There is a way to deal with mean family members. It may involve treating them like other people instead of family, which can help you disconnect from wanting to impress them or be loved by them. Or if you're not trying to do that, and you're just trying to get along with them, you might have to dive further into your bag of tools. Visit and for more episodes.
When you're in a situation that needs to change, but you're too afraid to take a stand or just hope it changes on its own, you may be waiting forever. Unfortunately, waiting for changes can often involve exposing yourself to a toxic environment, causing long-term emotional damage. If you want change, you might have to take a big scary step to get it.
When you can't find meaning and purpose in your life and you're not sure what your next steps are, and perhaps you're feeling antsy or anxious about those next steps, sometimes you have to think outside yourself and figure out what really brings you meaning. I keep the existential very practical in this episode, so maybe it's the trip you've been wanting to take for a while. Visit for more episodes.
If you love someone, can you set them free to the point where they hit bottom? Sometimes the bottom is the only way back to the top. Tough love exists for a reason and sometimes it is the only way to see true change in someone who is being self-destructive. At that same time, it's important to define what love really is and if you are showing it and receiving it in a way that is healthy for everyone. It's not always easy to love, but it can be extremely rewarding when you have the right formula....
Ever have someone just not take a liking to you? When that happens, do you brush it off and move on with your day? Or do you brood about it wondering what you did wrong and what you can do right to make them like you? Is it okay to not be liked? I talk about that and more in this episode. visit and for more episodes
Sometimes when you're in a relationship with someone, you might not know where it's going or if it will even make it. I prefer taking action instead of waiting for things to happen. In this episode, I share some ways to take action when there's a decision to be made about the relationship. Visit and for more episodes on relationships
When you're doing the work, but the people around you aren't, and you are hoping, wishing and even praying that they "see the light" and make the changes that will be good for them, but they simply don't or won't work on themselves, what's your next step? That's the subject of today's episode. visit and for more episodes.
The emotional challenges you experience after breaking up with a narcissist usually go way beyond grieving the end of a relationship. You can be stripped of your ability to see life clearly from that point on unless you heal. In this bonus episode, I cover a lot of ground when it comes to dealing with what happens to your mind and body as you transition out of one of the more toxic relationships that exist. Visit and for more episodes about this and more subjects.
When you get a second chance at a job, relationship, or anything that you wanted a do-over on, what's the best way to show up? Do you try to impress and show others how much you've changed? Or does that actually work against you? Visit for more episodes and check out for The SAFE System on Anxiety
When someone treats you badly, you can hold on to the emotions of that moment... forever. That diminishes your feelings of fulfillment and satisfaction and can linger with you even on your happiest days. It's time to address those emotional triggers that sneak up on you and ruin your day. Websites: Difficult Relationships:
What is the right thing to do or say when your adult child tells you about their sexual abuse? I read an email from a mom who recently learned that her adult daughter was abused by another child when she was young. I bring my girlfriend Asha, an advocate for the prevention and healing of child sexual abuse, into a conversation about this topic for an honest, heartfelt discussion & guidance for the mom. Prevention & healing websites: The Overwhelmed Brain website: The Love and Abuse websi...
When your top level values are being met in your relationships, the rest of it usually works out. When they aren't, you suffer and the relationship often fails. Every relationship, whether it's platonic, romantic, or family, contains components that make up what we value. Trust contains confidence and honesty whereas distrust contains fear and stress. I talk about that and read a few emails making for a variety show today. Get more TOB at Learn how to deal with difficult relationships at
We're all in relationships of some sort, but how happy those relationships are will depend a lot on what you're willing to allow and unwilling to accept. What you allow into your relationships sets the tone for the rest of the time you are with these people. If you allow toxic behavior, life will feel pretty miserable. Relationships require you to have some courage to stand up for what is right for you. Visit for more content on behavior and relationships. Visit if you are having difficulty in y...
You know that feeling you get when someone does something that surprises you in a bad way but they don't tell you why? When you aren't given the reason for their behavior, you may walk around with that unfinished business feeling . It's what happens when you really want to move on from an event in your life but just can't seem to get past the fact that you don't know why it happened. It's a tough place to be, but it needs to be resolved if you're going to move on and enjoy life again. Visit theo...
Carrying around dysfunctions from childhood makes all your interactions harder and your life tougher. Add to that anyone that says anything critical to you, and any negative feelings you have about yourself are amplified. It's time to access a part of yourself that helps you feel good about yourself - maybe even great.
Long-distance dating can be more challenging than doing it in person, but should it contain anxiety, worry, and being completely unsure if it's even a relationship at all? Someone wrote to me and asked me about anxiety while dating during the pandemic. However, perhaps the answer has nothing to do with the Corona virus and more to do with the person she is trying to connect with.
Can you get back up after a big fall? If you're struggling to do so, your foundation may not be as stable as you'd hoped. The components that make up your life: Your job, your family, your home, the city you live in, your car, etc, all have some sort of meaning or value to you. When you start to let go that which no longer serves you, you start to free yourself from the toxic components. What do you value and what gives you heartburn every time you think about it? Sometimes removing one small th...
What do you do when peace and happiness are just around the corner, but getting there is full of toxic obstacles that you feel powerless against? There may be priorities and values in place that need to be changed, but that's not all. When you don't make the changes you need to make, you end up holding on to resentments and building a wall around your heart so that you connect less and are more unhappy in general.
Social anxiety and feeling awkward in social situations is more normal than you might think. Not everyone is a gregarious extrovert that can start a conversation with anyone. If you're dealing with social anxiety, fear of judgment from others, or loneliness, and you feel like you're not living life to the fullest, this episode may be what gets you through the challenges. Get the SAFE Empowerment System for Social and Generalized Anxiety at quietbegins.com
There's a path out of misery that some people don't take because of fear. But when the misery never ends, why not take that path? The gain is usually far greater than the loss. I talk about that path in this episode. I begin today's episode talking about the coronavirus and what you can do when you don't know what to do.
There are many situations that show up in our lives that challenge us. Sometimes we are able to act authentically and have our truth motivate us to take the right steps. Other times, fear drives us to hold back what we really want to say or do, prolonging our challenges and keeping us from moving forward. The choices you make in crucial, challenging moments such as this can define your entire life, let alone predict your future level of happiness.
If you are cynical about people and feel vulnerable and exposed around most people you meet, perhaps it's time to address that in yourself so that you walk around in confidence. It takes courage and risk, but not at the cost you may think.
Are you just too sensitive or is the other person really being a jerk? I read a follow up email from an episode a few weeks back and answer a question about the difference between being triggered and someone's bad behavior. In segment two, I change it up and talk about child sexual abuse and what might happen when the family secret is found out.
When you're needy and fearful of someone leaving you, or something ending, you tend to miss all the best moments of life. Fear of abandonment can dominate your thoughts causing you to miss out on happiness and fulfillment. When you grow beyond that fear, you might actually starting enjoying life again.
This episode is about selfishness. When you are interacting with people that only want what they want, regardless of how it affects you, you're in for a very dysfunctional, and possibly emotionally harmful situation. It's important to know your line and know when people cross it, then honor that line so that you don't lose a bit of yourself.
Creating a relationship with yourself is the first part of the bigger picture of having great relationships in your life in general. But what happens when fearful people think you're starting to enjoy being yourself too much and are afraid that you'll go off and leave them behind? You start by getting to know yourself, then being unafraid to be yourself, then learning how to deal with others who aren't so ready for your happiness. It's a packed episode.
If you're always looking in the rear view mirror, it's quite possible you're not creating the life you want. Sometimes you get to the tipping point where you just can't stand it anymore and you take action. On segment two, there's a seriously difficult decision facing someone who wrote to me who is married but wants to explore being transgender, but his wife is upset and the marriage is in limbo. The impossible decision looms over him.
When you have a challenge that causes you stress and you want to make the right decision, you may need to dive in a little deeper to get a good answer. Whether you're preparing for what you know will be a difficult time, or you're helping someone else with their problem, there's a way to get to access that inner wisdom for a possible solution.
The feelings of jealousy or envy can quickly take over when someone else gets what we want, or succeeds at something we're trying to accomplish. There's a choice we make in that moment: To be upset and feel defeated, or be inspired to try harder and make something happen. What you choose determines whether you win or lose.
Will you ever have enough love, or enough money, or enough time, or... When you're always trying to get more but never seem to get ahead, it's time to figure out why that is. I talk about that and more in this first episode of 2020.
