A little more? A little bit more. How about that? Oh, there we go. That's a bit much right there. How about there? That goes to yours too? Yeah. And exclusive sensation, ecstasy, I'm cross-checking. Padded Room Podcast is back in your iPods, in your iPhones, and any other listening devices you may or may not have brought to the party. My name is Darien, I've returned for another week of spicy hot, disgusting, funky, stinky, sweaty, sweaty.
Poor goodness. My main man buddy is in the house. Yo! What's up, dude? Oh, man. What's going on with you? So, you know, last week I was telling you, oh yeah, I did get my paycheck, you know, blah blah blah. Well, guess what? I still don't have it. Damn. Yeah, I am on my fifth week of work. And so far, the first check was emailed because, you know, when you started a new company, the first was live, right?
Okay, so the first one got lost in Sacramento at the UPS station. Okay. So now they sent another one, and voided the old one, you know, all that jazz. And it's lost at the Sparks UPS station. So, yeah. So they're wanting to pay you like a hard, with like a hard check. A hard check. Why not just direct deposit? Well, with the first one they don't usually do that with the first one, you get a live check, and then the second one has all filled out. So the second one goes in as a direct deposit.
Okay. So after this little fiasco, they decided to go ahead and wired in there. Okay. I should see it tomorrow. Who knows? I got to find out about this buddy. Yeah. Bad feeling. Let me be honest with you. Five weeks at no paycheck. I don't think you actually worked there. I know it's kind of, it's kind of funny how it's working out. I'm just saying, you might want to like file for unemployment first of all.
And this Friday is actually when I'm supposed to get my second check. So I wonder which one's going to beat it. Exactly. Right? Exactly right. Shit, man. All right. That's cool. Yeah. That's about it with me. How about you? I'm tired, bro. Yeah. Tyra ran the Odyssey. It's my seventh year running the Reno Tahoe Odyssey. That is awesome. I envy you. 178 miles relay race. It's a human blast furnace is what it is. Yeah. And it takes about 36 hours.
You do it in a team of 12. You're on the hook for about 20 miles. No matter how you slice it up. Right. You know, that last one though, that first two legs are pretty easy. First one was going from Boca into headed up towards Truckee. A little bit up and down, but our net it was okay. Yeah. Second one was around Tahoe about 11 o'clock at night. That's kind of nice. Yeah. Nice and cool out there. It's cool. Yeah. Not a lot of traffic. Kind of getting you got the whole forest and all that shit.
That's neat. Last one though. Going up Sugar Hill into Virginia City. Yeah. Fucking fuck. And dude, that is like you need like a rope in like one of those ice hammers. Oh, damn. That's how uphill it is, man. Yeah. What time was that at? That was probably about seven o'clockish in the morning. Not terrible. It wasn't hot. It was just a guy getting it. Yeah. Dude. Wow. I'm running and at one point I'm like fucking I can walk faster than I'm running right now.
So why am I even fucking running? Why don't I just walk? And then I started walking and then I passed like five people. Oh, all right. I should have been doing this the whole time. I should have been doing this the whole time. Yeah. It's miserable, dude. Yeah. I mean, I got five years left till I get into the ring of honor or whatever they call it. It's fire. Whatever. Yeah. Sort of feels like it's like a designation for everybody who's ran all 36 legs.
And then if I remember right, you said all those medals go into like one giant medal. Turn into it. If you connect them, that's the spark break. Yeah. Those ones all clipped together. Okay. I've got two out of three. I need my third one on that. Wow. That's a whole that's that's a fucking obstacle course. Oh, you got to carry buckets of rocks. Wow. That's a mother fucker, man. So what you're done with RTO? You're gonna try that again.
By the time I'm done with the RCO, I'll be 52 years old. I don't know if I'm I don't think I'm gonna do nothing. I think I'll be done with done with life. Yeah. It's done with life. It's miserable. It's okay. I is from my complaining. I actually have a pretty good time. That's good. Because I got a good team and we all is miserable as it is. We all have fun and we've all seen each other's assholes. So I mean, once you've crossed that bridge, you're pretty much family.
Is that like shit on the side of the road? You've got to take a dump, man. Yeah. When you get to moving and you get to running, the turds are knocking at the door. Oh, yeah. And sometimes they don't want to come back later. Sometimes they want to talk to you right now. It's like a groundhog. Exactly. Like a turtle head. It's a turtle head. Yeah. But at full speed through the great basin forest. I probably just run with a diaper. Nope. No. No. No. No.
All right, man. Well enough about us and our horse shit. How about we get into the regular business here? Yeah. We got listener mail, horror news, a couple of movies to talk about. I say we start things off with the little horror news there, buddy. Yeah. Horror news. All right. What do you got there? Well, you like the hostile movies? I do. Well, hostile TV series is in the works and guess who's one of the stars. Let's hear. Please tell me it's terror read.
No. I'm sorry. Let me down. I'm ready for more terror read. I bet you are. No. Okay. Whatever. With both arms and with one. Whatever. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Paul Geomodius said to star in this. Yeah. Yeah. And you know, he's been getting more and more involved in the horror genre. Yeah. And I absolutely love it because I think he's a great actor. I think so too. Yeah. So yeah, he's looking for a key star or key role in this film. Okay. You know, and Eli Roth is returning to this.
So looking forward to this. It should be pretty good. No plot details as of yet the series is still in development, but described as a modern adaptation and elevated thriller that's also a reinvention of the horror franchise that launched in 2006. We spawn two sequels. Did you get to answer watch all three? I did. Yeah. Me too. I like them. They kind of slowly went downhill. But I did not care for the third one. No. The third one was in Vegas. Yeah. Yeah.
They didn't make any sense. Keep it way out there. Eastern Europe. Yeah. Balkans. Uh-huh. That to me made it more realistic when you had to actually, you know, hey, you know, when you're young and let's go out. Yeah. But your hot chicks giving you pills and shit. And then, uh, of course, his character details are under wraps. Okay. All right. Peach Fuzz is back. Mark Duplus announces the creep tapes. Yeah. I figured you know, since we're talking about the whole movies turning into series.
Yeah. Well, this is one of them. Okay. The creep tapes TV series. Yes. The creep franchise will continue along with potentially more tubby time with the announcement coming courtesy of mysterious video from Mark Duplus that actually hit TikTok today. A new installment in the creep franchise is coming soon. The video, Jesus, suggesting that creep three is finally on the way. The movie actually. Or perhaps it's something else like a creep television series. Uh-huh. That's right. And updated today.
Uh, the mysterious project teased by Duplus has been revealed to be the creep tapes. A television series expansion of the creep film franchise. Okay. I'm looking forward to this. Uh, the series is based on a collection of video tapes in the secret vault of the world's deadliest and most socially uncomfortable serial killer who hires his victims to film him for the day under false pretenses. Uh, you know, like just, just like the films.
Totally. Uh, the cool thing is the franchise centers onto the last character. Totally creep whose name is ever changing, but whose bizarre murderous behavior is always documented in a found-footed style. I do like that about the creep. Yeah. Um, that, I think that pretty much sums it up. You know what I mean? Yeah. Cause it's like, he's a creep. Sure. Uh-huh. He's just like nice enough to where you don't want to be rude. Right. He's a, he seems like a, like a solid guy.
But every now and then he's like pulling out this weird mask. I want you to fill me in the bathtub. Yeah. And you're like, I don't want to do this. I want to do this. Okay. He did pay me. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Well, that's funky. I'm into it. Yeah. Well, that's all I got. What do you got? Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude. Are you ready for an evil, a 2013 evil dead steelbook 4K? Who being released this August? Wow. If Jason was here, his bowter was probably knocked this table of.
Yeah. I probably get a black eye. Probably. Probably. That's something to look forward to. Mm-hmm. Definitely. Whatever with the steelbook, but I'm probably going to check it out. Right. I really like that movie. Uh-uh. Mike Flanagan is teasing a physical release of Hutch. Oh. So we might finally get that on Blu-ray. Wow. I can't believe it hasn't even been released yet. The fucking Netflix owned it. Oh. Is that what it was? Yeah. They refused to release anything physically.
Man, I was wondering if they want you to keep subscribing and watching. Did it? When there was a Hutch 2 or something like that? I don't think so. I don't think there was. It was just the one. Uh, good stuff. Dungeons & Dragons crossover chapter is now available for Dead by Day Life. Oh, okay. I've already paid for it and downloaded it. And I played twice. Um, it's tricky. It's very tricky. It's anything like the old school Dungeons & Dragons.
Yeah, actually a little too much like the old school Dungeons. Like, you're familiar with Dead by Day Life. Oh, yeah. So if you're playing, there's the killer is, uh, he's called the Litch. Okay. And he's like this floating skeleton thing. And part of his mechanic is that you find treasure chests throughout the map. And instead, like normally there would be like a toolbox or a medicate or a flashlight in there. Now you get like a 20-sided die. Oh. You roll it. See what you get.
Yes. Hmm. I don't. What's the best perk? I don't know. Okay. I don't know. I don't know. What I can tell you is whatever you get, it makes your hands glow. Huh. Which makes it very difficult to hide. It would really cool. With 20- with 20 die, you would think that like the best one would be in still win. You know, like where just everything unlocks. I doubt they have that. I doubt that's right. But it makes your characters hands glow and then it makes it very difficult to hide from the killer.
So I basically quit opening the fucking treasure chest because every time I did he would spot me and run right at it. Oh, there he is. There he is. Fucking glowing guy. No, I'm done dude. It's like hunting in a bright yellow suit. Pretty much. Like with a flash or on or something. Yeah. What else we got here? Godzilla minus one is now available on Netflix. Wow. I heard that was pretty good. I haven't seen it yet. Me neither. I heard good things.
I'm going to try and squeeze it in for next week's show. Lastly, here's something I'm very excited for. Hmm. And you should be too. Huh. The characters are up. Who? Four. Yes. Return. Oh. To Silent Hill. Oh, yes. Hell yeah. Hell yeah. Oh my god. Oh, yeah. Oh, I hope they do it right. Man. It looks good. Yeah. It looks really good. I didn't see Kit Harrington in there or Sean Bean or um, that chick. I didn't see any of the cast from the previous first two movies. They don't have to have them.
I don't think we're going to even, I don't know if we're going to, I think we might just pretend those never happen. Oh. I don't know. I don't know what we're doing here. But it looks, I did, there was, I did see the nurses and I did see pyramid head. Yeah. Um, yeah. So there's that. Oh man. Oh, I can't wait to check this out. Hell yeah. Mm-hmm. One of my favorites. I got to get to the theaters for this. Right on, dude. That's all we got on the listener or the horror news.
You ready for some listener mail? Yeah. Get it on. Yeah. Yeah. Get it on. Listener mail. Yes, sir. We got emails, voicemails, all kinds of fun shit happening here. How about we kick things off with the email there, buddy? Mm-hmm. All the way from Sydney, Australia. Yes, sir. Listener mail. Listener mail. Yes, sir. Listener mail. Listener mail. Yes, sir. We got emails, voicemails, all kinds of fun shit happening here. How about we kick things off with the email. Their buddy.
Mm-hmm. All the way from Sydney, Australia. Here comes team. Ooh, hey, Tim. Tim, dummies of horror, right? Yeah. Let's see here subject line coffee tables in really? Terror read? Yeah, man. Sometimes we got a, we got a, we got a reek. We got a reek for these. We got a dig deep to come up with these meat hooks, man. That's right. It's an easy, Tim. Hello, both you sex crazed terror read fans. That's me. Yeah. That is me. Okay, seriously, terror read horror films is the best you could think of.
Fine. Number three, Sharknado. Number two. Charlie's Farm. Number one, Urban Legend. Much like Darian, I've only seen three terror read horror films and buddy, I agree, Charlie's Farm is a lot of fun. Yes. And it's Australian, so you know, it must be decent. If I like it, if I like an Australian film. Tim does not like Australian films. I get it. Yeah. I get it. I get it. I can imagine that you're living there. Oh, great. Another Australian.
Where are they going to, how are they going to make us out this time? I'm going to make a bold statement right now. Oh. The Papa Duke. Mm-hmm. Man. Oh, yeah. That wasn't a fail. It's fine. Yeah. Is it the best thing ever? No. I like the other one, but what was the other one? Well, they only, they had like three hours before the earth blew up. What was that called? These final hours. These final hours. That was a good one. Right. Uh, Bepa Bepa Darien, Australian film. Darien.
I'm really digging the monster of the month style review system you're doing. Good idea. Before I go, I'll come in with what I've been watching. Ghostbusters, frozen empire. Yes. All right. So that one was pretty good. Turn your brain off and have fun with it. Yes. You thought it was decent. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I agree. There's a lot of stuff that is a little wacky in there and doesn't make sense. But if they don't be a ghostbusters nerd, you know what I'm saying? In a way you kind of have to.
Oh, and not really. Because I mean, you can tell me, Janine Melnitz is certified to run a nuclear capacitor. Oh, well. No. No. But in the end, she's suiting up and getting ready to rock. Mm-hmm. Ah, whatever. Uh, the first omen. I didn't expect much going in after the exorcist believer, but it was actually pretty good. Yeah. Not perfect, but I enjoyed it. I gotta see this. Me too. Abigail. This was fun. Planned in simple, nothing incredible, but it's enjoyable. Cool. The coffee table.
Okay, this movie. Um, this made, this film made me feel so incredibly uncomfortable that I wanted to turn it off, but I couldn't because it's amazing. Wow. If you're having the best day ever, and for some reason you want to feel sad, then watch this. Be warned, it's a pretty rough watch, especially for people like us. Parents. Oh, shit.
Tim. But this movie did exactly what it set out to do, and I don't think I've ever sat through a film that's made me feel more uncomfortable and depressed than the coffee table. It sounds like I'm giving it a negative review, but for how this film made me feel, it's a 10 out of 10. Wow. Go check it out now. That's it for me. You all have a good time. You hear. I didn't even hear it to that movie. We need to have the coffee table. The coffee table. It sounds like a very boring movie.
Yeah. It's about a coffee table. Right. It sits in the living room right next to the couch. Can I put my feet on it? Or do I put a coaster down? Yeah. Is that my drink or whatever? You didn't put a coaster down. Shit. I'm sorry. All right. Well, we'll have to check that out. Tim, I got a movie to talk about. Wait, when we get to what are you looking at? I got another uncomfortable, kind of weird movie to talk about. I think you may have heard of it. That's all we got on the emails.
Let's get ready for some voice mails here, dude. Yeah. Let's kick things off in Anderson, Indiana, of all places. All right. Here comes Kup Nukum. Hey, what's up? Okay, Darian. I'm mad at you. Okay. Right for this week's meet-oat. Uh-huh. Like, uh, Tara Reid, or... I told you, man. Really? I told you. I like how you blame me on me. The only one I've seen is Sharknado. That's really all you need. I don't even think I stopped doing the whole thing of that. Yeah. I don't blame you. God, you suck.
I need to remind you whose idea that was. I think I could think of that were worthwhile back when she was a lot more hot. She's still alive. I think the first one, maybe... I can't remember if it came out before that... So here we go. Okay. Number three, I'm going to put Sharknado. Okay. Uh... Right? It is. Number two, I'm going with American pride. Okay. Which... That one has some good, uh, retaining qualities. TNA. Mm-hmm. Can't remember if the actress's name, but... She had an Elizabeth Ford.
Yeah. She played the Ford. Yeah. She had an Elizabeth Ford. Yeah. She had an Elizabeth Ford. Yeah. Yeah. She had an Elizabeth Ford. Yeah. Yeah. She had an Elizabeth Ford. Yeah. Yeah. She had an Elizabeth Ford. And it had been a girlfriend of mine. Anyway... That's all I got, and I kind of want to punch you in the ditch. Yeah. I can blame for everything around here. Yeah. It was Buddy's fucking idea, Cooper, not mine. Punch him in the ditch. Got it. Damn it. Right on.
Alright. Thanks for calling in, Cooper. Yeah. Uh, all the way from Alabama. Here comes Allen. Hey, Allen. What's up, Allen? What's up, Allen? What's up, Allen? What's up, Allen? I got nothing. That's stupid, me, but... Okay. I agree. Just like comedy is stuff, but... Yeah. I don't think I've seen any horror with her, and it's really... Yeah. I didn't like her, and I didn't like you. Uh, it wasn't my favorite. It was fine. Yeah. Anyway, I don't know who Mr. Darryan is.
Okay. What's that comic comic we can? Ooh. Oh, nice. Then my kid, she wanted to meet Andy Bersek from... Let Bill Brods, he was in America, and say, what's the name? Okay. That's all I got. Right on. Very cool. Thanks for calling, Allen. Uh, he called back. Alright. He's got more on his mind. Howdy, Roon. What's up? I forgot something. Huh. Last week, on the meet-hook, the movie I were having trouble with, uh, the movie 13. Yeah. It's the car. The car. The car. The car. The car. The car.
The car. The car. The car. The car. The car. The car. The car. The car. I think that's a better people car would be than Christine. Okay. Oh. That's all I got. I'll tell you later. Right on. Check that out. Thanks for calling, Allen. Yeah. The car. Alright. Right on, dude. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So we're going to give you another week or two to get your picks in. Uh, buddy and I are going to make ours and I got Jason Harrell sitting right here next to me.
So we're going to, we're going to make our picks, announce the fights and then we'll pick up the, uh, tournament next week. Alright. Can't wait. Here we go, buddy. It's on. In the meantime, we got a movie to get into. Yeah. It's a bad time. It's time of year. How many times is he going to tell us? Oh, that I'm telling. I love fairy tales. The same don't fairy tale little girl. If you don't take it seriously, you're a fool. The first Valentine's dance in 20 years has to be something special.
Look, Lander, you thought I'd get a lot of exercise if you're going to grapple with gretches. Oh, yeah. Well, I got a Valentine for her that she's never going to forget. Right to the heart, huh? And this town on Valentine's Day, everybody loses their heart. Roses are red, violence are blue. One is dead and so are you. Can't be happening. No! Can't be happening. What's going on, Oran Valentine Bluff? Looks like Harry worked back in town. It happened once. It happened twice.
Cancel the dancer it'll happen to Grace. In the town of Valentine's Day, there are many ways to die. Take your pick. My bloody Valentine. My bloody Valentine, buddy, from 1981. Yeah. 6.2 stars on IMDb directed by George Mehalco, written by Stephen A. Miller, starring Paul Kelman, Laurie Halner, and Neil Affleck. This is 1981 town. Yes. And we're in... So I almost feel like I miss something culturally by skipping over the blue collar town slash blue collar experience. You know what I'm saying?
Yeah. And it's not to say that... I mean, this is like a peak snapshot into a whole other lifestyle, right? Yeah, really. These guys work hard for probably 10 or 11 hours a day. Go home, eat dinner, go to bed, get up, rinse and repeat until Friday rolls around, and then we set it going home, we go straight to the bar, and then we get shit faced, probably all weekend, and then we get up on Monday and do the whole thing all over again. Yeah. And it's not to say that that's a bad way of going...
I'm sure these guys are happy, you shit. They look happy. They do. At least for the purposes of this film, until either A, their body start to give out on them, or B, that mind closes, in which case they're completely fucked. Yeah. So, there's that. But within that narrow, probably, I don't know, 30 to 40-year range, they're living pretty good, you know, and as long as they're able to work and they enjoy work and they like the dudes they're working with, and you know, they're...
I'm sure money's good too. My walk has to be, yeah. That's like a high risk profession. Yeah, they seem to be having a good time. So, I wonder if there's like, on the happiness index, who do you think is happier? That guy, or the guy that like lives in a penthouse apartment in New York and is constantly under pressure from executives and things like that. Ooh, yeah. Because you know, I mean, the blue collar guy, he's secure. Right.
His, the scope of his experience is very small, but he's very content within that scope. On the other hand, the penthouse guy is constantly under pressure and under dealing with this boss and that boss and we have this project going and that project going... I don't know, I don't know. Yeah. I'm just putting it out there. I don't mean to get all philosophical on it. So, when you just start blaring Huey Lewis, then just start killing people with an axe. Kill the people with an axe. That's right.
Get a weird, uh, raincoat situation on and go to town on, uh, Patrick Payton. Yeah. Or whatever his name was. Right on, dude. Well, this is, uh, we're going to stay in the small town for the purposes of this film. We're actually going to start off in the Hattigar Mine, which is a coal mine. We are in a small, uh, mining town off the Nova Scotian coast, um, in Canada. Hattigar Mine, we get, uh, two miners going down in the mine, very creepy, all by themselves.
Uh, although they got all the gas masks on and the, the, the, the big jumpersuits and the helmets with a blamps on them. And for some reason, they're carrying pickaxes. Mm-hmm. They have no intention of doing any mining down there, except for in one of their vaginas. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They get down there. You want to see my pickaxe? Yeah. One of the miners, uh, takes their helmet and gas mask off and we realize that she is a lady. Oh, yeah. And a pretty hot one. Yeah, she was.
Which begs the question, and this is something else that I probably missed out on. Uh, the small town Hussie. Mm-hmm. Yeah. They can be just as hot as the big city Hussie. I imagine. Apparently. They just kind of learn to get down in different venues, such as a coal mine, subterranean situation. You can get fucked down there if you want. That's right. Do you want to feel like you're close to death? Sure. Let's go get it on. Where there's a lot of dirt in bugs.
Yeah. And possibly, uh, sulfur poisoning. Yeah. Okay, anyway, uh, we find out that she starts disrobing and kind of, uh, squeezing up on the guy. He's refusing to take his mask off. Mm-hmm. Uh, she's got a pretty nice body on her. She goes all the way to a bra and panties. And then this dude just kind of picks her up and impales her on what appears to be like a random spikes sticking out of the wall. Yeah. Pretty rough. And if he could have just held off on that. A little bit longer.
A little bit longer. He probably could have got a piece. Mm-hmm. Whatever dude, apparently he wasn't all that interested. Nope. That's the beginning of our movie. Now we cut to, uh, our movie proper where we pick up. We learned a little bit more about this mining operation. We are in the town of Valentine Bluffs. Uh, again, I suppose off the Nova Scotia coast. Um, very small town, very blue collar. Dependent largely on this one mining operation owned by, uh, Mr. Hatiger.
It's called the Hatiger Mine. Uh, I believe they're mining coal because everybody's coming out of the mine covered in black stuff. Yeah. So I'm going to go with coal on this one. Um, pretty, pretty, uh, like I alluded to earlier. Pretty small town. Everybody seems to be pretty content. Everybody's getting along pretty good, at least up to this point. And, uh, not a lot of drama, a lot of alcoholism, Mm-hmm. A lot of chasing around of the towny girls.
And, uh, you know, eventually you find one, you get a pregnant, you call it a life. Yeah. That's fine. Not wrong with it. Uh, we're going to, we're going to pick up with our coal miners as they're coming out of the mine. Uh, we got a pretty good crew here. We got, it's your typical 80s cast of, um, cannon fodder. Most of these guys are going to be dead by the end of the movie. Mm-hmm. You got a scumbag guy who is, uh, kind of shady.
You got the practical Joker guy who refuses to take anything seriously. You got lover boy who, of course, is going to be our protagonist. You got, uh, fuckface who is going to be our antagonist. Mm-hmm. And then you got like a, uh, big burly guy who's going to be the peacekeeper. You find this cast of, uh, chuckleheads and pretty much every 80s. Every movie. Yeah. Slasher movie. Yeah. It's fine. Not wrong with it. We come to love these people.
Um, so our, uh, our protagonist is a guy by the name of TJ, TJ Hattiger. Now, his dad owns the Hattiger mine. Well, we don't know just yet is that TJ took off just seemingly out of the blue, uh, about a year ago, and went to live on the West Coast. Yeah. Uh, didn't quite make it, or had to, uh, bring out a money or something, had to come crawling back to Valentine's Bluffs and go back to work for his dad, which completely sucks for TJ. Mm-hmm.
Now, the thing about coming back home, buddy, is that you can't just pick up your life for your left off. No. For example. Yeah. One's girlfriend may in fact be dating one's other friend now in the void that you left when you split. Yeah. So what happens? Fuck me if that's not exactly what happened here. TJ's old girlfriend, Sarah, is now with his best friend, Axel. Yeah.
I mean, I guess if you leave, you know, Bros. Before Hose is kind of void if you just leave the whole, anything, it sound like nobody even knew he was even coming back. You vanished. Yeah. And this is, this is 1981. There's no Facebook post. Right. No text messaging. You might get a letter in a mail. After you get back. In an envelope. Yeah. You can stand on it. Right. That's what we're talking about. What's that? Oh, he moved to Hose. Nice for him to say so many. He's seen him in four weeks.
Yeah. Uh, so that kind of sucks, but he's thinking like I'm going to get back with my girlfriend. And she's already moved on, bro. She's with Axel now. Yeah. Axel seems like a good dude, but he's got a very dumb face. Yeah, he does. He just looks like such good. You. Maybe we should drink a beer afterwards. He just strikes me as a dollar. Yeah. And here we have. But he's probably the next best thing in the town. I mean, yeah, do you see the rest of those losers? Right.
Uh, so that's kind of where we're at. And that's our Valentine Bluffs love triangle. So they all get out of the mind. Apparently it's Friday night. They all race to their cars. One guy's got like a weird half of a VW bug truck situation. Very interesting. Yeah. Soon he built it himself or something. And off they go to the one bar that they have in town. Yeah. I don't know who's in the small town like that. I'm sure it's all there is. If you own that bar, you're making fucking money. Mm-hmm.
You are big time. Oh, yeah. Big time, baby. Uh, anyway, they all go to the one bar. And they all sit around and smoke cigarettes and drink beer. Uh, good for them. Income Sarah, Axel's girlfriend. Mm-hmm. And that's where the tension begins between TJ, Sarah, and Axel. Mm-hmm. Um, it's there. You can tell right off the bat that Sarah just wants to do a swan dive right on to TJ's penis. Oh, yeah. Uh, Axel's trying to pretend like it's not happening, but he knows fucking well what's happening.
Yeah. Oh, shit, he's here. I know exactly. Oh, yeah. Hey, boys, TJ's back. Fuck. There's plenty of other Tony girls. Yeah, I mean, all of a sudden I start hearing that song, the girl is my, my, my. No, no, no. Uh, so that sucks, man. But that's how it is. Yeah. And you know, tensions are flaring up between Axel and TJ. We've got their big fat friend, Hollis, there, to keep the peace. Mm-hmm. He's got a very exciting mustache. Yeah. And they're playing the knife game on the table.
I'll, uh, Bishop and, uh, aliens. Yeah, that was hilarious. They're not very good at it. No, the Axel damn beer lose a finger. Mm-hmm. Good for him. Uh, and this is where the, uh, shit starts to go down. So what we're going to learn through some exposition and dialogue here is that this small town is having a Valentine's Day dance. Now, being called Valentine Bluffs, I would assume that they would have a big party on Valentine's Day. Mm-hmm. It's only natural. Right.
And this is the first Valentine's Day dance that they've had in 20 years. Yeah. There's a reason for that. We'll get to that in a second. Uh, incomes Mr. Halagher. He owns the mine. He's TJ's dad. And apparently he's also like the mayor or something. Yeah. Because he seems to just be making the rules around here. Yeah, on the fly. Yeah. And, uh, I mean, I get it. He's basically keeping everybody in that town alive. Yeah. So there's that. And the town is so small like that you probably can.
Yeah. You can get away with something like that. But I mean, some mayor and Reno just started doing, hey, I'm going to start doing this. I'm going to start doing this. Be like, oh, yeah. Fuck you. Oh, no. No, no. You can tell that that's the dynamic because the police chief is just following Mr. Hatagher around. Yeah. And he's basically doing whatever Hatagher tells him to do. Mm-hmm. So that's pretty cool. Everything's going pretty smoothly.
We have like a, I don't know if it was like a church or like a bank. Or like a banquet area or something like that, but there's setting things up for the big dance. And somebody left a Valentine's Day box for Mr. Hatagher. No. So he comes out and he's like, whoa, somebody's got a secret admirer over here. Oh, look at me. Hopefully it's one of those high school cuties. I know. I could still bang a townie girl. Uh, him and the police chief get in the car and drive off.
And that's when he opens it and discovers a human heart. Oh, shit. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Was it covered in chocolate? No. No. And they don't do that. Oh. Uh, now there's a cute little limb Rick that goes with the human heart. It says something to the effect of, uh, don't have the fucking dance because I told you not to. I'm going to kill you. You think you're going to have a dance. I'm going to keep killing people unless you call the dance off. Yeah. I'm paraphrasing obviously.
But that's what it says. Uh, now we're going to learn a little bit about what's going on here. There's a lot of people who are in the police chief. I mean, there's a lot of people who are in the police chief. And I'm going to be a some dialogue between Hattaker and the police chief. Apparently, there is a lunatic out there by the name of Harry Warden. Yeah. And he's been known to kill people on and around Valentine's Day. And, uh, that's why the town shut the whole shit down 20 years ago.
Because he came back and started jacking people on Valentine's Day. Issued a warning that if they had a celebration again on Valentine's Day, then he would come back and continue to killing spree. It's very tough. So they're like, ah, fuck, don't say anything to anybody about this. We'll get to the bottom of this. Excellent. Uh, now while that was going on, we have a, uh, more with the love triangle stuff. Uh, Sarah is like, it's like side eyeing TJ and giving him the fuck me eyes.
And she's kind of cute. She is. And, uh, I got the steel book. I got the steel book. Oh, yeah. I got the steel book right here, buddy. Watch out. Hey, hey, easy now. This thing's made out of pure steel. Don't drop that on your barefoot. Oh, my gosh. Look at how heavy this is. Uh, there is a reunion convention that was filmed as part of the bonus features for that thing. The chick that plays Sarah, still reasonably bangable. Yeah. I would say there's been some, uh, some upkeep surgically.
Mm-hmm. And she looks alright, I think. Yeah. Uh, anyway, we get a lot of love triangle stuff going on here. Uh, tempers are flaring between TJ and Axel. The whole thing kind of culminates in a half-ass fist fight, sort of, but like more of like a tussle and then haul his grabs him and then they end up drinking in a junk yard and making weird carburetor TV dinners. Yeah. That's something you don't see in a big city. No, definitely not. Hey, you want to get hammered?
Alright, I'll meet you at the junk yard. Yeah. Bring some hungry man. This is a real junk food right here. Hey, put it on. You stop it right now. Let's put it on the carburetor and it'll heat up. Hey, that's great. Guess that's what you do. I mean, there's only one bar in town. Yeah. And if it closes, where else are you going to go? The junk yard. And bring some hungry man. Uh, that's what they do and then the whole, they, TJ and Axel kind of square off for a second. I guess we got a problem.
Yeah, we do. Uh, well, you know she wants to be with me. No, she doesn't. She's with me now. Well, hey, how about this? How about we just let her decide who she wants to be with? Right. You know, it would you want me to do? Pay you 500 bucks and then you break up with her and then she has to come with me. Great. That's stupid. Right. It's a dumb thing to do. Whatever.
It's weird, but that's the crux of this movie is these two assholes trying to figure out who she wants to be with, even though it's pretty obvious. Uh, then, uh, they get into like a weird half-ass shoving match. Hollis breaks it up and he's like, you guys used to be best friends. What the fuck on around? Hollis probably kicked both their asses. Uh, um, next day at the mine, now things are really starting to, cause I, starting to heat up, cause I guess Axel is technically TJ Supervisor.
So he's trying to pile all the shit work onto TJ. Yeah. Uh, TJ's like, no, fuck you. I'm not doing that. You can't make me do it. And no, okay, we're not going to have any fighting. And this is a really weird part where TJ, uh, like after work lets out, he's like, I'm going to fight you into parking lot. But instead, he runs out of the, the mine jumps in his car, Hollis asks into town, basically abducts Sarah from her pharmacy job. Yeah. Uh, forces her into the car with him.
I want to go into the car. Well, you're going into the car and then drives her out to like a weird beach where they have a long romantic talk. A little parking ride. That's what it is. Um, they hang out there and then he's like, hey, I'm sorry, okay. And she's like, you shouldn't have left me. You never told me I thought you were dead and he's like, well, I'm not, I'm back. So, about we just, uh, you know, pick up where we left off. She's like, now he fucking asked when he's like, I love you.
Sarah, no, I love you, Sarah. And she didn't end up making out. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I guess we can pretty much count that as a win. Uh, while that's going on, we're going to cut to the laundry mat. Yeah. Where, uh, old lady by the name of Mabel is tidying the place up. And, uh, goddammit, somebody didn't leave her. A, uh, fucking heart. A Valentine box. Spokes, hopefully filled with chocolate. Mm-hmm. Uh, she's like, oh, it's the sheriff. He's always been in to me.
Uh, pops it up and it's another bloody heart. Oh. Shit. Yeah. Uh, another little limbic about don't have in the Valentine's Day dance or somebody's going to get killed. Mm-hmm. And then of course, our minor pops out. We get to see this dude. It's the same guy from the beginning. Uh, he's got on like the minor gear and the gas mask and he fucking tags her with the pickaxe. Mm-hmm. And, uh, that's the end of Mabel. Shit. All right, that sucks. Uh, cut to the next day.
Uh, the share, the police chief gets a Valentine dropped off. Uh, of course, it's got the human heart and he's like, oh shit. I got this human heart. I don't know where it came from. And then I got another one, which means there's a dead guy around here somewhere. Uh, at this point, Hattigar's like, okay, we need to get the professionals involved here. Yeah. Let's take these human hearts to the crime lab over in the other place. This is a neighboring town with a crime lab. Mm-hmm.
We'll have them check it out. Uh, they take them over there. They find out that the, uh, human heart is from a female. So like, okay. Uh, it's got to be Harry Warden, the crazy bitch. He heard we're having a Valentine's Day dance and he broke out of the mental institution. Now he's killing people. Mm-hmm. So they call the mental institution, trying to figure out if he's still there or what his deal is. Uh, the lady there is like, well, we don't know. Well, we don't know.
We'll just have to get back to you in a day or two. Yeah. You don't have a record of who you have in the mental institution. Yeah. She got a lazy excuse to it. Somebody don't want to do her job, buddy. Uh-huh. Yeah. She should not have been paid for the last three weeks. Right. Instead of you, you were out there working watching TV. Mm-hmm. She's telling people to fuck off. Yeah. So that sucks.
Uh, we don't know if Harry Warden is out or loose or what the hell the problem is or who's killing people and ripping their hearts out. And why they're delivering them to the town officials. Uh, Sheriff is like, okay, well, I'm going to go check on Mabel. Goes to the laundry mat. Uh, it's completely like closed up. He goes in there. He's looking around. There's blood. All the heart decorations have been turned upside down. Upside down. Mm-hmm. Ominus. And apparently it smells in there.
Yeah, well, I imagine it would. He's like, okay, Mabel, where are you there, hot stuff? Uh, one of the dryers just pops open and there's a burnt up Mabel. Mm-hmm. Apparently she's been on the spin dry cycle since the previous night. Yeah. She looks like Freddie Krueger and a cheap blouse. Mm-hmm. Uh, she is, so she's done. And of course that was her heart, obviously, in the second Valentine. Okay, creepy shit, man. Stuff's really getting nasty here. Mm-hmm.
So the police chief and Hattaker decide, okay, all right, we, enough's enough, bros. We got a shutdown of Valentine's Day dance. I know, I'm sorry, people are dying. Um, we just got to shut it down. So, that's right. Police chief goes over to the dance hall where there's a putting up decorations. It's like, yeah, yeah. I am sorry. Mabel had a heart attack, so let's just go ahead and X-Nay, the Valentine's Day and stay. Mm-hmm. And they're like, just son of a bitch!
This is our first Valentine's Day dance in 20 years and you're going to kill it now. It's, this is like, by the way, the morning of the big dance. Everybody is right pissed off. Um, everybody wants to start a fight with the police chief, all of a sudden. He's like, well, yes, I am doing that. And I am sorry, because, hey, Mabel's dead. And this is when the speculation starts coming in. The goofball guy is like, I bet Harry Wardens out there and he killed Mabel.
You might be right there, goofball guy. Uh, so then we get the bright idea. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, Hollis, I think, comes up with it. Why don't we just have a Valentine's Day house party instead? Yeah, great idea. Let's do that. Who's going to put their house up for the house party? Not me. I don't want you fucking chain smoking alcoholics hanging around my house. Right, I'm still on my place trashed. So I guess the idea to start with was that they were going to have it at the mine.
But like in this weird above, above ground, rec room area. Yeah. Now while this conversation is taking place, this whole conversation is happening at the one bar in town. The bartender whom might as well, we might as well just call him Crazy Ralph. That's basically the purpose of this character is listening. And he's like the crazy Ralph of the movie. He's like, you stay out of that mine. And don't be having any parties on Valentine's Day. Yeah. And he's going to get you.
And what you're going to do when the 24 pythons getting new sort of you. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. And they're like, what are you talking about there? Crazy Ralph the bartender. And then where we get a flashback sequence of what the hell Harry Warden is and his problem. So 20 years ago, 1960, it was Valentine's Day here at Valentine Bluffs. And they were getting ready for the big party. There was two supervisors still in the mind and a crew of about five dudes.
Supervisors got a little antsy in the panse and they didn't wait for the five dudes to come up before they took off to get ready for the dance. Right. In the meantime, the gas levels got dangerously high down there and there was an explosion. Kaboom! The five dudes got trapped underground. He took the townies a while to figure out what happened because the party wasn't full swing and the loud music and the dancing and all that.
And by the time they figured it out, the five dudes had basically killed and eaten most of each other. Well, really it was just Harry Warden. He was working five guys down there. By the time they dug him out, he had killed the other four guys and eaten them or at least gone completely insane and was chewing on feet and stuff when they got to him. So he's bad shit, crazy. Half him committed. Wonderful. Oh, fucking fire. Well, no, they didn't fire the two supervisors.
That's neither here nor there. Fast forward a year after that, 1961, Valentine's Day. They're getting ready for their big party again. Out pops Harry Warden and he kills the two supervisors and a couple other dudes that get in his way. They catch him. They put him back in the battle institution. He warns the town to never ever have a fucking Valentine's Day party again or he will break out and kill a few other guys. They are clear.
They are clear. They listened for 20 years, but now they've decided it's time to move on from an old Harry Warden and get things crack a lacken. This is gonna be the re-up of the king. Yeah, old fuck. Go ahead. Good. Come on out here. You piece of shit. So that's... You shouldn't talk shit to the deranged senior. You shouldn't do it, buddy. Old man's strength is real. Put a little psychosis behind it and give them a pickaxe. You're gonna have a problem. That's the big flashback.
Now everybody's freaked out. But we're gonna go ahead and have the party anyway. You know what? Fuck that shit. And TJ, who is technically part owner of the mind, he's like, yeah, we can do this. We'll just keep it in the rack room. Everything would be cool. Park the cars around, back so nobody sees it. Nobody's gonna be the wiser. It's gonna be great. So that's the plan. Valentine's Day night rolls around.
Everybody rolls over to the mind and gets set up there in the old rack room or whatever it is. The night before that, crazy Ralph the bartender gets a wise idea that he's gonna scare the kids off by rigging up a hairy, warden animatronic. That was actually pretty cool. It was pretty... He had a little too much fun. Yeah, he did. He definitely did. He was really. He was proud of his work. He was. And he had to test it 14 times. I know. I was like, really?
Every time he tested it, he enjoyed it a little bit more. Yeah. Really though, somebody could have got hurt with that. Because the way that thing worked, he basically took one of the mining suits and he affixed a, I don't know, like a fucking broomstick or something for an arm and then he duck taped like a pickaxe to the arm so that when they opened the door to the rack room, the pickaxe would come up. And if somebody wasn't paying attention, that thing's gonna catch him right in the chin.
Anyway, as of... But like he tested it like 17 times, opening the door, the thing pops up and he... Howls maniacally, then he locks it back in place and opens it again, thing pops up. Howls maniacally. Yeah. Finally, he's like, okay, I think this thing works and he starts walking away. But then he's like, I gotta do this overtime. I just see it one more time, buddy. Woo! And he opens the door in this time.
So, actually, is our killer and he takes the pickaxe and swings it right up into his chin in Crazy Ralph. The bartender is now out of the equation. It sucks. But the body is gone and by the time the kids get there to set up their party, it's... I don't know, I don't know where any of the bodies went. We never found out, anyway. Anyway, here we go with Valentine's Day party. The kid's role is... The miner's role in with the towny girls. As far as party places, it's not that bad.
I mean, they had a foosball table, a couple of pinball machines. They had a little kitchen area off to the side. You could do worse. Yeah. First ball town, it was pretty good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They roll in there and everything's going pretty swimmingly. Scumbag guys like, hey, I'm gonna get on that Susie rotten crotch over there. Some random check walks by with like a six pack of beer. She goes into the kitchen area and he follows her. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna go in there and get me some.
He goes in there and he sees a pot of hot dogs boiling on the stove. And our miner guy grabs him from the back of the head and drowns him in disgusting hot dog water. That is... That was so gross. Possibly be the worst way to do that. Yeah. Not hot dog water. God, that's gross. Hot dog water. First off, who the fuck boy? Well, I can see boiling like a... Apples. So I've had boiled hot dogs once and they come out very slimy and like... Grey. A little bit, yeah.
But they're like mushy on the inside, which is really gross. It is. I'm not like a hot dog connoisseur or anything, but you gotta grill those fuckers, dude. That's the only way. Or microwave or something. There's something. Boil them. It's gross. Yeah. Not to mention. I don't know what boiling actually does to them. Well, it's kind of like cooking on my guest, but it just gives them... They come out like a limp cock, buddy. That's the problem I have. When I bite into a hot dog, I want that snap.
You know what I'm saying? Or what like the snap explosion in my mouth. That's what she said. That's exactly right, buddy. I don't want like a... I don't want like a... Sorry. Like an old man. Sorry about the hot dog. Yeah, it's cool that was that. Anyway. So, scumbag guy gets killed by being drowned in disgusting hot dog water. That is the perfect name for a screamo band. Hot dog water. Hot dog water.
He gets his body stuck in the freezer and nobody notices it because nobody particularly liked that guy. From there, we get up to the mine. One of the couples decides they want to go have some sacks in the weird mining, minor, changing gear staging area.
Now, this place is creepy as shit because apparently what they do, they take their coveralls and their helmets, and they put them on some kind of pulley system, and they raise it up to the ceiling, and that's where all their fucking clothes and gits all just dangling from the ceiling. So, you walk into this place and it looks like there's just a bunch of people hanging out on the roof. Start with. And then when you're ready to get dressed, you pull the little thing and your outfit comes down.
And then you're good to go, I guess. So, she's there and there making out. She's like, how does this work? And he's like, oh, you just pull this and then your clothes come down and you get your coveralls on. Okay, cool. Oh, by the way, I need another beer. Be right back, babe. He goes in there to get a beer, and of course this is when our minor Harry Wharton strikes and gets hurt. Oh, yeah.
Apparently, they also have a shower area because he kills her with the pickaxe, but then impales her like the back of her head onto the shower head and turns the shower on so that you have like a blood geyser coming out of her mouth. Yeah. That was pretty cool. That was pretty cool. Here comes Hortie Jack on his way back with a six pack of beer. Thinking he's about to get his not polished and he finds his dead girlfriend. He actually escapes this part. He goes running back to the party.
Oh, my God, he's dead. There's all the things. Unfortunately, that happened a little too late because everybody, all the other couples in the party have decided it would be a good idea to go down into the mind to have sex with each other. Now, good news and bad news. The good news is this Hortie Little Expedition does not include either TJ or Axel because just prior to that, they had the big showdown. Oh, yeah. Who's going with the... Come on. What was a bunch of a showdown? No, not really.
It was like, hey, Sarah's with me now. And TJ's like, whoa, yeah. Why don't you tell him what we talked about earlier, Sarah. She's coming with me now. And he's Axel's like, what? And TJ's like, yeah. And then, like, finally, Sarah stands up and she's like, fuck you, fucking guys both. Because I don't... I'm not either one of your fucking properties and I will decide who I want to be with. And right now, you're both kind of cramping me, so just fuck off the both of you.
And then, of course, Axel throws a little temper tantrum. Angrily opens a beer. Oh, yeah. You see that? It was a very passive aggressive. Yeah! With the beer. Yep. And then goes storming out and slams the door behind him and then finds a quiet quarter to sit down and cry. Can't let him see you cry, Axel. That's right. You can't let him see you cry. You go out there and you punch something. It's what you got to do. You got to find a tree or a... If you find TJ's car, you punch that. That's right.
You fight those feelings down. If you can get your hands on some hard alcohol, that helps a little bit, but not too much. Or if you beat off in a bush. Sometimes that helps. That'll take the edge off for a little bit. Well, that's going on. So I've been told, buddy. That's what I heard. Oh, okay. Got to be a man in these situations. I didn't cry. I go beat off. But I fucked a shit out of that bush. That's right. I'm probably going to fuck that one later. I made that bush cry. That's dirty.
Anyway, well, that's all happening. TJ's going to be dead. I'm going to be dead. I'm going to be dead. I'm going to be dead. I'm going to be dead. I'm going to be dead. I'm going to be dead. I'm going to be dead. That's all happening. TJ's like, whoa, whoa, whoa. You fucking asshole's can't go down to the end of the mind there. Hollis is like, okay, no, it'll be okay. We're just going to go down. And then we're going to take the thing and we'll come right back up. Down and back. No problem.
TJ's like, you're an idiot. Watch the gas levels and all that stuff. And Hollis is like, yeah, okay. So Hollis, Joker guy. Hollis's girlfriend, who I thought was actually one of the hotter chicks in the whole movie. And Sarah, all hop on the little mining tram situation. Yeah. Which actually looks like a lot of fun. Yeah, it did actually. It looks like an Indiana Jones writer. So hop on that and go tearing down down to the bottom of the mine. They're having a blast.
They got a bunch of beer and stuff. Oh, yeah. They get down there and blankets. Yeah, because there's about to be some fucking going on down. Somebody getting pregnant in the mine. Money. They go down there and everybody's hooting in hollering, having a great time. I think if the evening had not gotten so bloody and things had transpired according to this, I think Sarah would have ended up with the prankster guy.
Because if you watch the scene where they're going down, I'm just talking out of my ass here. She has snuggled up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she was. There it is, dude. That's called trauma bonding. He's a fucking asshole. He's also a fucking asshole. I'm just a good-hearted prankster. That's right. Come on over, sweeping. You can cuddle up next to me. I'm perfectly safe. Yeah. I'm not going to punch you. I'm not going to punch anybody. And I will definitely not beat off in a bush.
At least not in front of anybody. That's right. Except for that one bush. That was kind of sexy. Yeah. Six bush. Yeah. Anyway, they get down there. Everybody's having fun. One of the couples goes off to like a side shaft so they can have sex over there. Hollis and his girlfriend are hanging around. Sarah's there and a prankster guy are kind of fucking off a little bit. And this is when the minor strikes first. So the first couple that went off, they are trying to get it on.
But the lights in the mine are being smashed one by one. Oh, yeah. Leaving them in darkness. That was pretty bad. Yeah, it was. He catches them. He kills them. He gets the girl first. The guy tries to go back to get some help. And then the guy gets the dick acts also, of course. And then that's about the time that I think it was prankster guy finds their bodies. So he comes, okay, we got to get out of here. There's dead fucking those two over there. Dead now. We got to get out of here.
They hop back on the mining cart. Apparently there's some kind of a pulley system that like brings it back up. They hit the switch for that and it doesn't go anywhere. It's not disabled. So like, fuck. Okay, we got to have to run for it. So they take off running and the first person they come to is Axel. He's like, hey, I saw you guys come down here. What happened? I thought I saw some dead bodies back there. Like, yeah, we got to get out of here. So he tells them to wait right where they are.
He's going to go get help and try to get the fucking cart thing going again. He takes off while he's gone. TJ shows back up. Yeah. He's like, hey, where's all this? What's going on? Okay, we got to get that thing running again. Axel was just here. He's going to go get it working. Okay, I'm going to go find him. You guys stay here. They take off what you're left with is prankster guy Sarah, Hollis and his girlfriend sitting like in the central hub. Prankster guy is like, I'm too scared.
I'm just going to run for it. I think I know the way out. Sarah and the girls like, not a, get your fucking ass back here, Jack. At this point, Hollis is like, okay, there's a shaft right over here with a, like a backup control thing or whatever. Maybe I can get that going. You guys wait here. Hollis goes over there and I think he got killed with a nail gun. Yes. That's what I thought. Yeah. I couldn't tell what the contraption was. Yeah, it was a nail gun.
Okay, he takes a couple of 10 pennies to the forehead. Doesn't kill him outright. He like staggers around drunkenly, but eventually he gets, makes it back to where everybody else is. And then he kills over dead. And now we have a real problem because this is clearly not a prank, buddy. No, no. There's some real dead folks going on here. Unfortunately, prankster guy loses his shit and just kind of takes off. Leaving Sarah and Hollis's girlfriend there.
TJ comes back first and he's like, okay, I couldn't get it going, but I know my way out of the mind. You guys come with me. They take off going like walking and then out of nowhere, Axel like pops out around a corner and smacks TJ in the gut with a big log thing. Yeah. Whoa. And Axel's like, oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought you were the killer. He's like, no, I'm not the fucking killer. I'm trying to get out of here. So now we're down to Axel TJ, Sarah and Hollis's girlfriend.
And they're trying to get out. In the meantime, we get to see prankster guy get killed. He, I think, took the pickaxe right through the top of the head, which was nasty because you can see it like in his mouth. Yeah. He's done. They get going. They have to go across some kind of a bridge with like a channel of water running underneath it. It's narrow and they think the killer is right behind them. So Axel's like, you guys go first. Make it over there. Get over there safely.
So TJ, Sarah and the girl go across and then they just hear Axel go, and then a splash. So they're like, okay, shit. What happened? I don't know. I think Axel's dead. They go back for him and all they see is his helmet like floating in the water. Yeah. Like, oh shit. Yeah. Okay, fuck. So they go taking off again. They get on, I guess they found a working mind-tram situation. They get on that. They hit the go button or whatever and it takes off.
But the killer pops out and he hops on the last car. So we get like this cool Indiana Jones thing where they're all fighting the killer. Unfortunately, this is when the other girl gets killed. She gets thrown off the cart and like impaled on, they get a lot of like loose spikes just sticking out of the walls. I've never been in a mind. I hope that's not a thing because it seems very dangerous. Yeah. Like that placard that says, how many days without an accident?
Yeah. That thing goes back to zero all the time. I imagine with all these loose spikes sticking out. So that sucks. She's out. The tram gets back to where it's going, which is the mouth of the mine where, you know, they can get out. But unfortunately, the killer is right there with him. So what ensues is a big kind of fist fight like samurai showdown with pickaxes between TJ and the killer. So we can now affirm that TJ is not the killer since they're fighting each other.
They get into like this weird side room where there's a bunch of pillars holding it in a place. And as they're swinging their axes at each other, they're not going to pillars down. And like more and more of the wall is collapsing. Sarah gets out, makes it to the mouth of the mine where luckily the sheriff has picked up on what the fuck was going on this whole time. And he's got like three or four other dudes with him. And they're all just kind of camped out there.
She's like, oh my god, we need help. At that point, like TJ manages to knock the killer out and pull his mask off and fuck me if it's not axel the whole time. Yeah. But it was axel the whole time. Easy. Shit. They get TJ out of there. Axel gets trapped in that room because they knock too many of the pillars down. All the sheriff and his guys come running and they're like, what happened? Like it was tea tea or it was axel. He's been killing people this whole time.
And the sheriff is like, yeah, we know. Turns out so now we get another quick little flashback here. Turns out Axel was the son of one of the supervisors that Harry Warden killed when he busted out a year after the accident. And he saw the murder. And ever since then, he's been a little on the nut baggy side. And now because they're having their dance again, he kind of dropped into Harry Warden mode and started killing folks. Yeah. So that sucks. Well, all that was going on.
They're trying to dig Axel's body, I guess, out of the rubble. And they're handing off rocks. And they come across his arm sticking out. And Sarah is like, oh, I want to see him. I want to touch him one more time. Why? I thought we were past this, Sarah. I thought we were over Axel and him killing folks. And you wanted to be with TJ a minute ago. But she goes and touches his hand for a second. And then he grabs her arm. And there's like a back and forth for a second.
Then you cut to inside the rubble pile where Axel is cutting his own arm off. And then running off down the mine shaft. I'll get you again, you fuckers. That's pretty much into your movie, man. Yeah. What do you think of my bloody Valentine? I like it. It's a good show, right? It's a pretty good... Zero nudity. I could have swore. You're right. No, yeah, I could have swore. And I watched the director's cut, too. No boobs in there. I could have swore we saw some nipples. No. No, you're right.
You're right. Pretty good, pretty good, stand a little slasher from the early 80s. Yeah, definitely. Oh, it's got everything you want. It's got plenty of kills. Some scantily clad young ladies. Very, very attractive. Little love triangle there in the middle. Get a little bit caught up in that for a second. You do see dudes butts. A lot of dudes butts. A lot of naked guys showering with each other. Yeah. You know, if you got to do it, you got to do it. Yeah. I don't know.
You know, I'll take a shower when I get home. And it's not because I'm insecure. I don't want to see anybody's weener. But it's just I've always felt weird talking to it, dude, while I'm in the shower. I'm saying, hey, what are you doing? Right now, I'm soaping up my nuts, man. What are you doing? I don't know. Maybe it's just me. That was my bloody Valentine. As I mentioned, I own the stream book or the steel book. I got it from a screen factory. Where did you watch this, buddy? Prime.
Prime. Check it out on Prime, if you're interested. Great show. I did have to rent it. Oh, yeah. Well, $3.99. Yeah. It sounds about right. The remake is not bad. It's not as good as the original. No. They twisted the ending instead of axle that was TJ. Right. So there's that. Other than that, it's fine. Check it out if you're interested in made some sure you've seen it. Give it another watch if you're in the mood for a early 80s slasher. We'll do it. Let's do a break. Oh, yeah. Great show.
Still in my eyes But something changed, what am I saying? Here can slow thoughts and it's more than trash A lot of pride in the waterline Pull up the folder and the pool is tied With all the liquor I've been drinking I guess it could be mine Pull up the folder and the pool is tied I'll be the fifth I wanted it to my grave Last night's chaos
Glitter and sweat Theon lights and the band they say I brought the night now it's time to regret But never thought I'd see a sight like that yet Sparkling water in the morning light But there's a shadow in my sunny light Pull up the folder and the pool is tied With all the liquor I've been drinking
I guess it could be mine Pull up the folder and the pool is tied I'll be the fifth I wanted it to my grave Pull up the folder and the pool is tied With all the liquor I've been drinking I guess it could be mine Pull up the folder and the pool is tied I'll be the fifth I wanted it to my grave Crime
Hey and mates If you like what you hear Head over to the Patatroom Facebook group and support us through the Patreon link with a small monthly donation Check out the T-Villain link at www.patatroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show
Hey and we are back buddy Yeah Oh buddy buddy I think it's time for three on a meat hook Yeah Three on a meat hook This week's meat hook Horror films from the year of our Lord 1981 buddy Hit me with number three when you're ready Possession That is such a weird movie, isn't it?
So weird Yeah Sam Neal Uh huh That hot chick She's like a Polish supermodel She's like a writer name Yeah Leave your husband to go fucking octopus Right Yeah Basically what it boils down to It's a weird movie So I watched it I watched Joe Bob did his breakdown on it
And he's like the amount of knowledge he has about the You've seen it obviously That scene in the subway Where she completely loses her shit Yes So apparently the director told her He slapped her in the face Pointed in her Got her face and said I want you to fuck the air And then action
And that's what happened Wow Yeah Now watch that scene again And tell me if she didn't pull it off Okay Because it is bananas That is such a weird fucking movie Yeah Alright, anyway Alright, my number three Go story Okay What are my favorites?
Yeah Very good One stars Jonathan Hausman, Fred Astaire, Melvin Douglas And Greg Wasong And that was the day that I realized I had a bigger penis And Greg was all That's right I do I am better endowed than that guy If nobody else Thanks to that one percent Silly and Murphy also I suspect
But great gothic horse Yeah it is It's a good one Everything you need You got the small town with the secrets You got the dilapidated mansion on the outskirts That nobody goes to But nobody can really tell you why they avoid that house It all just kind of It's a great campfire story
That's what I think Yeah That's my number three How about number two The Evil Dead Okay Yeah Yeah, that's my number one Oh Yeah I can never not watch the original Evil Dead So there's a lot of like Speculation as to how That franchise is supposed to fit together Right
Because it doesn't make a lot of sense No You have Evil Dead Which is great You have Evil Dead 2 Which is basically a retelling of Evil Dead 1 Right Only as if a couple of the characters never existed to begin with And then of course you have army of darkness Right And then trying to maybe
Evil that well you can get into Ash versus Evil Dead Right Which is basically comedy And then you have like Maybe that 2013 kind of fits in somehow Right And you have Evil Dead Rye Right Which might kind of come in And add more Yeah Yeah Now we're going in an old kind of other directions
So who knows do I love it I kind of tell you man I saw that I think I was seven years old the first time I saw it I don't know that I had any business watching that at seven years old My dad I had my mom Both sat grew up in an 80s house Right You had the two lazy boy recliners
But to chain smoking both of them Me sitting on the floor In between them Popped in Evil Dead Tree Rape sequence Nobody says a word Sitting there with my eyes the size of dinner saucers Wait for somebody to say something Is this what's happening? Is what I think is happening?
Is she going into her Up her Nobody says what I'm just watching the movie No, it's what it is Yeah Jesus fucking Christ Scared the piss out of me Alright, well that's my number one also my number two American Werewolf and London That is my number one Son of a bitch Son of a bitch
I can't get enough of that movie either man The way the comedy works so well with the The gruesomeness Yes And I don't think we're ever going to get a better werewolf Oh, transition no The wolf itself Yeah That thing was more of a gorilla I thought Yeah Just the way it like lumbered around
And it had that big bowl head on it Mm-hmm Fucking yes Oh yeah You don't want to call it Nazi mutants I guess In the middle of nowhere with oozes shooting up your house Oh man What the fuck Mm-hmm Yep Zombie, Griffon done hanging around Telling you to kill yourself Dude Did you ever see American Werewolf in Paris?
Yeah Not good Oh, it's me It's very easy for a Werewolf movie to get killed by the Werewolf And by that I mean you might have a great script You might be chugging right along But if we see the Werewolf and it looks like shit Yeah We're done Yeah, it came over
That's what happened for me in late phases I saw the blanche du Bois, Werewolf, and all that Oh yeah You put fucking lipstick and hoopier rings on that thing No, I'm done And it's not to say that it's a bad movie Because it came out I believe I'm talking about American Werewolf in Paris
I believe it came out in 99 or 2000 They really wanted the CGI to be good But it wasn't It wasn't Yeah It just really brought the whole shit down And it had some comedic moments also Oh yeah All right, anyway That's our meet hook for the weekend mates Top three horror films from 1981
I think you'll find this one much more challenging than you think There are a lot of really good horror shows Yeah, there is Came out in 1981 Let us know by next week if you have time Mental Health Hotline of course Area Code 7753870275 Or just go to paddedroompodcast.com Hit the male link and let us know that way In the meantime, buddy, are you ready?
I'm ready To return Oh yeah To the terror dome, let's do it No tears please It's a waste of good suffering I'm not gonna hurt you You didn't let me finish my sentence I said I'm not gonna hurt you I'm just gonna bash your brains I'm gonna bash them right the fuck I'm gonna kill you
I'm gonna kill you I'm gonna hit you I'm gonna kill you We're gonna dream come true Six year old child Look at this Blind, ill, immobilized face The blackest size The devil himself Welcome to the terror dome We are just gonna make the fight announcements tonight in mates I have chosen 32 competitors
Some new ones, some old ones Some things different places we haven't been before We've already got a couple of picks in Jason Harrell of course has chosen Jason Voorhees And Australian Tim has picked the predator So those two are off the board Everybody else is wide open Until I make these announcements And then Buddy and I are gonna make our picks And then those two will also be off So here we go, fighting out of the asylum conference Round one, Jason Voorhees versus Pyramid Head What?
Yes Maniac cop versus pinhead Frankenstein versus Pennywise Ghostface versus Candyman Sam Samara from the Ring movies versus Radu From the subspecies movies Interesting Zeno Morph versus Ginger from Ginger Snaps John Kramer versus Annabelle And Wolfman versus Kyoko
Fighting out of the inferno conference We have Michael Myers versus Pumpkinhead Creature from the Black Lagoon versus Herbert West Otis Drifwood versus The Creeper Chuck E versus Norman Bates Leatherface versus The Tall Man Dracula versus Arthur Clown The Invisible Man versus The Toxic Avenger
And Freddie versus The Predator Fights will pick up next weekend mates Get us your picks before it's too late And while you're contemplating that Drawing up plans and diagrams And consulting charts and graphs Trying to look at who may have an edge over who We're going to tell you what movies we got to watch this week And another segment called What Are You Looking at? Yeah What are you looking at? I got a few movies in this week What we do in the shadows from 2014?
No, nice classic Oh yeah it is I wanted to show it to Dick and he watched it He loved it, he thought it was hilarious A movie called Climax Since nobody got it, I'm going to go ahead and tell you This is who educating Darian from last week It's a film called Climax That's not the one that you saw
Vastly different from the performance piece Oh yeah That you watched This is the one that I was talking about You got a group of elite dancers Soquestored in this warehouse to practice their Choreograph routine for this big TV talent situation They've got it down Everybody's very excited
They're going to be performing live on TV in a week They have an party to celebrate How they've come together and got this whole thing ironed out Somebody puts acid in the punch Oh Like not like boil your face Acid, the narcotic From there everything gets crazy weird
It's kind of cool because this was directed by a gas barn away So it's all one continuous take These two guys are fighting And you hang out with them for a minute As things are starting to escalate And then the camera just slowly pans over here Where you have these two lesbian young ladies
And one of them is trying to get on the other But the other one is not that interested And then you hang out with them for a few minutes And then you come over here Where the director of this whole dance ensemble Has brought her son to this party
And she's like trying to get him tucked into bed for a second And now the acid is starting to kick in So the camera comes over this way Where the two guys that were thinking about fighting Are now swinging at each other And then as the movie goes on The camera never stops
It just kind of slowly pans around And there's like 25 of these dancers So there's like a DJ You go up and you he's like contemplating going gay And thinking about being a cross-dresser And like there's another cross-dresser there That's trying to convince him to do it
But he's like I don't know, my family And then we swing back this way And then it just goes on and on And things just escalate And escalate and naturally By the time they break the doors open to this warehouse They raise them killing each other Everybody's already dead
Except for like three or four of them So it's a whole lot It's actually a pretty good show Wow, sounds like it It's interesting And not anything I would watch like on a regular basis But I did buy it on Blu-ray So there it is There's that for you I watched that And then I got another movie on Blu-ray Called Come and See Have you heard of this?
I think so War movie Supposed to be one of the most brutal war movies ever made Made in 1985 by a Russian director The plot of the movie picks up in World War II Where the Germans have moved in They've invaded Poland and are now moving east into Belarus And you have a young kid, probably 14, 15 years old, finds a rifle And decides he's going to join the Belarusian resistance He starts off, you know, all piss and vinegar I'm going to go kill the Nazis and get my country back and all that stuff
And as the movie progresses, he just sees one horrific thing after the other And it just grinds him down basically to emotional dust And by the end of the movie he's just like this hardened, grizzled veteran With like that thousand yard stare Oh yeah
I mean, it's got some moments, but I wouldn't say it's not that bad As far as the bridge, there's one sequence that's pretty tough Because it's kind of drawn out, you know what's going to happen Right The Nazis have kind of taken over this village And they put all the women and children in this barn
And nothing good is going to happen No, no And because it takes so long while they're rounding up the kids And they're all screaming and yelling, no, don't take my baby And they're shoving them into this barn It's the build up to that It kind of is the more disturbing part
But once that actually goes down, you don't really see much So while the implication is very disturbing The actual cinematography isn't that bad It's like a two hours and 45 minutes Damn You really got to slog through this one And there's a lot of weird metaphorical stuff
A lot of him looking directly into the camera and monologuing for 10-15 minutes Oh wow So it's not a bad show, I would recommend watching it once It's not as bad as like a martyrs I don't think, or a... I don't know, I didn't watch this coffee table movie But apparently that's got some stuff So right on, that's all I'm looking at, buddy, what do you got?
I remember when Channel Zero came out No Yeah, yeah, yeah I just rewashed all four seasons Oh, that a boy Those are actually really good Yeah, they're not bad I wouldn't say they're American Horror Story But I wouldn't say they are much more horror shows Yes than American Horror Story Yeah
American Horror Story gets into weird sex and relationship stuff These things are just straight horror Horror, yeah Yeah, I enjoyed those, it had been in a few years since I checked it out So it's like What's your favorite season? Ooh I'm gonna go with... I knew you were gonna ask this too Um... I think it was season three Is the one with a... And not the door Shoot Yeah My... I think my favorite was the one with that extreme haunted house thing Remember that one?
Where they had to go to the house There was like a pop-up haunted house, haunted attraction But then it got into their heads and they made it out But then the next day everything got really weird Oh, yeah, yeah Then they'd stayed with them They had to go through different levels to try to get out
Yeah, I think that was season two I think I think you're right Yeah The pirate cove one, I wasn't mad at It is okay I just didn't understand the point of having that teeth guy Yeah And that was the first season Yeah It had some creepy moments But you got a guy made out of teeth that really isn't doing anything Mm-hmm And there's... There's supposed to be the brother and there's a whole weird thing I know I know I did, but he didn't really...
He's just kind of lumbered around He's got... he's made out of teeth Great Yeah Get some toothbrush I don't know, I don't know Right on And uh... AHS, uh... Season Two, Asylum Okay I'll check that one Where do you think of that?
I still like it Yeah, so I'm just slowly going through You know, the American horror stories, you know Of all the seasons of American horror story I think Asylum has the most beat-off potential to it Like with Chloe Savini's character, the Ninfo Maniac Oh yeah There's some scenes, you're like, how the fuck did this make it on a network TV? She is cranking some shit in some places Whoa, whoa, whoa Chloe, what are you doing there?
Calm down Yeah That's it Okay, we'll have some immersion therapy then Mm-hmm AHHHHH! Immersion therapy What'd you think of conference? I love this movie Yeah, it's pretty fun Yeah, it's a fun flick, yeah Yeah, it's your standard, you know, it's almost summer campy, ash, ish, slasher, territory But it's not to be taken seriously No You know what it reminds me of?
Do you, I think it was Friday the 13th Part III Where they were basically doing the same thing But they were having like a paintball war out there And Jason Voorhees somehow stumbled into it and killed all of them With their own pit, shooting them with paintball guns And he's just stabbing them with machete That kind of felt like that if it had been made into an entire... Right Yeah, it's a fun flick for sure It is Yeah, it's even a foreign film Yeah, it's, what is it, Danish I think?
Yeah, something like that It's still a good show You knew that there was going to be some shady business practice And that was what was going to be the caveat that started the whole fucking thing There's that, you know, cast of completely disposable office workers Get died, get killed with all of their passive-aggressive nuances Yeah, some good kill scenes in it too Yeah, they weren't bad They weren't bad at all I liked it a lot What do you got for us this week, there, buddy?
Alright, this week let's check out 2016 before I wake This is about a couple that adopt an orphan child whose dreams and nightmares manifest physically as he sleeps And you'll find this gem on Netflix Check that shit out in mates will do the same in compare notes next week Yeah
But now it is time to educate me I need you Educating Miss Monica I'm gonna go on a go First my clues from last week If you haven't figured it out already in mates, I'll break it down for you again I am an elite dancer sequestered in a weird warehouse to work on my dance routine
and choreograph it with everybody else's Everything was going pretty smoothly until somebody put some acid in the punch and then things got really weird And now most of us are dead, I am of course climax that I just talked about Yeah It's not a bad show
You could watch it once and probably be okay with it That's probably all you need really Alright It's got Sophia Batella in it I still think she's fucking sexy Yeah Yeah, I don't care if she is a dude She's got some broad shoulders Man, I don't know what to do
Here's a scene where she takes her coat off and she's got like a spaghetti strap thing Got some Looks like she could probably chop down a tree Damn I'm not calling her a full lumberjack But I think she could probably manage chainsaw I'm really saying wow Who might I be this week you ask?
Well buddy, I am a picture-esque suburban dad I have exactly one semi-attractive wife, one teenage daughter and one son Everything is picture-perfect I've got the kid in Little League, my daughter is Okay, not my favorite out of the family, my wife obeys my every order completely
Into the best of her ability Everything is going swimmingly until I was out hunting one day And found a feral woman in the woods Now I could call the cops, I could see if she needs help She could bring her some food, instead what I'm going to do is abduct her and chain her up in my wood shed I think Where?
I will do some things with her And hopefully she doesn't get loose because if she does, there's going to be blood buddy Oh boy So I got to get to rapin, I guess And keep this young lady captive for as long as I can Alright I might have you asked tuning next week and I will drop some melaton mates
And the meantime, I think that's about going to do it for us Tom Hardy, we did receive your voicemail but we're just going to hold it for next week Because you are really late, man So you know what time we record you fucker Get out of here Anything else on the week buddy?
No Alright Four, feral women, kept in wood sheds Jason and Absentia, Monica and Absentia We haven't heard from it a while Hot dog water Hot dog water, man Boyle hot dogs for that matter Disgusting Get a fucking grill, why don't ya? Stand alone, slasher, the teradome But get us your picks for by next week also in mates Buddy, who are you picking? Let's before we close this, who do you want? Pyramid head please Pyramid head for buddy, I am going to Oh god dammit, who do I want?
I've taken maniac cop a couple of years and he's always done me wrong I think I'm going to step out of my comfort zone here buddy I am taking the creeper Put me down for the creeper, he's got fucking wings And he can regenerate And he's also got a battle axe And he can drive Yeah that's true
So watch out for that shit, and I'm going to pretend that the last two possibly three Jeepers creepers movies just never happened Yeah So let's just wash that away Let's let it wash over you buddy The creeper and the Pat and Grun podcast I'm afraid visiting hours are over Bye and have a great week What's the know how to survive in the night life? To defend the off the drug from the baseline To decide that the drug goes to a week's noise And I'm going to step out of my comfort zone here