Studyingly Beautiful The Padded Room Podcast Ep.625 The Padded Room Podcast Ep.62525 The Padded Room Radio is on the air, you maniacs. Did you miss me? Did you? You can be honest. And if the answer is no, I'm okay with that, but I missed you. My name is Darien and I have returned for another week of horror bullshit.
Who's this handsome devil sitting across from me? Who is this guy? It's Buddy Everybody! Buddy's back at the house. What's up dude? Oh man. Oh just work. Just work as usual. I wonder why I even ask anymore. The answer is always the same. Just work it. That's all you do.
Yeah, working but at the same time it's slow and when it's really slowly sucks. It just drags. I know. I know. And once I kind of cross the rainbow bridge into being a manager and a boss. I've come to realize that my job is not to have a job. My job is just to kind of be there in case something is needed. Hey you know what happens? That's what I do. I do a lot of googling of random shit that I think of during the day. I do a lot of unnecessary Amazon shopping.
Oh yeah. Somehow that makes me feel better. I just got fucking night of the creeps delivered to my house because I already own three copies of it buddy. Oh well you know why not have another one. Well this one comes with a slip cover. Oh yeah. There's a 49.95. I'm not getting back. Yeah. Because I was fucking bored at work. Is the problem man. That's what you just got to be there. Just in case somebody says oh shit I need to talk to somebody about a thing.
Thank you. Somebody get me out the ambulance. That's me. I can do that. I can do that. Ah stupid man. That's the life of a middle manager there buddy. Alright. Yeah. Middle management. Ah well we got a regular horror show to get into here hot dog. We got horror news. Listen or mail. Oh that fun shit. You ready for a little horror news? New bitch.
Horror news. What do you got there fella? Did you watch Wednesday season one with Genoa take up? No but my daughter did 14 times in a row. Wow. Yeah well in season two Steve Bishimi is going to join the team. Yeah. Yeah so we don't know too much about the season two at the moment but Genoa take us promise that the new season will be bolder and darker than the first season of the series.
You okay? Yeah she says we've decided we want to lean into the horror more. Okay. Yeah so I'll be good. I'll get I don't particularly feel the need to watch it. Yeah I saw the first season it was good but it wasn't dark enough. No it seems very tweening. Yes. Which is fine. I'm okay with that. It's not my gig but my daughter loved it so I'll take a word for it.
Gateway horror classic the gate. Remember that movie? I do. Alright well it returns the life with Blue Ray Steelbook and May. Oh get your panties on Jason Harrow. So you know why you're out there waiting on something to do. I will probably round up the gate. Yeah so yeah it comes up May 14th with a brand new Blue Ray Steelbook released from Lionsgate. It comes feature fresh with Steelbook artwork.
I believe Stephen Dorf is the same height that he was in that movie. Probably except now he smokes cigarettes. So basically looks exactly the same as he did in the game. Right? That's a silly move. Have you seen the game? Oh yes one of my favorites. Dude I had a the dead construction worker in the walls. Oh yeah. That used to scare the piss out of me.
Because you know I don't know what's in the walls of these places. Fucking shit. I wasn't too scared of the little guys. I thought I'll just kick those little shits right down the road. But the dead construction worker was pulled up in the drywall fuck. Yeah. Well if you had enough Jurassic Park or Jurassic World. No. No. Alright well the next installment of Jurassic World franchise is taking shape with Scarlett Johansson. Okay.
And in talks to lead the cast of the next installment of summer 2025. Guess who else is joining the cast? You got Scarlett Johansson. I'm going to say probably a probably another one of the Avengers. I'll go Chris Pratt. Jonathan Bailey. Who the hell is that? No idea. Okay. That was a trick question. Okay. Yes. So we're returns to theaters on July 2nd next year. So stay tuned for more. The movie is expected to usher in a brand new Jurassic era with Jurassic World cast members.
Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard not expected to return. No that's alright. And don't expect the original trilogy's Jeff Goldblum, Laura Dern and Sam Neal either. No it wasn't. Yes. So the New Jurassic World from what we gather plans to take the franchise in a new direction with plot details under wraps. Ghost dinosaurs. Ghost dinosaurs. Ghost dinosaurs. And did you ever get a chance to watch Immaculate? I have not. Me either. I heard good things.
Yes. I heard good things too. And it's now available at home. Okay. It made 21 million at the Worldwide Box office. Neon's new horror movie Immaculate starting Sydney, Swini. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Surprise release at home this week beginning today. Immaculate is now available for digital purposes. 1999 and rental 999. We've also learned that the film is coming to Blu-ray and DVD on June 11th this year.
Alright. Alright. I really want to check it out because since you know there's been some good things said about it. Okay. And she's hot. She is definitely hot. I'm not going to rent it for $10. No. That seems awfully high for a rent. Alright. Here's what we're going to do. We're going to wait for a Blu-ray release. All by the Blu-ray you can borrow it. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough.
I think that's the best way to go about. And I mean I got enough fucking Blu-rays here if it sucks then half the Blu-rays I have suck. And I think they just look good on my shelf. Yeah. I got zombie lake down there for Christ's sakes. That movie is dog shit. Dog shit buddy. But it's there on the collection. The box art looks fantastic. Phenomenal. Phenomenal. Alright. That's all I got. What do you got? Okay buddy buddy buddy buddy. Now let me ask you this. Are you a Blair Witch guy?
Do you like the Blair Witch? I'm on the fence. Like I like some of it. I don't like a lot of it. I got something that's you're probably not going to like. Okay. Blume House and Lionsgate are joining forces for a Blair Witch remake. What? That's a remake of the Blair Witch. The very first one. It's there just right now they're just calling it the Blair Witch. Not Blair Witch Project. Not Book of Shadows. Not Blair Witch. Just the Blair Witch.
But they are calling it a remake. So. Okay. I'm not I'm not too excited about it. No. To be honest with you. Okay. So I rewatched a more recent bloom house movie this week. We'll get to that. What are you looking at? I think I'm fucking done with bloom house. Be honest with you. What what have they done for me lately? In city is the red door. The red door. Yeah.
Other than that it's been a steady stream of crap. How many more purge movies are we going to get for somebody shoots themselves in the face? Right? And by somebody I mean me. I'm not too I'm I'll reserve judgment if they put a trailer together that looks interesting. Yeah. I don't want to take a look at the trailer. Okay. Chances are they're just going to have three chicks out there. So sorry. Well no. They're going to have a lesbian encounter. Oh. And then actually that might be all right.
Yeah. Just say you might buy it in that case. Well. Hold on now. Let's not close the book. Oh crap. Man. What else we got here? I know you didn't think you needed this but I'm going to tell you that you do. Oh. Even though I don't know how many books you read in a given year. But chopping mall. Yes. The novelization coming out this year. Wow. Picture art. Probably not. Oh. You wanted to you liked watching the boobies bounce.
And when you'll be put the pages back. You like you like seeing Barbara Krampton's naked nipples. Now you can read about. I don't I don't know why. All the movies to make into a novelization. Yeah. That's weird. That's not the one that I would go with. No. I would read a hereditary novelization. Yeah. Yeah. Or pretty much any a 24 pie. Wacket. Oh yeah. I would read a pie. Wacket novel is a chopping mall.
Chopping mall. All right. Whatever. What else we got here? Filming has officially wrapped on terrifier three. Oh. Have you seen terrifier two yet? Not yet. Oh my friend. The main actress in that one. I hear she smoke. She is something. And she gets into a fun little angel. Valkyrie cosplay situation. Oh, it is something to see. Okay. What else we have here?
Speaking of remakes. I'm on the fence about this one because now they're touching some sacred ground for demon. Glenn Powell is starting another adaptation of Stephen King's. The running man. Oh. Well. Now. The running man. I liked it. That's a movie that's very near and dear. Yeah.
Yeah. Aw. I don't. I need sub zero. I need buzzsaw fireball dynamo. I need the what do they call stalkers. What I don't know. They weren't gladiators, but they were basically like that. Yeah. I need I need those guys. I don't know, man. I don't know. Lastly here something else I'm not very excited about or I might be I don't know Neade de Costa is in talks with Paramount to direct 28 years later a Third installment the 28 days and weeks. Yes
I'd like to see that franchise revisited years later. That's quite a lot we skip months Yeah, yeah, what happened to that one months into maybe they'll do Oh Do more of those sandwich moves. Yeah, then they'll go into decade. So here's the problem I have Neade de Costa I Wasn't furious at her candy man movie right but there was some shit there that I really didn't like namely She shit all over the source material. Mm-hmm, and I have a feeling that's what she might be looking for
I don't know man. I'll I'll probably check it out. Oh, yeah I'm not totally furious at candy man. It just How do you make I could have been better? How do you make a candy man movie without Daniel Robotye? He's the candy man. You try to make it this revolving door of racial injustice in the meantime But the candy man is Daniel Robotye in your reference Daniel Robotye in the movie But then we're going with this 1970s candy man guy with a weird
What do you call that little pincher thingy? It doesn't have a hook. He's got one of those It's like a Not intense. I believe they're called nose pickers. Okay, put them up your nose like I don't know dude I didn't care for that. That's all we got on the horror news man. You ready for some listener mail. Let's do it Listener mail Yes, sir. We got emails and voice mails and all kinds of fun shit going on here buddy
Hmm. Well, why don't we start things off on the email side all the way from Sydney, Australia. Here comes team Hey, Tim dummies of horror you know, you love him. I'm like you don't you're not you're not better than the dummies of horror So don't don't even start with that all right get off your high horse whoever you are Go listen to dummies a horror. Yes subject line. What's up? Hey Darian and maybe buddy if we've been good
House things with you. I've been great. Thanks for asking just wanted to come in with a hello since it's been a while I've been celebrating raw head Rex's win for a while now and I think I've damaged my brain But it's back to work until next teradome speaking of teradome wins the next one starting
First week in June Tim as usual. We're gonna go back to the old format with all the old competitors because That last one didn't work out the way that I hoped to Yeah, Tim one yeah Rex So 300 meat hook looks like I'm gonna be a basic bitch here, but I can't go past these three zombies Number three zombie land number two scout sky to the zombie apocalypse number one Sean of the dead
Mm-hmm that's it for me this week hope you guys are great. Love you always exo exo team Thanks right now and Tim Thanks Tim what is your favorite zombie of all time? Sean of the dead Sean of the dead you're going with that one. Yeah, I like scout sky to the zombie apocalypse better I'm gonna have to revisit that. It's been a while since I've seen it. I think the humor is just funnier Okay for me right on thanks right near Tim. We got some voicemails coming in here
All right, let's kick things off with our main man and Ella Bam Allen's in the house. Hey Well Again, no, the solo show that's fine. I enjoy those. Well, thank you very much Mr. Gary and I know what you are at this time. Come on. You burial ground nice of terror You know that movie something else. It is all right. So meet her zombie comedies. Yeah, number one I'm gonna go Zobby land. Okay. Love that movie. That's a good show number two. I'm gonna go Return of a living dead. Oh, that's yeah and
Number three. I'm gonna go dead alive I'm watching the hope real halting it is Just like you described it. I'm really enjoying it and Finally festival of the living dead. What do you think of that? That is not one of the soft consists of finest Yeah, right it and I feel like it It lacks in the budget, but most of their stuff has been a low budget, but I don't feel like maybe they went Two ambitious for the budget. Okay. I'm not sure The last ten minutes are cool. Okay
What about the first 80 self-amolated cripple? Okay, that's interesting. Mm-hmm fat ass nine year old all right, but If you watch the last ten minutes, you've seen the best part of it and the sausage do have a cameo Of course, yeah, they're a couple chicks at the little party thing or festival It's almost like blink if you miss it. Oh And it's on to be yeah, so I wasted it was time. All right. That's all I got y'all have a good one
I'm glad right on Alan. Thanks Alan. I was not excited for festival living dead. Yeah, I saw the trailers it I don't know I Like the sauce casisters But they make a certain style of horror film. I don't know what you call it. It's not Comedy it's not like over the top gorg, but when you're watching a Soska movie you generally know you're watching a Soska movie Yeah, you know what I mean?
Rabbit American Mary dead hooker in a trunk that they all feel very much like Soska films from what I saw of Festival living dead that didn't it didn't feel it didn't look like a Soska movie right it looked like some kind of a corporate Like they like they bought the rights to the Soska name so they could put it on there and make a few extra bucks or so I don't know I could be completely off base. I will get around to it at some point there Alan
I wasn't too excited about it. That's why I've been jumped on it yet Let's get over to Anderson Indiana. Kupnukum in the house. Hey Hey I hope I got this call in and time you did yeah man. I've had a lot going on today So I forgot it was Tuesday. How dare you take it in the day off what what anyway? I think it was Three on a meat hook, sir zombie comedy Number I'm gonna shoot from the hip here Probably I don't know Gonna go with number three maybe zombie land. Okay, first one sure
There was good. I like to win a came out. Yeah, it's good show Number two absolutely shot of the day. I think that was one of the greater ones. Yeah, I don't mean Number one. What would I take her number? It's tough one Damn Oh, no good to where the first two that come to mind Number one who would I pick? Oh Oh Oh, no, I'm shooting a boy. Okay, I've heard of that. Oh, you want to call us back?
There's about a high-tech count as a zombie. No, I know I know you're like a mummy which is Not really no Get fuck All right, thanks for calling it I think again, this is top two. Yeah, I think I forgot third one I mean if number one is that hard to figure out is it really your number one? I don't think so right on man. Thanks for calling it Thanks, you're fucking together
Right on dudes you got anything for Cooper Tim or Alan there, buddy. Oh, no, thanks for calling right in yes Sir I love you guys that's my health hotline area code 75370275 or get us on the regular old email Just go to paddedroompodcast.com and hit the contact link it'll bring it right to us in the meantime it's showtime. Yeah Do you ever think that modern life is not for you? Do you be the same dead-end job every day? Is your love life?
Dying on its feet Oh Have you ever felt that you're turning into Sway that well Zombie Maybe you're not Although no one official is prepared to comment religious groups are calling it judgment day It is vital that you stand your homes The boys all physical contact with the opponents
Bash him in the head that seems to work out Oh Oh Yeah, buddy, it's Sean of the dead from 2004 this sort of a bitch got 7.9 stars Oh hold on let me give it a quick 10 see if it goes up any Directed by Edgar Wright written by Simon Pegg star Simon Pegg Nick Frost and Kate Ashfield It's got an R rating buddy. This one pretty much. I feel like jump started the zombie I think so
But he subgenre yeah, we've seen some good ones. We've seen some bad ones Um, this one probably I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say it's my favorite But it definitely set a precedence. Yes, so oh so for me the first time I watched it Obviously there was nothing like this around you know really and I absolutely went ape shit over this movie I'm like this is the most awesome movie. I watched it again. You know, it's like every time I watch it
It's still my favorite. Yeah, but it's like with all these other ones coming out. It's like Okay, yeah, it's still my favorite mostly because this is what started most most of all these coming out. Yeah But it doesn't hold that. Oh my god. This is awesome factor to me But it's still one of my favorite films. I love watching this movie. Yeah totally Definitely top three for sure. Mm-hmm. If not top two
What I find is that the more I watch it the less the humor hits for me. Yeah, I mean it's still pretty funny You know, it takes us back to the loser days that we all yes Shacking up with some fucking ass wipes that can never seem to get along It's reminiscent of what we do in the shadows. Uh-huh except these are loser roommates in a zombie apocalypse Those are loser vampire roommates, right, but it's the it's the same loser roommates
Yeah, they're gonna do the fucking dishes. Yeah reminds me of college days. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, or in my case Right when I got out of the core days. Yeah, right and then it was just like find my old high school friends and hang out They're just fucking crash and that's where all be Some video games were all gonna be I guess So we start off in London Buddy and we basically get a snapshot of Sean and his day-to-day routine. He works at a appliance store
But the build up to that is basically loser 20s life. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? He's got a couple of roommates. They hate each other Sean is the the go between between the two of them Yeah, you have Ed who's a big fat loser and then you have David. I think his name was I think so and he's he's still a loser, but he's like a little more together
He's got it together. He but he's a real cock about it. Oh, yeah, and that's the biggest problem Sean is like the the middle guy who's like kind of moving in the right direction
But still likes to hang out with his best friend Ed who's a total loser. Yeah And just like the rest of us he's got a girlfriend that he loves and should pull the trigger on but he won't because That takes effort and money which he doesn't fucking have right you know So but going through this routine with Sean we kind of get like a Presomby apocalypse of like a weird consumer corporate. I love that zombie apocalypse
Because everybody even though nobody's a zombie yet. They all act like zombies Yeah, they're just kind of like staring blankly out the window on the bus and it's England So everybody's extremely pale and look like they're all having an allergy attack for some reason
And they're all just kind of mindlessly going about their business buying the paper getting on the bus Getting off the bus walking to an office Stagging around the office for eight hours getting back on the bus It's kind of reminiscent of my life now that I think about it If there was like a Porsche muck that was staggering around a flag football field. Oh, yeah That would be me. Yeah no sense of urgency anywhere. No
Nothing at all and Sean is doing the exact same thing. Oh, yeah, he's just as miserable We cut to that day at the office his a couple of his managers have called into work
So he's running the show. He's got a team of teenage fuck faces that don't really want to be there And they don't really care what Sean has to say about anything so fuck him anyway Yeah, and seniority that was Because you're old as shit Now in my defense and I think all of our defenses most of our Loser fuck face roommate days over by then yeah
Like 25 yeah, I was out pushing it. Yeah, yeah, that was a little that might be a little generous 25 max he's 29 and he's still doing Yeah, all right, maybe Maybe it's time to get it together there. Shotsy. Mm-hmm. All right. Well, whatever His stepdad stops by and do reminds him I forgot he was in it. Oh, yeah, yeah, that's a victim from underworld Bill nice shows up and he's like good evening. He's got that bill. Oh, yeah
Good evening Sean. I understand you are to be seeing your mother this month
You cannot help but think of Victor. Oh, oh, what is all this rucket record? He's gonna kill He's looking to hunt some likens and yell at Sean about getting a better job He's like yeah, you gotta come see your mom because it's time for your bi monthly stop by and he's like ah shit All right, so he gets some flowers for his mom and then he remembers oh fuck We got a big date with the girlfriend her name is Liz and And we promised we would make reservations at the upscale
Restaurant be very romantic and of course he completely fucked that off. Oh, yeah So instead he decides to take Liz to his favorite pub the Winchester Look like a cool pub it look like an armpit. I don't know It's very reminiscent of several Reno bars That I have to go to on a daily basis for my job you would know I would yes I don't just mean like the bar itself. I mean the people in it. I love the whole fact of the the name of the place and the Winchester on the
Yeah, I'll get yeah, that was pretty cool. That's a little point for originality there Yeah, as buddy alluded to there is a legit Winchester rifle mounted above the bar But this is England They're not allowed to have guns so nobody knows how to use the fuck. I know Pretty comical
Uh, so we'll get to that in a second though. So they end up at the Winchester and Ed's there and Liz brings her two friends Dave and Diane and basically the whole thing breaks into a Yellow Sean kind of a scenario where he needs to get a better job He needs to with a need to quit hanging around the Winchester. Yeah, take me to the movies Do something besides sit around this loser fucking bar. I get that me too. I'd be pissed too. Yeah, you know
There's not even a video game arcade there. No, there's literally not there's a pool table and a bunch of crusty old Fucking shit bags and a jukebox and a jukebox which we'll come into play later and yeah Like I said just like any number of Reno bars I have to go to boxes at these other bars. There's one at the vaster lounge. I can tell you that Yeah, there's one at Harry's watering hole. There's one at fireside
There is one at the fay. There's one. I would love to have a jukebox. I would yeah, but only well. I mean Really all you need at this point is a bluetooth speaker true Whatever the fuck you want the same thing. You're fucking thing. You know Spotify account. All right anyway Anyway, yeah They make Sean feel like a real piece of shit, which he kind of should next day Sean goes to Liz he's apartment and she breaks up with him and that's that and that sucks and he's heartbroken so
Well, you know when you screw up a reservation and you want to go back to the winch ester. Yeah Bad idea man. Yeah, you fucked up Yeah, Liz breaks up with him. Sean's all heartbroken. So naturally he goes and tells ed Ed's like well fuck her anyway. Let's go to the winch ester and get hammered Which is exactly what they do. Yeah From there they go back to the apartment at this point the
Like the the penis tip of the zombie apocalypse. Yeah, it's going around them. Yes. It's not really full on penetration No, but we're playing just the tip with it Yeah, as they're walking home from the pub they're seeing zombies on the street. Yeah, the homeless dude Yes, but they're not like you know running and want to tackle you and eat your face zombies
Yeah, these are more like the stand-around and hope that you saw the beginning of the movie. Yeah people watch that They're on their way to work really yeah These are more of the stand-around and hope you come to them, so They get back to the apartment there where I guess they are budding DJs because they've got a whole mixed master set up Oh, yeah, and this pisses Dave right off who comes out and yells at Ed But this is where we find out that Dave has been bit. He's got a bandage on his hand
He's like go to sleep you fucking losers. It's four in the morning And he's like, oh well, all right then sorry. I just got robbed and some asshole bit me. Yeah, what happened to your hand? Oh, okay, but so then they finally crash out go to bed next morning. They wake up full on zombie apocalypse
They're still clueless. Yeah, but because they're kind of just corporate zombies already The ed is just running on autopilot So he just lazily walks to the quarter store Get's a ice cream for Ed and a soda Walks back there zombies cars are flipped over. I like how when he bought his soda. He let the money on there I only attend sensor Wax off
You that I guess in England maybe yeah, obviously he goes there every day. Yeah, so for an honor system Uh Gets back and they're like he gets back and he sees Ed looking out the window and he's like hey Ed Here's your your ice cream and he's like there's a girl standing in our backyard
And they're like what what then they go and they look out the window and there's literally a girl just kind of facing the fence in the backyard So they go out there and they're like, hey, what are you doing in the backyard there and She turns around she's a zombie full on zombie. What was it that he what what was it the ed through at her? Was that like a corner's a rock or something oh rock? Oi
Finally she turns around and they're like oh, she's hammered. Yeah, she's hammered. Yeah They're all laughing about yeah, and she like starts staggering towards him She kind of tackles Ed and we're Ed or no tackles Sean Ed runs runs inside and gets a camera Yeah, that was priceless. I love it. See you don't get that anymore because everybody's got an iPhone So they get a little selfie there with you know what even if they did that with these new films and pull out an iPhone
I still think that'd be hilarious. That's good. Yeah A little bit of a tussle and then Sean pushes her off of him and she
Empales herself on an umbrella stand. Yeah, and they're like oh shit But then she just kind of gets back up and starts walking towards him again Yeah, let's get inside so they run inside Unfortunately, there's a big fat zombie now inside also So they grab a bunch of stuff and run back outside to the backyard and they just start throwing these random household I don't think they hit them once
No, they just kind of whip them past them. Yeah, which made it even funnier. Yeah and then The record that Dave threw out the window the previous night they find out there and they whip it at the fat one
And it like shatters and a shard goes up into his eyeball. Yeah, they're like oh, okay records So they run back inside and come back out with a box of records But now they got to flip through the records to see which ones they want to keep and which ones are good to throw Which is exactly what you should do because you don't want to get rid of the really good ones
Those might be worse. Yes. So I would have done the same thing. I'll be like oh man. I'm in a rush. Well, he's moving kind of slow Keep this one keep this one put the insane clown posse back Well, yeah, right. I'm sure there's a fucking soundtrack in there. I can hear it Uh But anyway, they of course does nothing eventually. They're like okay. They managed to lock the zombies out which is good Oh, no, there's a tool shed in the back. Yeah, so they go back in they check the tool shed
They find a cricket bat in a shovel. Yeah, okay. Let's hit them in the head So they run out there and start hitting them in the head. Yeah, and what kind of what kind of shovel was that? It was like really short. Yeah, it's like a just like a high-key shovel. Maybe yeah, that's weird But they run out there and start beating the zombies with the bat in the shovel and it's when they realize
You got to damage the brain to kill the zombie. Mm-hmm. Okay, so now they run back inside Watch turn the TV on the TV's all telling them to stay in place and you know board up the windows and everything But of course Sean is like no, we've got to go check on me mum Yeah, well then that one newscaster said some about you got to take off the head or kill them in a brain or something like that Which they kind of repeatedly
Okay, well how are we gonna go check on your mum? So then they got to come up with a plan
Uh, so they realize though that Dave never went to work because his car is still outside. Mm-hmm. Like okay So they kind of tentatively like stay at the bottom of the stairs and they're like there Damn up there nope, okay, he's not up there no Uh, so they're like okay, we'll we'll take Dave's car we go pick up my mom then we'll go around the Liz's place Rescue Liz and then we'll shelter in place at Liz's place and then they're like
I don't know about that. We got to go somewhere familiar where we know the exits and there's food and water The wind chest room. Yeah, go around mom all those different scenarios that played off I love how they do those yeah, like quick yeah quick little zippy-zoo do-da's and then I was like Okay, this is the one we're gonna do out of all these three different scenarios I mean, I guess it does kind of theoretically make the most sense It is there's a gun there we know that yeah, but well
They don't know if it actually works. That's true. There's some some speculation. Yeah, anyway That's the plan so Go up to steal Dave's car find zombie Dave in the in the shower Okay, he's run and he's naked too. I think which is kind of worse. Yeah They got get in the car Ed's driving they go peeling around the corner. He's got like I think it was a core veterans
He's got a nice car. Yeah, it was a nice car They go peeling around the corner and they plow through a bunch of zombies and then eventually they get to mum's house Get in there and we find fill the stepdad has been bit. Yes Shhh Shhh Well, we know where that's going Yeah, it's not we're doing worried. Oh, it's okay. Yeah, well sorry I'm so much luck there Phil
But okay, we can round them up now. We got to go check on Liz so Ed has managed to total Dave's car in the time it took Sean to go inside and round them up Hmm, clearly he did it on purpose because he just wanted to drive Fills Jaguar right which I don't know what the big could he actually drive though?
Maybe it wasn't on purpose. I'm sure he did like a racing game on his PS2 Thing really right Anyway, they get in the Jaguar Pile in there go hauling ass to Liz's place Get to Liz's place They all wait in the car while Sean Sean has to like climb up the side of the building because they won't buzz them in
He climbs up there. They let him in he's like hey zombie apocalypse We're gonna get the fuck out of here and Diane and Dave are there and there's like this running subplot about Dave being in love with Liz but not wanting to admit it Diane and Sean have always known it because they see like the way he looks at her and always agrees with her and stuff See I wouldn't even have thought of this in this movie because it didn't seem like it was even
Near going this way. It was just like yeah, they're just he's just a prick. Yeah, you know But I would even thought this whole love story between those two if they didn't say it I think we just needed to really hammer home the fact that he was a prick. Yeah, like uh like that's what they should have done I feel like a zombie apocalypse will turn a decent dude into a prick pieces shit Yeah, kind of like a Negan complex thing
But I we wanted to make sure that we knew he was a son of a bitch. We'll just turn him into a total pansy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I can do By the way, Dave looks like Harry Potter if he dropped out of college. Yes. Yes, but that would everybody and he looks like right Harry Potter Anyway, and the place that they were at to me was the safest probably but how are you gonna get mom up there?
Yeah, or Sean had to climb up is the thing. Hurry up and buzz them in somehow somehow. I don't know Uh anyway, they he convinces Liz and her friends to go with them So they run downstairs pile into the the Jag so now there's One two three four five six seven people Right piled into this this little two-seater jack. Yeah, and off they go trying to get to the Winchester Mm-hmm they get going pretty good
Unfortunate. Excuse me. Unfortunately. This is the part where Phil turns but not until he gives Sean a very heartfelt talk about I always loved you Sean Yeah, what is this racket Reckon what are you doing with a cricket bat Sean? I should just be a Bill 9 impersonator. I'm doing pretty good. Oh, yeah. Yeah Selene you will not be shown a single ounce of leniency That's not to him talking to Arnold. Oh, no I don't know. I don't know if I'm that level What are you doing Bill 9
We have to get we have to get out of here. We're going to the Winchester All right stop it right now Anyway, this is stupid No, I'm being funny for this But this is the Patriot Academy All these boys over the adventures of Bill 9 or else Yeah
I think we're on this level. Oh, you're stupid No, Arnold we will not be doing that All right Uh, unfortunately, this is where Philip turns into full zombie Mm-hmm, which sucks because they're all piled in there Uh Ed just pulls over and jumps out of the car
But they left the child blocks on the rear two seats. That was hilarious So everybody's like trying to climb over each other to get away from zombie Philip Uh, luckily Diane runs around and lets them out But now zombie Philip is trapped in the Jaguar and we can no longer use the Jaguar clearly Uh, so now we have to uh
Go like fence hopping to get to the Winchester. Oh, yeah, which was pretty cool because like half the fence is just collapse when you try to hop him He goes a jump and it falls over That's about like any of these fences in Reno. I know right old-ass shit So that's great. We get a couple of fences in and then unfortunately
We get into the backyard of one house and mum decides that she knows these people. Yeah, but there's zombies So they come out and there's a little bit of a tussle and because mom is the last person to hop the fence because they're all kind of going in line Uh, they get like two fences away before they realize that mom's not there So mom screams Sean goes hopping back over the fences and gets himself into a tussle with uh, this bathrobe zombie Yeah
Bad news uh, well we'll get to that in a second good news. They managed to kill the bath bathrobe zombie
Uh, no help to Ed or Dave who just stand there watching the whole time. Yeah Um, but now once we get over that fence we realize if there is like a sea of zombies This was the last fence we had to jump oh yeah to get to the windchester And there's like a carpet of zombies between us and the windchester So luckily Diane happens to be a failed actress So she's gonna give us some little tutorials at hawk Acting lessons How to impersonate a zombie
So that's what we do. We do our best zombie everybody practice all right practice round And she's like no, no, no, you need to feel the zombie You need to be the zombie you are the Your motivation is your dead But you're still kind of hanging around Um, so they kind of impersonate the zombies As they kind of saunter up to the front door of the windchester Unfortunately, they get there and it's locked Yeah, as expected I would think I would imagine
Uh Sean tries yelling into the mail slot. Hey anybody under let me in it's me Sean come on. Let me in Which is now attracting zombies because that's not very zombie-like behavior Uh, at this point Dave has like a little bit of a freak out and he just grabs a garbage can and throws it through the window of the windchester
Uh, that was pretty stupid. I don't know what the point of that was. No, because now you have a broken window Even if you do get in which you can now they can get it they can get it also Luckily Sean to the rescue he hops up on the windowsill and he's like hey all the zombies come on for me
And he goes hauling ass off to the side while the rest of the group makes their way into the uh Winchester now just before they made it into the Winchester though They came upon another group of survivors led by an old friend of Sean's I love this this could have been our sequel. Oh Oh, man. Yeah, yeah, let's find out what happened with him Uh, Yvonne's there. She's got her boyfriend um Two other random friends and her loser cousin and they're all dressed identical exactly the same
To Sean and his group beanie with the beanie. Yep. Sure with the shirt fat guy with the fat guy Yvonne of the dead Yvonne in her group were headed to a military checkpoint on the outskirts of town Uh Sean and his group obviously were headed to the Winchester to try to uh ride this thing. Yeah, so that's pretty good Ah, they get in there Everybody's like great. We made it inside now. What do we do? What happened to Sean? I don't know it's been like 20 minutes
He's probably dead. Mm-hmm. Uh, they're going around looking for supplies and they find like a bunch of stale beer nuts And uh, we get into a little pissing match between ed and Dave Because Dave wants to leave, but Ed's like no, we're waiting for Sean and Liz wants to wait for Sean and uh eventually Sean just kind of rolls back in. He's like hey, I made it like holy shit. How did you get back here? You know, I slipped his onbies and came right back one that hard
Sure pal. Sure. Whatever you say right But that's the the good news though is that we seem to be good here as long as we don't make too much noise We leave the lights off which isn't a problem because the power is out Mm-hmm and uh, we drink some warm beer and shots and eat some peanuts and just kind of wait for help to arrive hopefully Right. All right. That's good news So waiting waiting eventually night falls drinking Ed's doing his favorite famous impression of a orangutan
um, and then unfortunately something happens. I think the jukebox came on didn't it? Yeah, they wanted light in there So they're turning on some power to have light yeah, and then by doing that the jukebox came on and then it
Was his face Ed was playing something and like oh no, we got hurry up and turn it down And so they turn off everything not not the power switch right and then so I got quiet and all of a sudden Boom the jet jukebox came on that's right and then all the random that was a whole random thing Out exterior light started flickering. Yeah, trying to figure out all of them. Yeah, just drawing every oh There was uh the bartender was in there the whole time. Yes, he came right. He's a zombie now
He's a zombie. Yeah, and we get into a fun little choreographed beat down situation with the pool sticks They're all beating the music of the jukebox beating him and hopping and There's one confused zombie right there, right? I'm in a music video. Yeah, so we ever had a zombie apocalypse. We got to try this We're gonna we're gonna be routine together. That's right. What's the music? We're gonna rehearse it a few times
That's right. I'm gonna hit dance. It's hit dance hit dance. All right, buddy for real this time All right, so now we have a problem and all of the zombies that followed Sean away haven't found their way back so now the place is completely surrounded. Yes, yes Uh, what happens from here is some pretty stupid shit, but it's kind of funny They do get the Winchester rifle down and they find some bullets for it Again, this is England nobody knows how to use a gun
So they're like, okay, well you shoot. I don't know how to shoot. Well, okay, you will you shoot anyway and I'll help you Well, how are you gonna help me? I don't know And then this is unfortunately where we find out that mum actually got bit by the Bathrobe zombie unfortunately she's been hiding at this whole time and
Yeah, this she's bits about showtime. Yeah um Make a long story short the zombies get in they almost immediately eat Dave in a very captain roads kind of away Yeah, they pull them halfway out of the bar through the window and then they just pull him Completely apart. Yeah, which was very reminiscent of day of the dead Diane gets it next about this time we managed to stop the flow of the incoming zombies
um for a second, but it's just long enough for mom to turn and then Sean has to shoot her in the head. Yeah very sad Yeah, emotional scene. Yeah um Then the zombie start coming in the back door Ed's fighting them off, but he gets bit pretty good in the in the during the commotion Uh Ed and Liz jump over the bar and in a very ingenious move like the bar on fire. Yeah, that's pretty cool Uh about that. Slow them down a little bit. Yeah, they don't like fire usually
Uh Ed jumps over the bar. He hasn't turned yet, but he's bleeding out fast Uh, this is where we find out that there's a basement to this place right on the backside of the bar Uh, they kind of crawl down there in the dark and they're hunkered down Just waiting for either the place to collapse on them in the fire or the zombies to get in and kill them Uh, by the way Ed's gonna turn any second now because he's already bleeding out quick
Uh, they're like okay. Well, uh, I don't know. Yeah, there's two bullets left for the Winchester Uh, how about one of you kill me or no? I'll kill you and then I'll kill myself or how do we how should we do this? I don't want to get bitten to death. Mm-hmm So I was there contemplating how that's gonna work. They've realized that the there's like a storm Uh hatch He was weird. It's like an elevator that goes to street level. I don't understand that but okay. I assume it's an English thing
Yeah buildings in England have maybe that's where they bring in deliveries. I don't know. What's wrong with the front door I don't know seems kind of I don't know. Hey, I know you it's only three feet to get from here to the bar But could you tunnel under? I think that's be way more convenient if you just tunneled under the street Yeah All right Anyway, that's when they realize that they can do that Ed is going to literally turn into a zombie any second now
Mm-hmm. Like okay. Well Ed. Here's a rifle. Here's two bullets We're gonna go ahead and peace out love you man and uh, oh, and then Ed cuts a juicy fart on him for good measure Oh, yeah, like it is the beginning of the movie. Yeah, sorry Sorry, sorry, no, I'm sorry, so and then they get up to street level and the zombies are very quickly surrounding them
And then the evan shows up with the army and they shoot all the zombies. Yeah And then that's pretty much the end of your movie except we get like a little prologue um Would it be an epilogue Which one comes after I think it's a prologue, right?
I don't know I don't know either I think we get a little after the fact thing and I guess it's like a couple months after the zombie apocalypse And now England has completely recovered and they have like zombie reality shows And there's like a Jerry Springer type show where a lady is still married to her zombie husband And she keeps him chained up in the bathroom or something
And they still do it somehow. It's a yeah, that was weird Yeah, and we cut back to the same loser apartment But now it's just Ed and Liz or not Sean and Liz living there And they seem very happy and Liz is apparently okay being back together with him
And it doesn't look like as big of a shithole. No, it was cleaner. Yo, what yeah It's got like a lady's touch to it now whereas before it was just fast food Beer cans and that's so I could tell you some horror stories about the apartments that I've lived in How the hell I got any young lady to have sex with me in those places is beyond me It's because you get them drunk before you bring them over I'm not admitting to that
I'm not gonna admit that before I know it. I'm gonna catch some allegations But uh, yeah, it's much nicer and she's like okay. What are we gonna do today? And he's like, oh, whatever you feel like doing and she's like well, let's go shop and then we'll have lunch And then we'll come back and then we'll go to bed and he's like, yeah, sounds great
I'm just gonna dip out to the tool shed for a bit. She's like all right And that's where we realized that he's got a ps2 set up out there in zombie ed is there Just being a zombie I guess Yeah, that's the end of your movie there buddy. Don't buy me it. No What do you think is Sean of the dead man absolutely love it. I love it too. It's a good movie. Mm-hmm Uh, pretty much jumpstarted the zombie
Uh, subgenre. Yes. There have been some good ones. There have been a lot of bad ones. Yeah. Do you remember a movie called Fido? Oh, yeah, I think about that movie often with his head talking. Yeah. Yeah, that one wasn't too bad No, that's a really good one. I like that one. They have shit like warm bodies Teenage zombies and love I understand the warm body thing though Yeah, you know, they got to get the ladies involved. Oh look they actually have a heart. Okay, get fucked No
Zombies do not have emo haircuts and just stagger around complaining about how their parents don't understand right? You know what I mean? Yeah Eat somebody fucker Yeah, you know get have your eyeball fall out right your two goddamn good looking to be a zombie. I'm can't take you serious. Yeah, right um, I never really thought of um, return to the living dead as a zombie No, but watching it now like there could be there's many scenes that I get chuckles out of
Um, evil deads of course. Yeah, but those are more demon. Yeah, sure Scout's guide my personal favorite zombie land of course. Yeah, that's my number two. Yeah, yeah Uh, yeah, they're all over the place, but there's some real shit ones too and it's just it just depends on whether or not the humor works for you Mm-hmm, you know, like was that fucking one that Irma Gersh made us watch? It was vampires, but it was um oh
God, what was that blood on the highway? Yes stupid Yeah, he will fight me all day long Expunging the virtues of blood on the highway and I'm like man, this is dumb Okay, that's a fucking dumb movie. All right All right, that was uh, shawner the dead you've seen it in makes I know you have it's a good show if not you better watch this
Just go watch it. Yes, dick. Let's take us a little break there, buddy. Oh, yeah Yeah Oh, I was never growing black and white There was never wrong, they was right Oh, I'm getting a component Seein' on the budget circle and turning the blame Working in turn to the bad I was not gonna worry about patience Why you made this business up to time Been called patience Why you made this business up to time I, I, I, I got this feeling I don't know Where I'm losing my control Is this magic in my boat?
I, I, I, I got this feeling in my soul Oh, I'm headed for your stop Is this magic in my boat? Oh, I'm getting a component Turn on the budget circle and turning the blame Turn on the budget circle and turning the blame Here in my mind Turning the pages of my life Walking the past so many past a million times Trying out the voices in the end Looking at the bars they'll never get Looking at the pieces of a million to the sky Patience is waning Is this entertaining?
My patience is waning Is this entertaining? I, I, I, I got this feeling I don't know Where I'm losing my control Is this magic in my boat? I, I, I, I got this feeling in my soul Oh, I'm headed for your stop Is this magic in my boat? Oh, I'm headed for your stop Is this magic in my boat? Oh, I'm headed for your stop Hey and mates, if you like what you hear, head over to the Patatroom Facebook group and support us through the Patreon link with a small monthly donation.
Check out the T-Bell and link at paddedroom.podbean.com and grab some t-shirts. Thanks for listening and enjoy the rest of the show. And we are back buddy. Yeah, yeah buddy. Tell you what my friend. Yes. I think it's time for a meat hook. Three on a meat hook. Top three zombie killers. There's a lot of characters that have killed zombies over the years and movies. I want to know what the top three in buddy's mind are starting with number three sir.
Number three I'm going to go with Sean from Sean the Dead. And even though it's one of my favorite movies, I'm putting them down below just because he doesn't really kill that many. Right. But it's hilarious watching him try. That's true. Well I mean he's quick on his feet. He's a thinker. Like that evasive maneuver we're trying to get into the windchester. That's you know. Yeah, but I don't know if he killed any of those. No, clearly not. But he managed to get everybody.
He managed to get them all away from the windchester. So we'll get inside. Right. Yeah, I'm with you on that. I would like to hang out with Sean. But maybe not during a zombie apocalypse. Yeah. Really the only reason I want to hang out with him is to feel better about myself. Yeah. I'm not a loser than I am. Right. Oh, your girlfriend left you. Yeah. Oh, what the hell. That'll happen. Yeah. Oh, your two loser roommates. They suck. Let's play some games. Right on. My number three.
Carter from the Scouts guy to the zombie apocalypse. Of course. Not only is he going to build you a fun zombie killing tool at the hardware store, but he's going to fight off zombie strippers with a boner probably. He's going to, his sister is hot. So we have that going also. And he's a lot of fun. I'm looking at survivability. Plus can I hang with this dude for a couple of months if I have to? Right. I feel like I feel like my chances of surviving with Carter are pretty good.
And he's, you know, if I find him like a nudie mag, then he'll be good to go. You know? So I'm going number three. Carter from Scouts guy to the zombie apocalypse. Okay. Number two, could be a little sketchy on this one, but I'm going with ash from Evil Dead just because the other zombie ish. Yeah. I'll give it to you. Right on. I mean, that probably is the most sterling example of survivability meets somebody that you want to hang out with. So that book you got a fucking chainsaw hand.
Right. I can, I can do you better than a chainsaw hand though, Mike. Looks like shotgun picker. Maybe. Sexy machine. Sexy machine. Oh yeah. Those weren't zombies though, but this guy is kind of a drag, but he's got a smoke and hot girlfriend. And I know for sure that I will survive the zombie apocalypse with him because he has a truck called dead reckoning. Oh, talking about Simon from Land of the Dead. He's a bad motherfucker. Yeah. He built the truck, he designed the truck.
He can fire fireworks to distract the zombies. That thing can plow through zombies like it's nobody's business. Not to mention the gun turrets, the radar, the communications array on it. I can, we can live in the truck pretty much. I'm going with Simon from Land of the Dead. All right. I bet we have the same number one. You think so? I bet. Yeah, we do have the same number one. I thought long and hard about going with Ben from Night of the Living Dead, but he didn't survive the night.
No. So clearly my survivability, not so good. In fact, none of those guys survived. So yeah, did a great job of keeping him safe for about six hours, then started picking fights with people, got himself killed. But, Tallahassee, man, he might punch you in the stomach. Yeah. In fact, he probably will. He's going to have a laundry list of colorful and somewhat offensive names for you. Probably going to steal various vehicles from you and weapons. But he will get you through the zombie apocalypse.
Yes. And get you to the nearest amusement park. Right. That's cool and for you. Right. Tallahassee, man. Yes, Tallahassee. I think we already agree and so on that one. We would like to know what your top three zombie killers are. Zombie killer characters, movies, video games, TV shows. I thought about a couple of the dudes from the Walking Dead. Oh, yeah. They're just a drag. Yeah. I don't want to hang out with them. It seems miserable. Yeah, depressing.
All they do is stare at pictures of their dead relatives. And then eventually they go off and get killed and then fucking fuck. No. No. Yeah. Cool. Cool. Cool. Cool. mental health hotline again. Is Eric code 7753870275 or you get us on the email. The padded room podcast. Oh, fuck. Mail at padded room podcast. Just go to paddedroompodcast.com. I should write it down. That's what I should do. Just go to paddedroompodcast.com. You'll see the mail link there. Let us know.
In the meantime, I think it's time for us to tell you what movies we got to watch this week in a little segment called What Are You Looking at, buddy? Yeah. What are you looking at? I'm keeping up on my 30 for 30, buddy. Yeah. I watched, I found this thing on, um, tooby. I don't know if I'd really call it a movie per se, but it's an hour and a half long. It's the A-G-F-A horror trailer show.
And all it's an hour and a half, it's just a, uh, like a, um, collage of different horror movie trailers from the 70s and 80s. Oh. Which is kind of cool. Okay. You know, because it's like not something I watched it while I was on the treadmill. And it's just, you know, you don't have to be involved in it, but every now and then a trailer would pop up that I hadn't seen. Well, look at that shit. I'm going to have to track that movie down.
That's kind of cool, something to say I have on in the background. I rewatched Night Swim from 2024. This is that bloom house that I was, I brought up earlier in the show. It's bad. It's not a good, I did not care for it. No. No, I thought it was pretty bad. It's basically Amityville, uh, in a pool. Oh, yeah. I didn't care for it, man. It was very predictable. Oh, yeah, very predictable. I liked it until the very end. Uh, you knew that was coming. Yeah. I know.
It's the exact same thing happening. Well, technically not. Amityville, they all got away. But still, yeah, I did. And then the family, the house is fine. It's just the swimming pool. Right. Okay. That's dumb. That's a dumb thing. Come on. Uh, just the, uh, the half bath in the basement. That's the only scary part. The rest of the house is fucking right. But what? Oh, I got a haunted sink in the upstairs bathroom. What? The fuck out of here? Uh, I don't know, man.
And it fits into that bloom house PG 13 thing. Yeah, why are we doing? Why are we fucking around? I know why. It's because we want to make it marketable to kids. But for us, road ass men who would like to see a decent horror movie really dampens it down. Right. It takes the whole bite out of it, not that there would be much of a bite from a haunted swimming pool. Right. I just wasn't into it. Did you see that one? Yes, it is. At the theater, I saw it. What did you think?
Um, well, I thought it was all right until the very end. You didn't care for the ending? Mm-hmm. Which part? Well, just the whole, they go to that lady's house. Oh, yeah. Yeah. And from there on, I lost it completely. But not to spoil anything, but if I'm understanding this correctly, you're basically telling me that it's a wishing well gone bad. Yeah. All right, fuck off. Fuck right off. So they could have come up with something better. Yeah, get out of here. I watched that.
I watched a movie called Baghead from 2023. Baghead. Just hit Shutter. Very reminiscent of a pet cemetery or a wakewood kind of a thing. But basically, there's like a witch in the basement of this old bar, who wears a bag on her head. And if you make her the correct offering, she will take the bag off of her head, and she will be the person that died that you're trying to get in touch with for two minutes. Weird. Yeah, it's not a bad show.
Nothing horribly original about it, but some of the visuals were good. Special effects were good. Concept was a little tired. But it's, it's all right, I thought. Okay. And lastly, since I went there for what do you look or educating Miss Monica, I revisited burial ground from 1981 with that fucking 28 year old, nine year old. Whatever his deal is, my mom, you used to let me breastfeed from you all the time when it's wrong. Yeah. God, what a cock blocker that.
Yeah. Okay, clearly, now I'm not, I love that movie. For all of its cheesiness and idiosyncrasies and just silly fucking zombies, you're clearly taking your girlfriend and a bunch of your other friends to your Italian chalet for a Swinger's weekend. Okay, I'm into it. Why bring the kid? What the hell? He's going to catch a face full of jizz at some point. Don't bring the kid.
You're going to have to pay for therapy later or as was about to happen, he's just going to cock block everybody, right, which is pretty much what he was doing. All right, that's all I'm looking at this week, buddy. What do you got? I got to check out one movie, 2016 shut in with Naomi Watts. So on that last week, yeah, what did you think? I mean, it's predictable. You think so? Yeah. Honestly, I did not see that twist coming.
You didn't see him getting up and being like he's just faking it the whole time. I did not see that coming. Oh, okay. Don't judge me, buddy. Okay. Well, you usually don't. No, no, it was good. It was fine. It was all right. I mean, I was leaning towards the other kid, the one that we're all off into the younger one. I don't know. I thought that was fine. Yeah, it was good movie. All right, that's all we're looking at this weekend, mates. How about a little immersion therapy, though? Oh, yeah.
Immersion therapy. What did you think of the inhabitant, buddy? Not bad. That was all right. I like the concept of the ghost of Lizzie Borden haunting her descendants and making them crazy. Yeah, I've seen a lot of those Lizzie Borden movies. There's a shit ton. Oh, yeah. That's like its own subgenre, right? Yeah. I think there's a series, too. There is with Christina Ricci. Yeah. There's one with Chloe Savini and Kristen Stewart. They have fun with each other, buddy. Oh, buddy.
And you get to see a lot of Kristen Stewart. Yes. I've seen a lot. And this one was like a distant relative of them or something like that? Yeah. Yeah. It's cool. I liked it. I liked the main chick. You'll remember her from that recent Hellraiser reboot. Right. Not an attractive young man. Very, has a very old face. Yes. Oxana, something or other, I think, is her name? Something. Yeah, she's in a lot of stuff. Yeah. That's fine. I'm going to show, I thought.
What do we got for us this week, there, buddy? All right, this week, let's check out 2022's Nanny. This is a piecing together a new life in New York City while caring for the child of an upper east side family. Immigrant Nanny, H.A. is forced to confront a concealed truth that threatens to shatter her precious American dream. And you'll find this gem on Amazon Prime. Oh, Nanny. Mm-hmm. Watch it out, it mates, we'll do the same. But now you must educate me. Being Miss Monica.
First my clues from last week. Yeah. Well, I am on my way to a swingers weekend, buddy. Hey. I'm at my Italian chalet that I just bought. I brought my new girlfriend. Last minute, she decided to bring her nine-year-old son who happens to have the face of a 45-year-old, very odd little man. Everything was going pretty smooth. I was about to get my dick sucked when goddamn zombie started popping out of the ground. And now we have to fight these fuckers off with my maid and my butler.
And this kid has really given me the creeps because he won't stop making sexual any window towards his own mother, which is nasty. I am, of course, burial ground from 1981. As far as zombie movies go, Italian zombie movies go, you could do a lot of those. Yes. You could do a lot better too. But really, the entire repeal of that movie is that weirdo fucking kid. Yeah. Turns out that's not a kid. He was actually like 25 when he played that role.
Because the Italians had a weird, well, probably rightfully in place law about kids doing weird sex scenes in movies. So that's why they could- They made 21, well, go five years older, just in case. You know, let's play it safe there. Hey, yeah. They sound Carlo. But they really wanted to have that breastfeeding scene in, but they couldn't do that with a child actor. Right. Instead, they had to get this creep, oh man. Just be the creepiest fucking kid ever. Yeah. He nailed it.
And then eventually by the booby off. How dare you? Who might I be this week, you ask? Good question, buddy. Well, I am a professor of anthropology, and I'm studying a number of things, mainly like jungle habitations and things of that nature. It's recently come to my attention that in the Brazilian rainforest, a documentary crew has gone completely missing. That's the bad news.
The good news is some of their footage was recovered, and now I'm being paid a handsome amount to go recover the rest of the footage and find out exactly what happened to this documentary crew. Naturally, when you go down there, dude, you got to be respectful of the natives and their traditions and stuff, because if you fuck around, buddy, you will find out. And you may end up getting your peepee cut off, and possibly not just your peepee, you, you hold your peepee.
You and the peepee, both of you, but separately, I'm not saying peepees like in a, or derv, you're the main course. How many more times am I going to say peepee? That's the real question, buddy. Who might I be? You ask? Tune in next week and Mates and I'll drop some knowledge on you. In the meantime, I think that's about going to do it for us this week. Thank you very much for joining us. Yeah. Join us next week for, it stains the sand's red here in zombie month. Yeah. That's about it.
Like, comment, subscribe wherever you found this podcast that helps our visibility quite a bit. If you feel like it, head on over to patentedroompodcast.com. We got fucking a patron campaign running. You can contribute if you like. We have a whole swag tier system that we'll send to you. Find out anything you need to know about me or buddy, three on the me hook, the teradome, with fucking show schedules. It's all there. Plus, previous shows.
We've got almost 13 years of fucking previous shows, buddy. Isn't that crazy? That's ridiculous. I have got to find something better to do at one time. That's all there is to it. In the meantime, in Mates, I think that's about it for us. You got anything else, buddy? No. For Jason and Absentia, zombies, horny bastards that they are, weird looking kids, Lizzy bored. God rest her soul. And the patentedroompodcast I'm afraid visiting ours are over. Bye and have a great week.