That's not it's like... The Padded Room Radio is back in your ear holes. My name is Darien, I have returned for another week of horrible shit just for you. Because you asked for it and I'm going to give it to you and I don't care if you change your mind. I'm already here I've already committed to the project. Buddy is back in the house. Yeah! Is everybody is going home! I was a little worried about you today man. Yeah, that weather out there is something else.
Dude dude dude, I get home, it's hot, it's sunny, it's beautiful. I start taking the pool cover off for the kids so we can all go in the pool with a cloth for a hot second. Boom! Dirtual downpour. I know, it's crazy. Like fucking Buddy's driving his motorcycle in firmly. I got a warning. Yeah, hit their first sign, the new one is expected. Okay. Yeah, it's something else. 13 seconds after I finish my text message with you, fucking golf ball size ham.
Yeah. Buddy's going to get killed on the way to the stupid podcast. Right. Yeah. Then you made it in though man. Oh yeah, of course. Right on. What's new with you? What are we missing the last two? Let's see, I got paid now. Oh yeah, yeah. So I guess I do work there. Yeah, yeah. I'm not worried about that too. Oh no, right. Yeah, then my third check really weird. I didn't get, I was supposed to be automatic deposit. Well, it didn't show up at my house either. I'm like, what the, what's going on?
And then all of a sudden I get to work. It shows up at work. And then it has my home address. And then of course my boss is checked. He doesn't even have like, you know, the, it's paperless. Right. So he doesn't get anything. Well his stuff showed up at work too. Well, what is going on here? So we're reaching out and all that stuff. But yeah, last two weeks, it's been crazy. See, I had meeting the first week I was gone.
And then last week we had a door situation where we couldn't walk the building. So I got stuck there. Awesome. And now, now I'm back. You know, this rain, it's like I stopped me from coming. I hope not. But I don't want you to get killed either. Right. That would be a very stupid way to die. Right. I was racing towards Reno on my Harley World Horror Movie Podcast. Just putting all my head still. Yeah. Right on, man. Well, it's good to have you back. Yeah, thanks. It's been going on with you.
Well, you know, just the usual shit went to a lot of things. It's so cool. Shit went to a six year old dance recital. My daughter is a dance recital this weekend. That's awesome. Cute is a button. Oh, yeah. She's on stage for all of three and a half minutes. Yep. Worth every penny of the $600 plus dollars that I had to spend. A flageo. Lessons. Reading up to it. The fucking skirt dress tutu thing is you have to wear. Plus hair and makeup. Yeah. Plus I got to get up at 6.30 in the morning.
To get her over there for rehearsals and all that shit. Oh, yeah. Three and a half minutes, man. I know. Stupid. Whatever. Whatever. She enjoyed it. That's all it matters. And you enjoyed it too. I got a little teary. Oh. I'll be honest with you. I went in there. Oh, tough complaining. Oh, we couldn't do this at noon. It's fucking bullshit. As soon as I saw her come out on stage. That's right. It's my honor to be. I love her so much. I love her. I love her so much. That's awesome.
Oh, I'm a big pussy. Well, we got a horror show to do here, buddy. Yeah. We got horror news. Listen to her mail. All the fun stuff I say. We do it. Like we always do. With a little horror news coming at us. Yeah. Horror news. Horror news. What you got, big guy? Horror croff from Tomb Raider. Now joins dead by daylight on July 16th. Yeah. Ready for that one? I am. I bet she's going to have some sexy outfits. Oh, man. No kidding. I like that. So she's got three perks.
Okay. One's finesse that activates while you're healthy with your fast vaults. 20% faster. Okay. Hardened activates after you unlock a chest and cleanse or bless a totem. All right. And then specialist where each time you open a rummage through a chest, you gain one token. Okay. And then of course, when you do a great skill check on a generator, all tokens are consumed, reducing the maximum required generator, progress. Yeah. That's her little special abilities.
You played a lot so I don't know what he that means. I think that last one might pay off. So the cool thing is once you get your survivor to a certain level, it unlocks those perks for all the other survivors. So I might take Ash from Evil Dead and give him that last one. Oh, okay. The generator. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Right on. That's cool. I'll be into that. Well, no more Cryptkeeper. EC Comics reveals new horror hosts for this year's revival. No, what is it now?
Gone are the Cryptkeeper, the old witch and the Vaultkeeper. Being replaced by new hosts for new generation. Okay. The Rapp reveals in their exclusive report today, the three hosts designed by artist Dustin Weaver, are the Grave Digger, the Tormenter, and the Grim and Quizzator. Yeah. Sounds like a sex move. Oh, yeah. Does the Mentus girl give her the Grim and Quizzator? Yeah. She's not returning my calls. That's right. She's not getting out of bed either.
No. Well, no, it's for our two trailers out there. I don't know if you got a chance to check out that trailer, but it looks pretty dope. I did. It looks good. Yeah. I love the way it started. I don't know if I like the end of that teaser. Robert Eggers from the Witch in the Lighthouse, doing this with Bill Scarsgard as Count Orlock. Yeah. I got what I wanted out of it. I was hoping for a very dark, gothic kind of a deal. And not reveal too much. Yeah, I don't want to see him yet. I don't know.
That was close. I thought they were going to do it there. I don't know, dude. My biggest fear is that they basically just turn him back into Pennywise for this. I'm not into that. You got to have the big fingers, the big stupid head. I'm into it. Yeah, yeah. So Nostro Alto will be releasing theaters for Christmas December 25th this year. I'm into it. Yes. I'm ready. Now some really exciting news. It's time for Funko News. Oh, you're a motherfucker. Kurt Russell's Mac Ready from the thing.
Finally gets his own fun toy. You didn't have one? No. Oh, do you got a picture of it? No. No, I decided not to take it. Usually I do, but I... I'm not a Funko guy. But if that fucking... I mean, there's that. Oh, he's got to have the Sombrero on. Yeah. He's got to have the Sombrero and the goggles. That's the only way I want JP McReady. And also regarding Funko News. The damage Megan Toys, part of their Funko Fusion line. Because where are the games coming out for Funko Fusion?
So they decide to put out her. Okay. Yeah, it's a little damaged... Sure. Ordeal. Sure. Yeah. I got a couple of those Funko Fusion games. Yeah? Yeah, I got the Batman ones. Oh, okay. Yeah. Their heads bubble around. No, it's... It's just a board game with those Funko guys as the little pieces. Oh, okay. Is this all a boils down to? No, that's interesting. But I guess if you buy like three or four of them, you can lock them together so Batman can fight Indiana Jones or something.
Wow. Is that how it goes? I don't know. I only got the Batman ones. Okay. All right. Well, that's all I got. What do you got? Hey, now, Universal Orlando has detailed plans for a dark universe theme park. So this has nothing to do with the failed dark universe that they were trying to do with the mummy. You're right. Although it would be cool. Unfortunately, you, all people, shout all over it. Now we're never going to know. You'd be like Indiana Jones, right?
Disneyland accepted be the mummy and tall trees would be rid of your app. Yeah. All right. The fuck out of it, buddy? Love it. Every chance I get. That's right. There is some concept art up. Nothing concrete as far as like construction or anything like that. But it looks cool. Yeah. It's going to be based on the original Universal Pictures Universal Monsters. That sounds cool. So that will be very cool. Yeah. Charlize Theron is confirmed as Pamela Voorhees in A24's musical lake.
Yes. Okay. So a couple of thoughts. Number one, A24. What kind of weird artsy-fartsy spinner are they going to put on this? Number two, Charlize Theron. Great actress. Maybe a little too good for a crystal lake situation. Yeah, but she can get ugly. She can. We've seen it. Oh, yeah. We saw Monster. I'm going to say I have high hopes for this. Yes. But at the same time, I feel like they might just screw it up. Yeah. They might A24's and put some kind of artsy-fartsy spinner on it.
And make Jason like a sexually confused fucking crackhead or something. I don't know, man. Yeah. I don't know, man. Yeah. I never know with these people. Yeah. I'm in the same boat. All right. Well, we'll observe judgment. It could be kickass. I hope so. Robert England and John Carpenter are both getting stars on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. Yes. I saw that too. I'm sure there's going to be a role-deserved. A homeless guy camped out on both of them by the time they get them into the concrete.
Seriously, have you been to LA recently? No. The Hollywood Walk of Fame is a ten city. It's just disgusting. You know, I hope it would be really cool if he could use like the Freddie Glove on there. That would be awesome. Yeah, that would be. Robert England and then the... Yeah, that'd be cool. What else we have here? Lastly, we have the monkey. A new Stephen King horror movie is dated for February 20, 2025 release. Does this have anything to do with monkey shines?
No, monkey shines was a George Romero movie. Okay. So the monkey was a short story. I believe in skeleton crew. And it's about a toy... One of those toy wind up monkeys. Oh, yeah. Bings. Yeah, yeah. Every time it clings, somebody dies. Oh. And this kid realizes that... Because he thinks he's just got a defective toy monkey. But then out of nowhere, it just clings once and his uncle dies. And then a couple of weeks go by and then it clings again and his mom dies. Time to get rid of that monkey.
Yeah, get rid of that fucking monkey. There was another movie that came out that was loosely based on this. I think it was came out in the early 80s. I want to say it was called the Devil's Toy or something like that. Huh. I will investigate that right now or sometimes soon and let you know for sure. But I don't want to bog this fucking show down while I Google shit, buddy. Right? Right! So with that being said, that's all we have on the horror news. I think it's time for some Mr. Male.
Let me go. Yeah. Listener, male. Yes, sir. Let's start things off on the email line. All right. All the way from Sydney, Australia. Hey, Tim! It's our main man, Tim. Team. How's it going, Tim? Hello, team. Uh, subject line. Hey, good looking. He's talking to you. No, he's talking to you. No, he's talking to you. No, he's talking to you. No, no, no. Hey, sexy man and maybe buddy as well. See? That's right. I like that much. How are we this week? Hope everything is good and great for you guys.
My week was a busy one. I hosted a party which was Viking theme. Ooh. And through a huge barbecue, which I started cooking at 5.30 a.m. and finished at 6 p.m. that night. Why? We had many drinks and more meat and now I'm still exhausted. I'm coming up to my 40s in a few years and can't drink like I used to. But anyway, enough about me. Let's do the meat hook. Number one. What was the last week's... Speaking of meats. Where is the meat hook?
Last week's meat hook was worst places to work in a horror movie. Tim says number one, babysitter in Halloween. Yeah, those checks are usually pretty hot but they don't... their life expectancy is like 17 and 3 quarters before they get killed. Not only do you have to protect yourself but the kids you're looking after. Number two, security guard in cabin in the woods. Oh, that's nasty. You don't want to be that guy. No. He gets fucked up.
Those guys get fucked up by unicorns, merman, people with saw blades in their heads. Just a menagerie. Oh yeah. That fucker of... A giant snake if I recall. Yeah, bad business. Number three, a police officer in the last shift because she's all alone and that's lonely. That's a bad movie. That's a great movie. Yeah, but that's a bad place to be. I would freak myself out in there even without all the craziness. Did you hear that? What is that? Come out of here! Whatever you're done, will!
I'll watch the building from my car in the part of that. That's right. Maybe across the street. I don't know. I'm not standing by. Exactly. Oh, wait, I am a cop! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Cut! Now for the tarot dome. Unfortunately for the creature from the Black Lagoon, this one is easy. Dr. West is smarter and I think would be able to use his brain better than the creature strength. That's it for me this week. Love you all ways. Be good now.
You hear, team. Thanks, Tim. Right now. Thanks for writing it. I'm going to go with Herbert West. I think this is going to be a blowout. I think it is too, man. That creature looks cool, but he doesn't do shit. No, just wreck things. He doesn't need to mess his up your furniture, really. Yeah, it's like a fishman temper tantrum. Pretty much! Yeah, I mean, I get it. He's horny and he wants to get on top of your girlfriend. Just take it easy. Maybe shoot her an email or something.
All right, we got some voicemails coming in here. All right. All right, let's kick this off with our main man in Alabama. Allyson, how? Hey, what's going on, Alan? What's up, padded room? What's up, padded room? So, last week's week of 60's horror. I'm going to go witch find your funeral. Oh, that's a good one. Black Sunday. And number one, night of living dead. Of course. This week's worst place to work. I'm going to go number one. Camp Crystal Lake. Yeah. Number two. Um, um, S-Mart.
And number three, uh, over look hotel. Okay. Uh, the sleep chair, don't. I'm going to go with Herbert West. Yeah. And Mr. Darian, are you Renfield? I am. Hope everybody's doing good. Uh, let's see. This week, we went and solved a new stranger's. Okay. How was it? Oh, really? The kid fell asleep. Oh. He ran on her tendle. Oh. And, um, yeah, it was just not good. It was a little too slow. A little too slow. A little too slow. A little too slow. A little too slow. Do tactical errors.
Uh, then the next day, we went and solved ghost concert movies. Oh, very cool. That was definitely worth going to. Nice. A lot of fun. Um, I'll talk to you later. Have a good one. Bye. You too. All right. We're right on. He makes a good point about Camp Crystal Lake. Uh, hmm. Except that I would, I would, I would probably take a job there. I know I'm going to get laid. Yeah. There. I'm in. I'm already in.
And if you think about like the pantheon of horror movie killers, you could do a lot worse than Jason. Oh, yeah. Jason kill you fast. You know, same thing with Michael Myers. You might not even see Jason. You just, you know, you just, you're in your refractory period and you catch an arrow through the neck from underneath the mattress. Right. You're all right. You're done. You're done. And you didn't even know because you just finished on, uh, uh, Mary's boots. So yeah, die happy.
Hey, all right. I don't know. Uh, right on. Alan, thanks for calling in, man. Uh, he got me. I was in fact, Renfield. Well done, sir. Let's get out to Anderson, Indiana. Here comes Coop, Nukum. Hey, what's going on? Hey, Darin. Buddy, if you made it, what's going on, Coop? Um, just making this call for the three on a meet, huh? Okay. You got the, uh, you said the worst, uh, employers in a horror movie. Yes, sir. Um, man, uh, hot, there's been a ton. I'm going to say first and foremost, Darin.
Yeah. We both know he working for the US government in the military in any horror movie. He always seems to be like a really bad decision. I mean, even if you're not in horror, that's, yeah. So that, that right there is going to be my number one. Okay. Number two, I'm going to put, um, put me down for the, uh, uh, oh, the company, I can't remember what the name they went by, but in that, that movie from the video game Doom, they was, do, had the rock in it. Oh, God, that was terrible.
Well, they're doing experiments and crap. Yeah. Um, and then, uh, number three, I'm going to go with, uh, what is it, uh, um, bro, a corporation from the... Okay. Rather than evil. Yeah. Sure. Anyway. So I have, um, oh, and I'm just a third out there on the shutter. There was this, uh, I think it's Korean ex-X-Xuma. I've seen what it's called. Yeah, yeah. Pretty good. Oh, I recommend checking it out. I'm going to flirt with it. I'll talk to you later. Bye. Okay. Right on.
Thanks for calling in, Koop. You know, I feel like, uh, for a shitty as the umbrella corporation is, I feel like they'd have a good 401k package. Yeah. Uh, some decent benefits. I don't know what the time-off situation looks like, but it looks like a solid corporate structure, you know? Yeah. If you could get in, like, in the mail room, like, far away from the laboratories or something like that.
Yeah. I'll drive a bus or, uh, you know, like, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, I don't want to transport, like, any of those experiments. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. But I'll pick people up and drop them off for the umbrella corporation. Yeah. I wouldn't want to work near that laser room. Yeah. And I don't want to work too far deep deep in the ground. No. I get claustrophobic. I know, because it's something happening. You're stuck there.
Here I am. Yeah. And I got the red queen telling me how we're all going to die down here. All right. All right. No way. I want to speak to a manager. Yeah. Right on, Koop. Thanks for calling in. But, uh, let's get up to Southern California. Here comes Mr. Tom Hardy. Hey, what's up, Tom Hardy? Hi, yo. Hey. Oh. We've had it room. My favorite G-Genre system. We're here. I'm good. Hope everyone is doing well. And Darian, I got you. Hope you had that somebody to talk to. I do. I'm here.
I wanted to get in real quick, uh, on the educate department. You got me. I think that got you. Come on. Sounds like Renfield. You got me. Nice. That's pretty good slick, man. Had a good time with this. Yeah. It's not on real quick. Yeah. Pretty sure you're right, Phil. Sure. On the, uh, what are you looking at? The part in there. What you got? You just get to catch this flick on the Amazon under Paris. Like a, uh, shark flick. Yeah. I heard about it. It had its moment.
Okay. One thing that was kind of pissing me off at the beginning. It's very, very preachy at the beginning. But then it's just, I don't know, let it go. And it's a fuck y'all. Okay. Which, uh, once it did that, I got to say I got more into it. Right on. I don't know. All of it all started with a pretty good flick. Okay. There's a bunch of, I'm sure the man with the biggest balls in Australia is going to say, oh, man, they ripped this part off because it's not hard to draw. It's probably right.
Okay. What the fuck? I'm sure he's still going to watch it. It's got sharks. Oh, yeah. On the, uh, out of the meat hook. Yeah. Up there. The workplace to work. Um, or the work, work locations to work or whatever. Sure. You know, I got a couple here. What do you got? Have to say the umbrella court. Okay. Seems that there's a fucking meltdown like every other day. That's a good point. Yeah. They just say, fuck it. Lock all the, uh, kill everybody in there. We'll figure it out later.
Yeah. That doesn't set. That's good. I'd run over. Also, you don't want to be a counselor and camp crystal late. Again. I know Darian's probably going to argue, hey, man, you're going to get your dick wet. So, yeah, some of them, I guess, and then later in the earlier one, yeah, you get your dick wet and then just get you. But I don't know, man, some of those, some of those later ones, it seems to catch you before you do.
I don't know if you've got a lot of diamonds, but you fucking get your dick cut off. Well, you know, killed while you got a boner. And then the last one has to be the, uh, Wayland, uh, Utanning court. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And you are just a fucking peatry dish for the, you are fuck, you know, they send the one group out. They get killed. They say, fuck it, man. Let's send another group out. Sure. Yeah, I don't know if you have a fuck about it. No, no, no, no, no matter what. That's true.
So, yeah, I'd have to say those be my top three. Okay. Uh, okay. Now on to the terror dome. Yeah, what do you got? From the blackwood lagoon and Herbert wet. Correct. From the animator. GP. I feel like he's going to take creature from the blackwood. That's because he can be a bit of a, uh, you know, he just wants to go against everybody else. That's right. I feel like sometimes I don't know. Let's see what he says. He, mother fucking peed. Oh, hell yeah.
Anyway, as I was saying, I, I love the creature from the blackwood. I don't think it was the best movie of that, you know, universal era. No, I just love the creature from the blackwood. Okay. I love that, you know, he's just underwater critter. Uh-huh. And you can go on land, but fuck it. If you're in the water, that is environment. You're fucked. Sure. And I love that he's in the swamp, I lie. But I don't know. I mean, I guess he's got like super strength. You think so?
And he can breathe underwater. I give you that. I don't know what else the creature from the blackwood can do. I don't not. I don't know. I don't even think he has super strength, too. I think he's just like a strong dude. Like the equivalent of like a strong guy. Not like he's listening to a fucking car. No, I don't know. Oh, my man. But with all that said, I think I got to go logically here. And I think we got to give it to Herbert. Yeah. Thanks.
I don't know how he's going to get through him, but I think he can outsmart the creatures in the blackwoods. Oh, totally. I don't know. Maybe set a trap for him or something like that. Oh, yeah. But put me down for Herbert. You got it. Anyway, hope all is well. I love you like family. And buy them. Love you, too, Tom Hardy. Thanks for calling in. Thanks, Tom Hardy. Yeah, that's a blowout there, buddy. It's like Mermaid having sex with a fish. And that's what you get. He's basically a zombie.
Right? He comes out of the water and he just lumbars around and smashes a bunch of shit. And if you're not lucky enough to, like, be far enough on to dry land, then he throws you into water. And then you're fucked. But other than that, he just kind of staggers around the whole time. I don't know. Right on, Tom Hardy. Thank you for calling in, sir. That is all we have on the little screw mail there, buddy. I also had a vote from Jason Harrell.
He said via the super secret textoso line, put me down for Herbert West this week. You got it, Jason. All right. All right. Buddy, you got anything for Tom Hardy? Alan, Cooper, or Tim, or Jason? Thanks, everybody, for calling and writing it. You guys rock. You know that already? Mm-hmm. It's time for a movie. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh. The high school girl's been murdered. Mr. Harrison's daughter is missing.
And now at the house where she lives, the other girls are getting obscene phone calls. Yeah, what I've done is I've tapped his phone so that when it rings, it'll ring at the station house, too. There was a little girl murdered over in the park tonight. Yes, I heard it. Your phone's ringing. Hello? Hey, mommy. Hey, baby. Baby, don't hurt me. No, no, no. What's that? I know, I know, I know. Mommy. Mommy. Mommy, you want to be my baby. Scram. It's through 140, terminal 55. Oh. Oh.
Oh. Remember those idyllic scenes out of your childhood? And Christmas night star bright, sleigh bells crackling u-logs, candlelight glistening off of shimmering Christmas trees, chestnuts roasting of open fires, candles beneath snow covered windowlegs. Remember those? Remember them well. After black Christmas they'll never be the same again. Black Christmas, starting Olivia Hussey, kid Julei, Margot Kitter, and starting John Saxon as Lieutenant Fuller.
If this movie doesn't make your skin crawl, it's on too tight. Buddy, it's Black Christmas you see from 1974. Yeah. Directed by Bob Clark written by Roy Moore, stars Olivia Hussey, and then he appeared to the A, Margot Kitter, and of course John Saxon. It's one shit, I didn't write it down. It got a lot of stars on IMDB buddy. Seven point one. Seven point one stars, it says Buddy, that's exactly right. Oh daddy, a lot of people like to credit this was starting the Slasher Subgenre.
It didn't technically come before Halloween, but after Peeping Tom. It's got everything you want, the Slasher. Well, almost. Could use a little nudity, be honest with you. But on the internet, it's got everything you want. You're in a sorority house, right? You got the stealth killer lurking about. And the weird sex phone calls going on. That was hilarious. Do you like that? Oh yeah. It was like, oh yeah. Dude, I mean, I'm a voracious masterbater, but I can tone it down. I'm sad.
Normally sound like Arnold Schwarzenegger when I do it. Well, you know what I mean? Well, we start off. We're in a sorority house. And in Canada, I believe Toronto area, 1974, we start off with a Slasher cam. It's Christmas time. And we've got somebody lurking about the outside of the house. They climb up a truss will sneak into the attic. Now inside the house, we have what I believe was the last day of school before. Like a little break. Yeah, like a little gathering just before winter break.
And you know, a lot of the girls are packing their bags and things like that. We meet some of our sorority sisters. We have our typical archetypes of college girls that are about to be thrown into a meat grinder. We've got the alcoholic promiscuous one. That's Barb played by Margot Ketter. We've got the sweet virginal one. That would be Jessica played by Olivia Hussey. And I don't know. I mean, clearly she's not a virgin because we're going to find out in a few minutes that she's pregnant.
We have the nerdy one, Phyllis played by Andrea Martin. Who, if you ask me, buddy, is the hottest chicken this movie? She's the one with the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the glasses. Yeah. nerdy, nerdy, kind of a look to her. I got a thing for chicks with glasses, dude. Maybe. I don't know what my deal is. I love, I love a, uh, intelligent woman. And I realize that glasses doesn't make them intelligent. But to me, it does.
I look at that and I think you're a sexy fucking librarian. Right. Or, um, Catholic school teacher. Oh, well, no, that would be a nun, wouldn't it? I don't know. Anyways, chicks with glasses. I'm into it. Or did that outfit apparently? No, no, no. You got a yardstick behind that. That's right. Who else we got here? We have Claire. She's packing her bags. Getting ready to get up out of there. We have a couple other girls that are just kind of set dressing running around.
Now, everybody's having a good time at this little gathering here. Apparently, they are doing, the girls that are staying behind are doing some kind of a charity event the next day for underprivileged kids. Phyllis's boyfriend is going to play Santa. They're going to come through and sit on Santa's lap and they're going to help them wrap presents and do a bunch of fun shit for them. The times are perpetrator, though, is upstairs lurking about. And this is about the time that the phone rings.
And we get one of these... I would say a fun sex phone call. Yeah. From a weirdo. I mean, it's not like he's threatening to double fist you or anything. He's more, mainly just like grunting. And I would assume he's pleasuring himself. And I'm going to eat your pussy. I got a big juicy caca. The girls are all huddled around going, you know, like Jessica is obviously very disturbed by this. The rest of the girls are kind of like, and then Barb, of course, is like,
tell them, let me talk to them. I'll straighten them right out. They end up hanging up on them eventually. And then Claire excuses. After he finishes. After he finishes. Yeah. Oh, thank you. I'm going to call you back. Yeah. I really appreciate this, ladies. Check his in the mail. Claire excuses herself to go finish packing. She goes upstairs. Now, the layout of this sorority house is kind of weird. It's a three story house with an attic.
Claire's bedroom, apparently, is the only bedroom with attic access. So there's a ladder in her bedroom that goes up to the attic. And that's the only way into her out of the attic from what I gather. Claire's up there getting her bags packed. There's a fucking cat in the house. And he's, you know, prancing about. Claire hears something from the closet. So she's like, oh, Claude, that's the cat. Oh, get out of here. I'm trying to get packed. She goes over there.
And somebody jumps out and suffocates her with a plastic bag. Very scary stuff. Okay. We already have our first body of the movie. Now, we cut to the next day. We're at our charity event where everybody's getting all pissed off at these underprivileged kids. And Barb is already drunk. And the boy friend, Phyllis's boyfriend is there. And he's the bad about enough of these kids also. Claire's dad shows up the next day to pick her up. And she's nowhere to be seen.
Yeah. So Claire's dad is not a lot of fun, I guess. But I wouldn't be either if my daughter was messing. Right. But he looks wildly out of place in this college campus. He goes to the designated spot where he was supposed to pick Claire up. Claire's not there, obviously. So he gets directions to the sorority house. Goes over there. About this time, the house mother of the sorority house comes home. And they call her Mrs. Mack. Her name, I think, was McKinry.
And she is the James Bond of Alcoholics. I would say. Oh, yeah. She's got stashes all over the house. And in some very creative places, she's got like a bottle of hooch in a Bible that she is cut out. Like she's smuggling a gun into a prison type of a thing. She's got another bottle tied to a drawstring. Underneath the commode of the toilet. She's got a couple of bottles in her room, obviously. I would imagine you got to be hammered.
And you live with these fucking bitches on a 24 or seven basis. And you don't want them going through your stash. That's right. They created it. Especially with Barbara in the house. She'll slam it all in one night. Fucking got a takeer to the hospital. Get her stomach pumped. Yeah. Yeah. Got to hide it, man. Spread it out a little bit. She comes home and they're all like, oh, Mrs. Mack, Mary Christmas. Yeah, we got you this dress. You got to try it on. Okay, great.
Mrs. Mack also is getting ready to leave. She's going to see her sister in Florida. So she is also packing her bags. And she's getting that done while all the girls are out of the house at this charity event thing. Now, about this time, we're going to cut to Julia or Jessica. Played by Olivia Hussey. She's our protagonist, I guess. She has got a bit of a weird boyfriend. I don't think she thought of him as a boyfriend. I think they hooked up a couple of times. He wants more.
He did get her pregnant. So she's got to go break the news to him that she's pregnant. Guy by the name of Peter, he looks like he has a constant and complete head cold the whole time. And he is studying to be a concert pianist. Yeah. So I guess you got a, I don't know how that works. You got to, there's like an exam to be a pianist or something. You got to get credentialed. Yeah. He's got to like, he's got to like perform in front of this board of pianist officianados to get certified.
I have no fucking idea what I'm talking about here. But he's got like a pianist exam is what I'm telling you. And he's all not a pianist exam. No, he's not a nine inch pianist. He's a full grown pianist. He's all up in his head about it. And then here comes Jessica. And she's like, I think we should just be friends for a while. And he's like, what? No. And she's like, yeah, and I'm pregnant and it's yours. And he's like, oh, that's great. That's great news. We can, yeah, let's have that baby.
And she's like, no, I think I'm going to get rid of it. And he's like, what? You can't do that. She's like, okay, well, I don't want to fuck up your pianist exam. So I'm going to get the fuck out of here. Sorry to break the bad news to you. Good luck on the pianist exam. I'm going to roll up out. We'll hook up later tonight and talk about it. Okay. He's all fucked up now. Now we're going to cut to Claire's dad who's still trying to find his dog. You know that would mess up his exam too.
Oh, fuck yeah, you can't drop a bomb like that right before a pianist exam. Yeah, tell me after the exam. Dude. Dude. I don't know how many pianist exams I have fucked out of. I'm going to look down on him. Dude, a pregnancy scare. That's right. Fucking shit. I should put a disclaimer on that. Anyway, back to Claire's dad. He's looking for his daughter. He's getting really worried now. And he's been to the sorority house. He decides that he's going to go and file a police report.
And it's handy because Jessica would like to file a police report. Also regarding the prank phone call. She's all up in her head about those. So now the whole crew goes over to the local police. Oh, excuse me. Where are we meet? Probably my favorite character of the entire movie. Sergeant Nash. Yeah. Desk Sergeant. Who has no fucking idea what's going on about anything? No. Poor guy. Barb and Phyllis and Jessica go with Claire's dad over there.
He's getting to work on the missing person's report. Basically, they give him the same bullshit. You know, you got to wait 24 hours. She'll probably call or something. In the meantime, Barb and Phyllis are giving Sergeant Nash the rundown about the prank phone calls. And Barb being the bitch that she is gives him a address on Felatio Street. Which is kind of humorous. Yeah. Clearly, I don't think Sergeant Nash has ever had a blowjob in his whole life. Right. It's dirty, isn't it? Yeah, it is.
Yeah, it is. But he takes it, takes the message dutifully and does his job to the best of his ability. Good for him. And by the way, this is when we find out that a number of young girls in the area have also gone missing. So that also is troublesome. Great. Everything's kind of cool from that point forward. Now we're going to cut back to the house while all that's going on. Mrs. Mack is getting her bags packed and getting ready to go to her sisters. And she starts here.
She's alone in the house at this point. She starts hearing a claw at the cat, thumpin' around upstairs. So she's like, Goddamnit, clawed. I'm going to get you out of here. The cat is waiting for her outside. So she goes up to Claire's room and she's like, clawed, come on. But she sees the attic. What an overhead is open. So she's like, how do you get up in the attic? Goes up there and apparently there's a dumb waiter hook system for this attic. Yeah, it's kind of weird. I get it.
In older style homes they had those because you don't want to have to lug something heavy up the ladder. So you just have this pulley system where you could just get up there and hook it up. Anyway, she catches a unfortunate hook to the neck or the jaw, I guess, from our unknown salient killer in the attic. Caaah, she's dead. And then he pulls her up and she's missing too. And this is where we get the reveal that Claire's body is in a rocking chair in the attic.
Still with the plastic bag in her face. Scary stuff, dude. Now we cut back to, well, first we're going to cut back to the pianist exam. I mean, it sounded okay to me, but I guess he fucked it up somehow. Because we just get him, there's three guys very impressed with themselves looking very uptight, dude, staring at Pete while he's trying to play the piano. And he's, I thought he was doing a fine job, but he's like sweating and throwing his hair around.
And he's wearing a turtle neck sweater, so that's never a good sign. I like to stay loose when I take my prized exams. I go in there in a tank top. I keep my sunglasses on the whole time. In flip flops. In flip flops. In board shorts. In board shorts. And I high five the stuff he looked at guys. I don't care if they wanted or not. Fucking high five. Anyway, apparently he fails as what is expected, considering he's about to be a dad, apparently.
At this time, so this is when we're going to meet John Saxon, who plays a lieutenant there at the Toronto Police Department. He's looking for missing girls, because there's been a lot of missing girls. And now he's kind of putting the pieces together. We've now got another missing college girl to go along with these. Plus we have these dirty prank phone calls coming into the sorority house. So he's like, okay, all this horse shit might be connected somehow. Let me see what I can figure out.
So he interviews Claire's dad. He talks to a couple of the sorority girls. Everything's, you know, I mean, there's not a whole, they don't have a whole lot to go on. So they're like, okay, well, we haven't a freshly missing girl, a 13 year old, who seems to have vanished as she was walking home from this park. So he puts together a search party at the park. And since Phil is in Jessica, or already there, they're like, yeah, we'll hang out. We'll see, we'll help out with the search party.
And so does Claire's dad. So they go walking off into the park and naturally somebody finds a dead 13 year old. So that fucking sucks. Dead girl in the park. Yeah. Still no sign of Claire though. So that sucks also. Everybody assumed that Mrs. Mac took off for Florida because she just wasn't there. And I guess nobody really cared that much about Mrs. Mac. Right. Nobody's asking questions about her or anything. They get back to the house.
And at this point, we are down to Jessica Phyllis and Barb. And they are the three that are alone at the house. Barb gets fucked up and makes a real ass out of herself in front of everybody. Going on this drunk contingent about how there's a species of turtle that can bang for three days straight. And then everybody yells at her, Barb, you're fucked up. Go to bed. Well, maybe I will then. Barb would make a perfect bar fly. She'd fit right in like in a like a Floyd's fireside.
Maybe a vassar lounge type. No, no. She goes to bed. Very cool. Here comes the prank phone calls again. I'm going to eat your pussy. Wow. Easy there, Romeo. How about you? How about a little romance there, Mr. Man? Jessica is getting really worried. So she calls Lieutenant Sachs and again. He gets on the line with the phone company and he's like, hey, we're going to catch this fucking asshole because I'm pretty sure these things are connected.
So a guy from the phone company along with Lieutenant Sachs and go over there. Hook up a wiretap to the phone at the sorority house. They then install a second phone at Sachs and's desk in the police office. And anytime somebody calls the phone at the sorority house, it will ring his phone also. So he can listen in on some of these disturbing phone calls. Okay, cool. Everything's going pretty good here for a minute.
Apparently they have to keep El Pervo on the line for 10, at least 10 seconds for them to get a location on where the call is coming from. He is a premature masturbator though. Only takes him about six and a half seconds to rock it one out. When she's a skill, I kind of wish I had because if I could bust one out that quick, I'd do. I would have knocked three out since you came into the game. Oh, fuck, okay. Back to work. Back to work. Feel much better. We go take a shower real quick.
Got any wet naps? So unfortunately this fucking Pervo calls like three or four more times, but he's on and off the phone pretty quick. Unfortunately during that time, we find out officially that Peter flunked his pianist exam. We get a real quick snippet of him smashing up the grand piano with a music stand. Yeah. So that says that Peter may be less than stable and prone to violence. Now, I'm not sure about the ending of this movie, but I'll get with you on that as we get there.
Peter then calls Jessica and he's like, he's basically just sobbing into the phone from what I gather. Yeah, I can't get rid of the baby. And she's like, Peter, Peter, Peter, come down. I'm gonna come over and see you. All right, easy, easy, fellow. But in the throes of this whiny, sobbing conversation, he makes some illusions to Jessica being pregnant and possibly having an abortion. So when he gets off the phone, Lieutenant calls Jessica back and he's like, who the hell was that?
Man, she's like, hats my sort of halfway boyfriend, Peter. He's a bit of a weirdo sometimes and we're, yeah, I'm pregnant getting an abortion. So there's that and he's not too happy with me. So this sends Lieutenant Sachs and into kind of a, mm-hmm. Very many of this guy's got something going on here with his emotional phone calls. Okay, so cut back to the, to the sorority house.
At this point, we're pretty sure, like Sachs and has got a pretty good idea that Peter might be the killer and or at least responsible for the phone call. So he calls Jessica back after getting the scoop on the abortion thing. He's like, okay, so where do you think Peter is right now? And she's like, well, he's, you know, when he gets emotional like this, he just goes down to the musical and plays the piano for a while and he feels better.
So Lieutenant Sachs and goes down to the musical where he finds the baby grand piano smashed to bits. Now he's like, okay, you fucker. Red flag. Yeah, you, we need to have a chitchat with this dude. About that time, Jessica gets another funky phone call. Yeah. And somebody screaming and beating off into the phone again. But at one point, while the phone company guy was there, he's like, oh, there's a second line in this McHenry's room. So she gets, she has her own private line up there.
So she could or somebody could theoretically be in her room calling the main line downstairs. Okay, easy enough. Jessica gets another funky phone call and then she starts hearing footsteps running around upstairs. Oh, fuck, it's Peter. He's in the house. But again, Sachs and comes over and Peter walks past him and Sachs and it's like, that's the guy. He's a fucking weirdo I can tell. Everybody leaves. Phyllis and Barb come back. Barb's hammered. She goes upstairs and goes to bed.
Now there's like a roving band of search parties slash Canadian vigilantes roaming the neighborhood with shotguns. They stop by to check on the girls and they literally look like Elmer Fud and his cousin showed up and... Ooh, you girls stay safe now. You'll hear. While that's going on, the killer in this movie has an uncanny ability to strike while there's outside noise. That way he's never heard. So Barb's upstairs passed out drunk asleep. These two doofuses are banging on the door.
The girls are already freaked out as it is because there's two jack offs with shotguns at their door. And this is when the killer hits Bab with what I believe was a crystal unicorn head. Something like that. Some kind of crystal nicknack with a point on it. I think it was a unicorn. I couldn't really make it out. But stabs a piss out of Barb. She's dead. They don't know that she's dead because they thought she just went upstairs and passed out. Fair enough.
About this time Phyllis goes to bed and we never really get to see what happens to Phyllis other than she hears some stuff in her bedroom. So she kind of goes in there and somebody I think grabbed her before she could turn the lights on. And then that was it for Phyllis. Unfortunately. Now we get another goofy phone call. You're going to get rid of that baby. Okay, so the killer or at least the guy making the phone calls knows what's going on.
All right. Well, another red flag right there, Peter. This time, Saxon and the phone company guy get a actual location on where the calls are coming from. Yeah. It's coming from Mrs. Max room, which is one floor above where Jessica is. So the phone company guy calls Lieutenant Saxon who's just leaving the music hall. And he's like, hey, the phone company, you know, it's me at the phone company. Those calls are coming from the second line in Mrs. Max room. So they, he's like, oh, shit.
So the killer is in or at least the the horny guy is inside the house. Yeah. So he's like, oh, shit. Okay. Call Jessica and tell her just calmly to walk outside of the house. Yeah. Don't let it. Don't. No. Don't answer any questions. Just tell her I'm on my way. I'll be there in five minutes and she needs to meet me in the driveway. Unfortunately, Sergeant Nash is not the sharpest knife on the drawer. So he gets Jessica on the phone. He's like, get outside right now.
He's inside the house to call scum. It's from inside the house. He's like a Sam Kiddison thing. Yeah. Jessica's like, oh, shit. So she hangs up the phone, but she doesn't realize that Phyllis and Barbara already dead. Right. So she's down at the front door screaming upstairs. Phyllis, Barbara, we got to get out of here. What do you guys please answer me? Very quickly, she does the math that if they are up there, they're probably already dead.
And this is when we get like the footprints coming down or the footsteps coming down the stairs. We get a very quick cat and mouse game between our killer and Jessica. Now, there is one point in the movie. I believe it was right before Barb got stabbed with that brick-a-brack thing, whatever it was, where we kind of saw like the outline of the killer. And all you really could see was like one eye coming out of the shadow and like a scruffy haircut kind of a thing.
Again, running around back and forth, eventually she hides in the basement. Just as the cops are pulling up, the killer Peter actually shows up. And he kicks the window in to the basement and lets himself in. As the cops are kicking the door to the basement open, and then the cops get down there and then we just see Jessica holding a crowbar. Peter, who's been bludgeoned to death like laying with his head on her lap, and then the cops come down and they just assume that Peter was the killer.
Now, other than being a bit of an emotional nut sack and smashing up a piano pretty good, there's really nothing to insinuate that Peter was in fact the killer, right? Nope. And given the actual like the final 15-20 seconds of this movie, I don't think he actually was. What do you think? You don't think so? No, he wasn't. Who do you think was the killer? Just a random dude? A random person. Okay, whoever this Billy character is. Yes. Okay, that makes sense. I'm glad you're with me on this.
Yeah. Because I think the assumption we were supposed to leave with was that Peter was the killer and that Jessica killed him in self-defense. And there's that. Yeah, I don't know if they were trying to go for, you know, hey, maybe we can do this in a part two and all of a sudden he comes back. That was a vibe that I got from watching that. It's like, oh, he just casually walked away. Yeah. And then of course, you know, cops and everybody show up. Yeah, there's nobody there. Yeah.
Like so well, I think I mean, Saxon pretty much had it in his head that Peter was the killer and then with. And then this fucking shit show here and then Jessica killed him presumably in self-defense. Although we didn't actually see it. So and she didn't actually like she went cantonic and then they sedate her. Yeah. So she couldn't actually explain what happened in the basement. So we have to assume that this Billy character is actually our killer.
Yep. Well, that sucks for Peter, man. Yeah, poor Peter. Well, a bit of a weirdo and a little emotional. No business smashing that grand piano. No, that's a lot of money. And back to pianist school for you, sir. I don't know. Peter the pianist. The last I think minute and a half of this movie is probably in my opinion the best part. Oh, yeah, you've got a little chase scene down there.
No, no, no, even after that. You got Jessica sedated in bed. You've got all these cops and corners running around a room. You got the newspaper people outside. It's complete chaos and Saxon is there. And he's like, okay, we got to get everybody out of here. And then they're like, okay, we'll put a guy outside just to be on the safe side. And then everybody like turns the lights off and quietly leaves the house. And then you get that slow pan back from the exterior where the wind is blowing.
And it's just like dead quiet. And you can see the one lonely cop standing by the front door. Oh, yeah. And then the phone rings. And you can just hear it ringing in the background. As if to indicate that you're killer or at least your horny guy on the phone is still on the loose. I really like that. I think that's a great ending right there. What did you think of black Christmas? Oh, I love it. It's a good show. Oh, yeah, definitely is. Definitely is.
I think it's probably, it's definitely my favorite Christmas horror movie. Well, second favorite. I'll say, Krampus is probably the one. That's horror comedy, though. Great atmosphere. Christmas can be just as fucking scary as Halloween, I say. With the lights, you know, I get it. It's supposed to be like this joyous occasion. But the cold, bleak winter outside can be very isolating.
If you're not in the throes of like the family environment and the festivities, it can be very depressing also, which is a major leap bummer. But it lends itself well to a horror film, I think. Right. Yeah. It's a good show. I'm sure most of you guys have already seen it. If you haven't, check it out. Streaming on shutter as we speak. I got the fucking screen box, special edition, whatever. There is a 2006 remake. It's poo.
It's... Okay. Now, if you want to talk about poo remakes, there's a 2006 remake. And then there's a 2019 remake. 19th worst. 2019 remake will make you want to fucking not even. No. Give up. It is an impacted colon full of political posturing, messaging about patriarchy's girl power and a bunch of stuff that you don't really care about. Especially if you think you're watching a black Christmas remake. It'll make you want to punch yourself in the anus. Yeah. They tried to throw everything in it.
Watch that. And then watch the 2006 remake. Oh, that's not so bad anymore. You know what I mean? Yeah. I mean, either one of them or anything compared to the original remake. That's me. But there you have it. Original is streaming on shutter. Check it out if you feel like it inmates. It's worth a re-visiting, I would say. Let's take us a little break there, buddy. Yeah. I'm coming. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back.
I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. I'm coming back. Hand, hand, hand. Hey inmates, if you like what you hear, head over to the Patatroom Facebook group and support us through the Patreon link with a small monthly donation. Check out the T-Villain link at patatroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts.
Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show. And we are back buddy buddy. Oh man. I think it's time for a meat hook amigo. I'm sorry. The Re on a meat hook. This week's meat hook top three sorority or fraternity horror movies. Either way I just want a horror movie with some Greek letters involved. Whatever the case may be buddy what do you got in number three? The house on sorority row. Okay, one with the original. I like it. That's a good one. A lot of, if you've seen that one recently.
It's been a couple years. Very strange imagery towards the end because the main chick gets drugged after the party lets out. And she starts hallucinating as the killer is approaching from behind. And that's what all kinds of like weird like interpretive dance with people that aren't there. It goes really bananas there for a minute. Yeah. It's a pretty good show though. I'm very murder mystery-esque. Yes. Very cool. My number three one dark knight.
Oh. Now I might have to take a mulligan on this one because it's never actually... I don't... I can't say for 100% sure if it was a sorority that Meg Tilley was trying to get into. Or if it was just some weirdo girl gang. Or so I know they all had purple windbreakers and that was a big deal. And in order to get in she had to spend the night in the mausoleum. Naturally nothing good happens from there. This was from a time in the days of your buddy.
When Jennifer Tilley actually had a sister that was hotter than she was. Oh. There was Jennifer Tilley and there was Meg Tilley. And Meg Tilley was the really hot one. Yeah whatever I'm to her. She's still around. She looks like a... She's a Roseanne bar type. Oh okay. If you understand what I'm saying. Yeah. This is what I would... probably the best way to put it. Good show. Early 80s had one of my childhood crushes in it. Not Meg Tilley. A young lady by the name of Elizabeth Daly.
Do you remember her? Her name sounds familiar. She played sexhead in 31. She screamed and hot in the early 80s. She popped up in like every second or third rom-com. Wow. With John Q's act. She's really hot in a movie called Streets of Fire. With Michael Paray and Willem DeFoe. They get into a sledgehammer fight. Yeah. Oh dude. That movie is... have you ever seen Streets of Fire? That movie is bananas. It's not a horror movie. It's more like a weird... Kind of a... it's very weird.
But it's a good show. She plays like a... um... burlesque dancer if I remember right. Crazy hot. I'm not number two there, buddy. Number two? And I did the creeps. Oh fuck! Oh fuck! Yeah. I got it right there on the screen factory. The screen factory. Limited edition blu-ray. Yeah. Tom Atkins. Thrown me. That's how you would answer the phone. Thrown me. I wish I was cool enough to do that. If I said that, people would... What's your fucking problem? Thrill you? Really?
I want you to know what time to pick the kids up, asshole. Thrown me! Okay. God, that's a good show, man. Um... Those little slugs... A tingling of zombies, also. Yeah. Good stuff. And uh... Get one of those things in your mouth, you're done. Oh yeah. And there's like a whole gay thing going on too. I wasn't aware of it at the time that I saw it. Uh huh. But like between him and his crippled roommate. There's like a gay subtext. Oh, I didn't kiss that. Well, it's more of the crippled guy.
He was really... The House On Sorority Row remake from 2000. Oh, okay. I actually like that one a little bit more because uh... I don't know, it's a good update. Um... In the original House On Sorority Row, it's the tyrannical house mother that gets accidentally killed kind of, you know, weird prank. Um, it's much better couched in the remake, I think, with one of the sorority sisters actually getting killed. The cover up. And now the culprits are being murdered one... One at a time.
We've got a boyfriend that might be a... We've got a younger sister that shows up. Um, it's much... I would say it's much more murder mystery and a little less slashery. But there's still some pretty cool kills. And the murder weapon in that one was really weird. It was like a, um... One of those star lug wrenches. But for some reason, one of the lugs was like a blade. And there was like a big screwdriver head on the other one. And you could throw it and it would whistle when you threw it.
Oh, pretty cool. Yeah. It's a unique weapon. I don't think you can actually buy that. You can buy a star lug wrench. That's easy enough. But with like a blade attachment and stuff, I don't think you need that. What are you gonna do with that? Other than kill coeds, right? All right, have a number one there, buddy. It's a good one. Yeah. That's great show. I love that. There's a certain aspect to the sorority house that lends itself very well to horror.
Like, you see these horror movies that take place on sorority row or in sorority, or fraternity houses. They're always like these big, sprawling three and four story colonial mansion types that are just littered with like wreck rooms and extra bedrooms and like weird upstairs bathrooms and mezzanine levels. And there's like usually some kind of a not a secret passage, but like a dumb waiter situation. Right. It really works well for a horror movie. Yeah, really. Of any kind, really.
Yeah. The any of these would make great ghost story houses. It would work great for slasers because there's all these little nooks and crannies that you can hide and stuff. Unfortunately, my number one does not take place in a sorority house. It takes place in a chopping mall slash bowling alley. Talking of course about sorority babes and the slam ball bowl around. It's a bad movie. I understand that. I fully understand that. Why can I not get myself enough of this movie?
Is it Michelle Bowers' breasts? Quite possible. Maybe. Is it Lenae Quigley's breasts? Is it the menagerie of breasts, all in one nice breast bouquet? It could be. I don't know why I love this movie so much. It's so stupid. It's so stupid. You got yourself a demonic sock puppet that's graining wishes. And turning co-eds into demonic bride of Frankenstein things. It's dumb as hell. I understand that. I can't get enough of it. I don't know why. I love the hell out of that movie.
And at one point Jason Harrow, when he was in here, was teasing a possible remake. I don't know that you can actually recapture that kind of magic. Yeah, that'll be tough. It's going to be just as bad. I'm sure. And we'll say try to go like some serious dark brooding route. Yeah, I think that they tried to remake it. It'd just be worse. I mean, I'm going to have to check it out one way or two. I can't not check it out.
Inmates, we would like to know what your top three sorority slash fraternity horror movies are. Get us your top three by next week. The Mental Health Hotline, of course, is area code 775-3870-275. Or just go to paddedroompodcast.com and hit the meat hook link. Let's throw that way. We'll make fun of you next week for sure. Absolutely. Right now, buddy. Teradome times. Yeah! It's a waste of good suffering. I'm not going to hurt you. You didn't let me finish my sentence.
I said, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just going to bash your brains. I'm going to bash you right the fuck in. I'm going to kill you. I'll be crazy. Kill you. I'll be the reason. I'm the worst dream come true. Six-year-old child of this life, a male, immobile face, of blackest others, and a male, a male, a male, a male, a male, a male. I'm the worst dream come true. Welcome to the Teradome. First, last week's winner, buddy.
Yeah. The first person we had, Herbert West, reanimator, versus the creature from the Black Lagoon. The creature was operating on an amphibian endomorphic level and Herbert West knew it. It wanted to eat and reproduce, but had been secluded in the Lagoon its entire existence, recreating its pheromones and baiting the trap was easy, getting its carcass back to Mischatonic University would be much harder. It's early for a blowout, but we got one anyway. Yeah, I kind of saw that one coming.
Let's take a look at this week's matchup, shall we? Yeah. We are in the infertocoffrance round three. As usual, and Mates bear with me, I don't know how to write stuff. It sleeps, it wakes, it feeds. Eating the anatomy of its prey to regenerate its own. Every 23 years, the 23 years that just came to an end, its milky eyes open, a scent catches its attention, gun oil, blood, sweat, grease paint, and desperation.
A car moving fast down in a band-in and forgotten South Texas highway, the driver has something it needs, a heart. Otis was the last surviving member of the Firefly clan. The bodies of baby in Captain Spalding lay slumped in the back seat, sure if White Dell was less than an hour behind him in closing. If the car doesn't run out of gas, if Otis doesn't bleed out behind the wheel, if the thing circling in the sky above the highway doesn't strike, he might just make it to the Mexican border.
Single's competition, we have the creeper versus Otis driftwood, buddy. How say you? We'll have to go with the creeper on this one. Me too. Not just because he's my horse in this race, but Otis is just a guy. He's crazy as shit, I'll give you that, and he's kind of crafty. But putting a garbage can on your head is not going to save you from the creeper. No. It might get you through a shootout with the Texas Rangers. Not for the creeper though. It can fly. Okay, go ahead, get mad at me Tom Hardy.
The creeper can fly, it's got fucking wings. And you can run it over and back over it and run over it again and back over it again and run over it again and back over it again. It's still coming. Yeah. You got to get a harpoon gun and nail it to the side of a barn. Yeah. And you got to keep it there for 23 fucking years. That's the only way you can do it, buddy. Yeah. That's your matchup for the weekend, mates, it's the creeper versus Otis driftwood. Again, get us your votes by next week.
If you have time, mental health hotline is area code 7753870275 or just go to paddedroompodcast.com, hit the tarot dome link and vote that way, however you want to do it. But now we have to tell you what movies we got to watch this week in a segment called, What are you looking at? Yeah. What are you looking at? I only got one in this week. It's an Australian movie called Night of Feet. Which I know sounds ridiculous. Yeah, it doesn't sound that entertaining.
Night of Fear. Are you scared tonight? No. Well, it's the night of fear. So try to work on that. It's Australian. It's only about an hour long. Oh, wow. It is a very short night. It is a very short night. It is a very shabby Australian version, I would say, of the Texas Chainsaw massacre, I guess, is the closest comparison.
This fairly attractive young lady is driving down the highway, gets into a car accident, veers off the road, ends up in the Australian liberal area, not the outback per se, but there's a psycho out there at Hillbilly that breeds rats, and he chases her and fucks with her, and then eventually captures her and kills her and feeds her to the rats. Damn. That's about all there is to it. But there's no dialogue in the whole movie.
Whoa. So it's all just, there's like a little opening montage of her playing tennis, and then banging her boyfriend in the woods, and then after that she's behind the wheel of the car, and then nature just takes its course from there, I guess. Interesting. It is, and it's only an hour long. So you got that going for it. Worth a watch? I mean, it's nothing we haven't seen before. You know, if you got an hour to kill, why not? But other than that, there's really nothing to write home about.
Okay. What do you got? That's it. That's it? I got nothing. It's been three weeks, man. I know. Oh, I get outta here. Busy three weeks. I guess so. All right. How about some immersion therapy then? Yeah. Immersion therapy. Did you get a chance to check out Dr. Caligari? Yeah. I don't have any answers. I don't think it has other than the name. I don't think it has anything to do at all with the original cabinet of Dr. Caligari. Yeah, I don't think so.
If I had seen this when I was nine, I would have probably pulled my dick clean off to it. There's some very nice breaths in it. A lot of unnecessary cigarette smoking. And I couldn't tell you what the hell... You got an... Okay. If I'm understanding this correctly, which I'm probably not, you have an Infomaniac that checks herself into a Art Deco early 90s mental institution made by the above mentioned Dr. Caligari. Who is herself? I don't know. She just likes to put her tits out.
She's not like an Info, but she smokes a lot of cigarettes and she wears things with her boobs out. So, okay. I don't... So, I guess... This is making my head hurt just trying to think about it. Yeah. They take her brain enzymes and stick it in the director of the mental institution which turns him into a cross-dressing Info. Yeah. That's pretty much the crux of the movie as I understood it, right? Yeah. That's it. And that's so early.
A lot of weird imagery and what I think are dream sequences or something with... Oh, that scene with the giant mouse and the tongue. That was weird. That I could have fucking... Ha-ha-ha! Ah! It's a good thing this thing didn't show up on HBO in 1983. It was a cinematics. I wouldn't have reported it with my VHS in my bedroom and watched that scene right there. Over and over. Boom! Mm-hmm. Oh, shit. For some fucking reason, buddy. I don't know why. I went ahead and bought it on Blu-ray. Oh, yeah.
I'm shocked. I know. I'm still in the plastic. I have a ticket in the box. Probably watch it with the sound off. Yeah. Once the wife goes to bed. I'm kind of interested in the special features. I'm sure you are. A little bit. There's special... That's right. There's special, all right. Have a little special time with myself with the special features. Yeah. There it is, dude. What do you got for us this week? All right, this week. Let's check out 2024's Exuba.
It's about the process of excavating an ominous grave that unleashes dreadful consequences buried underneath. And you'll find this gem on shutter. Very cool. And, mates, check that shit out. We'll do the same in compare notes next week. Now, it is time to educate me. Educating Miss Monica. I am a miserable peon that works for Count Dracula. I've been doing his fucking heavy lifting for the last 300 years. I've had about enough of it to be honest with you.
But he keeps promising me he's going to make me into a vampire. At some point, it still hasn't followed up on that. And now I'm falling in love with Immortal. And I think I've about had enough of this shit. Unfortunately, there's a drug ring involved. And her boy, her ex-boyfriend, is really into scum music. I don't know why that's a point, but it keeps popping up for no reason. And, yeah, I think I'm about done with this shit there, buddy. I am, of course, Renfield. Have you seen it?
Yeah. Not a bad shit. Yeah, I like it. More of a comedy. Yeah. That's some good action, see. Oh, sure did. After he takes a handful of bugs. Yeah, he can really get down. That's fine. I don't know that... I mean, I'm a Nicholas Cage guy. But that was kind of silly. It was. I mean, good. I think if he had played like a serious Dracula, maybe, you might be all right. But that was kind of silly. Whatever, dude. Whatever, it's fine. Who might I be this week, you ask?
Well, buddy, I am a promiscuous 17-year-old girl. In 1950, something or other. And we're having a gala event at the high school. And I went there with my boyfriend. Unfortunately, I had a few too many to drink and hooked up with another dude, who took me behind the stage for a little love. And that's when my boyfriend found out. And he was heartbroken, so he decided to fire a stink bomb at me, which caught the whole goddamn place on fire. Fast forward to 1980, something or other.
My spirit has been let loose to wreak revenge on the boyfriend who, I believe, is either now a cop or a priest. And the guy that took me behind the stage, who is either a cop or a priest, and the rest of the fucking high school. And one poor young lady who happened to open a chest that had my burned up formal dress in it. And now I'm kind of going to possess her and really fuck some other shit up too. So watch out for that, buddy.
Angry, dead, promiscuous, 17-year-old girl on the loose, and ready to fuck some shit up at school. Alright. Who might I be? You ask? Tune in next week and I'll drop some knowledge on you, inmates. And the meantime, I think that's about it for us. Join us next week. We're going to be kicking off possession month here in the padded room. All July, it's all possession all the time. We're going to start things off with the resurrected. The resurrected?
Resurrected from 1992, starring Chris Surandon and some other people that don't... Can't think of their names off the top of my head. Like, comment, subscribe. Of course, wherever you found this show and made said helps our visibility quite a bit. If you have time, we do have a Patreon campaign running full of Price Swag and other BS. Just go to paddedroompodcast.com. You'll find the link there. Take you right where you need to go. We'll send you some mugs and t-shirts and other stuff, whatever.
But I'll send you a pair of buddy's paintings. I'll wait till he's asleep. Listen, here's one moment. Wait till he's asleep. Sneak into his house. I'll peel them daintyly off of his prone naked body and drop them right into a FedEx envelope for your pleasure. Complete with pubes and funky ball sweat. Just for you! That's gonna be a new tier. That's gonna cost you like 300 bucks. Because I could conceivably get arrested doing that. In the meantime, buddy, you got anything else to get? No.
Alrighty. Four vampires and their disgruntled servants. Horde 17-year-olds. Undead 17-year-olds and the damage they can do. Stephen King adaptations that are coming out, you think we'd be done with Stephen King, right? But he has written so many motherfucking short stories and they're just gonna keep cranking them into movie adaptations. Some good, some bad. We got some more on the way. Thank God for that. Dark Universe theme parts and the paddedroom podcast. I'm afraid visiting hours are over.
Bye and have a great week. I'm excited to turn the ghost to a weak night. I want you to love her till she's alive in the night light.