Alright here we go. The Padded Room Podcast is on the air you motherfuckers. My name is Darien and I am back for another week of horror bullshit coming right to your face. Whether you want it or not, you subscribe. You downloaded now your stuck with us, buddies also in the house. Hey what's going on? What's up big buddy? Oh that much. Anything happening? Are you doing your job yet? Yes. Yeah so basically we haven't done any hiring. We haven't done that kind of stuff yet.
Okay. I'm just listening into the meetings. Now I've finally been there for, was this my third or fourth week now? I'm just now starting the whole, hey here's your benefit package. Go ahead and fill this out. Holy cow. Yeah. That's cool. I haven't got my first check yet. I was supposed to be pay last Friday if it was automatic deposit. But because the first one usually comes in the mail. Right. Well it's Memorial Weekend. I didn't get it. Right. So hopefully I get it when I get home today.
We'll see. That's worrisome. Yeah. At least I think I'm working there. Yeah. Are you just hanging around? Yeah. Right hours a day. It kind of seems like it. Yeah. Okay. A little creepy. Well I hope you get paid my man. Yeah. And I hope you actually do work there. Yeah. As far as you know anyway. I know right. And yeah I just hang out there and listen into meetings and I mean, you know but I'll get paid whenever. I can freaking well better.
Dude just go out and hang out and firmly all day for no reason. That sucks. Right on man. Yeah. Well you. We got going. I'm okay. I got the RTO this weekend. Oh yeah. Coming up. That's going to be a tough action. Here we go again man. I don't know why I keep doing this fucking shit to myself. Yeah. It's me and my most massacistic is what it is. Yeah. So those that don't know the RTO is the Reno Tahoe Odyssey. It's a 178 mile relay race. You do it in a team of 12.
And it's basically a 24 to 36 hour human blast furnace of malnourishment dehydration, exhaustion, the tempers get to flaring. You basically live in a van for 24 hours. Yeah. Hot and sweaty. Hot and sweaty. Crotch smell is prevalent and it stays with you. You get out of the van you still smell like a hot crotch. Yeah. In the midst of all that you got to run about 28 to 24 miles. Oh that's it. So there's that for you too. Yeah. Wow. Here we go again buddy. What my seventh? Yeah my seventh.
Why envy you that's awesome. No you do not. Yeah I do. Hey you know it's a good thing that you do it because could you imagine how big you would be? You'd be bigger than me. You know that fat fuck. Oh man. Maybe a big fat fucking guy. Right? Yeah. Don't fucking shit that I eat. And how much of it I eat. I know. That's the only reason I run. I'd look like Dr. Dale if I did. Well I'd like to think of better kept Dr. Dale. Yeah. More energetic perhaps. Well I got some sad news buddy.
Yeah. We had our big going away thing for Mr. Herald. Yeah. It's sad he is official. I mean he's still going to be around you know. I like to think he'll write or call in from time to time and we're still friends on Facebook and I'll be goddamn if I'm not going to text him a dick pic every now and then. Right. Because that I feel like I feel like I own that you know. At least. Here's a picture of my cock. Yeah. Once a month so he doesn't forget. At least.
Yeah. And maybe every now and then I'll throw in somebody else's cock just to see if he's paying attention. Right. Yeah. That's not your winner. That's right. Doesn't look like that 1%. Yeah. Yeah. He will be missed. Yes he will. I like to think that he can contribute from a farm. We did record a little something at the end of the party. Oh very cool. He and him and Jeff and Nicole. I don't think I'm going to error it because I made a big weepy vagina out of myself. Oh. I did. I did man.
I'm going to heavily. I'm basically just going to edit myself. I added that thing completely. Because really it's just me going to say I get a mischievous. So we made it 2015. 3. No more. Oh. Yeah. Too bad I missed that. Yeah. It was stupid. Yeah. Well. The show does go on here in the padded room buddy. We got a regular horror show to get into here. We got listener mail. We got horror news. We got all the usual shenanigans. Let's start things off with the little horror news, my man.
Yeah. Horror news. Horror news. Oh what do you got? Did you see the movie coherence? I did. Yes. What did you think? I liked it. Yeah. I enjoyed it. It's a bit high brow. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. I like it. It's a bit high brow. Yeah. Very conceptual. But I dug it. Yeah. Well, it's finally good as sequel ten years later. Really? Yes. Okay. That's right.
James Ward, Burkets, sci-fi thriller coherence was released back in 2013 and a follow-up movie is on the way. James Ward, producer Kate Andrews, are developing a feature follow-up with Burkets returning to right and direct deadline notes in today's exclusive report plot details are being kept under lock and key including whether the new film will be a prequel, a sequel, or a different story entirely. You know there was no script for that movie? No. They just ad libbed it.
They just add the director would hand them notes saying you know you're trying to leave the house. Oh, sounds like when you're making a porn. Yeah, kind of except you know. Okay, roll over on your back. Yeah. It's sucking. So that's kind of cool. I mean ten years though. That gives me hope that we could still make a sequel to our movie. Yeah. Yeah. Twenty years later. Yeah. Sure. I'll check it out. I'm interested. See you know you got my curiosity if nothing else.
Yeah. How old do you like the movie Megan? It's good. Yeah. I would prefer to see a Gatling gun. Right? Or a plasma rifle. Well, Mondo reveals the first ever Megan 1.6 scale figure. Okay. Yes. Selling for take a while. Oh, okay. So let me give you all the details. I'm going to see what you think. So it's a Megan figure. Right. Standard swappable head. Battle damage swappable head. Okay. Paper cutter blade. All right. Stylus. Swapping fist. Swappable neutral hands. Swappable torn earhand.
Figure stand. Head display. Figure stand. Fabric dress. Fox hair. Bow. Fabric undershirt and leggings. Holy cow. Okay. Yes. All of that in this 1.6 scale figure. 1.6 scale. All of that. I'm going to say what company is making this? Mondo. Mondo. Okay. I'm going to start the bidding at 1.75. 170. You're actually pretty close. It's higher, but you're close. $215. $215. Okay. Yes. It is available starting tomorrow Wednesday, May 29th at noon. Central time. I'm sure it's very impressive.
Yeah. All right. I'm not going to buy it. No, it was fine. The movie was fine. Is there a Megan super fan out there that needs all this crap? Mm-hmm. What was a couple three weeks ago? We talked about the life size Megan figure. Right. I'm sure some predator is already banging the crap out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Modifying it. Well, speaking of those type of dolls and stuff like that, guess what else is coming out? Vincent Price Action Figure from an ECA features multiple heads from different eras.
Yeah. Yeah. This actually looks pretty cool. Yeah. It's coming with an ultimate addition, which is particularly cool about the Vincent Price Action Figure is assembly a few different toys and one capturing several of prices iconic looks throughout the decades. So that. Yeah, seven inches tall. I like that. I'm not going to do the action figure, so. No. Yeah, very cool.
I can tell you right now, my dog is either my dog's going to knock it off the shelf or my son is going to modify it into some kind of a weapon and then leave it somewhere. Either way, the dog's going to chew the shit out of it and I'm going to be out. Or use it for target practice. Don't worry, there's that too. And then I'm going to be out $60 to $100. I'd say. It doesn't say how much it is, but you can expect neck as Vincent Price figure to begin shipping in September this year.
Okay. Yes. That's all I got. What do you got? Dude, dude, dude, dude. I'm sure you've seen him, but I'm going to tell you about it anyway. Okay. Trailers are up for Beetlejuice Beetlejuice. Oh, yeah. Do you see him? I chose not to watch the trailer. I was so close. I was like, oh, oh, nope. I don't know who or what Monica Balucci is doing in this movie, but she is a bit of all right. Oh, yeah. Yes. Okay. I'm not going to, I don't want to tell you, but I mean, you know who Monica Balucci is.
Oh, yeah. Whoa. Yeah. And she is doing well. Yeah. Yes, sir. Yes, sir, buddy. So never thought I'd be able to beat off to a Beetlejuice situation, but I think that's about to go down. Oh, okay. Beetle, Beetle spank. Beetle spank. Beetle spank. I don't know. I don't know. There's some juvenile thing coming there. Bloom House has announced a My Bloody Valentine movie in the works.
Okay. Now, I don't know if we're talking about a remake, sequel, a prequel, a possible sequel to that remake that came out a couple of years ago. I'm into it. I like my bloody Valentine. Yeah. Yeah. It was a good movie. The sequel was okay. I'll say it was okay. That was one of the last movies me and my dad got to see the movie theater together, released in 3D. Wow. The old man was ducking in. Oh, yeah. Dippin. He was not prepared for the full 3D. All right, Skipper, come down. What is this?
He threw an X at me. I just hold on to your pop. So I was taking off the glasses just to make sure. What else we got here? Taro and the first woman are now available on VOD. Okay. We're good things about the first omen. Taro, I heard, was passable. So if you're going, if you need to see him like right now, VOD is probably going to be 20 to 25 bucks a piece. So I say, hang out, wait till it's streaming somewhere. Maybe check out the first omen. I don't know.
I don't know if I want to spend that much. If I want to do that, I might as well get the fucking blue right. Yeah. What else we got here? I've seen knives out. No. It's a good, I wouldn't call it a horror movie. It's like a murder mystery situation. It's got Daniel Craig in it. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good one, right? There was a follow up to that one called. A minion glass on you. Yeah. I have not seen that. Okay, so I saw glass onion, but I haven't seen the first one. The first knives out.
Yes. Okay. I don't know how they tie together. I know Daniel Craig isn't both of them. Right. He's like the main detective. Good news for you. Wake up Deadman. A knives out mystery is coming in that flicks in 2025. Okay. I like that. Yeah. And I'm sure I'll like glass onion. I keep wanting to call it blind onion. I'm right because of pizza place. Pizza place. I'm a little peckish at the moment. I got some good, possibly good news for you. Oh yeah. Maybe possibly.
I think you're going to be into this. Okay. Dexter. Ooh. Original sin. What is this? This is a prequel series coming to show time starring Christian Slater. Christian Slater. Yes. I don't think he's going to be Dexter. Right. Because if it's a prequel, he'll be older. Unless it's like Dexter as a kid in Christian Slaters. Like the dad? Well, the dad was originally played by James Remarrow. Yeah. He's still around. Hmm. Maybe he's like a detective trying to find Dexter. Maybe. I don't know.
I don't know what to think about that with Christian Slater in it. Oh, I'm not mad at Christian Slater. No. So, but I don't know. He's kind of up and down to me. Okay. I get that. Still. More Dexter. Yeah. You weren't too happy with that last Dexter thing that came out. No. So, hopefully this will, this will wet your whistle. Again, get you, get your back. I'm definitely curious. Get you back in the positive of the Dexter.
They showed a lot of him growing up, you know, like little scenes while watching Dexter. So, I don't know. They're really going to have to find somebody good because, you know, when you go watch the prequel and then you go watch Dexter, it's going to be a different kid. There's no way that they're going to get Christian Slater to play Dexter. No. He's older than Michael C. Hall. Right. Or is that his name Michael C. Hall? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, I think so. That doesn't make any sense.
So, you can write that off. All right. That's all I got on the horror news, amigo. You guys have some listener, man. You betcha. Let's get it. Listener, male. Yes, sir, buddy. We got emails and voice mails and all kinds of shit going down. I say we start things off with an email all the way from Sydney, Australia. Here comes team. We'll hear that, Tim. It's for the dummies of horror. You know them. Oh, yeah. You love them. Here we go. Subject line. The time has arrived.
Yeah. Yo, what's happening, my freaks? What's going on? I'm here and ready for another crazy episode with you nut bags. Yeah. Meet Hook. Now, we were talking about PG-13 horror movies last night. Yeah. This is a- this is a- an easy, dude. So according to IMDB, these are all three PG-13. Okay. Three killer clowns from outer space. I could have swore there was a set of boobs in there somewhere. Yeah. I haven't seen it in a while. Right. That- there was a shower scene, though. Maybe it was a side.
Side-boob? Yeah. You could be right. Number two, critters. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a- it's stupid. Number one, jaws. Of course. Yeah, that should- if any- if ever there was an argument for- there is boobs and jaws. The very opening scene. You only get to see them underwater. Right? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah, if anything, that- that movie should definitely be rated R. Right. Just for shark goor. Or maybe because they're so old, it didn't quite qualify then. It could be.
Yeah. It's times of change, I don't know. Right on, Tim. Those are three solid picks. Heck, yeah. Darian, are you Skinner-Marink? If not, I have no idea. I am Skinner-Marink, there, Tim. Skinner-Marink, Skinner-Marink. Have you seen Skinner-Marink, buddy? Nope. I'm the man that you watch it a lot. Oh my goodness. You will probably want to fight me next week. Oh. It's not- it's not bad- well, I can't even explain it, goddammit. So it's almost teradome time, yeah?
Yeah. I'm going to just get my picks in right now. Okay. I'm sure if you're doing both single and team, so I'll pick both if not then well okay. I'm feeling a bit- I'm feeling like a bit of a predator, so- What kind of predator are you talking about there? Right. Are you getting- Chatting up people on the internet again, there, Tim? Easy there, buddy. For singles, I will take predator. For teams, give me the predators. Yeah, you go predator. Okay. That's it for me this week.
Much love to you all and have a fantastic week. Team. Yeah, it's a good time to talk about it, I guess. Yeah, should we do singles and teams or should we split them up again? I say we split- why don't we split them up? And that way we can have a continuous teradome going throughout the year. Okay. Does that make sense? We don't have to take time off. We'll just roll right into the next one. Roll into the next one. Sounds good to me. All right, which we do singles first or teams?
Yeah, let's do singles first. All right, singles it is, Tim, I'm putting you down for the predator, buddy. Well, we have to pick last. Yeah, we have to pick last, but I know who I want. Okay. I'm not going to say it because- I got- I got encouraged somebody else to say it. All right, all right. But I will throw out hits. I'm usually this one. You fucker. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're doing. Put Tim down for the predator. You're locked in there, Timmo. Right on, dude.
That was all we had on the- The old emails there. How about some voice mails coming at us? Mm-hmm. Now, this first one came in in the middle of last week's show. And I meant to play it, but I forgot because I'm pretty shady like that. But here he comes. Mr. Tom Hardy from last week. All right. Hey, yo. What's going on, Tom Hardy? Hey. Patatling. My favorite degenerates this week. Oh, pretty good. Good. Doing good. I hope I actually got in on time. You did not move.
Hey, let me get in really quick with the educating department. Thanks for the easy one. Yeah. I just got in there. Oh, well, yeah. You have all the problems wrong. They just wasn't. And the right spot. Oh, you're fine. Also on the meat hooks there. Yeah. I got to say, I never cared for maybe critiquing, especially growing up, I always felt like, I want real horror. I get that. But, you know, I didn't catch a few. And there were a few out there that aren't bad. So what do you got? The it's one.
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. That's what I wanted to say. What do you got? The it's one. Obviously it was. That's right. It's pretty bad to have. The first part, obviously there was a second part. I agree. That still holds true. I agree. For the new one. But I was pretty good. Another great one was the stand. Oh, yeah.
A lot of people are going to talk some shit on it. Oh, it wouldn't matter. I really liked that. Right. is that Stephen King is not very good at fucking finishing the movie. It's true. Great idea. Yeah, brings you along with it. And then it's a kind of clunky-ass for both of those. And then another one of those guys. I remember actually liking quite a bit. I actually rented it at the VHS. I didn't even know it was. It made a TV movie called The Midnight Hour. Oh yeah, buddy.
The VARpert trying to be horror, but it's a little bit silly. I don't even know. I don't even know who it's on purpose silly. It was like, anyway, that's all I got. Kind of a family. Love you like family. Bye now. Love you too, Tom Hardy. It was kind of like a family friendly horror movie kind of a thing. I watched that as a Halloween special. Oh god, I had to be five, six years old, something like that. Wow. Yeah. That was something, buddy.
Midnight, the Midnight Hour. I'm going to see if I can find that on Blu-ray. Yeah. I don't know why I don't have that. Right on Tom Hardy. Thanks for calling in, man. Now let's get to this week's emails. All the way from Alabama. Here comes Alan. Hey, Alan. What's up, Alan? I hope everybody's doing good. So meet up PG-13 horror movie. I'm going to go with Monster Squad. I know why you don't like that movie. Yeah. Then I'm going to go with Krampus. I do like that movie. I love that movie.
It's not only his PG, but it came up before PG-13, and I feel like it will be PG-13 now. I'm going to go with the car. And Mr. Gary and your Sucka-Marik. And the Sucka-Marik. Anyway, talk to you all later. Bye. Sucka-Marik. Sucka-Marik. I didn't catch his last movie. Did he? No. Thor? Flar? Gar. It sounded like bar. Rawr. I don't know. I don't know, Alan. I can make it out of you. I mean, either. Right on, dude. I am in fact Skinner-Marik. Uh, yeah. I'm going to take some shit for that one.
Let's get up to Anderson, Indiana. Newcomin' the house. Good evening, guys. What's going on? I'm going to get my meat hook for I forget to make my call. Sure. So here we go. You had PG-13. Yes, sir. PG-13, horror movies. Number three, I have the ring. Number two, I have the grudge. Very nice. And I put the number one, uh, I had insidious meat. I saw that one in the theater. That the eagle in front of me jumps so bad. It made me jump. It jumped so hard.
Okay. Wow. And I'm going to tell you when I knew the clues. I knew what the hell educate was this week again. But I don't remember what the clues were. I know I knew it. Okay. As long as you know. We'll take you over for tonight. Right on, Koop. Thank you. Yep. I, uh, I, I recommended Skinner Marine to Kooper. He was not happy with me at all. It's, it's, it's not... It's not... Spray to get like an email that says, Asshole is a subject like that. You fucking fuckhead.
It's a hard movie to watch, dude. And it's not because it's like brutal or... I can't even say it's bad. It's like it's almost not even a movie. Huh. It's really, it's something, man. All right, here it comes again for this week. Tom Hardy in the house. All right. Hey yo. Hey, Joe, what is this? Pat at Rome. How's my favorite degenerate this week? Better. Better this week. Well, I do a bugotting on time. You made it. Yes. I gotta do better. Oh, yeah. I just wanted to get in really quick.
Uh, don't know who you are and the, uh, educating department. It sounds like Skinner Marine. You got it, buddy. Yeah. I think that'd be kind of cheating, because I never seen that flip before. That's okay. But, um, if someone talks about it sounds like it, also sounds like a piece of shit. But, again, I'm not seeing that flip. Yeah. Um, on the meat hooks, you know, I wanted to get in real quick on that as well. It's interesting, because last week, you had the May for TV movies. Uh-huh.
I said to myself, man, there aren't no good May for TV all. But then you do a little research. Hey, you know what? There are a few out there. There is a few. Yeah, there is a few. Even though, I think I'm a shorties with, could actually be, could actually be better if they were far more. I agree. I agree with you. I was still from GoodTG 13, and there's more than I thought. Okay. So let me get in there with number three. Let's go with tremors. Oh, I know, yeah. And then that's what it's got.
No business being as good as it is. I don't know if it's just like, it's like a monster kind of flick with that kind of high level, you know, acting and special fast. Sure. Yeah. I have a good one. Number two, twist that I absolutely fucking love is the last exorcism. Oh, okay. Hard art could have done so much better. And then, yeah. Number one, of course, final girl. Again, final girl. Hard art, I think, would have been so much better. It should have been. Yeah. Anyway, hope always well.
Love you, like, family. Goodbye. Love you too, Tom Hardy. Thanks for calling in, man. Hell yeah. He makes a good point about final girls. That's a movie about a rated R movie. And yet, we're stuck in PG-13 land. It doesn't quite make sense that you wouldn't show the... Well, yeah, it's fine. It's still a good show. Right on, dude. That is all we have on the listener mail. Do you have anything for... Oh, Tom Hardy. You thought last week's meat hook was bad. Wait, are you here?
What we got for you this week? I don't think we're gonna get... I think they're gonna give us the silent treatment. Yeah, but this one. They have cold shoulders. You want the fuckers? I don't think we can go any lower. And no, this was a reach. And I'm gonna go ahead and tell him right now. Oh, great. It's your idea. Gee, thanks. You got anything for Tom Hardy, Koop, Alan, or Tim? Thanks for calling right in, guys. Absolutely. Let's get this fucking over with.
Mmm-hmm. Remember, Frankie's been very generous till he stayed here. Don't worry. I'll be gone before you know it. I'm not gonna be anything for you. I can still move my leg. I'm supposed to help you transition to a life in a wheelchair. I'm gonna fall out there. We're connecting with the flow. And my sword was finally flowing. Is that phone's... ...who created you? And you say, you're back. You're in your attention, club. You're in the attention, club. You're in the attention, club.
You're in the attention, club. You're in the attention, club. This house is haunted. Before he would do anything, right when it to two people. They want to have a never-ending act. They want to be... ...injured. Injured. We've got all of our files. And we need them to be spirit-y with them. One, two, three, four. Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Where do you go, man? Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop! Mummy Dearest, buddy. Mummy, fucking Dearest from 2021. Got.
How many stars do you think this got? Do I think I'm going to say 3.5? You're high. Oh, wow. You're high. 2.3 stars. Oh, my gosh. You're a 9-DB. Written by Jared Vinyr, directed by White Cross. Is that an actual person? That's a person with an 9-DB page. I don't know if that's them. There's Re-Days real name. Yes. Wow. Yes, them, Thays pronouns are on their 9-DB page. This movie is not rated. It stars Jennifer Caza James, Jamie Valentine, and Anna Sherman.
We also have a litany of D-Less celebrity's appearing in this one. I think between the four or five of them you get a combined 3.5 minutes of actual screen time. You got Tara Reed. Yeah. You got Tara Reed. She has one line of dialogue. Yes. You got Lou Farrigno. Yeah. Incredible Hulk. Michael Perry. Eddie and the cruiser's fame. Oh, yeah. And who, Richard Tyson showed up. Yes. He had zero dialogue. Nope. He just got up and left. That was his whole part of the movie. Okay. Man, oh man. This is...
That's probably what he left the whole project. Hopefully, hopefully he's like, what is this? I'm out. I'm out. We're going to use that. I don't understand how projects like this get funded. You know what I'm saying? Somebody actually took the time to write this. This white cross individual said, I'm going to make this into a masterpiece. And somehow attached these delist celebrities. How does this happen? I don't know. I don't understand how this happens. Whatever.
I understand the delist celebrity showing up because they probably made at least $1,000 a piece just to go and say there are two lines of dialogue. Right. Probably wrapped that up in an afternoon. I'll show up for $1,000 after that. There you go. That's how they did it. Yeah. So that... But as the movie, the entire thing, I don't know how... All right, whatever. I don't care. I don't care, buddy, is what I'm telling you. We start off in a medical office.
And we have a young, attractive young lady working behind the desk. This is a chiropractor's office. And the A4 mentioned Richard Tyson is in the waiting room. He's just there kind of hanging waiting for somebody to call his name. So he can go to get his spine adjusted. And the receptionist's mother comes in. Yeah. And she is a right-see-you-next Tuesday. Yes. She comes in and immediately starts accusing Richard Tyson of uglying her daughter. And she's like, you just get out of here. Get!
You go and get! Get! He's there for a chiropractor's appointment. But he's like, doesn't want any part of this, so he just gets up and leads. Right. So then we meet this young lady. Her name is Autumn. She's the one behind the desk. And her mother, the redhead, is the one that's being the pushy bitch. From there, we get some dialogue between Autumn and her mother. Mom, you can't just show up and push people around like that. She's like, he was gonna rape you. And basically a bunch of nonsense.
Yeah. Now, before we get any further into this bullshit story, let's talk about the acting of Anna Sherman, who played the role of Autumn. I was really hoping she'd have an only fans page. No luck, huh? Not that I was gonna subscribe, but I would just like to know that for later, you know, put that in my back pocket. She does not, very attractive young lady. Yeah, I thought so too. Cannot act her way out of a paperback. No. Severely monotone. Hired on looks. Definitely.
And probably had sex with white cross, I would say. Probably. Or if not, she fucking well should have. Or he should. Then they should, they should have had sex with Adam, whatever. Anyway, the mom is playing a right bitch. Her name is Jocelyn, I think. Or something like that. Janet. Janet. Damn it, Janet. Can you take an acting class? Anyway, she'd be in a real bitch. And then outcomes the actual chiropractor, who works in this place, played by Michael Paray, his name is Dr. Jason.
Yeah. And he's like there to actually do, like chiropractic. Chiropractic. Chiropractic. Chiropractic. Chiropractic. Chiropractic. Chiropractic medicine is what I'm thinking of. He comes out, and he's like Scarlet. Her name is Scarlet, by the way. He comes out, he's like, hey, it's time for your appointment there, Scarlet. And she's like, yeah, okay. Now, this is where we find out that Scarlet herself claims to be a medical practitioner. She does a form of chiropractic called cranial sacrum.
Yeah. And she does a form of chiropractic called cranial sacrum, which is an actual thing. And I checked White Cross's IMDB page. He's done two other movies about cranial sacrum. Oh, that's funny. So I'm willing to bet that he has some knowledge in it. I keep calling him. He, they have some steak. It's like some kind of weird holistic chiropractic, like a masseuse, really. It's like a bunch of weird horse shit involved in it. It's interesting.
Yeah, anyway, we'll get a little snapshot of what this is supposed to be later. She's like, hey, I practice cranial sacrum. And he gets her back there and starts adjusting her and stuff. And he's like, oh, you got this tight spot down here in your lower back. And then he does like a flying knee drop on her. Yeah, that was so weird. Okay, that's a little strange. Yeah. But somehow it paralyzes her. Clearly. Uh-huh. So that fucking sucks. Now, number one, we're going to, okay, that's the end.
I'd want my money back. To say the least. But we are going to jump a couple of months into the future, where she is now paralyzed from the waist down in wheelchair ridden. Mm-hmm. And, uh, okay. So we just have to write a few things off. Number one, apparently no malpractice suit. Number two, no insurance settlement, which there would be. Oh, yeah. Number three, apparently she's unable to work now. And by work, I mean, do her cranial sacrum crap.
So she has to move in with one of Autumn's boyfriends. Yeah. A guy by the name of Frank. Mm-hmm. Okay, very strange situation here. Oh, yeah. I don't think she's moving in there. I don't know. I don't know. It's a weak, it's a very weak plot point that doesn't make any fucking sense whatsoever. Right. We have to just write this off. Mm-hmm. All right, she's moving in with Frank. And by her, I mean, it's paralyzed Scarlet. Now let's talk about Frank here, buddy. Mm-hmm.
Frank is a bit of a character. Mm-hmm. Now he's allowing Scarlet to move in with him on the pretense that she can use her cranial sacrum powers to heal his hands. Yeah. Because Frank is some kind of a pianist. I don't know. He's very good at playing the piano, but he can't anymore because his hands are jacked up for some reason. Yeah. And I wanted that here in a few minutes. She's like, yeah, but, okay. So you move into Frank's house. Frank is basically living in a...
What struck me as a miniature golf course, if it was all centered around ancient Egypt? Yeah. Like there is a very heavy theme of Egyptian stuff in Frank's house. Uh-huh. And every wall is covered in some kind of an Egyptian mural. He's got a bunch of a new best statues all over the place. It looks like the gift shop at Luxor. Yeah. I would say it's probably the best way to describe it. With one dilapidated ass bathroom. Yeah. That bathroom was jacked. Oh yeah, it was. Get a fucking...
Yeah, you know, whatever. That's interesting, and it doesn't make a lot of sense. And what makes even less sense is that this is not a handy, capable house. No. Scarlet cannot get around in her fucking wheelchair. Anywhere. So, how does that make sense? All right. I'm thinking way too much about this. Anyway, Scarlet gets in there. Her and Autumn are not getting along because Frank is clearly a weirdo. The guy that played Frank, Jamie Valentine. You can tell he really wants to be Jason Momoa.
He's just not willing to put the time in the gym. Right. Or get the correct tattoos. Right. So he's got the facial hair down. He's got the long hair down. He's got the... The Fabio switch. Yeah, he's got like all the correct like, you know, throwing his hair back moment movements and all that stuff. He really wants to do Jason Momoa. He's just about 90 pounds to skinny. So he's working on it though. He's trying. He's got that look down though. And he's a bit of a weirdo.
He's always hanging around with a shirt off. Not really necessary with his physique, but what about him? Apparently he... It gives piano lessons to pay the bills, but he's having trouble with that because his hands are jacked off. So that's what's happening. Now, from the second Scarlet rolls her wheelchair bound ass into the place, she immediately starts having weird visions of a mummy buddy. A weird mummy.
Now I get it. This house has clearly got very Egypt's centric theme and decor, but she immediately jumps into mummy mode. Okay. Yeah. Alright. Done make a lot of sense. No. But whatever, man, it's cool. I'll roll with you. Yeah. So Scarlet and Frank kind of strike up an uneasy relationship. It's a two story house. And Frank lives downstairs. Scarlet pretty much has the entire upstairs to herself. It's like a little loft, her bedroom, and then a really crappy bathroom.
And like basically she's not allowed to go downstairs. Frank said it's off limits. That's his area and definitely don't go in the backyard because you know, watch out for that. She's also got like a little deck that goes outside of the living room area. That's kind of cool, yeah. And it's of course the whole thing is in Los Angeles, so she rolls herself out there. And she can see the LA skyline very nice. Okay. So things are a little uncomfortable at first.
And Scarlet rolls in there and starts making demands about, oh, this can't be here. And that can't be there. And it almost fell and hit me and blah, blah, blah. And here comes Autumn who is clearly banging Frank. And she's like, mommy, you're dead of my life, fat. Except she says it in a very monotone kind of flat type of a way. So here we go. We're going to start Frank's therapy with this cranial sacrum crap. He goes ahead and strips down to his underwear and lays on the massage table.
And then Scarlet rolls out. She's like, you don't have to be naked. Yeah. This kind of car practice. All right there. A little overzealous with the underwear there. I should try that with my car back here. Just starts to strip it. Just taking a little. Yeah. What are we doing, doc? Yeah. Thought we were, you know, you're going to feel me up. She rolls herself out. And then we get a half ass explanation as to what the hell cranial sacrum is.
So as she explains it, and I'm going to butcher this because I don't really give a shit. Spinal fluid moves from your brain down your spine into the rest of your body. She has to sink the flow of her spinal fluid to match his. And then their spinal fluids will be in sync rhythm and harmony. And then she can then better assess what ails him and move his spinal fluid to the correct healing state, buddy. Don't look at me like I'm a crazy person. Too late.
People actually believe this shit, apparently. So we got the candles going and the music and the fucking she starts with the, like the. Wax on wax off, but doesn't really get the one touching him. No, just doing a lot of weird hand stuff. Yeah, I really want to touch you. But I'm not. I'm not touching you. I'm not touching. I have to breathe, breathe with me. Okay, weirdo. Right. And of course, because apparently this is where the whole thing starts. She starts with a scalp massage.
And when she starts in with the scalp massage, she starts getting like flashbacks. Going and digging into Frank's past as to what the fuck is going on with him. Mm-hmm. Now they start this process and she starts, she's like somebody flopping down some stairs. And she sees some people in like weird Egyptian garb. And then there's a knock on the door, buddy. And the whole shit gets interrupted. Mm-hmm. So she's like, well, let me go ahead and go ahead and to the door.
So she rolls herself over to the door and she opens the door. And it's a giant black man. Wow. This guy comes from. This is the kind of thing that sort of irritates me about Hollywood. And I don't get it. The giant black man is none other than Quentin Aaron. Mm-hmm. And he's playing Quentin, a guy named Quentin Jones, I think. But it's Michael Orr from the Blind Side. The guy that played Michael Orr, who did a great performance on the Blind Side. Oh, yeah. And now he's doing this crap.
Come on, man. You can tell me we couldn't find a better role for Quentin Aaron. Right. He's in like a real movie after he did the Blind Side. Now he's doing this shit. Ah, that's disappointing. It's all about who you know. Apparently so. Anyway, he's there. He's like, oh, whoa, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt you there. He says he's a Jehovah's Witness and gives her like a religious pamphlet to get. And Frank immediately hops up. He's like, that goddamn Jehovah's Witness.
That's fucking guy, but then he just like storms off. Frank's a bit of a fucking asshole. And he acts like a spoiled brat a lot too. She's like, oh, Jesus, I don't know. Well, we'll try again maybe tomorrow night. And then that's the end of their cranial sacrum session there, buddy. So she goes on about her business and so does Frank. And Adam comes by again and she is fucking Anna Sherman. She is banging hot.
She is like, oh, yeah, I need to find her in like a bikini or I was really hoping for the only fans thing. But goddamn it. There's money to be made there, Anna Sherman. All go as high as $4.99 a month. No, I won't. No. Because the wife will see that. That's the streaming service. That's true. The wife will see that on the statement and be like, ah, you fuck her. That's right. So the streaming service is out. That's for fans of horror stuff. Yeah, only horror. Only horror. Horror fans.
The one that I got. Oh, did I get the role one? That's right. My wife's not an idiot. Anyway, she comes by and Scarlet is like, there's something going on here. I don't know. I keep seeing this mummy chick run around and there's something wrong with Frank. He's a real weirdo. And she's like, God damn it, mummy, stay out of my life. Okay. This is my boyfriend and I don't want you screwing it up. That's the kind of acting we get from Anna Sherman.
Unfortunately, I get, you know, maybe give her a couple of more shit movies. Maybe she'll get better. Maybe. Or take some acting classes or do some modeling work. Anyway, big argument and then Autumn is like, you know what, mom? If you don't quit fucking around, I'm going to cut you out of my life. And Scarlet's like, I just go ahead and go then you fucking asshole. And then she leaves.
And now we cut to Autumn kind of cruising around the house, going out on the deck, basically pissing her day away, but having these flashbacks and weird, this mummy shows up periodically and just scares the piss out of her. The mummy didn't look that great, but I imagine they were on a tight budget. Right. I'm willing to cut them some slack on the mummy. Yeah. It looked, not, it looked something you could buy out of a spirit Halloween store. I would say. Yeah. It's fine. They probably did.
Yeah, yeah, go ahead. Hey, you got to do it. You got to cut some corners here. That's right. Do you want Lou Farrigno in your movie? No, you got to go to spirit. You got to go to spirit. Because she's going to want at least $1,000 for his afternoon of work. That's right. Speaking of Lou Farrigno. So she gets bored. She opens up the religious pamphlet that Michael Orgave her, and he has crayon in there and big bold letters. Get out of this house. And then she's like, what does that mean?
Oh. She rolls herself out on the patio, and she sees Michael Org kind of standing out on the driveway. But then she freaks out because she thinks maybe he's there to... She's paranoid to be willing to live. Oh, yeah. So she's kind of freaked out. And then out of nowhere, Frank runs up behind her and grabs her in the wheelchair. And she's like, get your fucking hands off me. And he's like, oh, I thought you were going to roll yourself over the ledge there. Because that patio was kind of janky.
And I think some of the railing kind of fell off. So he kind of thought he saved her or something. I don't know. From there we go into another cranial sacrum therapy session. Where again with the fucking smoke and the incense and the candles. And this time, this one's more of just like a therapy session. So she's like, talking to him, hey Frank, where do you think the source of your pain is? And he's like, oh, it's my hands. I really like playing a piano and I can't because my hands cramp up.
That's why I let you live here because you said you could help me. Okay, give me two of your happiest memories. So he's like, okay, my mom was pretty cool. Okay, tell me about your mom. And then we get into flashback territory as she cranial sacrums him into a flashback of sleepy relaxation. So this flashback is pretty stupid. We find out that Frank and his mom lived here at that house with all the Egypt crap. His grandfather was an Egyptologist at UCLA.
And Bro is always like bringing artifacts back to the house. Probably not the best idea. Mom and young Frank were having a game of dress up, I think. When Grandpa found him, got all pissed off. Through mom down on the floor and she hit her head and died. And then going off of this flashback, Grandpa didn't know what to do with the body. So he mummified her using a roll of paper towels. Which was pretty stupid. I mean, okay, you're an Egyptologist.
You should know that paper towels aren't really going to do the trick here, Mr. Mann. And then according to this flashback, had Frank bury her in the backyard. That's what we're going to go in. She's like, oh, now Frank didn't spill. Mr. Bouty. Totally. That's the quicker picker upper of dead moms. Anyway, anyway, now Frank doesn't spill all that information, but using her cranial sacrum powers. She like gets to watch through the view master of his flashback.
And then she's like, okay, what's your other happy memory? And it's this angel. He says angel. So then she gets to view that flashback. So apparently now this is where Tara Reed enters the picture, buddy. And here comes a masterful performer. I wouldn't have even known that was Tara Reed if her name wasn't in the credits. Oh, yeah. She's in it for about eight seconds. Who's angel? Angel is a former tenant of Frank's that lived in the upstairs. She was blinded somehow.
And Frank was helping with the recovery. I guess he's got a thing for helping handicapped people. Hot handicapped chicks, more to the point. And he was playing the piano and she came down the stairs where their sunglasses on. And she said, oh, you play beautifully. And then from out of nowhere, Lou Farrigno shows up and throws Angel down the stairs and kills her. And then Frank's now he's all sad. Oh, angel, angel. So now we think there's like some gun play involved in that flashback also.
So Scarlet's all freaked out. She's like, oh, shit. You buried your mom in the back and you probably buried Angel in the back. And probably her brother too, who was Lou Farrigno, who showed up. So you're a fucking crazy guy. You're a killer. So that's bad business. Now the next day Michael Aura shows up again. And he's like, hey, I really got to talk to you about getting you out of this house. I've seen a lot of people move in here and none of them move out.
They just kind of vanish totally off the face of the earth. So she's like, yeah, I think I know some things about this shit that's going on here. So he throws her in the back of his low rider truck because most Jehovah's Witnesses drive low rider trucks. Yeah. That checks out. And he drives her to a random auto body place where they find the, I guess the abandoned vehicle of Angel and her brother. Yeah. And he's like, I'm getting parked out.
So they roll up in there in their wheelchair and the guy comes out and he's like, hey, get out of my shop. And she's like, put this car in. And he's like, yeah, it was abandoned on the side of the road. And it's been too, if it's yours, it's too late. If it's already passed into repo or whatever. So she's like, ah, back in the low rider truck and take off. Now Autumn shows up again. What's her name? Scarlet is trying to convince Autumn that something really freaky is going on here.
Frank may be a murderer. This house may be haunted. And Autumn is like, oh, you got to get off the medication, mom. It's making you hallucinate. Remember the doctor said that you might hallucinate. By the way, if you don't quit acting like a fruitcake, I'm going to have you committed. And she's like, well, just go ahead and have me committed then. I'll be safer in the mental hospital than in this crazy haunted house, but this fucking serial killer guy. Which kind of does make sense?
Yeah. And now we are rounding up into our climax, which dude, this is an hour and 47 minute long movie. It does not need to be that long. It is a hard watch, but. And it's not because it's brutal or unforgiving or any, it's just fucking dragging on and on. All right, here we go. It's, it's finally time for the big climax here. So Autumn is out there on the deck one day and she's like, okay, I'm going to figure this out. She drops her phone and it plunks down into the backyard.
She's like, oh shit, Frank's not coming home. I think I know, I think there's bodies buried down there. I'm going to fan dango myself down the stairs and get down there and do some digging. So she gets out of her chair and does like, she's got like those crutch things. Yeah. She tries to crutch herself down the stairs and of course falls halfway down.
Then she low crawls herself out onto the backyard deck, which is really gnarly, puts her hand on a loose board and catches a nail through her hand. Yeah. Which looked fake as shit. Oh yeah, I did. Because the like wrapped around her fingers. Yeah, it's, yeah. You know, I'm, I'm, this movie will pick itself apart. It doesn't need any help from me, but that looked terrible. I did. She gets out there and starts using her, one of her crutches as like a makeshift shovel.
But as she's down there doing it, she hears Frank's car pull up. So she's like, oh shit. Monterey Autumn rolls up about the same time. So here, and now I'm going to place through this because this is a bunch of fucking crap. Frank gets home same time that as Scarlet makes her way back upstairs. But she manages to get back in her chair as Frank walks in and he's like, hey, what's going on? What's going on here?
And she's like, oh nothing just to, you know, here in my chair just being handicapped as usual. But he doesn't, she, her crutch that she was using to, to dig, got like broken half while she was using it as a shovel. So half of it is still down in the backyard. So she's in big trouble. In comes Autumn, she's all fired off again. She goes to bed. Apparently Autumn was living there the whole time, right? Yeah, anything. Maybe he's an on and off kind of a thing or something.
I would not leave my mom alone with Frank. No. You know, I don't, whatever, whatever to, and I, well I go all right with it. Yeah. And if I was as hot as Autumn, I would not be messing around with Frank's broke ass. Either just saying, you do a bunch of a weirdo. He lives in this bananas, Egyptian house. If you're in a Sherman, you can do a lot better than, oh yeah. I'm just saying. All right, anyway.
So now we're, it's kind of like the sun goes down and everybody's going to bed and now, and at her scarlet, it's like, okay, I'm going to sneak down there and get my, get my fucking crutch piece back before he finds it. Okay, here I go. Unfortunately, she's like going down the stairs. She's coming up so he catches her. What are you doing going down the stairs? You're not supposed to go down the stairs. With the yelling between the two of them wakes Autumn up.
And then Autumn's like, oh my god, mom. And she sees Frank kind of like, not like attacking mom, but just kind of like, look like he was trying to hug her. This was the weirdest fucking scene. It was so weird. It was like three drunken lunatics playing Twister in the middle of a very tight hallway. Yeah. I'm glad you caught that. Oh my god. Watching this going, how is nobody catching a boner to the face?
Because to be honest with you, if I'm a Janie Valentine, and I'm sandwiching these two rods, I'm going to catch somebody's going to feel my boner. I'm sorry in advance, but it's going to happen. I think he was trying to grope during the wrestling. Oh, I was like, you know, like when I say, okay, I need you to wrestle him around. Okay. Yeah. I'm pulling its shirts and... Yeah. Smacking asses. Probably getting fired immediately. Right. Yeah, very strange.
Anyway, there's like this tussle in the hallway as, you know, she's like, what are you doing to my mom? And she's like, uh, uh, Scarlet's like, he's a calorie, he killed all these people. Uh, all the yelling and screaming wakes up Michael Orr from next door, so he's like, I'm going to go help. So he goes over there, he starts digging in the backyard, thinking he's going to find something while whatever's going on in there. Mm-hmm. He finds a disembodied head. Yeah. I think it was...
That's what it looked like. It had like long blonde hair coming out. So they would make sense. He sees it and he's like, grrrr, and throws it. And then he also finds Scarlet's phone. So he's like, I'm going to call the cops. Uh, he's out there dialing and then Frank comes out and hits him in the... Or no. Anna, or a... Fucking autumn comes out and hits him in the back of the head with the shovel. Thinking he's like one of Frank's friends, some kind of an attacker or something.
Um, she takes off to help her mom again. Big, this cat and mouse thing goes on for like five, probably 20 minutes. Uh, her getting in the chair, the best part. The best part I thought was particularly stupid. Uh, or autumn and Frank are tussling downstairs. Scarlet wants to help, but she can't maneuver her wheelchair down the stairs. So she goes and gets a cardboard box. I know that's just a little like... Chair sled thing. Yeah, like a kid. Like your nine years old. Yeah. Woo!
I was like, no she did that. Yes, she did. Yes, she did. Yes, she did. Uh, make a long story short through all this fucking running around and horse shit. Uh, they find, we find out that, um, the severed head belonged to Angel, Angel O'Angelo, whatever her name was, Tara Reads character. And the secret door that was briefly alluded to, uh, Frank managed to box Lou Ferigno up in... Okay, so Lou Ferigno is Angel's brother Matthew. He was the real psycho along.
Uh, Frank managed to capture him in the like the little side room and he's been keeping him locked up in there, and feeding him lunch every day. Don't know how that happens. Uh, mm-hmm. Because if I'm Lou Ferigno, I could pick up Matthew's... I just messed up that door. Or just kick the fucking door over. Yeah. Whatever. Uh, they let, they open the door, thinking they're gonna find some grand piece of evidence against Frank, but Lou Ferigno comes charging out. No, no, no! Oh shit.
You just unleashed the incredible hole. Hey, yeah. Now we're all fucked. Uh, starts just kicking the shit out of everybody. For a second or two, he mistakes Autumn for Angelos, so he's like, oh, Angelos. Yeah. Oh, go, no, and then... She tries to play it off. Yeah, she's like, oh, yeah, it's me. It's me, buddy. Let's, uh, let's go home and not hurt anybody. He's like, okay, yeah. Uh, then he takes her up to the top of the stairs, and then he's like, oh, remember these stairs?
Do you want to go down him the hard way again? And this is when Frank comes to, because he's been knocked out by Michael Orr. Uh, he runs up there and stabs Lou Ferigno, or he like crawls up there. Stabs Lou Ferigno in the leg, and then Lou Ferigno goes down the stairs, and Frank dies, I think, immediately after.
But he really, he just kind of dangles, like, with his head over the stairs and goes, and then he kind of passes out, and then mom and Michael Orr and Autumn are all like, you weren't guilty, but you did Barry. So, I guess what they're saying is that... Whoops. Matthew, or Lou Ferigno's character, killed Tara Reed and buried her in the back? I don't know. Or he killed... I don't know, man. I don't really care if it belongs to you.
It's some kind of a weird twist where Frank was actually the good guy. Doesn't make a lot of sense, because he still buried Angela in the backyard, or at least her head in the backyard, and instead of calling the cops, like you probably should do, but okay, there you have it. Yep. That's mummy dearest for you, buddy. Ew, boy. Dude, it was a hard watch. Yes it was. I... I make it a point to put my phone in another room.
When I'm watching the feature for the podcast, dude, even with that, I was like, fucking looking at magazines. You know what I mean? Yeah. Oh. I was hitting the 32nd Ford button a lot. Yeah, okay. I was hitting the display button a lot. See how much longer I had to put up with this shit. Oh, yeah. Hour and 47 minutes this moment. Nuts. Why? Yeah. And... All right, I don't know. It's a bad movie. It means it's bad. I wouldn't say it's so bad it's good. I would say it's... It's so bad. It's...
It's borderline insulting. It's basically a big commercial for this cranial sacrum crap. Yeah. Come get your mystical powers. Become a cranial sacrum expert. Look into people's flashbacks, I guess. I don't want that. Yeah. I don't want any of it. Fucking weirdos. Nope. Streaming on to be if we have captured your interest in mates. I say no. I say don't bother with this. No. Terror read. Maybe eight and a half seconds. Michael Peret. At least he had some dialogue. Maybe a minute and a half.
Lufreigno, he had dialogue. Lufreigno, he had dialogue. Lufreigno, he had dialogue. Maybe another minute. Richard Tyson, zero dialogue. Yeah. Just getting chased out of a waiting room. I hope he made at least 200 bucks for that. Right. That's fair. It's terrible. Don't watch it in mates. Let's take us a little break, buddy. I need a palette cleanser. Okay, buddy, I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser.
I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. The food was on fire and none could save me from hunger. Stranger or desire will make for us people to live. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser. I need a palette cleanser.
I need a palette cleanser. Hey, inmates! If you like what you hear, head over to the Patatroom Facebook group and support us through the Patreon link with a small monthly donation. Check out the T-Villain link at www.patatroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts. Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show. And we are back, buddy. Well, I mean, so we try to like, when we come up with the meat hook for the week, we try to like tie it to the movie that we just reviewed.
Not an easy thing to do this week, but here we go. Music 3 on a meat hook This week's meat hook top 3 Tara Reed or movies. Yeah! No! I don't know what would be more difficult. The top 3 or the bottom 3? They're all bad. I mean, the same, really. Yeah. They're all bad. Well, to be fair. We'll probably have the same number one. I'd be willing to bet. Now, I combed through her IMVB page looking specifically at horror movies. There's a lot of shit in her. There it is. Oh my gosh.
I can only honestly say I've seen three of them. So this was pretty easy for me. Oh, okay. So yeah. And her upcoming, she's got like 20 upcoming movies. I'm like, what the hell? How can you have so many shit movies and just be it, keep on going. That we're going to put her in our next movie. Yeah. There it is. There's your show up. I guarantee you that. Yeah, if we want a bad rating, we'll throw her in it. Oh, I can't get any worse. All right, buddy. How about number three?
Number three, Devil's Pond. Never seen it. Okay, so this one, I actually like this one. Definitely on the bottom three of my list, but I mean, out of all of them. You know, for number three, that works. But basically, it's her and her husband, newly went. Go to an island. Like, hey, we're going to take a honeymoon out on this island. No phones, no this, no that. Okay. And then all shit goes wire. Like, oh, fuck, who did I just marry? Because now he's like really possessive.
And like, you're not leaving this island and blah, blah, blah. Okay. And it gets really intense. All right. I actually like the movie. It's, I think in the threes or fours. That's better than what we did this week. So there you go. Yeah. But it's actually, to me, it's worth a watch. Okay. My number three, we just talked about it. Mummy Dearest. Oh, wow. Oh, that's right. You said you always all three. Oh, we saw three of them. It's crap. I don't need to tell you why. I just spent an hour.
Yeah. So there you go, Mummy Dearest. About number two, buddy. Number two. Charlie's Farm. Oh, okay. I've not seen that. But I've heard about it. Dude, watch this film. Yeah. It's really sick. They basically go to this farmhouse. And the dude, Charlie, of course, he's the killer. Right. It reminds me of something like Rob Zombie would have done. Okay. Um, it gets really crazy with this people staying at this farm. Nice. Just like, hey, let's go hang out at this farm and bubble-blow.
And it gets like chaotic, psychotic. It's pretty cool. Okay. Definitely worth a watch. A ray of sunshine. Yeah. The cherry tree. Horizon. Okay. Very cool. My number two, alone in the dark. Steve Dorf, Christian Slater. You way, bowl. I've seen it. I have. It's also crap. Yeah, it is. You can't get around that. Uh-huh. I mean, at least there's some production value behind this. Right. It's got Christian Slater doing Matrix-style flip kicks.
Yeah. Yeah. And that's why, you know, when you say Christian Slater, it's going to be the new Dextra. I'm like, neeeeee. I mean, give me, what name one good Christian Slater movie? Broken Arrow. That's a good one. Heathers. I was a bad guy. Heathers definitely, yeah. Um, as he does good work. Yes, he does. He can't do good work. Yeah. He's also popped up in some poop. Mm-hmm. All right. Number one, should we say it at the same time? You sure? Ready? Three, two, one. Urban Legend.
That's about as good as it gets. Yeah. For Daredeed. Yeah. And she was not the star of that movie. Um, she was like a, like the, if I remember right, like the bitchy best friend. Uh, my favorite part of that movie was Daniel Harris in her goth out, goth out of the little- Oh, man. Uh, slinky, slinky kind of a, uh, good situation. Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and it really, that doesn't really, and it's not a great movie. No, and Tara Reed really does nothing for the movie. Mm-hmm.
But it's, it's passable. Yeah. The noxima girl, whatever her name is, Rebecca Gayhart. Yeah. I thought she was probably the, the crown jewel of that movie. Right. And we're not saying that Tara Reed does all bad movies. I mean, some of her sitcom shows, man, she's, they're good. American Pie. Yes. Yeah. She looks good in a bikini. Uh, that viral clip of her freaking out on the stewardess. Oh, yeah. That probably would have got a higher IMDb rating than mum and curious.
Yeah. Just that little seat alone. Yeah, just put that on an IMDb. There it is in mates. Let us know what your top three, uh, Tara Reed horror movies are. They're terrible. They're, they're, they're, they're. Get out. You're officially banned from the box. Uh, I don't expect anybody to actually do this, but by all means, let us know. Mental Health Hotline is ready to code 7753870275. Uh, or just go to paddedroompodcast.com and click the email link and it'll take you right there. Mm-hmm.
Uh, in the meantime, we got to tell you what movies we got to watch this week. And a little segment called, what are you looking at? Yeah. Yeah. What are you looking at? Yeah, buddy. Yeah. I checked out inheritance from 2017. Ooh. Not a bad show. Yeah. Uh, kid, uh, uh, he's adopt. He's like in his 20s and his biological, he's adopted. His biological father dies and leaves him like this beautiful house on the north, northern California coast. Uh-huh.
Gets there, starts going through his dad's stuff and finds like some weird, um, family tradition of, well, I don't want to ruin it, but, uh, janky shit goes on from there. Uh, watch that and I rewatched Prisoners of the Ghost Land. Really? Why? The Nicholas, because I bought it on Steelbook. Mm-hmm. That's why. Oh, wow. If I buy it, I have to watch it. Oh, yeah. It's got some cool art with it, man. I still don't understand that fucking movie. I've never seen it.
It's basically a Kung Fu samurai movie with no Kung Fu at all. No Kung Fu at all? There's a little bit of like swordplay, but it's not very much. What's up with his arm? So you, it's, uh, okay. So he's in jail in the weird samurai reality and Bill Mosley is the governor and Bill Mosley's granddaughter played by Sophia Batella. Wow. It's kidnapped, so he takes Nicholas Cage out of jail and puts that stupid leather suit on. All those little white things are explosives.
Oh. He has a certain amount of time to go find the granddaughter and bring her back or the explosive star. Ah, okay. So you'll notice there's two on his crotch. Oh, I didn't. Oh, yeah, there is. One of them goes off. That's no good. Oh, gosh. It's that. Mm-hmm. Um, it's a very strange movie, dude. Huh. Worth a watch? I would like another, I would like a second opinion on it. Okay. So yeah, somebody, anybody else seen prisoners of a ghost land?
I'd like to know if I, if I'm missing something or if there's some kind of existential thread that I'm just not spotted smart enough to pick up on. But it's very, for the way it's, for the plot and the way the plot goes, there's very little action on it. In it. You know what I'm saying? 2021? Yes. Huh. Okay. Yeah, so that's all I'm looking at, buddy. What do you got? I'm not really a movie, but, um, I don't know, it's probably dystopian sci-fi. Uh, silo. Oh. It's a series. Really good series.
It's like all these people that are, you know, like 10,000 people living in this silo with a whole bunch of levels, like a hundred and something levels. Um, and nobody knows what's going on outside. Everything looks dead on the outside and, and then there's like, if you say I want to go outside, they're all like, no! And then you're like forced to go outside. Oh. You know, it's like, well, you said it, you have to do it. Okay. Yeah, really cool show. I, uh, I enjoyed this one a lot.
A second season is actually coming out probably by end of this year. Cool. So if you haven't seen it, I definitely recommend it. How many episodes do you remember? 10 episodes. Rebecca Ferguson is in it. Tim Robbins is in it. Uh, common, he's in it. Okay. Uh, yeah, good show. Very cool. Mm-hmm. Right on. Lots of twists in this movie. Or series. Anything else? Nope, that's it. All right, how about some immersion therapy then? Mm-hmm. Ah! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Immersion therapy.
Would you think of the block island sound, dude? I, I had seen this before. I didn't realize it. I was like, I don't think I've seen this one. But after watching it, I'm like, oh, yeah, I've seen this one. Um, I liked it. Me too. Yeah. It's a good show. It's got like a, uh, kind of a love crafty vibe to it. Yeah. Um, I think it's, it's, it's aliens, right? It has to be. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So, that's cool.
And a little message about it at the end, which is what like the lady's doing with her fish. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's like, oh, wow, how funny. We're doing that to fish. They're doing that to us. Yeah, that doesn't really make a lot of sense. But okay. All right. Catch and release program, I guess. Yeah. Right. All right. Whatever. Uh, not a bad show. I'm a big fan of, um, like the small, small island setting. Yeah. Was it Maine? It had to be.
Yeah. It definitely felt like that somewhere in the Northeast for sure. Mm-hmm. Um, yeah. Could have been like a, could have easily fit into the Stephen King universe. I feel like. Yeah. What do you got for us this week, amigo? All right. This week, let's check out 2023's, the conference. This is about a team building conference for municipal employees turns into a nightmare when accusations of corruption begin to circulate and plague the work environment.
At the same time, a mysterious figure begins murdering the participants. Nice. And you'll find this gem on Netflix. Check that shit out in mates. We'll do the same in Comparinodes next week. Yes. You had me at Nightmare when you said team building thing. That by itself sounds like a fucking nightmare. Right. Yeah. But now it is time to educate me. Mm-hmm. Educating Miss Monica. First my clues from last week. They said I was okay. So I got to come home. But now I went to sleep.
And when I woke up, my parents were gone. And all the doors and windows in the house had mysteriously vanished. My sister is still here. So that's good. And the TV still works. I think I called 911, but they couldn't quite hear me. I thought I saw my mom for a second, but that didn't it weird voices. I am of course Skinner Marinec, buddy. Yeah, that's the one. Okay, I'm gonna check it out. Oh, buddy. It's new, too, like 2022. Yeah, something like that.
Wow. So people, like, generally every person I know hates this movie. And I have to, like, talking about it and describing it, I make myself kind of think that it's not as bad as I remember. But I know that if I put it on, I'm gonna be pissed off. Wow. You'll, it's a very, it's a very experimental movie. I'll just say that. Damn. And it's, I will say it's not like anything you've ever seen. Give you an example.
As a thought experiment, I said to my wife and my kids, I'm gonna put this movie on, see if you can tell me what it's about. I put Skinner Marinec on. Deacon said he thinks it's about a kid that doesn't pick up his toys. My wife said she thinks it's about new carpet being installed. How you can get those two- Wow. I'm telling you, I'm telling you right now. You're probably not gonna make it to the end of it. Cause it's gonna piss you up. Yeah, it's the one, it's like our 40 something.
You don't need to watch the whole thing. Okay. Watch what you can. Okay. And just tell me if somebody out there likes this movie, I know it. And I want to hear from them. Nobody I know. Would you find this one? It was on a shutter first. Okay. I think it's still there, but I will, I'll double check forward on here. All right, who might I be this week you ask? Hmm. I am a member of an elite dance troupe.
And I have been dancing and shaken and spinning and popping and locking and cracking and whipping and Nene. That's the thing, right? Yeah, it is. Yeah. Nene doing the gritty all of it. And me and about, I don't know, 10 or 12 other elite dancers have been sequestered in this warehouse to rehearse and go over and you know get our choreography down. I guess we're going to some big TV talent show thing. And we really got to get this thing dialed in.
And we're, it's like two days before we're going to be live in five. So we've got it dialed in. We're ready to go. We just need to hang out in this warehouse for another night. Big blizzard comes and traps us all inside. Can't go outside. That's okay. No big deal. We got heat. We got power. We got water. We got a little bit of a party because this was our last big rehearsal and I'll be God damn if somebody didn't put LSD in the punch. Oh, damn. Now we're all freaking right out, buddy.
We're having a real freak out. It's a freaking freaking. And there's some more dancing going on, but it's starting to get a little tense in here there. Who might I be? You asked tuning next week and I'll drop some knowledge on the inmates. All right. And the meantime, I think that's about going to do it for us. All right. Thank you very much for joining us as usual here in the padded room. Join us next week for my bloody Valentine kicking off a slasher month. Yeah. Oh, daddy. The original.
About to get bloody. Yes. About to get bloody with it, man. I love it. We're going to be doing non-franchised slasers throughout the month of June. You're going to love that shit. Like, comment, subscribe. Wherever you found this show that helps our visibility quite a bit. We do have a Patreon campaign running. All kinds of prize swag. Just take yourself over to paddedroompodcast.com. Find the link to see all the shit that we're offering. Contribute if you feel like it. If not, that's fine too.
We'll keep doing the show and keep it free for you regardless. Let's all wish Jason Harrel a fondadue and a happy next adventure in his life. Farewell, Jason. We love you. We love you, amigo. We'll see you. Somebody's going to see you. And Sarah. It's her too. Yeah. I'm just going to see you in a couple of weeks. I'll see you on Facebook, I guess. So without that being said, for non-franchised slasers, mummies. Terrible. Terrible. Terrible. I think I would still have sex with Terrible.
Yeah. She still looks, I mean, she's been- She had her boobs done. Yeah. Yeah. And she's had a lot of keep on the face. Yeah, her face looks way different. I'm sure it's jacked. But I'm sure she's still bangable. In a weird, milfy, porny kind of a way. Right. Mummies, good, bad, and indifferent. What do you think was worse? Mummy Dearest or Dawn of the Mummy? Mummy Dearest. I agree. I would agree with you. Dawn of the Mummy at least felt like somebody put some effort into it.
Yeah. This was just poo. Poo, mummy movies, and the Patent Room podcast. I'm afraid visiting hours are over. Bye, and have a great week. Bye. Bye.