
Well, obviously we're in horror land, but I don't understand. There's a lot to chip away at here. Why are we getting a room at 3 o'clock in the afternoon, number one? Number two, why are we staying here? This place is funky. The guy is creepy. I know... And we get, like, he gives them a little tour of the place, and he's actually very nice. But just looking at him now.
No, no. I'm not staying in this fucking lean-to in the middle of the woods with this... His character name is, quote-unquote, The Landlord. The Landlord. With this guy, you know, creeping around. No bueno, dude. And he already pissed him off with her kind of shooing him out the door. Can you excuse us, please? Sorry. I don't get to talk to a lot of people up here. I was just trying to be nice. Okay, bye. Slams the door. Okay.
So now you twist off the creepy redneck. Yeah, I'll eat the 60 bucks at this point. Let's get back in the fucking car, lady. You're better off sleeping in the car. No, yep, no way. Alec is too tired, dusty. He can't go on for another minute.
He's had a hard day of eating bacon cheeseburgers and trying to help bitchy old ladies. Masculinity is dead, brother. It is gone from this planet. Well, the good news, though, is it... six eight hours later the sun actually sets and it's nighttime and the camera pans down and we see that there was a guy underneath their bed the whole time good um he's got like a uh this is Very typical of what we are expecting to find here. He's wearing an animal mask. He's got coveralls on.
He is your run-of-the-mill rube murderer slash cannibal that you will find in any generic horror movie made after 2005. Not a lot of originality here. Then from there, we're going to cut to sometime the next day when Nora wakes up and she is now in a dog kennel. Now. This is the part that the Red Queen walked in when I was watching this. Yeah. And she's commenting in the kitchen, God, that acting in that movie is fucking horrible. And I said, yes, dear. Why are you watching it? Well...
It's my fault. It's my fault. Gary told me to watch it. I am sorry. And then she comes in and the girl's in the dog kennel. Yep. The same kennel we have for... Our dog. I have the exact same kennel as well. And she's all, why didn't she just break out of that fucking thing? That's what I said. All you gotta do...
Is lift up the top and then pull the front in and the whole thing collapses on itself. But it was locked up. There was a padlock, yes. But the whole front will come down if you know how to do it. But this is going to get even dumber in a few minutes. Yeah, okay. You know where I'm going already.
ready because these dog kennels you can pick them up anywhere all right whatever she's in a dog kennel at first she's like out in the middle of a um like a half constructed building i guess and she just wakes up out in the middle of this thing locked in a dog kennel that she can't get out of uh eventually our friend in the i want to say cow mask shows back up we're gonna so as we get through this movie um
There is next to zero dialogue from this point forward. There's a lot of screaming, a lot of grunting. Our friend, the landlord, makes a return appearance for a few minutes. He does some talking. But other than that, nobody talks. They all wear animal masks. They got like a full-time position at this place. You know what I mean? There's like 60 people working at this quote-unquote farm. Yeah, there's port sweepers. There's street sweepers. Yes. There's...
Grass rakers. There's rock rakers. Yeah. Don't forget the guy that picks up the garbage bag and moves it across over there. Oh, yeah. He moves it to there. And then the other guy that brings it back. Back to the other side. Of course, yeah. So there's like a whole day shift, swing shift thing happening. They're all wearing farm animal masks. You got goat guy. You got cow guy. I thought I saw a duck. There's a couple of chicks. Bunnies. Bunny masks.
There's like one Tardo that I guess he didn't rate a mask yet. You have to earn the mask. I don't know. The Tardo was the gas station guy. Yeah, but he doesn't get a mask. No. So, I don't know. I think it's because he was... Too much on the hillbilly spectrum. Couldn't shut the fuck up. You're not allowed to talk. Not allowed to wear a mask unless you can close your fucking gums for five minutes. Do cows talk? No. Give me back that fucking cow mask, you asshole.
Again, I'm going to have to tell your supervisor. So from here, we get like... What I would equate to an orientation video, a good 40 minutes of just day-to-day life, very monotonous work at this farm, in case you haven't figured it out inmates. This is like they're farming people and they're using people for meat and milk and some weird stuff with a baby here in a minute. But this is what they're doing. It's like a whole industrial process.
I feel like there's some kind of message messaging here happening about how we inhumanely treat cows at fucking. I don't know. I don't know. I feel like there is definitely something going on here, but I don't really care to do the deep dive to figure it out. So Nora gets crated into a warehouse holding area. Now this is the milking area, which is great. We'll know that because all the chicks in the dog kennels there have...
Apparati. Before this, though, remember they took her into the other shed and... did the syringe oh yeah yeah yeah oh yeah because it's a farm right so there is husbandry involved well yeah there's artificial insemination to your livestock yes um that's pretty gnarly now that i think about it Yeah, when she comes to, she's out of the kennel, but she's in the stirrups. And they basically, yeah, they have like a fucking...
It looked like a syringe type of a thing hooked up to a hose, and they stuck it right up the old cooter there and got her pregnant, I assume. Yeah, I think that's her attempting to, yeah. Yeah, and then they put her back in the kennel and moved her off to the milking area. From there, we're going to catch back up to Alec, who is in a different, I guess he's in the meat processing area because he's got a bunch of other dudes there. They're all naked.
A lot of dicks in this movie. I didn't ask for that. Now, here's the part that's particularly stupid. Yes, they are in a dog kennel, but these kennels open from the top. Yeah. There's no lock on the top. No. The guy just walks over and pops it open, and then they put the catch pole on him, pop their head out, and hit him with a hammer. Yeah. So you're telling me that we could just open the top of this and bust right out of here? Yeah. All right. Nobody figured that out, huh?
The feeding troughs that they had in front of them. They're about a good six inches away. And how are they going to get... And there's no holes for their hands to get out. No. You can see one guy like... lazily putting his finger out there trying to get some spew. Yeah. So needless to say, their special effects budget wasn't spent on cages. No, no. They got the bulk deal over at Petco. Yeah, and I think they just reused the same one six or eight times, so there's that.
All right, it's fine. It's fine. I'm not here to pick this movie apart, but there is that. And then from there, we're just going to hang out with one guy wearing a garbage bag and a goat mask. And we're just going to follow him through his daily routine here. He picks up a bag full of body parts and takes it over there. He high fives another guy. He walks past like six or eight people doing very menial chores, sweeping up the place and taking out the garbage.
stuff like that eventually he's gonna go into the boss's office and this is where we come to the realization that the landlord from the shitty uh abandoned girl scout camp is actually the owner and operator of the human meat farm with his sideways face, which is great. He's like, oh, we have a special occasion tonight. We need to get something really special. We're catering a good 80 people. We need...
burgers and dogs, or I think he said meatloaf or something like that. While that's happening, he's kind of walking as he's explaining to... cow mask about how they have to get everything set up for this big uh thing that they're catering uh because he wants to do something special he goes back to the milk
milking warehouse uh where one of the chicks in the cage has a baby this part's kind of gnarly he takes the baby out of the as it ripped out of her hands and then um i mean it's a fake baby obviously but he
Whoever, I think it was... It was one of the guys with the suspenders or something. Yeah, one of those guys just basically picks the baby up and slams its head on the ground, killing it, and then off it goes into meat processing, I guess. Yeah, threw it in the... box with the rest yeah other parts to be made into meat great uh from there we pull nora out of there and move her to a different part of the warehouse
I guess she's not ready to be milked yet because she's not pregnant enough. So she goes to this other holding area, which looks like a stable kind of a situation. Once they set her up in there, she's kind of free to move around a little bit, and she starts talking to her cellmates on either side. One of them's really beat up, and she's like, ugh.
oh, once you're here, you can't get out, so don't even try. And then the chick on the other side is like, no, no, I've only been here a week. But the other chick that's beat up is like, I've been here for two years. I've had 14 miscarriages and I finally had a baby and they just took it. away from me and then she says my it's gonna end soon though because i can't have any more babies so that's what she's she's basically praying for death yeah she's very excited about that
Nora's like, no, no, we've got to keep hope alive. We've got to get out of here, man. We're going to get free of all this stuff. It's going to be awesome. Now, we don't really see what happened to Alec after he got conked in the head. I assumed he died as a sledgehammer. Yeah, I thought they all were dying. Yeah, as a sledgehammer. I thought those guys were the slaughter guys. The body parts? No, I thought the workers, the suspender guys that were bashing them on the head with a...
The sledgehammer? Yeah. I thought they were the slaughter guys. That's what I thought, too. Bubba, Sawyer. Yeah. Okay, smash him in the head and then go take him to the processing. Yeah, that makes sense. Yeah, so that's what I thought. He got the... He got the hammer treatment, yeah. How was he not dead? It doesn't matter. Somehow he...
They never said. No, it doesn't matter. Dusty, stop asking questions. I don't know what to tell you. Because they did. They piled up the other guys in the cart, remember? And they walked them out. Clearly what happened was he did a combat role. Found some clothes. Found some clothes. Dirty. Funky. Disguised himself as a piece of hay. And at that point, the farm animal people walked away, and then he was able to...
I don't know. I'm making this up as I go. Know exactly where Nora was? Well, of course, yeah. I'm making this up as I go. I don't know, man. Okay. It's called A Plot Device. We could use a little bit more. But again, this could have been fixed with one line of dialogue. Oh, I pretended I got knocked out, and then I got up and found these clothes, and now I'm back.
Okay, fine. Or when they pulled the other guys out, they didn't have room for me on the cart, so I escaped. Yeah. They thought I was knocked out. Yeah, I came to and... All right, whatever. Dude, we just got to roll with this, man. All right? This is how things work. so yeah uh she's in there she unfortunately we do get to see the miscarriage lady get butchered she they like string her up and then slit her throat bleed her out and then they start whacking pieces of meat off her it's
Special effects-wise, I'd give it like a 5 or a 6. They never show. They cut her throat and then they... did a slash across her gut and all the guts fell in the bucket, but they didn't show the actual slash, but the guts look pretty good. Yeah. I mean, I'm sure they got them from a butcher shop somewhere or something. I don't know. It's fine.
So that happens. Very sad. About this time is when they've got Nora locked up and her little friend, the optimistic one on the other side. Out of nowhere comes the old... uh alec he's back and he's got blood coming out of his head and he's like oh i gotta get out of here um nora at one point had asked the or no Was it Nora or was it Alec? They ask one of the guys in the cages how we get out of here. Oh, that's right. So she makes a first escape attempt. And she gets...
I don't know, not very far, but she makes it back to the meat housing area where all the naked dudes are. And she asked one of them, hey, how do I get out of here? And he just happens to know that the bus keys are on the desk.
In the boss's office. In the boss's office. And the boss's office is just in the other building. Whatever, dude. Apparently they gave him the grand tour. Maybe he's an ex-employee that used to work there. Maybe. That's what happens when you get fired. That's what happens when you talk. Yeah.
right in the cage with you take that fucking mask off you don't you don't deserve that anymore now you are the meal yes you son of a bitch shut the fuck up man um that's gnarly so but they capture her that time and then put her back where she gets to meet the other two chicks. At that point, Alec reappears, blood coming out of his head, looking like he's shopping at a thrift store. Bust her out of there. Off they go.
We get kind of a silly little game of cat and mouse going on with the dudes. It's really nothing we haven't seen before. I will say, at one point, they hide in... Was it a church? I think it was. It looked like a church on the outside. But then you go inside and there's like plastic. It's like a killing floor, basically. I think it was. It seemed like. Because it was. There was a saying above the. Yeah.
The pulpit, wherever the priest speaks, it had something to do with animals or something. I don't know. And, like, all the Jesus stuff had, like, Jesus' face taken off and an animal on it. Yeah, like a cow face. So I think it was an actual place that they went to. Like you said, I think they were a cult kind of thing, and they were in there worshiping and all that kind of stuff. I don't think it was a place where they took...
the cattle, the human cattle. The human cattle. I don't know. I don't really care. I've already checked out of this movie. Now I'm analyzing it too much. Ah, forget it. Now, this is another part that kind of pissed me off. One of the overall guys goes in there and he spots them as they're leaving. So he takes off chasing them. Nora and Alec go running out. Alec steps in what I think was supposed to be a bear trap.
It didn't look like a bear trap. No. It looked like a big wad of barbed wire. And how the fuck did you not see that? It's like the size... of a goddamn, like a small child, pretty much, you know? Like a whole roll of barbed wire. Yeah. Around the middle of the trail and you didn't see it. No, you're right. But at least they had the decency to put the... The...
They made the sound effect. And then he just kind of falls down. And you can see something around his foot. And he's, I got, you got to go on. You got to go on without me. I can't. I'm just going to slow you down. So Nora runs off. Yeah. Okay. Peace. Yeah. Yeah. I'm not hanging around.
I'm not hanging around for this. This was your stupid fucking idea there, tired guy, to begin with. Off she goes, and then unfortunately, I think it was either cow or pig guy, catches up to Alec and hits him in the head with a hammer. Oh, they dropped a rock on it. Oh, that's right. It was a rock this time. And it made a really very silly sound. Yeah, it was like a squishing watermelon type of a... All right, whatever.
uh from there they continue to pursue nora um she makes it to the boss's office finds the keys uh comes whipping out finds the bus hops in there with her uh somewhat optimistic friend. Now this part I thought was actually like the only decent part of this movie. The friend runs up into the bus and she turns to go find a seat and then she just stops and stands there.
dumbfounded for a second. Nora runs up behind her, gets behind the driver's seat and turns on the bus. And then we see once the camera pans back that all the farm animal dudes are already sitting on the bus. Yep. They were very excited for a field trip, I think. I think so. What did you think of the farm there, Dusty? Oh, boy. The IMDb rating is a little generous. You think so? I would agree. Well, there's a lot of problems I have. The biggest problem I have is that there's no real...
You got to give me more than just that. You know what I mean? Yeah, so the one thing that was, were they making food for another group of 80... or were they making food for unsuspecting wedding party? Because do you remember the part where he had the phone call? Yeah. And he said, what? You found a tooth in your casserole. Yeah.
oh, I'll let the chef know, that's not our standards. We're willing to give you 10% off your next order. Yeah, yeah. So were they people that were cannibals that were ordering from this farm, or were they just unsuspecting people they were feeding?
Human meat, too. I think they were probably unsuspecting people. I like to think so. Yeah, I mean, that makes it... That makes it a little more interesting. Yeah. Because, you know, if you're a cannibal and you find a tooth in your mashed potatoes, that kind of... That was a fresh one. Well, do you like finding bones in your fish? I don't know.
I don't think so. No, probably not. So it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. Well, at least you know it's not processed. Oh, God, a tooth. I don't want to eat a tooth. Maybe they did. I don't know. Toops are disgusting. You know how filthy the human mouth is? It's yellow. Look at it. Stupid. It's not a good movie, Dusty. There are way too many plot holes. If they could have filled in a little more story on this, you know, give me, let me, show me like some pictures of past presidents on the wall.
that have frequented or knew about this. Make it interesting. Some kind of a conspiracy situation or, you know, just having these silent dudes with animal masks. I need more than that. Make it a fucking... Give somebody actual horns coming out of their head. Make it like a demon thing or something. Yeah, that would make it way better. But it was...
There was that. There was the long stretches of just monotonous farm activities. A lot of people in animal mass just walking around. It's creepy, I know. Also, I'm not a huge fan of horror movies that take place entirely in the daylight. I get it. You save a lot of money on lighting if you do it that way. But you could do a lot more at night. You know what I mean? Make it creepy.
Yeah, there was not one creepy part about this thing. The guy under the bed, maybe. But what the fuck are you doing staying in that place to begin with? No. I'm not tired enough. I will never be tired enough. To sleep in that cabin. No, I'll sleep in the fucking car. Yeah. Better yet, you drive. I'll sleep for a little while. There you go. Done. Straight off. We're home in time for Jeopardy, babe. Get the fuck out of here. It's a bad movie, but if we have piqued your curiosity,
You can find it streaming on Tubi as we speak. I'm going to tell you to skip it because you don't need this in your life. That's just my opinion. Did you have anything else you wanted to add on the form? No, that was about it. That's all I have to say about that. Would you recommend this movie? No. Negative. No, yeah, I didn't think so. Maybe for somebody you didn't like. Well, maybe if you... No. I was going to say maybe to a younger viewer, because...
But there is that scene with the baby. With the baby, yeah. So there's a... No, I'm not... No, I don't think of anybody that I would show this to or recommend this to. Maybe a person that was going into... film school sure and said hey watch this piece of shit yeah they got you know paid for
Bought and paid for. Funded, yeah. Funded. Distributed. So it gives them a little bit of confidence. Sure. Thinking, well, shit, I can beat this piece of shit. See, that is the question I always have to ask. How the fuck did this get made? You got me. So, okay. We made a movie. Not a good one. I fully admit that. But we did make a movie.
and you know we started with a script and we fucking we got people involved and people read the script and they got behind it that's a good idea let me help and then things kind of spitballed from there How does anybody read this script and think, oh, yeah, that's money in the bank, baby? I have no idea. How does the director, after this is done, look back and think, this is my masterpiece? No.
They can't. I don't understand. If you're proud of this... I mean, I get that studios get involved and they want changes made after the fact and sometimes that fucks things up. I think that's what happened with Tom Cruise's Mummy. that everybody hates except for me. Well, they poured so much money into the damn thing, too. That, too. But for a production this small...
There is no studio. It's an independent movie. So what the fuck? All right. I'm going off on a rant here. Let's take us a little break and let cooler heads prevail, Dusty. Sounds good. Hey, inmates. If you like what you hear, head over to the Padded Room Facebook group and support us through the patron link with a small monthly donation. Check out the T-Villain link at paddedroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts.
Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show. And we are back, Dusty. Yes, sir. I don't know about you, but I'm getting hungry. Getting hungry. Yeah, all those, you know, that bacon cheeseburger we saw. I could eat. Yeah, I'm getting a little peckish. This is usually the time of the show where we get into the Terra Dome, senor. No tears, please.
It's a waste of good suffering. I'm not gonna hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence. I said, I'm not gonna hurt you. I'm just gonna bash your brains in. I'm gonna bash him right the fuck in. I'll kill you all. I'll try to be crazy and I'll kill you all. I'll be right back. Where has a dream come true? Six-year-old child with this blind, pale, emotional face. The blackest eyes. The devil's eyes.
To the Pterodome. This week's matchup, getting right into the semifinal rounds, we are in the Inferno Conference round 13. As usual, inmates, bear with me, I'm not much of a writer. The road out of Haddonfield was never ending. Lori had no immediate plans for leaving the small town, but after the events of Halloween night, she had no choice. Her long-lost brother that she never knew she had came back, escaping incarceration and cutting a bloody swath through her family and friends.
Michael was hell-bent on killing the one family member that he had eluded him, Lori. He was behind her now, but she couldn't stop yet. That's why she had to keep moving. Somewhere along the forgotten highway that connects Georgia and Florida, she sees something. A hulk of a man in a dusty trench coat loading bloody sheets into a storm drain. He sees her seeing him. Another pursuit begins.
A rusted out milk truck with vanity plates reading beating you. Damn near runs her off the road into some brush. She quickly changes direction and destination. She's going back to Haddonfield. We have The Creeper versus Michael Myers there, Dusty. What do you think of that one? Well, my heart is with Michael Myers. Even after Halloween ends? We're not even including these. They're not even in my realm. They don't exist to me. They're dead to me. I agree. I agree with you.
Pretend they don't exist. Yeah, that's kind of my stance on it. You know, you guys always talking about your aerial assaults. He's got fucking wings, bro. And how does he die? I mean, that's another thing, too. He doesn't. He doesn't. You can pin him. You pin him to the barn door. That's about it. With that crazy harpoon cannon.
homemade thing. I just don't think that... I don't think that Michael could kill him. I don't think he can. That's my logic behind it. I don't think he can be killed, but I don't know that Michael Myers can be killed either. I know. So that's... What are you going to do? Good luck with that, buddy. Yeah, that's going. That's going. I've got to take the creeper because he's my guy in this year's tournament. Yeah, I guess. Give me the creeper. That a boy, Dusty.
Somebody wants to keep his job around here. That's right. I'm a yes man. Yes, you are. Love that about you. Inmates, you're going to actually have about three weeks to get me these votes because I'm going to take... Christmas Eve and New Year's Eve off. They both fall on Tuesdays, which is normally the day that we record here in the Padded Room.
Don't worry, I am going to drop some bonus material on you, probably both of those days, but it won't be the regular show. It'll be some of the Patreon content. So consider that matchup for the next three weeks, and have a Merry Christmas, will ya? I know you're going to stay up late at night thinking about the Creeper battling Michael Myers. And let's not let that ruin your holidays, all right? Let's have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I do have a...
A query about said creeper. Yes, sir. I'm not the greatest speller in the world. Okay. But I always thought his plate said... Be eating you. That's what you find out at the end of the book. Okay, but you said be eating you. So if you remember, Justin Long and... That hot chick. I forget her name. They go through the whole movie saying license plates beating you. That's right, yeah. And then at the end, she goes, it's not beating you. It's be eating you. It's be eating you. Yeah, okay. Now...
I like that movie. Don't get me wrong. But do you see the creeper standing in line at the DMV to get vanity plates? No. No. Me neither. Number 157. Fuck. 178. Wings fly out. Excuse me, sir. There'll be none of that. All right, inmates, while you're contemplating that matchup over the next three weeks, we're going to tell you what movies we got to watch in a little segment called What Are You Looking At?
What are you looking at? Have you ever heard of a movie called Deathcember? I have not. It is a horror Christmas anthology. Okay. Like all horror anthologies, there's some good ones and some bad ones in there. They're all Christmas themed.
I'm pretty hit and miss with most of these. I mean, there's some pretty silly shit in there. For example, there's one about two young ladies having their first lesbian experience on an ice rink with... ice skates on and because one of them overreacts they end up killing each other completely accidentally Overreacts in the throes of passion, per se. Okay, now let me broach this topic to you. Uncontrollable leg spasms whilst orgasming? You're a hot young lady, and you just came out of a...
Christmas party you got a couple of shots in you you decide to take your quote unquote best friend ice skating alone at night on a on a pond and You decide that this would be a good time to express your gay love to her. How would you go about doing that? I dream. I agree. Let me tell you how this one chose. You can't go wrong with a little...
you know, tune in Tokyo. That's pretty much where we went, except there wasn't tune in Tokyo. She just straight busted a tit out and went in with her mouth. Oh, okay. Which... understandably caused the other one to freak right the fuck out. That's happened to me before. I mean, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down. Now, if I'm... First off, if Buddy decides he wants to invite me ice skating and I get... First...
I can't ice skate. I'm a grown-ass man. Why are we going ice skating, buddy? And then we get there, and we're the only ones there? No. No. I don't know what we're doing, but I'm not interested. Now, if out of nowhere he tries to suck my dick, and I'm not saying he would or wouldn't. I'm going to have a bit of a whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa there, fella. You know what I mean? Yeah.
But in a very stupid way, like one girl gets knocked down. The other one tries to skate away and ends up going over her fingers. And then she's like, ah, and then she freaks out. And then like a skate comes up and her face goes into it somehow. It's very silly. It's a, what do you call those? The mousetrap game. Pretty much, yeah. Way to die. Through a series of weird... Unfortunate events. Yes, with a lesbian nipple tweak on it. Rube Goldberg device of death.
That's what it is, man. It's fine. It felt very much like ABCs of death. because all of the little segments are only like a minute, minute and a half long, so they're just rocketing through them. I watched that. I revisited Krampus. That's a Christmas classic.
Finally got my wife to watch it. Normally, she refuses to watch anything that I watch because she just assumes. That was not bad. No, I liked it. It's funny. It's got some really funny stuff. Oh, I love the freaking cousin or uncle. Oh, yeah. Yeah. David Kegner. Yeah. He's great. Oh, yeah, with his fucking street sweeper in his monster truck. Yeah. I watched that. And lastly, I watched a movie called All Eyes. Have you heard of this one? Have you heard of a movie called...
Home with a View of the Monster? Yes. It's the same guys that made that movie. This one is pretty good. It's about a podcaster who gets caught up in this scandal and has to relinquish his podcast and his whole...
All of his listeners, his feed goes dark. But he comes up with this idea to kind of get himself back in the game. He gets a letter from a guy with a $25,000 check. And to go... get him to sign that he has to go to his small town to get him to sign the check and supposedly there's a monster there that is like just got 50,000 eyes eyeballs and it just peers at him what he finds out is that the monster is not really part of the equation but the guy that sent him the check
is batshit crazy. And it all kind of comes to a head at the end, because the crazy guy has booby-trapped his house, and comes home drunk, and one of his booby traps kills him, and now the podcaster guy is stuck in the booby-trapped... house and he doesn't know how to disarm any of the traps and the traps are really bananas
There's like AK-47s just come out of the ceiling and start rattling off. It's a pretty good show. It's made by the Greenlee brothers, same guys that did Home of the View of the Monster, which I really enjoyed. It's worth a watch. Okay. It's almost more of a horror comedy. What's that one on? I found it on Tubi. Tubi, okay. Yeah, worth checking out. And that's all I'm looking at, amigo. What do you got? Well...
Like I said, the kid had a thousand screaming girls in my house, so it was hard to watch anything. Lock that out? Yeah, I would imagine. You get two of them together, and it's probably about... 30 decibels, right? Oh, yeah. You get 14 of them together. It's pretty much a dull roar with spurts of squeals and screams. Oh, yeah.
The same song over and over, sung out of key. Because that's my song. Oh, God. Okay. So, yeah, this is what I'm listening to. Okay. So I told the wife, I said, we can't watch anything. Yeah. I haven't seen because I won't be able to hear it. Well, you can't focus. So, anyway, we watch Scrooge. Okay. In the loft. So, at least I can memorize the lines that nobody's fucking saying because I've seen it 200 times. Right. Watch Scrooge.
And then we did the first episode of the new Dexter show. Okay. We like it. It's good so far. It's early to tell, but Christian Slater plays his dad. Nice. And the kid that plays Dexter is fucking spot on. Looks just like Michael C. Hall. Yeah, exactly. And Michael C. Hall is his inner narrator in his head. Okay.
Very cool. That was good. And then we watched Smile 2. Okay. And we both really dug it. You liked it better than the first one? Oh, way better. Okay. Yeah. Cool. It was good. In terms of that. Actress. acted her fucking ass off. And it was, you know, you think about it, the smile demon being attached to someone like Lady Gaga, Miley Cyrus, or something like that. And you can kind of telegraph kind of what's going to happen. but it was good. Some of the kills were freaking gnarly. Thanks.
It was good. We dug it, and that's on Paramount right now. Right on. And then we also watched, this was a couple weeks back, but I remembered it from last time, Heretic with Hugh Grant. I remembered it because it's actually on Prime now, but it's $20. That's a really good movie, too. Okay. Hugh Grant plays a great bad guy. His acting chops in this one, and he's got the same...
calm British demure about him. Yeah. But he's just a fuckhead, you know? And it's like, he's, he's fucking you and you're don't know what he's fucking. Yeah. Because he's so proper. Oh, sure. And concise with. With all of his questioning. Yeah, yeah. So it's really good. Okay. Yeah, I look forward to that one. It's a good one. And then we are watching...
Creature Commandos. We were talking about it. Yeah, yeah. We were not. My wife will not watch that. Why not? She thinks I'm a fucking nerd. Oh, come on. You're watching cartoons, you fucking dork. Okay. All right. Yes, I am. Anyway, I take it. that kind of abuse. My wife won't even come in the room if I have a movie on. Let me know when that's done. I want to talk to you. All right, sweetie. But yeah, that's good. I liked it. Yeah, it is a good show.
Monsters, basically. It's the same situation as a Suicide Squad thing, but they send in the Task Force M for monster. It's good. Yeah, it's animated. It's on Max right now. It's basically like a... Paramilitary group comprised entirely of the Bride of Frankenstein. A weird flaming skeleton guy. Dr. Phosphorus. Dr. Phosphorus, a weasel guy. That keeps licking his own balls. I really like G.I. Robot.
I do too. He's my favorite. Are there Nazis? Can I kill them? Yes, you may. Would you like to be my friend and kill Nazis together? Yes, I would. Yeah, it's a good show. Despite the animation, I would... I would say it's probably not 100% kid-friendly. There's a lot of sex in it. It's not kid-friendly at all. I mean, probably not. Well, maybe my kids. My kids are savages. It's probably geared towards the...
13 to 17 year old boy, which fits right in my wheelhouse. Yeah, me too. That weird prepubescent kind of, why do I have a boner? Yeah, exactly. Right on. That's it, buddy. All righty. Let's get into some immersion therapy. Speaking of boners. Hey-yo. Hey-yo. Immersion Therapy. The substance, Dusty. Oh boy. Holy bejesus.
I didn't know we were going to do that. I knew where we were going, but I didn't know we were going that far with it. Holy shit. It's a good show. I don't want to ruin it for anybody that hasn't seen it, but it's very much... It felt very much like a David Cronenberg movie. Yes, all the body horror. Body horror, totally. But it was actually directed by the same chick that made Revenge.
Okay. Which kind of plays into like the color palette. You've seen Revenge, right? Yeah. They throw off the cliff and somehow she still survives. Impales herself. Impales on a tree and she comes back and kills him. Like sutures herself shut with a... beer can and uh gives herself a god damn that chick was hot uh yeah matilda lutz i believe whoo um
I mean, that kind of makes sense. You know, like looking at the color palette of this movie. The bright sets of the workout video. Who sells workout fucking videos anymore? Yeah. Not only that, but like launches it into a whole New Year's Eve. spectacular exactly when's the last time you saw a workout celebrity host the ball drop or whatever. I don't think that has ever happened in the history of humankind. Maybe. I don't know. Dennis Quaid played a right prick too, didn't he? Holy cow.
Yeah, he's a son of a bitch. And he looked like a son of a bitch. Oh, yeah. It was weird seeing him in Pandorum last week where he's like... Dennis Quaid. And now, I mean, I guess it's pretty close to, it's actually over 10 years apart. Right. So it makes sense that he looks that way. But, yeah, with the weird suits and all that shit. Ugh. Yep. That kept getting the...
I bet that's how those fuckers are really in Hollywood. Probably. From the wife. Wouldn't surprise me. I was like, well, that's probably why she made the movie like that. Yeah. Demi Moore. I'm going to give her the padded room stamp of approval. Amen. I would say still bangable. Very. I don't know that I wanted to see her naked, though. You know what I mean? Yeah, she lives in a place in your brain from, you know, striptease days. Let's just stay there, because that is really hot, and this is...
Like a substitute teacher fantasy thing going on. Yeah. The other chick, though. Holy cow. Wow. That was something. I don't know where she came from, but I'd like to go there with her. I think she's like the Sidney Sweeney knockoff or something. Okay. I don't know. It seemed like a role that would be suited for...
Her. Totally. But I don't know what else she's been in. I didn't do IMDB or anything. Me neither. Hopefully she's got an OnlyFans or something like that. Well, you don't even need one. Just watch a movie. No, that's true. Yeah. I'll do the research and get back to you. Okay. The ending. Very... Have you ever seen a movie called Society? I don't... It's like this rich, weird...
And at the end, they all kind of get this flesh meld orgy thing going on. It's very greasy and gross. Very similar to that, just with the blood. Like, the very end, when... Well, I don't want to get into it because I don't want to ruin it for anybody that hasn't seen it. But the very end when her face is... Scooting along. And then, yeah.
I'm tap dancing around this because I don't want to ruin it because I know it's still new. But holy shit, man. Well, the moral of the story is so the dumb fucking... Follow instructions. Exactly. Follow the instructions. Follow directions. I get it. It would be... difficult to jump back into that. For a week! I know. No, I know. But if you're out there and you're...
you know, living your best life and bringing home these hot dudes or chicks or whatever, why would I want to get back into this saggy fucking milksack? For a week. I would do it for a week. Sit down, watch episodes of... Sure. You know, scrubs for a week. I don't know. Yeah. I don't know. Don't leave the house. Yeah. You got basically a dead body on the floor. Yeah.
Okay, let's get it off the floor, prop it up somewhere. Well, she made her a nice little behind-the-wall thing. Yeah, it's a deal. I don't see her doing that, but all right. That's one thing I had, and I was talking to...
The wife, I said, what the fuck? Did she become Bob Vila now? I know. She knows how to build secret passages in her. It was pristine. Yeah, it was great. It had a secret. It was tight joints. No, I can't do that. I couldn't build one of those. No, I'd have it like duct taped up. put like caution tape don't go in here yeah I'd just slide a fucking bookcase over and say oh yeah just put a sheet over it do not open till Christmas that's stupid
Right on. Your immersion therapy for this week, inmates, is going to be In a Violent Nature from 2023. You can check this out on Shudder as we speak. I think you're going to enjoy this one. You've got three weeks to check it out. Get back to us. Let us know what you thought. The mental health hotline is area code 775-378-0275 or get us on the regular old email. Just go to paddedroompodcast.com. Find out all that shit there. You're going to love it.
In the meantime, I think it's time for a little Who's Your Daddy, Dusty. Right on. Who is Daddy? First, my clues from last week. I am a death row inmate, and I've got about six hours left to live. I'm probably not getting out of here, but the good news is that the court appointed a psychiatrist to come and interview me. Make sure I'm mentally...
fit to be executed. This is my chance. I can either convince this guy that I'm a raving lunatic and I need mental help or I can tell him what really happened and get my story out there. Our story out there. I am, of course, nefarious, Dusty. You seen this one? Oh, yeah. It's a pretty good show. Oh, yeah. I really liked it a lot. Me, too. Sean Patrick Flanagan. Yeah. Acted his ass off. Oh, yeah. And to tell that story, really, we don't leave that interview chamber.
During the entire movie. No, that's what's so cool about it. Yeah. We're talking about original ideas, and that's a totally original. It's great. I really liked it. I did, too. I think it's presently streaming on Tubi also, if anybody's interested.
Alan got me. Tom Hardy is kicking himself right now because I know he's seen that movie. He just didn't want to do it. And Tim had it also, but he put the wrong title in. So, sorry about that, Tim. Who might I be this week, you ask? Well... I am a very attractive young medical student, Dusty.
I also might be a bit of a psychopath because the empathetic nature of the doctor breaking the bad news to the families, that seems completely lost on me. And I might just be seeing these people as... you know scientific experiments and things to be fixed and things like that uh bad news i can't seem to pay for my classes anymore worst news i got invited to a party and got raped fuck
Well, that sucks also. I got to get these bills paid. I'm going to go try and get a job at the strip club because I am an attractive young lady when another career opportunity will open up to me and I will take it and I will... Definitely revisit the people that I... My new party friends, so to speak. Sure. And there will be... Some bad things. You motherfuckers tune in in a couple of weeks and I'll drop some knowledge on you.
In the meantime, I think that's about going to do it for us here in the padded room. Thank you guys very much for joining us. Hope everybody has a Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, Happy Holidays. All that stuff. Join me, us, in three weeks. We're going to have a whole new year of shit planned out, and I will drop the bomb when we reconvene. Dusty, you got anything else on the year?
Thanks for having me. Yeah, of course, dude. Happy New Year and Merry Christmas. Absolutely. In the meantime, for Buddy in Absentia, Chuck in Absentia, all of the Padded Room family over the years who've come and gone, Dusty, of course. Fucking people that medical students, they can't pay their bills and have to do some really weird shit to get that handled. I guess people meet farms and their employees. be it understaffed or milk milking the.
I don't know what you're doing, man. I don't care, to be honest with you. The monotonous duties of poor human farm employees. Yeah, and how dirty they can be. Imagine the smell of that place. And the padded room. I'm afraid visiting hours are over. How much does it cost to park Santa's sleigh? Nothing, it's on the house.